Thursday, January 29, 2015

Project Runway All Stars 1/29/15--"Always the Bridesmaid" summary

Previously on Project Runway All-Stars: the challenge was to make two looks. One ready-to-wear look made out of separates that you could sell on QVC and one “fashion forward” look that somehow goes with it. Sonjia won because she bought great fabrics and used them well. Jay made pants out of vinyl-covered wool and they were terrible so he was eliminated. Before the end of the thing Isaac told Fabio to stop screwing up. Maybe because he is supposed to win and they want him to at least sort of do well first? Who knows with this show? (click for more)

Field trip to Marchesa. Woo. They end up in a room full of wedding gowns, and they’re Marchesa wedding gowns so they’re really foofy and elaborate. Georgina brings in some poor woman who is getting married and it’s her final fitting for her gown. Dana gushes about her fiancĂ©e and claims to have picked out her wedding dress and all other details EXCEPT her bridesmaids’ dresses. Sure, OK. Each contestant gets a bridesmaid to make a dress, which MUST be able to be worn to other events after this. Even though I would say 90% of the time that never happens. But why not. Helen says she would love to dress a bridesmaid but she usually dresses the bride. Shut up Helen. I’ve been rereading my recaps from your first season and I remembered how I much I disliked you. Also there are china patterns and glassware and jewelry by Marchesa. Jeez. Winner will get a Marchesa diamond ring and tickets to their runway show. That part’s pretty cool. Oh and the wedding is tomorrow. Because of course it is, it’s totally believable that this woman neglected to pick out bridesmaid gowns and left it until the last minute. Alyssa is conducting the wedding on the runway tomorrow. OK if I dwell on how ridiculous this is we’ll be here all night.

There’s a big idea board with colors and stuff. Dana has a classic ball gown. Helen doesn’t want the bridesmaids to outshine the bride. Michelle is staring at the elaborate wedding dresses there. Sonjia hasn’t sketched one thing. She’s just standing around looking confused. I guess she’s going to wing it. $150 at Mood. Fabio is planning to be overly ambitious. Sonjia finds some nice purple and just buys it because she can’t plan now. No time.

10 hours to work. Michelle wraps fabric around her mannequin and declares herself done. Heh. Dmitry is pleating silk. Michelle tells him it’s pretty and then interviews that it’s hideous. Helen is really concerned her dress doesn’t look cheap. Sonjia spends three hours thinking, I guess, because she doesn’t have anything sewn. Michelle puts some appliques on her dress. During dinner Sonjia is staring and when someone asks if she’s OK she just starts sobbing. She’s psyched herself out and Fabio and Michelle encourage her to step away for a minute and then come back. I think she gets it together. No one really comforts her, though, except I think Fabio rubs her back for a bit. Fabio’s organza is maybe the wrong fabric for the construction he wants.

Bridesmaid fittings. Helen says she’s glad her bridesmaid is like a model. First of all, all these women look pretty skinny, and second, you basically just said “I’m so glad she’s not fat” so shut up, Helen. Sonjia has enough of something she can put on her model.

Zanna time. Also Georgina’s brother is here (he’s CEO of Marchesa, so he does have qualifications). Dmitry has a bunch of embellishments but he may be doing too much. Helen has a simple black dress but Zanna tells her the lace is kind of old. Or is her dress navy? Eh. Fabio has a dark blue, with an overskirt and some beading on the shoulders. They like it. You know it just occurred to me that while they met the bride, they never even saw a sketch of her dress. Sonjia has a nice burgundy dress and some long gold trim. She’s got work to do. Michelle’s dress is maybe not “ethereal” enough or something. But she thinks her dress is the most romantic so she’s not concerned. Zanna reminds them this is Marchesa so elevate your shit.

Two hours to go. Sonjia drapes things and pins and at some point is knotting fabric. She had a plain sheath dress, and she wrapped that in fabric and I think she’s weaving the ends over the torso. It’s coming together. Fabio has embroidery he’s not using and Sonjia takes it, even though it’s black with almost a snakeskin pattern and the rest of the dress is burgundy. Helen’s dress is short. Only five people left so competition is tight.

Runway day. Lots of frantic working. Hot makeup guy Scott. Helen is really smug today, and I can’t tell if this is new or if she’s always been this smug and I only just noticed. Michelle puts her dress on and she says it does not fit at all, but she doesn’t have time for alterations. Helen says shit about Dmitry and Michelle says shit about Helen.

Alyssa is wearing Marchesa, which is a terrible idea because there is too much going on for someone about to give birth. Simpler looks better on her. Guest judge is Cat Deeley. Helen: knee-length black dress with cap sleeves and a V neck. She says there is a lot going on, but the lighting is so terrible I can’t really tell. I think the front panel of the dress is all lace, with some lace also at the neckline. It’s a cute dress but pretty simple. I guess so you can use it again. Small keyhole in the back. Fabio: dark blue/black dress that hits just below the knee, with cap sleeves and sequins and beading at each shoulder. The hemline looks terrible though, like he just trimmed it with scissors and did a terrible job of it. The back is a narrow tall keyhole down to her waist.

Michelle: knee-length dress in raspberry, that really doesn’t fit well. There are appliques and designs over the whole thing, so there’s some texture and scalloped edges and whatnot. It’s not a bad dress, except for the fit. No sleeves, and the appliques make a V neck sort of opening but there’s illusion netting. Illusion netting in the back too, but because the fit is bad it’s bulging so you can see it. Dmitry: black knee-length dress. The top is a halter neck, like a collar, with sheer silk in pleats coming down from the collar over the bust. The slim skirt moves pretty well. Sonjia: so it looks like she had a short skirt, or maybe a tight strapless dress, and then draped matching fabric over it to make a longer skirt. Like a robe. The draping is weird, like a high slit but wider. At the waist it’s knotted and the belt runs under the knot. And there are long sleeves. Part of the draped fabric is pinned at her hip, like a swag of fabric. I really like the color but I can’t decide if I like the design. Open triangle of skin in the back.

So I guess they’re giving critiques before the wedding? Huh. Helen’s dress is flattering and appropriate, if boring. Alyssa thinks it’s a little old. Fabio tells the judges he though half-cap sleeves and a draped skirt would be classic but modern. The hemline is a mess, and he’s worked with this fabric so he should know better. Everyone laughs but Isaac is stone faced. The shoulders stick out too much and maybe make her look wide. Isaac is all disappointed father, like “this isn’t the Fabio I was hoping to see” or whatever. Michelle’s illusion netting has no finishing or anything and the neck looks ragged. She wanted a fancy neckline with the scalloping because she was thinking of all the pictures. Isaac wants it to be five inches shorter. It’s not that long but OK. Alyssa points out the applique on her chest right under her boobs kind of looks like a penis. Hee. Georgina thinks she pushed it a little bit. Dmitry wanted elegant and modern. Now that I can see his dress, it’s a navy blue with black sheer silk. Isaac says he does the prettiest dresses, but this is unattractive. Georgina says it’s not new. I think Isaac hates everything up there. Dmitry wanted his dress to be versatile but it shouldn’t be boring. Cat is thinking that it’s safe, and if this was the real world where most brides dress all the bridesmaids the same, this would be great. The best Isaac can come up with is “It’s not a disaster”. Sonjia’s dress certainly is the most interesting one up there. It’s true. Isaac says there is too much draping and it doesn’t quite work. Alyssa loves it though.

Michelle thinks the judges are going to throw darts today to decide who goes home. Isaac says you have to “make it happen”, not just work. Isaac liked Helen’s dress, which I thought was pretty plain. Pretty but conservative and safe. Isaac says at least Sonjia tried but he can’t reward her. I didn’t like anyone’s stuff this week, although I guess I would hope for a simpler dress. But if I am having a dress custom designed for me by a fashion designer I would hope for a one-of-a-kind dress that doesn’t look like something I can buy at Nordstrom’s, you know? And I feel like most of the dresses today are like that, except for Sonjia and Michelle. Dmitry was “offensively dull”. Cat would wear it though, even if it’s not stellar. Michelle’s dress was maybe circus and the proportions were bad, but Georgina says at least she tried. Fabio went outside of his comfort zone, but an All-Star should know better than to try to use that fabric in that way. Isaac argues for eliminating Michelle, while Georgina says she tried and it was more interesting.

OMG casting for Project Runway season 14! Aren’t you excited!? Nope!

The winner is Helen. I guess. But it was boring! I guess boring is better than crazy. Sonjia is in. Dmitry is in. He promises to do better. They did notice Michelle’s lack of fit, but it didn’t work and neither did Fabio’s fabric choice. Fabio is out. BOO. Michelle is in. Alyssa is kind of choked up and she gets up to hug him. I love you Fabio. I wish I could have you make me something because I’m sure it would be boss. He seems to be at peace with his elimination.

Then there is the wedding, with Dana in her Marchesa ball gown that is elaborate. At least they let Fabio come back in to watch. It’s cute.

Next time: Michelle and Helen fight, dogs LIKE LITERAL DOGS FOR SOME REASON, one of the dogs poops on the floor, one more challenge for no reason. Helen cries but I feel there is a chance she’s making loud noises but no tears are present.

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