Thursday, January 22, 2015

Project Runway All Stars 1/22/15--"Versatile Tops and Bottoms" summary

Previously on Project Runway All-Stars: “avant garde” challenge based on the aquarium. Woo. Dmitry won, which was fine even though it was a thing he’d done several times before. At least Helen didn’t win with her terrible pillowcase with ruffles. I don’t know why that was in the top. Then it was time for Justin to go home so even though his dress wasn’t so terrible he was sent home. Ugh. (click for more)

Alyssa comes out and talks about QVC because it’s time for some product placement. They must design two separates that will work together, but you can also wear them with other things. The twist is that they have to make a “fashion forward” version of their look because of course. Well at least they announced it now instead of waiting until the challenge is half over. QVC will manufacture “one of the separates you design”. Emphasis was on one. Alyssa also gets to ring NASDAQ’s closing bell, as if anyone cares. This challenge is not about the stock exchange.

Michelle is all “I know what women want to wear from a 0 to a 24” as if clothing and people stop at size 24. Whatever, Michelle. At least they started with their ready-to-wear and went to fashion, instead of the other way around like they usually do. At Mood Fabio decides to use dye to get the color he wants. Sonjia just likes to wander around and see what she likes. Jay just bought whatever and he’ll figure it out later.

Fabio busts out the dye to make his fashion look. He drips pink and blue and blots it and hopefully it’ll turn out. Jay sketches stuff but he is like pants and a jacket and like a vest, which is three things instead of two. Sonjia starts to talk about some eyelet fabric she has, and in the middle of confessional she’s like “oh um…I maybe just changed how I’m going to do my ready-to-wear”. Hee. I feel like most people have no idea what they’re doing. Jay says he’s never worked with red before. How do you get this far in life and you never worked with an entire color?

Zanna time. Dmitry has a jacket and skirt, maybe with lace. Zanna thinks it’s too extreme and also it’s neoprene. If he’s going to go for it his fashion look has to be fantastic. Michelle has hot pants for her fashion look. Interesting. Sonjia makes a lot of pencil skirts so she maybe can do something else. Fabio shows Zanna his dyed fabric which kind of looks muddy. Helen has a lot of black. Jay bought vinyl-covered wool. Why? I don’t want pants made from vinyl-covered wool.

Jay just stands around and spaces out. He would prefer to work on his fashion look so he just bails on the separates. Then they all have to go to Times Square to watch everyone ring the NASDAQ bell. Whatever. They put “Welcome Project Runway All Stars” on a billboard and Helen shrieks like she won the lottery. Girl you have been on television THIS WHOLE TIME. Calm down about a stupid billboard. They also act like they’re piping the sound out into Times Square, which seems like they wouldn’t actually do that? Maybe they would. Everyone stands there and then they PUSH A BUTTON. There’s no actual bell to ring. This isn’t the Dow Jones. That is some bootleg nonsense. There should be a real bell.

Back to the workroom. Model fittings. Dmitry freaks out because his fashion look is way too small. Sonjia says “I decide to YOLO this dress”. From what they show us, she folds up her fabric, puts it on the floor, starts cutting it and then suddenly she’s wearing a long gown with a big cowl neck. How in the fuck did that happen? Then she decides she has a gray fabric with square cutouts, like a lattice, so she cuts squares out of her gown. Helen says stuff about it, and then Michelle has an interview all “eyes on your own work” as if she’s never trashed talked anyone ever. Seriously Michelle.

Runway day. Jay scraps his separates and starts over. Dmitry loves his neoprene suit. Hot makeup guy Scott. Jay has magically finished. Helen and Sonjia talk shit about each other.

Guest judges are Lisa Robinson from QVC and stylist George Kotsiopoulos. Sonjia: the separates are a pencil skirt and a crop top, both in gray. The skirt is actually below the knee, and is that fabric with the square cutouts. The top is cropped but the skirt is high-waisted so you don’t see any skin, and it’s the eyelet fabric so there’s a scalloped hem on the top and the short sleeves. There’s some kind of miniskirt and then the cutout fabric down to her shins. The fashion look is a mustard yellow gown that is cut really well, and a big cowl neckline. Over this is a jacket or a shawl in the square cutout fabric. Some of the yellow also has cutouts. I like it. Fabio: short sleeved shirt and a short loose white skirt or possibly loose shorts. The shirt is blue and the back is the dyed fabric he made. It’s OK. The fashion dress is all the dyed fabric, which looks cool, but the front of the dress isn’t very exciting. Oh then she turns around and the skirt is draped right under her butt so it looks like she has a diaper on. Helen: red skirt and a white top with a shirt collar and short sleeves. The top is cut really huge, so it’s way too big. The skirt is just there. Fashion look is a black dress with a cape or something on the back. Like she has two pieces of fabric hanging down from her shoulders, but they don’t billow outward. It’s boring.

Michelle: long sleeved top and long skirt, both in a sort of Southwestern print. The sleeves are a little loose, and then the skirt has the same print on the sides (red background and yellow and white design). Then the center panel of the skirt is the reverse print, with a white background and red design. It’s a lot of print, and I could easily see someone wearing the pieces separately but not together. The skirt has a mullet hem. Fashion look is the white print, made into a long gown with no lining and huge balloon sleeves. It took me a minute because the skirt wasn’t lined and I wondered if it was pants. Dmitry: cropped wrap jacket and pencil skirt, in blue neoprene with black lace at the wrists and the hem. It’s very tight and it looks cool but I don’t know how well it would sell on QVC. There’s a cutout on the back of the jacket. The fashion look is a yellow and black dress, with one bare arm and one long sleeve. The black is the same lace and is across her waist and then I think the skirt is just sheer lace. It certainly is striking. Jay: gray camisole and black pants in the vinyl-covered wool. The pants are absolutely terrible. They’re wrinkled and too big and they look like they’re made out of garbage bags. Fashion look is a red dress, in tiers. It looks like he took lengths of fabric, laid them on top of each other to make tiers, then draped them over the model’s shoulders. So right shoulder to left hip, then around the back and over the other shoulder and across. The skirt looks like the fabric wraps around her butt, and then there’s more fabric hanging off it like a cape? The back is cut down to her ass.

Alyssa says they’re starting judging with Sonjia, Fabio, and Dmitry, but not if they are the top or the bottom. Georgina loves what Dmitry has done, but she thinks maybe his fashion look is better to be sold. Isaac hates both of them, or at least thinks they’re both fashion. I guess he did OK? The majority of the judges seemed fine with it. Fabio’s dress is not enough. Or possibly too much. It’s a little young. The separates are a skort and a leather top. They are really saleable. Isaac says the pieces are irrelevant which is so random. Everyone loves Sonjia’s separates and they like the yellow dress for drama but maybe turn it around? Whatever, Sonjia is safe.

Other group’s turn. Helen’s cape thing is a reverse box pleat. Her top works on the model but not on anyone else. They love her stuff. Alyssa goes so far as to pretend she’d wear the black dress, then save it to give to her daughter 20 years from now. COME ON. It’s bad enough you think we should sit through this crappy judging, but now you want me to swallow this tripe about heirloom pieces? You can shove it. Michelle has hot pants under her sheer skirt on the fashion look. Isaac hates the print, but everyone else seems confused. Like they can’t decide if they like it or not. Jay’s pants look messy and terrible. His fashion look and his separates don’t really go together.

Dmitry’s looks are deemed “flattering”. Isaac can’t decide which one is more fashion forward. They really love Helen’s dress, but it doesn’t go with the separates. Sonjia’s two looks go together, and even though Georgina doesn’t like the yellow dress, she can agree it’s fresh. The judges have an argument about Michelle’s print and whether or not it sucks. Jay should have known enough to fix those pants. Fabio’s dress wasn’t fashion forward and Isaac hates on his “ironic color sense”.

Dmitry is in. Sonjia wins! Yay! Helen is in. Michelle is in. Jay is out. Well…I guess when they showed him flailing earlier that was a sign. Isaac is like, oh by the way Fabio you’ve been in the bottom a lot so quit doing that. Shut up, Isaac. Jay says he overthought things and became his own worst enemy. But he’s stronger now.

Next week: wedding gowns, I think, Sonjia loses it, there seems to be a couple? So someone actually gets married?

1 comment:

Duabe said...

Oh dear... now they've done it - they really made you mad this time Toyouke!

They're all irritating and can't wait for this show to be over.

At least they're featuring Hot Makeup Guy Scott more now - hope that makes up for the rest of the show?