Project Runway 8/14/14--"A Suitable Twist" summary

Previously on Project Runway: you were supposed to imagine an outfit 20 years in the future, inspired by 20 years in the past. Yeah, it didn’t make a ton of sense to me either. Most people made really boring clothes for some reason. I’m not sure why, but it made for a boring runway. Amanda made some weird sheer top and bell bottoms, so the judges made sure to call her out for sucking (since she had immunity). Sandhya won again, for at least making a dress with metallic tubes that was interesting. Of course everyone is mad about it and faked their clapping. Korina didn’t even bother to fake clap, though, because I guess she forgot everyone would see that. Angela was eliminated for a pretty boring pink suit and also probably because she was headed for a mental breakdown. (click for more)

The apartments are the usual round of people saying how they need to redeem themselves and trying to guess what the challenge will be. It’s very dumb because if they’re still filming on the schedule they used to, these people already know what the challenge is. But whatever. No one is overtly mean to Sandhya and they don’t interview about how she sucks so I’d declare that a win.

The vans bring everyone to Red Robin, because remember how they’re a sponsor? For whatever unfathomable reason? The VP of “brand transformation”, Jason Rusk, greets them. He is short. Also isn’t “VP of Brand Transformation” the most made-up job title you’ve ever heard of? Anyway, blah blah burgers, let’s pretend grilled pineapple or fried eggs are wacky things no one would ever think of putting on burgers. Thanks for the idea 1997!

OK so they’re supposed to “get a fresh take” on…whatever. Things that are classic like hamburgers. A whole lineup of men in very dated suits walk out of the restaurant, which means this is probably the best part of the episode. Lots of men. Char approves, because I knew I liked her. Each designer will use one of the suits as “inspiration and fabric” to make a “high fashion” look. They will use the jacket and the pants, but not the shirts? Sure. Sandhya gets to pick first, so she takes the guy with the bright yellow jacket and purple pants. Everyone else breathes a sigh of relief. Then Tim says the twist is Sandhya is picking EVERYONE’S suits. Ha! Some people are glad and some are pissed. Mitchell is whiny, as is Amanda, but Kini loves it. Sandhya claims she’s picking out whatever she thought everyone would pick, like she’s being super nice about it. I wouldn’t do that, I’d screw people. But I am an evil person. Now they get bottomless fries as a treat! Woo.

Amanda is using tiny patches, because she hates her suit. Kristine is making pants which she knows is a risk because it’s very like a suit. She has dark pink velvet but she also doesn’t care. Mitchell complains about his leisure suit. Amanda claims to be over her ugly suit, as she interviews about her ugly suit. Hernan thinks Sandhya is afraid of him. Yeah, sure. Or, you were a jerk before.

Amanda starts sneezing like she is allergic to her suit. Ha! Mitchell is STILL whining about it. But he has giant clear plastic sheets for some reason, and Sandhya didn’t give him those, so let’s not be so proud of ourselves. Korina discovers that both she and Kristine are making motorcycle jackets so that may be a problem. Korina quizzes Kristine about exactly what her design is, like Kristine copied her or something. It’s weird but Korina isn’t my favorite so whatever. Sandhya tells the sewing room she didn’t give anyone a bad suit on purpose, but of course Hernan doesn’t believe her. He claims that when she’s not on camera she’s a different person. Maybe, but it’s not like you don’t deserve it.

Tim Time! Amanda tries to get sympathy from Tim, who doesn’t care that much. She is covering it in fringe. Kini’s dress with wide hips gets praise. Kristine still thinks that her jacket is different enough from Korina’s. Korina is worried the judges will compare the two of them. You know, because they don’t compare her to everyone else because IT’S A COMPETITION. That was not the brightest comment. Alexander is maybe trying too hard. He is still upset about being in the bottom last week. Tim admits to maybe owning a corduroy suit once. Sean’s dress looks like it’s inside out, so all the seams show like ruffles. But his whole dress is beige horizontal stripes. Mitchell now seems to have vinyl and shiny fabrics. I guess it may be the suit fabric covered in plastic like a couch. Tim has to ask Hernan where the suit is in his dress, and then he makes his “I’m concerned” face. That’s because Hernan has bronze vinyl, not draped well, and then cream fabric. It’s not great. The vinyl is too stiff to be used like regular fabric and that’s what Hernan is trying to do. Emily is told “watch the boobage”. Samantha has no new fabric. Char has to watch being too vintage. Sandhya has decided to stencil mustaches all over her dress, to reference some flair she saw inside the restaurant. Sigh. Tim’s answer basically is “Well you’ve won twice so I guess you know what you’re doing” but he seems dubious.

Amanda has a lot of work to do. She hasn’t made any fringe yet and she has to finish her dress. Model fittings. Kini is really excited, as is Alexander. Hernan has nothing to try on. What’s causing his trouble is the vinyl he bought, not the suit, so he has no one to blame but himself. Kini finishes 2 hours early and just hangs out. Kristine still has to make pants. Hernan wants to give up.

Runway day. Sean is remaking the top of his dress. Kristine frantically makes pants. Tim gives them two hours to finish up. Mitchell’s model thinks the dress is too short, so he gets down on the ground and tries to look up her skirt to try to prove it’s fine. He’s kind of rude about how he seems to think she’s dumb for being worried about it. Hernan’s model is sitting around because he’s not done yet. Hot makeup guy Scott. Now Hernan has a dress but he can’t get it over his model’s head. Then he sticks himself with the needle or whatever and bleeds on the dress. Suddenly Amanda loves her fabric. Hernan has just a cut off skirt, no hem, and he has to be yelled at to go to the runway.

Heidi’s skirt is really short. No one here is interested, Heidi. Guest judge is Bethany Mota, “YouTube sensation”. Korina: had a tomato red double-breasted suit. She made a red pencil skirt, just longer than knee length, and a black and red “motorcycle jacket”. I put that in quotes because it’s sleeveless and is red fabric down the front and only has the black leather on the sides. It doesn’t look like a motorcycle jacket at all. Just the collar with the zippers. It’s a nice outfit, I guess. Char: black skirt and light blue sleeveless top with a big collar. The skirt has ribbons in a bow sticking out from her hip, and the collar has lapels that stick way out in front of the model like blinders. The suit was a powder blue tux. Fade: I think it was a tweed suit, which he made into a dress with a pencil skirt and a crop top with dolman sleeves. You know when the dress is tight and then there’s a top hanging over that like a bib. I don’t know how to describe it right. But he lined up all the stripes and checks in the tweed so it looks really cool. Horizontal on the top, then small vertical stripes over her torso, then large vertical stripes in the skirt.

Samantha: just a regular black tux, and a regular black dress. It’s short and one shouldered. Blah. Hernan: beige dress with a mullet hem and a wide V neck. There is bronze vinyl used as trim, but it’s too wide around her chest and it doesn’t sit right. He seemed to have some cream colored suit with tails, maybe. This dress is sad though. Like a failed superhero. Over on the sidelines he blames the polyester (not the vinyl he purchased) and says “Thank you Sandhya, again, bitch”. Yeah, you can go any time now. She flips him off and tells him “Don’t ever speak to me like that again” so good for her. Alexander: white tux with black pants. It’s a full black skirt, I think tea length, and a one-shouldered top in black and white. There’s just one white panel, like the center panel in the top was white, but he put wide black trim diagonally across her chest so it makes a trapezoid. Plus the top is cropped. Eh.

Mitchell: blue leisure suit. He basically took the suit fabric, I think, and covered it in clear plastic the way your great-grandma covered her couches. Other than that it’s a basic short dress with some black darts at her waist and black trim on the top. There’s a little keyhole, and a halter top with black straps. It is really short. Sean: tan corduroy suit. Knee-length A-line skirt in horizontal stripes, and a beige top. The stripes have exposed seams, like it’s inside out. The top has long sleeves and a high crew neck but ends just under her boobs. Kristine: dark pink velvet suit. Pants that she claims are jodhpurs, but are not exaggerated enough, and a motorcycle jacket that looks like a motorcycle jacket. It has lots of zippers and is cut like a jacket so even though it’s mostly pink it looks right. But I think the shoulders are cut out and the back of the pants is like a diaper.

Amanda: Christ. So it was a dusty rose paisley jacket and some random gray pants. Now it is a dress that you can’t really see because there is floor-length black fringe everywhere. The paisley is patches with some other paisley fabric in wide diagonal stripes, but it’s mostly buried with fringe. She looks ridiculous. Actually I take it back, you can see the pink under the fringe because it’s not that thick, so it is even dumber. Kini: black pinstripe suit like a gangster. The dress is a short pencil skirt, but over that are flaps that are stiff, so she has wide hips. The top has side cutouts and a deep V, and then wings over her shoulders. There’s a lot of skin but the skirt is cool looking. Sandhya: yellow and purple. Somehow the skirt is a dark color with yellow trim, and some patchwork underneath? Like a patchwork skirt and a wrap over that of something dark. The top is a crop top in white with dark coloring on the hem at the bottom. It looks almost like she took a marker to the fabric. The yellow is used as trim on the shoulders and skirt. I’m not sure what is happening in this skirt. Is it a dark mesh? Or does it have the same square patchwork pattern as the rest of the skirt? I think it might be mesh. On the back there is a keyhole and then two horizontal dark patches with mustache stencils. I don’t know. Emily: red plaid suit. A black jacket, elbow length sleeves, and a plaid skirt. Then capri pants, also in plaid. Why pants? Who knows. It’s weird.

Kini, Kristine, Sean, Alexander, Hernan, and Amanda are called out as the top and bottom. Stupid, Fade’s dress was really great. But he gets zero screen time so I guess he can’t win anything. Kini used the pinstripes as part of his pattern, and he did line them up really well. Nina loves this detail. The other fabric is neoprene so it sits well. And he left the pockets in the back of the skirt. Kristine’s jodhpurs are actually cropped, and then from her knees down there is sheer black organza for some reason. What? The shape is sort of OK but everyone hates on the organza, which she claims is because she didn’t have enough fabric. How did you not have enough fabric? You started with pants. The pants don’t go with the jacket. Amanda says some bullshit about the 70s, which I promptly forget because Heidi loves her dress and now I’m about to burst a blood vessel from this shit. This dress is horrible. It is two paisley fabrics covered in floor length black fringe, which is not even solid. She took a length of fabric and ALMOST cut it all the way through and then tacked that onto the dress. Why do the producers think we are going to buy that this is a wonderful look? Tom and Lorenzo said “Anya 2.0” and I’m inclined to agree. (Side note: apparently they’ve been asked to be guest judges and refused on the basis that they weren’t qualified. I think they’re more qualified than some of these people.) Someone wants Amanda to win so she keeps doing well for horrible things.

Sean’s skirt looks sort of better up close because it seems more on purpose. It’s not done well and the judges hate it. He tries to explain deconstruction, for some reason, but just gets bitchy comments. Alexander has to guess if he’s good or bad this week. Turns out they loved it. I mean…it’s boring. Don’t get me wrong, it’s better than Amanda’s. But it’s a black skirt and an asymmetrical top. Hernan immediately tells them he had shitty polyester to work with so he bought some vinyl. The V over her hips makes Nina say “vagina superhero”. The back is mostly nice, but the front is too short, plus you can see how raggedy it is. The mullet hem is awkward, it’s puckering, no one likes it. Hernan continues to complain about the materials, but Heidi nails him for choosing to buy vinyl.

Heidi claims that if Kristine hadn’t tried to embellish everything she’d have done better. Also they discover the hem on the jacket is all scotch tape and safety pins. Oops. Sean’s top is just cut with scissors, it looks like. Nina is bored. Zac takes Hernan’s fabric and tugs on it several times to prove it’s not shitty fabric that’s falling apart. They fall all over Kini’s design. It is cool. Not as cool as Fade’s but whatever. Zac suddenly is bored with Alexander. They make Amanda’s poor model spin around and say some bullshit about texture and “wow moments” and I hate this show. They seem to be trying to decide between Kini and Amanda, which is really no question, and I can’t even listen to them tell me that floor length black fringe and pink paisley is fashion forward.

Alexander is in. Amanda wins, because fuck you is why. The producers care about you, the audience, so little that they won’t even bother to pretend this is about fashion. Do not tell me short dresses with long fringe is a thing I should celebrate.  Kini is in. Kristine is in. Sean is in. Oh, bye Hernan. At least THAT decision makes some damn sense. Tim says he’ll miss him, but I won’t.

Next week: my recording cut out again but it appears to be about Heidi. It is about time for that challenge.