Project Runway All Stars 1/3/13--"All Stars and Stripes" summary

Previously on "Project Runway": the designers had to make a dress to be sold by Elie Tahari. So that means making sure it's on budget and able to be sewn and whatnot. Anthony Ryan won again, because he wins too many things, and Ivy went home for not listening about the print. Josh should have gone home but clearly they are waiting for him to do or say something stupid. (click for more)

Tim says the team challenges in regular "Project Runway" next season are great. And I want to believe him because Tim is honest when things suck like the judging. But I just don't know.

We are on an aircraft carrier for some reason. Josh is still ridiculous. Carolyn brings out four women who are servicewomen. Nice. Each designer will be paired with a female veteran. I like this makeover challenge. One of them has a prosthetic leg and a service dog. They will be the models also. 30 minutes to sketch, $150 for purchases and the rest of the day to work. There is no model selection so I think they must have assigned them "randomly".

Josh has the woman with one leg. You can't tell me they didn't do that on purpose. Out of all the people left, you give the most challenging one to the designer with the most potential to be an asshat. It's just like Ven last season. You know they did it on purpose in the hopes he would be a jerk and it would be a great dramatic episode. Josh says his brother is in the Army, so I think he may behave himself. Leslie says she developed a blood clot in her leg and almost died. Yikes. Josh is crying, which is telling me that he probably will try to be great. Leslie likes Josh's outfit, which is weird but OK. Josh makes a joke that is actually pretty funny, about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and how no one really has to ask him anything. Heh. Anthony's girl wants something long and strapless. Also she is a " boob hider". She doesn't look that big but maybe she is. Emilio's girl is going to a bachelorette party so she wants something fun. Julie asks Uli for an Uli dress. Particularly she likes the dress Uli is wearing herself.

Josh buys leopard print but he's dyeing it. Emilio has yellow, and Anthony Ryan has some kind of gray ombre. Uli's print is exactly the print she is wearing, except in black and white and not yellow and green.

Anthony Ryan tells Josh he has boning to try to minimize the bust. Also he's going to try using the shading. Josh whines a little about having to touch his dyed fabric with his hands. It's pretty minor but amusing. He's like, poking the fabric with a ruler. Emilio is trying not to do tight.

Joanna time! Anthony Ryan put the darker colors on top to minimize her chest, and Joanna says she might want a strap just for comfort and piece of mind. Uli couldn't find any purple, but she's cut the fabric really well so it's very flattering. Joanna tries to mess with Emilio and tell him maybe he might have some trouble because he always dresses for the red carpet. Josh seems inspired this week. I think the producers' plan has backfired. His brother got to watch his first season and they have a better relationship now. Joanna tells everyone that one person will go home and the other three will go on to the finale. Foreshadowing!

Anthony Ryan helps Josh with the dyeing. Model fittings. Emilio says his dress doesn't fit, but his model looks pretty hot. He thinks he might not have enough fabric. Anthony Ryan's girl has a giant sheet, there's no shape to it. She agrees to two straps, starting in the middle and one going over each shoulder. Josh has nothing to try on. Emilio scrambles to make a whole new bodice.

Everyone hangs out at the hotel and Anthony Ryan notices that the other three each finished second in their season. They fake toast each other because they are not drinking for some reason.

Everyone works frantically in the morning. Anthony Ryan's girl's dress just hangs off her boobs, which makes her look fat because the rest of her is not as wide as her boobs, so he puts a belt which then just is tight over her boobs which is what she didn't want. Hot makeup guy Scott. Leslie really likes Josh's dress. Uli's dress is great too. The dog has an outfit too. Emilio's new dress is not as good.

Guest judges today are Katie Holmes and designer Carmen Marc Valvo. Uli: an Uli dress with a mullet hem and a deep V, in a black and white print. The print is light enough that it's not really bold, but other than that it's basically exactly what you picture when I say "Uli dress". It's pretty, though, and she looks great. Emilio: form fitting yellow dress, above the knee, with a straight-across neckline. There are straps, and the back is basically straps like a bra. I really liked the design he started with, which was a V-neck with a normal back and normal looking shoulder straps. It's not horrible though. Anthony Ryan: Jesus. Long gray dress, darker shades on top. There are the two straps he put on, in lighter gray. But the top band is tight, because it used to be a strapless dress, and then there's a tight belt, so there are two tight bands above and below her boobs. So now her chest looks huge, and the rest of her looks slightly bigger as a result. Terrible. I would never buy this. Josh: short dress in black, with a hem of green leopard print. Above the print is a strip of sheer, which actually looks really cute. The skirt is a little fuller than A-line, and there is a matching print belt. The top has a V-neck and short sleeves. Also Josh made something for the dog in the black and the print so the dog matches. Cute! His girl is thrilled, you can tell.

Everyone comes back out on the runway. Josh introduces Leslie and the dog Isaac, which makes Isaac Mizrahi giggle, I guess. They really like the dress. They also ask if she makes an effort to show her prosthetic, because with the length of the skirt it's obvious. She doesn't mind though. Isaac wants the dog to be more glamorous. Sigh. It's two pieces, and Georgina thinks maybe one piece would be better. But it seems minor. Emilio's dress is a great color, but he fused some of the fabric and didn't fuse some of it so it looks like two different fabrics. Georgina thinks it looks like a mistake. Some minor fit issues in the bodice because the straps aren't perfect. They really are praising it a lot. Oh well. Uli put a knot in the back of the belt, I think? So she can adjust the dress. The girl wanted a mullet hem, so OK. There's some embellishment that looks last minute because it is. Katie wants a feather. Sigh. I just noticed Anthony Ryan gave his girl the same hair he has. She wanted to be covered up, and she says she does feel covered up. What? Her boobs look huge. I mean, she doesn't have deep cleavage but I think she looks bigger than if she had shown some cleavage. Georgina backs me up but Carolyn likes it. Isaac says, I shit you not, "This is one of my favorite things." What the hell? Isaac, shut the hell up. He keeps going, and it is really sad how little shame he has in kissing Anthony Ryan's ass.

The judges are surprised Josh did well. She clearly felt good in it and Josh did tone down his usual impulses. Isaac says Uli's dress is "ambitious" which is also stupid. Why does Isaac have to say all the stupid things today? It's a pretty dress but she's probably been making that dress for years and could make it with one hand tied behind her back. The guest judges are not afraid to slam Anthony Ryan and Georgina agrees, but Isaac is all, I loved his dress and I will not hear this about how unflattering it was. IT WAS UNFLATTERING, YOU MORON. Emilio had execution issues but they admit the idea was good. The regular judges go with the producers and say they like Anthony Ryan better, but the guest judges agree that Emilio was better. Because he was. This show makes me so mad sometimes. It's very clear they had planned for Josh to go home today, because they gave him a difficult model and they were surprised he did well. But Anthony Ryan did horribly and they don't want to send him home, because they had thought he would be nice to the curvy girl and make something super flattering, so now they're scrambling.

Carolyn says some nonsense about how the designers "raised the bar" and that "someone is always in and someone is always out" which makes me think no one is eliminated today. Josh is the winner! That's cool, I'm OK with that. Uli is in. Anthony Ryan is in. Emilio...is also safe, because OF COURSE. Carolyn says something about "we have no reason to eliminate any of you" which is code for "we want Anthony Ryan to win the whole thing but he really fucked up this week so we can't eliminate anyone." Hey, maybe this means the finale won't be two hours instead of one so it won't be stupid.

Next week: Paris! OK, that's fun. Couture, which never works on this show, and then they have "one more challenge". Also Josh finally puts on some pants.