Sunday, November 25, 2012

Top Chef 11/21/12--"Tom vs. Emeril" summary

Going to be a quick fly-by recap today. Last week Kuniko poached fish in chili oil and was on top. Jeffery overcooked fish and went home. CJ, Josie, and Stefan returned to compete again, because we're copying other reality shows, apparently. (click for more)

Guest judge for this episode is Dana Cowin. 17 types of dumplings from 17 countries. Dumplings are delicious. Instead of making everyone know things, and possibly get screwed for their lack of knowledge, everyone gets a Kindle to look up stuff. Weak.

Micah "didn't know Kazakhstan was real". Seriously dude? Carla's hand is still messed up from stabbing herself last time. Stefan used to have hair. I know, right? Brooke has no flour, for some reason? How did they run out of flour? When time is called, Kuniko has nothing. I think she just didn't realize how much time she had left.

This show is making me want some pot stickers. Josie talks about Korea, and I think she is the one who mispronounced "pho" to Ming Tsai. Hmm. John, take your damn glasses off your forehead. You look like a moron. Dana is glad to meet Sheldon, who I guess was featured in her magazine.

Brooke needed a wrapper. Carla's dumpling was not authentic. And Kuniko didn't serve anything. Josie, Stefan, and Micah did very well. The winner is Josie. Nice. Stefan rolls his eyes, because it's Stefan.

Elimination Challenge: cook Thanksgiving dinner for FareStart, which is a group that provides culinary training for struggling people. Everyone is divided into two teams based on where they're standing. Red team vs. Gray team. Leaders will be Tom and Emeril. Nice. CJ's reaction? "Holy fuckballs!" Hee! I love you CJ. Never change. Tom is Red, Emeril is Gray. I kind of like that they aren't forcing the chefs to make a menu. Just test people on how well they follow someone else's lead.

Emeril is going for New Orleans flavors (obvs) while Tom has Italian-American. Josie offers to take care of the turkey because she has immunity. I would think she'd take dessert but OK.

I think what's happened is that everyone has been assigned a dish, but they can do what they want with it. For example, John has cornbread, but he's putting bacon, jalapeno, whatever in it. Biscuits. Carla is making meatballs. Chrissy is making bread pudding, which I don't associate with Thanksgiving, but my family has had the same three pies for a million years so that's cool. Tom and Emeril talk shit about football. CJ says he's taken it upon himself to oversee his team so they win.

Five hours to cook today. There is Bam powder, but I don't see either Tom or Emeril. Stefan and John get in an argument, which is completely unsurprising. Actually I think it's Stefan vs. the whole other team, because he thinks he doesn't have enough space. As if he wouldn't take up too much space and shut out the other team if he could. Kuniko is making pave, which is like gratin. Josh is making sweet potato ravioli, which sounds delicious. John says Kuniko is making some of his dish, so hopefully she has time to do her own. Tyler is a recovering alcoholic. That was a random statement. Josie says the oven is wonky and her turkey is not cooking right.

Tom time! And Emeril! Josie's turkey is looking burnt. They taste some things and then leave. That was fun. Carla yells at everyone because I guess someone called her "sweetie". Probably Stefan from the looks of it.

Thierry Rautureau is the other guest judge. Emeril's team is up first. The turkey is not quite cooked. Two kinds of dressing. Nice. Root vegetables, eh. Gumbo lacks depth. Potato pave is raw. Boo. Greens are not cooked enough, which is not good when you are making greens Southern style. Biscuits and bread pudding are excellent, as is pumpkin torte.

Commercial interlude: Stefan is sexist and thinks Carla's ex-husband is in the mob. Idiot.

Tom's team. CJ says that the stuffing is passed down from generations, only it has foie gras in it, so probably not. Carrot soup, which is delicious. Sounds good. Salad is well dressed. Josh's ravioli dough is not quite right. Too thick or something. Roasted Brussels sprouts are not seasoned. These potatoes are good. For dessert is panna cotta, and it is not working, as seems to happen a lot. The chocolate dessert is heavy. Everyone decides that Tom's team is the winning team. They talk some about who to send home. Biggest thing is that Tom wants to send Josie home for the turkey, except she's immune.

Padma tells the Red team they've won, while still in the Stew Room. They call CJ, Carla, and Lizzie. Everything was great, but Carla was the best. She's thrilled.

Tyler, Kuniko, Sheldon, and Josie get called back. John is babbling about Emeril and whatever. CJ rolls his eyes. Tom says Josie can't go home, but her team lost because the turkey was not cooked. She claims she didn't know. Tyler's gumbo didn't turn out, because it needed tabasco. The potatoes were not cooked. Josie stands up for Kuniko, because she was helping everyone else. Sheldon's greens are not cooked enough. Sheldon and Tyler get weird interviews about how they don't want to go home. This is because they aren't sending them back to the Stew Room while the judges deliberate. Or at least if they did, they aren't showing it. Kuniko is sent home, which is sad. She is glad she didn't just take care of herself. Everyone hangs around and says that it's too bad, being on this show doesn't mean you're a bad chef. John is an ass, saying five hours is more than enough to make potatoes, except she didn't have five hours because she was helping your ass. CJ is over it, because he's tired of John, and he says everything with John ends up being a lecture, and then John is all "You're full of shit" which is infuriating because he FINALLY put his damn glasses on top of his head. And he ruins it by being an ass. Then he's all "it's on now" which, shut up, John. No one is threatened by you.

Next time: sides of beef, double elimination, Stefan and Josh fight.

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