TAR20, Recap Leg 2, 2/26/12

Welcome to Leg 2! Last time, on I Have Tunnel Vision So I Can’t See Phil, teams raced from Los Angeles to Salta, Argentina. There was skydiving and uterus-filled throats. And Misa and Maiya can’t seem to do anything right, especially since they are golfers who got themselves stuck in a sand trap. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Rachel/Dave , Team Free Ron Again!
2nd – Brendon/Rachel, Team Sparkles
3rd – Art/JJ, Team Patrulla Fronteriza
4th – Nary/Jamie, The Fembots
5th – Vanessa/Ralph, The Dating Divorcees
6th – Elliot/Andrew, The Wondertwins
7th – Kerri/Stacy, Team Double Bubble
8th – Dave/Cherie, The Ambassadors of Laughter
9th – Bopper/Mark, The Kentucky Hillbillies
10th – Joey “Fitness”/Danny, The Jersey Meatheads

Patios de Cafayete Winery, Cafayete, Argentina

(Toyouke: “I miss Pit Stop footage.”)

2:46 AM Rachel/Dave (1st)
Clue: Drive selves to Cafayete Town Square and wait for the chasqui who will eventually deliver your next clue. You have $44 for this leg of the race.

Dave: “Use your Spanglish!” (Kmanpat: “Don’t encourage her.” Toyouke: “Don't use your Spanglish. GOD.”)

2:48 AM Brendon/Rachel (2nd) – Rachel: “This is tougher than Big Brother.” (Auburnium0513: “TAR is harder than Big Brother? Really?”)
2:49 AM Art/JJ (3rd)
3:21 AM Nary/Jamie (4th) – Jamie: “We told the other racers that we’re Kindergarten teachers!” (Toyouke: “I do not approve of lying about what you do. You are just asking for someone to find out and nail you with a punitive U-Turn.”)
3:31 AM Vanessa/Ralph (5th)
4:21 AM Elliot/Andrew (6th)
5:23 AM Kerri/Stacy (7th)
5:27 AM Dave/Cherie (8th) – and Dave has had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma twice. You shouldn’t be telling us this on episode two.
5:29 AM Bopper/Mark (9th)
5:35 PM Joey “Fitness”/Danny (10th)

Teams arrive at the Town Square in the following order:

1- Rachel/Dave
2- Brendon/Rachel
3- Art/JJ
4- Nary/Jamie
5- Vanessa/Ralph
6- Elliot/Andrew
7- Kerri/Stacy
8- Dave/Cherie
9- Bopper/Mark
10- Joey “Fitness”/Danny

Teams take the time in which they are bunching to hang out until morning, which is when the chasqui is apparently arriving. (Toyouke: “Who are these random people with the dog sitting in a square in the middle of the night?”) Once the chasqui arrives, teams get their clue in the following order:

1- Bopper/Mark
2- Nary/Jamie
3- Brendon/Rachel
4- Art/JJ
5- Kerri/Stacy
6- Rachel/Dave
7- Vanessa/Ralph
8- Elliot/Andrew
9- Dave/Cherie
10- Joey “Fitness”/Danny

(Auburnium0513: “Wow, that is a well-trained horse to not balk at all when that many people run at it.”)

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Boil My Water OR Light My Fire
*Boil My Water: Teams must drive themselves to one of three remote villages and assemble a solar kitchen from the picture on the package. Once assembled correctly, teams must fill a kettle with water and set it to boil. Once the kettle whistles, the solar expert will give them their next clue.
*Light My Fire: Teams must find Taller El Obelisco and deliver wood and clay by donkey a distance of one mile to the pottery kiln to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Watching people wait for water to boil is boring.”)

1- Rachel/Dave choose Boil My Water – Rachel: “It’s a great day for solar cookery!”
2- Nary/Jamie choose Boil My Water
3- Vanessa/Ralph choose Boil My Water
4- Dave/Cherie choose Boil My Water – Cherie: "Oh, there's a picture on the box." (Toyouke: “SIGH.”)
5- Elliot/Andrew choose Boil My Water
6- Kerri/Stacy choose Boil My Water
7- Joey “Fitness”/Danny choose Boil My Water
8- Bopper/Mark choose Boil My Water – Bopper: “All we’ve gotta do is make ‘er whistle!”
9- Brendon/Rachel choose Boil My Water
10- Art/JJ choose Light My Fire – (Toyouke: “Border patrol Spanish FTW! Lack of sign reading FTL! The border patrol almost has to find the other Detour. If they can't, they're automatically in last place unless someone totally fails at building things.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Bopper/Mark
2- Art/JJ
3- Rachel/Dave
4- Brendon/Rachel
5- Dave/Cherie
6- Vanessa/Ralph
7- Elliot/Andrew
8- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
9- Kerri/Stacy
10- Nary/Jamie

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to Salta and take a bus 18 hours to Buenos Aires. Once there, teams must make their way by taxi to Mercado de Hacienda de Liniers. Teams get their bus tickets in the following order:

Bus # 1
1) Bopper/Mark
2) Art/JJ
3) Rachel/Dave
4) Brendon/Rachel

Bus # 2
1) Dave/Cherie
2) Vanessa/Ralph
3) Elliot/Andrew
4) Joey “Fitness”/Danny

Bus # 3
1) Kerri/Stacy
2) Nary/Jamie

Teams now find themselves on busses to Buenos Aires. While travelling, the second bus has one of its windows blown in, hindering their progress. (Toyouke: “What? How did you shatter a window in the middle of the highway?”) The result is that the teams arrive in Buenos Aires in the following order:

1- Rachel/Dave
2- Brendon/Rachel
3- Art/JJ
4- Bopper/Mark
5- Nary/Jamie
6- Kerri/Stacy
7- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
8- Vanessa/Ralph
9- Elliot/Andrew
10- Dave/Cherie

Teams then race to the Mercado de Hacienda de Liniers and get their clue in the following order:

1- Rachel/Dave
2- Art/JJ
3- Brendon/Rachel
4- Bopper/Mark
5- Nary/Jamie
6- Kerri/Stacy
7- Vanessa/Ralph
8- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
9- Dave/Cherie
10- Elliot/Andrew

And once they arrive, teams get the second roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Where’s the beef?

(Toyouke: “This Roadblock "question" does not help to tell the teams what they will be doing.”)

In this roadblock, teams travel to a nearby cattle auction and one team member must listen to the auctioneer who will give them the weight of the cattle in the pen. Team members must then count the head of cattle and find the average weight of each head. Roadblockers give the correct value to a gaucho, who will give them their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Rachel B.
2- JJ
3- Rachel R. – “I’m not as smart as my partner!”
4- Mark – who decides to work with Rachel to help her. (Toyouke: “How is that teamwork? He did all the work and then gave her the answer!”)
5- Nary
6- Stacy – “I help my 11 year old with math!” (Toyouke: “God bless 11-year-olds and their math homework.”)
7- Vanessa
8- Joey
9- Dave G.
10- Andrew

After much cattle counting and average finding (Toyouke: “They had to put up a graphic on how to calculate the average weight of one cow. I weep for the future. This whole Roadblock makes me weep for math in this country. Sadly, everyone I expected to suck at long division, sucks at long division.”), teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Rachel/Dave
3- Bopper/Mark
4- Brendon/Rachel - and an argument promptly breaks out. (Toyouke: “I notice that the instant Rachel starts crying, Brendon immediately starts apologizing and backpedaling. It's a weird vibe. I don't think he was that heinous in the scheme of things. Not even the real life scheme of things, as compared to the reality television scheme of things. Like Rachel knows if she starts to cry then Brendon will apologize and she wins the argument. So that's what she does.”)
5- Kerri/Stacy
6- Nary/Jamie
7- Vanessa/Ralph
8- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
9- Elliot/Andrew
10- Dave/Cherie

(Toyouke: “I have an answer to your kids’ question ‘When will I ever use this in real life?’ WHEN A MILLION DOLLARS IS ON THE LINE AND YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK STUPID ON TELEVISION!!!”)

Teams find now that they must take their taxi to El Gomera, a 200 year old rubber tree, at La Recoleta, the PIT STOP of the second leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive WILL be eliminated!

1- Rachel/Dave – who win a trip for 2 to Grenada.
2- Art/JJ
3- Bopper/Mark
4- Brendon/Rachel
5- Kerri/Stacy – (Toyouke: “SHUT UP WITH THE CHEERLEADING.”)
6- Nary/Jamie
7- Vanessa/Ralph
8- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
9- Elliot/Andrew
10- Dave/Cherie

And with that, Dave and Cherie are eliminated. They are grateful. And so on.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Rachel/Dave
2nd – Art/JJ
3rd – Bopper/Mark
4th – Brendon/Rachel
5th – Kerri/Stacy
6th – Nary/Jamie
7th – Vanessa/Ralph
8th – Joey “Fitness”/Danny
9th – Elliot/Andrew

Next week: Harp tuning and watermelon stacking. And Big Brother Rachel is a harpy. Until next time!