Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Top Design 9/10/08--"Artsy Bunker" summary

Previously on Top Design: the second season looked like it might not suck. There are Quickfires now, and a random hot woman to host and judge. There are entertaining characters. They even started out designing in a real space instead of those fake half rooms they used so much. After being split up into teams, the designers each were assigned to one of the judges to decorate a loft for them. All clients were difficult and so forth, as expected, and there was drama and disasters, as expected. In the end the team that designed for Kelly won, but the team making a loft for India lost, probably due to their crappy couch that I wouldn’t even buy. Serge went home, but I didn’t feel too bad because he kept talking about how he didn’t play by the rules or whatever, and people who actually say that all the time are the people who aren’t really rebels. (click for more)

My friend Kmanpat is watching with me. He generally watches "Project Runway" but I coerced him with the promise of half naked boys. (Kmanpat: “Woo!”)

Kerry wants to show everyone he is a good designer. Eddie busts out the phrase “_____ boot camp”, which I think is up there with “I’m not here to make friends” and “thrown under the bus” on the list of reality show clich├ęs.

Back at the workspace, India comes in to interrupt the playing in rolly chairs. She says they’ll each get a 12’ by 14’ room to work in this week. To make things more fun, they have to share that space with someone else. As they make random selections, Andrea says she is relieved to be paired up with Eddie. After last week and her disdain for her team, she’s glad to have someone with some skill. Todd shows up with an old school TV to show them about their spaces. Complete with old VCR. He starts showing them a 50’s school filmstrip style PSA about the “tension” in the world and also “attacks”. A couple of people already get it and are laughing. Then the screen spells it out for everyone else: “Home Fallout Shelter”. Hee. Bomb shelters. Now they are kind of freaking out. Ondine thinks that you might actually have to live forever in a bunker, post 9/11. Natalie wants to make something that won’t make you feel bad about being bombed. I see. India says that they have to showcase each partner’s style, but the two halves must go together. They’ll have 30 minutes in the bunkers to think, then $6000 per team to shop, the rest of today to work and a few hours tomorrow.

They’ve built bunkers in the studio? Maybe? Gray walls and cots, and concrete. They should be thankful there’s no toilet. They have skylights, which are probably florescent lights. Everyone tries to make things pretty. Robert and Jennifer butt heads since he is really anal about planning and is horrified that she won’t plan out fabrics and whatnot. Nathan and Wisit are getting rid of one of their beds. Aww, they’re cute together! Really they want the space, but it’s still cute. Everyone is really taking this seriously, in that they’re thinking about what they’d like if they were really stuck in this space for the rest of their lives. Natalie starts talking in confessional, and it just makes my head hurt: “If the world was to end, and I could plan it, because I was God, it would have to be something stupid…like…the Chinese built the Transformers…to bomb us back, because they were PISSED about the Hiroshima bomb.” Wow, Natalie, that IS stupid. Teresa says she is glad to have Natalie because Natalie is entertaining. Jennifer wants green and yellow, and Robert wants blue, so she says they need to move closer. He calls her colors muddy, and she snips back that he shouldn’t assume because she has a plan. She’s offended, like he said she had no taste. To be fair, it’s not swampy, but it’s also a lot of brown and not as much green and yellow.

Shopping time is at Plummers, with $3000 of their budget. Preston and Ondine (“His & Hers”) each have their own little area within the space. Nathan and Wisit (“Edited Elegance”) have minimal furniture, with at least a sofa. Robert and Jennifer (“Personalized Spaces”, ha) seem to be agreeing on furniture. Eddie and Andrea (“Country Garden”) almost buy a dining table, until Eddie realizes it doesn’t make any sense. They seem to have put pillows in a pile of stuff that was labeled, and now they can’t find them. Jennifer came along and took them, because the pillows themselves weren’t labeled. Andrea and Eddie are bitchy about it, but…label your pillows.

Now is another 30 minutes and $1000 at Pier 1. Kerry and Shazia (“Clean and Classic Spa”) are looking for tea lights. Your air circulation is not good enough for candles. She wants 50. Kerry knows that it’ll be hot, even if he doesn’t know about oxygen. Ondine is getting plates and stuff like that.

5 ½ hours to work. Nathan thinks Wisit will be quick with the fabric draping. They joke about how Nathan loves Wisit and will do whatever he says. Hee. Robert and Jennifer are painting and seem to at least know what to do. Eddie is painting a tree. A tree of life. Kerry and Shazia are painting the ceiling. Kerry notices that she complains about everything, and then says he has a work ethic that “young designers” don’t often have. Preston and Ondine have a good floor plan. These rooms are like a dorm room size, I just realized now that there is furniture. Everyone is fairly far along, except Robert and Jennifer. She thinks that dividing the room in half is so silly that they might as well draw a line down the center of the room. She tells Robert that the point was to have a unified space, and Robert says that it doesn’t have to be matchy-matchy, Jennifer, but she thinks it’s stupid. He says he has a vision so she should just keep working. Nathan is worried about time.

Preston and Ondine bring things of their own to decorate with. Preston can use his shirt, that is fine with me. (Kmanpat: “And me too!”) Andrea thinks they’re almost done. Eddie is going to take a nap.

Some people are done, pretty much, and some people are really behind. 2 hours left! Shazia says that Kerry’s energy is really good, because she tends to panic. Todd shows up again, just in time to freak people out but not to do anything about it. He offers to help Eddie and Andrea, but they’re just waiting for a mirror, I think. Todd calls Robert and Jennifer’s space “sad dorm room”. I can see some unpainted wall space above the door in Wisit and Nathan’s spot. He tells Natalie and Teresa to edit if needed. Eddie and Andrea are so far along they go to visit everyone else and make fun of them. Not to their faces but in confessional. There are still people hanging things and working right up until time.

Judging time! Kelly has on a ruffley hat thing and silly hair. Kerry and Shazia are up first. The whole room is in tan and light blue, which go well together. It’s very beachy. The beds are both in one corner, to make a little seating area, and there’s’ a little bar table and some tall stools on one wall for eating, and a big mirror. Lots of candles. It’s pretty airy and soothing, I like it. Wisit and Nathan have fabric panels along the ceiling which changes the shape of the room. They only have one bed, with a sofa on the other wall. The walls are a light pink, which is odd. There’s a bamboo rug, and a chair. Kelly notices that they’re going to share a bed. Jonathan practically giggles about it. It looks like Kelly and Jonathan are looking at some rooms, and India and Margaret are judging together. Natalie and Teresa have crammed their bunker with a ton of stuff. There’s a table in the middle, with the beds serving as benches, several shelves, sideboard at the far end, and a wall hanging. The colors are browns with a green ceiling. The whole thing has an Asian feel to it. Their theme is “Zen Den”, which probably explains it. Natalie says it is a place to “chillax” which bothers me. Robert and Jennifer used a bookshelf on its side as a room divider, except they divided the room in such a way that you have to walk past one bed to get to the one in the back. The front bed is in browns and golds, and animal print, and the one in the back is light blues and creams, and stripes. The walls are white with a blue back wall, and then some wall coverings over the beds that match. It definitely isn’t integrated. Jonathan says the first thing he saw was the divider. Jennifer says they sort of got along. Robert thinks Jennifer’s personality didn’t come out. Whatever. Andrea and Eddie have painted a light green over the walls, with the tree painted on the back wall, and then creams and chocolate browns. There are mirrors that face each other to make the space seem bigger, and some shelves. It’s nice. Ondine and Preston have shiny silver wallpaper on the ceiling, which somehow does not look that tacky. The walls are blue, with a darker blue fabric panel on the back wall. There are curtains so you can block off each bed for some privacy, and a small table near the door. The drapes are velvet, I think. Over each bed they’ve hung baskets and bulletin boards, which make it really feel like a dorm room. Although I wish my dorm room had looked this expensive. There are more wicker baskets on the walls in the “common area”, sideways, for storage. Jonathan asks about whose idea that was, but doesn’t react when told. Preston says you never can tell, but they didn’t seem too hesitant to praise other designers.

India said most of them really did a good job. Jonathan starts with Wisit and Nathan, who did a great job with the tented ceiling, and their “marital bed” (tm Jonathan) was “j’adorable”. Wisit literally covers his mouth with his hand and they snuggle. Jonathan makes fun of them. Eddie and Andrea also did a great job, making a cohesive space that was sophisticated and well-planned. They are the winners! Aw! Poor Nathan and Wisit. I just noticed, Eddie is wearing a bow tie. Eddie, honey, don’t do that. On the way out, Nathan hugs Wisit and then kisses him on the forehead. I saw that! Natalie and Teresa made a great room, but it was kind of over accessorized, which is why they weren’t top. They are both in, though. Kerry and Shazia’s room was beautiful and functional, but boring. They are safe. That leaves Preston and Ondine, and Robert and Jennifer.

Jonathan tells Robert and Jennifer’s space was a buzzkill. Jennifer tells them they couldn’t agree on what to do, and that her suggestions were “met with resistance”. She says Robert didn’t like some things and then that would be the end of it. He says that she didn’t have any direction except for a color, and then when she pulled colors, they didn’t match the colors she had told him. Kelly says that’s too bad they didn’t work together with only two of them, because in real life they’d have to work in teams all the time. Jonathan thinks that even though they divided the space in half, neither of them brought it. Preston thinks their space was cohesive, but Margaret didn’t think anything was going on. Preston reminds everyone that there was a lot of practicality in their design, but no one was excited and Jonathan did hate the baskets. He tells them that Eddie and Andrea’s room was practical but also exciting, and then Jonathan calls it and says it’s a dorm room.

Ondine and Preston’s room had horrid styling, like they were propping the room for a movie. They were both to blame for that. Jennifer and Robert could both do better work. They also are both to blame, but Robert is more experienced and probably was more articulate. Jonathan calls them “petulant” and I am glad for the vocabulary.

Preston and Ondine cooperated, but their space felt disjointed. Jennifer and Robert “failed to address any of the basic tenets of good design.” Ouch. Jennifer is out. Robert nods and looks smug. Then India calls on Robert and says that even though he is more experienced, he was also to blame. Then she sends him home too. Ooo! I rewound to watch his reaction twice. He seems to be calm about it. Jennifer is disappointed too. She says architecture isn’t as frilly.

Next week: Project Runway! I think they’re designing display windows. I see Sweet P, Santino, Andrae, Daniel Franco, possibly Jeffrey. Santino is pretty calm in the clips they have, but Andrae is still drama.


zeppo said...

You don't know me and please forgive my barging into your blog like this, but I was actually googling "Top Design-Is Natalie that stupid" and found this.

I nearly went through the TV screen and pinched her head off for the Hiroshima comment.

Polgarra said...

I have read your Top Chef and Project Runway Blogs for 2 years so I am excited to see you are blogging Top Design. I am excited about this season cause I bought a house since last season so I am excited to learn more about design.

And Natalie is one of those Delta Delta Delta Girls that thinks they are 'like so totally clever and like always thinks of the funniest things' while the rest of us want to poke our ears out. Or maybe I am just projecting after dealing with annoying people all week.

Toyouke said...

Oh, no, I think you're both right. Natalie is pretty annoying. Actually, I think Teresa was right when she said that Natalie was entertaining. If she just spent all day saying stupid things, at some point I would probably have to laugh at them just to keep from going insane.