Monday, September 29, 2008

TAR13, Recap Leg 1, 9/29/08

Kmanpat, whom you might remember from my other recaps, also writes recaps of his own. Specifically "The Amazing Race". Read and enjoy! (click for recap)

Welcome to Leg 1! We’re back to TAR after a hiatus, which, in my opinion, was a bit too long. But it’s the same old, same old, as we have careening! Los Angeles! The top of some random building! And PHIL, looking oh so dapper in his jacket and jeans. Oh Phil, how I’ve missed thee. Let’s meet the teams as they arrive at the Los Angeles Coliseum, the only stadium in the world to host TWO, count them TWO, Olympic Games! (1932 and 1984, BTW). And they are in “classic” cars.

Toni and Dallas, AKA the Mother/Son team, are from Northern California. Toni has been a single mom all of Dallas’ life, and he’s turned into a handsome, strong young man. (Kmanpat: “Yes, he has.” Toyouke: “WE’re two minutes in and you’re already drooling. Stop that.”)

Nick and Starr, AKA Team HSM!, are from New York and Texas, respectively, and are brother and sister. They “get whatever they want”. Hmm, Ryan and Sharpay are going to be fun to watch. (Kmanpat: “Ooh, jazz squares! Everyone likes a good jazz square!”)

Ken and Tina, AKA Mom and Dad Evans, are a separated couple from Tampa, FL, and are using the race to save the marriage because Ken cheated on Tina. And we ALL know that after six emmys, marriages are SO not saved by the Amazing Race.

Aja and Ty, AKA Long Distance, are dating long distance, but they were made for each other. RIGHT.

Marisa and Brooke, AKA Blondies, are southern belles from South Carolina, whose interests are fashion and cupcakes. (Kmanpat: “I enjoy those things too, but I’m, like, such as, intelligent.”)

Andrew and Dan, AKA Team Superbad, are frat brothers from Phoenix AZ. Andrew: “We like parties, girls and booze.” Dan: “The only six pack we have is the beer we carry.” They could be really awesome or really annoying.

Anthony and Stephanie, AKA Team Commitment, are from Los Angeles, she wants to get married, he’s not sure. Blah, blah, BLAH! This was the exact comment I made about Lorena and Jason last season, and I’m not changing it. Because it hasn’t changed.

Anita and Arthur, AKA Old Hippies, are beekeepers from Fall Creek OR. And they are old hippies, if you hadn’t noticed.

Kelly and Christy, AKA Team Divorcée, are best friends from Texas. And that’s pretty much it, moving on.

Terence and Sarah, AKA Team Asshat, are newly dating from New York. Terence is a “free spirit”. (Toyouke: “And I’m going to have to listen to his free spirit all season. Not going to be fun.”)

Mark and Bill, AKA The Comic Book Geeks, are best friends from San Diego CA. They believe that The Amazing Race is the ultimate game on the world’s biggest gameboard. I’d tend to agree.

The camera careens to the stadium where the teams are standing where Phil gives his standard speech. There will be eleven legs where each team will get a “small amount of cash” and that eight of the pit stops are elimination points. We have our first eyebrow pop, and Phil tells them that their first clue is on their bags. They are to run up the stairs and get in a marked car to drive themselves to the airport, and the first team to finish will win ONE MILLION DOLLARS (US$1000000)! Then oh so sexy Phil does his standard patter: “Ready? The world is waiting for you. Good luck, travel safe. GO!” Who will be eliminated . . . tonight?

Los Angeles, California

Nick/Starr (1st)
Clue: Fly to Salvador, Brazil! You may take one of two flights. Once you arrive, travel by taxi to O Rei Do Pernil, a sandwich shop in Salvador.

Terence/Sarah (2nd)
Andrew/Dan (3rd)
Toni/Dallas (4th)

And then everyone else follows behind.

There is much car chasing, passing, and yelling. Lots of teams are turning right instead of left, asking for directions, and getting lost. Cue the Rattlesnakes of Discontent! (Rattlesnakes: *shakes tails*) Teams arrive at Los Angeles International Airport in the following order:

– who get in the wrong lane and don’t go to Park One right away.

Teams choose flights to Salvador. Teams run for the American Airlines counter, since this flight leaves and arrives first. However, (and Aja points this out), you need to be at the MARKED counter, which everyone obviously doesn’t do. Thus, the flights shake down like this:

Flight 1: American Airlines
1) Mark/Bill
2) Ken/Tina
3) Terence/Sarah
4) Nick/Starr
5) Aja/Ty
6) Kelly/Christy

Flight 2: United Airlines
1) Andrew/Dan
2) Toni / Dallas
3) Anita / Arthur
4) Marisa / Brooke
5) Anthony / Stephanie

Mr. and Mrs. Evans (Ken and Tina) now make an alliance with their kids, Ryan and Sharpay (Nick and Starr), and they do a giant musical number in the airport!

The Amazing Yellow and Orange Lines take us from Los Angeles, while the American Airlines flight takes a swing by Rio de Janiero (shout out, TAR2!) and United Airlines swings by São Paolo (woo, TAR9!). But when the American Airlines flight lands at Rio, it has difficulty getting back in the air. So, teams arrive in Salvador in the following order:

1- Mark/Bill
2- Kelly/Christy
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Ken/Tina
5- Nick/Starr
6- Aja/Ty
7- Toni/Dallas
8- Andrew/Dan
9- Anita/Arthur
10- Marisa/Brooke
11- Anthony/Stephanie

Teams take taxis to O Rei Do Pernil. Then teams arrive in the following order:

1- Mark/Bill
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Nick/Starr
4- Ken/Tina
5- Aja/Ty
6- Kelly/Christy
7- Andrew/Dan
8- Anita/Arthur
9- Toni/Dallas
10- Marisa/Brooke
11- Anthony/Stephanie

When they arrive, teams must choose a vending cart and drive it through the streets of Salvador to the Plaza of Praça da Sé. They then must find Indio to get their next clue. And ride a funicular!

Teams find Indio in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Mark/Bill
– Bill: “This is like driving the world’s worst shopping cart.”
3- Nick/Starr
4- Ken/Tina
5- Aja/Ty
6- Kelly/Christy
7- Andrew/Dan
8- Anita/Arthur
9- Toni/Dallas
10- Anthony/Stephanie
11- Marisa/Brooke

Teams are now instructed to travel by taxi to 19 Batalhão de Caçadores, which is a Brazilian military base. Teams will sign up there for their departures the next morning. Teams arrive at the base in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah
2- Nick/Starr
3- Mark/Bill
4- Ken/Tina
5- Aja/Ty
6- Kelly/Christy
7- Andrew/Dan
8- Anita/Arthur
9- Toni/Dallas
10- Anthony/Stephanie
11- Marisa/Brooke

Teams must now sign the book that allows them to get their departure time for the next morning.

Teams have pulled their morning departure times in the following order:

9:00 am
1) Terence/Sarah
2) Nick/Starr
3) Mark/Bill
4) Ken/Tina

9:30 am
1) Aja/Ty
2) Kelly/Christy
3) Andrew/Dan

9:45 am
1) Anita/Arthur
2) Toni/Dallas
3) Anthony/Stephanie
4) Marisa/Brooke

Teams eat, sleep and mingle at the provided lodgings (which are army tents with mosquito nets), in preparation for the next morning. Sarah spends her evening talking with teams, which royally pisses off Terence (“This should be all about me!” Kmanpat: “Hmm, that sounds familiar.”). And Dallas is walking around topless. He can keep doing that.

Time lapse, it’s morning, and Phil reminds us the order of departure.

Teams are now instructed to take a taxi to the Pelourinho, the historic center of Salvador, and find the church of San Fransisco.

Teams eventually find taxis and arrive at the church in the following order:

1- Terence/Sarah – who go inside the church to look for the clue box. Cue the Amazing Editors, as Terence complains about Sarah running too fast.
2- Mark/Bill – who also miss the clue box.
3- Nick/Starr – who also miss the clue box.
4- Ken/Tina
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Andrew/Dan
7- Aja/Ty
8- Toni/Dallas
9- Marisa/Brooke
10- Anthony/Stephanie
11- Anita/Arthur

And teams come to the first detour.

Hard Way Up OR Soft Way Down

*Hard Way Up: Teams must walk to the Escaderia do Passo and make a spiritual pledge to climb up the staircase on their hands and knees. Once at the top, they must answer a question correctly (“How many steps have you climbed?” (53)) in order to get their next clue.
*Soft Way Down: Teams must find the outdoor Lacerda Elevator and use the service staris to climb to the top. Once their, teams must climb down a 240 foot cargo net, but only three teams may be on the net at any time. Once at the bottom, teams can get their clue.

1-Nick/Starr choose Soft Way Down
2- Ken/Tina choose Soft Way Down
3- Mark/Bill choose Soft Way Down
4- Terence/Sarah choose Soft Way Down
5- Kelly/Christy choose Soft Way Down
6- Toni/Dallas choose Soft Way Down
7- Andrew/Dan choose Hard Way Up
8- Aja/Ty choose Soft Way Down
9- Marisa/Brooke choose Soft Way Down
10- Anthony/Stephanie choose Soft Way Down
11 – Anita/Arthur choose Soft Way Down

After much climbing, teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Ken/Tina
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Mark/Bill
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Toni/Dallas
7- Aja/Ty
8- Marisa/Brooke
9- Anthony/Stephanie
10- Andrew/Dan
– who do the challenge twice because no one thought to count stairs.
11- Anita/Arthur

Teams must now get themselves to the PIT STOP, the Forte São Marcelo in the nearby bay. This is the first pit stop in a racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive WILL be eliminated!

1-Nick/Starr – Really? Sweet! They win a romantic trip for two to Belize. Which, I don’t think they need a romantic trip. . . (Nick: “We knew we were going to Bop to the Top!”)
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Toni/Dallas
7- Andrew/Dan
8- Aja/Ty
9- Anthony/Stephanie
10- Marisa/Brooke
11- Anita/Arthur

And Anita and Arthur are eliminated. Which is sad, because they could have been AWESOME.

1st – Nick/Starr
2nd – Ken/Tina
3rd – Terence/Sarah
4th – Mark/Bill
5th – Kelly/Christy
6th – Toni/Dallas
7th – Andrew/Dan
8th – Aja/Ty
9th – Anthony/Stephanie
10th – Marisa/Brooke

Next week: We continue to galavant through Brazil. Mark and Bill try to get Mr. and Mrs. Evans to adopt them too. Who do you think you are? Troy Bolton, you are not. And The Evans Family Alliance upsets the Asshats in the best soundbite: Terence: “You can’t have an alliance. You’re two teams, not one team.” Sarah: “And they didn’t even say hi to us!” Oh, this is going to be interesting. Until next time. . .

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