TAR16, Recap Leg 12, 5/9/10

Welcome to Leg 12! Last time, on I’m Huge, Like Everything Else, teams made their way around Singapore after much racing, slipping, firing, crashing, soaring, paradising and U-Turning. This leaves us with two pairs of very likeable brothers and one pair of not so likeable models racing to the finish line. Who will be the winners of TAR16? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
2nd – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
3rd – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!

Shanghai Science and Technology Museum, Shanghai, China

2:37 AM Brent/Caite (1st)
Clue: Fly 6000 miles to your FINAL DESTINATION CITY, San Francisco, California, USA! Once there, go to the Presidio and find Battery Godfrey overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge.

3:11 AM Jet/Cord (2nd) – Cord: "This is the Super Bowl of the Amazing Race"? (Toyouke: “Huh?”)
6:00 AM Dan/Jordan (3rd) – Jordan: “I hear San Francisco is very gay friendly.” (Toyouke: “Woah, they're really behind.”)

Teams arrive at Pudong International Airport in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Dan/Jordan

When teams arrive, they find the marked counter for their United Airlines flight CA8858 to San Francisco. But when the brothers arrive, they place their bags behind Brent and Caite instead of behind Jet and Cord. This allows them to get tickets ahead of the cowboys, which they think is a dirty move, but really, after TAR7 and the Uchenna/Joyce miracle, I don’t think the race is ever going to cause a team to be left behind again if they are that close.

Once on the plane, the Amazing Red Line takes teams across the Pacific to San Francisco. En route, Dan makes friends with the flight attendants, whom he talks into getting two first class seats. Per the rules of the race, provided that they still only pay business fare for their flight, they can accept a free upgrade. And what an upgrade it is! (Toyouke: “I do have to give them points for moving up to first class.”)

Teams arrive in San Francisco in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Brent/Caite
3- Jet/Cord - Cord: “It’s on like Donkey Kong!” (Toyouke: “Woo! Donkey Kong!”)

Teams take taxis to Battery Godfrey and get their clue in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite – who ended up with a non-English speaking cab driver. Brent: “Why are we in America and no one here speaks English?”

When teams arrive, they get the following riddle: “I was built in 1933. I’m 210 feet tall. My insides are lined with murals painted by 26 different artists. What am I?” Teams are then supposed to figure out this is the Coit Tower on top of Telegraph Hill. (Toyouke: “Real clue clue! And sadly, I've never been in Coit Tower so I wouldn't know what they're talking about.” Kmanpat: “I’ve been there! I have pictures.”) Teams travel and arrive at the tower in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan – who find out their information from a biker. Jordan: “Bike riders are smart. That’s a general rule.” Got it, bro.
2- Jet/Cord – who know exactly where the tower is because they bought and read a San Francisco guide book in Shanghai. (Toyouke: “Eee! Buying a guidebook! People are finally learning.” Kmanpat: “Took 16 seasons. . .”)
3- Brent/Caite – who are still yelling at their cab driver to speak English. Sigh. (Toyouke: “It takes real talent to be an Ugly American WHEN YOU ARE IN AMERICA.”)

And teams arrive at the eleventh and final roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
*no question shown*
In this roadblock, one team member must use an ascender and climb up Coit Tower vertically. Once at the top, teams get their clue and descend back to the bottom.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Dan
2- Cord
3- Brent

After much ascending, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite

Teams are then instructed to travel to the Yoda Fountain. Teams must then realize that this can be found at Lucasfilm in the Industrial Light and Magic Complex. (Auburnium0513: “Yoda fountain on the Presidio? Um, no. “) Teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite

Teams are now instructed to join forces with ILM. (Toyouke: “DUDE. DARTH VADER AND STORMTROOPERS. “ Auburnium0513: “As kind of intimidating as it would be, it would still be really cool to be escorted by Stormtroopers.”) Teams split up and one person becomes the searcher and the other the director. The searcher puts on a motion capture suit and the director guides them through a virtual world in order to get the next clue.

SEARCHERS: Jordan, Jet, Caite
DIRECTORS: Dan, Cord, Brent

Cord starts shouting random commands as soon as he shows up, confusing Dan, Jordan, and Jet. (Auburnium0513: “Good job messing with them as revenge! That was priceless! “)Jordan: “I’m putting on a suit with balls on it!” Cord: “I’m gonna have the Star Wars guys take you out!” (Toyouke: “Jet's avatar has a cowboy hat. Best. Task. EVER.” Auburnium0513: “Slide to the left? That sounds like you're about to start the Cha-cha Slide!”)

Teams complete the ILM Task in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite – and Brent discovers that Caite left the Amazing Fanny Pack behind. Well, that’s that. (Auburnium0513: “What the hell?? YOU NEVER LET GO OF THE AMAZING FANNY PACK!!!”)

Teams read the clue that is circling the VR character at the end of the video game to find that they need to travel to the Tonga Room, find a trunk and take it and open it at their next destination. (Toyouke: “I have never heard of The Tonga Room in my life.”)

Teams arrive at the Tonga Room in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite

Teams get their trunks and are to find the sticker on top that tells them to travel to the Great American Music Hall. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite

Once teams arrive, the final task begins.

FINAL TASK:

Teams open the trunks from The Tonga Room to find 11 psychedelic posters. Eight of them have eliminated teams on them and three represent non-elimination legs. Teams must correctly place the posters on the wall in leg order (Dana/Adrian, Jody/Shannon, Monique/Shawne, Non-Elim, Joe/Heidi, Jordan/Jeff, Non-Elim, Steve/Allie, Carol/Brandy, Non-Elim, Louie/Michael) in order to receive their final clue from the roadie.

Teams complete the task in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan – And Jordan is my new favorite person because HE KNEW THAT A FINAL TASK WAS COMING AND PREPARED FOR IT! As he whips out his list of eliminated contestants, they whip through the task. (Toyouke: “Ohhh, I just realized Jordan is all over this shit. That is like, the fastest anyone has ever finished the final task, I think.”)

2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite – (Auburnium0513: “I wonder how bad Brent and Caite struggled with the race recall task.”)

Teams are now instructed to “jump right over to blank” and teams are to guess that the final destination is Candlestick Park, the FINISH LINE of The Amazing Race 16.

1- Dan/Jordan – (Toyouke: “Well I really wanted the cowboys to win but I'm good with this too. Especially since they started celebrating when they came out of the tunnel and saw that no one was up there with Phil yet.”)
2- Jet/Cord
3- Brent/Caite

23 days, 5 continents, 40000 miles, Dan and Jordan, you are the winners of The Amazing Race 16! YAY! This probably has to be one of the most satisfying finishes ever. On a side note, Caite apologizes to the lesbians, and Brandy shoots her down. Ouch. (Toyouke: “Ooo...Like she was going to mean her apology anyway. But it would have been better to let her pretend to apologize before going off on her.” Auburnium0513: “Wow, those claws came out! This is the nastiest finish line that I can remember.”)

ORDER NOW:
1st – Dan/Jordan
2nd – Jet/Cord
3rd – Brent/Caite
4th – Louis/Michael
5th – Carol/Brandy
6th – Steve/Allie
7th – Jordan/Jeff
8th – Joe/Heidi
9th – Monique/Shawne
10th – Jody/Shannon
11th – Dana/Adrian

Next season: Well, I know there is one. TAR 17 will probably start in September, so we’ll see you then! Clicky clicky

TAR16, Recap Leg 11, 5/2/10

Welcome to Leg 11! Last time, on Smoking Will Stunt Your Growth, teams flew from Singapore to Shanghai. Jet was a noodle master, and Jordan’s got tangled. We saw the first ever double roadblock leg. And it was Louie and Michael who were not eliminated in the final non-elimination leg, and now face a Speed Bump soon. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
2nd – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
3rd – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!
4th – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock

Shanghai Science and Technology Museum, Shanghai, China

8:02 AM Jet/Cord (1st)
Clue: Make your way to the Garden Bridge. You have $22 for this leg of the race.

What racers don’t know is that the Chinese don’t know the bridge as Garden Bridge, but as Wàibáidù Qiào. This makes things fun for the racers.

Cord talks about how he had his skull crushed by a hoof in 2004. Ouch. Good thing hot cowboy is still alive to be on my television screen.

8:36 AM Brent/Caite (2nd) – Caite can’t understand why people still make fun of her three years after she was on the Miss Teen USA pageant for her answer in the interview portion. (Toyouke: “Making the final 3 will not make people forget you are Miss The Iraq, Like Such As.”) Well, I know that CBS didn’t show it again, but let me load this up . . .ok, yup, she’s still an idiot. Youtube FTW!
8:53 AM Dan/Jordan (3rd) – Dan was very set on helping his brother fulfill his dream. And now he wants to win. Bad. Oh, this could get fun.
11:00 AM Louie/Michael (4th) – They never quit, apparently.

Teams find taxis and arrive at the Garden Bridge in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite – who found a local who looked it up on her cell phone internet.
2- Jet/Cord – who had their taxi driver call the dispatch to find the information
3- Louie/Michael – who help by calling a translation service. (Toyouke: “There's a translation service in Shanghai? Awesome!”)
4- Dan/Jordan – who decide that they are going to wait for the team behind them that is leaving TWO AND A HALF HOURS after them and get help that way. Cute but stupid boys. Is there no end? (Toyouke: “Ouch. That is a very long time to wander around. I don't know that your strategy of "let's wait for the last place team and beat them later" is such a good idea.”)

Once at the bridge, teams are instructed to find Longhua Temple, but they must not take a taxi in order to get there. (Toyouke: “Excellent, public transportation.”) Teams arrive at the temple in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite – who found the place thanks to Caite’s map reading. (Toyouke: “No one said you couldn't read a map. They said you were an idiot.”)
2- Jet/Cord – (Toyouke: “Did they just walk by Brent? Hee!”)
3- Louie/Michael
4- Dan/Jordan – (Toyouke: “Jordan and Dan haven't had the best strategy today. They needed to get their driver to listen to the person on the phone. Or something.”)

When they arrive, Louie and Michael find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this, the third of three speed bumps, teams must find the large incense burner at the Longhua Temple complex. Team members must then toss one coin each into the top window of the burner in order to be able to return to the race.

Really? No going away? No physical task? Throw a COIN? *Sigh*

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Louie/Michael

They throw their coins quickly and return to the task at hand: the tenth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who thinks they can sum up Buddha?
In this roadblock, one team member must count golden statues. Once they come up with the correct sum (523), teams can check with the monk to get their next clue. If they are wrong, they must wait ten minutes before trying again.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Caite – who takes it to prove she’s smart. And then takes four tries. (Toyouke: “OK, counting is not that strenuous of an activity. I mean, people fail at it, but counting correctly will not make up for harping on one comment one person made a month ago. Especially when you count wrong.”)
2- Jet
3- Dan
4- Louie – who takes two tries.

After much Buddha counting, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Louie/Michael

Teams are then instructed to choose a motorcycle from a select group and take a ride to Yuyuan Gardens and search for the next clue. Teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite
3- Dan/Jordan – Jordan: “I got to wear these cool goggles and gloves, and I got to hold this strange Chinese man. Oh, yeah, I kinda liked that.” Oh yes, honey, you and me both.
4- Louie/Michael

Teams now get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Pork Chops OR Pork Dumplings
*Pork Chops: Teams must travel to Art Stone and find two chops (name stamps) in the store. Each shop will have one of the team members names on it and the picture of a pig. Once both are found, the owner gives them their next clue.
*Pork Dumplings: Teams must travel to a restaurant and pick up ten orders of dumplings, deliver them somewhere, and return to get their next clue. Not that it matters, because no one delivers dumplings.

(Toyouke: “Both of these Detours sound long and annoying and luck-based.”)

1-Jet/Cord choose Pork Chops – (Toyouke: “Aww...I wanted Jet to hide Brent's chop.”)
2-Brent/Caite choose Pork Chops – Brent really has to pee, and Caite won’t let him. Whatever. Caite: “These things are big like you.” Brent: “I know, I’m huge like everything else.”
3-Dan/Jordan choose Pork Chops
4-Louie/Michael choose Pork Chops – Louie: “I’m leaving no stone unturned.” *rimshot*

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord – (Auburnium0513: “Did he just say "muy rapido" in Shanghai?”)
3- Dan/Jordan – (Toyouke: “Dan's getting pretty competitive for someone who is only on the race to make their partner's dream come true.”)
4- Louie/Michael

Teams are now instructed to travel to the Huangpu River and find the Riverside Promenade. This is the PIT STOP of the eleventh leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in WILL be eliminated.

1- Brent/Caite – and they win a luxury trip to Coastal Spain to see Seville and Cadiz. Not that they really know where that is. (Toyouke: “You have proved nothing except that you are a whiny beauty queen who can't tolerate other people joking about her but doesn't see the irony of making the same comments yourself. I hope you fail in the last leg. “) Oh, and they are checked in by Bao Xishua, the world’s tallest man. (Toyouke: “WTF is with this Guiness Book of World Records nonsense??”)
2- Jet/Cord
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Louie/Michael

And Louie and Michael are eliminated. But they are still good friends and are happy to have raced with each other.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Brent/Caite
2nd – Jet/Cord
3rd – Dan/Jordan

Next week: Final Leg! San Francisco! Scaling Coit Tower! Who will win? (Toyouke: “Caite has not changed my mind about her. Virtual Reality? Really? Weak. Although, I do enjoy Cord peeking around the corner to make fun of Jordan. It's just pwning n00bs on PS3.”) Until next time! Clicky clicky

TAR16, Recap Leg 10, 4/25/10

Welcome to Leg 10! Last time, on If You Fall And Die, I Love You, teams took a fast train to Singapore. Brent and Caite (well, Caite) is like, such as, angry at the lesbians for making fun of The Team Like The Iraq Such As, and u-turned them. (Toyouke: “Making fun of Caite's tiara is not "pushing things too far." But thanks for letting us know how things are, PROBST.”) This led to their demise and saw them eliminated, leaving Caite as the final female racing. (Toyouke: “YOU are not capable of anything. Your BOYFRIEND and other people's stupidity have helped you. Caite being the last girl left makes me sad.”) This means with three legs left, we have an elim, a non-elim, and the finish line leg. Who will be eliminated. . . next?(click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!
2nd – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
3rd – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
4th – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock

Marina Barrage, Singapore, Singapore

4:47 PM Dan/Jordan (1st)
Clue: Fly 2300 miles to Shanghai China! Once you arrive, travel by taxi to Zhujiajiao, the Venice of China, and take one of the reserved boats to the next clue.

(Auburnium0513: “Gesundheit, Phil!”)

Jordan talks about how he loves his brother more for racing with him across the world. Aw.

6:18 PM Brent/Caite (2nd) – Caite apologizes to the Lesbians for using the U-Turn. Not that she means it. (Auburnium0513: “Shows all them haters out there? Wow, Caite, wow. You are WAY too white for that statement.”)
7:04 PM Jet/Cord (3rd) – and we learn that Jet’s wife just had a daughter (Kmanpat: “Benny, who is Jet’s?”) and Cord just got engaged. (Auburnium0513: “Damn, they are both taken? That makes me sad.” Kmanpat: “No, Jet just has a little girl. He could be a baby daddy. Unlikely though.”) And if you were listening very carefully at 8:05 EDT, you heard thousands of men’s and women’s hearts breaking.
7:35 PM Louie/Michael (4th) – Michael says their underdogs.

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Brent/Caite
3- Jet/Cord
4- Louie/Michael

Dan finds the first flight to China on China Eastern is at 12:05 AM. Which means everyone goes and hangs out at McDonalds in the airport. In the meantime, Caite tells her joyous story of the U-Turn. Louie: “Did you put on your tiara?” (Toyouke: “"I'm the only girl left! Watch me clap like a cheerleader! But don't make fun of my tiara!") Now, what irritates me about this line is that it’s very similar to the one the Lesbians used, and Caite is laughing at it hysterically. If that was a vindictive u-turn, then that’s really annoying behavior.

The Amazing Red Line flies to Shanghai and teams get taxis in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Dan/Jordan
3- Brent/Caite
4- Louie/Michael

Teams taxi and arrive at Zhujiajiao and find the boats in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Dan/Jordan – who got a bad taxi driver as did. . .
4- Louie/Michael

Teams then take the boats they choose and take them to the clue box. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord – Jet: “That was really tranquil.” Cord: “What’s that?” (Toyouke: “Oh Cord. You don't know what "tranquil" means?” Auburnium0513: “Aww, you don't know the word tranquil? That also makes me sad.”)
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Louie/Michael

And teams come to the ninth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who wants to get their hands on some extra dough?
In this roadblock, one team member must watch a noodle making demonstration and make 1 kilogram of noodles by hand using the traditional method. Once the chef approves the noodles, teams get their clue from (the late) He Pingping, the world’s shortest man and heaviest chain smoker.

(Toyouke: “Why is the World's Shortest Man involved in this Roadblock?”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Caite
2- Jet – (Toyouke: “I love Cord wearing his brother's hat on top of his own. I'm glad someone is checking their noodles.”)
3- Jordan – “Jet is magic with his hands.” (Toyouke: “I'll bet he is.”) And apparently this distracted him enough, because he had an awful time completing this Roadblock. So Dan goes and hugs him. (Auburnium0513: “Now THAT is a good and supportive brother! That's how you should treat your teammate when they are getting frustrated with a Roadblock.”)
4- Louie – “This is like something out of Lucille Ball.”

After much noodle making and chain smoking, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite – Caite: “Pingping was adorable!” (Auburnium0513: “He was so adorable? That's really condescending, Caite. He's a grown man.” Kmanpat: “Well, 21. Unfortunately the verb is now was.”)
3- Louie/Michael
4- Dan/Jordan – Dan: “You smell like noodles.”

Teams are then instructed to travel to the Shanghai Fashion District. Teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite
3- Louie/Michael
4- Dan/Jordan

Teams are instructed to go into the Fashion House, located next to the clue box, and work together to choose a model and a clothing design, find the articles of clothing to make the design, and then having the model put them on. If the team is correct, the designer will give them their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Oo, how good would we be in dressing models?”)

Teams design and get their clues in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord – Cord: “I’d take bull riding over clothing design.” Although, Cord did most of the designing.
2- Brent/Caite – Caite: “Do you need my tiara?” OK, now she’s making fun of herself. I want my lesbians back! (Toyouke: “Woman, do not joke about your tiara.”)
3- Louie/Michael – Louie: “We'd better hurry up, when Jordan gets here he's gonna catch us."
4- Dan/Jordan – and Jordan goes to town on this task, as predicted.

Teams are then instructed to take a taxi to Hongkou Football Stadium to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite
3- Louie/Michael – Michael: “Can we get some shooting? Kick a door in? Chase a crackhead?” (Toyouke: “Oh,yeah, "Chase a crackhead" would be a great task.”)
4- Dan/Jordan

And, in an unprecedented move by TPTB, teams come to the tenth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
*No Question Given*

In this roadblock, one team member must use a small picture to assemble a ninety-six card puzzle. Once it is assembled, the roadblocker should hand the cards in order over to the waiting crowd, who will then flip it over and reveal the section, row and seat number where the next clue is. Team members that completed the previous roadblock must sit out of the roadblock.

(Toyouke: “This is a weird Roadblock twist. Also a very long Roadblock. The wind is not cool.“)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Cord – who combats the wind by taking his clothes off. (Toyouke: “Cord is stripping down to hold down his tiles. Hee.”) (Section 20, Row 16, Seat 33)
2- Brent – (Toyouke: “Maybe Brent will have a Colin-level meltdown. “) (Section 3, Row 10, Seat 26)
3- Michael - (Section 17, Row 17, Seat 27)
4- Dan - (Section 8, Row 2, Seat 5)

After much puzzle solving, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord – (Toyouke: “I love watching Cord jump those railings. Yum. What can I say? I'm easy.”)
2- Brent/Caite
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Louie/Michael

Teams are now instructed to travel by Metro to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum. This is the PIT STOP of the tenth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in MAY be eliminated.

1- Jet/Cord – and they win a luxury trip to Alaska, including a wildlife cruise and glaciers.
2- Brent/Caite
3- Dan/Jordan – Jordan: "I like hugs." (Kmanpat: “So do I. Plant one here, boy.”)
4- Louie/Michael

And Louie and Michael are not eliminated, and find the third of three non-elimination legs, and the detectives will have to complete a Speed Bump on the next leg.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jet/Cord
2nd – Brent/Caite
3rd – Dan/Jordan
4th – Louie/Michael

Next week: Teams race through Shanghai! Everyone freaks out en route to the final three. (Toyouke: “Or maybe Daniel will have the Colin-level meltdown.”) Until next time!

Clicky clicky

Project Runway 4/22/10--"Reunion" summary

It’s reunion time! Last season we didn’t even get one, and this season they’re making it part of the models’ show. It’s only half an hour and there is no Andy Cohen. So that’s two things going for it. (click for more)

Tim is hosting with Nina and not with Heidi. I wonder what that was about? They never explain it. They congratulate Seth Aaron, who is still pretty excited. His hair is really tall. Tim turns to Emilio and says something about how Emilio thought he would win, and Emilio just stares at him before saying “Yes.” He then continues to say he was shocked the judges never said they didn’t like his collection, but he still didn’t win. I guess he thought all the praise meant he should win. Nina explains that his show was more of a “line” then a “collection”. He says he respects that and then they drop it.

Anthony is still full of sound bites and of course people recognize him! What a silly question Nina! One of the models got recognized but the woman was just like “You look like that girl on that show!” Ping tells a weird story that seems to imply she forgot she was on TV and that people would recognize her.

Montage of designers switching models as if it’s a crime. Amy steals Emilio’s model, so he steals hers back and makes a crack that Amy must not appreciate her. Jonathan makes the comment that the judges don’t like anything he puts on his model so he’s switching models. Tim is like, why did you guys switch it up all the time? Jonathan turns to apologize to his model he ditched and says he wanted to stay in the competition and nothing was working. Emilio was surprised that Amy stole his model, so he said he took Amy’s model “to let Amy know that, I know what you’re doing.” Amy’s like, what was I doing? Plus then he claims his comment wasn’t personal, he just wanted to make the point to everyone that he knew what she was doing. Which apparently was to steal a good model, which isn’t all that horrible. They make his poor model talk about the stupid hot pink string bikini, and Emilio admits she kept him from losing. So why did he give up Holly later? Emilio gets offended and says he didn’t dump her, except…he was picking models and he picked someone else. He claims that he felt horrible because when he had her, everyone wanted her, but the minute she was free no one took advantage of that.

Favorite challenge? Mila and Jay both liked the hardware store challenge. Out of nowhere, Maya says she was surprised Jay won that challenge, because he had trash bags and they have been done a lot. Yeah, but they didn’t look like trash bags and everyone thought they were leather. Jay points that out to her and Nina backs him up. Jay then says he wanted his model to look like Mila and Maya: “bitchy”. Well that was unnecessary. Everyone laughs though.

Nina asks the models what outfit they wish they had worn. One girl says she wished she’d picked Amy during the burlap challenge because she really liked Amy’s dress. Remember the models were the clients in that challenge and so got to pick out their designers. (I had to look it up.) Anthony is kind of insulted but acts like he’s not, saying he made her a dress she wanted. I guess she sounded like she was saying “I wish I didn’t pick Anthony”. Eh, he’s fine. I don’t think he really minded a lot.

Tim brings up the confessional interviews. They air a lot of commentary, but nothing new that we haven’t seen on the show. A model says Jay is boring, very LA or Miami, designing for tanned blonde girls. The Irish girl, the one that Jonathan ditched. Emilio claims he’s quiet but then bitches about Tim, and then Jesse and Ping. Anthony has some good sound bites. After the montage there is a lot of apologizing: Mila apologizes for implying her model was stupid for picking Anthony, Anthony apologizes for calling Mila a “petty 50 year old that doesn’t love herself” in the New York Post. Tim tries to point out the problem with Anthony’s comment, but he’s like, I said it, I apologized, I can’t give her a kidney. Heh. Anthony says Emilio is like an African-American version of Tim. Then Emilio tries to claim he doesn’t trash talk anyone. Sure. Tim calls him on it. Jay brings up the comment Cerri made. (Yeah, I looked up her name.) He says he does want to be in LA one day. She says she meant no offense, and if that’s where he wants to be and he does it perfectly, then fantastic, she just doesn’t like it. Jay’s response is “That’s why I would never hire models with bad teeth and thick legs.” There is shocked silence while Jay looks smug. Seriously? Everyone jumps on him and he’s like, well, I never worked with Cerri, and for her to not know my point of view is hurtful. She did know your point of view, she just said she didn’t like it. Nina points out that she didn’t insult him personally, and he tries to say it’s the same, but it’s not the same. Someone has to prompt him to apologize. We bring up Ping and Jesse, and she is still upset that he attacked her. They talk about it some, and it seems like the distance from the incident has helped because they both can discuss what went wrong. Ping says he attacked her personally, calling her a bitch. He apologizes sincerely, saying he uses that word off the cuff but he didn’t mean it in a negative way. I can see that. He just curses randomly and people who don’t know that’s how he is assume he means it.

We talk about Maya quitting. She had just graduated and felt she was not ready to go all the way. She needs to figure out more of where she is headed. Also she does regret that she could have gone to Bryant Park, but she’s going to do it on her own. They also talk to Seth Aaron’s model, who essentially gave up winning this show to take a DKNY job. They doubled her fee and she had bills to pay. Seth Aaron’s current model, the one who did win, is emotional about her because they’re friends. Nina says this group is one of the most talented ever. Jonathan loves that Nina is true to her opinions. Tim knows he can make comments that do not match the judges, but they are out of love. Aww.

Montage of Tim comments.

The end! Until next time, thanks for reading! Clicky clicky

Project Runway 4/22/10--"Finale pt. 2" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Tim told Seth Aaron to change everything, Emilio refused to listen to Tim about anything, and Jay lost everything and was eliminated right before Bryant Park. (click for more)

Everyone talks about how excited they are to be in the finale and there is some trash talking. Seth Aaron’s collection is called “glamorous Hot Topic” by Mila. I know some people who would be all over that. Emilio says Mila’s garments are beautifully made but are very “severe” and “demure”. She retaliates by saying she can see his collection in a boutique in Harlem in 1994. Oo…Mila wins that round. Seth Aaron says Emilio’s collection is “older”.

Tim time! Seth Aaron has 24 looks. Complete looks. Wow. He’s got some color, but is going for cleaner looks that hopefully are more sophisticated. Tim asks if they’ve seen some of Emilio’s looks before. Emilio points out that sometimes what Tim says and what the judges say are different. That’s true, and how much less hostility would there be for Emilio if he had started out saying that instead of “Tim’s not a woman so what does he know?” Mila has some styling issues; namely that she needs to have rougher, more edgy styling. Tim tells all of them he’s excited for tomorrow. Are they showing tomorrow? They have model casting today. That doesn’t seem like enough time at all. How will they have time to fit everyone? How will they have their makeup consultation with Collier Strong?

Model casting is not super interesting. It usually isn’t. Mila wants edgy and Emilio says that he wants “global” models or whatever, but his tone says “See how awesome I am because I have ethnic models!” I fully admit I don’t like Emilio and that may color my opinion. Oh, they are having makeup consults now. Well then.

Model fittings happen right away. Emilio is fixing things now that he’s seen them on women. Everyone is doing last minute stuff and talking about how much they’ve worked on this and this is their dream and so forth. That is all the work time we will get. I want some more.

In the morning, the alarm goes off at 2:40am. Seth Aaron greets the day with cursing, much as I would if I had to wake up that early. Everyone goes into the tent and stares at the runway. Seth Aaron makes snow angels while Emilio is like “We don’t have time for you!” Hee. They start dressing people and doing hair and makeup, and I see someone putting on nail polish. Isn’t that dangerous? Two hours before the show someone tells Mila 3 of her models aren’t there yet. She doesn’t know how to replace them, and Emilio is having the same problem. With an hour left the models still aren’t there. Tim tells them they are pulling alternates. Lots of futzing.

There are audience shots of Jay and Jonathan. I wonder when they put them in the audience? Guest judge is Faith Hill. OK then.

I am going to do like last season, and place a link to the collections. This time I am linking to Blogging Project Runway, which is an excellent blog that posts this recap and many like it (often funnier). They also have all the news you could want. Every time I try to post pictures myself the formatting gets all wonky. Seth Aaron is up first. He thanks his family and says he was inspired by 1940’s Russian military. I love the first red dress, but not the weird tights. Actually I like most of his stuff. Maybe not the black dress in the middle, with the red belt and the vinyl center flap things. Love the pants with the yellow plaid. And the last coat (the next to last outfit) is fantastic. That purple dress is weird and lumpy.

Mila is freaking out. She keeps it together to talk about her collection and her shadow inspiration. There is a lot of black and white, and a lot of stripes. I like the third look, the one on the Asian model with some purple. Other than that, I am dying for some color. There are little bits of purple but not all that much. I do still like the last dress, the silver one she showed the judges last episode.

Emilio says his collection is called “Color Me Badd”. I know, but I can’t spell it any other way. Oh man, that reference is almost 20 years old. Now I feel old. Anyway, back to Emilio. Under the first coat, the dress has a similar look to the second, red dress. The sleeves and neckline are pretty much the same. Under the red coat (the fourth look) is a one-shouldered tight sheath dress in the print that I believe is somehow his name. I don’t know, everything is like, black and primary colors except for that print, and the last dress doesn’t seem to go with everything else. I think I liked Seth Aaron’s the best.

Cue the montage of multiple people talking about which collection was the best. My favorite? Raven-Simone talking about how Emilio was “bringing back the 90’s”, which makes me think his collection title is intentional. (Kmanpat: “Oh girl I think I love ya/I'm always thinkin' of ya/I want ch-ya to know I do it all for love!”) I’m better with bringing back the 90’s instead of the 80’s.

Judgment time. Heidi and everyone say they are very proud. Seth Aaron wanted to show innovation but still be himself. Kors says that his clothes are beautiful and powerful. It’s luxurious but still young, and wearable. Nina says his clothes are more sophisticated. Faith Hill and Nina liked his black and white pieces. Heidi does point out that the last dress, the purple one, is questionable. Emilio talks about sportswear and color and proportion and wearability. He claims the name is because color can amp up a collection but maybe you want to be bad today. Faith loves the coats. Kors tells him that his collection is very commercial, but the least commercial thing, the gown at the end, is the best. And then he does point out that the gown doesn’t really go with the rest of the collection. Nina thought it was heavy on the tailoring and coats and didn’t have enough feminine pieces. Mila talks about shadows and dimensions and textures. Heidi likes the changes she made. Kors likes that she modernized the styling, and also anything shiny. Heidi and Faith want some of the pieces. They tell her to relax some because it helps.

Kors feels Mila’s show is a culmination of the entire season. She made some modern pieces and mixed textiles well. However, it wasn’t surprising. Heidi counters that Seth Aaron’s collection wasn’t surprising either, that it was obviously him. Kors was impressed it was so sophisticated, but he almost overworks pieces. Nina thinks he is a little braver than the others. Emilio’s collection was well done, but he went commercial instead of going editorial. Kors calls it a “line” instead of a “collection”. So what is important? Who said the most? Who said the most all season? Or who has business sense? Emilio wasn’t the most exciting, but his clothes were the most flattering.

Heidi praises everyone. They certainly are very nice to everyone today. I feel like they usually aren’t but I don’t remember. Mila is out. She’s glad for the experience. Seth Aaron wins! Yay! I didn’t think I cared, but I did. Emilio is really upset, but he says he’s created a brand which was his plan and he’s excited about the future. Seth Aaron is moved to tears and he tells his kids that hard work does pay off. He jumps around and is generally cute.

ETA: Here's the reunion show!
Clicky clicky

Project Runway 4/15/10--"Finale pt. 1" summary

Previously on Project Runway: there were about a million contestants, and then when Fashion Week rolled around, there were still 10 so the producers went “oh crap” and had that many decoys. Then Heidi must have offered to bail them out (they did have to pay for 10 collections), because they let the designers make her not one, but two dresses as challenges. Finally we were supposed to be down to three people, but then they decided to do a last minute challenge right before Bryant Park. Just like when they wanted to get rid of Chris March, but the guest judge thought he was awesome so they pretended to have a change of heart and they got rid of him later. Sometimes the producers don’t bother to hide what they’re doing. (click for more)

Heidi greets everyone for the last time on the runway, in some leopard print muumuu. Everyone gets $9000 and 4 months. Heidi makes it clear that only Mila and Jay are in danger of “not showing”. Emilio and Seth Aaron are automatically in, but Mila and Jay have to pick out three looks just before the show. Tim comes out to be proud and remind them they will have home visits. That’s the part where Tim pretends he likes to drive and be in the suburbs.

Mila says she must make sure she beats Jay. In the boy’s apartment, Seth Aaron shuts Jay in the closet. Yeah. Emilio is already talking about how he will beat everyone. Seth Aaron is also fairly confident.

Three months later (so that is one month before Fashion Week) Tim travels to Vancouver, WA, to visit Seth Aaron. He lives in a normal looking house. He’s done. No, really. He has 15 looks finished. His plan is to take 20 outfits to New York and edit it down to 10 when he gets there. Wow. He wants to not only win but “stomp” the competition. He has some fantastic coats, just like he’s been doing all competition. Tim tells him he could show all this stuff, and people would know what he was about and love it, but he won’t win. Tim says you have to surprise the judges. I guess…but then maybe the judges shouldn’t gush over his coats so much. Tim then tells him to “reconceptualize” the whole thing and he expects most of what’s done to go away. Seriously? With a month left? And 15 looks paid for? Normally I want everyone to listen to Tim but I don’t think this is a good idea. Then Tim does the thing where you say “I know you can do it, that’s why I expect so much from you” which is a thing I say to my students to guilt them into doing more work. Seth Aaron’s family is super cute. His wedding photos are so normal looking! Then they play Pictionary with Tim which is hilarious. He guesses “Fallopian tubes.” Then they make him get on a trampoline which is worth an Emmy I think. Better than Jay in a redneck wig brandishing a shotgun.

Back to New York for Emilio. They’re outside meeting Emilio’s brothers under a bridge. They praise him a lot and Emilio talks about how his parents were working class who wanted to give them a better life and they grew up in the South Bronx. Cue stock footage of the Bronx in the late 70’s. He brags about the birth of hip-hop as if he invented it. Emilio is about halfway finished with his collection. He starts in about how most people put a lot of black and gray into their fall lines but he is thinking about turquoise and red, and that’s together. I’m sorry, but he’s so arrogant it bugs me. I mean, I don’t have a problem with “everyone does it this way but I want to do it this way”, it’s just his tone says “everyone does it this way and they're morons so I’m doing it right.” He also has a dark chartreuse, and more print with his name on it. OH, jeez, and a gold cropped jacket that is painted or something. Tim says all the details get lost, and Emilio’s all, “I don’t design for the camera, I design for my clients.” If the judges don’t see your details, neither will your clients. Tim points this out. Emilio points out that he was very strong all season, like that matters. Tim is finally like, do whatever you want, but it’s old. Emilio interviews that last he checked, Tim doesn’t wear woman’s clothing so whatever.

Next up is Mila in L.A. There are three weeks left at this point. She says she’s not focusing on her three looks, she’s making a collection and she’ll just pull three awesome looks. Mila’s collection is about shadows, so it’s mostly black and white but also has eggplant. Tim points out that this will be a black and white collection, mostly, but that is Mila. She’s got a circular print but with sheer sleeves and shoulders. Tim says it’s headed for matronly and conservative. He’s really praising what she has much more than Seth Aaron or Emilio. Is that what really happened, I wonder? I went to see if I could find Tim’s blog but it hasn’t been updated yet. She talks about beating Jay, and now he is a “little shit”, which seems fairly harsh, but she goes on to say he’s annoying and she’s better. Tim gets to meet her parents and boyfriend. Tim points out the whole house is black and white. She even has a Dalmatian. She’s glad to have this chance to make her dreams come true.

Jay lives in San Francisco. W00t! He is taking inspiration from Japanese samurai. He has a skirt with black cut out sheer circles which is cool, so he needs a simpler top. He’s got a long coat with a peplum or something. Tim tells him this woman needs to have somewhere to go. Jay McCarroll’s clothes weren’t always things people could wear anywhere. This Jay has a jacket that Tim loves, with an obi style belt, but the sleeves are like, rings sewn together along one strip. Too gimmicky. Jay is pretty confident he can beat Mila, so he’s really thinking about what will beat Emilio and Seth Aaron. Jay takes him over to meet his parents who are cooking and seem somewhat starstruck. He has a similar story to Emilio: working class parents who were determined to make a better life for their children. There is also a random non-Filipino guy lurking around, which I think is Jay’s boyfriend probably, but we don’t meet him. He wants to pay his parents back, and he gets emotional about it. Aww.

Fashion week! Mila’s all thrilled. They have a very swank hotel suite. Jay thinks the judges will like his stuff more because he’s “current” and “innovative”. They’ve put Jay and Mila together, for maximum awkwardness. Jay points this out, that he’s been thinking about how to interact with her. She says she kind of keeps to herself, and they seem to kind of agree that they should at least be civil. As if they decided on their own to have a talk about their feelings. Seth Aaron shows up then to break the tension, saying he has changed up his collection and it’s nothing they’ve seen but is totally him. Emilio has also changed his collection up, proving he does listen to Tim sometimes. Magically, as if he heard his name, Tim shows up to the hotel and talks about how excited he is and that they’re two blocks from Bryant Park. Tomorrow it is time to work, so tonight they should relax. So let’s have some champagne!

The workroom only has three tables in it, like it would be such a pain in the ass to put up four tables and take one down later. Mila and Jay are showing today. Surprise! Everyone stares at Tim. They have three hours to fit models and do hair and makeup. Mila admits she hasn’t seen her clothes on people before. So…whoever wins this, will get direct feedback from the judges on their clothes. It didn’t matter before, but if I were Seth Aaron or Emilio I would be concerned. Of course, if I were Seth Aaron or Emilio I’d think I was the shit, so I probably wouldn’t care. Mila worries that Jay has color. He also has some leather shin guards that aren’t quite working right. I don’t think they’re zipping up. Emilio is helping Mila and Seth Aaron is helping Jay, which is a nice thing. Both Jay and Mila both cry about possibly not being able to show this collection. It loses something, knowing how many decoys they had and that they are in absolutely no danger of not showing their collection.

There is no guest judge today. Interesting. Less chance they can’t play favorites. Mila is up first. Her usual model comes out in a charcoal coat, loose and not fitted. There are darker square pockets. She opens it to show a sheath dress that has horizontal stripes on top, then a diagonal seam and a black skirt, with a vertical off-centered panel of black and white checks. It’s a lot going on. The net look is a loose coat with small black and white stripes that look weird on my TV. Underneath is a white shawl and white cuffs on something, another shirt maybe. The last look is a silver short dress, with a black collar. All fish scale sequins. The back of the skirt is slightly longer than the front. There is no color in any of the looks. It’s very Mila, but…I’m kind of bored.

Jay’s first look is a dark purple dress, fitted with a zipper all the way up the front. There are loops and stuff over her hips to exaggerate them. And half gloves, I think. The second look is a silver turtleneck with black loops over her shoulders (like he took loops of fabric and put them on her arms like water wings) and black pants with silver buttons all up the sides. When she turns around, you can see that the black is a shrug, and there are thin loops of fabric on the outside of her pants. Like she was wearing suspenders and she just let them fall alongside her legs. The last look has a very high collar and pockets. It’s a dark gray, and then red pants with black leather shin guards. The shin guards kind of look like high boots, but the collar is so high it almost hides her mouth. The collar is also in leather while the rest of the top is in cloth. Jay’s clothes are more interesting, but I’m still kind of blah about them.

Heidi likes Mila’s pieces and says she’d wear all of them because they’re simple with a twist. Kors says it’s tough when you have a look but you have to still surprise people. Everything is still very 60’s so he wants edgier makeup. Nina also wants more modern, and points out that if she ends up doing 6 collections a year she’ll have to do some color. Kors loves the half gloves and says that is edgy. They only have two fingers and a thumb on each hand, so most of the hand is exposed, which leaves room for some jewelry.

Heidi tells Jay he pumped up the volume. Kors likes all the work put into the clothes and he loves the black pants. Nina doesn’t really like the silver shirt and shrug. He needs to have one standout piece per outfit and edit down. Heidi starts talking about how she loves the shin guards and the short dress and how she’s going to make it more slutty with garter belts. The shin guards are like fat rings around her legs, sewn together in the front but not in the back. Heidi doesn’t know if the whole thing is cohesive, though. Kors says he loves that there is nothing retro about it. Ouch. Jay tells them how he and Mila are BFF now.

Kors wants to see Jay, Heidi wants to see Mila, and Nina is on the fence. Kors doesn’t really seem to like Mila’s retro sense, and Nina doesn’t think she’ll surprise them. Heidi says she has her own twist so it works. Jay has fantastic pieces but also some overworked stuff. Kors gives everyone a Yiddish lesson about things that are over decorated. Heidi worries that Jay will overdesign. Kors thinks it’s better to start with too much and edit down. Kors starts to talk about how he could fix something and Heidi tells him not to redesign.

I wish I could get excited about this drama. But not only did the loser today get a collection, but so did Anthony, and Jonathan, and so many people that the suspense is long gone. Heidi says they decided who was ready to show at Fashion Week, and that person is Mila. Knowing Jay still got to show a collection means I don’t feel that bad for him. He’s pretty upset though. I mean, he can’t win at this point but his clothes are still out there.

Next week: Seth Aaron has 24 looks. Emilio has something old. Mila is missing models. Someone wins something. Clicky clicky

TAR16, Recap Leg 9, 4/11/10

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on How DO You Say “Fast” In Malaysian?, teams flew from the Seychelles to Penang, Malaysia. The Cops incite Team Like the Iraq to U-Turn the Lesbians should the opportunity arise. The Cowboys beat the Speed Bump and surge from worst into first, while Steve and Allie, though bagless, have difficulty finding the right temple for the detour and perform a Bald Snark, which smacks them squarely into last, and they are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
2nd – Carol/Brandy, The Lesbians
3rd – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock
4th – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
5th – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!

Pinang Peranakan Mansion, Penang, Malaysia

10:02 AM Jet/Cord (1st)
Clue: Make your way 400 miles by bus and train to the country of Singapore! Once there, find the Victoria Concert Hall and search the grounds for Allan Wu, host of TAR Asia, who will give you your next clue. You have $190 for this leg of the race.

CAUTION: U-TURN AHEAD

10:12 AM Carol/Brandy (2nd)
10:31 PM Louie/Michael (3rd)
10:50 PM Brent/Caite (4th) – Caite: “We have to U-Turn the Lesbians!” (Toyouke: “I'm not particularly attached to the lesbians, but I feel that all this stupid "They're so mean they deserve to be gone" whining is tiresome. Call the whambulance and the rest of us can get on with our lives.”)
11:09 PM Dan/Jordan (5th) – who talk about how they are playing a clean game, and unless it means that they would be out, are not going to play a U-Turn or a Yield.

Teams arrive at the bus station and get busses in the following order:

Bus 1, departs 10:47 AM
1) Jet/Cord

Bus 2, departs 11:00 AM
1) Carol/Brandy

Bus 3, departs 12:00 PM
1) Louie/Michael
2) Brent/Caite
3) Dan/Jordan – who find out that the other two teams on their bus REALLY don’t like the lesbians and feel that they are a threat. (Toyouke: “'I learned a new phrase! "U-Turn the shit out of them!" Now I will use it every 5 minutes like a 6 year old! '”) Jordan: “I think they just don’t like the lesbians, but that’s not a reason to use the yield.” Oh, but he was all ready to go ballistic all up on them if they had said they were yielding them for being gay, which was excellent. (Toyouke: “Leave it to Jordan to know exactly what is really going on.”)

Teams arrive in Kuala Lumpur, which is where the teams transfer from the bus to the train. All teams get on the 9:30 PM train to Tanjang Pagar Station in Singapore. As the train is arriving, the lesbians jockey for position, prompting comments from the teams that don’t like, such as, The Iraq, like them, such as the Detectives? And such, like, as. (Toyouke: “Oh ladies get their way but bitches don't? Apparently asshats can't get their way either. However…I probably wouldn‘t let people by on the train. “)

Teams arrive and get taxis in the following order:

1- Louie/Michael
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Brent/Caite
5- Jet/Cord

Teams taxi and arrive at Victoria Concert Hall and find Allan Wu (Toyouke: “Woo! TARAsia!”) in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan – who know exactly who they are looking for and avoid going inside. (Toyouke: “Jordan! Smart! Knowing he'd be outside!”)
2- Louie/Michael
3- Jet/Cord
4- Brent/Caite
5- Carol/Brandy

Teams open the envelope and find all sorts of surprises.

In front of the clue envelope, we find the FAST FORWARD!

FAST FORWARD:

Recall (if you can, since we see these so rarely anymore) that a fast forward is a task that can be performed to allow one team to skip all remaining tasks and head directly to the pit stop. However, each team may only use their fast forward power once on the race, so they must decide when it is more advantageous to use it. In this, the only fast forward on this race, (Toyouke: “ONLY ONE FAST FORWARD? WTF IS THAT?!?!?!”) teams must travel to the Singpore Flyer, which Phil describes as a “giant wheel of fortune” and take the observation wheel to the top. Once at 541 feet, teams must climb out of their car and travel from one car to the other in the air. Once complete, they get their next clue and skip all remaining tasks and travel directly to the Pit Stop.

Teams decide to go for the Fast Forward in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan – which is a good move, actually, because it is so rare for them to be in first, and it guarantees a first place finish for them. But Jordan freaks out. Dan: “If you fall and die, I love you.”
2- Louie/Michael – who decide that they Detour they chose was too hard and try for it. When they arrive, Dan and Jordan are attempting, so they leave and go to the other Detour. (Toyouke: “This is why they should have more Fast Forwards. Then it would have been worth it for Michael and Louie to go for it, because maybe the teams ahead of them didn't bother. If you only have one, then the first place team goes for it and everyone else might as well not bother.”)

So – Ferris Wheel, climbing, Fast Forward for their team. They get their Fast Forward and travel to the PIT STOP at Marina Barrage. Jordan: “Oh, I can see it from up here!”

All other teams now get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Pounding the Drums OR Pounding the Pavement
*Pounding the Drums: Teams must travel Speaker’s Corner and find a child to teach them how to play a complex drum routine. Once learned, teams perform it with a group on stage. If they perform it correctly, a performer will give them their next clue.
*Pounding the Pavement: Teams must travel to a pedestrian mall, where they collect a box of wafers, a loaf od bread, 2 umbrellas, 4 chairs and 10 boxes of ice cream and then find an Ice Cream Uncle, make and sell 25 ice cream sandwiches to get their next clue from the Uncle. (Auburnium0513: “Ice cream and actual bread? Eeww.”)

1-Jet/Cord choose Pounding the Drums
2-Brent/Caite choose Pounding the Drums
3-Louie/Michael choose Pounding the Drums – who, as we have learned, give up on this task, and bald snark to the Fast Forward. Michael: “We’re off like a prom dress.” Once they realize it has been taken, they Double bald snark to Pounding the Pavement and sell ice cream.
4-Carol/Brandy choose Pounding the Drums – Carol wants to give up, and she and Brandy persevere.

(Auburnium0513: “So it seems that all the teams agree with me about the appeal of bread and ice cream.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite – Caite: “Where’s the U-Turn? I want to U-Turn the Lesbians! They hurt my feelings!”
2- Louie/Michael
3- Carol/Brandy
4- Jet/Cord

Teams are then instructed to travel to Penang Road and Orchard Road in order to find Istana Park.

After that, teams arrive at the park in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Louie/Michael
4- Jet/Cord

When they arrive, teams find the U-Turn.

This is the second U-Turn of the Race. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is not blind, so teams must reveal whom they u-turned.

1-Caite/Brent choose to U-Turn Carol/Brandy – which is not a shocker in the least. (Toyouke: “I mean...they're behind...so...really it makes sense to U-Turn them. But you're only doing it because of ONE comment made ON THE FIRST LEG. Seriously.”)
2-Carol/Brandy have been U-Turned - so they head back to Pounding the Pavement. And Brandy makes fun of Caite the whole way. (Toyouke: “Man I wish the lesbians HAD been making fun of Caite this whole time. It's better than Millie Mole.” Auburnium0513: “Actually, Carol and Brandy, it's really smart of her to U-Turn you. You are a stronger team than hers.” Kmanpat: “EVERY team is a stronger team than hers.”)
3-Louie/Michael cannot U-Turn
4-Jet/Cord cannot U-Turn

Teams then get their clue, which is right next to the U-Turn box, in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Louie/Michael
3- Jet/Cord
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams are now instructed to travel to ASL Marine Shipyard to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Louie/Michael
3- Jet/Cord
4- Carol/Brandy

And teams come to the eighth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready to add some stress to their day?
In this roadblock, both team members must dress in appropriate attire, and then one will go onto the dock and count anchor chain links. Once they get the correct number (521), the foreman will give them their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Brent
2- Michael – who pulls out his umpire pitch counter. (Auburnium0513: “Smart packing, detectives!”)
3- Jet
4- Carol

After much link counting (Toyouke: “Are...are they shouting random numbers to screw them up? That's fantastic!”), teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Louie/Michael – who forgot their clipboard, and then try to steal the lesbian cab in order to make up time. (Toyouke: “Oo, I do not approve of cab poaching ever.” Auburnium0513: “Thank goodness the cabbie had a sense of integrity. That was about to be some dirty racing with cab thievery!”)
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams are then instructed to travel to Santosa Island and find the MegaZip, a 1200 foot zip line. They arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Louie/Michael
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams Zip line and get to the base to arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Louie/Michael
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams are now instructed to travel to Marina Barrage. This is the PIT STOP of the ninth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in MAY be eliminated.

1- Dan/Jordan – and they each win a motor bike. Dan: “Thank you, but neither of us will use them.” Jordan: “Our mother would kill us!” (Auburnium0513: “'Thanks for the prize...it sucks, but we still love it!"”)
2- Brent/Caite – Caite: “We u-turned the lesbians because they were mean to me!” (Toyouke: “I enjoy mocking Brent and Caite. See, if they'd been doing that all season, then yeah, mean old lesbians. But they haven't.')
3- Jet/Cord – Jet: “The closest thing to a musical instrument that we play is a radio.”
4- Louie/Michael
5- Carol/Brandy

And Carol and Brandy are eliminated. They are convinced that the u-turn was vindictive rather than strategic (which it was) and don’t feel they should be eliminated. That’s ok. You’ll probably get to run decoy for the rest of the race anyway.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Dan/Jordan
2nd – Brent/Caite
3rd – Jet/Cord
4th – Louie/Michael

In two weeks (due to the American Country Music Awards): Teams race to Shanghai! Puzzles blow away in the wind! And Poppin’ Fresh Jordan is not laughing when he gets poked in the stomach! Until next time! Clicky clicky