Previously on “Project Runway”: Angelo was eliminated, because he is too boring and the producers know they can get some good TV out of Ethan. Then we had the unconventional materials challenge, which is a staple and always at least decent. And they did away with teams! So it was not bad. Even when Christian announced that the runway would be in the workroom, that just meant they'd have decent lighting for once. But the enshittification of the show continued, because there was only one judge: Law. And Law felt that Yuchen's soccer ball bikini, where he just cut balls in half and slapped them on his model, that should win over Veejay's lacy badminton shuttlecock dress. Then he put Joan, Joseph McRae, and Antonio in the bottom and told the remaining designers they would vote for who goes home. Because they think we all want to listen to these people bicker? I want to watch Jesus suddenly go from calling Veejay a bitch at every turn to telling everyone she's right, just because she wants to keep his twin in the show? Nope. (click for more)
I feel some kind of obligation to keep watching, and it does help that the show is only an hour, but when it gets to be 9pm and I know I have at least two hours of typing ahead of me, and I'm kind of over the show already? I just went to bed. I know I have said “fuck this show” many, many times, but I don't know if I've ever had this little motivation.
I'll say what I always say, which is that the judges have literally one job and that is to eliminate people. So farming that out is some bullshit. They all go back into the workroom, and I wonder if they bothered to read the votes first. You know Jeff Probst organizes the votes for maximum drama, but these producers? It's just as likely they'd end up with a tie and have them go to the workroom, read the votes, then back to the Scrap Bin, then go back and forth a million times because no one thought to check. First of all, some idiot votes for “Miss Jone”. Come on. Anyway, everyone gets at least one vote but Joseph McRae is sent home. Did he have the worst look? No, but then again, I don't have to type “Joseph McRae” anymore. Madeline says she's sad her best friend on the show is going home, and maybe she could have stood up for him a little more, but she couldn't have swayed four people. I guess that last vote was for Joseph McRae too? Whatever. When he leaves he says “Still iconic, bitch, don't forget” which is a pretty good exit line.
Joan thanks everyone for saving her, and the number of people crying does not match the number of people who did not vote for Joseph McRae, so I see you. Madeline is upset, and when Christian asks her about it she says she's angry. And you should be. Christian tries to pretend you have to make tough decisions in this business, and you do, but also this show is advertised as someone else making these tough decisions, so I think we can understand why she's pissed you would farm out the decision making on the contestants. LITERALLY ONE JOB.
Anyway, time for the next challenge because fuck you. You must make a “runway-worthy” version of your unconventional materials look, completely out of fabric. Oh another one day challenge. Madeline says if she had the energy to scream, she'd be screaming. Same girl, same. Christian gives some nonsensical instructions: “And it can't just be a story. Visual, meaningful, they have to connect because both looks are gonna walk down the runway together.” What the fuck does “it can't just be a story” mean? I'm sure Christian doesn't know either.
I think they are sketching tonight. Veejay does some project placement for the pens. Joan talks about tailoring a suit, her strength. Antonio brags that he doesn't sketch, Jesus sketches for him. Madeline calls the twins out on always helping each other, and Veejay pipes up that it's a big advantage. I didn't hear you saying that during voting. Ethan brags in confessional he doesn't need help to do well. Veejay tries to “challenge” the twins to maybe not work together and see what happens. Uh huh. Somehow they agree just to shut her up, but we all know they're going to do whatever. We're back to hating Veejay now that Antonio is safe.
$350 and 30 minutes. Immediately the twins are working together because of course they are. Madeline has some gray, and Christian looks skeptical, but her look was silver stars so gray is not that weird. That's it for shopping at Mood!
Joan doesn't want to look at her outfit but she needs redemption. Christian shows up to talk to everyone. Ethan has made a swimsuit with very high-cut legs. He calls it a “a banana hammock”. Christian just says “wow”. The plan is for a cocoon and a “J. Lo” sexy reveal. I mean sure if he has the time. Madeline I think is cutting triangles out of her gray fabric. As Christian is talking to her, Antonio is hammering grommets and he gets a death glare and an order to stop doing it. It'll be triangles but softer. Antonio has see-through pants and a corset. Jesus had a cool leather dress out of volleyballs, but now he's got a gown and it maybe doesn't connect. Belania also is making a gown but I think she has the same colors. Yuchen is making a flag. It's big blocks of like, yellow and green and black, and then he interviews that when he thinks of soccer he thinks of the World Cup. So he is literally making a flag dress and a bomber jacket. He's gonna prove to all the other judges Law is mental and he shouldn't have won. Veejay is making more boning, but on the outside this time, and in black with black lace.
Joan has a suit and it looks amazing, but maybe it won't connect. Corsets in both I guess. She jokes that she maybe could take some Popsicle sticks and put them on the suit. Christian threatens to quit. Joan interviews that she was actually cast on the show before, in 2020. So that would have been season 18 or maybe 19. But she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to drop out to get treatment. It's a full circle moment now. Aww.
Jesus wanders back and forth and then struggles with his dress form not staying up. It does feel like one of those things where normally it's fine but seven other things have gone wrong today and this is the thing that is going to make you cry and then break something. He tells Antonio he's not inspired, and it seems like he's just exhausted. He's crying and saying he doesn't want to do it and Antonio is over at his workstation hugging him. Veejay says she's struggling too, and she would love to have her best friend here. OK I am on your side in most of this stupid fight but this is not a good look. She wants “someone” to take that comfort from them so they can realize it's a competition. 1. you sound so terrible right now, like you just want them to suffer mental problems, and 2. maybe if you thought this way you could have told everyone to vote Antonio out instead of telling them all Joseph McRae was insulting you by making a circle skirt too many times.
Model fitting. Antonio's bodice is asymmetrical, but not enough to look like it's on purpose. Jesus is struggling, and Christian gets it but also reminds him he's been on this show before (I completely forgot about that!) and suck it up. Down the back of Jesus's gown is a red stripe, because he needs to bring in the red from the volleyball, and then OH MY GOD Ethan is like “gee that red stripe looks familiar”. You didn't invent a red stripe, JFC. This is always the dumbest drama, because no one has the balls to confront anyone directly, they just bitch about it in confessional and behind their backs, and then it's always some dumb bullshit like “I put a red stripe in my jumpsuit for activewear and now Jesus has a red stripe in his gown” like you reinvented the wheel. It's going to take up so much time and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will come of it. Meanwhile Ethan's swimsuit is cut on the sides all the way up to her ribcage. It's not working and he's going to have to either ditch the cocoon or the swimsuit so he has something, and he does not have time to worry about a red stripe. Veejay has a lot of work to do, but in terms of ideas and design it's great. Madeline has frayed edges on her triangles and Christian says it's “amateur”. And she taught herself so it really stings. She's going for “egret” and ending up at “pigeon”.
Ethan is scrapping the slutty dress, which is probably good, so he'll have a dress covered in butterflies and a cocoon. Madeline bitches about how she'd like her brother here, but that's not their fault. Blame the producers for putting them both on the same season. Yes, they're annoying, but at some level you can't blame them helping each other. Madeline tells Belania she has to redo her sleeves “cause they're ugly” which is really funny to me for some reason. In unfunny news she is feeling she has to redo the whole thing which is not great.
Runway Day. Looks like three hours to work. Joan leads them all in a cheer for some reason. Some random producer wanders into the workroom to tell Belania one of her models is sick. That sucks. And this issue reveals the huge problem with only having some plus-sized models. You know I love that they are there. Liris is great. But what's happening now is they want to move the “regular” model to today's look, and use an “alternate” for the unconventional look. But today's look was made for a plus-sized model, and they want to replace her with a regular-sized model, so immediately the tailoring is going to be garbage. And it's not Belania's fault. She has under three hours to take in a size 20 dress like, three or four sizes smaller. Either everyone has a plus-size model or none. Otherwise you get shit like this.
The models arrive and Belania says at least her hands stopped shaking. Christian has confidence in her. Jesus thanks him for his advice and then says something about having a crush on him. Christian is like “everyone has a crush on me, hello.” Heh. Antonio has made another thong. Christian announces to the room that Joan cannot handle the thongs in the room and they both laugh. Jesus bitches to Christian that Veejay and “these designers” are trying to separate him from his brother, and Christian immediately replies that maybe they SHOULD separate since they're working on each other's garments. This is why I like Christian. There is some Ulta Beauty advertisements, and I miss hot makeup guy Scott. Veejay's hands are fatigued, but it's all boning and handsewing. Joan offers to help, so of course immediately Jesus is bitching about it. There are two ways to look at this. Either Veejay hates designers helping each other, in which case she should also refuse help. Or, since Jesus and Antonio are helping each other, she said “fuck it” and got help for herself. I don't know which side I fall on because I can't bring myself to care. Madeline is far behind.
Guest judge is Jenna Lyons, an actual fashion designer who looks so much like Michelle Visage that I did a double take. Yuchen: a black and white bomber jacket, which seems too shiny to be leather, with white sleeves and a black torso with white pockets and waistband. Then it looks like he made her another tiny miniskirt/bikini bottom out of the soccer ball. Attached to the back is a big train in black, white, green, and yellow. It's just big pieces of fabric, there doesn't seem to be a pattern or anything except colorblocking. And everything was supposed to be fabric, so if that bottom is another soccer ball they better nail him for it. Veejay: black jumpsuit with boning in the bodice. The fabric is a black lace with almost an art deco pattern to it. Most of the top is just the black boning, with two strips of the black lace going from her waist over her breasts. The boning makes some cage-like structures at her shoulders, a bodice, and more loops at her hips. The legs are narrow but not tight. When the two looks are next to each other, they look like parts of the same collection, because the boning is the same width, and they're both lacy.
Madeline: short full skirt and crop top, both in gray. The top has big puffy sleeves that end at the elbow, and the front is covered with pieces of organza, like feathers. There's a sparkly square in there somewhere. The skirt has a wide waistband with a buckle, and then a lighter full skirt. It's not terrible but I fear they're going to nail her for being boring. Belania: long gown with a slim skirt, in the same blues and greens and a touch of pink like her unconventional look. The skirt is matte, with a big ruffle and opening in the front. Not a wrap skirt, but the ruffle gives that effect. The bodice is fine, there's a halter strap, but knowing she had to fit this on a model that was such a different size, it looks decent in terms of fit.
Jesus: long black gown with a high slit and some boning or other padding at her hips. The hips are really wide but I'm not sure how they are supported. Then a V neck on the bodice, with long sleeves that look like he covered them in the zip ties. They could be fabric or feathers. I don't know why she needs panniers but sure. Then the back has a deep V down to the small of her back, and there is a red lapel and stripe down to the hem. Joan: suit jacket and pants, in a coppery (or maybe gold) metallic fabric. The jacket has black lapels and the model isn't wearing a shirt. The pants are not tight but also not super wide, but the fit looks great. The back of the jacket has a big oval keyhole and possibly a tie.
Ethan: gray dress with more panniers or something to make the hips wider than they are. It looks like a pencil skirt with a slit that ends just below the knee. Then there are buttons up the bodice, and a butterfly cutout that covers her whole chest. Just the shape, in the same fabric as the dress, so it's obviously related. Over all of this is a sheer piece that I think might be the swimsuit fabric, that she pretended was hiding this dress and then she threw open dramatically. It was around her neck, but when she removes it you can see the dress comes up to the style of halter dress that's a collar. There is so much padding or whatever at her hips that it looks like she's maybe 5 months pregnant and hiding it poorly. Antonio: sheer pants and a sheer corset, in sort of a beige or slightly pink non-color. The fabric is kind of shiny, and the corset is strapless and it does fit at least. Then there looks to be another “jacket” which is clear plastic triangles this time. Not fabric.
Yuchen and Joan are safe. Law makes sure to tell Joan that he knows he was very critical of her look last week, but she redeemed herself. No one calls Yuchen on the skirt. Ethan, Veejay, and Jesus were the top three. OK good, someone is going to acknowledge Veejay. So Antonio, Madeline, and Belania are the bottom.
Heidi says she loves Jesus's look, and it's impeccable and Law loves the wide hip. Oh and we have to mention the red because that's the part Ethan is mad about. Jesus claims he's always thinking about what Law would like. First of all, why, and second of all, he didn't put you in the top last week so stop kissing his ass. Nina drops a grenade into this drama and says when she saw the red stripe she thought it was Ethan's look. Nina. You know you can't argue that a designer invented a red stripe of fabric. You know this. I need you to be the sane one. Heidi agrees but we expect Heidi to think this. Nina straight up calls it plagiarism which is crazy. It's a red stripe. Ethan has a confessional where he agrees with me that “plagiarism” is maybe a little harsh. He spins it as “Nina was so impressed by my piece she's still thinking about it and that's an honor”. Veejay chose fabric that had the same feeling as the shuttlecock pieces. So the two pieces go together very well, and the new piece is perfectly fitted. Ethan says the dress looks so wide because there is padding, and Law has to add that as a drag queen Ethan knows how to pad. “Maybe.” The tailoring is great, although Nina thinks the sheer piece is not needed. Then we see the sides, and the butterfly cutout piece is pretty stiff, so there are just bra cups, like pasties, made from the sheer material (in several layers of course). That's really great actually, a great detail. Nina says that's the reveal, so maybe edit. The winner is Veejay, which I am glad about. She should have won last week. When they go back into the Scrap Bin, Jesus is holding her hand like he doesn't think she's a terrible bitch.
Heidi thinks Belania's gown is old fashioned. I guess it's like, that kind of flamenco skirt with the ruffle and a plain bodice. Nina thinks it looks cheap, and maybe it would be “acceptable” in a jersey. Heidi complains that “acceptable” isn't going to win anything here. Sure, but having to re-fit your look the morning of the runway means you're probably looking for “acceptable” and that's not the worst thing. Belania tells them she took the dress in by eight inches, and Law says she did that well. The tailoring is fine, but the dress design itself is the problem. The straps are wide, and then Belania starts to fumble because she says something about how she can't put “certain styles” on her model so she'll just make a “beautiful silhouette”. My guess is she's trying to argue that the straps are wide so the previous model could wear a bra. Law says it would have been better as a swimsuit and sarong. I can see that. Belania straight up tells the judges they would have said the same comments if she'd done that. Oo girl. So now we have to complain about her attitude. Listen, there is some level of “maybe don't piss off the people who are responsible for your future on this show” here. But the vibe from Law is “never contradict me” and it's starting to feel like Law thinks he's allowed to behave however he likes, but the designers must be polite and humble at all times and that makes me uncomfortable. I don't think Belania is “really, really rude”. I think she's not apologizing for her look and since you think it's terrible, you're offended she's not sorry about it. The guest judge at least goes for the argument of “I don't see you in this look, you need to stay true to yourself”.
Madeline didn't have enough cohesion. The unconventional look is too shiny to go with today's look. Law says he can see how she tried to make them go together with the triangles. Nina hates the skirt, because it's just sort of there. Maybe she could have pushed the skirt, or the length of the top, or something, to make the whole thing more interesting. Heidi admits she gave Antonio a high score and she's probably the only one, which tracks. She thinks they're “modern girls of today” and she specifically says she loves that you can see the G-string through the pants. Of course she does. The corset top mostly fits, but Christian was right about how it's asymmetrical but not far enough. It's slanted, but not very much, so it just looks like he sewed the seam crooked or something. Or the highest part was supposed to be in the middle and he put it on wrong. Nina finds it problematic, although Heidi and then Law say they don't hate the pants. Law says it's a “really good stripper costume”, and this is upsetting. I mean he's right. But think of what this show used to be. The phrase “really good stripper costume” should not be counted as a positive thing unless the challenge is to make clothes for strippers. Nina doesn't know how he made it this far, which is going a long way towards redeeming Nina in my eyes for the red stripe thing. Antonio feels attacked and he should.
Madeline is making sad clothes. Sad and poor. They like her unconventional look, and today's look doesn't fit and is sad. They argue over Antonio, because it was Heidi's favorite and Nina hated it. Nina thinks he's smoke and mirrors, but Law argues he was the least offensive of the three. Nina has zero faith in him. Belania has great personal style (Law disagrees) but she maybe got thrown off today. A bunch of her defense of herself was that she wanted her model to feel comfortable, so she was at a disadvantage. But does she have some personality?
Next week: streetwear, Yuchen is feeling the pressure, Ethan is crying and Joan has to comfort him, Jesus is still obsessed with Veejay. I know a spoiler from a look Heidi wore in public where she straight up said whose it was and so I feel like I know who will go home. I can't care that much if the show isn't going to care, because I don't think it's the episode coming up, and that means there's three or four weeks at least between Heidi's appearance and the episode she's spoiling and that's just shit planning.
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