Thursday, November 2, 2017

Project Runway 11/2/17--"There's Snow Business Like Sew Business" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: my computer ate my recap, but nothing really happened. Everyone had to make “warrior” fashion inspired by breast cancer survivors and there was a minimum of drama about it. Kenya made a fantastic blue dress covered in pleats and petals but she lost to Brandon, who made the same androgynous, loose clothes with straps he always makes. Margarita made a fairly boring gown and was sent home and then Saved by Tim. (click for more)

Margarita vaguely gloats about not being eliminated. She lets us know it's the last challenge before Fashion Week. Kenya still hasn't won a challenge. Brandon wants another win. Whatever.

Both Heidi and Tim come out to the runway. They make some tortured season jokes and then there's fake snow. Heidi claims to love the snow but you know she doesn't. She can't show off any skin. Today's challenge is to make a “high-fashion winter look”. Brandon grew up in Utah so he does know actual cold. Margarita freaks out because Puerto Rico isn't exactly known for winters. Tim did specify that a fashionista should want to wear this outfit on a cold day. Two days and $400. I'm going to go ahead and say Twist Alert, even though I feel like they haven't used that at all recently. Have they? They have two day challenges so rarely anymore, and they haven't sprung a second surprise look this season.

Anyway, field trip to an ice bar to sketch. Margarita and Kenya complain about how cold it is, but these places give you big fur coats and hats and whatever. Tim quickly bails so everyone can sit on carved ice sofas covered in furs and sketch things. Ayana wants to make a coat, because she's never made a coat before. With a big pink panel. Brandon sketches some giant coat that's oversized because of course. Kentaro gets that model that speaks Japanese. Lots of details. Margarita is cold and wants to make something with fur. Kenya is sketching a complicated coat with a simpler blouse and pants. Mood is Mood. Brandon buys waxed cotton and the worker offers to roll it up, because if he folds it, the creases will show. Ayana buys black and pink and black and white checks. Kenya buys some square print that looks like a 70's afghan. Margarita buys rabbit fur. Well, she tries, but then Tim out of nowhere says they're a fur-free zone and she can't have it. You couldn't have made that clear beforehand? Maybe they did and she forgot? Or maybe they didn't in the hopes they could have this scene? So now she's wasted almost $100. That better not be deliberate shenanigans on the producers' part. But I'm afraid they are.

After commercials thank GOD Tim says he feels culpable that he didn't declare they were fur-free before shopping started. That means he's taking the blame for this fuckup. Tim tells everyone he'd like to give Margarita another five minutes to replace the fur. Then he asks if everyone is OK with that, which is sketchy. It was sketchy when he did it when Char fucked up her zipper, because you're asking in a group and on camera, and on the spot. I don't mind it as much in this case, because it's not like Margarita was told no fur and she forgot. She didn't know. Everyone agrees, of course. So Margarita gets some faux fur but she's still not happy.

Tim promises critiques “on the earlier side” tomorrow. I think Ayana is painting? Kenya's print still looks to me like an afghan. Brandon even says it looks like Grandma knitted it. It's a big dark open square over browns and dark oranges. Brandon crumples his waxed cotton very carefully to make a distressed look. Kentaro describes his jacket as “beautiful whipped cream”. He's also modeling his look on himself because he's the same size as his model. Heh. Margarita is still cranky, because now she's making a “reversion” of her first look? Why, because it's faux fur now? I'm not sure why there's such a drastic change, unless the faux fur is so terrible she doesn't want to use it and has made a completely different design.

Day Two. Kenya gives Brandon shit about not needing any time ever to do anything. I feel like he laughed at it and said something about her being a comedienne, but I think she was more serious than he thought.

Tim Time! Kentaro's got a wrap jacket in beige, and he wants to make a lavender turtleneck. There's some yellow, but it looks like an egg against the beige. Tim tells him to make the turtleneck in the same beige, which somehow won't be boring but “rich”. Sure. Kenya has black and white polka dots for a top and she's making pants too. Tim says some generic stuff about “being yourself” and “innovation” and blah blah. I'm not sure he said anything concrete. Not like “make your top out of this fabric.” Brandon has a nice coat with frog closures and what looks like a sheepskin lining. Tim falls over himself to praise it that he pushed himself and whatever. I guess because there aren't any straps on it. Ayana has a peacoat that is pink on top and black on bottom, with an asymmetrical line between them. Also it unfastens right under her boobs to make a cropped jacket. She also wants to paint the line between pink and black, but Tim is horrified. There is too much happening already and he likes the 60's mod look of the jacket right now. OK then he tells her to paint the pink instead? Like, he orders her to get the black paint and flick it on some scrap pink fabric, and then tells her how great that looks. Why is he giving so much help? You know? Plus so often his help exactly contradicts what the judges want. Margarita has a chartreuse yellow dress/romper, that she's going to trim in the faux fur. Tim hates it because it's a throwaway. Well to be fair, the other four are making complicated coats, and right now she just has a dress that isn't that impressive. Tim pretends the faux fur is “seductive” and is now encouraging her to make a full dress out of the faux fur. What. Well at least that's interesting.

Ayana sets up her coat to flick the paint, and you can see her visibly flinch before she can force herself to do it. Then she just does it and leaves because what's done is done. I don't like that she's so reluctant to do it. You know? Shouldn't you be excited to make stuff? Margarita is still in that weird place she's been in all episode where she hates everything but she doesn't want to quit. Model fitting. I just noticed that Kenya, the biggest designer, was assigned the two biggest models on the last two challenges. Were they waiting to see if she got eliminated? Wouldn't you do that first? I mean Kentaro's getting repeated models, you know? Margarita appears to put a bathrobe on Liris. I don't know. Then she's fitting muslin for the dress, so I'm not sure what that was about. Oh look, Brandon has weird pants on his model. Like, leggings but then a muff but strapped to her waist. So she can put her hands in it. Ayana's jacket looks good, the paint turned out, but I still think it looked better plain. Brandon takes a nap while everyone eats dinner. Margarita flees the lounge because she's freaking out about being behind. Well, she is behind, because she wasted yesterday. Everyone else is taking breaks and making accessories. Margarita is also talking to herself, but in that loud way you do when you are basically begging the other people in the room to ask you what is wrong.

Runway Day. You guys, do I need to retire the Twist Alert? I'm not sorry if I have to, it's just weird. Kenya gets her top on her model and suddenly she doesn't like it. Jazzmine I think talks her into it. Liris doesn't like being put in a fur dress, because fur dress. Too bad. Ayana tries to edit, but she can't figure out what to do with it. Not hot makeup guy Scott. Plenty of last minute working. Kenya put the snaps on backwards. Oops. Also I'd like to say Kenya has spent at least 10 minutes this episode talking about how badly she wants to go to Fashion Week.

So they decorated the runway with fake trees and lights and shit. Guest judge is Katie Holmes. Also fake snow, which I feel is a bad idea because I can't imagine fake snow + plastic runway + shitty JC Penny's shoes = a safe environment. Brandon: I'm sorry, the first thing I see is more fucking straps. And his model immediately shrugs the coat off her shoulders so you can't see it. Instead you just see the leggings and fanny pack/muff/whatever it is, and a crop top. And like, one rectangle going down one leg like half a skirt, and the crop top has two layers and a turtleneck. Look it's more of the same from Brandon so you know what it looks like. The coat is a big waxed cotton coat in a dark brown with frog closures and some beige trim. I'm going off what I remember because you can't tell from this runway. Oh wait, you can tell the back is cut off so it hits at her waist, except for one long panel that hangs down to the back of her knees because straps. Margarita: camel wrap coat. It's cool, and I would probably buy it, but there isn't a lot of structure to it so it looks like a big bathrobe. Under this is a sleeveless knee-length dress made out of faux fur, with a high collar. The collar is weird because the fur comes up so high it starts to bury her face a little bit.

Ayana: black and pink coat, which fits pretty closely. The line between the pink and the black is diagonal and goes across her chest and arms. The pink has the black paint splatters, and there's a shawl collar. Under the coat are some black and white checked pants that look a little cropped. At the end of the runway the model takes off the bottom of the coat, so now it's a cropped jacket, and opens it. The top is the same fabric as the pants so maybe it's a jumpsuit? The sleeves of the top stick out under the sleeves of the coat, and now that the coat is off you can see they're pleated pants so they're very baggy around the hips and she has a diaper butt. Kenya: big coat in that afghan print. There are big patch pockets and a big collar with lapels. I'd probably buy this coat too, it looks so warm. Under this are black pants and a long-sleeved white shirt with black polka dots. There are a bunch of details with the pants, I think, but I can't see them clearly.

Kentaro: big beige coat, with a sash belt that seems like it's sitting very low. Like the model tied it around her butt instead of her waist. The top has extra folds so it looks lumpy. Then, in the same fabric, there are shorts. Long shorts, but they're shorts? And knee-length socks. I'm not sure what's going on there, but there may not be a top because she doesn't take off the coat. I think there's a scarf too, in the same fabric.

Brandon talks about Utah, but that outfit would not work in a Utah winter. Waxed cotton and a crop top? Come on. The coat just looks like those sheepskin coats cowboys wear. You know? I think it's a dark olive green. Zac calls it a winter version of Brandon's usual outfit, but then he and Nina both love it and the layering and it's exciting. Blah blah. At least Nina doesn't like that he made a bag, but also had a muff and he doesn't need both. Katie likes the colors...the white and one green thing. Why is everyone up Brandon's ass all the time? He makes the same thing every week and it's not that great. Heidi is the only one to point out it's a winter look and his model has sandals on. Margarita I guess wanted a coat that felt like a fur coat, but not in fur. I guess? Fur coats don't have sash belts? Anyway, she takes the coat off and then Heidi yells at her for lining the dress in fuchsia. Well, I believe she's yelling at her for sewing the back so poorly the lining is showing, or at least you can see it through the fur, but the way she phrases it, Heidi sounds like she doesn't understand lining a dress. But the back of that dress looks terrible, very lumpy, and the belt is too small so it makes her ass look bigger in comparison. Margarita explains how this was the second idea, and then suddenly Heidi loves it and Katie loves how the neckline works. But they do know the back is not great. They love the coat too, I guess. Maybe that's how wrap coats are supposed to look and I just don't like them.

Ayana thinks her coat has an outlaw feel. Sure. Nina likes the pink because it's unique. Everyone has a black coat. So the jumpsuit underneath is fine on top, although the sleeves aren't just long, they go over her model's hands and are cut like gloves. So when you look at her hand, there's a piece around her fingers like mittens and a separate thumb hole. Those pants are atrocious though. It's very young and no one likes the jumpsuit, although they very much like the coat. Kenya's coat has attitude, but Zac wishes for some more styling. He also doesn't like how the three pieces sit together, although individually everyone agrees the pieces are great. Also the pants are so high-waisted her torso looks too short. The pants and top are uptown and the coat is downtown. Kentaro was inspired by his model. And those are shorts. Everyone loves how everything is the same color and the shorts and the shorts are shorter in the back by like three inches and they like that too! Minimalist and lovely. Anyway, so that means the only person who got anything resembling criticism is Kenya, the person who has also talked the most about wanting to go to fashion week.

Now is the time for everyone to explain why they shouldn't be eliminated and which two designers should also come with. Kentaro wants to mix culture and fashion is his way, and he would take Brandon (of course) and Ayana because she's completely different from him. Interesting. She makes him smile. Aww. Brandon says he's been pushed (to make the same outfit seven million times) and he would bring Kentaro and Ayana. When he names Ayana her eyes bug out a little bit and she makes the best face. He says she has a surprise factor. Kenya gets choked up while talking about her struggles, and says Fashion Week would make those struggles worth it. She would bring Brandon and Ayana. They both have great viewpoints. Margarita would tell a story and she's grown so much. She would bring Brandon who is incredible and Kentaro who is very good technically. Ayana has been pushed here and wants to go farther. Kenya knows exactly who her customer is, and Brandon would push her also. Interesting. So everyone wants to bring Brandon and no one wants to bring Margarita. Am I just not getting Brandon? Is he actually great and I'm just not seeing it? Because I feel like suddenly everyone is talking about how Brandon is a genius but he's making the same outfit over and over. Or did everyone know the judges are so far up Brandon's ass that maybe they'd get some bonus points by agreeing?

Back in the Scrap Bin Margarita stops and throws her arms out and says “No one wants to pick meeeeee!” Then she complains about how no one wants to see her collection. Girl it is not the time. No one is going to suddenly reassure you. She announces to the room “No one believes in me but me.” No one looks at her or says anything so good. The judges are surprised that Brandon's coat is so heavy. More kissing Brandon's ass. Kentaro is hit-or-miss, but this is a big hit. It's not as bulky as it might be. They still love Ayana's coat, and Heidi says it's one of those things where you can tell it's great but not your personal taste. That's true. Margarita's coat is great, but the back is terrible. You know why the lining is showing through? Because Margarita didn't even sew up that seam. The seam that runs down the middle of the skirt over her butt isn't even tacked together with safety pins. Zac moves it so you can tell. Tim says that the coat isn't meant to be removed or whatever. They praise it some more which is dumb. Kenya's coat is great, but it doesn't go with the outfit underneath.

Oh we're going back to the time when we talked about everyone after looking at the outfits. OK. Nina says Brandon has the most unique point of view. Yes but I also feel like he's crossed the line from “cohesive” to “repetitive”. Kentaro is interesting and makes them want to see more from him. Ayana is focused and also has a great point of view. Zac wasn't that impressed with Margarita, compared to the other judges, and she's hit-or-miss, but he does want to give her another chance. Kenya is up and down, and her clothes are really wearable. Katie thinks that wearablity is maybe “the next thing” for fashion, which is hysterical. The next big thing in clothes is...the ability to wear clothes. Nina feels Kenya choked this challenge, but she's talented.

Kentaro is in. Brandon is in. Obviously. Ayana is in. Both Kenya and Margarita are making stank faces. They are pissed. Margarita is in. I knew it. So it doesn't matter that her dress wasn't even finished? A whole seam not sewn? Stupid. Kenya...and then they fade out and fade back in on Kenya in the Scrap Bin, where she comes in, and sits down, and takes a million years to tell them she's in too. Sigh. Look, I know this is not even as many decoys as they have in a regular year. So even if they had eliminated someone today, that person would still have shown at Fashion Week. You know? But this show does that “oh we can't decide so no one is eliminated” thing ALL THE TIME. I think on “Top Chef” it's happened maybe twice and one of those times was because a fridge broke and ruined people's food so they didn't think it would be fair to eliminate someone because of something they didn't have control over. Make decisions and eliminate people because that is your damn job. Tim comes in and says he's been a wreck all day and now he has to make five home visits! “There may be more details.” Group hug!

Next time: $10,000 and 10 looks, but only three people will “show”. It looks like once again Heidi is not there. You guys. You are trying to keep this show going and your host can't even be bothered to keep her schedule free to film the damn show! It's not like she doesn't know when Fashion Week is!

No comments: