Project Runway 9/28/17--"The Ultimate Faceoff" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: we had the “your models are your clients” challenge. The models got to choose their designers, which was not super interesting except for 1. Samantha was chosen first, and 2. Claire was last. Claire and Shawn continued to make each other's clothes, to the point where Claire promised her model long pants if she had time, and then made Shawn's clothes and not long pants. But even though Tim told the judges this, no one said a word to Claire that we saw. Instead, all of a sudden the judges hate everything Samantha's ever done, and she's one note. Let's not mention the part where they've spent two episodes telling her that what she herself is wearing is better than what her model is wearing. Or how she basically made herself an outfit this week and they hated it. Apparently it was her time to go so she went home. Kentaro won, for making what was basically faux denim thigh highs. They were cool and all, but the bullshit with Samantha overshadowed it somewhat. (click for more)

Kentaro is happy with his win. Obviously. Brandon says he looks to Kentaro for advice. Claire bitches about being in the bottom twice. Well, stop helping your sister and stop sucking. She of course feels she belongs in the top. Margarita is irritated that Shawn was in the top for copying her model's outfit. Like, whatever clothes she showed up in, that's what Shawn made. Margarita got slammed but at least she made something original.

Everyone is in JC Penny (slumming it today I see) and they are in the menswear section. Or at least near a bunch of male mannequins that someone set up in the middle of the walkway of this deserted store. Oh, sorry, it's actual living models. I swear the camera buzzed by them so quickly, and they're all posed on those white cubes, I thought it was mannequins. Also there is fabric in bins nearby. Brandon is thrilled because he's actually a menswear designer. Kenya doesn't want to touch the models...? Girl. Maybe she says she wants to touch them but NOT dress them. That makes more sense. Monica Dalton, “design director of contemporary brands for JC Penny”. Tim knows exactly why everyone looks worried. Margarita is like, “I have to make pants, again, for a guy, who has junk down there, even worse!” Hee. Sadly, it's not menswear. Boo. It's “menswear as inspiration”. OK so each model has an outfit, and behind them (or nearby, or whatever, I don't have a map) is a bin with the fabric that was used to make the outfit. The clothes each model is wearing are “essential” because the fabric is “a point of departure”. It's just a weird phrasing that I feel I should write down.

Each model has two cards already, with names, so they're not even going to pretend this was a random assignment. I mean, I always assume the producers rig any group assignments and pairing up that is presented as “random”. Kenya and Kentaro are a pair. Not sure yet if this is a team or if it means they just have the same fabric, so it's a head-to-head thing. Brandon and Shawn. Batani and Ayana. Amy and Claire. Margarita and Michael. OK so the twins are NOT a pair, which I thought they were based on the teaser from last week. I mean I'm sure they'll make each other's clothes like always. Other than that, the two “ethnic” designers are paired (I'm sorry I KNOW but I am sure somewhere someone has Batani and Ayana labeled with exactly that word). Also Margarita and Michael, who have spoken before about both speaking Spanish, are paired. Oh, so random. Anyway, now Tim declares it a team challenge, and then they let some intern have five seconds on screen to bring the button bag. OH. OK that actually is not a bad twist. You managed to surprise me, show. Each team will make two “cohesive” looks. As Tim calls names, you get to pick your own teammate, but you can't pick the person with the same fabric as you. Interesting. Kentaro gets to go first, and he takes Brandon (duh). Amy picks Kenya, Claire picks Shawn (well at least when they are making each other's clothes it'll have a point), Margarita picks Batani (she wanted to pick Michael), so Ayana and Michael are stuck with each other. Ayana points out that Claire and Shawn don't have an advantage because they've been working together this whole time and they aren't doing very well. Hee! Winner gets their outfit produced for sale. We'll see. It's supposed to go online at the end of the show so by the time I get this recap done, it should be up and I'll let you all know what it looks like.

30 minutes to sketch here, and then $100 at Mood for notions and stuff. Only one team member gets to go to Mood. Ayana wants an oversized men's shirt, and Michael is doing a shirt dress. They seem confident, although everyone seems to be assuming Kentaro and Brandon are going to win. Brandon is thinking hoodies and joggers. Batani has a flared dress with a double breasted bodice. You know with the two columns of buttons. Margarita is making a dress. No pants. But another shirtdress. I think there are going to be a lot of shirtdresses. Amy and Kenya are excited to work together. Kenya tells us Amy has created great things, but then Amy says she wants to lean on Kenya's “design sensibilities” because the judges love it. Huh. It just sounds like Amy is wanting Kenya to design everything. Shawn has Liris, and says it's her second “curvaceous” model, but Liris also works the shit out of whatever you put on her so it's fine. Is it because I don't like Shawn that I am irritated at the “curvaceous”? Probably. The twins are already fighting about how this is supposed to be a fall outfit. Shawn says it's not “hateful” arguing. Whatever. Neither of them are really in a position to pass judgment on the other one, you know?

In Mood, it's Swatch's birthday! Yay! There's a cake and he has a crown and a rawhide. Aww. But I'm sad because I'm pretty sure it says “Happy 10th” and that means that someday (because this show will never end) they'll go to Mood and he won't be there. Shopping is boring other than Swatch. As usual.

Kentaro pins muslin on the legs of his dress form, and Kenya smacks it and says “Your first vagina!” Ha! It looks like Claire wants to make denim dropped crotch pants. Feh. That's what the sketch looks like. Margarita interviews that it's nice and quiet in the workroom, until the other half of the designers comes back from Mood and Claire and Shawn start yelling about whatever and knocking shit over. We are not shown any clips of this. I mean everyone is talking to each other, it's not like it's silent except for those two. Brandon makes a hood and tries it on. They are working together pretty well. Batani is taking direction from Margarita since she (Batani) doesn't have a lot of menswear experience. Margarita doesn't mind since it helps the team, but she's got an ambitious dress and also helping Batani which is a lot. Shawn flails and Claire tells her not to dress her model any differently because she's bigger. Just think of what she herself would wear and make it larger. Why is Claire the voice of reason on this show? Maybe she's slightly more genre savvy. Shawn complains in confessional that she doesn't know Liris's body. Really? Because Liris is the one model name I know because we talk to her every fucking week about what she wants and what she likes. Come on. Claire suddenly declares that Shawn depends on her too much. Well, why have you been doing her shit for for the past like three episodes? To be fair, Claire leaves to do her own thing and Shawn accuses her of abandoning her. Claire. You could have left her out to dry at any time and this would not be an issue right now.

Commercial Interlude: Kentaro asks Brandon a bunch of questions. Brandon thinks they are going back and forth. Brandon does get some questions in, as they design some shorts and leggings.

Amy and Kenya plan to do princess panels. Kenya is thrilled to work with her, and Amy says it's a true collaboration. There is a lot of chatter and the only hint of drama is the twins. Claire talks to Michael in the sewing room, and as she's babbling about whatever, he just walks out. She finally notices he's gone, and says “I just was one of those people.” At least she recognized it.

Tim Time! Batani and Margarita have a good plan, although she's planning to put in functional buttons, which means buttonholes, which means a lot of work. Margarita worries that they aren't cohesive, since each look is made from one fabric, and they won't be the same. Tim says if they're just putting trim to put trim, it won't go and they'll probably get nailed for that. I mean it makes sense, but I've noticed quite often that Tim will tell someone one thing, and then the judges will eliminated them for that exact thing. Tim also tells Margarita to let go of the last challenge. Kenya and Amy have a denim pantsuit (with peplum so this must be Kenya) and a blouse and shirt? Blouse and skirt? It is two pieces but it looks like a dress. Tim does not like the pussy bow. Michael and Ayana get praise for Michael's piece but Tim doesn't like Ayana's. He says it's a hospital gown. It's a loose shift in light cotton. Ayana says when they put sleeves on and she can belt it maybe? Kentaro and Brandon are labeled “The Dream Team” by Tim. Wow just come right out and tell everyone else they're going to lose. He loves everything, except Brandon's cropped hoodie is all black and it's too dark. He also tells them they have multiple pieces, but you can't wear any of them separately. Michael thinks they aren't listening.

Shawn immediately gets on my damn nerves acting like Liris is some shadowy mysterious figure with crazy whims who is impossible to interpret. She wants to show off her figure. She has told every fucking designer she wants to show off her figure. There are five other people here you could ask about Liris. Also making a body-con dress isn't “enveloping” her unless you put a high neck and long sleeves on it. Tim shuts down most of the whining by pointing out no one else in the room is a plus-size designer either. Claire wants to make a shirt with a bandeau over the top. Like a bikini tube top, in two different fabrics, worn over the shirt which is also half black and half gray. What. Tim tells Shawn to make leggings and a tunic, instead of a dress. I guess so.

Claire immediately complains she doesn't want to put Liris in something oversized. You can make a body-con tunic. I mean, I'm not sure why a tight dress is worse than a tunic but whatever. Tim's advice doesn't always make sense anymore. The twins decide to ignore Tim to make a sweatshirt dress with sweatshirt sleeves. Because Claire's last sweatshirt went over so well. Model fitting. Liris complains to some other models that she doesn't have anything to try on, which makes total sense, but then she complains that they're always helping each other, and I'm not sure how she knows that unless someone told her to say it. I don't fault her for being worried though, because at some point she heard them say they don't design for plus-sized women (or again, someone told her) and Liris herself is a size 14. OK wait. Didn't they say the models were from size 2 to 22? So where is the size 22? Because I feel like Liris is being presented as the “hardest” model, where “hardest” means “most different from traditional model size” but wouldn't that be the largest model? I thought she was the size 22 because they've spent so much time harping on how hard she is to dress. So you're telling me there's a model who is four dress sizes larger than Liris? Who? Kenya appears to be making the same suit she made for the good and evil challenge: tight, peplum, fantastic pants.

Shawn rolls up into the sewing room and asks Kentaro if he would be offended if she totally copied his legging idea. What!? Get your own damn ideas, Shawn. Also the sewing room has more people in it than I've seen all day so I'm sure she waited to have maximum witnesses. He says he doesn't mind but his denim was very stretchy. See, but did he say that because he didn't want to look like a jerk in front of everyone? Come on, Shawn. Margarita complains she has to worry about Batani. I don't think Batani is nearly as dependent on Margarita as the twins but sure. The twins snipe at each other. Lovely. Kenya is pleating fabric for a back-up idea instead of making the pants which are the main idea. Amy is annoyed because they need the main outfit done. Kenya makes a bitch face in confessional, without saying anything. Amy complains that if it was her student, she could have stopped her, but I guess all she thought she could do was make passive-aggressive comments.

P.S. For those of you who are not versed in American sizing, a women's size 14 is the smallest size most plus-sized retailers carry. The smallest. The average American woman is a size 16, which is one size larger. It's very difficult to look at a show like this and realize that someone like Liris is actually not that big, compared to most women. You know?

Runway Day. Amy and Kenya are both nervous. The twins still have a lot of work to do. Now Amy and Kenya are getting snippy, because neither of them want to listen to the other one, but they each feel their partner should listen to them. So Kenya thinks Amy is screwing up her top, but Amy thinks Kenya is on the wrong track and won't listen, and blah blah blah. Ayana is very excited about her look. We've heard from her all of like, twice, so I'm sure she's safe. Not hot makeup guy Scott. All of the interviews are Claire mocking everyone else's looks with super fake wide-eyed innocence. Liris claims to be OK with her outfit, even though the neckline is very high and she is basically wearing a sweatshirt that nips in at the waist and is a dress length. She doesn't sound very excited about it though. Margarita thinks there is no way for anyone else to be done already.

Guest judge is actress Asia Kate Dillon. Ayana: shirtdress in white with tiny black dots, and leggings. The leggings are tight but rouched, like when your pants are too long but you get the whole thing on your leg anyway. The dress is not that exciting, because even though there's a belt it's kind of shapeless and the sleeves are a weird bracelet length. The collar is a band collar with a tab on one side, and the placket is off center. I think there are pleats on the back. Michael: short shirtdress, in pinstripes, with a high slit and a more traditional bodice and pointed collar. Over this is a maroon jacket. The skirt is a little full but I can't see a lot of detail in the jacket.

Kenya: black pencil skirt and gray knit top. The top is long sleeved and has a mock turtleneck, with a keyhole in the chest and attached scarf. I think it was supposed to be a pussy bow, but they just sort of left it alone to not make a bow. Amy: light blue denim pantsuit, with slim pants and a bodice with a peplum and a wide neckline. There are big pointed lapels that hang down past her boobs. It looks like if you folded the lapels up they would reach the opposite shoulder. Big buttons down the front of the bodice. The pants aren't as tight as Kenya's from the previous challenge, and I think the top looks a little lopsided, like the two halves of the neckline don't have the same curve.

Kentaro: cropped white leggings, a short black skirt and tank (or maybe it's one piece), and a white tank/sports bra underneath. This is all topped by a pink and blue plaid cropped hoodie. The skirt is much longer in front than in back. Brandon: it looks like shorts over leggings, both in black. Then a white cropped top, and a long coat in the plaid that is almost to her knees. Also some straps. What is it with Brandon and his damn straps? You're going to call Samantha out for being one note but Brandon puts straps on everything and that's totally fine? Whatever. Both coats are hoodies, I guess.

Claire: short-sleeved T-shirt in two different fabrics. The right side is the gray knit, and the left is a shiny dark green. Also the left arm has a horizontal ruffle for no reason. Then there are pants in the light blue denim, which fit horribly. They're so loose in the hips and crotch and thighs, and then skin tight from the knee down. Also there's a sash tied below the waistline of the pants. Like, from the front it looks like she's tied a sweatshirt around her waist, but then she turns around and there's nothing but the terrible fit on the pants making her ass look bad. Shawn: basically a sweatshirt that hits at mid-thigh. It is fitted in the waist, but it has a high crew neck and long sleeves. Along one side is some rouching and a dark gray sash or tie or some of Brandon's dumb straps. The opposite shoulder has a ring of black, like the braiding you see sometimes on military uniforms, where it goes around their arm at the shoulder. Then knee high black boots, or whatever thing Shawn copied off Kentaro which I think is essentially leg warmers that exactly match some low boots.

Batani: short dress in maroon, with a full skirt and long sleeves. The neckline is a deep V, with some buttons like a double breasted suit. Margarita: knee-length dress in a checked fabric, with long sleeves. The top has a high neck, but also a diagonal seam lined with buttons. The seam hits her hip and there is a bunch of pleating, and the skirt on that side is about three or four inches higher. The back has a narrow keyhole.

Ayana and Michael are the middle and are safe. You know this because we haven't seen them all day today. Brandon, Kentaro, Batani, and Margarita are the top. Oh, the teams that had bickering had low scores! Imagine that. The twins, Amy, and Kenya are all kicked out for now. In the Scrap Bin, Shawn says they were going for a YOUNG woman (Ayana does the best eye roll) and something about JC Penny, delivered with the most smug, fake-confused tone. You would think someone who was such a camera whore she put on a super fake tone every time she opened her mouth would be genre savvy enough not to bitch about having to work with a fat person. Amy feels she let everyone down. Brandon and Kentaro discuss how they kept each other in check. Nina thinks they are effortless and a lot of pieces. Zac says it's sophisticated and cohesive. Somehow there is a hint of menswear but I don't see it. It's sporty for sure, but not particularly menswear-inspired. Heidi asks who should win, if they win. Kentaro says he couldn't have made his look without Brandon's help, and Brandon just kind of hems and haws and refuses to answer the question. Kentaro says it's up to them, I guess. Heh. Batani's dress is velvet. Heidi actually likes both dresses, but she and the judges really heap praise on Margarita's. Margarita's dress is just a little different and everyone can see how well it would sell because everyone wants it. Velvet is tricky but it is a great dress. They also refuse to answer who should win.

Shawn tells the judges they worked in a “collaborative” setting, like, you always do that even if you shouldn't be, so big deal. The two looks aren't cohesive and Zac calls Shawn's look “trashy, uninspired, banal”. Burn. I don't think it's trashy, necessarily, but the other two sure. Claire's shirt is bad, and the sash (which is half gray knit and half pink and blue plaid) is just pointless. The back of the pants is dumpy. They also get nailed because this was their chance to prove how awesome their sisterhood designing power was, and they failed. Shawn says something about younger clients, and Nina just says “Hmm...the contemporary market is not an excuse to give us boring things.” I am loving this. She doesn't know why you need these clothes, which prompts Claire to say some shit about JC Penny's clientele being inspired by influencers. Zac tells them they don't have a brand, and Shawn agrees, and then Claire is all, “Shawn, I don't think you should sell yourself that short”, and Shawn is like, oh, I know, well, let me make a SUPER DRAMATIC GESTURE with both fists clenched and my face raised to the heavens. This is the kind of shit I was talking about. Both the twins clearly have spent a lot of time working on how they appear on camera, and they are extra about their diction and word choice and tone, and it's all very fake and very obnoxious. But then they haven't figured out that whining about the non-model you have to dress is the fastest way to be hated by this audience. Heidi would feel bad for anyone to have to wear those clothes. Shawn volunteers to go home if they lose, because Claire has more technical prowess. Claire hesitates for a long time before saying she thinks the collection is both of theirs, and she'll leave it up to the judges, but she'll take it. Now they're each acting annoyed that the other one sacrificed herself.

Amy's pants have buttons at the ankle. Kenya's outfit was too boring. I honestly thought that the peplum suit was Kenya's. Suddenly the suit is boring and weird. OK but it's the same idea that Kenya already made and was praised for. Right? Slim pants and a long-sleeved fitted jacket with a peplum? That one was covered up with a ruffle, so are you telling me that having a wide low neckline completely made the suit suck? I don't know. Neither one is modern. Zac says the suit is wackadoodle but at least well constructed. Nina hates the styling too. They don't like the denim, and Amy says something about asking Kenya, as if she's blaming Kenya for the denim without coming out and saying so. Amy says she would go before Kenya should, and Kenya just says she deserves to be here. Heidi tries to force her to say Amy should go home, and Kenya is like, well no she depended on me a lot. But when asked again she doesn't say anything, so now Heidi is confused. Why? This is a dumb game you play for drama and every single person involved has refused to play which is hilarious. Kenya doesn't want to go home, and when Heidi asks if that means she picks Amy, Kenya says “If that's what it sounds like, but I have a right to be here.” I love that no one would do what Heidi wanted.

In the Scrap Bin, the twins say they really don't agree with the judges, with their stupid fake faces, and Kenya gives a mighty eye roll. The judges can't praise Brandon and Kentaro enough, with not one word about the straps. They love Margarita's dress to death (maybe can't be sized up though). Batani's velvet dress is not so great, but I don't think they hate it as much as they hate the other looks. Amy's suit is well tailored, at least. She thinks Kenya's model looks like a nun, and Zac says “A sexy nun”, and Nina says “A South American nun” just quietly enough that she might be muttering under her breath, but loud enough everyone can hear. Hee! Shawn and Claire have a taste issue. Heidi says something about how they have no choice or whatever.

Batani and Margarita are the winning team, and Margarita is the winner of the challenge! Nice. Also because Brandon didn't win. I don't mind Brandon, I just think he's been overpraised. Batani, Brandon, and Kentaro are also in. Claire and Shawn are the losers, so Kenya and Amy are in. Finally. Heidi tells the twins one of them will be out...but not yet. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. You want to keep them around forever to have drama and piss everyone off, but they sucked so bad this week you couldn't ignore it, so now you have to pretend to give them a second chance so you can hope someone else sucks worse next week. Oh, sorry, you “truly don't know who's more responsible” so you can't make a decision. Then Heidi says “Eliminating a designer on 'Project Runway' is something we take very, very seriously” which is such a load of horseshit. We all know that isn't true. Anyway, Heidi says they'll have to go head-to-head in a one hour challenge starting right now. Create a new look in an hour. Do not help each other, because the whole point is that they don't know what you can do individually. OK on the one hand, if this eventually results in one less twin, then fine. But on the other hand, now I have to listen to a bunch of whining about how much they love each other and “if I win then my sister loses” and whatever the fuck.

I can't find the winning look on JC Penny's website. I will say that I do not like the rest of their “Project Runway” collection at all. But I can't find it, and they might be waiting until after the West Coast airing, in which case, whatever I'm going to bed.

Next time: the stupid one hour challenge, with drama as I expected. The “real woman” challenge with friends and family of the crew. Margarita says “I was amazed to throw people under the bus”, which makes no sense, and then Michael walks off the runway. So that line doesn't make sense, but if I had to guess I'd say that Margarita got to assign clients because she just won, and someone wasn't happy with their assignment and accused her of screwing them on purpose.