Thursday, September 3, 2015

Project Runway 9/3/15--"Gunn and Heid" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the producers decided to have a challenge that was as vague as possible. Update a “classic” piece, using New York as inspiration, and get a Mary Kay consult. It was pretty lame, but then the producers completely ignored the inspiration part, because it's so vague, and then they decided Blake should win so he did, even though his dress was so poorly made I thought it had ruffles, when really it was just really, really puckered. And then they decided not to even pretend anymore and acknowledged it was poorly made, but somehow a butt cape is just so innovative they overlooked everything. Then Gabrielle went home. And I thought I stopped caring about this show, but here I am all mad about it. It would be great if all this nonsense just elicited an eye roll instead of yelling at the TV. (click for more)

Blake spends some time pretending not to be super proud of himself for winning. Amanda complains about being in the bottom. I know she's not stellar but it is true that she's not the worst one there. But she has been in the bottom a lot.

Heidi and Tim both appear with paintball guns. UUUUUUUUGGGHHHgggghhhhhhhhh. Ugh. Fine. It's just more gimmicky bullshit. Blake gets to pick first and he picks Swapnil. Heidi “picks” Candice out of the button bag and she promptly picks Amanda, which irritates Ashley. Candice says she wants to “uplift” Amanda, which sounds dumb and maybe she just wants a crappy designer as a scapegoat. So then Swapnil and Amanda pick the next people, and so on. The two teams are Blake, Swapnil, Joseph, Jake, Edmond, and Merline; and Candice, Amanda, Kelly, Lindsey, Laurie, and Ashley. Ashley is PISSED because Edmond picked Merline and left her for last. I guess the producers decided Ashley has had too much praise so they wanted to knock her down a peg, or they are hoping for drama and tears. Because she's won two out of four challenges, one of which was the previous team challenge so maybe she might be good at this. Heidi points this out. So now the teams are all the boys and Merline, and all the other girls. Ashley thinks all the girls picked their friends which was dumb so their team will suck. Maybe.

Now everyone goes outside and gets paintball guns to play “Capture the Fabric” which is somehow defending a barrel of fabric against the other team with guns and paintball grenades. So, another dumb gimmick to keep them from Mood. Does Mood not like you anymore? Everyone runs and grabs fabric and I guess when you get hit you just run back to the start? Or what? No one seems to be “dying”. And now all the fabric is covered in paint probably. The boys agree to all grab blue. Ashley used to play paintball so she is killing everyone. Blake's stupid ass is way in the back just standing there because of course. Now there is ANOTHER twist because they have to use the white jumpsuits they're wearing as the main fabric and the bolts they just ran around to grab as the supplemental fabric. Why is everything so convoluted? Each team will make a six look mini-collection, which means everyone makes an outfit. Just tell them to make outfits. I don't need every challenge to have seven requirements that I know you'll just ignore later. Tim throws shade at Blake and says maybe Blake won't make anything. Ha. They will have the rest of today and all day tomorrow, so twist alert in effect.

Candice says AGAIN how she believes in Amanda. Whatever, girl. Although she may be right about how they're the better team because Joseph and Jake haven't impressed me yet. They also will have sheets and more paintball grenades and stuff if they want. Joseph wants to do 70's but Swapnil wants 50's. Of course, Joseph. All your customers are 70. Edmond suggests a vote but Joseph relents and they're going to make 50's. The girls are all saying what they want to do but no one seems to be worried about if anything goes together. Ashley is sulking about being picked last so she's not talking. Not that I blame her for sulking but I am willing to bet the contestants did not have 100% control over their teams. Plus you need to still contribute, if only so you can honestly claim later that you tried but no one would listen to you. Jake wants to make textiles for everyone so they all have the same look, and basically it's looking like paint splatters. The girls apparently think they should just all mess around and make decisions tomorrow. I mean, Kelly knows they need to make prints today so they have time to dry, but Lindsey is like “let's just play around and see what we like” instead of trying to make a plan. When Ashley tries to organize everyone they all talk over each other. In fact the girls' team are SUCH poor planners they paint ALL of their white fabric in the interest of playing around and seeing what they like. All of it. So now they have to use whatever they have already painted, which they don't like. Way to go, idiots.

The boys are painting shoes for some reason. Edmond says they're all helping each other and they're making gowns and long coats. I'm not sure what kind of gown you can make out of a sheet but sure. Candice is “leading”, or as she puts it, not bossing but “inspiring”. Except I'm pretty sure Ashley is going to hear it as “do what I say,” especially when you explain yourself and then add “it's the little touches” because that sounds really condescending. To be fair Candice is bossing everyone, not just Ashley. Blake's stupid ass doesn't know Marilyn Monroe was in the 50's. Joseph rolls his eyes and tells him to shut up. Yes. Ashley thinks all the people on her team are just making their own look, and they should be able to collaborate. Yes but that's how this always works. “Cohesion” is just a buzzword they pull out to have an excuse for doing whatever they want.

Tim Time! Edmond explains that their team is just using the jumpsuits as a base, Swapnil explains the 50's look, and I think everyone has something to say. They think they have all their fabric made and ready to show Tim. They are currently in good shape. Everyone on the other team describes what they're making but no one speaks for the team and most people are pretty far behind. Tim reminds them it's a collection and it's supposed to go together, and they should be scared. Also their fabric is ugly and looks like an Easter basket. Tim leaves without a twist, because I think since they told people to make fabrics with paint they had to have a two-day challenge so stuff could dry.

The girls sit in the lounge and feel bad about themselves. Amanda thinks they can have crazy colors but somehow make it chic. Oh Amanda. Ashley and Candice seem to get in an argument where Candice demands ideas from Ashley and Ashley doesn't want to do stuff that no one likes and this makes Candice think she has to design for Ashley? What? No, she knows you'll tell her what to do and make her change her design so why waste time? Kelly finally points out that everyone seems to have gathers or something so maybe they should just go with that. They go back to work but no one is happy. Everyone hates the painted fabric, and also the bright orange and ugly purple which is all they have left. Somehow they decide they have to have cohesion so they all put the ugly purple in. It's like Barney purple. Model fittings. The girls' team have nothing to put on their models.

Tim returns to tell them there's a woman from some sponsor who will let them have a nail consult. Whatever. Amanda hates that there's no cohesion, although I didn't hear her trying to pull everyone together. As far as we know Ashley is the only one trying to get people to have a plan. Amanda blames her team for forcing her to make something she hates. Whatever, girl, your team had zero direction for you because your team has no theme for this collection. They let everyone do whatever they wanted which is why you're so fucked right now. So don't blame your team. She is in the sewing room and asks to borrow Laurie's scissors. Laurie is using them so Amanda is like “OK thank you team player”. Girl bring your scissors with you into the sewing room, damn. Then she says Laurie has an attitude which is ridiculous. Ashley decides to throw out her pants and just make a circle skirt. The boys' team are all using the same blue, which is cohesive and at least is not an ugly color. Candice thinks they came together as a team. Sure. Amanda continues to take zero responsibility for her design.

Commercial interlude: the editors try to get us to like Blake but I'm not falling for it. Everyone is losing their minds and giggling. Candice is hoarding shoes under her workspace.

Runway day. Laurie is trying to be positive. Candice orders everyone to forget the drama or whatever. The girls pretend to like their designs. The boys discover some of their fabrics are still wet. Kelly thinks you can't tell their team fucked up, but come on. You can tell. Also the boys painted a bunch of shoes dark blue for some reason. Bleh. Ashley and Laurie whisper about how they don't want to go home but then Laurie is all “I'm not a gossiper but they're throwing you under the bus.” Laurie. Just admit you're stirring shit up. Candice, Amanda, and Lindsey are a unit. Ashley's not that surprised but I think she's disappointed they were so fake as to tell her they liked her design. Laurie promises she's not going home, but I would put even money on Laurie turning on her too. That's how it goes. Or is Laurie still pissed at Amanda from yesterday?

Guest judge is Kelly Osbourne. And then also Lisa Perry. The boys and Merline are up first. Blake: simple shift dress with cap sleeves, to the knee. The fabric (which will be repeated everywhere) is white on top with blue on the skirt. Mostly a lighter blue with dark blue spatters. There's a big keyhole in the back. Joseph: top with elbow length sleeves, that is a crop top. Then the skirt has a high waist, with a separate sash/waistline that is high enough there's no skin showing. The skirt is simple but at least it's not matronly. The top is maybe a cropped jacket? Swapnil: dress with a strapless neckline and a full bubble skirt. The bodice is pleated diagonally and reminds me of that guy that used to make the rose tops? Van? The skirt is really full but also looks heavy and there's a swag of fabric over one hip. Oh, everything is the same blue, I guess. Jake: pedal pushers and a cape type top? If you took a sleeveless button-down shirt, with a collar, then made full sleeves and then cut the sleeves from her shoulder down so they're just pieces of fabric hanging at her sides. Then the back is like a cape. Merline: a Frankendress. So one side is a shift dress, knee length, in mostly white with dark blue flowers. Then the other half of her body is a big floor length coat, lots of volume. All belted at the waist. Weird. Edmond: long gown with a sleeveless button-down bodice with a collar. It looks fine. The print is the light blue with dark blue flowers, with a darker blue ombre hemline. The collection does look 50's and it is all the same color so it has cohesion.

Girls' team. Ashley: full skirt in purple and then a pink top. The top is sleeveless and has a deep V neckline, and giant pleated lapels. It does look well made but not particularly a good look. I think part of that was a vest, because the model removes it, but only as she's walking away so we can't see what the top looks like underneath. Laurie: dark purple sleeveless top and what she says are culottes, in lavender. But they're short culottes so it just looks like a short full skirt. Lindsey: big coat with a drawstring waist, in lavender with a shot of peach. It's pretty shapeless. Under that is a white shell with a square neckline, that is fine I guess, and some lavender pants that are not good. Insane crotch. Candice: dress with both lavender and dark purple that is supposed to be folded. Like the lavender is folded back to expose the purple? It's poorly made but I guess she had an idea. Kelly: long mermaid skirt, and a bandeau top with two pieces of the dark purple over her shoulders in a V but those pieces are not even and I'm pretty sure I can see pins from here. Terrible. Amanda: very loose dress with a mullet hem and a huge train/skirt. It at least is not purple but orange in the front. It's just a big shapeless smock with a huge skirt but at least the skirt moves well. Mostly that collection was terrible.

The girls lost, of course. Not even the producers could justify anything else. They get kicked out to go sit in the Scrap Bin. Candice and Amanda desperately try to come up with a cohesive story for their collection. Jake claims their team was so great at teamwork that no one look can be claimed by only one person. It does seem like they all collaborated and had their fingers in everyone else's looks. Edmond also points out the shoes, which are kind of annoyingly matchy to be honest. Of course they all love this collection and it's cohesive and fun and fresh and energetic. There's not a lot to say. Wait, Swapnil took the shoes they gave everyone to paintball in and used them to make the corset in his gown. Nice.

Candice tries to pretend this girl is from San Francisco, which is dumb but no one would actually wear these clothes so I guess it's just as well. They could have picked anywhere. After Candice explains who made which look, Heidi asks if anyone else has anything to say, and after a couple seconds of silence Laurie says there was never a clear vision and everyone was just doing their own thing and “personal feelings got involved” and this is the result. So Heidi's like, you didn't get along then, and Candice is all no we totally came together but OK we didn't really have a direction. So what's up with the San Francisco thing, then? Basically Candice's explanation boils down to “I'm from San Francisco and I think I could see people there wearing this.” Then Heidi calls on Ashley (probably someone told her to) and she complains about being picked last and how her confidence hurt after that. Instead of Heidi telling her that sucks but she should have overcome it and shown all of them how awesome she is, she just tells her the first part and yells at everyone again for picking Ashley last. I like Ashley and I feel for her being picked last but really, after that she shut down when she could have just made whatever she wanted like everyone else. Plus I think someone was hoping she'd cry and be emotional which is why Heidi is so insistent on pointing her out and yelling about her being picked last. Laurie says that she thinks it was a terrible strategy and they should have picked someone on top. Ashley tried to help but no one would listen to her. And Laurie was the person picked right before Ashley so she didn't pick someone else for the team and I guess is the one person who can take everyone else to task. When Heidi says this collection is terrible everyone agrees, including the designers. Kelly's strap thing with the uneven straps is terrible, and Nina also rails on Amanda because I guess Amanda is this season's whipping girl. I didn't like Amanda's either but if she's so terrible that she's been in the bottom this whole time why haven't you gotten rid of her yet? Everything is amateur. Kelly O. has intelligent critiques about overworked fabrics and poor construction.

Who should be eliminated? Kelly hems and haws about how they are a team but Zac says that's clearly not true. So she says Ashley. Of course. Lindsey is all “well based just on this challenge I think Ashley” which is how you know she is totally not basing it just on this challenge. Amanda pretends to be sorry to say Ashley. Bitch you aren't sorry. Let's not pretend. Kelly O. stops them and says this seems like a bitch fest and they're all blaming one person rather than everyone. You're all on a team so you're all to blame. Candice goes for Laurie, probably because now that Kelly O's yelled at them she's afraid to say Ashley. Ashley says Amanda, as does Laurie. Neither of them pretends to be sorry.

Ashley thinks now they're looking at her as the worst and she might go home. I think Kelly O. is keeping that from happening, maybe, but yeah. Blake asks the girls why they feel the need to knock Ashley down because she's a good designer. Look at Blake being a nice person! Everyone insists that no they totally think she IS a good designer. So Blake says “Then why is she crying? It's because you guys are mean girls.” Burn. Oh we're not mean girls. “Well this is what brought you down. You guys fought the whole time.” It's true. Why is Blake the voice of reason? Jeez. Ashley points out that she and Merline were left at the end because it was a popularity contest, and they would all feel bad. I guess they probably tried to pretend they would be fine with being picked last. And again, I feel like Ashley shouldn't have shut down, but if they were really all telling her that her outfit was great? We've had teams that didn't get along before, but at least then everyone was honest about how they felt about everything. Pretty disingenuous to tell someone you like their outfit and then later say “This is the worst thing up here.”

Nina pretends that the winning team is the best team in terms of teamwork that she's ever seen. Let's not get too excited, Nina. Kelly O. likes that Edmond made the canvas look like nice fabric for his gown. They love Swapnil and the swag of fabric is a shirt. And they like the corset which is pretty cool, reusing the shoes. Jake's pants look good. OK that's all we're talking about, apparently. Time for the losers. Ashley's look isn't that great, with the pleats, but at least it has detail. And work. Candice's folded thing is way overworked and sad. What I thought was pins in Kelly's strap thing is a zipper and snaps. Zac tries to pretend it's well made but Nina is not having it. Amanda's dress is a tent but a well-made tent. Nina says it's the same thing she did last time and she always promises it'll be different but it's not.

Edmond is the winner! I'm OK with that. Though Swapnil should win something at some point. He has immunity. Everyone else on that team gets to leave. The girls did not work well together. Laurie, Lindsey, and Ashley are in. Kelly is in. Amanda is out. Finally. Candice is in. Amanda continues to blame her team for somehow forcing her to make a tent and then my recording cut out. But apparently when Amanda came back in you could tell that Candice and Lindsey were upset but most people were just standing up to be polite. No Save so far.

Next week: lingerie. “I think lingerie is designed to be taken off, NINA!” “It's aesthetically NOT PLEASING!” Oh what I wouldn't give for a good sass argument like that one.

1 comment:

Duabe said...

Sorry to see Project Runway turn into the Mean Girls show. Agree with you that Ashley should have gotten over being picked last and got on with the challenge. It's hard to be picked last (as I know all too well), but it was time to show the Mean Girls how to behave.

Good bye Amanda - we wont miss your whining.