Previously on “King of the Nerds”: the teams were
disbanded and the nerds had to compete individually. The Nerd War was a game
where you get a category and take turns naming items in the category, but with
nerd subjects ranging from the drivers in Mario Kart 8 to elements of the
periodic table. Ben somehow managed to do really well and win immunity. Lily
and Amanda were the worst, and had to battle for immediate elimination. Amanda
lost. The Nerd-Off was a game of Stratego, and it ended up being Raychelle and
Lily. Lily is the weakest player in the house, but it turns out she plays
Stratego a lot so she managed to win. Eh. Then all the eliminated contestants
came back because the finale involves voting and popularity for some reason. (click
for more)
Lily wonders how she got here. Yeah I wonder that
too. Someone has to explain the altar of everyone’s items from their Nerd-Offs.
Raychelle is almost not as upset to have lost, because now everyone’s back to
hang out. Heather decides to rank the boys in the house by who she would be
most attracted to. First of all, she puts Colby and Todd, the two big guys,
last, so shut up Heather, and then second, why in the hell are you doing this
in the first place? No one wants to hear how you’ve ranked them in
attractiveness. Also didn’t you loudly tell everyone you were bisexual? Why didn’t
you put the girls in your ranking? I did not miss Heather. Wait, never mind,
someone asks her that. She forgot Ori, and claims it’s because she doesn’t view
him as sexual. Sigh. Lily says she should be “queen” (she’d be KING like the
other two women before her so get it right) because she is passionate and
accepting. Todd thinks everyone is worthy of his pledge. Amanda claims she
doesn’t know who she’s voting for. Sure Amanda. Kaitlin asks Colby for his
vote. Do it Colby. Kaitlin’s the best. Colby is the best too, which is why I think
Heather should have ranked him higher.
So it looks like people are assuming that once
you vote for a finalist, you will be helping them in a challenge, so what you
need to do is make sure you get votes from people that will complement your
skills. For example Kaitlin doesn’t know pop culture that well, so she would
try to make sure she gets someone who can fill in that gap. However I think
Kaitlin and Colby might be unstoppable and I would certainly hope so. This is
also why Amanda is claiming she doesn’t know who to vote for, since Jonathan knows
a lot of stuff and doesn’t necessarily need her. Kaitlin goes to Colby, Ori, Todd,
and Thomas, all people who were “rejected” by the dumb secret alliance. Colby
asks who screwed her the least? Or maybe he’s saying he’s voting for who
screwed HIM the least? Kaitlin then tells all of these guys that there was a
final 6 alliance, which didn’t include any of them, and she’s the only one left
who WASN’T in it. Immediately Ori high-fives her and Thomas says that’s an
excellent reason to side with Kaitlin. I love it. I don’t know that Kaitlin is
emotionally attached to anyone here, or if she’s personally offended that the alliance
didn’t include her. But she knows enough to use that fact to get everyone to
back her up. I really hope she wins. Ori interviews it’s like the “cool kids”
deciding how things will be, and Colby says having an alliance is “a mockery of
nerddom”. OK let’s not go that far. It’s a game show with voting so of course
there’s an alliance. I liked the idea of a cross-teams alliance, but it was far
too big to last (I mean Jonathan jumped ship when there were still eight people
left) and I didn’t like any of the people in it. But just an alliance in
general? Not a problem. Colby says Kaitlin probably has all the “misfits” in
the house. Wait, isn’t that like a movie? Something…”Revenge” something? Hee.
Jonathan is making a spreadsheet about who is
going to vote for whom. Sigh. Heather is voting for Jonathan. Thomas tells him
that he’s either voting for him or Kaitlin. Kaitlin’s been the most honest, but
Jonathan supposedly is the most representative of a king of nerds or something.
Ben appears to maybe not have anyone.
It’s voting time! Jacob pledges to Jonathan, as
does Thomas. Ori goes for Kaitlin and is a dork with offering his sword to her
and is so Ori about it. Todd says something about redemption and then pledges
to Lily. BOO. I mean I get how you are trying to prove you’re not a jerk but she
sucks. Colby goes for Kaitlin so I hope all people are defeated. Heather goes
to Jonathan and Amanda to Lily. Raychelle goes to Jonathan. Wait didn’t
Jonathan double cross Heather to get her eliminated? She is not a person to see
past gameplay to vote for a good contestant so does she not know about it? Ugh.
So to recap: Jonathan has Jacob, Thomas, Heather, and Raychelle. Kaitlin has
Ori and Colby, and Lily has Todd and Amanda, so half of her team is made up of
a person who hates her. Ben has no one. Why does Jonathan have so many people? Dumb.
The challenge is to have a quiz bowl. Only two of
them will survive. Luckily Ben isn’t automatically out because no one voted for
him. But all you suckers have to go against Colby in Quiz Bowl and I hope he
helps Kaitlin destroy all of you.
So the quiz bowl involves some CGI thing. Nerd
Prime. Todd says it looks like Worf and a Yeti had a baby. I think it’s maybe a
puppet? Actually I can’t tell which is pretty great either way. Nerd Prime will
ask questions and the first to buzz in will get a point. You can use a
supporter to answer a question, but they can only answer one question each. First
to five wins. So you can’t waste your supporters. Lily says she’s going up
against three doctors. Then she says they’re not Time Lords, and then explains that’s
a Doctor Who reference. I think we all figured that out, LILY.
Lily shrieks about her buzzer not working, and
Kaitlin gets a question about “Lord of the Rings”. Ben scoffs at how Kaitlin
supposedly knows pop culture after all, but Jonathan got it wrong and so even I
knew the answer. Jonathan is starting to do well, also Kaitlin, and no one has
used their helpers. Kaitlin buzzes in for a movie question, and luckily Colby
knows. You have to buzz before you can figure out if your helper knows the answer,
so what if they don’t? Does that still count so you wasted them? Lily
eventually gets a point, and then another one. Boo. Ben eventually is the first
to five points, so don’t feel bad that no one supported him. Heather gets a
question wrong, which is lame, so the point goes to Kaitlin. Suddenly Jonathan
and Kaitlin both have four points. Kaitlin buzzes in, without even really
listening to the question. She has no idea. Jonathan gets it right. Awwww.
Kaitlin! I mean, bye Lily, but I hate that Kaitlin is out. I guess I’ll root
for Jonathan since he successfully double-crossed his alliance and then got
them to support him.
The whole group goes back to Nerdvana to party.
Lily thinks they should play charades. She says it in a really annoying way,
bossy and loud and maybe it’s because I don’t particularly like her but shut up
Lily. Jonathan says he and Ben are carefully not drinking. Meanwhile both Jacob
and Todd have stripped down to underwear. Actually most people have taken their
pants off and have Underroos on. Why? Drunk people, you guys. Jonathan, as a
mostly sober person, says that Heather and Jacob both have crushes on each
other but fail at follow through. He decides to be Nerd Cupid for the evening.
Hee. Hilariously when Jonathan goes to Jacob to tell him Heather’s into him, he’s
like “I know, I’m not stupid.” Hee. Heather’s protestations that she has no
game are really true, though, because she’s telling Jacob she’s not normally
into dudes. That is maybe not the best line. She babbles about Donkey Kong, and
Jacob looks uninterested. Then she makes out with Amanda. YOU’RE DOING IT
WRONG.
In the morning Heather puts all the
responsibility on Jacob, like, he can kiss me if he wants but I don’t have crushes
on men so I don’t know what to do. Well making out with SOMEONE ELSE is maybe
not the thing to do. Jonathan’s T-shirt says “crystal math” and is hilarious. The
final Nerd-Off is to play seven “nerd games” head to head. Colby references “Bill
and Ted’s Excellent Journey” because Colby is awesome.
First up is speed chess. You have five minutes to
play. The first person to run out of time loses. As they start playing Jonathan
casually tosses off that he used to be in chess club. He keeps talking about
what he’s doing and how he doesn’t like chess, but his distraction isn’t
working. All of a sudden, in no time at all, Jonathan says “checkmate” and
wins. Nice.
Second: Tekken Tag Tournament. I like fighting
games but I always just button mash. Jacob shares my strategy. Thomas says he
doesn’t know who is who, and Heather, I think, says Ben is “underboobs and cats”.
Hee. Ben figures out the special moves, and then Jonathan notices there are instructions on the console, so he does
one too and wins. Jonathan is up 2-0.
Third: a crossword puzzle. If neither one is done
in five minutes, the winner is the person who has the most correct answers. Jonathan
fails at spelling “Troi”. Come on. At least he eventually fixes it. Lily points
out it’s like watching golf, which is true. Eventually Jonathan gets stuck, and
sits down and stares at the board. With one minute to go, he gets up and starts
scribbling. Turns out if both of them have the same number of correct answers, then
the winner is the person who has the most correct letters. So he’s writing E in
all the spaces. Just in case. It doesn’t matter though, because Ben had more
correct answers anyway.
Fourth: uh…some dress forms wearing shirts and
pants and pocket protectors. You must place the various pens in the pocket
protector in the correct order according to the logic puzzle. Jacob wonders why
you would use a pocket protector when you could just buy a pen that wasn’t
shitty. Ben ends up winning this one too. Bleh. Tied 2-2
Fifth: “Nerd-quation”. Use the numbers on five
cards to create an equation to equal the number on the sixth card. Jonathan the
mathematician somehow is beaten by Ben. What in the hell. Ben is now leading
3-2. Todd asks where the hell this math skill was when they had to solve math
problems and they didn’t and Todd was eliminated. An excellent question.
Sixth: Connect Four. Awesome. Jonathan goes
first, and much is made about how the person who goes first has the advantage. Yeah
if you play perfectly. Ben places a checker and Jonathan jumps up and down
because he wins. Colby interviews that Ben will rue the day he placed that
checker there. “I mean you’re gonna rue the day it came down to Connect Four in
general, but that move!” Hee.
Seventh and final game: “The Griddler”. It’s
those logic puzzles where you get a grid with numbers on the sides, and when
you color in the right squares you get a picture. I LOVE THOSE. Love. You don’t
understand it is my favorite. I would destroy this puzzle. They seem to both
know how to do it. Jacob points out that Jonathan has won every head-to-head
competition, but Ben has won every “solve this puzzle faster” competition. Jonathan
finishes first, but he’s so messy he’s wrong. Ben knows what the picture should
be, so he’s trying to fix mistakes. But he’s too slow! Jonathan wins! I guess I
would be mostly OK with Ben winning, since he did get their on his own merit
and by knowing a ton of stuff. But Jonathan played the game really well and is
dorkily excited about things. Still wish Kaitlin had won though. Jonathan makes
a speech about how everyone is a strong competitor and whatever. Love and
rainbows for everyone. Barf. Jacob says you can love whatever excites you. Like
say, trashy reality shows. Hee.
Thanks for reading!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment