Sunday, March 17, 2013

TAR22, Recap Leg 5, 3/17/13

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on I Wonder If Luke Hated Watching Them Search Through Surfboards, teams raced from New Zealand to Bali. Dave did continue to race, and he and Connor racked up another first place finish.  John and Jessica were near the back of the pack, but John didn’t think they needed to use their Express Pass. This was a mistake, though, because they ended up in last place and were eliminated. John kept smiling creepily and said he had no regrets. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Toyouke here, because Kmanpat is in Turkey. I know, right? He said he was going to a bathhouse and the spice market, though. I told him to find an ice cream vendor.

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Dave/Connor, Team LIVESTRONG
2nd – Pam/Winnie, The Token Asians
3rd – Max/Katie, Team Honeymooners
4th – Caroline/Jennifer, Team Nashville Stars
5th – Joey/Meghan, Team YouTube Cutegasm
6th – Mona/Beth, "Typical" Soccer Moms
7th – Bates/Anthony, The Hockey Brothers
8th – Chuck/Wynona, Sweet Old Alabama

Uluwatu Surf Beach, Bali, Indonesia

5:01 AM Dave/Connor (1st)
Clue: Fly 2000 miles to Hanoi, Vietnam! Once there, make your way to the center of the city and find Rap Cong Nhan Theater. You will find your next clue inside Gallery 42.

Dave reveals that his orthopedic surgeon at home would recommend surgery within seven days (or has recommended? It’s not clear if he’s actually spoken to this guy or not). Therefore, they’re headed to Hanoi to be eliminated. What? Why not just leave from Bali?

5:21 AM Pam/Winnie (2nd) – who reveal there is a U-Turn ahead. They want to break up the YouTube/Roller Derby/JessicaJohn alliance, that has already been broken up, because they think none of these teams can run their own race.
5:25 AM Max/Katie (3rd)
7:20 AM Caroline/Jennifer (4th)
9:06 AM Joey/Meghan (5th) –who still eat/sleep/mingle at the Pit Stop, because they seem to be the first team who noticed Jessica and John weren’t around. Not counting teams that finished near them and know they were left behind. They’re nervous, because that’s what happens when you make an alliance in a RACE.
9:12 AM Mona/Beth (6th)
9:14 AM Bates/Anthony (7th)
9:23 AM Chuck/Wynona (8th) –who interview about how they’ve grown apart this last year. Uh oh.

Teams head for a travel agent to book their flights, and while the first three teams are there, Dave and Connor let everyone know they’re going to just quit once they get to Hanoi. This makes no sense to me. Why bother going to Hanoi at all? I don’t know. Anyway, Max and the girls discuss using the U-turn to get rid of Jessica and John. They talk about Team YouTube and “Roller Derby” also. Everyone goes to a travel agent, and then boards flights for Hanoi:

Flight 1, via Singapore, arrives…some time in the evening. They never tell us.
1) Dave/Connor
2) Pam/Winnie
3) Max/Katie

Flight 2, via Kuala Lumpur, arrives 9:30 PM
1) Caroline/Jennifer
2) Joey/Meghan
3) Mona/Beth
4) Bates/Anthony
5) Chuck/Wynona

Teams get cabs and leave the airport in the following order:

1- Max/Katie
2- Pam/Winnie – who have decided to tell everyone Dave and Connor are just at the doctor’s and surely are not quitting.
3- Mona/Beth
4- Joey/Meghan 
5- Caroline/Jennifer
6- Bates/Anthony
7- Chuck/Wynona

When they arrive at the theater, they discover the theater is open from 9 AM to 6 PM. It is currently 7:34 PM. Wow, they JUST missed it and everyone will be bunched! Instead of possibly the first flight arriving before the place closes for the evening! Sorry, but when you don’t tell me when the flight lands, I get suspicious. So everyone camps out in a hotel and waits for morning. Pam starts liking Max and Katie and feels bad for all the crap she’s said about them. Eventually everyone arrives and finds out John and Jessica were eliminated. Max makes fun of him (as he should) and the “alliance” is super offended.

Eventually everyone gets into the gallery. They are all really agitated about the U-Turn.

And once they enter, teams get the sixth roadblock clue.


Who’s ready to take in the sights and sounds of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam?

In this roadblock, roadblockers must watch a performance of a patriotic Vietnamese song. At the end, dancers will reveal a “celebrated” quote in Vietnamese (which translates to “Glory to Our Young Generation”). Sorry but I can’t get the characters to work right. After memorizing the words, teams will have 5 minutes (until the start of the next performance) to run to the next room and search for the quote on one of many political posters. Once the judge tells them they are “word perfect”, they will receive their next clue. Teams may not take notes.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Jen
2- Meghan – who teams up with Beth, each memorizing half the message.
3- Pam
4- Bates
5- Beth
6- Katie
7- Chuck

After many, many attempts (I mean, some of these posters are off by one letter! Evil!), teams finish the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Pam/Winnie – who are the only team that only has to watch one performance.
2- Chuck/Wynona
3- Max/Katie
4- Caroline/Jennifer
5- Joey/Meghan – who actually finish after two performances, but since they only found one poster, Meghan won’t leave Beth behind so she puts. It. Back.   
6- Mona/Beth
7- Bates/Anthony

Teams are now instructed to make their way to Cong Vien Thong Nhat and participate in the Mua Sapa, the Vietnamese Bamboo Dance. Teams arrive and dance in the following order:

1- Pam/Winnie
2- Chuck/Wynona – who do the dance wrong and have to repeat it. Four times.
3- Max/Katie   – who do the dance wrong and have to repeat it once.
4- Joey/Meghan
5- Bates/Anthony
6- Mona/Beth
7- Caroline/Jennifer – guess their cab driver got lost.

Teams now receive the Detour Clue.

Make Your Move OR Make Your Meal
*Make Your Move: Teams must set up a giant Chinese chess game, using human pieces scattered around the park. Using the example, teams must choose four pieces and find the people with the same characters and color on their clothing. Then they must place each piece in the right position. When they are correct, the chessmaster will give them their clue.
*Make Your Meal: Teams must make the national dish of Vietnam: pho. First they must pick up two empty baskets and two baskets of live chickens. Then they will have to purchase all the ingredients on their shopping list in specific amounts from the market. Once they have made two bowls of pho ga, the chef will give them their clue.

1- Pam/Winnie choose Make Your Move –They mess up the colors once.
2- Max/Katie choose Make Your Meal –who discover the shopping list is in English. Which the vendors generally don’t speak. Their translator screws them on the amounts of a couple things so they have to go back once. Max makes a dumbass comment about going to a restaurant in the US and scoffing because he’s had pho in Hanoi. Shut up, Max.
3- Joey/Meghan choose Make Your Move
4- Bates/Anthony choose Make Your Move
5- Mona/Beth choose Make Your Move
6- Chuck/Wynona choose Make Your Meal – who forget their chickens at first. Also they get really lost.
7- Caroline/Jennifer choose Make Your Move – who initially try to actually play the chess game and make moves.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Pam/Winnie
2- Bates/Anthony
3- Joey/Meghan 
4- Max/Katie 
5- Mona/Beth  
6- Caroline/Jennifer
7- Chuck/Wynona

Teams are now instructed to make their way to the B-52 Memorial, site of the wreckage of a B-52 that crashed there. When they arrive, teams find the U-Turn.


This is a Double U-Turn. Teams may choose to U-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is U-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is doubled, meaning two teams may U-Turn two other teams. This U-Turn is also blind, meaning any team that decides to use it will remain anonymous. Phil, during his explanation, does not say how many U-Turns there will be on this race.

1-Pam/Winnie choose to U-Turn Joey/Meghan – who were making stupid sad faces when they took the pictures for the U-Turn, so I LAUGH AT THEIR MISFORTUNE. I am an evil person.
2- Joey/Meghan have been U-Turned and choose to U-Turn Chuck/Wynona
3- Bates/Anthony cannot U-Turn
4- Max/Katie cannot U-Turn
5- Mona/Beth cannot U-Turn
6- Caroline/Jennifer cannot U-Turn
7- Chuck/Wynona have been U-Turned – interestingly, they believe that because Joey and Meghan’s pictures are above theirs on the board, that Joey and Meghan are the ones who U-Turned them. It’s true, just not because that’s where the picture is.

So now Joey/Meghan and Chuck/Wynona return to do the other Detour choice. Meghan whines that she knows everyone has an alliance with the hockey players and they’re all stupid because the hockey players will destroy them. Then why didn’t you U-Turn the hockey players? As Chuck and Wynona are still on their first Detour, they see Joey and Meghan. This helps them figure out to go back and get chickens. Someone tells everyone to give Joey and Meghan “the same as the other people”, without the information that the amounts are important, so they have to go back once.

Once they U-Turn (or are U-Turned) teams now find that they must go to the mat at Vietnam National Museum of History, the PIT STOP of the fifth leg of this racearoundtheworld.  The last team to arrive may be eliminated!

1- Pam/Winnie –who win a trip to Whistler! Including a cozy sleigh ride. Hee. Winnie: “We don’t want to feel super confident because that’s when you let your guard down. You can ask John.” BURN.
2- Max/Katie
3- Mona/Beth
4- Bates/Anthony
5- Caroline/Jennifer
6- Joey/Meghan – Meghan tries to be threatening about how “it is coming” but you can’t name your team “Team Cute” and then be threatening.
7- Chuck/Wynona

Dave and Connor skip all tasks and head straight to the Pit Stop in the morning, where they quit and Phil eliminates them. Dave doesn’t want to let Connor down, and Connor says Dave could never let him down and he’d rather run four legs with his dad then win a million dollars. Aww! Phil tells them to be proud. When Chuck and Wynona arrive, they are told that because Dave and Connor quit, they are still in it.

1st – Pam/Winnie
2nd – Max/Katie
3rd – Mona/Beth
4th – Bates/Anthony
5th – Caroline/Jennifer
6th – Joey/Meghan
7th – Chuck/Wynona

Next week: The Race travels to Botswana, where there is hunting, tree climbing, and scorpions.  Until next time!

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