Project Runway 10/6/11--"This Is for the Birds" summary

Previously on Project Runway: because apparently the band challenge wasn’t retro enough, we had to make “sophisticated 70s” clothes. Anya lost her money, but it didn’t matter because the next day they had to make a second look and they got more money. I saw some speculation that the second look was a last minute effort to prevent Anya from being totally screwed over, so that she wouldn’t have to be sent home. Wouldn’t be surprising. Of course Anya wins, and gets her jumpsuit produced for Piperlime. Bert had his dress sold too, but he didn’t win, so what was the deal with having two winners that time they did the New Balance challenge? With Josh? Anyway, then Anthony Ryan was sent home. (click for more)

Why on the “previously” segment is there a clip of Josh saying he’d like to spend more time with Bert?

Laura says the obligatory “now I know it’s real because everyone is so good” statement. Viktor thinks that Josh is the only one would could beat him, but Josh has serious editing issues.

Heidi pretends the judges have a difficult time kicking people out. She says this challenge involves “spreading your wings”. Uh huh. Someone speculates skydiving. But back in the workroom are Tim, Collier Strong, and several birds. Why can’t hot makeup guy do this? He’s the one actually DOING THINGS. These birds are loud, too. Tim looks vaguely nervous. The challenge is to be inspired by the birds for a “high fashion runway look”. Advertorial as the prize. Someone at L’Oreal decided to base makeup colors off of birds. Also that raven looks vicious. The winner will also get $20,000 cash. They will have to be “placed” in pairs. Kimberly is over the team challenges, and girl I am with you. Anya and Laura are paired up, and also Josh and Bert, and Viktor and Kimberly. Bert says he and Josh are OK now. Each pair will design for a bird, random selection. Anya and Laura get the raven, Josh and Bert the parrot (dear God, the crazy shit Josh is going to come up with), and Viktor and Kimberly get the cockatoo. No one gets the owl, which is too bad. Of course there is more. Tim reveals that this isn’t a team, this is a head-to-head competition. Actually I don’t mind that twist. One person from each pair will be on the top, and the other on the bottom. Kimberly points out they only have to worry about one other person.

I am sure there will be feathers somewhere. Bert hates the green and yellow parrot. Kimberly has already made a bird dress with feathers for the avant garde challenge. Josh wants to wear the bird.

30 minutes and $300 at Mood. Anya is working outside her comfort zone again. Is EVERYTHING outside her comfort zone? Oh, Josh is buying giant ostrich plumes in colors. I would expect nothing less.

Kimberly says she needs to keep her eye on Viktor because he’s good. Anya believes Laura is kind of edgy so she’s going to stay as far away from that design-wise. There is a lot of work being accomplished. Viktor is shredding his organza to looks like feathers. Or shredding it to insert feathers by hand? Tim comes in to talk about how the fashion industry is competitive, and that of course there is more to the challenge. Another high fashion look. For the same bird they are already using for inspiration. What is the POINT of this shit? Not a ready-to-wear look, not a look based on a different bird, not a look based on their competitor’s design. This isn’t a twist. This is just “do twice as much work”.

Anya goes out of her comfort zone again and I know everyone loves her but I am sick of hearing how she’s going out of her comfort zone and the judges always fall all over themselves about how wonderful she is. Laura is weaving ribbon. Whatever.

Bert knows that he and Josh are so different it probably won’t be hard to pick one of them for the win. It’s the end of the first day, everyone is behind, because the producers thought making one high-fashion look in two days wasn’t hard enough.

No one seems terribly excited about a long day of work and two dresses to finish. Josh is dissatisfied. Kimberly doesn’t have a lot on her dress form, and won’t put it up there. She plays it off to Viktor like she doesn’t want him to see what he’s going up against. Anya sees a giant cockroach, which is not cool. I mean, I hate bugs, but I would probably just step on it. Kimberly totally freaks out. Anya kills it with a platform pump, and PLEASE tell me she pulled that off the Piperlime wall, killed the roach, and then put it back, because that would go a long way towards making me like her.

Tim time! Actually technically Collier time, so whatever. You know that each girl is getting makeup in the colors that go with that bird in their special makeup line. The only interesting part is that Josh says he wants some random thing and Collier says it’s too much.

Viktor and Laura joke around with Bert, as apparently everyone has gotten used to him. Kimberly curses suddenly and asks if anyone knows how to get stains out of fabric. Uh oh. How did that happen? She is starting to freak out. Josh has a very large pile of brightly colored fabrics. I fully expect a Miss Universe national costume out of him. Anya and Viktor look at Kimberly’s looks and talk about how she’s doing. They seem to be pretty nice about it, in that they’re worried for her instead of talking about how her looks suck. Kimberly, meanwhile, is sewing and has driven the sewing needle through her finger. She comes back into the workroom, obviously upset and trying not to freak out about it. But she’s at that point when you have a really bad day, and then one little thing happens, and you completely lose your shit. And then everyone thinks you’re losing your shit about the one little thing, so now you are losing it and also worried everyone thinks you’re crazy. She goes into the bathroom and slams the door, and you hear her start to cry, and I have been there so I totally feel her. I would have been crying and screechy before I made it back to the workroom. She interviews that she’s lost a lot of loved ones, and she’ll just have to power through like she’s been doing.

Josh complains about his first look, which is truly pretty heinous. It’s like, green and yellow-green, with like, smocking in the bodice. Feh. He asks Anya for spare fabric, and she refuses to give him any. It’s too late in the competition to be helping others, she says. Josh, of course, bitches that she is giving him attitude and that she should remember the past and how he helped her out. I don’t recall him helping her out at any time. Then he declares he doesn‘t need her help anyway. Now he’s got a circle skirt with a big leaf cut-out or something. Anya talks to Bert about how to sew her stuff, and Josh is still complaining that she’s skating by with her lack of skills. Dammit, don’t make me agree with Josh. He’s really bitter she wouldn’t lend him any fabric.

Tim time! Laura has some wine colors, and Tim tells her to ditch some other fabric she has. Tim points out to Anya that one of her dresses has uneven arm holes. Tim asks Josh what is going on with his stuff, and he says “Qu’est-ce que c’est?” Josh asks “what’s a qu’est-ce que c’est?” Heh. Tim thinks the circle skirt is “crafty” and not in a good way. He loves the other look, though. Bert is not high fashion enough, but he argues that he can give high fashion with his taste level. Viktor’s feathering turned out really well, but the second look is too vintage and bridal. Kimberly has a tutu. Sadly it looks too costumey. When Tim tells her, she just kind of stands there. I think she’s given up. He cheerleads and tells her to stop thinking and feel. And then he says “You need a hug” so he hugs her. Aww.

Model fitting. Josh’s second look, which is a draped orange dress, looks pretty good. Bert thinks Josh is channeling him. Kimberly’s look, a sheer bodice with solid pieces over her breasts, is looking “vulgar” because her model’s boobs are too full or something. Her model takes off the dress, and I guess is putting it somewhere, or putting it down, and she puts it onto a hot glue gun. So now there’s a hole in it. Kimberly says she’s the one who put it down on the glue gun. So now she’s got to start over, and she comments that she’s going to make an “Anya move” and basically pull something out of her ass. Ha! She has three hours to make a new dress. Out of polyester lining.

Now it’s the day of the show, so we don’t know yet if Kimberly finished. Someone has written “may the best woman win” on the chalkboard. Honey, don’t you watch “RuPaul’s Drag Race?” Viktor has discovered that Kimberly has thrown together a one shouldered gown out her polyester, and immediately accuses her of copying him. OK, I was with you when you accused Josh, but I think maximum one person is a copier. Also a long gown with one shoulder is not that unique. Tim only gives them one hour to finish up. Also ANOTHER special announcement. No one looks happy. He says only one of their looks will walk the runway. Then why the FUCK did they have to make two? Is this because Kimberly ruined her dress? So we have to change it up like Anya last week so she’s not completely screwed? You could have had one wonderful look from each person, instead of two sort of half-assed looks, one of which will get a last minute spurt of futzing. Bert is irritated, and Josh is confused. Both his looks are pure Josh. Ugh. Anya has one finished look, and one that is cool but she’s not sure what she can finish on it. Kimberly is fitting…her three-hour dress? Really? We had this whole stupid twist FOR YOU and you’re using the dress you threw together late last night? What. Is. The damn. Point. Anya’s model is stuck in the dress. She has to take out a seam and then sew the model into it. Josh acts like no one ever does that on this show.

Guest judge is Francisco Costa, who works for Calvin Klein. Viktor: one shouldered dress in white or cream with a splash of light yellow on one side. The whole side is feathered, so it floats. I like it a lot. Kimberly: also a one shouldered white dress, with a high slit in the skirt. The bodice is two swaths of fabric, so there is an opening in the middle, then a strip of rhinestones, and a sleeve. So then both models walk out together, and it’s pretty close to the same dress. Kimberly tries to claim Viktor’s look isn’t as good because “we’ve seen this silhouette before”. You mean the same silhouette you made? Bert: long gown with a strapless sweetheart bodice in a metallic green-gray. The skirt is several layers of chiffon in different colors, greens and yellows, with a slit up the front. Josh: short orange draped dress, with some foofy accents on the one shoulder. It looks like he tried to make flowers or something. It looks like a short toga. But it’s better than that other thing he made, anyway. Anya: short black dress, with a mullet skirt and sharp shoulders. It’s very structured and the skirt is short all around. Laura: black jacket and pants. Everything is sleek. The jacket has a deep V and ruffles along the neckline in a wine color, and also a peplum. They both look kind of punk.

I forgot about that “After the Runway” thing, but I just saw a commercial implying that Josh storms off the set, so maybe it’s worthwhile? I’ll tape it and update next week if it’s good.

Everyone gets to stay. Anya wanted to do something with structure and texture. Heidi loves it, of course. You can see the raven but it’s not a costume. Nina says it’s her favorite outfit of Anya’s so far. It’s urban and Goth. Look, I don’t mind Anya, I think she’s a nice person, and I felt bad for her when she lost her money. But I don’t think she’s the best person here. Nina also praises Laura’s look, but maybe it’s too literal. It’s too much like a bird, which I don’t agree with. It’s edgier than what she usually does. Kors tries to claim it’s a costume, and on what planet are tight pants and a ruffled blazer a bird costume?! This is bullshit. Of course Anya has won this competition.

Bert admits he didn’t like the parrot, and also that this isn’t the strongest thing he could have done. That’s like Rebecca on Top Chef saying she’s a terrible cook. Shush. It’s not joyful enough. Josh “went for it” and parrots are exuberant. Nina knows Bert isn’t about colors, but the silhouette is not good either. Heidi and Francisco like the pop of color when she walks. Josh talks about his dress and you can see the hem looks kind of jacked up. He admits his first look had all kinds of crap going on. He gets praise for draping well, but then random crap on the shoulder! For Josh, this is a super-clean minimal look. He didn’t use the colors of the bird, but the “exuberance” of the bird came through. Josh promises to listen and edit.

Kimberly tries to spin her look as planned, but Heidi knows her first dress was jacked up. She pretends like she’s going to blame Viktor but she kind of doesn’t. Kors praises that she looks like she’ll fall out of the dress but she won’t. Apparently this is a good thing. They really like it. Nina thinks it’s pageanty. They really love Viktor’s shredded feather effect. But it’s too literal. Whatever. Heidi thinks they copied each other. They continue to tell Viktor he’s too literal and that he lost, and he could have used actual feathers! At least it really is like feathers, unlike Laura‘s.

Anya had great construction and went out of her comfort zone, and we don’t grade on a curve, Kors. Josh’s dress was bold, which was important for a parrot. Kors says it’s easy to wear, and Francisco asks if he would wear it, and Kors says “Well, I happen to be a, a very much an orange kind of guy”, and that made me glad, that he admitted it. Kimberly pushed herself too, and it worked. The people in the bottom were too literal. Viktor had great construction skills, and they didn’t say much that was bad about him. Bert just made a sad dress, but the hidden colors in the skirt were kind of nice. And then they still bitch that Laura made something literal. Are you serious? Viktor, OK, feathery and literal. Don’t tell me skinny pants and ruffles are literal. That is a crock of BS. A peplum is not a tail.

Anya is apparently the clear winner. What-the-fuck-EVER. She’s going to win, isn’t she. Stupid. Josh is in. He pretends not to be mad about how he lost to Anya. Kimberly is in. Viktor is in. Laura is in. Huh. I thought with all their bitching about how she made something literal when it was not literal at all, that she was out. Heidi says that Bert is great but this wasn’t his challenge. He’s not surprised, because he didn’t like his look anyway. Bert says cleaning up his space may take a while. He’s had a great experience.

Stupid advertorial with stupid Collier Strong and not hot makeup guy. Boo.

Next week: who knows? There is a preview of the After the Runway thing and Laura Bennet and Josh get into it and Josh? She will eat you alive. Now I’m glad I am taping it for later.