TAR19, Recap Leg 6, 10/30/11

Welcome to Leg 6! Last time, on One Day in Bangkok, teams continue to race through Thailand. There are elephants, and the twins orchestrate their own removal by running out of money. Amani and Marcus manage to get their first win. Who will be eliminated . . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Amani/Marcus, Team Football
2nd – Bill/Cathi, The Grandparents
3rd – Ernie/Cindy, Team Chinatown
4th – Justin/Jennifer, Team Patience
5th – Andy/Tommy, The Snowboarders
6th – Laurence/Zac, The Adventurers
7th – Jeremy/Sandy, Team Tryout

M.R. Kukrit Heritage House, Bangkok, Thailand

7:22 AM Amani/Marcus (1st) – who talk about their daughter with special needs.

Clue: Fly to Lilongwe, Malawi! Once there, find Gate 7 of the Tobacco Warehouse to get your next clue. You have $186 for this leg of the race.

(Toyouke: “Tobacco warehouse. Fun.”)

7:23 AM Bill/Cathi (2nd)
7:24 AM Ernie/Cindy (3rd) – who discuss their need to minimize mistakes.
7:29 AM Justin/Jennifer (4th) – and Jennifer talks about how she teaches special ed students. (Toyouke: “Why suddenly is the theme of this episode "Special Ed"?”)
8:06 AM Andy/Tommy (5th)
8:07 AM Laurence/Zac (6th)
9:22 AM Jeremy/Sandy (7th) – (Toyouke: “Hmmm. Friends before dating. You would think they'd know each other well enough and there wouldn't be stupid fights.”)

Teams arrive at Suvarnabhumi International Airport in the following order:

1- Amani/Marcus
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Justin/Jennifer
5- Andy/Tommy
6- Laurence/Zac
7- Jeremy/Sandy

Amani and Marcus find that their only option is to fly from Bangkok to Singapore to Johannesburg to Lilongwe, and that all teams will be on the Amazing Red Line together. (Toyouke: “Boo. I wanted a charter or a train.” Auburnium0513: "Woo. Bunching.")

Once there, teams depart in the following order:

1- Jeremy/Sandy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Laurence/Zac
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Bill/Cathi

Teams arrive at the Tobacco Warehouse in the following order:

1- Jeremy/Sandy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Andy/Tommy
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Amani/Marcus

And once they arrive, teams get the seventh roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who’s ready to put up bale?

In this roadblock, one team member must wear a uniform and transport 10 200 pound bales of tobacco from one side of the warehouse to the other in order to get their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Jeremy
2- Justin
3- Ernie
4- Laurence
5- Tommy
6- Bill
7- Marcus

After much tobacco transporting, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jeremy/Sandy
2- Ernie/Cindy
3- Justin/Jennifer
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Laurence/Zac
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Amani/Marcus

Teams are now instructed to travel to Memorial Tower to get their next clue. (Toyouke: “You know what else you could see from a distance? A CLUE BOX.”) They arrive at the memorial in the following order:

1- Jeremy/Sandy
2- Ernie/Cindy
3- Justin/Jennifer
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Laurence/Zac
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Amani/Marcus

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
All Sewn Up OR Not Grown Up
*All Sewn Up: Teams must travel to White Horse De-sign in Old Market, choose a customer, and stitch up their unfinished suit coat and pants. Once the customer is satisfied, he will give them their next clue.
*Not Grown Up: Teams must travel to Lilongwe LEA School and build two toy trucks with recycled materials for the kids of the school. Once the children test drive them and approve of their construction, teams get their next clue.

1- Jeremy/Sandy choose Not Grown Up
2- Justin/Jennifer choose Not Grown Up – (Toyouke: “Oh please Justin. Making that truck is not like surgery.”)
3- Andy/Tommy choose Not Grown Up
4- Laurence/Zac choose Not Grown Up – Laurence: “The women will school me in sewing.” (Toyouke: “Laurence. That is sexist. Not all women know how to sew.) Upon arriving at the Detour he mentions to Sandy that he thought for sure she would be at the other Detour as "you'll never get married if you can't sew." (Toyouke: "Ass. It's one thing to think that all women sew, it's another to say so to whatever women you see. "You won't get married" are you serious? I'm glad the scissors cut you.”)
5- Bill/Cathi choose All Sewn Up
6- Ernie/Cindy choose All Sewn Up – (Toyouke: “That is an ominous discussion of how you are not using the Express Pass.”)
7- Amani/Marcus choose All Sewn Up

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jeremy/Sandy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Ernie/Cindy
5- Laurence/Zac
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Amani/Marcus

Teams are then instructed to travel to R-K Furniture Shop in Ntchisi. So, teams arrive in the following order:

1- Justin/Jennifer
2- Jeremy/Sandy
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Amani/Marcus

Teams are now instructed to pick up two beds and take them to Kumbali Village, the PIT STOP of the sixth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Andy/Tommy – who win a trip for 2 to a private island in the British Virgin Islands. Once again this is by default, because. . .
2- Justin/Jennifer – neglected to pay their truck driver. (Toyouke: “O.M.G. The snowboarders win FOR THE THIRD TIME because someone else is a dumbass. Seriously. Every other season, we'd be lucky for ONE Pit Stop finish order to be changed because of stupidity. Let alone THREE finishes by the SAME team.”)
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Bill/Cathi - who also forgot to pay their cab driver.
7- Amani/Marcus

Amani and Marcus, you are the last team to arrive. However, this is the third of four non-elimination legs, and you are still in the race. You will have a Speed Bump on the next leg.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Andy/Tommy
2nd – Justin/Jennifer
3rd – Jeremy/Sandy
4th – Laurence/Zac
5th – Ernie/Cindy
6th – Bill/Cathi
7th – Amani/Marcus

Next week: Teams find themselves on bicycles in Malawian traffic. And teams go canoeing and/or swimming in Lake Malawi. Until next time!
Clicky clicky

Project Runway 10/27/11--"Finale Part Two" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Absolutely. Nothing. Oh, Tim visited everyone and people were in various stages of freaking out and Anya had literally nothing. And then everyone came back to New York and showed their stuff. And Anya was pretty bad but so was Kimberly, for some reason, but when it came right down to it they “couldn’t make a decision” so everyone went through. So really, no one was eliminated, therefore nothing happened. 90 minutes I’ll never get back. Hell, how many hours of this season? I suppose I’ve wasted my life on worse things. (click for more)

OK, let’s do this. Anya knows she didn’t show her best work yesterday. She also knows Josh is upset, and while I don’t like Josh, I don’t like this stupid twist either. Viktor knows that now he has feedback from the judges, which can be used to tweak his collection until it’s perfect.

Tim comes in and says that he loved the things the judges said that hated. Including Josh’s weird caftan/leggings/whatever the hell that was. Oh, TIM. I’ll agree with you about Viktor’s dress with the jacket. However, he seems to be in agreement with the judges about Anya. And then suddenly they are getting an additional $500 to go to Mood. What? Seriously? Oh, I can’t imagine WHY they would do that. It’s not like someone, say, a former beauty queen maybe, is in serious trouble and needs several new looks. I mean, the last time they sprung a surprise windfall on the designers was when Anya lost her money. And no one lost their money this time! Look, I’m going to call it right now. The producers want Anya to win. Maybe the judges do too, I don’t know. But she showed up with complete crap for a collection and magically everyone made it to the final runway show and now they are all getting extra money to make new clothes. They didn’t even do that “oh, an extra look that you have to make now that ties things together” that they like to do.

Everyone just sits around and discusses what they’re going to do, even Viktor, who had a great gown that was very dramatic but he didn’t like it. They go shopping. Anya claims she’s’ just picking out things that she likes and not thinking about it. Kimberly spends $499.95. Nice.

They have the rest of today to make whatever they want. Viktor has bought some sheers. Anya is planning to make three complete new looks. Josh has purchased neon green, and orange and yellow stripes. Ha! They all get hair consults which is never exciting but I suppose the product placement pays the bills. Josh makes hot pants in neon lime green. Viktor suggests he should maybe finish the collection he has instead of making random new things. He’s irritated he’s’ not done, but…your own fault, dude. He totally loses it, to Anya of all people, because he has nothing and he’s going back to nothing unless he wins and he doesn’t want to rush it and so forth.

In the morning, it’s the day before the runway. See, that was misleading yesterday. They made it sound like they only had one day to work. Viktor makes an analogy about holding a motorcycle. Kimberly says she can’t change her mind anymore. Anya of course is very far behind. Josh is perhaps getting energy from his hot pink sleeveless hoodie. Stupid consults with Collier and not hot makeup guy.

Tim time! Kimberly is up first. Tim doesn’t like her pink skirt because it’s overworked in front. She doesn’t know how she’s going to fix it though. There are a lot of things she has planned but she doesn’t know what exactly she’s going to do. Anya apparently got that advice to “pull whatever fabric you want” from Tim. She says that she feels more herself, but “100% it’s not my best work”. The rest of her conversation sounds like she’s been eliminated: I’ve learned a lot, it was a great experience, stuff like that. Viktor is removing two of his prints to edit. He’s got a long black sheer gown. Josh of course has his new neon colors. Tim hates it. It doesn’t’ go with the “vibe” of his other clothes. And then some things are tacky.

Josh was confused by the critique he got, although his explanation seems to be “I am confused because this is what I was going to do.” Kimberly has finishing to do but on everything. Anya thinks she might have more than 10 looks but not 10 she wants to show. Viktor might cut some things too.

Model fittings. Josh loves everything. I think he wants people to look closely at his clothes and discover their beauty. Anya likes her silhouettes. Viktor curses at the sewing machine. Anya is working up to the last minute, laying the dresses on the floor and cutting hems. The dresses just look like swaths of fabric.

Runway show! It is damn early. Everyone is excited to show, and carefully doesn’t mention how they aren’t the only ones showing today. Kimberly says it’s anyone’s game at this point, bless her heart. The usual last minute freaking out occurs. Kimberly loses her sewing kit and freaks out. Anya lends her stuff. Anya appears to be still sewing.

Finally. Pictures of collections are from Blogging Project Runway Guest judge is L’Wren Scott.

Kimberly is up first. She says this is where she comes from, and her mom was her inspiration. Collection here A lot of her skirts fit weird. Like, they’re pretty short, and they ride up in front or in back or something. But it’s very colorful and it seems to go together.

Josh is second. Collection here He dedicates it to his mom, of course. All his models have big heavy booties on and they drag the clothes down. It’s very Josh: loud colors everywhere. Tim is backstage with each designer as their collection walks, telling them how great they are. It’s weird.

Viktor’s collection He’s made himself a vest out of one of his prints. He was inspired by the city. The stuff with the prints is fantastic, but the new sheer stuff he just made is weird and doesn’t go with the prints. Oo, the long sheer gown is not good. The one with the cheetah spots. But he made a black tank and pants to go with that leather jacket. Just like they told him to.

Anya is last, which somehow doesn’t surprise me one bit. Collection here She dedicates her collection to her brother. The first girl comes out holding the skirt of the dress so you can see how it flows, but you shouldn’t have to help it along, I don’t think. The long green and gold outfit is actually pants. And she has a dress with a modesty tab and the judges absolutely NAILED Josh for that the other week.

Best sound bite is from Jaybird, who says he doesn’t like Josh’s personality but he liked the collection. I love you Jay.

Judging time. That means this is almost over. Everyone talks about their inspiration and their collection even though they did that last week. Kors gives her praise for doing everything they said but still staying true to herself. They liked everything except for the big flowy print with the fuchsia skirt underneath. That wasn’t so great. Heidi likes the pants. The pink dress with the jacket is really great. Nina likes that Kimberly can take rich fabrics and make them easy and modern. Heidi claims to have gotten Josh’s point of view and she liked his weird tacky print. Kors praises his editing and styling, which I must admit, the styling is pretty good. He has a vision which he owns. Nina says “most improved”. Huh. His weird green shorts, that had laces up the front, Nina hated them on the runway. But in the little lookbook she has, they are interesting to her. Kors says he made his gimmicky fabrics look believable, to which I say ha!

Kors thinks Viktor’s sheers are too must of a “runway joke”. Heidi says what I did, which is that the sheers and the original collection of prints do not go together. Nina tells him he should have mixed the sheers and prints in the same outfits, which is bullshit because last week they told him not to pile things together. But whatever. Kors actually criticizes Anya and says that she lost diversity in the shapes of her pieces. Kors loved the first one, and tells her she should push it. And then he says she needs variety, even though last week they told her to make Caribbean clothes. L’Wren tells her her outfits won’t work on a variety of body types. Nina repeats what Kors said. Seriously? Last week you were like “this isn’t you, where is the easy Caribbean flow, blah blah”. Pff.

Everyone says why they should win, but it’s the same thing they said the last time they asked that question.

Kimberly had a lot of great clothes, but maybe they didn’t make the greatest collection. You can see her point of view, though, and it’s not a common point of view. Nina thinks she needs more time to mature. Viktor’s collection was beautiful, but not perfectly connected. It was like he had two collections. The prints were absolutely fantastic, but the sheers did not work. It would be commercially successful. All of Anya’s work is done last minute. For some reason they give her extra credit for this. Lots of V-necks. They think she’ll evolve and grow, but not everyone can wear the clothes she makes now. Also everything is a loose flowing dress. Kors argues that it all went together, at least. Nina claims she is smart enough to make different clothes next collection. Josh’s collection is described as fun and with good tailoring. And they laugh at his horrid styling that he used to have. They like that people might like plastic now. Nina says he has maybe too many ideas, but he does have ideas. Anya has a very distinct and “unique” point of view. But Josh’s clothes today have more design to them.

Heidi praises everyone. She talks to Kimberly last, because she’s out. Kimberly doesn’t look very surprised. She says they’re already winners, because they showed at Fashion Week. She’s grateful to have made it all the way to the end. Viktor is out. Bullshit. I mean, I’m not surprised, but it’s stupid. He’s disappointed, but he knows his line represents him. Anya is the winner. Oh, I never saw it coming. How could we have guessed. Josh, bless him, says his collection was better and Anya’s was beautiful but maybe not well sewn. Anya’s thrilled, she did it, she’s made her country proud. All the usual things.

So, Gretchen last season and now Anya? I smell another large exodus of people. Bye everyone. Clicky clicky

Top Chef: Just Desserts 10/26/11--"Finale" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: the final four are tasked with making dessert that doesn’t look like dessert, but instead like an iconic dish from another country. Everyone picked out countries and got to work. Chris decided beef Wellington was from France, which involved some mighty stretching from Johnny so they wouldn’t have to penalize him for it. Sally made a pretend Cuban sandwich and potato salad, and she won. Orlando made pretend paella, and was sent home, which was slightly unexpected but at least it made him humble. (click for more)

We begin with horseplay and Matthew in boxers, which is a fine way to begin the morning. Everyone talks about how excited they are to be here, and how much it would mean to them if they won. With the added bonus of Sally mentioning that she isn’t married and doesn’t have any kids; all she has is her career.

Johnny and Gail greet the final three and tell them they must make a display table with: a showpiece, an entremet cake, a bread “element“, bon bons, and “one more daring special thing”. Johnny starts talking about those special creations you make, and he says he made his mother’s last birthday cake, right before she died. He actually has to stop for a moment before he can continue. See, that right there will do more to endear me to Johnny than weeks of his commentary. Aww. The “one more daring special thing” is to make a dessert for “that one special person”. Gail says there are special guests, and out come Jacques Torres, Sebastien Canonne, and Stephane Treand. So I’ve heard of Jacques Torres. I don’t doubt that they’re awesome, I’m just saying. Johnny says they each hold the title of MOF, which is a title you can only get in France by being a complete master of pastry. They will be advisors and mentors, and will be around for the final tasting. Wow. I thought they might be sous chefs, but I guess not.

Sally knows she will have trouble making a showpiece. And she’s up against Chris. So she’s going to stick to techniques she knows, and maybe concentrate on flowers or something. Matthew is completely inspired by his wife. Jacques questions everything he says but Matthew is pretty confident. Chris is going industrial.

5 hours to cook. The Frenchmen hover and watch everyone and make them nervous. Well, except Chris, who says he’s competed and been judged by Jacques before so he’s used to it. Sally brags that she doesn’t make anything ordinary. Matthew is a restaurant pastry chef, and the other two have been in competitions before. This only fires him up. Then all of a sudden Sebastien is zesting limes and helping and doing dishes. Jacques makes fun of him and wants to take a picture. Heh. When time is up, everyone seems to be in a pretty good mood.

In the morning when everyone arrives they are greeted with the previously eliminated contestants. Sally is jogging in to start working and she doesn’t even look over there at first. Also she seems really thrilled to see people, even though she complained about several of them. Everyone gets two people. Do you get to choose your people? Of course not. Everyone has a cookie with a number, and the finalists will pick numbers and that’s who they’re stuck with. Sally picks Van, and she sort of smiles but is not thrilled. Matthew gets Megan, who he says is better than Van and will work as hard as he does. Chris selects Rebecca. For the second person, they get to actually pick out people, so Sally picks Orlando, Matthew takes Carlos, and Chris picks Amanda.

10 hours to cook today. Everyone explains their ideas to their sous chefs. Chris basically tells Rebecca he doesn’t know if he’ll have anything he wants her to do. He doesn’t trust her skills. Sally is thrilled to get Orlando, because she can have him do her showpiece. She also is the one to notice that pastry competitions involve teams of three also. Matthew has not done sugar showpieces before, really, and he’s going to challenge himself to do one. Sally decides to make her plated dessert for her mom and sister, with coffee. Orlando gets time to speak, and admits he did not want to work with anyone, but professionally, he has to own the fact that he lost so now he has to do what he’s told. Matthew is combining peanut butter and key lime. Sally puts an insert in her entremet, and realizes it’s too small. Now the cake is ruined and she has to start over. Or at least that layer? Anyway, she’s behind. Chris has a mechanical inspiration, but with flowers. Orlando is making a ton of the showpiece, but Sally is behind so she feels she doesn’t have a choice. There is a TON of flailing and running around. Footage of moving showpieces and how everyone freaks out when moving those things. Time is up, and the sous chefs leave. People seem confident. Well, Sally and Chris say they think they’re good, but Matthew is suspiciously quiet.

The diners and judges (who have been given champagne) come in and stare at everyone for a while, and then start walking around to look at showpieces. They really are impressive. Matthew’s showpiece is clear sugar and red accents. It’s cool looking. Entremet: hazelnut dacquois, passion fruit gelee, milk jam, whipped chocolate. Gail likes the complex texture. Bread: focaccia with olive oil, fresh thyme, sea salt. Bon bon: key lime ganache and speculoos (cookie dough that somehow has roasted flour). Everything looks good.

Sally is up next. Her showpiece is swirly and has great flowers and is Orlando. The same colors are repeated throughout her showpiece and also the food. She also admits Orlando did a ton of the showpiece. Entremet: chocolate mouse, mango vanilla cream, caramel cremeux, lime and almond sponge. Bread: parker house roll with bacon, onions, and gruyere. Yum. Bon bon: salted caramel milk chocolate. It looks swirly.

Chris’s showpiece has what look like iron bars, and then bright orange flowers that I think are sugar. Sadly one of his brioche buns has fallen off. When Johnny points that out, he points out that he did it by himself with no help from his sous chefs. Entremet: chocolate mousse, vanilla cremeux, and raspberry jam. He says he wanted the jam to be “saucy and loose”, and Gail says that describes her and Dannielle. Heh. Bread: brioche with bacon maple butter. Johnny (who is pretty bitchy; does he not like Chris?) says he put more effort into his condiment than his bread, and Chris says that condiments are important. Bon bon: coffee infused ganache and caramel. The chocolate shell is speckled, which sadly looks like the chocolate is separating or something. I think it’s just his design, but it’s unfortunate. It’s served with one bon bon on top of a girder thing. Gail sends them back to plate their last dessert in 20 minutes.

Sally has to cut the glaze from her dish because she’s out of time. White chocolate espresso mousse, chocolate cremeux, cashew nougatine, and ice cream. It’s a chocolate sphere with the mousse and nougatine inside. They say technically it’s amazing, but you could see the mousse through the dome. But it all tastes good.

Matthew was the only one to have a lot of color, as his showpiece is sugar and not chocolate. Dark chocolate cake, raspberry mousse, pecan streusel, and milk ice cream. And some cookie dough. It’s a long plate that is playful. It appears that the chocolate chip cookies he talked about were deconstructed, but that causes someone to just want chocolate chip cookies.

Chris’s bon bon gets high praise. Butter almond cake, banana caramel, banana ice cream, and mango sauce. He was inspired by one of his previous pastry competitions, when he was still dating his wife. The desserts are good, but they don’t seem to connect to his story.

At Judges’ Table, Matthew gets praise for his bon bons, and also they grill him about how he made a sugar showpiece instead of a chocolate one, which seems to have paid off. Johnny complains about his plated dessert being too busy. Sally had a good flavor throughout, but of course they ask about Orlando doing all of the showpiece, and Chris smirks. She seems to explain well, and then she admits she left the glaze off her plated dessert. Chris had a great showpiece, but it fell apart and no one else’s did. But Johnny says that he ate all of Chris’s plated dessert and did not do that with the other two.

Sally wins the bread course, Chris (I think) wins the bon bon course, Chris and Sally seem to be tied for entremet. Johnny seems really unhappy that Sally didn’t make her whole showpiece herself, but Dannielle points out that she understood she couldn’t do showpieces and picked a helper that would compensate for that. And Chris’s showpiece fell apart. Chris’s plated dessert was the most delicious, even though it was not the most complicated.

In the cell phone poll, Matthew seems to be winning, but the judges give Chris the win. The eliminated contestants are there, and they spray him with champagne. He says he’s going to be Matthew’s friend forever. Sally is happy for him.

Next week: Padma, Tom, and the 29 contestants of Top Chef. Clicky clicky

TAR19, Recap Leg 5, 10/23/11

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on Phuket All, teams head to Thailand and the island of Phuket. The twins forget to exchange their money before changing countries, and the snowboarders stay ahead of the pack. But the twins fall behind and are not eliminated! Who will be eliminated . . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Andy/Tommy, The Snowboarders
2nd – Justin/Jennifer, Team Patience
3rd – Jeremy/Sandy, Team Tryout
4th – Laurence/Zac, The Adventurers
5th – Ernie/Cindy, Team Chinatown
6th – Amani/Marcus, Team Football
7th – Bill/Cathi, The Grandparents
8th – Liz/Marie, Twinderellas

Koi Panyi, Phang Nga, Thailand

10:07 AM Andy/Tommy (1st) – who have various scripture passages written on their book bags. And they aren’t the traditional ones.

Clue: Travel by songthaew to Ton Pariwat Wildlife Conservation Area, and travel by elephant to your next clue. You have $186 for this leg of the race.

(Toyouke: “I want a clue box.”)

11:01 AM Justin/Jennifer (2nd)
11:44 AM Jeremy/Sandy (3rd)
11:45 AM Laurence/Zac (4th)
11:52 AM Ernie/Cindy (5th)
11:53 AM Amani/Marcus (6th)
12:22 PM Bill/Cathi (7th)
1:35 PM Liz/Marie (8th) – who lost their father right before filming. Just in case you forgot.

Teams arrive at Ton Pariwat in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

However, once they arrive, Liz and Marie find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this speed bump, teams must clean up elephant dung and clean their elephant to receive their next clue.

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Liz/Marie – (Toyouke: “Why are you so excited about shoveling manure?”)

After much cleaning, they continue with the rest of the teams on boarding the elephants in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

(Toyouke: “I got my eyebrow pop back but they took the clue boxes. Broke ass bucket.”)

And once they arrive, teams get the fifth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who wants to hear some Water Music?

In this roadblock, one team member follow the sound of a traditional flute to a pool and find the clue in the murky water.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Andy
2- Justin
3- Sandy
4- Laurence
5- Marcus
6- Cindy
7- Cathy
8- Marie

After much diving, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Laurence/Zac
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Ernie/Cindy
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie


Teams are now instructed to travel to a nearby shop and pick up a spirit house. Teams are then instructed to deliver it to Wat Chalong to get their next clue. They arrive at the shop in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Ernie/Cindy
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

Teams then take apart the spirit house. Some of them remember that they are on the Amazing Race, and try to remember how everything is arranged. So, teams arrive at Wat Chalong in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy – (Toyouke: “I'm glad the snowboarders thought ahead. Even though the clue doesn't say "You must reassemble your spirit house" they knew they might have to.”)
2- Justin/Jennifer – (Toyouke: “Oh, a camera phone. Actually that is pretty clever.”)
3- Laurence/Zac
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

And once they arrive, teams get the sixth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

*No Question Shown*

In this roadblock, the other team member must rebuild the Spirit House perfectly to get their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Tommy – (Toyouke: “And see? It paid off. That is a thing we would totally do. Although, shut up about how God is better than that temple. I want to like you.” God: "...I think it's a pretty nice temple."”)
2- Jennifer
3- Zac – who runs into problems because his father told him not to take notes.
4- Jeremy
5- Ernie
6- Amani
7- Bill
8- Liz

After much rebuilding, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Ernie/Cindy
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

Teams are now told to take a bus for 550 miles to Bangkok by traveling to Phuket Bus Depot. Once they arrive, they should find Bangkok Noi Canal to feed the fish and get their next clue.

Teams arrive at the bus depot in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Ernie/Cindy – (Toyouke: “Yeah...when you ask the guy if he'll take American and he says "no", you can't give him American.”)
8- Liz/Marie

Teams get on busses as follows:

Bus 1: Departs at 4:30 PM
1) Andy/Tommy
2) Justin/Jennifer
3) Jeremy/Sandy

Bus 2: Departs at 4:30 PM
1) Laurence/Zac – but they realize they are on a first class bus, so instead they stop the bus, get out, run 3 miles back to the bus depot and get on a second class bus that departs at 8 pm.

Bus 3: Departs at 5:30 PM
1) Amani/Marcus
2) Bill/Cathi

Bus 4: Departs at 5:30 PM
1) Ernie/Cindy – which is also first class, but they don’t seem to care.

Bus 5: Departs at 8 PM
1) Liz/Marie – who actually miss the bus due to not having enough money for their cab, and then get the cab driver to take them out to the bus for free when it stops to wait for them.

So, then after all the travelling, teams arrive in Bangkok in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Justin/Jennifer
5- Bill/Cathi
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Laurence/Zac
8- Liz/Marie

(Toyouke: “See? Bunching mid-leg means that your placement basically depends on how fast your bus was.”) Teams now travel to the Bangkok Noi Canal and arrive in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Amani/Marcus
4- Andy/Tommy – who give their clue to a teacher...who promptly takes it and leaves to go teach. (God: "Eh...you were rude about the temple. I think I'm in the tub.")
5- Jeremy/Sandy
6- Justin/Jennifer
7- Laurence/Zac
8- Liz/Marie – who are forced to beg free rides from people because they don't have any money. (Toyouke: “Another team could not get free rides, I bet. Hot young blonde girls? No problem.”)

Teams are now instructed to make their way to M.R. Kukrit Heritage Home, the PIT STOP of the fifth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Amani/Marcus – who win a trip for 2 to Bali.
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Justin/Jennifer
5- Andy/Tommy
6- Laurence/Zac
7- Jeremy/Sandy – Phil: “I can eliminate you if you want.”
8- Liz/Marie

And sadly, Liz and Marie . . . are eliminated. And they love their father.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Amani/Marcus
2nd – Bill/Cathi
3rd – Ernie/Cindy
4th – Justin/Jennifer
5th – Andy/Tommy
6th – Laurence/Zac
7th – Jeremy/Sandy

Next week: Malawi! Tobacco! Bed Frames? Until next time!


Clicky clicky

Project Runway 10/20/11--"Finale Part One" summary

Previously on Project Runway: when asked to be inspired by sculpture, everyone mostly was inspired, even Laura, who was inspired by circles and was eliminated. For some reason they didn’t like her literal circles. Everyone tried to continue the drama, especially Josh, but it’s gotten very old and when asked who he would take with him to Fashion Week, he didn’t even have the balls to own up to it. Instead he pretended he respected Anya, even though he spent most of the challenge bitching about how she won instead of him. (click for more)

Look, I’ll be honest with all of you. I really do not care about this finale. I don’t care who wins today. I don’t even really care who wins this season. I already know what will happen: Josh and Anya will be safe, and either Viktor will be out for being too commercial, or Kimberly will be out because she’s not commercial enough. Or some other arbitrary and completely ridiculous criteria that make absolutely no sense. Or they’ll act like they can’t decide and they’ll have a final four. It’s just irritating at this point and I’m pretty much done with it.

Heidi only gives them five weeks to make a 10 look collection, because Lifetime fails at planning and as a consequence, they were still filming this season when it premiered in the summer. Everyone talks about how they’re tired and they can’t believe they’re going to make a collection and they’re excited and all the things they always say. Kimberly starts to say she’ll miss people, but then she stops and says she’s just excited to be going home.

Tim goes to Kimberly’s house first. She says she’s been working hard. Her studio is painted the exact shade of Kmanpat’s dining room. She talks about “urban girl transformed”. There are a lot of colors, with some great jewelry. Tim says this is totally her, and then tells her to take some risks. Kimberly does not want to bore Nina. Hee. Her sister and best friends are upstairs to hang out with Tim. Kimberly is inspired by her mom and she really wants to represent African-Americans in the fashion industry.

Then Tim gets to travel to Trinidad, that bastard. Of course he is out on some dock somewhere in his suit. He says he didn’t think Anya would recognize him if he went casual. You could at least wear jeans, Tim. Anya’s brother sounds just like her and is very supportive. She has some colors picked out, but she says she’s not clear on what shapes she wants, or garments, so she’s behind. And then she admits she hasn’t been able to draw any new shapes. Tim is concerned, naturally, but she’s been in a rut. He tries to encourage her to get out of this rut. Oh, like Anya isn’t going to pull a collection out of her ass and the judges won’t tell her it’s the greatest collection ever.

Viktor is up next. He’s thinking “urban coast”. He already has a clear vision and fantastic jackets and things. He has one gown that Tim thinks might be flat. But I think overall Tim is impressed. Viktor’s boyfriend is super cute and they toast Viktor and talk about Viktor’s growing up in Mexico.

Sigh. Time for Josh. For some reason they’re meeting Tim in a restaurant, Josh and his sister. Which restaurant is completely empty which is weird. He did a lot of sports but now he’s left that behind. Josh doesn’t have as much done as he would like, but it all has a direction, he says. He’s found some patchwork bright fabric, and some green and blue fuzzy fabric that makes me dizzy. A lot of neon colors. Tim is forced to think of ice cream and cheap and that’s not good for him. In the end Tim has rejected 5 or 6 of Josh’s fabrics. There is one dress that makes Tim want to weep, and of course Josh says this is the “center” of his collection. Once Tim leaves Josh has two pieces left that he thinks he can use. Good.

Time for everyone to come back to New York and hang out in a swank hotel. There’s a terrace. Gorgeous. Josh shows up first and cries about how his mom should be there. The girls show up next and shriek and laugh. Let’s hope someone starts a Jay-Karasaun-Wendy Pepper-level fight. Tim brings them champagne. Tomorrow they will get started. There are no fights that night, sadly.

Everyone unpacks and eyeballs everyone else’s collections and interviews about how everyone else sucks. Tim comes in and says they will need to show three looks tomorrow. Model fitting will not be until tomorrow. Viktor has a cropped white jacket with a ton of texture on the sleeves. It’s fantastic. Josh finally says something nice about someone else and admits he’s kind of afraid now. Josh interviews that it’s about staying true to himself, and also that his collection is completely different from when Tim showed up to his house. He’s showing some black and white looks, and some color, but it doesn’t go together. Kimberly needs to make up her mind and pick out three looks. At the moment she can’t decide. Anya has actual completed clothing now. It’s all very Anya, therefore Tim is disappointed. She’s feeling mighty low because it seems this may be the first time she’s gotten a negative review. She can’t start over now, though.

Anya is obviously flustered, and Josh can barely restrain his glee. She’s seriously is saying she’s let down all of her family and the town and the country and it’s horrible. Josh wants to show his great use of color. Kimberly has to pull it together. Anya is still freaking out.

In the morning everyone gets ready and is nervous. Viktor says he’s finished, while everyone else is still working, so he’s got an advantage. The models come in and immediately a zipper breaks on one of Anya’s pieces. She doesn’t have time to fix it, so she’s going to use another piece. Josh is putting turquoise heels with bright pink pants. Viktor gets makeup. No really. Viktor and Josh talk about how Anya is finishing things last minute. Kimberly is doing the same thing but I guess no one said anything about her. Everyone talks about the chance to show their point of view at Fashion Week.

No guest judges today. Viktor is up first. Strapless cocktail dress in black leather with insets of blue fabric. The skirt is full, and has zippers that are open, like vents, with the blue fabric inside. I really like it. Second: white pants with a dark pink liquid print. The backs of the pants are black. There is a black jacket, and a tank top made of long glass rectangles. Very striking. Third: that awesome white jacket, with a black bustier and a mullet skirt. The skirt is very short in front and has a train in the back.

Anya: short dress with a V neck in a brown print. The skirt is about 3 inches shorter in front. Second: black swimsuit with a low V and a sparkly zipper/line up the center. This is with a simple beige cover-up robe. Third: long gold gown with one shoulder and a wrapped back to it, so it’s interesting from the back. There’s a weird flap on her hip.

Kimberly: off the shoulder top in a vertical striped print, in greens and blues. The front looks fine, but the back is open and it looks like a smock. This is paired with dark blue pants. Second: blue top and a heavy skirt, with brocade or something. The front of the skirt looks like it’s not made properly, and again the top is backless with a weird thing up near her neck. Plus the pleating in the back makes her butt look big. Third: long black gown with a mock-turtleneck style neck. It’s long and sparkly and backless. But black.

Josh: hot pink flood water pants and a jacket with some vertical seaming that is interesting. Plus a print tank top. Oh, and the blue shoes. Second: little black dress. That’s about it. There’s a keyhole in the back with a single vertical strap. Third: a jumper with long pants, in black. The collar is plastic, in a mottled reddish brown shade. In the back there is another keyhole and an exposed zipper. Actually I think maybe it’s not a jumper but a sheer gown over leggings.

Anya’s first dress has gone over well, but the bathing suit looks bad (oo, she needs more support for the girls and the exposed zipper looks tacky) and the gown looks unfinished. It’s not perfect enough. Kors says the styling is not helping: large heavy jewelry and bad shoes does not look Caribbean. Nina tells her to embrace what she’s good at. Kimberly talks about her urban looks, and Kors can immediately tell they’re her clothes. He likes that the sexiness comes from the open back and not a low-cut front. However there is too much jewelry and her blue pants have matching blue shoes so they all blend together too much. Nina agrees on the styling. Heidi hates the pink skirt that is poofy in the back. The front hem is arched in the front. It looks pinned? Is that on purpose? Kimberly admits she had an ivory jacket to go with that skirt but it was a little too big so it’s not here. Heidi and Nina clutch their pearls in horror.

Viktor talks about his brother and gets choked up a little. The prints in the short dress and the pants are pictures of Mexico that he put onto fabric. The tailoring is fantastic. Kors says he has to say one bad thing about the sunglasses on the leather dress. He then says that the white leather jacket is too much with the mullet dress, that the dress is gorgeous enough on its own. Heidi steals the jacket and talks about how great it is. Viktor says he really loves the jacket though, and Kors tells him to whip up some black pants and a black tank top. Nina asks him to take off the leather skirt with the short dress, and they like the dress without it. Kors says each piece is great, but they shouldn’t all be put together on the same girl. Josh talks about how innovative and tailored his stuff is. Heidi likes his stuff. The jacket looks good, but the buckle is cheap looking and the shoes conflict with everything. The little black dress is good except for the little tab just under her boobs. Kors haaaaates the back of the long dress. It does seem to be leggings, very tight leggings with an exposed zipper. Kors makes him take the belt from the jacket and put it on the short dress, and Josh argues that it looks bad but then Kors likes it. I think it looks like a strap from a backpack, with that plastic buckle thing. Bleh. Nina tells him his styling is finally good.

Everyone goes to the Scrap Bin and freaks out. Josh fishes for complements and Anya falls for it. Viktor has wonderful pieces, with great prints and perfect tailoring, but he must edit. Josh has to fix his long gown/leggings/whatever, and Kors insists he fix the short dress with the tab. He had the best styling though. Anya’s point of view only came through in the first dress. Heidi says she should have done what she was good at, which if you’ll recall is exactly the opposite of what Tim said. Two of her looks were not good. Nina didn’t like Kimberly’s color palette, they didn’t like her styling or accessories either. The girls did not do well today. Then randomly they say “Anything’s possible”. The final four have a Kumbaya moment backstage.

Heidi warns them that if they move forward, they must do what the judges tell them. Oh, I mean “listen to feedback”. Josh is in. Viktor is in. Kimberly is in. Anya is also in. Big fucking surprise. Admit it, when you saw that she was the last one up there, not one person thought she was actually out. Josh is pissed. I would be pissed too, probably. He interviews (randomly, in another outfit) that both of them should have gone home because they both had horrible critiques and this is serious! Serious stuff! Fashion Week! They’re terrible! Whatever. On the After the Runway show he’s saying how he’s so glad they all went to the final episode together, because everyone has a different point of view and it would be such an injustice. Did you forget that everyone just watched you bitch about it? Laura Bennett comes back and she sadly agrees with him, about how she’d be angry if no one was eliminated, but at least she pointed out that he wasn’t OK with it.

Next week: This season is finally over. Clicky clicky

Top Chef: Just Desserts 10/19/11--"Dessert in Disguise" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: everyone had to make pie, which was fun, but of course then they had to go make them bake with one hand tied behind their back. Whatever. Anyway, Carlos wins again, so he has a ton of money which is nice. Then everyone was forced to make upscale carnival foods, and Carlos tried to make macarons, which failed, and sadly the rest of his food failed, so he was sent home. Matthew made fried pie and it was delicious so he won. There is no one left for Sally to roll her eyes about and Orlando managed to keep his mouth shut mostly, so no drama. Although Orlando tried to make a cake based on candy apples, which for some reason included chocolate, so he got in an argument with the judges about it. Candy apples don’t have chocolate. I don’t think I’ve ever even had a candy apple and I know that. (click for more)

Chris brags about how he’s not really sorry Carlos is gone because he’s that much closer to winning. Sally says pretty much the same thing. Matthew says he was picked on in school and that he also was breaking into cars and whatnot. Oo, a delinquent.

Suzanne Goin is here to judge the Quickfire. Except there is no Quickfire today. Gail says they are going international, and says their challenge is to make a dessert inspired by the cuisine of one of the countries they have for you to choose from. Chris gets to go first, and goes with France. Pff. Easy. Orlando takes Spanish, Matthew picks Italian, and Sally picks Cuban. Someone do an Asian country! Pff. They must make a “dessert in disguise”. It has to look like an “iconic” dish from the country they picked. Interesting. Cat Cora is here to judge too. It’s the last challenge before the finale.

3 hours to cook. Chris seems to be freaking out and maybe doesn’t have ideas. Matthew gets right to work and Chris says not to start without him. He laughs and Matthew calls him out on having the most nervous laugh ever. Orlando is thinking Spain = paella. Nice. He says that in the Virgin Islands gay means transsexual (or at least transvestite, from what he says) and that he’s been ostracized. Sally doesn’t know what she’s going to make. Chris tells us it’s taken him an hour to decide on “beef Wellington”, which I am pretty sure is not French.

Johnny comes in to bother everyone. Orlando pretends to be pleased. Chris tries to convince Johnny that beef Wellington is not English but French, but Johnny is not buying it. He claims there will not be puff pastry. Matthew is making manicotti, with cake and mousse. He seems in good shape. Orlando says he’s most threatened by Chris because he’s creative and has good technique. Orlando then proceeds to shamelessly kiss Johnny’s ass and say that in order to win, he’s going to use all of Johnny’s advice. He then interviews that he’s using all his criticism to win today. This is coming from a person who said last week he’d like to punch Johnny in the face. He’s totally different now though, he promises. Sally is still not sure what she’s going to make, but she is leaning towards a Cuban sandwich. Johnny points out that maybe she should be more sure since she has only 75 minutes left to work. Johnny takes this to mean that she doesn’t want it.

With one hour to go Sally seems to finally be making a decision, which is go to with the sandwich idea. Orlando is using plums and apricots and beets to be the parts of paella. I am intrigued by his plan. Chris is still making beef Wellington. Dude. There are like, a million French dishes you could be making right now. He starts talking about how he went to culinary skill but then saw a book of pastry chef things and thought he should be making those works of art. Matthew seems to be making basil gelee, that he’s going to cut into thin strips like a basil chiffonade. Interesting. Orlando reminds Chris to check on his nuts in the oven, which prompts several jokes.

Back at home Sally gets her phone call home to her mom. She says she got close to her parents after she left, which happens to a ton of people. I like her more now that she’s not complaining about how other people are there and shouldn’t be there. In the morning Orlando gets a phone call home too. See, I would much rather have this “I really love to do this and I want to win” than “Everyone else here sucks, they should let me win by default”. It makes people like Sally and Orlando much more pleasant.

2 hours today to finish everything. Sally says confidence is extremely important in things like this. Chris is experimenting with finishing his dish, and he promised Johnny he wouldn’t use puff pastry. Mainly because Johnny acted like he was taking the easy way out and using a dish that was half pastry already. However, Chris can’t seem to figure out any other way to get his stuff done, so now he’s using puff pastry. And not making his own, either, but using some frozen puff pastry. So you know he’s going to get nailed for that. Orlando is making coconut saffron rice, for his paella. Matthew had wanted to use tomatoes in his sauce, but he feels it’s too risky. He’s using cake for his pasta, and has gone the extra step of using a knife to cut grooves in the cake, just like the grooves in the manicotti. That is a lot of work. Chris says his puff pastry looks like Wellington. Sally’s jelly is coming out perfectly, but seeing Matthew and Chris is making her nervous so she’s going to also make plantain chips and potato salad. Matthew has rolls too. It’s very cute.

Matthew is up first. There are several big wigs dining today and as Cat is a guest judge there will probably be a lot of ass-kissing. I like her though. Crème fraiche cake with mascarpone-ricotta mousse, strawberry compote and basil gelee. It does look disturbingly like cheese manicotti with tomato sauce. The judges really like it, but when they’re about halfway through they’re kind of done. It’s one-textured. Chris: puff pastry, chocolate mousse, raspberry jam and salted caramel. It’s a knot of puff pastry. Johnny says technically it’s French. Whatever. So the raspberry and chocolate are supposed to represent done vs. rare meat. They do enjoy his dessert. Orlando: coconut and saffron rice, tuile, compressed plums, and roasted beets. It really does look like paella, although yellow rice with things in it is going to look like paella no matter what, pretty much. It seems to go over well, except that someone things the beet doesn’t look like chorizo and doesn’t go with anything else. Sally: brioche, cream cheese mousse, and strawberry caramel with “potato salad”. The caramel is the “ham”, with green-dyed pineapple for pickles and the “potato salad” is pineapple, banana, and Asian pear for crunch. Everything else looks accurate but the cream cheese mousse is supposed to be pork and it’s not really working.

Commercial interlude: everyone loves Cat Cora. Matthew especially. Matthew, she’s gay. You don’t have a chance anyway.

Chris’s Wellington looked just like beef Wellington. Then they nail him on the puff pastry. Sort of. Well, they point out that he didn’t make puff pastry and everyone else made their own bread. He says that his flavors were great and it looked like an entrée. Cat tells Matthew his rolls were spot-on. Johnny calls him on the lack of tomato, and says he’s not as creative as he could have been. Johnny then tells Orlando he hates saffron, but he didn’t mind it in Orlando’s dish. Hubert says something about how he used a rice cooker to cook the rice, I guess because he had to fluff it afterwards. He should have cooked it in a pot, maybe? I think it has to do with the way the rice is in paella, which is that it’s all cooked in that pan and has a different texture. Orlando says the rice he had growing up was from a rice cooker, so he wanted that texture. Gail loved the beets. Orlando tells the judges he wanted to edit himself, so things are missing. Gail says this is the one challenge they didn’t want him to edit. He had to, he says, so that he could properly execute everything. Sally’s presentation was impressive, but the mousse was messy. She says this was her toughest challenge yet, but it brought something out of herself. Johnny warns them all that now they have to split hairs and pick a loser.

Gail admits she had low expectations for this challenge because it was so difficult. In the end, everyone was impressed. Chris’s dish looked real, but they’re all disappointed that he didn’t make his own puff pastry. Matthew’s dish also looked real, but it was all similar in flavor and he played it safe. Orlando melded a lot of flavors together, and all the final touches were perfect. Sally’s sandwich was close to perfect, but the cream cheese mousse did not work. But the potato salad looked just like potato salad.

The winner today is Sally. Interesting. Chris is also safe. After a commercial, Orlando is sent home. Well that is also interesting. He’s really upset. He feels like he disappointed himself, and he says that this has humbled him and shown him that other people’s opinions matter. Once he leaves, everyone else is thrilled to be in the finale.

Next week: Finale. Celebrity sous chefs. Chocolate show pieces? OK then. Clicky clicky

TAR19, Recap Leg 4, 10/16/11

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Like Buddha in My Hands, teams continued racing through Indonesia. Cathi fell down. A lot. And Amani and Marcus fell apart. However, due to the lack of counting ability, the teams switched up their order again, and caused the snowboarders to end up in first by default. AGAIN. Kaylani and Lisa are eliminated. Who will be eliminated . . . next?(click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Andy/Tommy, The Snowboarders
2nd – Laurence/Zac, The Adventurers
3rd – Jeremy/Sandy, Team Tryout
4th – Justin/Jennifer, Team Patience
5th – Ernie/Cindy, Team Chinatown
6th – Amani/Marcus, Team Football
7th – Bill/Cathi, The Grandparents
8th – Liz/Marie, Twinderellas

Borobudur Temple, Magelang, Indonesia

8:17 AM Andy/Tommy (1st)
Clue: Fly north to Phuket, Thailand! Once there, find Nonthasak Marine and go out on the pier to get your next clue.

(Toyouke: “Heh. Phuket. I love that there is a little outline of the next country you're going to. I'd say they should just put that and make them figure out what country it is, but with this group who knows where they'll end up.”)

8:28 AM Laurence/Zac (2nd)
9:40 AM Jeremy/Sandy (3rd) – and Jeremy reminds us that they are using the race to work on their relationship. Not the best use of time, in my opinion. Sandy: “We’re going to Bucket!”
9:41 AM Justin/Jennifer (4th)
9:42 AM Ernie/Cindy (5th)
9:46 AM Amani/Marcus (6th) – who have 4 kids that they want to show the world to.
9:56 AM Bill/Cathi (7th) – and Cathi reminds us that they are the oldest team in the race.
10:05 AM Liz/Marie (8th) – who lost their father right before filming.

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Laurence/Zac
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Ernie/Cindy
5- Justin/Jennifer
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

The Snowboarders and Adventurers were the first teams at the airport, and manage to get on a 9:40 AM flight to Jakarta on Garuda Indonesia. (Toyouke: “Uh...I hope flying to Jakarta is a good idea. Did they not get at least backup tickets to Phuket?”) When they get to Jakarta, however, they find out that the direct flight to Phuket is full, and must fly to Bangkok first, putting them into Phuket at 7:40 PM. (Toyouke: “Always buy backup tickets, people. You could be on the flight with everyone else.”) The other six teams manage to secure tickets on Air Asia to Jakarta and then on to Phuket, putting them into Phuket at 6:50 PM. So the Amazing Red and Blue Lines arrive in Phuket in the following order:

1- Jeremy/Sandy
2- Liz/Marie – who we find out never changed their money from Indonesian to Thai. That could be an issue later. (Toyouke: “Also exchange your money.”)
3- Amani/Marcus
4- Ernie/Cindy
5- Justin/Jennifer
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Laurence/Zac
8- Andy/Tommy

Teams now race by taxi to Nonthasak Marine and arrive in the following order:

1- Jeremy/Sandy
2- Liz/Marie – who convince their cab driver to let them not pay for the ride.
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Justin/Jennifer
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Andy/Tommy
8- Laurence/Zac

Teams arrive, and face the first Hours of Operation of the Race, since the pier does not open until 8 AM. But when it does, teams race out to the pier and grab their next clues in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Amani/Marcus
3- Justin/Jennifer
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Laurence/Zac
7- Liz/Marie
8- Bill/Cathi

(Toyouke: “Also, what the hell has happened to the clue boxes?”)

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Coral OR Beach
*Coral: Teams must take a motorboat to Khai Nai Island. Once there, teams build a coral nursery and then transport it by kayak to a buoy, lower it into the water, and fill it with live coral in order to get their next clue from the marine biologist.
*Beach: Teams must take a motorboat to Khai Nai Island. Once there, teams find 20 chairs and 10 umbrellas with the sticker from their clue on it and assemble the umbrellas and chairs to match the given arrangement. Once complete, the proctor will give them their next clue.

1- Andy/Tommy choose Coral
2- Amani/Marcus choose Coral – but Bald Snark to Beach after their nursery falls apart. (Toyouke: “What? You pick things your kids are familiar with and that's why you picked coral? Because you and your kids watched a thing on the tsunami? You make no sense.”)
3- Justin/Jennifer choose Coral
4- Jeremy/Sandy choose Coral – but Bald Snark to Beach after their nursery falls apart.
5- Ernie/Cindy choose Beach
6- Laurence/Zac choose Beach – because they initially chose Coral, but went the wrong way.
7- Liz/Marie choose Beach – because they were lifeguards.
8- Bill/Cathi choose Coral – but Bald Snark to Beach after their nursery falls apart.

(Toyouke: “I think Bald Snarkers have an advantage because several teams have already partially cleaned out the shed.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy – (Toyouke: “Who would have thought the snowboarders would end up being one of the smarter, less failure prone teams?” Kmanpat: *raises hand*)
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Jeremy/Sandy
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

Teams receive a medallion and a compass and are told to take their motorboats 13 minutes North to the pictured object, Soap Island. (Toyouke: “This clue is too complicated for this group.“) They arrive in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer – Jennifer: “One Eyed, Willie, we’re coming for you!” Justin: “Goonies are good enough!”
3- Laurence/Zac
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Jeremy/Sandy
6- Ernie/Cindy – who go south instead of north. Really?
7- Bill/Cathi – Cathi: “"We're supposed to keep the Roadblocks even but if it's going to keep us in the race, then screw it." (Toyouke: “I kind of like that philosophy.”)
8- Liz/Marie

And once they arrive, teams get the fourth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who wants to be king of the hill?

In this roadblock, one team member must climb the face of Koh Yao Noi Island to retrieve a clue from a bird’s nest.

(Toyouke: “Pff, that's not "sheer".”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Andy
2- Jennifer
3- Zac
4- Amani
5- Jeremy
6- Ernie
7- Bill
8- Marie

After much climbing, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Laurence/Zac
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Jeremy/Sandy
6- Ernie/Cindy
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

Teams are now instructed to direct their motorboat drivers via the provided map to Koh Panyi floating village. (Toyouke: “OK, the helicopter shot when you come around the rock and all of a sudden there's a floating village was pretty impressive.”) Teams are then instructed to find the floating soccer field, the PIT STOP of the fourth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Andy/Tommy – who win $5000 each.
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Laurence/Zac – who get lost while navigating a boat. Really? (Toyouke: “I think it's an issue because for all your "experience" in navigation, from what I saw of the map, you should have gone northwest instead of northeast.”)
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Bill/Cathi
8- Liz/Marie

And sadly, Liz and Marie . . . come in last. Which means, this is the second of four non-elimination legs, and the twins will have a Speed Bump on the next leg. (Toyouke: “People who take THREE DAMN HOURS to set up 20 deck chairs and umbrellas should get eliminated. Seriously.”)

ORDER NOW:
1st – Andy/Tommy
2nd – Justin/Jennifer
3rd – Jeremy/Sandy
4th – Laurence/Zac
5th – Ernie/Cindy
6th – Amani/Marcus
7th – Bill/Cathi
8th – Liz/Marie

Next week: Teams travel to Bangkok, where they ride elephants. Jeremy and Sandy continue to yell at each other. And, as predicted, the twins run into money trouble. Until next time!


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Project Runway 10/13/11--"The Finale Challenge" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone had to make dresses based on birds, which was not really that bad, but then there was a stupid twist of making a second look, and then they had ANOTHER twist of only using one of their looks, which I think was a last minute thing so that certain people could be saved from their horrid outfits. Josh scrapped one look and had to ask Anya for fabric, and she refused, leading him to get self-righteous about how he deserves her help because she’s gotten so much before. On the “After the Runway” show, he really went to town and said that he deserved to win that challenge more than Anya because he has school loans to pay off, and also that helping her with her sewing is exactly like giving her money, because he paid for that education and she’s getting it for free. When Laura Bennett pointed out to him that he looks like an ass, he lost it and went on a diatribe about how he didn’t care and she was a horrible person, which might have worked better had he not decided to throw in that she was twice his age. Has nothing to do with anything, but good job, dumbass. He also said no one was attacking anyone else but him, but everyone did tell Anya that they were pissed she was getting away with everything. And Anya just agreed that if she was them, she’d be pissed too. Anyway, in the end Anya won the money and the advertorial, and Bert was sent home. (click for more)

Josh talks about how sad he is that Bert is gone and how great it was that he is such a great person that he likes Bert now. He also bitches to Viktor about Anya and Kimberly not being as good as he thinks they should be. I have news for you, Josh, if you weren’t such good drama you wouldn’t be here right now. She’s designed things. You’ve over designed things. Anya says she feels a lot of pressure.

Heidi tells them this is the final challenge before Fashion Week. Who wants to place bets that all five of them go through to next week’s episode? She sends them to Governor’s Island for a field trip. On the ferry, Josh and his tight floral board shorts and combat boots (oh, you think I am kidding but I am not kidding) tell us this is the first time he’s congratulated himself. Uh huh. Anya has Uggs on too. Jeez. Terrible. Tim welcomes everyone and introduces them to people in charge of the island and the artwork there. It seems to be a sculpture park? I’m not familiar with Governor’s Island. There’s an exhibition there with huge works in a big field. They must create 3 looks, and there must be a range. So don’t make three gowns. They will get 1 hour, a golf cart, and a camera. Two days to sew, because there are 3 outfits to make.

Kimberly likes a silver sculpture like a pretzel. Josh is drawn to the “artillerary” and chapel. He pretends the stained glass was beautiful, but I saw him looking at the cannon. Laura is taking pictures of circles. Like the bike path symbol and circles in the fences and stuff. Viktor wants something metropolitan. Anya is also taking pictures of sculpture. That was the idea, I guess.

$500 and 45 minutes at Mood. Laura for some reason is talking about buying things and spending money as if she’s going to run out. Anya is just buying random things with no idea how it’s going to work together yet. Laura ends up close to $700.

Kimberly discovers her wool is not exactly the right color. Laura is excited she’s found some fabric with circular cut outs. Tim enters with the velvet bag and everyone freaks out. He says to ‘gather round, and sarcastically says they all love the button bag! Tim says they could use some help, so this is the “eliminated contestants return” challenge. Josh pretends this is fantastic. He hates almost everyone there. Kimberly gets to choose first, and she takes Becky, who is glad because Becky hates everyone else. Viktor takes Olivier. Laura picks out Anthony Ryan. Josh and Anya are left, and Josh laughs, or smirks, or something, and Anya says “Don’t fight with me.” Oooookay. Josh tells her she’s aggressive, and she says it’s a joke and he should relax. That was weird. Of course Anya is picked next, and she takes Bert, who says he’s so happy she picked him. Bryce is slightly worried. Tim tells them all the challenge and leaves them to their fun.

Everyone tells their helpers about their vision. Anya specifically says she does not want to go in Laura’s direction with her cut outs. It’s not particularly bitchy, though. Bryce is trying to tell Josh his designs are over designed as always, but I don’t think Josh is listening. He asks Josh if Laura is also doing a stained glass cut out type thing, and Josh says he doesn’t care because “she has nothing on me”. Bryce notices that when he left, everyone was getting along, and now they’re barely speaking. Josh insists he can totally do clean work. HA! “Oh, you don’t have to add anything to it, that would be so stupid, I can’t believe you would think that.” So now that you don’t have stained glass, your design is about a cannon. Or a church, possibly. Bert thinks Anya is the most creative one left. He jokes with her that her design is fine, he gets paid by the hour. Laura is taking a lot of advice from Anthony Ryan. She’s designing for the judges at this point. Olivier is also trying to give advice, but Viktor is not having it. Olivier complains about it, but he really has no options. He should have refused to do it, or claimed illness, or something.
Josh whispers about how Anya is a terrible person because the judges love her. They do love her, but it’s not like she’s paying them bribes or something. Aim your anger at the producers where it belongs. They make it seem like she can totally hear them but I don’t know that she can. Bryce knows Josh is always jealous when he doesn’t win. The more he complains, the worse he looks to everyone.

Day 2. People are getting things done. Kimberly is changing her mind. Anya is drawing things but her sketches are not accurate enough for Bert. She basically tells him she can’t be more accurate. Josh babbles about plastic. Kimberly interviews that she would LOVE for him to put more plastic on his outfits, because the more plastic he uses, the better for her.

Tim time! Laura gets a concerned look and a suggestion that she have less circle cutout fabric. Kimberly has an asymmetric coat and Tim asks her about if she is “responding favorably” to the wool and the textured pants together. Viktor has something to say about everyone. Whatever. She’s also got some silvery thing and Tim says “Statue of Liberty”. Kimberly promises it will not be Statue of Liberty. Tim loves Viktor’s looks and he gets nothing but praise. Josh’s outfits look pretty clean for him. And some vinyl I think. Tim wants him to take risks. Anya is making some pants, and two dresses. Josh declares that in his opinion, everyone should have a jacket to show range. No one put you in charge.

Model fitting. Kimberly discovers her pants are far too small, and her model’s ass is hanging out. And one of her models has nothing to try on because she changed her mind this morning. Josh whispers about Anya’s critique and how they should have told her to make separates, and SERIOUSLY shut the hell up. No one is being swayed to your side. You look like an obsessive whiny brat. Bryce tells him to focus. Kimberly is glad to have help to make her looks. Viktor joins in Josh’s whining about Anya. She can’t help if the judges love her for no reason. Laura is slowly losing it. Now she’s talking about how she’s dreamed since she was 13 years old that she would show at Fashion Week, which is not a good sign for her. And now she was “destined” to do this. Yeah…not a good sign.

Day of the show. Kimberly is scrapping the pants that didn’t fit. So now she has to make a skirt, on top of all the finishing. Anya says she’s pushing herself to the limit, but she always says that. Tim gives them 2 hours to finish. There have been a ton of shots of Anya asking Bert what to do and of him teaching her whatever sewing techniques. Laura also scraps her pants and makes a skirt last minute. Hair and makeup. Laura complains that you can’t wash Kimberly’s clothes. Really? Is that what we’re reduced to? I’m tired of listening to people complain about how everyone else sucks. It’s not even funny. Bert says one of Josh’s girls needs a baton and a superhero cape. See? That was kind of funny. The sleeves on Kimberly’s coat are not working. Laura’s fit is bad, and she says she would never do that, but offers no explanation about why she’s doing it now. Anya is seriously putting the dress on her model, and finding all the problems with it, now that Tim is telling her to come out.

Guest judge is Zoë Saldana. She has a red pantsuit with a halter top and looks fantastic. Josh: white short dress with black illusion netting on the top and a cutout in back. It’s very simple and has severe styling. Second look: short silver metallic skirt, cut full, with a black vest. Under the vest is a red and blue horizontal striped tank, that looks like the blue stripes have little white stars. Oh, it’s a studded tank top. The skirt is very full like an ice skating costume. Third look: black tank and silver draped over one shoulder and a long skirt in silver. THIS is Statue of Liberty. The black doesn’t really go.

Kimberly: melon coat with a tall collar and a big gray scarf. It looks good. The buttons are down one side, not in the middle. Second look: silver skirt with a poof on one thigh and a beaded belt. The top is a tight halter top with a high collar and a big keyhole in the middle. Third look: same silver, but a whole dress with folding so there’s a swag at one hip. It looks like silver metal mesh. And it’s pretty short.

Laura: blazer in cream with the circles and a white skirt. The skirt looks like it’s pulled tight in front but loose in the back, sort of like a bustle. The blazer has no shirt underneath and has black lapels. Second look: a plain long dress in rose, with black trim and no circles. It’s boring. And has a mullet hem. Third look: long gown with the circles. The cutouts go over her shoulders and make little cap sleeves, and there is a white slim gown underneath.

Anya: short black dress, with a mullet hem only backwards so the front is longer than the back. There is a high collar that’s draped. The whole dress looks backwards, basically, but I guess that’s on purpose. Second look: long red loose pants and a one shouldered top. The pants are chiffon I think, and the top is more structured. It looks good. Third look: long white dress slit up to her hip, with the same high collar and draping as the black dress.

Viktor: tight slim pants and a long sleeved cropped jacket in leather with ruffles. Think one of those cardigans that doesn’t have buttons, that’s just supposed to drape. The sleeves are black and the center is a lighter gray. Second look: button down short sleeved shirt in a black and white plaid and a black pencil skirt. The skirt has a sweep of fabric along one side, like a big swag. Third look: little black dress. I can’t see anything exciting about it but it looks well made.

Josh talks about the military but does not say “artillerary” again. Kors thinks it’s too much diversity, because the same woman would not wear all three outfits. The draped gown looks cheap and Statue of Liberty. Heidi asks him if he was attracted to the silver because it was shiny. Hee. He gets offended and asks if that’s an assumption. She’s asking you a question. Say no and let’s move on. Kors points out that too much shine can look cheap.

Kimberly sounds like she’s about to cry, I think she’s so nervous. The silver dress has hot pink shoes that get praise. But the orange coat doesn’t work, and Kors doesn’t like the colors. Heidi gets the same criticism Josh did, that these looks don’t go together. Nina wishes the skirt with the keyhole top was just plain, and Kimberly shoots back that if it was normal, they’d complain that it was normal. That’s probably true. Kimberly keeps talking and says that she’s glad to be there and she appreciates everything they are saying and so forth. Heidi asks if she’s saying goodbye already, and she says that no, she’s not, she already knew what was wrong with her looks.

Laura talks about circles, and they show a close-up of the rose dress and it’s terrible. The fabric looks wrinkled and it doesn’t fit her chest right and it’s bad. She also admits to being nervous and how she has been dreaming of this all her life and so forth. Heidi is like, OK, moving on. The gown was great, but the blazer isn’t quite right. The rose dress doesn’t go with the other two. She admits the skirt with the blazer is last minute. Kors tells her she choked.

Anya is talking about shapes and angles and how her clothes are interesting from multiple angles. Of course they love it. Nina points out it looks like a concise collection, which is true. The white dress is kind of like a sheet, says Heidi. Kors thinks she knows how to match clothes to the model and that she understands women’s bodies, and I would argue she understands women with bodies like hers, but I can see where he’s coming from. This is why it would be different if Tim was judging, because he would know she had so many problems with the white dress. Zoë says the white gown is like a condom.

Viktor was attracted by the city. Nina loves Viktor’s stuff, but maybe he could turn up the volume a little. The draping on the pencil skirt is a nice touch, but Zoë talks about the boning on the black dress that looks uncomfortable. I can’t see it at all. Kors says this is the most commercial, and before last season that would be a horrible thing, but of course Gretchen.

Now that the models are gone, everyone must plead for their life! Not really, but you know what I mean. Josh wants time to do research and “focus [his] fabric” and then battle Viktor and Anya. What? He says she’s “free” because she’s untrained that then says with a straight face that he respects that about her. Bitch please. You want her there so you can win and rub it in her face. Kimberly wants to “change the face of fashion” with Anya (who has grown) and Laura, because the three of them would show a different Fashion Week. Anya has a solid point of view, that is unique. She says that Josh is the opposite of her, despite his editing issues, because he thinks about it differently. She would also take Viktor because his work already has an audience. Interesting. Laura cries again about how much she wants to be a designer. She would take Viktor and Anya. Viktor at first didn’t want to design, but now he does and loves it. He would take Josh, and also Anya. He says his choice of Anya is based just on design. They don’t care. They just make you do that in the hopes that you’ll go back to the Scrap Bin and have a fight.

Anya has great styling and taste, she’s grown in her point of view, they love her clothes, etc etc. Viktor’s sewing skills are impeccable and women would buy his clothes in a heartbeat. Today was subdued, but they remember him with the volume turned up, so to speak. Josh’s silver gown doesn’t get much praise, but Kors thinks with time to edit he would be fine. Nina says they’re editorial, even if the taste is questionable. He would have too much time at home to put random shit on his garments, but he has ideas and at least it’s fun. Laura can make clothes, but Nina says she has no range. Zoë points out that at least she placed the circles intelligently, instead of over the boobs. Good point. Heidi wants to give her extra points because she cried. Kimberly tried to challenge herself, and it didn’t go well. They talk about her past successes, and then bitch that she didn’t make any pants. She wanted range, and you kept asking her for pants, and then hers were messed up so she didn’t make any. Like you wouldn’t have been like “oh, pants from Kimberly, ho hum boring”. Kors gets the girl who owns this collection. Heidi pretends they are going to decide right then and there if there are going to be 3 or 4 finale collections, as if there weren’t NINE because Lifetime can’t count episodes.

Anya is in, and if you didn’t see that coming you haven’t been paying attention. She pretends she didn’t see it coming. Viktor is in. Josh is in. Shocking. He starts babbling about writing his book, and people will be able to look him up or something. Honey they’re not going to like what they find. Laura is out. Kimberly is in but Heidi says “you are designing and will return to New York” so it’s probably that “make a collection and we’ll decide last minute”. Laura is surprised, didn’t think she should go, etc. I suppose I’ll hear about her again, as she’s from here. Tim asks for a group hug from the final four.

After the Runway, oo girl. Kimberly totally jumps on Laura because Laura apparently has been saying that she’s a “real” person, but she badmouths Kimberly all the time. Anya tries to stick up for Laura, but Kimberly claims she never said anything bad about the girls, as evidenced by the lack of comments shown during the show. Laura also tries to claim Nina had it out for her from the beginning, but Nina has impeccable taste so if she doesn’t like your taste level, your taste level is the problem. Becky and Olivier come out so we can watch Josh’s and Becky’s fight again and Josh can make a very inappropriate joke about how she must have taken a nap like he told her to. Do you even understand what an ass you look like right now? Do you have no idea? I don’t think he does. He tries to run the show and say that all this drama doesn’t help their careers, probably because he looks pretty bad. However he does sit quietly as Becky basically blames him for her exit, because he was so hostile and he made it clear she didn’t belong and it threw her. He doesn’t apologize, but he does nod and keep his mouth shut so that’s something. After commercial he actually says that he knows he didn’t respond in the best way, but then talks about how he’s more insecure than she is. I’m waiting for an apology, but he just reminds Becky they won that challenge so she should consider herself a winner. How are you so blind to general social norms that you can’t tell you should apologize here? OK, clearing the air time! They talk about the random “girl pact” and how they claimed that they promised to tell each other when their clothes were bad, but then talked themselves out of it. Kimberly of course is pretty upset because she was upholding this pact. Laura interrupts her and says it’s not her fault because she wanted to tell Kimberly. Please. Anya tells everyone that she felt sick watching the episodes and she apologizes to everyone for the things she said. See, that’s how it’s done. Anyone else have anything else to say? Josh says he’s learning because he’s so young and he wants everyone to know he’s not an ass, really he’s sensitive and all this asshattery is a wall because everyone picks on him. If it hurts you to be called a bully, then DON’T ACT LIKE A BULLY. Finally he apologizes to Becky, who says she accepts it. Maybe. I don’t buy it totally, but what else are you going to do? Becky, not Josh. Then there is Uncle Nick! Yay! He asks about Olivier’s accent, and I will say it sounds different from when he was on the show. It’s more Cockney now. I don’t know. Also, boobs. Laura likes to spend money. Anya says her success shocked her as much as everyone else, because of her lack of skills, and she understands the frustration. Nick gives Laura a hug for being part of “The Five Crew”, people who are eliminated 5th. Hee.

Next week: home visits, Tim wants to weep, Anya freaks out. I think it’s the usual “show us a few looks so we can decide if we want to see the rest” challenge. Clicky clicky