Top Chef:Just Desserts 10/13/10--"Edible Fashion"

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: Seth had a nervous breakdown, basically, and passed out. When he came to, the producers kicked him off the show. Everyone seemed pretty pleased about it, or at least, not sad. So they bring Heather C. back, and then throw her right into a group challenge to mess with her. Oh, well first they have to make ice cream sundaes, which Morgan wins, or at least does the best at. Then for elimination everyone has to make “sexy” desserts to go with Lucent Dossier, which is like Cirque du Soliel with fire. Morgan wins again, which pisses off Heather H. because she says he didn’t do any work but make his own stuff, even though she volunteered to make the showpiece so it’s her own fault. Yigit’s team neglects to actually flambé their flambé dessert for the judges, but it doesn’t matter because Malika asks to quit. (click for more)

Hey, Bravo heard me and made a normal hour show!

Yigit, Zac, and Heather H. have made a clique. Yigit doesn’t want to call it a “clique”, of course, because “clique” means “group of people who exclude everyone else and think they are superior”. However they have labeled themselves “Team Go Diva”. Yigit thinks that everyone else hates them because they are so talented and are such good friends. Yeah, that must be it. Oh, Yigit. You were my best chance for eye candy after Seth lost it but you’re such a mean girl.

Gail introduces Sherry Yard, who is Wolfgang Puck’s pastry chef. Today’s Quickfire involves soufflés. Heh. They have one hour to make their soufflés. There is some talk about how tricky soufflés are, and then Zac says “Team Go Diva!” when they start, which I can see would be very annoying to people not in their clique. Zac doesn’t like soufflés because they are too light, so he’s making “soufflé glace” which is frozen. He sniffs at all the chocolate soufflés he sees. Morgan seems fairly confident but he doesn’t want to jinx it.

Danielle: lemon and lavender soufflé with blueberry ginger compote and honey ice cream. Zac: apple crisp soufflé glace. It’s “deconstructed” which means there is the frozen soufflé, which I guess is like ice cream, and then sautéed apples, and streusel topping. He sells his dessert (and himself) as Danielle makes fun of him. Erika: lemon basil soufflé with white chocolate raspberry sauce. She can tell when she pokes it to put the sauce in that it’s not quite done. Heather H.: chocolate raspberry soufflé, grand Marnier and Godiva cream. Yigit: chocolate soufflé with passion fruit and vanilla bean ice cream. He talks about his boyfriend. Sigh. (Kmanpat: “Yay!”) He then flirts with Gail who flirts right back. Morgan: gianduia soufflé with burnt sugar ice cream and raspberry coulis. Gianduia is apparently the generic name for Nutella.

Sherry didn’t like Erika’s soufflé because it was too sweet, and Zac’s was too dense. Heather H. also didn’t have enough flavor. Danielle gloats that 2/3 of Team Go Diva is in the bottom. The best soufflés were Morgan, with great height and flavor, Yigit, same things, and Danielle who had good flavor layering. The winner is Yigit. He says this is what should have been happening from the beginning. Has he always been this smug? I don’t remember him being so cocky. I might not have noticed.

Elimination challenge. Gail starts talking about Fashion Week, because they are making edible fashion. Zac is very excited, because he makes chocolate dresses for that show in New York. Gail promises help, and some woman wheels in a cart full of shoes. Apparently the clique has an obsession with Gail’s shoes. They will each get a pair of shoes to be inspired by. So we know why the clique likes shoes, but then Morgan loves shoes too. Especially women’s shoes. They are fab shoes, to be fair. Everyone gets to pick out some shoes. Danielle gets some awesome orange shoes, that I kind of want but I don’t know what I would wear them with. Zac makes fun of her, but I bet it’s just because he wanted them. Zac of course ends up with some black strappy zippered shoes. Like gladiator sandals where the straps are zippers. In addition to the outfit, they must each make two “couture” petits fours for some party. They get $200 for shopping (at Albertson’s! Not Whole Foods!), 8 hours for prep today, and 2 hours tomorrow.

Zac wants a whip theme. And plungers. Morgan is buying spices for his hot shoes. They are hot, they’re like, red and black platforms. Heather C. thinks her peach ruffley shoes scream “garden party” so she’s buying produce and Bubble Tape. I’m very impressed that people are buying things other than chocolate.

Back at the kitchen we have dress forms, underwear, fabric…I think sewing materials. Poor Eric is so lost. He knows what he wants it to look like, but has no idea what to do. Morgan is making circles out of chocolate to look like sequins. Danielle is modern and retro, and she’s using beet juice to dye her skirt. Plus the greens will become a shawl. Yigit is making white chocolate because he needs it to be blue like the shoes and regular chocolate won‘t take the color as well. Heather H. says her mom used to sew, and how she was adopted, and this editing doesn’t bode well for her. Zac puts chocolate over the plungers, I think, and then giggles. He is making a “burlesque showgirl warrior”.

Johnny busts in and makes them stop working. He has to announce that the winner of this challenge will get $20,000. Yigit says he creamed his pants. Oh, no, he did not say “peed”. Then Johnny leaves. OK then. Heather H. thinks Morgan’s plan of sticking chocolate circles on a slip is too simple. She sneers at it, as Yigit is over near her pretty much doing the same thing: sticking pieces of chocolate on the dress form. It looks like she’s molding chocolate to her form, and aren’t women going to be wearing these? How are they going to put her outfit on? Heather justifies her mean girl-ness by saying Morgan degrades women and is trashy. I don’t know if it’s trashy to be overly excited about your chocolate dress. Weird, but not necessarily trashy. Oh, he calls everyone “babe” or “darlin’” or “honey”. Eh…I don’t know. He’s kind of a jerk but I don’t know if “degrading” is the label I would use. Heather C. also talks about her past, so who knows who is going home. She seems to be making her dress out of lettuce and turnips, which is odd for a pastry competition but Gail didn’t specify the materials. However I am not sure how she’s going to make petits fours with lettuce and turnips. Morgan finishes early and then brags about it, which does not make any friends. His dress actually looks pretty good; it’s covered in shiny chocolate circles, with a red stripe down the side. He wishes he could put it on. Erika is making a “vixen” dress. Eric is flailing and has almost nothing done.

In the morning everyone runs back in for their last two hours to finish. Heather C.’s turnip slices have dried out and wrinkled, and while they do look sort of like an old vintage lacy skirt, they also look like dried up turnip slices, so she’s freaking out. She borrows modeling chocolate from Zac, who wonders if her accessories are ranch dressing or maybe croutons? That wasn’t as funny as you thought it was. Eric is trying to mold chocolate onto the top of the dress, but I think he’s using giant pieces that are too heavy, and the cookies are cracking, and it’s totally not working. Morgan is making a purse for his dress, which matches his shoes exactly. No no no, you can’t match exactly! He was done yesterday with everything, so he’s got the time. Everyone carries their clothes into the dining room, and sadly it looks like the dresses will stay on the dress forms, which is no fun at all. They should have had to put those clothes on real women. Morgan helps Heather C. with her belt, because it doesn’t hurt him and she’s not a threat.

People wander in and look around. Zac makes enemies by saying there are real fashion reporters there, not, like, “bloggers” (oh he made the air quotes). Look, think whatever you want to about bloggers, but pissing them off usually doesn’t help you out at all. A ton of people get all their information from blogs. Plus, bloggers are not inherently ignorant. Zac also sneers at people’s petits fours, because they are too big. Much like amuse bouches, petits fours are supposed to be bite sized.

Erika: her dress is a short chocolate dress, with one of those collars that is basically an actual collar, with a strip down the front of her chest. From far away, it almost looks like the top is made of feathers. At the bottom of the skirt is popcorn dusted with cocoa. The skirt itself is strips of chocolate, and there is a little gold leaf on the top chocolate pieces. The petits fours are her “earrings”, raspberry jelly and mousse in a circular shape, and also a “purse“, made of lemon and milk chocolate ganache and apricot jam. Her earrings aren’t really bite sized and the chocolate is melting. Zac: well… I guess it’s a good thing they aren’t really having models. Zac has neglected to put a bottom on his outfit. There’s just some chocolate coins on strings. It looks sort of like a warrior, with the silver colored plungers. Also in the back it seems to have tall spikes. He swears it is wearable, and he can have it on Gail in 10 minutes. She says they’ll save that for later. Why is Gail flirting with all the gay men? The petits fours are passion fruit and lemongrass “pasties” (they look like Hershey’s Kisses) and coconut black tea “makeup bags” with pineapple gelee. The makeup bags have little handles. Johnny is embarrassed by the pasties. They like his dress and flavors, but the ganache is slightly gritty.

Eric: poor Eric. There are square cookies on the skirt, which kind of look sloppy, and the top is raggedy chocolate. He has a cherry cheesecake “pendant” and a chocolate cake and banana “clutch”. They look sad too. It tastes good though. Heather C.: lettuce skirt, a belt with pink peppercorns, leeks and lemon thyme for the bodice. It actually turned out pretty well, and not very wilted at all. The petits fours are a chocolate caramel “clutch” and chocolate fleur de lys “hair pin”. I think they’re just molded chocolate, and they have nothing to do with the dress itself. They like the caramel, but the only pastry technique in the whole dress is the royal icing that is holding the peppercorns onto the belt. Well, you should have specified you wanted a dessert dress, then.

Yigit: a very short dress with “feathers” of white chocolate. Most of the dress is white, except for a row of blue at the neckline and a row of green at the hem. I guess it’s different from Morgan’s in that it’s not circles but ovals of chocolate…but I don’t understand why they feel so superior when it’s pretty much the same thing. It does look good though. Yigit also serves raspberry pinot noir ice cream “hair pin” lollipops, and an olive oil and citrus cake “brooch”. The ice cream is flat, although it looks pretty. Morgan: short shiny dress covered in chocolate coins, with a stripe of red up one side. And he made the clutch to match. And he made a Ring Pop! Not really, it’s a spiced raspberry and milk chocolate ganache bon bon in the shape of a ring, and a red hot cinnamon macaron “earring”. The clutch he made also looks pretty good. They love his dishes too.

Heather H.: one-shouldered dress made out of chocolate. She’s managed to drape the chocolate, so it has folds like cloth, which is pretty cool. There is a row of flower cut-outs along the neckline, and a gold sash made of pasta on the side. The dress seems to have a circular pattern. Lemon curd French macaron “purse”, and almond cake with raspberry cream and passion fruit caviar “brooch”. Her brooch is basically a square petit four. At least Yigit’s brooch was round and flat. Sadly her macarons are not as good as Morgan’s. Danielle: the skirt is leeks, and the top has roasted beet juice as a dye, but I’m not sure what it’s made out of. Along the bodice and over one shoulder there are the beet tops, and carrot slices strung together to make a necklace. The clique snickers at her. Red velvet whoopie pie “purse” which actually looks like a purse, and roasted banana ice cream bonbon “watch” which is a bonbon with a tiny chocolate watch on top. They again whine about the vegetables, and also that her petits fours are too sweet. Eric knows his dress sucks. Heather H. has decided Eric deserves her pity, I guess, because she’s telling him his flavors are good and trying to reassure him.

Commercial interlude: everyone has nicknames for each other. They are not funny. The end.

Gail collects Yigit, Zac, and Morgan as the winners. Morgan is limping for some reason. Don’t forget the winner gets $20,000. Yigit’s outfit was chic and fantastic. Morgan’s dress was hot and the ring was gorgeous. He jokes that his inspiration was spending the last two weeks alone. Zac’s pasties were delicious, says Sherry. Hee. Johnny tells him he is “a silly little bastard” and he loved his dress. The winner is Morgan! He’s thrilled and thinks people see him as more of a threat now.

Heather C., Eric, and Danielle are the bottom. Zac proclaims loudly that a straight man from Texas kicked his ass. He says “Fuck you” to Morgan, who chooses to pretend it’s just two friends joking around, as Zac is pretending, rather than a real “fuck you” because Zac is pissed he lost, which is what is really going on. Good for Morgan. Eric admits he had a serious problem with making the dress, but Johnny tells him he makes cookies every day and they shouldn’t have been misshapen and cracked. Eric is very honest that he panicked and it was rough. Heather C. knew people were doing chocolate, so she wanted to bring some color. Johnny brings up the pastry thing again, which, if it matters so much THEN PUT IT IN THE RULES. Gail says there was no “garden party” in her petits fours, which gives me hope that if she had made petits fours with pink peppercorns and lemon thyme they wouldn’t have minded as much. Danielle liked her dress, which had texture and color, which she didn’t think she could do in chocolate. However, she had a lot of inedible products, as the whole bodice was fabric. Her “watch” bonbon was too big, but they loved her red velvet whoopie pie. Johnny wishes she’d applied that much detail to the rest of her stuff. Gail sends them back to the Stew Room, proving that the judges call it that too.

Johnny bitches about non-pastry techniques. They didn’t like Danielle’s dress because it didn’t look like it took a long time, and her bonbon failed. However Heather C.’s dress “looks like a drunken sorority girl made it”. She took a chance and nailed the caramel, but the chocolate on her petits fours was too thick. Eric’s dress was a disaster. While his petits fours were too big, the flavors were great.

Johnny attacks people some more, and then Gail sends Heather C. home. Again. She’s glad she stepped outside her comfort zone again. When she goes back into the Stew Room, Heather H. pretends to be sad. She’s proud of what she’s done.

Next week: Morgan elbows Heather and splits her lip, but basically says she should know better than to challenge him for ingredients. It seems to be Morgan vs. Team Go Diva.