TAR16, Recap Leg 10, 4/25/10

Welcome to Leg 10! Last time, on If You Fall And Die, I Love You, teams took a fast train to Singapore. Brent and Caite (well, Caite) is like, such as, angry at the lesbians for making fun of The Team Like The Iraq Such As, and u-turned them. (Toyouke: “Making fun of Caite's tiara is not "pushing things too far." But thanks for letting us know how things are, PROBST.”) This led to their demise and saw them eliminated, leaving Caite as the final female racing. (Toyouke: “YOU are not capable of anything. Your BOYFRIEND and other people's stupidity have helped you. Caite being the last girl left makes me sad.”) This means with three legs left, we have an elim, a non-elim, and the finish line leg. Who will be eliminated. . . next?(click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!
2nd – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
3rd – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
4th – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock

Marina Barrage, Singapore, Singapore

4:47 PM Dan/Jordan (1st)
Clue: Fly 2300 miles to Shanghai China! Once you arrive, travel by taxi to Zhujiajiao, the Venice of China, and take one of the reserved boats to the next clue.

(Auburnium0513: “Gesundheit, Phil!”)

Jordan talks about how he loves his brother more for racing with him across the world. Aw.

6:18 PM Brent/Caite (2nd) – Caite apologizes to the Lesbians for using the U-Turn. Not that she means it. (Auburnium0513: “Shows all them haters out there? Wow, Caite, wow. You are WAY too white for that statement.”)
7:04 PM Jet/Cord (3rd) – and we learn that Jet’s wife just had a daughter (Kmanpat: “Benny, who is Jet’s?”) and Cord just got engaged. (Auburnium0513: “Damn, they are both taken? That makes me sad.” Kmanpat: “No, Jet just has a little girl. He could be a baby daddy. Unlikely though.”) And if you were listening very carefully at 8:05 EDT, you heard thousands of men’s and women’s hearts breaking.
7:35 PM Louie/Michael (4th) – Michael says their underdogs.

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan
2- Brent/Caite
3- Jet/Cord
4- Louie/Michael

Dan finds the first flight to China on China Eastern is at 12:05 AM. Which means everyone goes and hangs out at McDonalds in the airport. In the meantime, Caite tells her joyous story of the U-Turn. Louie: “Did you put on your tiara?” (Toyouke: “"I'm the only girl left! Watch me clap like a cheerleader! But don't make fun of my tiara!") Now, what irritates me about this line is that it’s very similar to the one the Lesbians used, and Caite is laughing at it hysterically. If that was a vindictive u-turn, then that’s really annoying behavior.

The Amazing Red Line flies to Shanghai and teams get taxis in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Dan/Jordan
3- Brent/Caite
4- Louie/Michael

Teams taxi and arrive at Zhujiajiao and find the boats in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Dan/Jordan – who got a bad taxi driver as did. . .
4- Louie/Michael

Teams then take the boats they choose and take them to the clue box. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord – Jet: “That was really tranquil.” Cord: “What’s that?” (Toyouke: “Oh Cord. You don't know what "tranquil" means?” Auburnium0513: “Aww, you don't know the word tranquil? That also makes me sad.”)
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Louie/Michael

And teams come to the ninth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who wants to get their hands on some extra dough?
In this roadblock, one team member must watch a noodle making demonstration and make 1 kilogram of noodles by hand using the traditional method. Once the chef approves the noodles, teams get their clue from (the late) He Pingping, the world’s shortest man and heaviest chain smoker.

(Toyouke: “Why is the World's Shortest Man involved in this Roadblock?”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Caite
2- Jet – (Toyouke: “I love Cord wearing his brother's hat on top of his own. I'm glad someone is checking their noodles.”)
3- Jordan – “Jet is magic with his hands.” (Toyouke: “I'll bet he is.”) And apparently this distracted him enough, because he had an awful time completing this Roadblock. So Dan goes and hugs him. (Auburnium0513: “Now THAT is a good and supportive brother! That's how you should treat your teammate when they are getting frustrated with a Roadblock.”)
4- Louie – “This is like something out of Lucille Ball.”

After much noodle making and chain smoking, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite – Caite: “Pingping was adorable!” (Auburnium0513: “He was so adorable? That's really condescending, Caite. He's a grown man.” Kmanpat: “Well, 21. Unfortunately the verb is now was.”)
3- Louie/Michael
4- Dan/Jordan – Dan: “You smell like noodles.”

Teams are then instructed to travel to the Shanghai Fashion District. Teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite
3- Louie/Michael
4- Dan/Jordan

Teams are instructed to go into the Fashion House, located next to the clue box, and work together to choose a model and a clothing design, find the articles of clothing to make the design, and then having the model put them on. If the team is correct, the designer will give them their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Oo, how good would we be in dressing models?”)

Teams design and get their clues in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord – Cord: “I’d take bull riding over clothing design.” Although, Cord did most of the designing.
2- Brent/Caite – Caite: “Do you need my tiara?” OK, now she’s making fun of herself. I want my lesbians back! (Toyouke: “Woman, do not joke about your tiara.”)
3- Louie/Michael – Louie: “We'd better hurry up, when Jordan gets here he's gonna catch us."
4- Dan/Jordan – and Jordan goes to town on this task, as predicted.

Teams are then instructed to take a taxi to Hongkou Football Stadium to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite
3- Louie/Michael – Michael: “Can we get some shooting? Kick a door in? Chase a crackhead?” (Toyouke: “Oh,yeah, "Chase a crackhead" would be a great task.”)
4- Dan/Jordan

And, in an unprecedented move by TPTB, teams come to the tenth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
*No Question Given*

In this roadblock, one team member must use a small picture to assemble a ninety-six card puzzle. Once it is assembled, the roadblocker should hand the cards in order over to the waiting crowd, who will then flip it over and reveal the section, row and seat number where the next clue is. Team members that completed the previous roadblock must sit out of the roadblock.

(Toyouke: “This is a weird Roadblock twist. Also a very long Roadblock. The wind is not cool.“)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Cord – who combats the wind by taking his clothes off. (Toyouke: “Cord is stripping down to hold down his tiles. Hee.”) (Section 20, Row 16, Seat 33)
2- Brent – (Toyouke: “Maybe Brent will have a Colin-level meltdown. “) (Section 3, Row 10, Seat 26)
3- Michael - (Section 17, Row 17, Seat 27)
4- Dan - (Section 8, Row 2, Seat 5)

After much puzzle solving, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord – (Toyouke: “I love watching Cord jump those railings. Yum. What can I say? I'm easy.”)
2- Brent/Caite
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Louie/Michael

Teams are now instructed to travel by Metro to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum. This is the PIT STOP of the tenth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in MAY be eliminated.

1- Jet/Cord – and they win a luxury trip to Alaska, including a wildlife cruise and glaciers.
2- Brent/Caite
3- Dan/Jordan – Jordan: "I like hugs." (Kmanpat: “So do I. Plant one here, boy.”)
4- Louie/Michael

And Louie and Michael are not eliminated, and find the third of three non-elimination legs, and the detectives will have to complete a Speed Bump on the next leg.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jet/Cord
2nd – Brent/Caite
3rd – Dan/Jordan
4th – Louie/Michael

Next week: Teams race through Shanghai! Everyone freaks out en route to the final three. (Toyouke: “Or maybe Daniel will have the Colin-level meltdown.”) Until next time!

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Project Runway 4/22/10--"Reunion" summary

It’s reunion time! Last season we didn’t even get one, and this season they’re making it part of the models’ show. It’s only half an hour and there is no Andy Cohen. So that’s two things going for it. (click for more)

Tim is hosting with Nina and not with Heidi. I wonder what that was about? They never explain it. They congratulate Seth Aaron, who is still pretty excited. His hair is really tall. Tim turns to Emilio and says something about how Emilio thought he would win, and Emilio just stares at him before saying “Yes.” He then continues to say he was shocked the judges never said they didn’t like his collection, but he still didn’t win. I guess he thought all the praise meant he should win. Nina explains that his show was more of a “line” then a “collection”. He says he respects that and then they drop it.

Anthony is still full of sound bites and of course people recognize him! What a silly question Nina! One of the models got recognized but the woman was just like “You look like that girl on that show!” Ping tells a weird story that seems to imply she forgot she was on TV and that people would recognize her.

Montage of designers switching models as if it’s a crime. Amy steals Emilio’s model, so he steals hers back and makes a crack that Amy must not appreciate her. Jonathan makes the comment that the judges don’t like anything he puts on his model so he’s switching models. Tim is like, why did you guys switch it up all the time? Jonathan turns to apologize to his model he ditched and says he wanted to stay in the competition and nothing was working. Emilio was surprised that Amy stole his model, so he said he took Amy’s model “to let Amy know that, I know what you’re doing.” Amy’s like, what was I doing? Plus then he claims his comment wasn’t personal, he just wanted to make the point to everyone that he knew what she was doing. Which apparently was to steal a good model, which isn’t all that horrible. They make his poor model talk about the stupid hot pink string bikini, and Emilio admits she kept him from losing. So why did he give up Holly later? Emilio gets offended and says he didn’t dump her, except…he was picking models and he picked someone else. He claims that he felt horrible because when he had her, everyone wanted her, but the minute she was free no one took advantage of that.

Favorite challenge? Mila and Jay both liked the hardware store challenge. Out of nowhere, Maya says she was surprised Jay won that challenge, because he had trash bags and they have been done a lot. Yeah, but they didn’t look like trash bags and everyone thought they were leather. Jay points that out to her and Nina backs him up. Jay then says he wanted his model to look like Mila and Maya: “bitchy”. Well that was unnecessary. Everyone laughs though.

Nina asks the models what outfit they wish they had worn. One girl says she wished she’d picked Amy during the burlap challenge because she really liked Amy’s dress. Remember the models were the clients in that challenge and so got to pick out their designers. (I had to look it up.) Anthony is kind of insulted but acts like he’s not, saying he made her a dress she wanted. I guess she sounded like she was saying “I wish I didn’t pick Anthony”. Eh, he’s fine. I don’t think he really minded a lot.

Tim brings up the confessional interviews. They air a lot of commentary, but nothing new that we haven’t seen on the show. A model says Jay is boring, very LA or Miami, designing for tanned blonde girls. The Irish girl, the one that Jonathan ditched. Emilio claims he’s quiet but then bitches about Tim, and then Jesse and Ping. Anthony has some good sound bites. After the montage there is a lot of apologizing: Mila apologizes for implying her model was stupid for picking Anthony, Anthony apologizes for calling Mila a “petty 50 year old that doesn’t love herself” in the New York Post. Tim tries to point out the problem with Anthony’s comment, but he’s like, I said it, I apologized, I can’t give her a kidney. Heh. Anthony says Emilio is like an African-American version of Tim. Then Emilio tries to claim he doesn’t trash talk anyone. Sure. Tim calls him on it. Jay brings up the comment Cerri made. (Yeah, I looked up her name.) He says he does want to be in LA one day. She says she meant no offense, and if that’s where he wants to be and he does it perfectly, then fantastic, she just doesn’t like it. Jay’s response is “That’s why I would never hire models with bad teeth and thick legs.” There is shocked silence while Jay looks smug. Seriously? Everyone jumps on him and he’s like, well, I never worked with Cerri, and for her to not know my point of view is hurtful. She did know your point of view, she just said she didn’t like it. Nina points out that she didn’t insult him personally, and he tries to say it’s the same, but it’s not the same. Someone has to prompt him to apologize. We bring up Ping and Jesse, and she is still upset that he attacked her. They talk about it some, and it seems like the distance from the incident has helped because they both can discuss what went wrong. Ping says he attacked her personally, calling her a bitch. He apologizes sincerely, saying he uses that word off the cuff but he didn’t mean it in a negative way. I can see that. He just curses randomly and people who don’t know that’s how he is assume he means it.

We talk about Maya quitting. She had just graduated and felt she was not ready to go all the way. She needs to figure out more of where she is headed. Also she does regret that she could have gone to Bryant Park, but she’s going to do it on her own. They also talk to Seth Aaron’s model, who essentially gave up winning this show to take a DKNY job. They doubled her fee and she had bills to pay. Seth Aaron’s current model, the one who did win, is emotional about her because they’re friends. Nina says this group is one of the most talented ever. Jonathan loves that Nina is true to her opinions. Tim knows he can make comments that do not match the judges, but they are out of love. Aww.

Montage of Tim comments.

The end! Until next time, thanks for reading! Clicky clicky

Project Runway 4/22/10--"Finale pt. 2" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Tim told Seth Aaron to change everything, Emilio refused to listen to Tim about anything, and Jay lost everything and was eliminated right before Bryant Park. (click for more)

Everyone talks about how excited they are to be in the finale and there is some trash talking. Seth Aaron’s collection is called “glamorous Hot Topic” by Mila. I know some people who would be all over that. Emilio says Mila’s garments are beautifully made but are very “severe” and “demure”. She retaliates by saying she can see his collection in a boutique in Harlem in 1994. Oo…Mila wins that round. Seth Aaron says Emilio’s collection is “older”.

Tim time! Seth Aaron has 24 looks. Complete looks. Wow. He’s got some color, but is going for cleaner looks that hopefully are more sophisticated. Tim asks if they’ve seen some of Emilio’s looks before. Emilio points out that sometimes what Tim says and what the judges say are different. That’s true, and how much less hostility would there be for Emilio if he had started out saying that instead of “Tim’s not a woman so what does he know?” Mila has some styling issues; namely that she needs to have rougher, more edgy styling. Tim tells all of them he’s excited for tomorrow. Are they showing tomorrow? They have model casting today. That doesn’t seem like enough time at all. How will they have time to fit everyone? How will they have their makeup consultation with Collier Strong?

Model casting is not super interesting. It usually isn’t. Mila wants edgy and Emilio says that he wants “global” models or whatever, but his tone says “See how awesome I am because I have ethnic models!” I fully admit I don’t like Emilio and that may color my opinion. Oh, they are having makeup consults now. Well then.

Model fittings happen right away. Emilio is fixing things now that he’s seen them on women. Everyone is doing last minute stuff and talking about how much they’ve worked on this and this is their dream and so forth. That is all the work time we will get. I want some more.

In the morning, the alarm goes off at 2:40am. Seth Aaron greets the day with cursing, much as I would if I had to wake up that early. Everyone goes into the tent and stares at the runway. Seth Aaron makes snow angels while Emilio is like “We don’t have time for you!” Hee. They start dressing people and doing hair and makeup, and I see someone putting on nail polish. Isn’t that dangerous? Two hours before the show someone tells Mila 3 of her models aren’t there yet. She doesn’t know how to replace them, and Emilio is having the same problem. With an hour left the models still aren’t there. Tim tells them they are pulling alternates. Lots of futzing.

There are audience shots of Jay and Jonathan. I wonder when they put them in the audience? Guest judge is Faith Hill. OK then.

I am going to do like last season, and place a link to the collections. This time I am linking to Blogging Project Runway, which is an excellent blog that posts this recap and many like it (often funnier). They also have all the news you could want. Every time I try to post pictures myself the formatting gets all wonky. Seth Aaron is up first. He thanks his family and says he was inspired by 1940’s Russian military. I love the first red dress, but not the weird tights. Actually I like most of his stuff. Maybe not the black dress in the middle, with the red belt and the vinyl center flap things. Love the pants with the yellow plaid. And the last coat (the next to last outfit) is fantastic. That purple dress is weird and lumpy.

Mila is freaking out. She keeps it together to talk about her collection and her shadow inspiration. There is a lot of black and white, and a lot of stripes. I like the third look, the one on the Asian model with some purple. Other than that, I am dying for some color. There are little bits of purple but not all that much. I do still like the last dress, the silver one she showed the judges last episode.

Emilio says his collection is called “Color Me Badd”. I know, but I can’t spell it any other way. Oh man, that reference is almost 20 years old. Now I feel old. Anyway, back to Emilio. Under the first coat, the dress has a similar look to the second, red dress. The sleeves and neckline are pretty much the same. Under the red coat (the fourth look) is a one-shouldered tight sheath dress in the print that I believe is somehow his name. I don’t know, everything is like, black and primary colors except for that print, and the last dress doesn’t seem to go with everything else. I think I liked Seth Aaron’s the best.

Cue the montage of multiple people talking about which collection was the best. My favorite? Raven-Simone talking about how Emilio was “bringing back the 90’s”, which makes me think his collection title is intentional. (Kmanpat: “Oh girl I think I love ya/I'm always thinkin' of ya/I want ch-ya to know I do it all for love!”) I’m better with bringing back the 90’s instead of the 80’s.

Judgment time. Heidi and everyone say they are very proud. Seth Aaron wanted to show innovation but still be himself. Kors says that his clothes are beautiful and powerful. It’s luxurious but still young, and wearable. Nina says his clothes are more sophisticated. Faith Hill and Nina liked his black and white pieces. Heidi does point out that the last dress, the purple one, is questionable. Emilio talks about sportswear and color and proportion and wearability. He claims the name is because color can amp up a collection but maybe you want to be bad today. Faith loves the coats. Kors tells him that his collection is very commercial, but the least commercial thing, the gown at the end, is the best. And then he does point out that the gown doesn’t really go with the rest of the collection. Nina thought it was heavy on the tailoring and coats and didn’t have enough feminine pieces. Mila talks about shadows and dimensions and textures. Heidi likes the changes she made. Kors likes that she modernized the styling, and also anything shiny. Heidi and Faith want some of the pieces. They tell her to relax some because it helps.

Kors feels Mila’s show is a culmination of the entire season. She made some modern pieces and mixed textiles well. However, it wasn’t surprising. Heidi counters that Seth Aaron’s collection wasn’t surprising either, that it was obviously him. Kors was impressed it was so sophisticated, but he almost overworks pieces. Nina thinks he is a little braver than the others. Emilio’s collection was well done, but he went commercial instead of going editorial. Kors calls it a “line” instead of a “collection”. So what is important? Who said the most? Who said the most all season? Or who has business sense? Emilio wasn’t the most exciting, but his clothes were the most flattering.

Heidi praises everyone. They certainly are very nice to everyone today. I feel like they usually aren’t but I don’t remember. Mila is out. She’s glad for the experience. Seth Aaron wins! Yay! I didn’t think I cared, but I did. Emilio is really upset, but he says he’s created a brand which was his plan and he’s excited about the future. Seth Aaron is moved to tears and he tells his kids that hard work does pay off. He jumps around and is generally cute.

ETA: Here's the reunion show!
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Project Runway 4/15/10--"Finale pt. 1" summary

Previously on Project Runway: there were about a million contestants, and then when Fashion Week rolled around, there were still 10 so the producers went “oh crap” and had that many decoys. Then Heidi must have offered to bail them out (they did have to pay for 10 collections), because they let the designers make her not one, but two dresses as challenges. Finally we were supposed to be down to three people, but then they decided to do a last minute challenge right before Bryant Park. Just like when they wanted to get rid of Chris March, but the guest judge thought he was awesome so they pretended to have a change of heart and they got rid of him later. Sometimes the producers don’t bother to hide what they’re doing. (click for more)

Heidi greets everyone for the last time on the runway, in some leopard print muumuu. Everyone gets $9000 and 4 months. Heidi makes it clear that only Mila and Jay are in danger of “not showing”. Emilio and Seth Aaron are automatically in, but Mila and Jay have to pick out three looks just before the show. Tim comes out to be proud and remind them they will have home visits. That’s the part where Tim pretends he likes to drive and be in the suburbs.

Mila says she must make sure she beats Jay. In the boy’s apartment, Seth Aaron shuts Jay in the closet. Yeah. Emilio is already talking about how he will beat everyone. Seth Aaron is also fairly confident.

Three months later (so that is one month before Fashion Week) Tim travels to Vancouver, WA, to visit Seth Aaron. He lives in a normal looking house. He’s done. No, really. He has 15 looks finished. His plan is to take 20 outfits to New York and edit it down to 10 when he gets there. Wow. He wants to not only win but “stomp” the competition. He has some fantastic coats, just like he’s been doing all competition. Tim tells him he could show all this stuff, and people would know what he was about and love it, but he won’t win. Tim says you have to surprise the judges. I guess…but then maybe the judges shouldn’t gush over his coats so much. Tim then tells him to “reconceptualize” the whole thing and he expects most of what’s done to go away. Seriously? With a month left? And 15 looks paid for? Normally I want everyone to listen to Tim but I don’t think this is a good idea. Then Tim does the thing where you say “I know you can do it, that’s why I expect so much from you” which is a thing I say to my students to guilt them into doing more work. Seth Aaron’s family is super cute. His wedding photos are so normal looking! Then they play Pictionary with Tim which is hilarious. He guesses “Fallopian tubes.” Then they make him get on a trampoline which is worth an Emmy I think. Better than Jay in a redneck wig brandishing a shotgun.

Back to New York for Emilio. They’re outside meeting Emilio’s brothers under a bridge. They praise him a lot and Emilio talks about how his parents were working class who wanted to give them a better life and they grew up in the South Bronx. Cue stock footage of the Bronx in the late 70’s. He brags about the birth of hip-hop as if he invented it. Emilio is about halfway finished with his collection. He starts in about how most people put a lot of black and gray into their fall lines but he is thinking about turquoise and red, and that’s together. I’m sorry, but he’s so arrogant it bugs me. I mean, I don’t have a problem with “everyone does it this way but I want to do it this way”, it’s just his tone says “everyone does it this way and they're morons so I’m doing it right.” He also has a dark chartreuse, and more print with his name on it. OH, jeez, and a gold cropped jacket that is painted or something. Tim says all the details get lost, and Emilio’s all, “I don’t design for the camera, I design for my clients.” If the judges don’t see your details, neither will your clients. Tim points this out. Emilio points out that he was very strong all season, like that matters. Tim is finally like, do whatever you want, but it’s old. Emilio interviews that last he checked, Tim doesn’t wear woman’s clothing so whatever.

Next up is Mila in L.A. There are three weeks left at this point. She says she’s not focusing on her three looks, she’s making a collection and she’ll just pull three awesome looks. Mila’s collection is about shadows, so it’s mostly black and white but also has eggplant. Tim points out that this will be a black and white collection, mostly, but that is Mila. She’s got a circular print but with sheer sleeves and shoulders. Tim says it’s headed for matronly and conservative. He’s really praising what she has much more than Seth Aaron or Emilio. Is that what really happened, I wonder? I went to see if I could find Tim’s blog but it hasn’t been updated yet. She talks about beating Jay, and now he is a “little shit”, which seems fairly harsh, but she goes on to say he’s annoying and she’s better. Tim gets to meet her parents and boyfriend. Tim points out the whole house is black and white. She even has a Dalmatian. She’s glad to have this chance to make her dreams come true.

Jay lives in San Francisco. W00t! He is taking inspiration from Japanese samurai. He has a skirt with black cut out sheer circles which is cool, so he needs a simpler top. He’s got a long coat with a peplum or something. Tim tells him this woman needs to have somewhere to go. Jay McCarroll’s clothes weren’t always things people could wear anywhere. This Jay has a jacket that Tim loves, with an obi style belt, but the sleeves are like, rings sewn together along one strip. Too gimmicky. Jay is pretty confident he can beat Mila, so he’s really thinking about what will beat Emilio and Seth Aaron. Jay takes him over to meet his parents who are cooking and seem somewhat starstruck. He has a similar story to Emilio: working class parents who were determined to make a better life for their children. There is also a random non-Filipino guy lurking around, which I think is Jay’s boyfriend probably, but we don’t meet him. He wants to pay his parents back, and he gets emotional about it. Aww.

Fashion week! Mila’s all thrilled. They have a very swank hotel suite. Jay thinks the judges will like his stuff more because he’s “current” and “innovative”. They’ve put Jay and Mila together, for maximum awkwardness. Jay points this out, that he’s been thinking about how to interact with her. She says she kind of keeps to herself, and they seem to kind of agree that they should at least be civil. As if they decided on their own to have a talk about their feelings. Seth Aaron shows up then to break the tension, saying he has changed up his collection and it’s nothing they’ve seen but is totally him. Emilio has also changed his collection up, proving he does listen to Tim sometimes. Magically, as if he heard his name, Tim shows up to the hotel and talks about how excited he is and that they’re two blocks from Bryant Park. Tomorrow it is time to work, so tonight they should relax. So let’s have some champagne!

The workroom only has three tables in it, like it would be such a pain in the ass to put up four tables and take one down later. Mila and Jay are showing today. Surprise! Everyone stares at Tim. They have three hours to fit models and do hair and makeup. Mila admits she hasn’t seen her clothes on people before. So…whoever wins this, will get direct feedback from the judges on their clothes. It didn’t matter before, but if I were Seth Aaron or Emilio I would be concerned. Of course, if I were Seth Aaron or Emilio I’d think I was the shit, so I probably wouldn’t care. Mila worries that Jay has color. He also has some leather shin guards that aren’t quite working right. I don’t think they’re zipping up. Emilio is helping Mila and Seth Aaron is helping Jay, which is a nice thing. Both Jay and Mila both cry about possibly not being able to show this collection. It loses something, knowing how many decoys they had and that they are in absolutely no danger of not showing their collection.

There is no guest judge today. Interesting. Less chance they can’t play favorites. Mila is up first. Her usual model comes out in a charcoal coat, loose and not fitted. There are darker square pockets. She opens it to show a sheath dress that has horizontal stripes on top, then a diagonal seam and a black skirt, with a vertical off-centered panel of black and white checks. It’s a lot going on. The net look is a loose coat with small black and white stripes that look weird on my TV. Underneath is a white shawl and white cuffs on something, another shirt maybe. The last look is a silver short dress, with a black collar. All fish scale sequins. The back of the skirt is slightly longer than the front. There is no color in any of the looks. It’s very Mila, but…I’m kind of bored.

Jay’s first look is a dark purple dress, fitted with a zipper all the way up the front. There are loops and stuff over her hips to exaggerate them. And half gloves, I think. The second look is a silver turtleneck with black loops over her shoulders (like he took loops of fabric and put them on her arms like water wings) and black pants with silver buttons all up the sides. When she turns around, you can see that the black is a shrug, and there are thin loops of fabric on the outside of her pants. Like she was wearing suspenders and she just let them fall alongside her legs. The last look has a very high collar and pockets. It’s a dark gray, and then red pants with black leather shin guards. The shin guards kind of look like high boots, but the collar is so high it almost hides her mouth. The collar is also in leather while the rest of the top is in cloth. Jay’s clothes are more interesting, but I’m still kind of blah about them.

Heidi likes Mila’s pieces and says she’d wear all of them because they’re simple with a twist. Kors says it’s tough when you have a look but you have to still surprise people. Everything is still very 60’s so he wants edgier makeup. Nina also wants more modern, and points out that if she ends up doing 6 collections a year she’ll have to do some color. Kors loves the half gloves and says that is edgy. They only have two fingers and a thumb on each hand, so most of the hand is exposed, which leaves room for some jewelry.

Heidi tells Jay he pumped up the volume. Kors likes all the work put into the clothes and he loves the black pants. Nina doesn’t really like the silver shirt and shrug. He needs to have one standout piece per outfit and edit down. Heidi starts talking about how she loves the shin guards and the short dress and how she’s going to make it more slutty with garter belts. The shin guards are like fat rings around her legs, sewn together in the front but not in the back. Heidi doesn’t know if the whole thing is cohesive, though. Kors says he loves that there is nothing retro about it. Ouch. Jay tells them how he and Mila are BFF now.

Kors wants to see Jay, Heidi wants to see Mila, and Nina is on the fence. Kors doesn’t really seem to like Mila’s retro sense, and Nina doesn’t think she’ll surprise them. Heidi says she has her own twist so it works. Jay has fantastic pieces but also some overworked stuff. Kors gives everyone a Yiddish lesson about things that are over decorated. Heidi worries that Jay will overdesign. Kors thinks it’s better to start with too much and edit down. Kors starts to talk about how he could fix something and Heidi tells him not to redesign.

I wish I could get excited about this drama. But not only did the loser today get a collection, but so did Anthony, and Jonathan, and so many people that the suspense is long gone. Heidi says they decided who was ready to show at Fashion Week, and that person is Mila. Knowing Jay still got to show a collection means I don’t feel that bad for him. He’s pretty upset though. I mean, he can’t win at this point but his clothes are still out there.

Next week: Seth Aaron has 24 looks. Emilio has something old. Mila is missing models. Someone wins something. Clicky clicky

TAR16, Recap Leg 9, 4/11/10

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on How DO You Say “Fast” In Malaysian?, teams flew from the Seychelles to Penang, Malaysia. The Cops incite Team Like the Iraq to U-Turn the Lesbians should the opportunity arise. The Cowboys beat the Speed Bump and surge from worst into first, while Steve and Allie, though bagless, have difficulty finding the right temple for the detour and perform a Bald Snark, which smacks them squarely into last, and they are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
2nd – Carol/Brandy, The Lesbians
3rd – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock
4th – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
5th – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!

Pinang Peranakan Mansion, Penang, Malaysia

10:02 AM Jet/Cord (1st)
Clue: Make your way 400 miles by bus and train to the country of Singapore! Once there, find the Victoria Concert Hall and search the grounds for Allan Wu, host of TAR Asia, who will give you your next clue. You have $190 for this leg of the race.

CAUTION: U-TURN AHEAD

10:12 AM Carol/Brandy (2nd)
10:31 PM Louie/Michael (3rd)
10:50 PM Brent/Caite (4th) – Caite: “We have to U-Turn the Lesbians!” (Toyouke: “I'm not particularly attached to the lesbians, but I feel that all this stupid "They're so mean they deserve to be gone" whining is tiresome. Call the whambulance and the rest of us can get on with our lives.”)
11:09 PM Dan/Jordan (5th) – who talk about how they are playing a clean game, and unless it means that they would be out, are not going to play a U-Turn or a Yield.

Teams arrive at the bus station and get busses in the following order:

Bus 1, departs 10:47 AM
1) Jet/Cord

Bus 2, departs 11:00 AM
1) Carol/Brandy

Bus 3, departs 12:00 PM
1) Louie/Michael
2) Brent/Caite
3) Dan/Jordan – who find out that the other two teams on their bus REALLY don’t like the lesbians and feel that they are a threat. (Toyouke: “'I learned a new phrase! "U-Turn the shit out of them!" Now I will use it every 5 minutes like a 6 year old! '”) Jordan: “I think they just don’t like the lesbians, but that’s not a reason to use the yield.” Oh, but he was all ready to go ballistic all up on them if they had said they were yielding them for being gay, which was excellent. (Toyouke: “Leave it to Jordan to know exactly what is really going on.”)

Teams arrive in Kuala Lumpur, which is where the teams transfer from the bus to the train. All teams get on the 9:30 PM train to Tanjang Pagar Station in Singapore. As the train is arriving, the lesbians jockey for position, prompting comments from the teams that don’t like, such as, The Iraq, like them, such as the Detectives? And such, like, as. (Toyouke: “Oh ladies get their way but bitches don't? Apparently asshats can't get their way either. However…I probably wouldn‘t let people by on the train. “)

Teams arrive and get taxis in the following order:

1- Louie/Michael
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Dan/Jordan
4- Brent/Caite
5- Jet/Cord

Teams taxi and arrive at Victoria Concert Hall and find Allan Wu (Toyouke: “Woo! TARAsia!”) in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan – who know exactly who they are looking for and avoid going inside. (Toyouke: “Jordan! Smart! Knowing he'd be outside!”)
2- Louie/Michael
3- Jet/Cord
4- Brent/Caite
5- Carol/Brandy

Teams open the envelope and find all sorts of surprises.

In front of the clue envelope, we find the FAST FORWARD!

FAST FORWARD:

Recall (if you can, since we see these so rarely anymore) that a fast forward is a task that can be performed to allow one team to skip all remaining tasks and head directly to the pit stop. However, each team may only use their fast forward power once on the race, so they must decide when it is more advantageous to use it. In this, the only fast forward on this race, (Toyouke: “ONLY ONE FAST FORWARD? WTF IS THAT?!?!?!”) teams must travel to the Singpore Flyer, which Phil describes as a “giant wheel of fortune” and take the observation wheel to the top. Once at 541 feet, teams must climb out of their car and travel from one car to the other in the air. Once complete, they get their next clue and skip all remaining tasks and travel directly to the Pit Stop.

Teams decide to go for the Fast Forward in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan – which is a good move, actually, because it is so rare for them to be in first, and it guarantees a first place finish for them. But Jordan freaks out. Dan: “If you fall and die, I love you.”
2- Louie/Michael – who decide that they Detour they chose was too hard and try for it. When they arrive, Dan and Jordan are attempting, so they leave and go to the other Detour. (Toyouke: “This is why they should have more Fast Forwards. Then it would have been worth it for Michael and Louie to go for it, because maybe the teams ahead of them didn't bother. If you only have one, then the first place team goes for it and everyone else might as well not bother.”)

So – Ferris Wheel, climbing, Fast Forward for their team. They get their Fast Forward and travel to the PIT STOP at Marina Barrage. Jordan: “Oh, I can see it from up here!”

All other teams now get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Pounding the Drums OR Pounding the Pavement
*Pounding the Drums: Teams must travel Speaker’s Corner and find a child to teach them how to play a complex drum routine. Once learned, teams perform it with a group on stage. If they perform it correctly, a performer will give them their next clue.
*Pounding the Pavement: Teams must travel to a pedestrian mall, where they collect a box of wafers, a loaf od bread, 2 umbrellas, 4 chairs and 10 boxes of ice cream and then find an Ice Cream Uncle, make and sell 25 ice cream sandwiches to get their next clue from the Uncle. (Auburnium0513: “Ice cream and actual bread? Eeww.”)

1-Jet/Cord choose Pounding the Drums
2-Brent/Caite choose Pounding the Drums
3-Louie/Michael choose Pounding the Drums – who, as we have learned, give up on this task, and bald snark to the Fast Forward. Michael: “We’re off like a prom dress.” Once they realize it has been taken, they Double bald snark to Pounding the Pavement and sell ice cream.
4-Carol/Brandy choose Pounding the Drums – Carol wants to give up, and she and Brandy persevere.

(Auburnium0513: “So it seems that all the teams agree with me about the appeal of bread and ice cream.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite – Caite: “Where’s the U-Turn? I want to U-Turn the Lesbians! They hurt my feelings!”
2- Louie/Michael
3- Carol/Brandy
4- Jet/Cord

Teams are then instructed to travel to Penang Road and Orchard Road in order to find Istana Park.

After that, teams arrive at the park in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Louie/Michael
4- Jet/Cord

When they arrive, teams find the U-Turn.

This is the second U-Turn of the Race. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is not blind, so teams must reveal whom they u-turned.

1-Caite/Brent choose to U-Turn Carol/Brandy – which is not a shocker in the least. (Toyouke: “I mean...they're behind...so...really it makes sense to U-Turn them. But you're only doing it because of ONE comment made ON THE FIRST LEG. Seriously.”)
2-Carol/Brandy have been U-Turned - so they head back to Pounding the Pavement. And Brandy makes fun of Caite the whole way. (Toyouke: “Man I wish the lesbians HAD been making fun of Caite this whole time. It's better than Millie Mole.” Auburnium0513: “Actually, Carol and Brandy, it's really smart of her to U-Turn you. You are a stronger team than hers.” Kmanpat: “EVERY team is a stronger team than hers.”)
3-Louie/Michael cannot U-Turn
4-Jet/Cord cannot U-Turn

Teams then get their clue, which is right next to the U-Turn box, in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Louie/Michael
3- Jet/Cord
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams are now instructed to travel to ASL Marine Shipyard to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Louie/Michael
3- Jet/Cord
4- Carol/Brandy

And teams come to the eighth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready to add some stress to their day?
In this roadblock, both team members must dress in appropriate attire, and then one will go onto the dock and count anchor chain links. Once they get the correct number (521), the foreman will give them their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Brent
2- Michael – who pulls out his umpire pitch counter. (Auburnium0513: “Smart packing, detectives!”)
3- Jet
4- Carol

After much link counting (Toyouke: “Are...are they shouting random numbers to screw them up? That's fantastic!”), teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Louie/Michael – who forgot their clipboard, and then try to steal the lesbian cab in order to make up time. (Toyouke: “Oo, I do not approve of cab poaching ever.” Auburnium0513: “Thank goodness the cabbie had a sense of integrity. That was about to be some dirty racing with cab thievery!”)
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams are then instructed to travel to Santosa Island and find the MegaZip, a 1200 foot zip line. They arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Louie/Michael
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams Zip line and get to the base to arrive in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Jet/Cord
3- Louie/Michael
4- Carol/Brandy

Teams are now instructed to travel to Marina Barrage. This is the PIT STOP of the ninth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in MAY be eliminated.

1- Dan/Jordan – and they each win a motor bike. Dan: “Thank you, but neither of us will use them.” Jordan: “Our mother would kill us!” (Auburnium0513: “'Thanks for the prize...it sucks, but we still love it!"”)
2- Brent/Caite – Caite: “We u-turned the lesbians because they were mean to me!” (Toyouke: “I enjoy mocking Brent and Caite. See, if they'd been doing that all season, then yeah, mean old lesbians. But they haven't.')
3- Jet/Cord – Jet: “The closest thing to a musical instrument that we play is a radio.”
4- Louie/Michael
5- Carol/Brandy

And Carol and Brandy are eliminated. They are convinced that the u-turn was vindictive rather than strategic (which it was) and don’t feel they should be eliminated. That’s ok. You’ll probably get to run decoy for the rest of the race anyway.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Dan/Jordan
2nd – Brent/Caite
3rd – Jet/Cord
4th – Louie/Michael

In two weeks (due to the American Country Music Awards): Teams race to Shanghai! Puzzles blow away in the wind! And Poppin’ Fresh Jordan is not laughing when he gets poked in the stomach! Until next time! Clicky clicky

Project Runway 4/8/10--"The Big, Top Designers" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the producers got bored and decided to just repeat another challenge from this season. I mean, I know it’s been a very long season (remember the burlap? That was this season), but seriously. Anyway, Maya had enough of the pressure and she quit, so they brought back Anthony, which everyone was excited about. Then Anthony won, and Emilio also won, which was only because Jessica Alba loved Anthony’s dress but the challenge wasn’t about her. Jonathan went home, I think he made a horrible dress on purpose as a big F U to the judges. (click for more)

Anthony sings and is annoyingly cheerful. He wants to pump up the volume. He seems to have had his coffee already. This is the final challenge before “Bryant Park”. Mila is shocked to be there. She doesn’t have anyone to talk to anymore, being the last woman left.

Heidi pretends there will be no decoys and four people will be headed to Fashion Week. She is sending them to a tent. It would be awesome if they had to make outdoorsy clothes out of tarps or something, but you know that won’t be it. Anthony, however, believes this will be “rugged” and that he does not have rugged clothes. As if any of you are surprised. “You cannot wear Gucci drivers in the mountains.”

Instead they go to Ringling Brothers. Anthony is more disturbed than if they had gone camping. Tim appears but is not wearing a top hat and tails which is SO disappointing. The final 5 designers must design a “high end” runway look “inspired” by the circus. Mila says the circus is full of inspiration. Now the designers get their own performance, all by themselves in the tent. Sigh. Jay, much like Kmanpat and I when we go to Cirque du Soleil, can do nothing but stare at the shirtless male acrobats. (Kmanpat: “…huh? Did you say my name? Oo, boys!”) Seth Aaron says there are “clowns” and also “funny-ass clowns”. Tim comes back out and tells them to make fashion and not costumes, then gives them half an hour to sketch.

Emilio goes with stripes and polka dots. He thinks his theater experience gives him an edge. Tim said no costumes! Mila is inspired by the ringmaster. Anthony starts talking about the acrobat, the female one, and her blue-gray outfit. (Kmanpat: “…there was a girl acrobat?”) He talks about her performance: “She was just throwin’ herself everywhere and I was like ‘Work!‘ and I knew in that moment she was my inspiration.” Jay has decided not to draw the male acrobats and instead is making pleats based on the clowns. Seth Aaron talks about how much is going on at the circus but doesn’t say much about his design. Tim gives them $300 at Mood for shopping.

Two day challenge! Cheering! Seth Aaron has thick black and white stripes. Anthony says everyone has black, white, stripes, and red, and he’s the only one with blue. Emilio says there are no second chances, except Anthony would beg to differ. He continues this thought aloud in the workroom, about how he has one goal, to win, and he’s not shy about it, etc. Mila calls him on it and says, uh, duh, and he’s like, what are you trying to say? She tells him he talks about it frequently so everyone knows already. He wants people to pee on themselves when his model comes out. Mila is tired of his ego. They certainly have found enough footage of his talking about how awesome he is. Anthony steals a yardstick from Emilio. Jay talks about not making it, which is suspicious. Emilio has everyone look at his dress. Anthony goes into the sewing room and announces to Mila that Emilio just had “a viewing party” for his dress. Mila is unamused.

Tim time! Seth Aaron has black and white stripes that for some reason remind me of Jeffrey’s green dress with the zippers from his final collection. Seth Aaron is making a coat with boning and a tie and a top hat. Tim I don’t think likes the hat. He tells him to think about styling and no costumes. Emilio also has stripes but it’s poofy. You can tell when he talks he loves his dress to death. Tim asks him where the color is, because, circus. Emilio is all, but I’m abstracting the color, or whatever, and Tim is like, we want you to use more color! Circus! Then Emilio gets all defensive and says he never uses black and white, and then they cut footage in of three looks with color, and I know how many challenges there have been. Three is not a majority. Tim reminds him last time his bronze gown was “somber” so he feels that counts. Emilio refuses to listen to Tim. Stupid. Anthony says he was left out of the black and white, but Tim of course says he’ll stand out. He’s making sure he has a good foundation dress with his color. Tim says, viscera, and also no contrivances. Anthony is making sure to get a dictionary when he gets back to Georgia to make sure he knows what Tim is talking about. Hee! Mila is making a black coat but with ivory panels, but Tim says to ditch the panels. She also wants stripes on the back and he thinks she should put them on the front too. Jay wanted to combine the ringleader with the clowns. He has very wide pants and a red “bad bitch” jacket.

There is a lot of working and a lot of black and white stripes that are making me dizzy. Anthony is freaking out because he doesn’t know what he should do.

Day two. Wow, I really haven’t written that for a while. First thing, Anthony changes his bodice. Jay starts talking about how people believe in him and he used to not push himself but now he believes he can do it. The models come in and fitting commences. Seth Aaron says Mila’s outfit is shiny but he doesn’t totally hate it. Emilio realizes TIM WAS RIGHT and he puts some color in. Anthony thinks there are a lot of costumes in the room.

Jay’s coat is red with black horizontal tabs. Anthony saves me the trouble of describing it for you by exclaiming “Oh! You’re making a Michael Jackson coat!” Now you all know what it looks like. Jay kind of freaks out, because he can’t tell if they’re serious. They are though, it totally is.

So…that was all of day two. Mila “feels like [she’s] going to be OK.” Emilio is focused. Maybe he will shut up for a while. Seth Aaron says this is the only day he has been nervous this whole time. Emilio is not too focused to brag because he tells us he wants this dress to be “the dress of the season”. BLAH. Anthony freaks out because the dress is too big. Mila says Anthony and Jay should be out because Anthony is inconsistent and Jay doesn’t know enough about textiles or whatever. Honey, if Lindsay Lohan can have a collection, Jay certainly can. Jay, for his side, says he doesn’t think Mila can show a good enough collection that is dramatic enough. Everyone talks about how badly they want it and how excited they are. Unfortunately before they leave we get one more interview from Emilio about how he didn’t come to beat Seth Aaron or Anthony or whoever, but he came to win for himself and be #1. Does all this talking mean he’s out and you had to use up his sound bites?

Heidi clarifies the judging for tonight, which I totally missed if she said it before: there will be two eliminations today. Guest judge today is Cynthia Rowley. Jay: red fitted jacket with a wide neckline and a black panel in the front, trimmed in gold. He still has the black tabs but because the neckline is so wide and so much of her chest is exposed the Michael Jackson comparison is not so obvious. Then there are some black pants that are supposed to be pleated but they just look like normal tapered pants. The jacket also has black shoulder poofs and cuffs. Upon closer inspection the pants are sort of wide in the hip and may possibly have an insane crotch. Mila: black jacket with black and white stripes along the lapels and down the front, and also along the sleeves (vertically). There are tails with more stripes and the front of the jacket is long enough to look like a skirt. Under the jacket is a bright yellow top and neon pink tight pants. The top has a black diagonal strap. The back of the jacket has white piping to accentuate her waist and a big kick pleat of stripes. Nina looks like she might laugh. Anthony: blue dress with a long skirt, slit up the middle, and two big pieces of fabric running from the middle of the waist over each shoulder like wings. It sounds stupider than it looks. There’s a short train. Emilio: well. Let’s start from the bottom. There is sheer black fabric with white polka dots in a ruffle on the skirt, which is knee length in front but down to a train in the back. Then the rest of the skirt is vertical black and white stripes, sewn so it lies in bunches. As if she gathered it in her hands, kind of like a bubble skirt but with more bubbles, if you will. The waist is black, and then above that is a strapless bodice with more stripes, but these are red and black and white and are diagonal. There is so much going on in this dress. Seth Aaron: black and white striped jacket, with the stripes horizontal on the sleeves and back and vertical on the shoulders and front panel. It’s all very tight except for the shoulders and the ends of the sleeves which extend down past her hands. The inside is lined with yellow, and there is yellow piping as an accent between the vertical and horizontal pikes. And then high waisted bright red pants. Under the jacket is a white shirt with a giant collar that sticks up past her ears.

Seth Aaron says he didn’t think to hard but went with it. The judges like the sense of drama but Nina thinks it’s too costumey. Cynthia likes the “defying gravity” parts of the collars. Kors calls insane crotch on the pants. Anthony didn’t want costume but he wanted some drama. Nina is bored with the skirt, and Kors and Cynthia nag him about his fabric choice. Kors actually gets up to feel the skirt, and all the judges recoil in horror upon discovering it’s polyester. Jay is asked to take off the jacket, revealing…a black tank top and black pants. Jodhpur pants. It’s nicely made but boring. Mila made her jacket out of “laminated wool herringbone”. Kors loves how it’s dramatic without being costumey, but Nina needs convincing. Cynthia, even though she is wearing a whole dress in the exact same color, hates the color of the pants. Emilio sewed the entire dress out of one piece of fabric, and then the judges fall all over themselves trying to praise it. Huh? Are we gearing up to an Emilio win? Because that would irritate me. Nina says an outfit should speak to a woman. Yeah, his outfit says I'm crazy.

Heidi asks everyone why they should go to Fashion Week, and who should go with them. Seth Aaron can tailor and is well rounded, and would like Emilio and Jay to come with him. Jay is confident he can do this, and wants Seth Aaron and Anthony with him. This makes him cry. Anthony too. Mila is strong and thoughtful, and wants to compete with Seth Aaron and Emilio. Emilio, of course, thinks he is awesome. Do I need to repeat why he’s awesome? Didn’t think so. He wants the strongest designers, to compete with the best, and nice way to kiss ass while at the same time delivering backhanded insults to the two you don’t pick. Anyway, he picks Seth Aaron and Mila. Anthony can make beautiful clothes and also he uses “viscera”. He wants to compete against Emilio and Jay. Why do they make them do that? It’s not like they take that into account.

Everyone loves Emilio. Blah blah blah. Seth Aaron’s outfit was not as well loved but it did have a lot of things going for it and it makes them excited for his collection. They are still shocked that Anthony didn’t know he bought polyester, or maybe that he bought it at all. Mila’s outfits are sometimes flat but today her jacket was kind of OK. Jay’s clothes are modern but never 100% right. Kors trots out that old chestnut of “I don’t know who he is as a designer”.

Emilio, of course, is in. He claims to be humbled. Seth Aaron is in. Anthony is out. Mila is in. And then Jay is also in. WTF? Kors and Nina look pissed. Heidi says they will both have collections but only one will show. So…is this like the previous season where they couldn’t get rid of Chris March right away so they did it right before Fashion Week? Only Seth Aaron and Emilio are safe from that? Mila and Jay go backstage and explain themselves in front of Anthony. WTF, Lifetime? Quit jacking up my show. Anthony promises to see them later and don’t disappoint him.

Next week: home visits! Emilio is a jerk! Mila cries and is emotional! Clicky clicky

TAR16, Recap Leg 8, 4/4/10

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on If You’re Going to the Seychelles Islands, Be Sure to Leave Your Bags Upon the Shore, teams took the slow flight to Africa. Coconuts fell out of carts, Steve and Allie left bags at a task, and the Cowboys made so many mistakes they galloped right into last place. . . but found the second of three non-elimination pit stops. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Steve/Allie, Team World Series
2nd – Dan/Jordan, Team I Love You Bro!
3rd – Brent/Caite, Team Like The Iraq Such As
4th – Louie/Michael, Team Sherlock
5th – Carol/Brandy, The Lesbians
6th – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers

St. Pierre Island, the Seychelles

7:22 PM Steve/Allie (1st)
Clue: Fly 5100 miles to Penang, Malaysia! Board the 2 AM “Twin Spirit” Ferry to the Mahé Airport. Once you arrive in Penang, make your way to the Snake Temple to get your next clue. You have $128 for this leg of the race.

(Auburnium0513: “More bunching, really? Wait, the cowboys are in last, I'm okay with the bunching if it helps the cute cowboys.”)

7:36 PM Dan/Jordan (2nd) – Jordan reminds us that it is his dream to win the Amazing Race. I think he needs to dream bigger.
9:15 PM Brent/Caite (3rd) – who call the detectives “The Daddies.” (Toyouke: “Calling the detectives "Daddy" would be SO DIFFERENT if it was Brent and not Caite. I'm just saying. Well...not that different.” Auburnium0513: “As long as we’re talking about Caite, what's with the glittery headband?”)
9:16 PM Louie/Michael (4th)
10:19 PM Carol/Brandy (5th) – Carol: “We’re a strong team! We’re competitive!”
10:22 PM Jet/Cord (6th)

Teams arrive at the ferry. Like the Iraq and the Detectives discuss their dislike for the lesbians a little bit more, giving a bit of foreshadowing to a potential Yield or U-Turn in the future. (Toyouke: “Are the lesbians a threat? Or are they mean to Caite and her sparkly headband?”) When Steve and Allie arrive, the detectives loan them some clothing. (Toyouke: “'Hard man to fill his pants.' Hee.”) Teams take the ferry to Mahé, arrive at the airport and all get on the same flight to Dubai and on to Penang. Cue the Amazing Red Line!

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Brent/Caite
2- Steve/Allie
3- Louie/Michael
4- Carol/Brandy
5- Dan/Jordan
6- Jet/Cord – Cord: “How do you say ‘fast’ in Malaysian?” Jet: “Fast!”

Teams teksi (Toyouke: “Hey, my dad was right. He said when he was in the Peace Corps that the people who had the easiest time learning Malay were people from the East Coast and that it was close to English in a lot of places. Like "teksi".”) and arrive at the Snake Temple in the following order:

1- Dan/Jordan – who somehow got the fastest cab driver in Malaysia.
2- Brent/Caite
3- Steve/Allie
4- Carol/Brandy
5- Louie/Michael
6- Jet/Cord

Teams now get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Buddhist Tradition OR Chinese Tradition
*Buddhist Tradition: Teams must travel to Tien Kong Than Temple and carry four 10 foot, two 8 foot and six 6 foot incense sticks up 150 steps to the temple. Once there, teams place the incense in the correct order in the burner, light the tips and get their next clue from the proctor.
*Chinese Tradition: Teams must travel to Padang Kota Lama Park Esplanade and choose a pair of chengay, which are giant flagpoles 42 feet long. Teams then carry the flags on their heads 120 feet across the park to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Seriously? 'Balance a giant flag on your forehead'? Is that a thing you can master in 10 minutes?” Auburnium0513: “I know how hard it is to balance a broom on your hand, like hell if I'm going to balance a flagpole on my HEAD. Incense sticks all the way.”)

1-Carol/Brandy choose Buddhist Tradition – Brandy: “This is the 10000 step climb of Lao Tzu.”
2-Brent/Caite choose Buddhist Tradition – Brent: “I wish God would turn on the air conditioning.” (Toyouke: “Yeah, I'm sure he'll get right on that.” God: "Sorry, I can't reach the thermostat from the tub.")
3-Jet/Cord choose Chinese Custom – Jet: “We picked this skill up as kids when we saw a broom, got bored, and started betting who could balance it on their nose.”
4-Louie/Michael choose Buddhist Tradition – (Toyouke: “No your cab driver is not like Jason Bourne.”)
5-Dan/Jordan choose Buddhist Tradition – The brothers let their awesome cab go at Snake Temple, and go to the wrong temple for the Detour, after trying to get out of their cab and run when traffic got thick. Oops.
6-Steve/Allie choose Buddhist Tradition – They also go to the wrong temple for the detour, and then decide to try Chinese Custom. When Allie complains loudly enough, Steve relents and they Bald Snark back to Buddhist Tradition. (Toyouke: “Steve, that's not the way to choose a Detour.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Brent/Caite – (Toyouke: “Shut up about beating the lesbians. It's like Lynn and Alex bitching about Boston Rob all the time.”)
3- Carol/Brandy
4- Louie/Michael
5- Dan/Jordan
6- Steve/Allie

Teams are then instructed to travel to Teluk Bahang and find Koli Sri Singsonuga Kaliamann Temple. Once there, a number of things happen.

When they arrive first, Jet and Cord find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this, the second of three speed bumps, teams must make their way to Tropical Spice Garden and find the spice tea lady. Teams then smell the crushed spices she has and determine which one of three teas was made from the spices. Teams then deliver the correct tea to the meditating guru in the swing. If it is correct, they will receive their next clue.

(Toyouke: “I like this Speed Bump. Can't we have that as a task?” Auburnium0513: “These speed bumps are getting more and more substantial as the seasons progress...”)

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord – after they get it wrong once.

After that, teams arrive at the temple in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Louie/Michael
4- Brent/Caite
5- Dan/Jordan – whose cab driver stops for gas. Jordan: “Is this completely necessary?” (Toyouke: “Yes, generally gasoline is necessary for driving. You shouldn't have given up your awesome cab driver.”)
6- Steve/Allie

And teams come to the seventh roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Whose life could use a splash of color?
In this roadblock, one team member must smash coconuts and find one with colored milk. Then, the roadblocker must use local materials and create a Hindu float offering. Once complete, the float gets given to the guru and set out to sea, and teams get their next clue.

(Auburnium0513: “Oh, I would ROCK at this Roadblock. ‘Make something pretty based on this guide?’ I'm all over that, I have mad design skills!”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Jet
2- Carol
3- Louie
4- Caite – (Toyouke: “Why does Caite taking her coconut to the ocean get the Fake Chariots of Fire theme?”)
5- Jordan – (Kmanpat: “Jordan doesn’t need a splash of color; he’s a rainbow unto himself.” Toyouke: “Of course Jordan is taking this one. And of course he screws it up.“)
6- Allie

After much coconut smashing and float building, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jet/Cord
2- Carol/Brandy
3- Louie/Michael – (Toyouke: “"Come On, You Coconut-Smashing Fool!" should have been the episode title.”)
4- Brent/Caite
5- Dan/Jordan
6- Steve/Allie

Teams are now instructed to travel to Pinang Peranakan Mansion. This is the PIT STOP of the eighth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in MAY be eliminated.

1- Jet/Cord – and they win a trip for 2 to Maui with five nights and massage, luau and romantic dinner for 2. I’ll have a Romantic dinner for 2 with a cowboy, please. (Toyouke: “I’ll take the other one.”)
2- Carol/Brandy – Carol: “We’re waiting for the eyebrow, Phil!”
3- Louie/Michael
4- Brent/Caite
5- Dan/Jordan
6- Steve/Allie

And Steve and Allie are eliminated. And not because they had no clothing either. They both are very emotional about the loss.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jet/Cord
2nd – Carol/Brandy
3rd – Louie/Michael
4th – Brent/Caite
5th – Dan/Jordan

Next week: Teams race to Singapore. There seems to be heights. And Jordan apparently doesn’t do them well. Oh and Brent and Caite annoy the lesbians. (Toyouke: “I don't care what Brent and Caite do. “) Or something. Until next time! Clicky clicky

Project Runway 4/1/10--"Sew Much Pressure" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the designers had to design their own fabric, which actually was a pretty cool thing. I think everyone was pleased with how their textiles turned out. The outfits were not as great. Mila made this maxi dress with a rainbow fabric, that was ugly and her model couldn’t walk in it, but then they just blamed her model. Jonathan made a pretty dress but they attacked that too, and the backwards coat he included with it. I didn’t think it was that bad. But Anthony made a very odd shrug and the judges have decided to be bored with Anthony so he went home. Seth Aaron, though, made another super tailored outfit with a million details and he won. Mila made a cute dress but her million details were not as cool, I guess. (click for more)

Everyone is saddened that Anthony is gone. I think they’re bored. Mila says in the last challenge the judges were hard on everyone. Not everyone. She says her age and experience have taught her to take criticism and move on. Maya says she’s the youngest and it’s getting harder.

Heidi says their designs have to set them apart. Today they will be designing for an opinionated celebrity. A “difficult” celebrity, says the chyron. Seth Aaron says he’s totally nervous.
Tim grins at all of them in the workroom. It will be a red carpet look, for Heidi. We ALREADY had this challenge. Seriously? You couldn’t find another celebrity? I am bored and it’s only been three minutes. Heidi talks at them about how picky she is and they’ll have a dossier but all I can notice is how she’s like, two inches taller than Tim. They’ll get $300 at Mood, after 30 minutes of sketching. Is she going to actually wear this dress? Unlike Jay’s dress? Seriously, they already designed a dress for Heidi this season. Sketching begins, and then there’s a bang and shots of the door and Maya’s empty workstation. Where’d she go? No one says anything, they just start talking about how they’re working hard and Mila doesn’t do red carpet often but Jonathan is pretty confident. And Maya’s still gone. Jay wants some detailing that will be captured by the cameras, but small. Emilio feels the dress needs to yell instead of whisper. Maya is still gone. WE GET IT. She’s not at her station working. All of a sudden she comes back in with Tim and Tim gives the “gather round” and she says she’s quitting. So that’s why she didn’t have a finale collection. But why is this out of the blue? Whenever someone has a powwow with Tim they show it. If we didn’t know she didn’t show a collection this would be out of left field. She says she’s not ready to “go all the way”. Everyone is confused. She feels like she’s not fully developed, and they show a shot of Nina telling her she is too referential. Now we see the talk with Tim, where she tells him that she isn’t sure of her point of view, and that she has a hard time “performing on command”. It’s time to go. Everyone interviews that they’re shocked and she’s so close and no one understands. Emilio thinks it’s a copout; she should have designed some crazy shit and gone down in flames. “Quitters never win.” Well…generally that is how that works.

Everyone stands around talking about how unexpected this was and how they think she freaked out at the thought of making it all the way and having to make a collection. Seth Aaron defends her, saying they work long hours and that if you think she shouldn’t have quit then “fuck off”. Tim comes back in and tells everyone they need to rally and buy fabrics. He tells them “don’t disappoint Heidi” which doesn’t have the same ring to it as “don’t bore Nina!” Mila doesn’t have black and white! Seth Aaron does have black! Exciting!

The five remaining designers return and start working. Tim comes back in…again…and says that they expected six designers so they’re bringing someone back. Why? Why not just have five? Obviously you don’t care about how many there are because you had 87 decoy collections. Anthony comes back in all loud and interviews “Who wants Anthony back? Hell, who WOULDN’T want Anthony back? I like him, you should like him too!” Hee. Seth Aaron tells him he knew Anthony would have talked himself back on the show. Tim tells him he will still get the same amount of money and time. Anthony thinks it would be wonderful if the judges will have to change their minds about him.

Jay is sewing strips together. Jonathan wants more than one day for Heidi and his cutwork: sewing fabrics together and then cutting away to make patterns. Emilio’s fabric is kind of see-through so he needs a good lining. Tim comes back in…again…and tells Seth Aaron he needs to speak to him. Oo, that doesn’t sound good. It’s like getting called to the principal’s office. It might be something good, but probably not. Mila can’t focus. Seth Aaron returns and says that he’s just lost his model. So during the model show, they made a huge giant deal about how his model got booked for a Donna Karen job the same day as the next runway show, so if she wanted it she’d have to quit, and they made her tell everyone her decision during model selection, and she said she’d stay. But now apparently she’s changed her mind. Stupid. So the last model eliminated is returning also, and Seth Aaron says she‘s not the same shape as his old model but oh well. Everyone works hard.

Tim time! And Heidi! Seth Aaron has a “smoke” black dress that will be long. Heidi is bored. Anthony has black and white, that will move. He doesn’t have a lot done at the moment. Emilio has sequins and a mermaid bottom. It will be difficult. Jay’s dress may make Heidi look like she has a giant ass. He says she’ll be wearing a piece he designed…which they haven’t actually said yet. They get into a discussion about the gap in the bustier, which Jay says is like the space in her bra, but she’s got a push-up bra on so the girls are smashed together. Which she shows him by pulling down her top and shoving her boobs in his face. Tim is like, “Look at this experience you’re having!” Hee. Mila has three fabrics, and her dress is not too simple but the others might be better. Jonathan has a bad curtain print. The print he’s been cutting for eight hours. Tim says if he can make it work it will make a very good impression on how well he works and responds to criticism. And how versatile he is.

Jonathan imitates Heidi demanding a gang of stuff, and says it would take a week. The models come in and the designers fill them in on the gossip about Maya. Seth Aaron has to scramble to refit the dress. Jay might ignore Heidi and Tim and do what he planned. Jonathan hates his drapey dress. Oo, yeah, it is fugly. So he’s making another dress. With the first dress he had, plus the drapey one, this is the third dress. Everyone goes home except Anthony, who leaves at 2:30 and then only gets an hour of sleep. I know they aren’t waking up at 3:30 so they probably made him do confessionals then.

Everyone kind of freaks out in the morning. Anthony babbles. Seth Aaron makes weird noises. Anthony has to remake the front of his dress because the interfacing is doing weird things. Jonathan’s new dress still looks as fugly as the last one. Mila is glad other designers aren’t doing well. She’s got her hair pulled back and it’s not very flattering. I’m just saying, some people look worse with their hair all back. Anthony clarifies that he got back to Atlas at 2:30 and woke up at 5, which is more than an hour. Last minute flailing and fitting. Emilio trash talks Seth Aaron. Mila says her black and gold lamé dress is sophisticated and modern. Jonathan disagrees. But he also says that his own dress is different from what he usually does, so since the judges usually hate what he does, maybe they’ll like this.

Guest judge today is Jessica Alba. Her hair is still blond, and I wish it wasn’t because I think she looks better as a brunette. Jay: short putty dress with a bubble skirt. The skirt has a lot of volume and looks like it’s made from strips of fabric that are starched and stand out from her legs. You know when you see paintings of men from the Middle Ages and they have like, giant bloomers and hose? Like that. So it’s short too. The top is plain. As his model gets closer, you can see they aren’t strips so much as they are flaps of fabric, Leanne-style. He did make her ass look big. Mila: black dress with gold diagonal stripes over one hip and down the skirt. It doesn’t fit her quite right on top. And this one is short too. I wouldn’t buy it. Anthony: black and white sleeveless long gown with a v-neck. One side is white and one is black. The skirt has enough volume to move, and the top is draped a little bit on the white side. There is a black belt and no back. Seth Aaron: black dress fitted just past her hips and then it flares out. It has double straps and then a column of rhinestones straight down from the straps down the front of the dress and down the skirt. Also there is a short train. Jonathan: putty colored dress that seems shapeless, to the point where his model looks really wide. There is a red stripe in the draping across the skirt. When she turns around it looks like the front is all draped on, and there is a swag of red and one of black on the back of the dress. I don’t get it. Emilio: bronze sequined strapless dress, long and with a stiff loop over her right boob. It’s a small loop.

Everyone has to stay! Seth Aaron was wanting to keep true to himself, but Nina says that he shouldn’t have been thinking of himself so much. Kors says this is the dress the girl who carries the statue wears. Ouch. It’s not sexy enough and they’re bored. Anthony wanted sophistication. Heidi loves it; it’s sexy without being vulgar. You can tell Anthony is shocked. They all love it and think it’s stunning and glamorous. Wow. Mila is still talking about modern lines and she wanted to think of how Heidi loves jewelry. The cups of the bodice are too far apart so it’s going to be double-sided tape time. Too simple, says Heidi. Emilio starts talking about how his fabric is like “liquid gold” even though it’s bronze. Kors calls it “impeccable” and Nina says it looks expensive. Jay describes his dress as “a 360 experience”. Kors knows no one wants to look like they have a huge ass and hips. Everyone else agrees. Jonathan talks about fun, but the dress is really short and the front looks like he threw it together last minute. The back looks much better than the front. He explains how he’s run out of fabric because this is the third dress, and Kors says you can tell.

Seth Aaron is boring. Anthony made a chic dress that moved very well. Jessica wants to borrow it. Jonathan…no one knows what he was thinking. The color was all wrong and the front was a “pillowcase”. Jay’s skirt should have been fuller, and then the ruffles would have worked. Emilio is the only one who put the right structure in his dress. Heidi says it’s the “right” kind of glitter, not crazy glitter, as she appears to be wearing black velvet studded with a grid of pearls. Mila’s dress wasn’t formal enough, and Nina says it looks like something one of the Real Housewives would wear. Heh.

Heidi says they do not have a winner--they have two winners, Emilio and Anthony. Jessica herself wants Anthony’s dress. Yay! Emilio has been winning a lot. Anthony is still shocked. Seth Aaron is in. Mila is in. Jay is in. So Jonathan is out. He knows he couldn’t compete with his last minute dress. But he’s mostly OK with it.

Next week: “This will decide who goes to Fashion Week! Even though all of you and the 54 people before you will also go because we didn’t plan this season very well!” Clicky clicky