Project Runway 7/23/08--"Grass Is Always Greener" summary

Previously on Project Runway: we met all 16 designers (so many!) and they were forced to shop at the grocery store for materials. Unlike the first season, this season pretty much everyone bought tablecloths, enough that Tim yelled at them for being boring. Kelli won, for at least using vacuum cleaner bags and coffee filters. Jerry went home, for using a shower curtain to make a lumpy raincoat. Did you know that Jerry is already famous? Anyone watch “Make Me a Supermodel”? When the contestants went to Fashion Week they walked in shows to get runway practice. The girls walked in Jerry’s show. He’s established enough that he showed at Fashion Week. And was already on a Bravo reality show, which not one person mentioned. Except Blogging Project Runway. And then to top it all off he was the first one out. Also there is a very, very high percentage of “indie rocker chicks”. They kind of all look alike. (click for more)

Suede says his roommate Jerry was “voted out”, and it somehow doesn’t surprise me that he is confusing this show with other reality shows. He’s kind of taking a “better him than me” approach. Stella reads off some nasty health drink formula or something. She’s shocked to still be there. Of course. Her dress was pretty crappy. On the way out the door we see that Blayne has taken over the boys’ chalkboard to write things like “sup holla!” and “Team Licous!” It makes me want to vomit.

Everyone gets to pick new models if they want. There is no drama. Well, Jerell tries to make drama but it’s a pretty lame attempt. It’s like he feels that he should do it, because Nick did it a couple of seasons ago, but his heart’s not really in it. Then…Heidi has all the models come back out. Huh? Emily is suspicious. Heidi tells them their next challenge is to make a cocktail dress, and the models are the clients. Does this mean we’ll see more of the models? Will they be crappy clients? I can only hope so.

Tim meets everyone in the workroom. Of course, making a cocktail dress for a skinny young model would be too easy, so they must use “green” fabrics. That means all natural fabrics, such as bamboo, hemp, jersey. I am sure Blayne and Suede know about hemp. Leanne says she already only uses green fabrics so she’s not concerned. Then Tim drops the bomb: the “Project Runway first” they have been advertising? The models have to do the shopping. HA! Ha, I say! Naturally everyone flips out. They only have $75 too. Tim drags them off immediately, so they don’t even get to tell the models how much to buy, let alone what type of fabric to get. That would be my problem; I can figure out what kind of fabric to get, and the color, but I have no idea how many yards I need for a dress.

Gratuitous shot of Elle magazine at some newsstand somewhere, with one of the Olsen twins on the cover. That would make me avoid buying Elle.

Tim gives the models 30 minutes to shop at Mood. They’ve actually got a good selection of organic fabrics. Karalyn says that a lot of people are going to end up with the same fabrics so the challenge here will be to still get a unique look. I put her name because that’s a really smart observation. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for Morgan to be here right now, buying some crazy thing and screwing over her designer. Someone is buying peacock feathers.

Jarell’s fear is having to use “remnants of nonsense”. Hee. They get 30 minutes to talk and then the rest of the day to sew. And it’s already 12:30. Kenley doesn’t like the jersey she’s gotten, because it’s not very fancy. Keith’s the one stuck with peacock feathers, and also champagne and peach. His interviews, he’s wearing a wife beater and a bandana, and glasses, but in the workroom he has different glasses, giant nerd glasses. Still cute. Jerell’s model has no nonsense remnants. Wesley hates the colors he’s stuck with. I am hating the sweater-tied-around-the-neck/polo shirt look in his confessional. He looks like a tool. The waistcoat in the workroom is cool, though. (Kmanpat: *drool*) Suede babbles something about not having fashion, or something, but he’s putting Suede into it? I don’t know nor do I care. He also declares that they’re consulting with their models not just to chat, but to find out what they like. Well, yes, genius, that’s generally what consults are for. I’d give him more crap about it but you know someone is going to totally ignore their model and get in trouble, proving that not everyone has had that particular insight. Cut to Stella ignoring her model, who wants drapey stuff, while Stella always does form fitted clothing. As we’ve seen, if she caves to her model she’ll get yelled at. I wonder if she will.

10 hours to sew. Emily hippies that the fashion industry pollutes water with their dyes so green fabrics are great. “Hippies” as a verb, I like it. Blayne is making paneling, and I think the tanning has fried his brain, because he compares Heidi to Darth Vader. (He calls her “Darth Licous” too but I’m trying to ignore that). On the outside, she’s shiny, but on the inside, she’s crazy. Does she also have the power to control the Force? Actually that would kick ass. Instead of kissing people goodbye, she could throw them off the stage without getting out of her chair. Wesley is worried about time, because the satin he has will show every mistake. Kenley asks around if people have black, and when someone says they do, she decides to just use the champagne silk she has. Did she not ask if people had champagne? Maybe she doesn’t care if it’s not silk. Korto says her model is Puerto Rican and has curves, so she is taking advantage of that. Stella refuses to make a drapey dress. She says the judges want to see what she can do, not what her model feels like wearing that day. Suede refers to himself in the third person again. We also find out he’s bisexual. People make fun of him which makes it better. “Leanne likes Suede. But Suede needs to stop talking in third person.” Yay Leanne. She’s making shapes so her dress will stand out, since two other people have the same fabric. Kenley thinks it’s too much. Wesley is pleating, and Korto is also doing pleating so she kind of is worried. She’s worried they’ll look the same, but they totally don’t. Stella sneers that you shouldn’t look at other people’s work because it just distracts you. Good advice that would be more effective if it wasn’t delivered in such a bitchy way by a person who was almost eliminated.

Tim time! Kenley has a belt; Tim is unconcerned. Korto tells him she’s worried about if the darts will work, since her dress looks inside out. He says it won’t matter because they won’t see it, and she has to tell him that he’s looking at the outside of the dress. So instead of lines of stitches along the seams there are strips of fabric, just like on the inside of your clothes. Tim has to take a few moments to absorb this, and then he goes “OH!” in this fake way so you know he thinks it’s a bad idea. He says if it’s not perfection it will be a hot mess. Suede has strips of red and cream all over the entire bodice. And a circle skirt. It’s not woven, or anything, it looks like he just threw it together. Tim says he’s excited but his face says “I smell a fart.” Wesley has pleats on the hips, and cut outs. It has to be perfect too, the satin will show everything. Leanne has a different look with the same fabric, with strips that loop around. She has a lot going on and needs to edit. Except that she doesn’t want to. Tim lets everyone know that there is no immunity; however the winner will get to sell their dress on Bluefly. Nice. Also he says that “one of Hollywood’s hot young stars” will be their guest judge, but they’ll find out tomorrow who that is.

This week’s poll: Which is crazier? Blayne’s tanorexia, Stella’s leather fetish, or Suede’s using the third person? (Kmanpat: “D. Wesley’s not being at my house right now, in his waistcoat and shorts.”)

Daniel is really hoping he can just get done. Lots of flailing. Stella complains about her fabric, and says she just wants to work with leather. All the time. Keith and Blayne roll their eyes. Dude, BLAYNE is mocking you. He’s in the sewing room saying stuff like “My kids came out of me leather” except that he’s so damn loud Stella can totally hear him. They hug and make up but I bet she gets him later.

Wesley shirtless! Sorry. It’s the next morning and Daniel isn’t done. Keith has a tank top on. Oh, like you really cared about everyone saying how important today is.

Someone breaks their zipper. Daniel’s bodice and skirt are not attached to each other. Korto is glad she‘s not the only one freaking out. Tim comes in and is very concerned and says they’re making him a wreck. Jerell…for some reason Jerell is wearing a woman’s tank top. I’m serious, it’s really low cut and men’s tank tops are not that low cut. If he was a girl he wouldn’t be able to wear a bra. Model time! Stella says her model loves her dress. Everyone gets their hair and makeup done and Daniel is still sewing. Wesley’s fit is bad, and it shows. Suede says something but I tune him out. Daniel gets done. Korto will be glad to just be safe.

Heidi appears and reminds everyone about the challenge and whatnot, and introduces the guest judge: Natalie Portman. She looks really cute. Apparently she is an activist and has a vegan shoe collection. Vegan shoes have no leather, and I believe no silk either. Show time! Keith: halter top and a bubble skirt, with a lot of draping. Gee, it looks like…his dress from last week. I even looked it up, it’s the same silhouette. I mean, it looks good, and this is real champagne fabric and not a plastic tablecloth, but still. The skirt hangs strangely, but not so poorly I think he’ll get in trouble. Terri: navy fitted dress with a dark belt. Along the neckline is a pleated ruffle that makes the dress more interesting, which it needs. Wesley: it’s a hot mess. It’s really short, and is gathered strangely, and you can definitely tell it doesn’t fit right. Jerell: so short I fear his model will have a wardrobe malfunction. There’s a halter top with a collar, which doesn’t quite fit her bust properly, in a periwinkle, and then the skirt is the same fabric with panels down the sides in a darker blue print. The hem is lined with peacock feathers and she’s got giant earrings. I thought Keith had the feathers? Jennifer: orange and gray, with a fuller skirt that comes to the knee. It’s totally something I would wear. Daniel: black baby doll dress, that’s longer in the back. It’s pretty boring but looks decent. Joe: a very simple sheath dress with a cutout in the front, right under where her bra strap would be. So…not low enough to be her bellybutton but not high enough to be a keyhole. Without it his dress would be pretty boring, though. Suede: the top looks like he took a red bodice and taped strips over it and then the skirt is short with netting underneath. Not only does it look half assed but it doesn’t look like the bodice fits at all. Kenley: sheath dress with a poofy collar. The collar stands up so it’s not floppy. Kelli: there’s a blue bodice with cream sleeves. Not sleeves, exactly, it’s like she has a cropped vest on, with pleats. And a cream skirt. Upon further inspection the bodice is asymmetrical, so one boob is blue and the other is cream. Eh. Oh, but the back has one tie at the neck and the other in the middle of her back, with gold bric-a-brac dangling down past her ass. Leanne: the loops in her bodice turned out well, since they lie flat and look like pleats. However she also put loops on her model’s ass so that’s not good. Also I think her model has a loop on her head. Stella: it’s a plain dress with a very short skirt, except that it’s got an asymmetrical neckline, with one long sleeve and the other arm bare. It’s pretty 80’s, is what it reminds me of. And there are ties up the sides. Blayne: one shoulder, in pink, with big loops that go from that shoulder over the opposite arm, and a panel on one side of black. It actually doesn’t suck. Emily: black and white, with braded trim and belt. Blah. Korto: very fitted, with her inside out look so the seams show, but she left these wings along her hips that I’m sure she’s going to get in trouble for.

Heidi calls Keith, Terri, Jerell, Jennifer, Daniel, Joe, Kelli, Blayne, and Emily, and tells them they’re safe. God there are a lot of people on this damn season. Kenley gets to start, so she talks about the silk, and how it’s clean and simple. Her model loves it. Nina loves the simplicity and the high collar. Kenley jokes that it’s couture since she sewed the collar by hand. Natalie thinks it’s adult, and Kors loves the belt. Wesley is next, and as he’s talking about how he was limited in the fabric he had, they pan up his dress so you can see how horrid it looks. You can see every wrinkle, and he’s got diagonal pieces along her hips. Natalie likes the bow tie but it sucks otherwise. The bottom hem is wavy and it’s overworked. Kors calls it “crazy short”, and Nina says that “shiny, tight, and short” equals cheap. Stella wanted to make it hers, and since she ignored her model they love it. Even though her dress is certainly shiny, tight, and short. Korto: she loved the fabric, and she wanted to accentuate the curves. They like the top, but Natalie doesn’t like the inside out look. The pieces on the side looks like wings, and Kors says he loves a curvy girl (unlikely) but “even curvy girls, they don’t want fins on their butts.” Heh. Suede explains his strips and whatever. Natalie loves it and wants it. Oh God, they like it. Kors does point out that he’s got the same champagne fabric as everyone and it doesn’t look like it. That is true. But I think it looks ridiculous. Leanne’s dress has pockets I didn’t notice before. The model says the dress is not what she pictured. Uh oh. There is too much going on and it’s all over the place.

Likes: Stella (fits well, shows Stella’s designer viewpoint), Suede (right dress on the right girl, not overworked), Kenley (the only one to use the fabric right, elegant, has personality). Hates: Wesley (overworked, too tight), Korto (fins, she used the fabric wrong), Leanne (all over the place, she also used the fabric wrong, bad judgment). Backstage Leanne is pretty distraught already.

Stella is in. The winner is Suede. Barf. How are they going to mass produce that dress? It’s going to look cheap and crappy. Kenley is in. Korto is in. She’s in tears because she worked so hard. Wesley’s design was unflattering and the fit was poor. Leanne had too many ideas and presented a school project. Leanne is in. No! Not Wesley! Man. He’s glad to just have made it on the show. He’s going to keep designing.

Next week: field trip, which involves ponchos. They seem to be wandering the streets. With digital cameras. No one listens to Tim. The ponchos seem to be because it’s raining and they have to take to the streets for inspiration. Are we just going to repeat challenges from previous seasons? (Kmanpat: “I have to go now and imagine I’m comforting Wesley after his elimination.”)