Previously on “Top Chef”: For some reason we had to go to Canada, a place with their very own “Top Chef” spinoff, instead of going somewhere in the US that they haven't been before. And now we're back in the Carolinas, which is boring and I would like to go somewhere new. I thought briefly they'd accepted the Midwest with Wisconsin but I guess not. Anyway, last season's winner was Tristen, and I had to look that up because I'd forgotten. (click for more)
I know it's been a very long time. I thought about doing recaps of something random, but I was burnt out and I just could not bring myself to do it. So it waited, and then the show took a while to return, and then “Project Runway” I think is casting the next season but I haven't heard anything about when it will air, and “Amazing Race” is not coming back until the fall so they can be obsessed with “Survivor” and Padma's new Top Chef knockoff. It's fine, it just feels forced and gimmicky.
Also this episode was released on the internet nearly a week early. Why? Who knows. I did watch it, but just in case people couldn't watch it ahead of time I waited to do the recap. Also I was not super motivated. But this way it won't go up until after the premiere on Bravo so no spoilers.
Anyway! Back to Carolina! Yes I know Charleston is in South Carolina and Charlotte is North Carolina but whatever. We start with some generic action shots and random sound bites. See even Kristen says “the Carolinas”. Also identical twins because FML. No water sponsors, it's olive oil now, and we're still giving out a dinner at the James Beard house.
Everyone is at the NASCAR track where we have three branded cars, one each with Kristen, Tom, and Gail. Kristen hops out of the window, because these cars usually have the doors welded shut and you get in and out from the window. She calls everyone over, and sadly we do not see Tom and Gail get out of the cars. You know Gail would demand someone help her and it would be funny. Probably Tom couldn't do it himself and refused to air it so he wouldn't look dumb. He's lost a bunch of weight and now looks slightly older, as many former fat people do. Day interviews that she can't believe she's here. We talk about how great North Carolina is, I guess, and then Kristen says she challenged herself to learn everyone's name before the season started. Tom straight up says he's going to wait until some of them are gone. Brittany is the local chef but she used to live in New York. The twins have also arrived in the same shirt, only one is wearing it buttoned up and one open. Two identical bald men in the same shirt. Goddammit. Kristen asks who is better, and one raises his hand while the other one says “we'll see” so Kristen says they all know who is the humblest. Heh. So they have a dual confessional and they label them so you can see Jonathan is slightly bigger, with a slightly rounder face. They also have different tattoos, so that might help.
Kristen asks if anyone else knows each other and Justin is like, yeah my boss followed me here. Jennifer is all, wow, and then someone asks if they're a couple. This is weird, because up to that point there was nothing to indicate they weren't really boss/employee. But they have been together for 16 years, worked together for 10. Justin does not hesitate to say she's a better cook than he is. Kristen talks about the prize a little bit. You can't win immunity for Quickfires, only money. You can win immunity for Elimination Challenges.
The first Quickfire is to be judged by two drivers. Duyen casually says hi to one of them, because she actually works for a motor club, doing food for a racetrack? The VIPs for certain races? It sounds like meals you get at the luxury box at the ballpark. Anyway, so she knows people. No favorites. Kristen says that NASCAR grew out of bootlegging. You need a fast car to outrun the cops. See, “Dukes of Hazzard” was kind of relevant. Everyone has to get into teams of three. They sort of group up with whoever is nearby, and the twins and the couple do not team up with each other. Make one dish, whatever you want, in the shitty outdoor kitchens they set up literally in the center of the racetrack. However there is no clock today. The two drivers are going to do 23 laps (for Season 23, ha ha) and you get however long that takes. Google says at best it's maybe a minute per lap. You cannot start plating until the final lap. $15,000 for the winning team. Oh and you get to ride in the cars for a lap.
So they let everyone run off to the kitchens, and one car starts driving, but the two guest judges are still standing there. Oh, it's just someone else driving, but still a “professional racecar driver”. As they run, Justin stumbles and then falls. He does a pretty good roll and pops right back up. In confessional he says “Everybody saw the tumble, huh? Shit.” Hee. Lots of planning of raw dishes and easy stuff. As we watch the cooking, we get teams so I will come back up here and list them. Red Team: Anthony, Brandon, Sieger. Brandon is one of the twins, the thinner one. Blue Team: Jennifer, Jonathan, Laurence. Jonathan is the other twin, and he has a more prominent forearm tattoo. Yellow Team: Day, Duyen, Nana. This team is all women of color which is cool. Green Team: Brittany, Jassi, Justin. Jassi is the Punjabi in the turban. Purple Team: Oscar, Rhoda, Sherry.
Brandon wants to do something raw. Anthony reveals that Brandon has a YouTube and Brandon seems confident. Sieger suggests fried kale for crunch. I read on the internet somewhere that “crispy” is in the front teeth and “crunchy” is in the back teeth and that makes a ton of sense. However I feel like that places fried kale as “crispy”. Jennifer is making a hushpuppy. It is very hot. They have stainless steel prep tables and it is 91 degrees (33 degrees Celsius). Day says her team is making brown butter harissa shrimp which sounds delicious. The logic is that it's so hot they might have trouble keeping a cold dish cold. That makes sense. Duyen is pickling cabbage because butter sauce sounds heavy. Jassi is making a moilee sauce, which is a type of curry. No one seems to be timing laps. Blue Team decides to put the seafood inside the hushpuppy for some reason. It sounds like Jennifer is not sold 100%, but Laurence and Jonathan kind of agree with each other it sounds like a good idea so now they're doing it. Jonathan tries to yell down the line at his brother, who is busy and doesn't have time for this dumbass attention whore nonsense. The hushpuppies are not working because there is too much shrimp. They start over, which is stressful because that's the one thing they have to serve. If they don't work, they won't have anything to serve. People are worried about overcooking their fish. After what I assume will be a commercial break, the hushpuppies are fine. Jonathan makes a racing pun and he is quickly becoming the annoying twin. Various people are bossy, but no one seems to be butting heads at the moment. The final lap starts and everyone frantically starts plating. As they finish, and Kristen says to put your hands up, she's like “You gotta put your hands up!” because Red Team is futzing. Anthony reveals not all the fried kale made it to the plates.
Red Team: cured snapper with tomato vinaigrette, avocado, radish, and cucumber. Kristen immediately asks why all the plates look different, and then says “I love a warm crudo”, and then Tom holds up his fish with like, a hack job and asks if they meant to leave it that thick. Oof. Green Team: pan-seared red snapper with corn and cauliflower salad and moilee sauce. After they leave, Tom tells Kristen and Gail his fish is raw. It's not going well. Yellow Team: harissa butter poached shrimp with charred cabbage and pickled green tomato. Purple team: shrimp ceviche and avocado aguachile with crab salad. It is actually cold, and I think they had a bowl with ice water underneath one of the prep tables. Blue Team: crab and shrimp hushpuppy with harissa aioli, napa and peach salad.
There are too many racing puns right now. Red Team didn't have complete plates and Tom is still salty about having a huge chunk of fish. Green Team made a sort of OK dish and then Tom's fish was raw. Purple Team kept their fish cold and the ceviche was good. Yellow Team had delicious butter and the pickled tomato was great. Blue Team did get their hushpuppies to work out and the peach salad was a nice addition. The winning team is the Blue Team. They get to ride around, although Jonathan says something about his testosterone so maybe both twins are annoying. Laurence says it's faster than his Mini Cooper. Heh.
Elimination Challenge. So apparently North Carolina's state vegetable is sweet potatoes. You will get assigned a variety of sweet potato via knife block. Just like regular potatoes, some are better for frying and some for baking, etc. It depends on how moist they are and if they hold together when cooked and a bunch of factors like that. Covington, Norton, Purple Majesty, Murasaki, and Carolina Ruby. You will only have one hour. They're cooking and serving at Jamie Lynch's restaurant. You may remember Jamie from the Charleston season where he had immunity in a team challenge and offered to give it up if he had the weakest dish, and then was promptly eliminated. He was on All-Stars too but went out in like the third episode. Sean Brock and Jamie are the guest judges. It's not a team challenge but a head-to-head(-to-head) challenge. You serve with the other people that have your variety, and one from the group will be up for the win, and another one will be up for elimination. Winner of the whole thing will get immunity, which is very important. We still have Last Chance Kitchen, but the first two chefs eliminated will not be competing. So you have to make it to episode three before you can go to LCK and maybe get back in. Oof. Everyone quietly freaks out, knowing if they're eliminated today that's the end.
In the cars on the way to Whole Foods, everyone chats and gets to know each other. We discover Anthony works for Marcus Samuelsson, which is cool. He says Marcus would tell him to be more show-offy, which tracks. Then he tells Brittany that not only did they go to the same school, they were the same year and he lived on her floor. She did not remember him at all, which is pretty awkward. The twins are in another car grilling Jennifer about if she and Justin have a joint bank account (yes) and are they married (no) and why not? She tells them if he proposed she'd say yes. Immediately cut to the dual confessional where Justin is saying “She won't let me put a ring on it” and Jennifer turning back to the camera. Her expression is not obviously pissed but I choose to believe she's doing a “Jim from The Office” blank stare that means “I am pissed but I'm not having this fight on camera”.
They have $250 for shopping. Duyen is going to make mochi dumplings but with sweet potato filling instead of mung bean. That sounds amazing. There is some joking around and chaos. Brandon says his dish is a secret but it's just sweet potato casserole with meringue. Nana is making collards and some West African flavors. Jonathan buys a big spear (leaf?) of aloe.
They're staying in what looks like apartments but it said “by Westin” on the outside so maybe it's an extended stay place. Everyone toasts and then hangs out and chats. Anthony asks how Sherry (I think) figured out they were both auditioning for Top Chef, and she says when she was at his restaurant, every time she had to take a call from Bravo, he would also have a call. It sounds like they don't necessarily work at the same restaurant, but they do both work for Marcus, and if someone is opening a new place, Marcus will send a bunch of people over to help out. So they were working together. Oscar jokes that his luggage is 80 pounds and 50 of them are face masks. Day asks Justin what happens if Jennifer wins and he immediately says “I fucking hope she wins”.
I think they are doing staggered starting times, so they can serve as things are ready. The Carolina Ruby group is up first. Day hasn't worked with this potato before. They're all nervous, knowing they don't have the safety net of LCK. Jonathan thinks he can make a savory dish that is like his grandmother's sweet potato pie. So the twins are doing the same thing, maybe. Day is adding herbes de Provence, because she doesn't have time to use fresh herbs. Lots of herbes. Second group arrives. Nana has never used this variety before. Laurence says he is going to make Turkish food, since that's the cuisine he cooked professionally at first. He's making meat wrapped in collard greens, and Nana jokes with him that he's copying her.
Third group. Brandon says he's got pastry experience, because one time while he was working at Alinea the chocolate guy didn't show up and he said “I can do it” and everyone gasped and then he worked two stations. And everyone clapped, I guess. Fourth group. Jassi tells his group he has all the sweet potatoes so if you need any, take from him. I'm not sure why he has all of them, but sure. Lots of frantic running around and it's very cramped. There's a shot of the floor and it looks like someone spilled all of their sauce everywhere and didn't even pretend to try to clean it. In addition to like, four or five chunks of potato sitting there. Nana is still peeling sweet potatoes, and there is a shot of a timer that would imply she's been peeling for 25 of her 60 minutes.
Last group arrives. Duyen says she's worked in France and at somewhere that used a lot of vegetables in desserts. Jonathan uses the vacuum sealer. I guess to sous vide? Nana is going to make jus with ham stock in 30 minutes. She really wants to use her flavors but she's running out of time. Day loses 5 minutes because she thinks the oven is on when it is not. She declares she is not going home today. After taking her fish out of the oven (?) she announces she is going to put it under the heat lamp to make sure it's cooked. Why not just leave it in the oven? Who knows. Rhoda is making soy-lime glaze which sounds amazing. She's doing some street food stuff from the Philippines.
The judges arrive, and Kristen reveals they will be voting on the spot for the tops and bottoms. Very stressful. Jonathan says his biggest fear is going home before his brother. That tracks. The first group gets their plates done. This is the Carolina Ruby group. Jonathan asks the judges if they get nervous when the contestants stare at them, and Kristen says yes, it's weird to be stared at “like a zoo animal”. Sherry: Carolina Ruby moqueca with green papaya chow chow. Moqueca is a Brazilian seafood stew. She replaced all the proteins with the sweet potato. Jonathan: grilled pork loin, Carolina Ruby bacon jam, sweet potato puree, and pickled okra. There are zero comments about Tom's hatred of okra. Day: roasted Carolina Ruby with herbes de Provence, sos kreyol, and roasted snapper. Sos kreyol is Haitian Creole sauce. The snapper is undercooked all around. Time for voting! Jonathan is the best, and Day is the bottom. Sherry did also have a good dish. Day's sweet potatoes were also undercooked and the herbes were too strong.
When they all get back to the kitchen, Jonathan cuts open the aloe he bought at Whole Foods to rub on his face. The next group has five minutes, and Laurence is like “five...minutes! Sorry, it sounded like--” and then Nana is yelling at him to shut up. I have no idea what it sounded like? Five seconds? Like a countdown? Someone says Nana is going to kill him and everyone agrees. Brandon is making ice cream. Nana is really in the weeds and she is not handling it well. Anthony and Laurence step in to help plate, but when the timer goes off she screams “NO!”, throws her utensil on the ground, and stomps off somewhere. I mean...she's not the first person to screw up time management, but I can't even tell what is wrong with the plates, because she's immediately hyperventilating and pacing. Someone asks if they're OK, like I think the rest of the kitchen believes someone cut themselves or something.
As the judges are served, everyone's plates have collard greens just slapped on there, draping over the sides of the plates. They can tell someone was stressed. Nana is starting to cry and the other two are telling her to take a minute. This is out in the dining room, so all the judges can see this happening. Kristen says she needs a minute, and then she gets up and goes over to Nana. Kristen gets her to sit down, promises her “I get it” and it's OK, then gets Nana to explain why she's upset. Nana says the plates aren't finished, and Kristen is like “OK so they're not finished! Whatever happens here, no matter what, you are still a phenomenal chef. We all have bad days and it's okay.” Nana is getting herself together. That was so compassionate. I hate to be like “Padma could never” but I don't know if she would? Because Kristen was a contestant, she's more of a mentor than Padma was. Laurence gives Nana a hug when she is ready to join everyone.
This is the Murasaki group. Anthony: seared scallop with Murasaki accra, Murasaki fondant, and jus. Accra are Haitian fritters, and fondant potatoes are seared and roasted potatoes. Nana: Murasaki mpotompoto with collard greens and smoked ham. Mpoto mpoto is yam pottage, so sweet potatoes cooked down into a porridge. Why did the chyron make it one word? Who knows. Laurence: Murasaki and pork stuffed collard green sarma with tomato and yogurt. Sarma is like dolma, stuffed leaves. As Kristen is collecting votes, she makes a weird face at Tom. Anthony is the winner, and then Tom is like “I actually voted for Nana” which is extremely weird. Usually Tom is the crankiest about not getting a complete plate. He says it had the most sweet potato flavor. Everyone else put Nana in the bottom. I wonder if he saw how that was going down and threw her a vote so it would soften the blow. The judges tell Laurence his tomato overpowered the sweet potato.
Gail reveals that the Purple Majesty variety is only about five years old. Oscar: braised Purple Majesty with agave chorizo hash and pasilla salsa. Pasilla is a type of pepper. He says he made it like they do in Mexico City, like the little thing, like whoop whoop! The steam thing on the side? I have no idea what he's talking about but it's funny. I guess a street food thing. He calls it “crazy, brazy”. Justin: curry and cardamom poached Purple Majesty, brown butter sweet potato puree, and cheese sauce. Brandon: Purple Majesty with caramel, coconut, and white chocolate sorbet, sweet potato streusel, and meringue. It's a charred black lump, with some sauce and various crumbles, and the meringue as a white squiggly line. The caramel is made with the skins. Brandon takes it, and that was pretty impressive. The bottom is Justin. It was not bad but a little undercooked.
Justin and Oscar joke that Brandon was too good and pissed them off. Jennifer is planning to cook until she's out of time. Brittany's pork is underdone so she starts freaking out, but she doesn't have time so she just serves it. Covington time. Jassi: rice and lentil khichdi with roasted Covingtons and yogurt pickles. Khichdi is exactly as described, rice and lentils cooked until soft. Brittany: seared pork tenderloin, Covington puree, pickled sweet potato, crispy sweet potato. She claims she wanted medium rare pork. Rhoda: soy-glazed Covington with miso sweet potato puree and lime crème fraiche. Winner is Rhoda, which everyone loved. Brittany had the least favorite, because it was a pork dish and not a sweet potato dish. Jassi maybe didn't have enough sweet potato but they loved the flavors.
Last group. Duyen: Norton sweet potato and pandan mochi with ginger syrup and coconut cream. Sieger: seared Norton, roasted onion jus and sweet potato puree. Jennifer: condensed milk poached sweet potato with squash puree and pickled Nortons. The winner of this round is Duyen, refreshing and a great texture. Jennifer didn't get things cooked enough, but the flavors were good. Tom liked it anyway.
Tom liked Brandon's dish for being whimsical, and the sweet potato skin caramel was very creative. Rhoda's dish was nothing but sweet potato and it was intentional. Both Jennifer and Justin were in the bottom, but mostly because they had strong competition. Brittany wasn't necessarily bad, but it was boring. So it's between Nana and Day. Day undercooked both her fish and sweet potatoes, and the herbes were too strong. Opinions on Nana's dish vary based on what plate you got. Kristen still had a ring mold and it sounds like she didn't have any collards at all. Some were underseasoned and some were fine.
Judges' Table. Everyone is here, and I feel like the middle people should be allowed to sit down. Kristen mixes up the twins, and they all laugh because they did stand next to each other. All the tops were bold and took big swings. The winner is Rhoda. She seems shocked. Layers of sweet potato, and they loved her intentional story behind it. Rhoda gets bold and tells Tom she remembers how yesterday he said he doesn't learn everyone's names right away and she was determined he'd learn her name. Heh. So Rhoda has immunity. She says in confessional she's living the motherfucking dream, and then Jamie is like “hey some advice: don't give up your immunity”. Ha!
Time for the bottoms. They know this was a tough challenge. Nana was proud of how her dish tasted, even though she knows she ran out of time. Day explains why she put so many herbes de Provence, because she didn't have time to build flavors. She says she overthought. Tom thinks she lost focus. He reminds everyone they don't get to go to LCK, and then Day is sent home. She's upset, but she also thinks that she got to compete on “the world's greatest chef competition” and had a great opportunity. Aww.
This season: some white water rafting, Southern food, children. Liza Koshy gets Tom to drink out of a shoe. Brittany (I think, she and Jennifer and Sherry look very similar) with her arm in a sling being asked by Kristen if she wants to quit. Judging outside where there's a snake. Kristen nopes out of there.
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