Top Chef 4/24/25--"You Wanna Pizza Me?" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: A dumb Quickfire which at least confined the product placement to the Quickfire so we didn't have to deal with Chipotle in the main challenge. Tristen didn't make Mexican but a rice bowl thing so he won. The Elimination challenge was to make a progressive tasting menu revolving around pickles, and also in teams. Massimo won because he's extra of course. Shuai accidentally threw away a bunch of Henry's garnishes and pickles, so Henry had to scramble. He and Shuai both ended up in the bottom, and there was some discourse online that Shuai should have quit, but they ended up eliminating Katianna instead for weird cucumber seed pudding. But it did seem for a minute like they'd get rid of Henry for not enough pickle flavor. (click for more)

In Last Chance Kitchen, Katianna and Kat had to make dishes with three different pickles each. Sadly Kat overcooked some shrimp and then included them in the dish for some reason, so Katianna survived.

Right after the elimination, everyone stands in a circle in the Stew Room and talks about how they thought Katianna might win the whole thing. Henry thought for sure he was going to be eliminated, and Bailey says something vaguely insufferable about how he's used to that but guess what you're still here bud! Henry interviews that he had a wall up, and it meant he wasn't giving anything out either. Now he's ready to do the challenges in a different light. Vinny was embarrassed, because he used to work with/for Danny Garcia, and Danny straight up said “this is a dish Vinny and I used to make except he didn't do it right”. Tristen asks if he can “do a brutal honest with you” which is an interesting phrasing. He says what we've all been yelling at the TV for weeks, which is stop talking about “the Nomad” every half hour and make your own food. Vinny keeps saying this is him, but it's not, it's a place he worked. Finally someone said it. Cut immediately to Vinny in confessional talking about his boss at the Nomad. So he recently passed away and Vinny is now in his head about it. Well maybe finally he'll shut up about it.

In the morning, the shots of people in the cars speculating about w hat they're going to have to do today are interspersed with “dramatic” shots of dirty pans. Lana hopes for “some open fire shit”. Kristen has the host of Top Chef: Canada. Massimo knows who she is and then primps and asks the producers if his hair is good. The Quickfire is about [product placement] dishwasher detergent and “the ten toughest stains in America” which simply cannot be true. You need to specify you're talking about food stains on dishes and pots. You know there are other substances on things like fabric that are way tougher. Anyway, there are a bunch of dirty pans and plates and I see a mug, up on the table. You have to use the stains as inspiration for dishes, and no one is going to tell you what exactly is on there. OK I predict someone licks the dish to figure out what they have which is disgusting. You know someone will. Kristen does tell them not to lick it but I don't have much faith in these people.

Sadly Kristen does let each of them say what they think they have, and then she confirms it. There was one dish left over, so I wonder what was on there. Sometimes I wonder if there was a truly terrible one that they all escaped having to deal with, just by luck. Massimo has tomato sauce, Lana has “burnt-on greasy meat sauce”, Cesar has coffee (he took the mug, so obviously), Bailey has guacamole. She took a bowl with green stuff, thinking it would be pesto, but she didn't even have to guess. I wish they had let her make pesto and then told her she was wrong and can't win. Shuai has mac 'n cheese, Henry has oatmeal, Vinny has egg yolks? Just the yolks? Tristen has yellow rice and Paula has lasagna. So some people have like, tomato sauce, or meat sauce, and then some people have complete dishes. Or egg yolks? This seems uneven. Also Tristen should have like, turmeric. Paula can't make lasagna in a Quickfire.

Everyone runs to put the dishes in the dishwasher, I assume so later they can reveal clean dishes and everyone can oo and ah about how good the [product placement] dishwasher detergent is. Kristen reveals the last pan was brownies, so they all avoided having to make dessert.

30 minutes, and the winner gets $10,000. You do have to make the food? Or at least use it. Paula is slicing butternut squash and making vegan cheese, because otherwise she'll never get done. Bailey is making refined guacamole? No, maybe just using the ingredients. Massimo is super thrilled to make pasta. Cesar is doing something weird with coffee oil and smoked salmon and cappuccino. Lana says she doesn't get it but he just made a pickle tart with pickle ice cream and Tom said it was one of the best things he's ever eaten, so maybe he knows what he's doing. I always like when people admit they have no fucking idea what their competitor is doing but it must be good. As opposed to people who have no fucking idea what their competitor is doing and then declare “that can't possibly be good”. Tristen says he both cooks and does the dishes, and Vinny offers to marry him. He's making jollof rice in the pressure cooker. Shuai mixes rice flour and water to make rice cakes, for rice cakes and cheese. Hmm. Henry is making rice balls? Oat balls? I'm not sure but it sounds good. Lana wants the money to travel and visit her boyfriend in Sicily. Paula's squash is not good but she can't make more, there's no time. Henry interviews he didn't make Chinese food for a long time because he thought it was “cheap”, but now he's making stuff he grew up with. Paula doesn't have layers but maybe it'll taste right.

Massimo: gnocchi alla Sorrentina. This is ricotta gnocchi baked in a tomato sauce with mozzarella on top. Paula: butternut squash lasagna with cashew ricotta and mushroom tomato sauce. It sounds good but it kind of looks like a pile of things. Bailey: trumpet mushroom, celery, and avocado salad, with agave cumin vinaigrette and rye crackers. Shuai: cheese rice cakes with bechamel. Henry: glutinous rice balls filled with maple butter, toasted oats, and oatmeal broth. Vinny: eggs Benedict with carbonara hollandaise, arugula, and egg yolk vinaigrette. Tristen: golden jollof rice with clams, peas, and charred shishito. Lana: meat sauce eggs in purgatory with Italian sausage and grilled garlic bread. Eggs in purgatory is like shakshuka, you make tomato sauce and then poach eggs in it. Cesar: salmon cappuccino with cured salmon, coffee pickled celery root, coffee mustard, and coffee crumble.

Paula made good ricotta but it wasn't a lasagna. She knew that though. Also Bailey made a dish about avocados and not guacamole. Sadly Cesar is the other bottom contestant. It just didn't work. I do always want his crazy shit to work. Massimo was on the top, the dish was really impressive for 30 minutes. Henry made something that was unique and nostalgic at the same time. I agree, I would eat that for breakfast. Tristen got his rice cooked perfectly, and he kept the yellow. The winner is Henry! He's relieved and feeling good.

Elimination Challenge. Kristen asks who's ready to party? Hesitant hand raising. Tomorrow it's Top Chef's first pizza party! Bailey says something about how she doesn't make pizza, but I feel like it's just so she can prove she knows the word “pizzaiolo”. Oh Wylie and Spike (from Top Chef Chicago) are here. I always like to see Wylie Dufresne because it makes everyone freak out. Spike apparently owns a pizza place and has ditched the asshat. Kristen claims pizza in Canada is because of Hawaiian pizza, which was invented in Canada. Some of these people didn't know that, but I knew that ages ago. Anyway, it was a Greek man inspired by Chinese food, like putting pineapple in sweet and sour pork. “Hawaiian” was the brand name of the pineapple. Kristen also says the sushi pizza was invented here. That's where you have a rice base and then put sashimi on top? Why is Canada doing weird shit to pizza? Anyway, you must “create a pizza that pushes the limits”. They should spark debate but also be good. $250 at Whole Foods, 1 hour to prep today, 90 minutes tomorrow to finish cooking. They will have both indoor and outdoor pizza ovens. The party is 70 people plus judges. Winner will get immunity, and this is the last immunity of the season. That's huge, because next episode should be Restaurant Wars. After today's prep, everyone will “get” to take a cruise to Niagara Falls. No, that does sound like fun.

Vinny says “We gotta cook for Wylie? Fuck me”. Heh. In the cars Vinny says he's making a Reuben pizza that his brother's made for him. I've done something like that. We had leftover corned beef and I put that, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese, some cabbage, and then finished it with horseradish sauce. It was very good (I also may have been not sober). When they get to Whole Foods everyone runs to the flour. Paula demonstrates how to tell if your pineapple is ripe. Tristen says it's supposed to be controversial, so, anchovy ranch. Cesar wants to make mole pizza and work chocolate into the dough. Henry is making pho pizza with noodle dough maybe. And all the toppings. But he runs out of money. They show him making sure he bought flour, which I only note in case this is foreshadowing and he can't find it later.

60 minutes to cook today. Everyone is immediately making dough. Massimo is not thinking about immunity, he is staying focused. Shuai is making scallion pancake pizza. As I suspected, because I have been watching reality TV for way too long, Henry did buy flour, but only one bag. He thinks he left the other bag in the cart when he was trying to get under budget. Some editor watches “Amazing Race” because they cut to a clip of Henry's cart as he's trying to figure out what to do, and they zero in on the bag of flour there. Lana offers him whatever she has on the table, like the stuff she put so the dough wouldn't stick. Cesar puts cocoa powder in the dough. Tristen is going to make lahmacun, which is Middle Eastern flatbread with meat and herbs. One of our local Balkan restaurants makes it and then rolls it like a wrap sandwich and it's excellent. He puts beer in his dough to speed up fermentation. Paula is making fugazzeta, which the chyron says is an Argentinian cheese-stuffed pizza with onions. She puts both milk and sugar into her dough to help with the yeast, but then she says she's never done it “as a pizza style” so I'm not sure what she is talking about. Maybe because it's like, stuffed pizza and she's not going to stuff it?

Time for this field trip to Niagara Falls. It is very impressive and pretty. Everyone gets shitty cheap ponchos which are useless. Massimo looks freezing and miserable but in confessional he's saying it's majestic and the best time. Yeah not a pleasant time.

In the morning Cesar calls his mom and it's very cute. He says his parents had him when they were young, and have worked very hard, so he feels he has to also work hard so it's not for nothing.

Everyone drives out to a vineyard, and when they turn onto the property it looks like they're just in a residential neighborhood with regular houses across the street. 90 minutes to cook today, inside and not out in one of those shitty outdoor kitchens. There is a big pizza oven in the kitchen. Henry says he's not going to have enough dough, plus it didn't rise. Maybe he doesn't have enough dough because it didn't rise? Anyway, now he has to pivot, so he has short grain rice that he brought from home. Now he's making sushi pizza. He didn't think he'd use it that way but he doesn't have a lot of options. He will need to sear the rice on the bottom so there's a crust. Lana put her oxtail in the pizza oven and it looks great. She's making tamarind barbecue sauce, and honey nut squash puree. Tristen says his anchovy ranch is delicious. Shuai makes charred pineapple relish and lamb. He also cuts a million things for “tiger salad”.

Massimo interviews that he got into cooking “accidentally” by working in a pizzeria one summer. Bailey says “chicky chicky parm” because she has to be quirky. Tristen tests the oven inside, which has a rotating base so everything moves around the flame in the back. He doesn't want to run back and forth to the outside ovens, which seem to be the kind rich people buy for the backyard and are just big enough for one pizza at a time. Cesar's first tester sticks to the peel, so maybe the cocoa powder wasn't a great idea. But he thinks he can make it work by flouring the peel. They're gonna complain it's too floury. Paula has pineapple-braised pork and she says it has a more complex flavor, so she made a Mornay sauce instead of tomato sauce. Lana says “Okie dokie artichokie!...I've turned into my father.” Heh. Massimo says you toss pizza dough instead of rolling it out to keep the bubbles in the crust. There seems to be a fairly even split between who is rolling out dough and who is tossing. Vinny says he makes a lot of pizza at home. He is going to par-cook most of the pizzas and then finish them at the end.

Guests are arriving, because of course they are all here at once for service related drama. Bailey says she is using cornmeal to keep her pizzas from sticking to the peel and the oven, which I only include because I'm pretty sure that's what you're supposed to use and not flour. Food is starting to come out, as the judges arrive. Who made Gail wear a long leather skirt to sit outside. Henry is searing rice rounds on cast iron. Shuai is frying pancakes on the flattop, and then putting cheese on it. He goes to put the pan in the non-pizza oven but it won't fit. It's one of those narrow commercial ovens, not like a regular home oven under your burners. Now he's taking the pizzas off the pan and putting them straight on the rack, which I feel is risky. A timer goes off but it's not clear how the service is working. There's no way they have all the pizzas done for 70+ people. Did they just need to have a certain number done? The judges' portions done? Who knows.

I forgot that not only are the anchovies controversial, but the ranch itself is controversial, because Midwesterners love ranch and people on the coasts look down on them for it. Tom claims he's never seen ranch offered, which feels like either a lie or it means he's only ever had bougie pizza. These people would spontaneously combust if they were ever served St. Louis style pizza. Shuai: scallion pancake pizza with cumin Szechuan lamb, mozzarella, and tiger salad. Tiger salad is celery and cilantro, mostly. Tristen: lahmacun pizza with lamb, anchovy ranch, and pickled grapes. Lana: honeynut squash sauce pizza with tamarind BBQ oxtails, buttermilk dressing, and plantain chips. Lana's pizza is burnt but only on one side. And that's the one they saved for glamour shots. Shuai made a great pancake, with layers, and it's very good. The seasoning is reserved but you can taste it. Lana has pretty good crust but the squash puree is dry and too sweet. Tristen made technically a flatbread but the flavor is good and his ranch was actually necessary. Not that the pizza was bad without it, just that it doesn't seem like he threw it in and it doesn't go.

The judges have an argument about deep dish pizza, which someone says is lasagna. Tom says it's to pizza what a hot dog is to a sandwich. Don't go there Tom. Anyway, a hot dog is not a sandwich but a taco do not @ me about this. When Henry's pizza comes out, there's a clip of someone saying “oh, someone did it”. That's what it's about, not about pineapple. Henry: pho rice pizza with pho marinated brisket, herb pesto, and hoisin sriracha aioli. Cesar: mole negro pizza with chicken thighs, black bean salsa, and crispy chicken skin. Bailey: chicken Parmesan pizza with tigelle bread, chicken thigh sausage, provolone, Parmesan, and pecorino. Tigelle bread looks like English muffins? Also her pizza is burnt on one side. I think the people at the outdoor ovens are not rotating their pizzas enough so they're not evenly cooked. Bailey's pizza has a lot of bread, but she did say “chicken parm” so maybe it isn't so bad. It's a little undercooked, and there is disagreement about if there is too much cornmeal. Some people don't mind and some people don't like it at all. Henry's pizza has good flavor but the rice is not crispy enough. The secret requirement of “pizza” is “you must be able to pick it up and eat it with your hands”. That's fair. Kristen and Tom think he didn't have enough pho flavor. Cocoa powder burns easily, and Cesar's dough is either burnt or too floppy. I feel like they had both complaints. Whatever, it was bad.

Paula says her dough is too soft, but it's supposed to be, and she hopes her pizzas are cooked. Maybe you usually don't put toppings on that kind of pizza? I'm still not sure what she did differently from traditional fugazzeta. Massimo: Napoletana style pizza with fermented parsley paste, potatoes, mussels, and clams. Paula: pineapple-braised pork pizza with caramelized onions, chimichurri, and Mornay sauce. OK so I think traditionally it should have cheese inside the crust, like you make two rounds of dough and put a whole layer of cheese inside, and then only onions on top. Not chimichurri and Mornay sauce and pork too on top. Vinny: Reuben pizza with pickle, sauerkraut, Thousand Island whipped ricotta, and Gruyere cheese. Paula's dough is too soft, Tom thinks because she added milk to the dough. Wylie says you're supposed to have milk in it, but it shouldn't be this soft. It feels like brioche. The pork is good but there's too much other stuff on there. Massimo's crust is great, and since he had cheese and seafood it does meet the challenge of “controversial pizza”. I feel like everyone immediately forgot about that part of the challenge. Vinny's crust was also good, and it was fun. Gail says Vinny doesn't have a lot of fun. Damn. Back in the kitchen, Lana asks Vinny if he put pickles on the pizza as a “fuck you” because they said they didn't get enough pickles last time. Vinny told the judges it was because you always get a pickle with your sandwiches, but now he smirks for a long time before saying “no”. Heh.

Today's Stew Room is outside on the porch, which looks lovely. Massimo holds court about how beautiful it is. Tristen says this is the first time he's sat on a porch and didn't have sweet tea. Heh.

Judges' Table. Vinny, Tristen, and Shuai are the top three. Massimo looks pissed. Shuai isn't good at doughs but he knows he can make scallion pancakes. The toppings all worked together, and Gail says it “challenged” their idea of what pizza was. Did it? I guess. Tristen says he put stuff he wouldn't normally put on pizza. Like he doesn't like ranch. Ha! Every time Tristen hates something but has to make it, he does very well. He wanted it to be like a kebab, and those often come with tzatziki, so he went for that feel. He also worried about the dough because he put beer in it, and they cut in a shot of Spike nodding smugly. Very clever and Spike loved the ranch. Vinny admits his brother made him this pizza, and Vinny said “that's stupid why would you do that”. Nice. It was lighthearted but also delicious. As Wylie goes to announce the winner, he holds hands with Spike for some reason. I don't know. Anyway Tristen wins. This is his third immunity win and he beat two Italian guys to do it.

Henry, Paula, and Cesar are the three in the bottom. Henry knows why he's here. He had always planned on pho flavors, but ran out of flour so pivoted. Tom asks if he meant to crisp the rice, and then that it didn't happen. Henry looks genuinely shocked. He only crisped one side, but that was on purpose so it would be softer in the middle. But then you couldn't pick it up, so it was a rice dish with raw beef. Not pizza. Cesar knows he's not good at pizza. There was a lot going on, and he needed good dough to carry all his flavors. The cocoa powder burnt and made everything bitter. Paula knows she had too many toppings and probably too much sauce. Some of the pizzas were raw, because it had too much moisture.

Tom says if you get rid of the dough, Cesar had the best dish. It was the most cohesive idea, but Spike says his worst first bite was from Cesar. Gail thinks Henry panicked about the dough and just spiraled. Kristen can't believe he'd see rice that needed to be crispy and not make it crispy. Was it not crispy? Or did you want it crispy on both sides and it was only crispy on one side? Because it sounds like he only did one side on purpose. Paula's pork was good but nothing else was good. Spike argues you could eat Henry's, but Paula's was raw and he'd send it back. Tom yells that it was a pizza challenge and you got a bowl of rice.

Tom says that it's difficult to make pizza or master pizza, even though people thinks it's a convenience food. Henry is eliminated. Aww. Well listen, at least it wasn't last week when it wasn't his fault. He didn't make what he wanted to make but he's not giving up.

Next week: it is of course Restaurant Wars, something about conversations, someone says “oh shit” which is meaningless.

Last Chance Kitchen: Henry wanted to challenge himself, and this is his way to get back into the competition. He's ready to battle Katianna. Tom makes a terrible “pizza pie” joke. You of course need a great dough for pizza. Or for anything you bake. The challenge is to make something that features a fresh-made dough. You still have only 30 minutes. It doesn't have to be pizza, but 30 minutes means no time for resting or chilling.

Henry is going to make wontons, and Katianna is making “a crumbled version” of a dough. Some will be fried and some will be baked. She says something about chowders. Henry is kneading by hand because he's not making enough dough to use a stand mixer. Katianna uses the food processor, and she has butter in her dough so maybe it'll be like a pie crust. Kat is a good peanut gallery member, she yells a lot.

Tom Time! Katianna says it's a cross between a pot pie and a seafood chowder. Some dough is already in the oven and some might be fried. Henry has wontons and the filling is pork and scallions. Henry gets another interview about how he used to be ashamed of Asian food being cheap and not classy, and he's been working on not being embarrassed of it. Katianna has her fried crumbles and she adds lemon zest and some herbs. Henry gets a big flame on his pan and Tom says don't burn down the kitchen. At the last minute he seasons the liquid he boiled the wontons in and adds it like a broth. Katianna has noticed what Henry is doing, and now she's wondering if she did enough work. Henry is proud of his dish.

Henry: pan seared wonton with pork, soy, scallion, with soy sour broth and garlic scallion emulsion. Katianna: pot pie seafood chowder with scallops, mushrooms, vadouvan crust, and crumbled dough. Both of them managed to get a dough made in a short time. Henry's dough is a little chewy, but Tom says that's not in a bad way. The broth is kind of weak but the emulsion is great. Katianna's dough is tender and the chowder tastes like it should. The winner is Katianna. Bah. Henry's happy with what he's done, and I think he's glad to go out on something he's proud of, instead of a mistake. Tom said the broth was too weak, so that's two weeks in a row that someone lost because they added a component they didn't need to, that wasn't that good.