Project Runway 8/17/17--"One Size Does Not Fit All" summary

The important things to know: the models range in sizes up to a 22, which is an actual plus size and not a “plus size model” which is a person who is not an actual plus size person. We don't know how model selection is going to work, which means that it's always possible everyone will always pick the smaller girls and this “experiment” will fail quickly. Also if you win, you get a capsule collection at JC Penny, and I'm not pretending I never shop there but it is not a place I associate with Fashion. So, I guess let's do this. (click for more)

OK guys, I just got back from a dinner that was way overpriced and also had skinflint portions that didn't taste like anything, so I'm in a GREAT mood for this show.

First a preview of this season, which seems as gimmicky as possible. Camping. Crying. Someone walks off the runway and complains to a PA that “there is no fairness in this game” which I hope is them calling the producers out on their blatant manipulation. Then Tim yells at everyone for whatever incident being unprofessional and atrocious. I'm sure we're meant to think he's referring to some kind of cheating or whatever, but I think it's just as likely he's referring to whichever designer walked off stage. Blah blah.

Kenya says she's coming to murder everyone but in a nice way. Kenya is the big woman who is always wearing something with a peplum. Aaron tells us there are no rules anymore. He appears to be wearing a sheath dress with one sock garter. I mean, wear a dress if you want, but the one garter thing seems excessive. You know how Erin last season was not just quirky but seemed to scream that fact at you? Yeah. Ayana is very excited, and I am too because that's the Muslim woman and she looks really cute. Please fight with Heidi about things being short and tight.

Everyone arrives at an empty event space with two bartenders and what looks like a bunch of vanities with mirrors set up at one end. Claire and Shawn waste no time getting drinks. Claire and Shawn are identical twins but one has a shaved head (that's Shawn) and the other has a long ponytail (that's Claire) so at least I can tell them apart. Deyonte is emotional, plus his wife is about to give birth. Shawn immediately brags to him that she and her sister started out dressing celebrities like Katy Perry and are already famous. Then why are you on this dumb show? Margarita is from Puerto Rico and uses that in her designs. Kentaro used to be a pianist, but he got tendinitis and switched to designing. Amy is the designated “old person who is a teacher”. Batani-Khalfani works with African prints and claims to be strategic. As people show up, I guess Claire and Shawn decide to be official hostesses and bug everyone. Brandon has taking one womenswear class, so that should be hilarious. Because “hip-hop menswear” goes over super well here. Chacha (sigh) tells us he designs “cute fun happy clothes”.

Eventually they open the sliding garage door so someone can drive a bus inside. Why did we spend money on a tour bus with the logo? Who knows. Kudzanai really wants to see what Tim is wearing today, which I can get behind. No matter what kind of nonsense Tim is spouting about like, how the show isn't rigged, he does dress well. No one cares about Heidi. More than one person is crying right now.

First challenge begins now! Whatever. Tim says a bunch of stuff about red carpets, and then says the first challenge is to design a red carpet look that shows who you are as a designer. Pretty standard. Heidi gets excited about surprises, and then all the models get off the bus, which is when you can see they're not all the same size. Margarita says how model #3 has “real curves and a real body” which, I get her sentiment, but it's not like the first two models were imaginary? Sentell is freaking out but I think he wants to step up to the challenge. Brandon looks pissed, because he's never made women's clothes and then maybe he has to work with a fat person! Gasp! The two women who are larger seem pretty excited (high likelihood they've been sewing their own clothes anyway) and then Margarita was excited. Models have been “randomly assigned”, and then Tim says for each new challenge they will be assigned a new model. So you can't build that relationship with your model where you know what they look good in, and how to fit their body, but then you also can't just keep picking the same skinny girl every week? Also let's go ahead and put “random” in heavy quotes because Brandon looks to have the largest model. Also Margarita has a tiny person and she cheered so I saw you, Margarita. Samantha seems legit excited to have a plus size model.

5 minutes to measure your model, 30 minutes to sketch, then $300 at Mood, then one day. Now everyone reads off numbers which are meaningless to me, because I know my size but not my waist measurement. Brandon complains his model has the “hardest” proportions. She's stacked though. I mean damn. Oh God, there's a “Model Mirror” for confessionals. Anyway, Liris is obviously worried about Brandon. She tells him she has an hourglass figure and so wants to show that off, and skin is fine. Chacha tells his model she has a Kardashian booty. She finds this cute and not insulting, so that's a good sign. Sketching does not involve fancy tablets but it does involve erasable pens. The twins talk to each other because that's how they always do. Brandon continues to freak out. Is he trying to pretend he didn't realize it would all be womenswear? I feel like that's a little bit of his whining. You knew going in that you wouldn't be designing for men except maybe once. Come on.

Mood is Mood. Lots of variety in designs. It doesn't bother me because there is a very wide range of “red carpet”, from Oscars to MTV. As long as you can name the red carpet you're designing for? They didn't specify. Hi Swatch! The workroom is the workroom. Oh but guess who the accessory wall is? JC PENNY. I didn't think you could stoop lower then fucking Chinese Laundry but come the fuck on. Don't you dare bitch at anyone this season about how their looks are not “edgy” or “editorial” enough. You want to sell out to JC Penny, then fine, but how dare you tell me this show is about Fashion and expect me to swallow that.

OK. Still the Brother sewing room. Tim tells them they have until 10:30 and then bails. Claire asks Shawn for help, because since they always work together, they're very specialized. Sentell used to be a dancer, but he didn't want to do that so he went to an oracle that told him he would be a designer so he's two years in. True story. Samantha is designing “business cleavage”. I think Chacha is putting crumpled up shiny pink satin on his dress. In the lounge Chacha tells everyone his dress form is so fat and it's weird. Sigh. I was gonna be mad, but it's pretty likely English is not his first language, and also that he's clueless. Sentell says they have to use a different word. Then everyone has confessionals where they list all the euphemisms for fat people: full-figured, plus size, hourglass (which is stupid because you can be a straight size and still have an hourglass figure), well at least Kenya says “bootylicious”. I'm more annoyed by the listing of dumb buzzwords than I am by Chacha. It's going to be like this all season, isn't it. Ayana says she doesn't care what the phrasing is, “as long as a plus-size model is not seen as a problem-size model”. See I knew I would like her.

Tim Time! He demands personal stories from everyone. He likes Kenya's design so she's thrilled. Amy has a wrap skirt and cigarette pants, which sounds cool. Aaron is doing something weird with like, the pants are a top? The bottom is a shirt? Concerned Tim. Samantha is doing well. Kintaro wants his dress to just be limp. Well it's what he wants. Margarita has a detachable cape. I guess so. Chacha has weird fabric. He says it's sparkly but it just kind of looks speckled. And then pink satin. But Tim, rather than say it's tacky, tells him to do whatever he wants and commit to it. That's not advice, Tim. The twins talk to Tim and Amy makes fun of them in confessional. They are pretty extra when they talk, with dramatic pauses and extra diction. I'd be rolling my eyes by now too. Just explain yourself to Tim. Also no one says “indeed”. Tim loves what Kudzanai is doing and he also tells Michael that if he wants tacky, he has achieved tacky. Sentell wants cropped pants, which make people look shorter and so Tim has actual advice for him. Batani has a bunch of lace and embellishments, but there needs to be design under there too. Deyonte has a tropical print with a giant flower, which Tim loves weirdly. It does look cool. Brandon has something basic and it doesn't look great.

Model fitting. They get confessional time and I don't know if I like it. Why would you be diplomatic in confessional? Everyone looks more or less OK but Batani is worried about embellishments, and of course Brandon is flailing.

It's a hotel this year, which seems...eh.

Runway Day. Chacha is putting as many pink ruffles on his dress as he can. Brandon's top is like, brown and white camo. I have no idea. Tim appears to give them two hours with Avon and...hair. I missed what he said. Kenya has a ton of hemming to get done. Shawn's model loves her look, which...it's silver hot pants and a crop top with floor length sleeves. The makeup guy is someone new. It's not even whoever pretended to be in charge last year. No hot makeup guy Scott. No one complains about their outfit.

Heidi's black jumpsuit has a giant keyhole from her neck to navel and also a pussy bow. Sigh. Guest judge is Olivia Munn. Tim Gunn Save happening. Kenya: long white dress, that almost looks like it's constructed out of muslin. Strapless sweetheart neckline with some corset boning. And then a tight mermaid skirt to the knee and lots of fabric from there to the floor. There are flaps on the hips like pockets that are sticking out. It fits pretty well although I think it's a tiny bit tight and hard to walk in. Kudzanai: a boxy sleeveless vest, down to her knees, and tight pants, in a bright red with random pink accents. So like, one knee and one hem sort of accents. I think there's a shirt under the vest but I can't tell. Each quarter of the vest looks like it's a different length. I can't figure out what red carpet she's going to, especially since he gave her a big casual purse. Ayana: long dark gray gown with a design over the chest. AND a matching hijab. The pattern looks like leaves, or a tree maybe, but I can't tell if it's paint or applique. The dress has long sleeves and a high neck and it fits like a glove. It's very striking. Shawn: shiny silver hot pants and a white crop top. The top has a mock turtleneck and then one shoulder is covered with a piece of fabric that drapes to the floor, while on the other side the fabric is knotted at the side of the crop top under her arm and then drapes to the floor. First of all, what kind of red carpet is this for and secondly, everyone else made gowns and you made a bra and panties basically. And those hot pants have an elastic waistband! Ugh.

Batani: gray gown. OK, so the skirt is full, but also looks like it's been draped. Actually it looks like a tight dress, with a bunch of fabric tacked to the front over her stomach, draping over the existing skirt. The bodice is a U-shaped gray piece over her boobs, with strings to hold it down and the sides exposed. Then there is white lace around her waist and between her boobs. When they show a close-up, it's not that the sides are exposed but there's a magenta ribbon? Then the back has a line of lace right down the crack of her ass. And skirt has a train? But it's not done right so I'm afraid this model might trip? This is terrible. Claire: short tank dress with a full skirt that reminds me of a tutu. The top layers are light pink, with darker pink and orange underneath for a sort of ombre effect. The lighter top layers are cut very short over her left leg so the dress looks lopsided. It's fine. Brandon: crop top in brown and white camo with some pink in the print, with pink ribbons down one side and a wide neckline, like it might slip off her shoulder at any time. Then a long pink skirt with a high slit, and a blue and white striped ribbon waistband. It seems boxy, like it doesn't fit her properly at all. The top is just kind of shapeless, and the ribbons are dumb. Chacha: loose A-line dress, above the knee, with long loose sleeves gathered at the wrist. . It's in a weird green/pink non-color. Along the neckline and lining the open back are bright pink satin puffs.

Amy: her model comes out in a big black cape, then strips it off to reveal a black bikini top and tight pants, then somehow the cape becomes the skirt. I don't know. Sentell: shiny gold dress that ends just above her ankle and has pointy shoulders. Like really pointy. And no sleeves, but that thing where you just get rectangles of fabric and they kind of lay along the arm if you put your arm in the right place. Also fairly shapeless with a giant puckered seam in the back. Kentaro: off the shoulder black top, like a peasant top, with tails and pieces of chiffon draping down like a skirt or a duster. It sounds tacky but it moves very well. Under this is a plain white floor length skirt. It really moves beautifully. Deyonte: long one shouldered dress in a bright tropical print. The print is basically big sort of abstract flowers and he's placed them well. I mean the print is doing the work but it's done well.

Michael: loose black pants, slit up one side to close to her knee, with the slit lined with grommets. The top is a cold-shoulder furry black sparkly top with long sleeves and a halter neck. Like she's covered in glittery fur but her shoulders are exposed, and also the cut of the top and the cold shoulder makes it look like the whole thing is drooping. Aaron: a black halter top, the kind that are a tube top and then one strap running up the center of the chest to a collar. And white pants that are weird. I guess they're supposed to look like a shirt? But they're stiff, but also wide-legged and cropped? There's weird seaming around her waist so maybe that's supposed to be the “shirt” part. I can't see the outfit very well but the impression I get is that it's shabby. Samantha: black dress, knee-length but with the sides being a little longer. The top is a basic tank top style, and there's some sparkles along the bodice and in vertical stripes down the skirt. It's not very exciting but there's been some fugly stuff today. Also: JC Penny. Margarita: long red palazzo pants (I thought it was a skirt until she said it was pants), a matching bikini top, and a cape. The cape is basically one piece of chiffon draped down her back, but she's walking fast enough to make ti trail behind her. There are chiffon poofs at the shoulders where the cape attaches.

Gah, finally. Batani, Deyonte, Chacha, Shawn, Kenya, and Brandon are the top and bottom. So that means Sentell's terrible gold dress made it through, and Ayana's dress was passed over. Figures. Kenya is asked to not only explain her dress but her design point of view. Her ideal woman (named Toni) is very busy with events. Heidi knows this dress was a lot of work, but maybe the fabric isn't standing up to the dress design. Zac and Nina love it and Olivia loves the pockets. Shawn says something about luxe streetwear or something. At least she knows this is aimed at MTV. It's unbalanced. If she had made a long white skirt, it would be better than Kenya's dress, but the shorts don't work and Zac says it's “hookery”. Chacha also designed for the VMAs and says she's a big girl, but not too big, but can handle cute stuff big. Oh I didn't notice on the back one of the skirt panels is all shiny pink satin. Everyone cringes at Chacha but for some reason I'm not. It just feels genuine to me? Like, he's babbling and it's kind of cringy but it's because he doesn't know English? Heidi says it's a dance recital costume and also a scrunchie. Nina thinks she's covered in a lot of fabric, and although it's short, I guess her chest and arms are covered so that's too much fabric? Now suddenly Nina cares that Chacha didn't design for his model, which is the dumbest thing. No one cares what the models think, Nina. They ask her if she likes it, and she just sort of shrugs. Oops.

Deyonte was designing for Cannes, which is actually perfect. The flower in the print is placed perfectly. Zac references Michelle Obama. I do like it a lot. Brandon says something about skin and leg or whatever. They...like it? What? He could have done better than this. It's like, ribbons and that top doesn't look right at all. And who is wearing brown camo on the red carpet. Whatever. Heidi references athleisure because of the striped ribbon or whatever. Batani tells them she wanted to camouflage her model's midsection, which makes me cringe. You just ruined it. Nina says they should celebrate her figure, and she doesn't want to compare Batani to another designer but Brandon did a good job and gave his model a crop top. Can we not do this shit? Not everyone wants to show off their skin. Brandon's model did so that's fine. But don't hold that example up and tell Batani she should have made a sluttier outfit. Come on. Nina pretends she likes plus size models even though I'd like to know how many plus sized models she's allowed into her magazine. They accuse Batani of putting that back line of lace to hide something but she insists it's just because the back was boring. OK so that lace was ugly. So if you're going to yell about that then I can get behind that.

Lifetime. Why in the FUCK is there a preview for next week right here? I'm not watching a rerun. I just saw people who are in the bottom three right now in your preview for next week. And last week whoever was writing your social media posts had all the captions saying the show premiered on Tuesday. Get your shit together! It's not that hard!

There's a lot of weird behind-the-scenes shots about like, counting down to the start of filming, and giving instructions to the models, and whatever. No one cares. Deyonte's dress looks hand-painted. They love Brandon's, because of course they do. Tim says Kenya was going to put a lining in her dress but ran out of time, and they agree that it's still impressive. Shawn's silver shorts are leather. Chacha's fabric is pretty but the sleeves are too big and Nina has decided to be eye-rolly about it. When Batani's model comes out, she tells the judges she didn't ask to be covered up. They start moving the drapes around and insist that she has a great figure. Heidi gets to the back and it turns out they were right about the lace tail down the back. There's a quarter-sized hole right in the center of her butt, like a seam gave way, and the lace is covering it. Now they're all offended she lied about it. Zac says some stuff about how great body diversity is, and I was prepared to yell about it but according to the half-assed Googling I just did (it's almost midnight and I'm tired) he does have plus sizes. Anyway, there is no deliberation shown.

Deyonte is the winner. Hey, Brandon didn't win. I can get behind that. Kenya is in. Brandon is in. Shawn is in. Chacha's construction was a mess, and Batani refused to “embrace [her] model's curves”. Batani is in. Chacha is out and should take his stuffed animal jacket and go. He loves Heidi but Heidi doesn't get him. Shawn encourages him to find the girl who already loves what he does. He shoots back that he thought she was going to say it was her. OK, hee.

Next week: team unconventional materials challenge, with trash. So you can predict how that will go down.