Saturday, April 1, 2017

TAR 29, Recap Leg 0, 3/23/17

Welcome back to the Amazing Race!  It’s season number twenty-nine, and the gimmick this season involves single people!  Well, not people looking for love, like TAR Blind Date, but 22 people who want to be paired up to race around the world!  (Toyouke: “Did you realize the last season we had of this show was the internet celebrities season? It was that long ago. And now we have another gimmick.“)  Oh, and I brought Toyouke along for the snark. Aren’t you lucky?  Now, being that I had to wait for the first episode to find out the teams, this is a little late, but I’ll do my best to talk about them and rate them as unbiased as possible.  The teams were chosen via ranked school yard pick-em, based on the finish of a challenge.  Placement after the challenge is listed after each person’s name.  The eleven teams for TAR29 are: (click for more)

Becca (7) and Floyd (12), Team Nerdgasm, #TeamFun. Becca is from Pittsburgh and Floyd is from Colorado.  They are both in their twenties.  Becca has a degree in Outdoor Leadership, and a fun meter button.  (Toyouke: “She seems pretty awkward. “)  Floyd plays music, and essentially is Urkel.  He has watched TAR since he was young and memorized all the world flags before coming on the show.  I think I’m going to like them.  Prediction: Fourth Place.

Brooke (16) and Scott (6), Team Will and Grace, #TeamBrookeandScott.  Brooke is from New York and Scott is from North Carolina.  They are both in their mid-thirties and already have very distinct opinions of how to run the race.  (Toyouke: “ She seems self-aware, but I can't tell if he's funny or if he's annoyingly cocky.”)  I like the fact that he is gay, but I think they are going to self-destruct.  Prediction: Eighth Place.

Jessie (19) and Francesca (20), Team Lori And Bolo Redux, #SwoleSisters. Jessie is from Ohio and is six foot three, and Francesca is from California.  (Toyouke: On Jessie: ‘I hope I have a male partner! I am emotional enough for 15 women!’ JFC. But ‘if you cry on national TV I don't want to be your partner!" I dislike her already.’)  As the only all female team, and both fairly buff as far as women go, I would not be surprised if this worked really well.  Prediction: Third Place.

Kevin (15) and Jenn (13), Team Asians Unite!, #LongHairDontCare.  They are both California, and act like siblings almost immediately.  Also, Asians seem to have stuck together.  (Toyouke: “He seems almost like a laid-back Southern California surfer type, but his bio has little pieces of humor that I like. And she is a generic beauty queen.”)  They seem likable enough, but I worry that he might be too laid back for the race.  Prediction: Ninth Place.

Liz (17) and Michael (14), Team Backwoods Hipster, #TeamLizandMike.  Liz is an auctioneer from Missouri and Michael is a hipster butcher from Pittsburgh.  They are also one of two teams with the largest age gap of thirteen years.  (Toyouke: “Liz is from Maryville, so she is the local to root for. Her bio has far too many exclamation points. It also has the very telling sentence "I can't wait to see what the world is like outside of Missouri!"  Michael's a hipster! He's a butcher and all the meat is local and they make their own bacon. Hipster. He is so clearly odd-man-out compared to the vast majority of the other contestants, but he claims to be able to drive anything so I really hope that stick shift knowledge is going to be a stealth advantage.”)  I like them as a pair, but hopefully their inexperience won’t catch up to them.  Prediction: Fifth Place.

London (11) and Logan (18), Team Vapid Models, #TeamLoLo. They are twenty-seven year olds from Florida and New York respectively.  Logan is pretty.  (Toyouke: “I're just drooling over him so it doesn't matter what I say.“)  They are good looking and athletic, so they should be fine, barring a major slip up.  Prediction: Sixth Place.

Matt (2) and Redmond (9), Team Athletic Men. #TheBoys.  Matt is from Colorado, and Redmond is from California.  Matt is a professional snowboarder.  (Toyouke: “I don't know. Generic sports guy.”)  Redmond is an amputee, because he fought oversees.  (Toyouke: “Hilariously like the 5th or 6th amputee that's run the Race, right? So many. So many I have zero concerns about it.”)  They are strong young men.  They’ll do fine.  Prediction: Second Place.

Seth (1) and Olive (3), Team Justice League, #TeamAmerica.  Seth is from Washington and Olive is from Rhode Island, and is the other team with the thirteen year age difference.  (Toyouke: I like that Seth sees his communication skills as an asset, as opposed to his biceps. Also I heard you, subtle "my boyfriend" comment.   Literally the only thing I got from Olive’s video and bio is, as you watch how she talks, the way she holds her mouth I feel like she used to have a lip ring. That's it.”)  But between the two of them, they are crazy strong.  Prediction: Winners, TAR29.

Shamir (4) and Sara (5), Team Hot Young People, #TheSAndSExpress.  Shamir is from New York and Sara is from Maryland.  They are in their late twenties, and really just hot young people.  (Toyouke: “Shamir is the only guy to admit he wants a hot girl partner, but he at least says it's because most winners have been coed teams.  Sara is all "I'm not emotional so I get along with guys". Also "I'm totally not high-maintenance". I don't know, I just don't like her.”)  I think they are just hot.  They can go away.  Prediction: Seventh Place.

Tara (10) and Joey (22), Team Old Folks, #TeamMomAndDad. Tara and Joey are they two oldest people in the race, at 38 and 46, this time around, from Virginia and Massachusetts, respectively.  Tara is a pretty generic mom and wanted to compete with her husband at one point.  Joey is from Boston.  (Toyouke: “First of all, I love a Boston accent. Second, the whole "I'm playing for my kids" is dumb but I also like his attitude of "I didn't run the Boston Marathon to win, I ran to run a prestigious race, so being able to run all the legs is more important than actually winning".”)  I can’t expect them to last long being an older team with all these young people.  Prediction: Tenth Place.

Vanck (8) and Ashton (21), Team Beauty and the Geek, #TeamVanckAndAshton.  Vanck is from Minnesota and Ashton is from Texas, and they are the most mismatched pair of the whole bunch.  (Toyouke: “Her nonchalance of "Oh, I would NEVER meet my husband on the race! Wouldn't that be funny! Ha!" is grating. Girl please. “)  Although she may be right.  Hopefully they will find a way to work together, but probably not.  Prediction: Eleventh Place.

Some overall impressions.  (Toyouke: “So many of these videos on the website are like dating videos.”)  I would agree, but maybe it’s because they are finding to try and find a pair to race with.  (Toyouke: “I also feel like there are way more military/police people this season. Way more than usual, and way more people in physical jobs than usual. Is that good, or are you and I going to be driven insane by intense failure at puzzles and navigation?”)  I think an overabundance at physicality might lead to an overabundance of bungling.  This could be fun.   (Toyouke: “Everyone wants a partner who is calm. No one wants a partner who gives up easily or is emotional.”)  And there it is.  An oddly well rounded batch of contestants.  Hopefully you were able to tune in on Thursday, March 30 at 9:00 pm CDT for the hour premiere, but if not, the next episode is at that same time next week.  See you with the first recap soon!

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