Project Runway 12/22/16--"Finale, Part 2" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: a waste of my time and your time because no one gets eliminated and there is no additional look to work on so in the end, what is the point of making the finale two episodes? So the judges can give you orders and then penalize you if you don't follow them? Whatever. (click for more)

Also, I'm watching this online, and it's only an hour. One hour. When it aired it was two hours, and I think half an hour of that was a preview of PR Junior? Anyway, even with that imagine how many commercials that means.

Also also, don't forget Heidi wasn't even there. The HOST of the show double-booked herself and didn't care. So why am I supposed to care again?

In the Scrap Bin after everyone got yelled at, the designers discuss how they have a little time today and then tomorrow and that's it. Tim comes in and offers another trip to Mood and $500. That's a lot. They must have fucked up pretty badly. Cohesion is a hard thing though. You can't make everything look the same, but just using the same fabric all the time doesn't work either. I feel like everyone tried to show the range of their collection but that just meant showing three random looks. Roberi makes fun of Kors.

So I guess there isn't going to be a surprise 11^th look? Good. Roberi talks about his vision and there is a montage of his weird looks. He does go very editorial a lot but they like that. Erin makes a print that sort of looks like a print her friend made for her. I believe the banana print.

Tim Time! Rik wanted to give options but is now showing more skin because Heidi. Also he might make another leather dress because that's the one thing they liked. Tim tells him to let go of his initial vision of his looks. Doesn't that sound like he's saying “your original collection sucks”? Laurence is making a shirt for the brocade jacket and not a ton else, it sounds like. Erin is once again spending a ton of time on some random embellishments. Tim tells her to avoid craft projects, but her whole fucking collection is a craft project? Come on, Tim. Roberi doesn't know what to do, because the judges disagreed on if he needs to be more sexy or not. Plus he likes to be confusing. Tim does point out that for a collection, maybe confusion is not a great idea. He's repeating the striped top they really liked.

Laurence kept that linen romper that was boring and just added some leather accents. Whatever. She has a montage of her looks and it just shows how she make she makes the same square shoulder all the time. I still think she designs for herself and she just happens to have a good sense of style. It's not like careers haven't been made on that exact concept, I just don't think it should be winning design competitions. Roberi says he might loose a finger on the sewing machine but he will if that's what it takes.

One day left. Rik has to make an entire dress. Erin appears to be making a neoprene baby pink top with a peplum. Roberi decides to use heels and not loafers. I don't mind the loafers, but Nina seems to. Montage of Erin's looks that are all crafty and embellished shapeless looks. She never lost her way, HEIDI, you just stopped praising her and then started again. Whatever. Hair consults which are as usual. Does anyone care about this? I know when they started the “let us tell you what to do” meeting they sometimes yell about styling. Laurence appears to be making a skirt out of fishnets. Like, thick sparkly white fishnet material. Rik worries Heidi might say his new dress is tacky, which is unlikely as we know. I mean, she has said that before, but the chances of Heidi saying something is tacky is pretty low. Montage of Rik's looks, which are pretty good.

Tim comes in and demands a greeting. He gives them a “gather 'round” and then says they haven't had one all season. Really? Then he gets “emotional” about how great they all are and a group hug. He does not say they are the greatest they've ever had. I also notice that everyone is dressed plainly, because it's just a work day, but Erin is wearing a loud floral smock because of course she is.

Runway Day, 3:30am. Rik is in tears about how much he wants to win. It's moving because I'm pretty sure they do those interviews after everything is over. Notice how everyone looks stylish and then there's Erin in a tent dress with fruit painted on it. You can stop trying so hard at any time. They go in the tent, where there isn't an actual runway, just the floor. It bugs me for some reason. Everyone does last minute stuff but there doesn't appear to be as much sewing as there sometimes is. Roberi gets called over by Tim and says one of his models isn't coming so there's an alternate. The shoes might not fit though. The judges walk out. Heidi is of course in a short skirt and over-the-knee gold boots. Zendaya is the guest judge. Laurence discovers a hole in one of her skirts. Jeez.

Rik is up first. You can find collections at Lifetime. You may have to scroll around to find the ones you want. Rik's collection is inspired by “bandits”. Or at least that's the name. That black and white bodysuit is now just a swimsuit, which is too bad. There are some nice leather pieces, but the embellished denim is still very busy. Much more prints paired with simple leather, as opposed to head to toe print. How are his prints too much but Erin's are fun? Ugh. I'm pretty sure they didn't show the designers at the time, so if you watch carefully you can see how Rik and the audience are never in the same shot.

Laurence goes second with her collection “Finding the light in the darkness”. The first look is a leather jumpsuit that looks like plastic and which no one can wear. That linen jumper has a belt now. That's it. All of these clothes are things Laurence would wear but the things that look good on her only look good on a narrow band of the population. Sheer backless pieces don't sell to everyone. The last look is a bodysuit, but it doesn't attach at the crotch? And the fishnet skirt. It's odd.

Roberi is kind of freaking out. So all of his models are wearing red strappy sandals and there is no red in his collection. It's just kind of odd. I don't mind the shiny pieces as much as I did, just because they're balanced with more earthy colors. It's not terrible but it's not super exciting either, you know? I'm not thrilled by it. The next-to-last look is a fairly simple cocktail dress with macrame over it.

Erin is “proud of the whole experience”. Whatever that means. You know, maybe if she wasn't so aggressively “quirky” I would find this more fun? I don't think everything ever has to be simple and classy. But Erin herself is like a walking megaphone shouting “LOOK AT HOW FUN AND QUIRKY I AM” and I've just extended that to her clothes. There is a look with a shiny pink skirt, and a sheer top with squares draped over the model's boobs so it's all droopy. The maxi dress is now cut apart and the top is with a different look than the skirt. ALSO do not put your African-American model in a skirt and jacket with dark-skinned hands holding bananas. Come on. Also don't put a banana over her crotch like a penis. You see what I mean? The print itself isn't that bad, but it's tone deaf at best and then she's like “I know! Penis!” like calm the fuck down.

Backstage everyone cries and they find someone to say they think each of the finalists should win. Like they talk to some Project Runway Junior kids.

OK, time for judging. Everyone is proud of everyone. Blah blah. Rik gets a “good job” and also praise for rearranging them as instructed. Zendaya likes the embellished denim jacket. They love the dress he made yesterday. Also suddenly Zac wants the denim to have more shit on it. Foreshadowing, friends. Foreshadowing.

Heidi says her favorite look of Roberi's is a sheer long skirt with a short feather skirt underneath and then a bomber jacket with a blue and white print. Heidi praises his finishing and her voice echoes weirdly. I hear it a little bit in everyone's voices but it's weird. They also like how he listened to them, because of course they are.

Erin evolved on the show, you guys. Zac calls her look “art school cut and paste”. Seriously. Remember when “school work” used to be an insult? The top with the banana jacket is too simple, says Zac. Zendaya says it is “kooky” but also looks expensive. Yeah, in the sense of how sometimes designers will do crazy shit. I can see that. Heidi tells her she makes her think. Sure. Ugh I can't listen to them praise the shit out of Erin's “playful yet chic” looks.

Laurence incorporated her own style. But you knew that. Zendaya would wear some of the pieces, but she is a fashion person who wears things not everyone would wear. Then Zac says her collection is the most wearable which is laughable. No it is not. It's the most salable. But at the same time the collection is too boring. But haven't they been rewarding ready-to-wear collections for several seasons?

Now everyone has to say why they think they should win. Rik showed variety and range and followed the challenges. Roberi communicates and expresses himself through fashion. Erin has come “a far way” (ha) and this would kick start the next steps in her life. Laurence gave them a piece of her and stayed true to herself.

Nina says some designers surprised her but some were underwhelming. Laurence's collection is already in stores. Somehow they feel she lost her “coolness”. All I can see is that she didn't do a huge square shoulder and you just got done saying how you were tired of that. This collection is exactly what she's been doing. You gave her a win for a jumpsuit. Now all of a sudden she's “lost her way” or some shit and you're sad because you wanted her to win. Please. Rik had great denim and it worked really well. Also he mixed his denim and the black and white and it turned out. Nina says she doesn't know who he is as a designer. I hate that criticism. I feel like you should only say that when someone is copying everyone else and never does their own thing.

Heidi loves Erin and is like “Who would think to put hands with bananas?” and that answer is NO ONE BECAUSE IT'S TERRIBLE. She's connected to “her generation”. But only Zendaya would wear it. Her shapeless overworked shit is now “challenging” and “expensive looking”. Roberi turned it around and had some refined, stunning pieces. Nina argues that anyone could wear his clothes. Zac says in the end he will make pretty dresses with something interesting. Oh stop praising him so much when you were up Erin's ass all season.

They didn't hear Rik's voice as a designer so he is out. Boo. I like him. Laurence has great tailoring but they're bored, so she is out also. No one has regrets, as you could guess. Roberi surprised them with his great collection. Erin's collection was 100% her and Heidi literally calls it “quirky”. Roberi is...out. Ugh. UGH. He knows he'll get more opportunities but right now he's sad. Aww. Erin says some shit but ugh to that also. Hilariously Zac thinks she can have a big impact on fashion. This is the 15^th season of this show and the number of contestants who have had a “big” impact on fashion I can count on one hand.

Next time: there's a reunion. I'm going to try to get to it soon.