Project Runway 12/29/16--"Reunion" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: Erin won because I guess the producers decided it was time to pretend to be about fashion and not the most commercial collection. Anyway, it looks like there will be booze at this reunion so that's something. (click for more)

Also they're in LA for some reason. Weird. They're doing that thing where half of the contestants are out first and then the rest are backstage listening. Dexter appears to be wearing a blazer and no shirt, with gold across his chest instead. Montage of Erin and her “journey”, which is when she did the same things all the time and the judges went from loving it to hating it to loving it again. Really I don't see any difference in what she was doing. Erin glimpsed life through the show. Tim insists they have to talk about her obsession with yellow. She has a giant banana case for her phone that makes her phone like a foot long. Of course. She babbles about bananas and yellow. Tim asks Roberi how he felt to be so close to the win but not win. How do you think he feels, Tim? Sigh. He's got a job in a fashion studio and he's happy. Rik won that AARP challenge and a bunch of money. Tim just turns away from him as soon as possible so they can talk to Laurence, who is doing something with leather and luxury cars. Montage of Laurence and how she doesn't know English words. Also Nathalia can't pronounce anything. It's not that I dislike Laurence but they didn't even bother to pretend they cared about Rik at all and it was really obvious they just felt they had to say something to him.

OK time to talk about that one team challenge where Dexter and Erin had to be on a team with Cornelius and it was a shitshow. Dexter and Erin didn't come off well in this episode. I mean Cornelius wasn't the greatest person ever, but it was satisfying when Tim Saved him and they had to eat it. Watching the montage now Cornelius looks really smug. Erin now claims that she didn't think anyone should have gone home, but they had to pick someone so it's not her fault that she said he should go. Sure, I guess. Oh, and then Erin busts out with “the editing made me look bad” which is just so dumb. Other people interviewed that you were jacking around and Cornelius did the work, so it's not like they made that up out of nothing. I will say, though, that Dexter appeared to do the most talking. I can't figure out what is going on with his outfit. It looks like he went shirtless and stuck gold temporary tattoos on his chest. Erin is mad at Tim for calling her and Dexter “mean girls” which is pretty unprofessional to be fair. They were just having fun, she says. There's a clip where Dexter makes a dumb joke about having a $9.99 sticker on his ass, and then he says “and for 99 cents you can have Cornelius.” That's not editing, people. When asked about the editing, Cornelius says it was perfect, which makes everyone in the green room laugh. Erin dredges up some emotion and says Cornelius lied to her because the stuff he said in confessional was so mean, and she had no idea. Cornelius responds that if she would have listened to him, she would have known. True. Dexter insists he didn't complain until after they bought fabric, and Cornelius just says he tried. Dexter is suddenly all “I can't” about it, and Erin is still on how she didn't know. Tim asks incredulously if she thought they were working well together, because HE didn't think so. But then Tim says the editing is kind to everyone but I am sure that's not true. Mah-Jing tries to be nice about how clearly Erin would have thought things were going well with Dexter by her side but it didn't look that way to anyone else. Then Tim brings up Mah-Jing's group from that challenge and Mah-Jing is immediately angry about how that went.

So that means it's time to bring out the rest of the contestants. Well, just Nathalia and Jenni so they can argue with Mah-Jing. It was the same thing as the other team; two friends and a third. Watching the montage, it looks like it was Nathalia vs. Mah-Jing with Jenni sort of on Nathalia's side. I'll be honest, I had forgotten about this. Mah-Jing is still kind of pissed about Nathalia, because he doesn't know why she was so rude to him out of nowhere. He's getting loud now, shouting about how he helped her the first day and now Nathalia is like, Mah-Jing hated me from the first day. Jenni insists on talking and says she has no problem with Mah-Jing. In the end they did OK. Mah-Jing says he doesn't hold a grudge, he just wanted to stick up for himself. Nathalia nods like she can see where he's coming from. They just disagree. So that seemed to be all Mah-Jing just wanting to defend himself and once he got whatever it was off his chest, now everything is fine. I'm not sure if Nathalia is fine, but she seems to have dropped it.

Time for everyone else. Everyone is here but Sarah, as she couldn't make it because she's on her honeymoon. Damn, I would choose a honeymoon over this shit. Tim says everyone loves Brik. He was hilarious, talking about shiny objects and those bell-bottoms covered in glitter that he realizes a unicorn could wear. OK that was funny. Tasha calls Tim “Boss Man” and makes fun of Heidi. I liked her a lot. She secretly gave everyone nicknames. Not even snarky nicknames! Aww.

Montage of the big team challenge where Alex's team lost and no one would say who should go home. They all said they should go home, and Alex said he did the pitch and they hated how the pitch didn't match what they produced so he took responsibility for the failure. The weird sacrificing was annoying in everyone else but not him as much. He's not sorry he did it because clearly the rest of the team made it pretty far; Roberi, Nathalia, Mah-Jing.

GIANT mood change so we can listen to Jenni's laugh for a million years and also everyone else trying to mock her. I get it but this goes on too long. Although Brik saying it sounds like if you punched a donkey is hilarious. Tim forces everyone to show off their imitations and Kimber and Linda have the best.

Montage of Dexter and making up words or whistling so he wouldn't have to say “crotch”. Now a montage of people crying. Did this season cry more than previous seasons? I think maybe they did. It had more people breaking down completely and sobbing. Mah-Jing cries a lot. He says he didn't cry as much until his daughter was born and he was working for her. No one expected for things to be so emotional. Laurence decided when she came on the show that she had no kids and no family so she wouldn't get sidetracked by emotions.

Another giant mood change so we can talk about “Lady Cornelius from the Land of Shade”. He does say “no shade, but” a lot. He talks about people all the time, and he did talk to Brik to his face. Cornelius says he thought it was all funny. OK that's pretty cold and I'll give him some respect for that. Dexter sits with a bitchy look on his face until Tim acknowledges him. He says Cornelius was himself and it shows, because he was always was looking to undermine you. They fight about if Cornelius said everything to Dexter's face or did some behind his back. I guess if he had said everything to Dexter's face that would be better? Dexter is also a shittalker but he insists he was honest about everything. All of a sudden they decide to drop it which I'm sure just means no one thought they could win so they're going to pretend they're the bigger person by dropping it.

Tim makes them watch a montage of confessionals, which they must have seen if they watched the show, right? There is some laughing and I think some people are not taking it seriously. Erin, of course, is pissed even though everyone is right. Lots of shots of Nathalia and Erin going back and forth. Alex says everyone always tells him to watch his tone and now he sees what they mean. Tasha is like, thank God I'm the church girl and they didn't show me. It's all about how you say things. Nathalia blames her scenes on word vomit. Erin is suddenly hurt because Nathalia and Cornelius phrase things in a nasty way. Nathalia takes this chance to apologize if she hurt anyone, which is not bad because at least she was pre-emptive about it. Brik rolls his eyes so I guess not everyone buys it. Erin gets on her high horse and says that's the thing about you, Nathalia, is you're trying to take the high road but then when you're alone you aren't. Dexter insists that the only way to be real is to say things to someone's face. And if you think someone's stuff is ugly then don't say anything. Whatever, Dexter. He says “smug and abrasive” but that's not the same thing as being fake. Cornelius calls Erin out on saying how cute people's stuff was when it was terrible. She insists if she said something was cute then she truly thought so and if the judges put it in the bottom that's because they have different opinions from her.

Tim cuts them off, which seems annoying. Like, he knew this would cause arguments and so now let's just move on even though we're in the middle of the argument. Linda had tried out for the show before, and now she succeeded and it's inspiring. Ian (I don't even remember him, honestly) argued with Tim about hating volume and not wanting to be over the top. He doesn't regret it, although he has learned to be less inflexible.

Tim now has questions from the students. Or questions from producers that they told students to say. Brik, fuck/marry/kill? Why. Anyway, he would kill Cornelius, fuck Dexter, and marry Tim. Well Tim's not a designer but sure. Jenni, you said Laurence is a one trick pony, so Laurence what do you think about that? Jenni brings up the shoulders, but Laurence insists that the shoulders were all different. What? They were not different. You keep telling yourself that though.

Montage of “Tim-isms”, like all his sound bites he likes to say during critiques. Plus the facial expressions. Also thanking Mood in random languages. None of those were that great this season. This was “one of” his favorite seasons. You don't love the fans, Tim. Come on.

Tasha made a “Designer's Prayer” where she thanked everyone like all the camerapeople and interns and stuff. Aww.

Anyway, that's it! Thanks for reading and I'm sure there's another season coming.