I feel like
this show hasn't been on in ages. Right? And I actually like this
show. This season is “California”, meaning they're going to drive
around a bunch for no reason. Whatever, I'm still excited. Mainly
because I actually LIKE this show. (click for more)
Tom and
Padma greet everyone in L.A. The kitchen looks nice. They'll go all
around California and end up in San Francisco. Padma asks executive
chefs to raise their hands and I think everyone does except Frances.
Frances is the only sous chef, which both sucks and hopefully is an
opportunity for her to humble some arrogant bastards. Now is time for
introductions which start out with Renee, who is already annoying. To
both me and others. Also there are several James Beard nominees
(including Tom who raises his hand, which is too funny to me). Some
girl is missing the actual awards ceremony to be here. Whatever,
girl. GRAYSON! Remember Grayson? There was a dumb song. She was on
the Texas season and was not a horrible garbage person. Also I like
that they just let her in without making a big deal about second
chances or shit like that.
Quickfire
time. There's some new graphics I don't think I like. First task is
the mise-en-place race, which I like because it's easier to recap.
Turn 4 artichokes (which I think is taking all the leaves off and
then removing the choke and trimming it so there's just the heart
left), peel 45 asparagus, separate 40 eggs, break down 5 chickens,
supreme 7 oranges (that's where you take the peel off and cut wedges
so you just have orange and not the pith). Padma sells this as
“California ingredients” as if you can't get chickens and eggs
outside of California. She says to pick the one you think you can
finish the quickest, and the first 9 chefs will move to round two.
Round two has immunity, and let's be honest, is probably going to be
“make a dish with these things”. I think there are 17 people? Tom
says the ingredients are first come, first serve, so you might get
stuck with something you suck at preparing.
Phillip
says he has won “Chopped”, “Guy's Grocery Games”, and
“Cutthroat Kitchen” so he is now on “Top Chef” and I hope he
gets eaten alive. Food Network shows don't compare to this, son. Tom
says he would have picked chicken or artichokes. Frances actually is
pleased because this is her job. True. Renee brags that she gave
herself a challenge about breaking things down before she came here?
I'm not sure. She does win though. Wesley is also done. Phillip
promptly gets orange juice in his eye. Ha! Wait no one fought over
ingredients! Boring. Marjorie used to work for Mike Isabella so I
feel bad for her. Grayson isn't done yet and she's starting to flip
out. Garret is separating eggs and has broken a yolk, so Tom says he
has to redo it. He actually goes through two or three eggs and can't
stop breaking yolks, so Grayson finishes before him and he loses out.
Womp womp. Phillip quickly blames the 30 seconds he used to wash out
his eyes as why he lost, even though the woman next to him points out
his shitty supremes.
The nine
people get into groups of three to make a dish that has to showcase
“at least one” ingredient from the race. See I told you. 30
minutes, but tag team style. You get ten minutes and are blindfolded
for the rest of it. But, all three of you get immunity if you win.
Renee spends a lot of time getting ingredients. Isaac is making
breaded chicken and I guess is having everyone else figure out what
to do. Jason has no plan. Grayson seems to have a big plan to put
stuff out so the last person can plate so I anticipate him not seeing
that. Jeremy puts a pan of chicken in the oven, which is a problem
since you can't tell anyone what you've done. Why would you do that?
Wesley can't find the chicken because why would you think to look
there? He does find some back-up chicken Jason put on the grill,
which is both burned and raw. Amar finds their chicken and the slaw
and Renee and Frances gloat.
Grayson,
Isaac, Carl: breaded chicken breast with asparagus and mushrooms.
Jason, Jeremy, Wesley: grilled chicken leg with orange, anchovy, and
potato, and some carrot puree. It's a really small portion because
the chicken was raw. Renee, Frances, Amar: sweet and sour chicken
with marinated slaw.
Clearly the
tiny portion of chicken leg is not winning. Grayson's team was well
cooked, and Renee's team had good flavors. Tom says flavor will
always stand out, so Renee, Frances, and Amar all win immunity.
Elimination
Challenge. Feed 200 VIP guests at a “Dine LA showcase”, whatever
that is. You can make whatever you want but you should probably make
something that stands out from the crowd. In this crowd of 200 will
be a bunch of food critics who are going to be scoring everyone, with
the scores determining the top and bottom. Also Gail and Emeril will
be there. 3 hours to prep today, and 1.5 hours tomorrow. And a Whole
Foods trip of course.
Just so you
guys know, Top Chef's normal night is going to be Thursday because of
course it is.
Grayson
goes to Whole Foods and buys meat for meatballs and makes jokes about
balls because that's Grayson. I think Frances is making mung beans
and bitter melon. Daring, but she's got immunity so I'm guessing she
doesn't really care. Phillip says he knows all the food critics in
the area? Or something? Then he says he has no style or signature, he
just makes yummy food. I hate the word “yummy”. You know how some
people hate “moist”? That's how I feel about it. Shut up Phillip.
Three hours
to prep. Amar's making meatballs too. Isaac talks about making good
Cajun dishes for Emeril and his Louisiana accent really comes out.
Garret says a bunch of shit about the manifestation of cuisine. I
don't know what he's talking about. Wesley is making tomato water and
also a ridiculous mess. There is just trash and crap all around him.
Tom and
Emeril show up for Tom Time. Angelina is terrified of Tom. She
escapes pretty unscathed, while Isaac also does well since he seems
competent. Wesley is literally on his knees cleaning or looking for
shit or something. Turns out Isaac was unscathed because Emeril knows
him, but Emeril promises that he'll be harder on Isaac. Yeah
probably. Some frantic last minute running around and packing.
Everyone
heads back to the hotel/apartments/whatever to settle in. Frances
asks Renee to teach her yoga. Aww! Frances also busts out a picture
of her and her wife...who looks creepily like Renee. Hee. Karen is
the woman who ditched the James Beard awards to come here. She says
her spouse went for her, and she calls home to find out she lost.
Out at the
park everyone gets a little tent with a sign showing where they're
from and some chafing dishes and hot plates. Chad brags about his
super hipster beard. Garret appears to hate Mike Isabella so I kind
of forgive him for that “manifestation of cuisine” stuff earlier.
Phillip wants to smoke some crab or goat cheese or something so he
just picks up the dead grass from in front of his counter to light on
fire. What? Marjorie points out to him there are dogs around and
that's gross. True.
Once again
everyone runs in at once, creating lines. I wish Top Chef would come
here. Isaac: Grandmother's shrimp court-bullion. Delicious. Angelina:
goat cheese croquette with smoked romesco and caramelized parsnip
puree. Lots of puree. Maybe too much. Also a blogger says it was
cold. Garret: Vietnamese chicken brodo. Renee: citrus-marinated pork
with polenta. Could use some seasoning. Kwame: spicy romaine mah haw
with shrimp, pork, charred pineapple, and toasted peanuts. Mah haw is
pork on pineapple? I think? The peanut flavor is great. Amar: spicy
sherry-glazed pork belly meatball with cherry root cream cheese
puree. Lots of flavor. Karen: salmon and apple tartare with
pomegranate pickled cherries and Szechuan walnuts. Grayson: pork and
veal meatballs with spicy tomato sauce and gremolata. Tom and Padma
are underwhelmed with the sauce because it's just a regular Jersey
pizza sauce? Or something.
Carl:
spiced carrot soup. Goes over well. Jeremy: Pacific snapper crudo
with kombu gel and lime zest. Very simple and clean. Wesley: shrimp
and clams with mustard potato salad. While he's talking to Padma and
Tom he's futzing with a pan and I guess making everything to order
right then. He's also tasting and I thought he got a new spoon
because he tastes and then puts the spoon somewhere. But maybe it was
into a pan to add garlic or something so it's the same spoon he just
put in his mouth? Padma can barely hide her disgust at his double
dipping. They like the dish though. Phillip: California produce with
flavors of the Pacific. There's foam on it. Sadly everyone likes it.
Giselle: cauliflower almond soup. Marjorie: lamb tartare with smoked
egg yolk, shaved vegetable and herb salad. Jason: poached heirloom
chicken with salsa apicius. “Apicius” refers to an ancient Roman
cookbook. Chad: tangerine aguachile with scallop and shrimp cake.
Aguachile is ceviche spiked with chiles. Frances: mung bean soup with
bitter melon. Tom likes it.
There is a
montage of other chefs talking about their dishes but without chyrons
or explanations. Garret gets yelled at so I guess he hasn't done that
well. The judges gather and Padma tells them the critics scored
Isaac, Amar, Jeremy, Carl, and Kwame in the top. The bottom is
Angelina, Renee, Grayson, Garret, and Frances. The judges don't
totally agree. They do some discussion of how good everyone is, which
is basically them saying how good things taste. Frances and Renee
have immunity, so the person going home will be Angelina, Garret, or
Grayson. Tom and Padma hated Garret's, but Emeril and Gail got good
portions of his stuff. Gail didn't like Angelina's. I think their
problem with Grayson was less a bad dish and more them being
underwhelmed.
The Stew
Room looks nice. Phillip is bragging to the room that he knows all
the critics and no one is impressed. Everyone gets called out, which
is boring and as I've said before, they should let the middle chefs
sit down. Overall it was great. Amar, Jeremy, and Carl are the top
three. Amar's meatball was not ordinary. Carl's soup was not
heavy-handed with the spices. Jeremy's crudo was simple but very well
executed. Emeril makes a comment about how clean his station was and
Padma can't resist a dig and pointed look at Wesley. Jeremy is the
winner!
Angelina,
Grayson, and Garret are the bottom. Boo, no Loser Gong. Angelina
maybe didn't push herself as much as she should have. I think that's
what Tom is saying. There is disagreement about Garret's dish, but
they do point out he should have been consistent. Grayson is like,
well I'm sorry you didn't like my food, and everyone shuts her down
by pointing out the critics put her here. It was boring. Emeril
expected more from her, and Grayson says something about sparkles.
She's totally not sorry or contrite. Everyone is wincing on her
behalf.
Tom makes a
speech about standing out, and then Garret is sent home. Really? When
half the judges thought it was fine? That seems suspicious. Back in
the Stew Room there is drinking and general freaking out about “oh
the littlest thing could send you home” like they didn't know that.
Grayson is still defiant. Was she this defiant the first time? I'll
have to look.
The next
morning there is a note from Padma to meet her on the roof. What is
this, Project Runway? Sigh. Anyway Padma is up there with Ludo
Lefebvre to tell them they'll be creating four pop-up restaurants
today, in various places around the city.
Tomorrow:
pop-ups and the usual Restaurant Wars-style drama and nonsense.
1 comment:
Grayson was very defiant in her season, remember when she went at Tom over the head to head challenge in which she and Chris went up with a chicken salad sandwich and her line "a meatball?" was thrown at the judges' faces? If she brings that fire to each episode, we're in for a fun season.
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