Project Runway 2/7/13--"Surprise Me" summary

Previously on Project Runway: The teams remain the same. Everyone must make outfits for a ping pong social club. I know. There was some drama, but not any that was really interesting. Layana won, for making a skort, because we are to believe Susan Sarandon has never seen a skort before. James made weird wide legged crop pants. For a man. So he went home. (click for more)

So…the finale collections are being shown tomorrow. It’s just not really a prize to ask people to strive for if you only have to last three episodes to show at Fashion Week. You want everyone to see your collection, right? So what is the difference if you’re a decoy or not?

Michelle says the Dream Team has to win. If they don’t she will need “some sort of happy drug”. I will be honest, I have no idea who is on what team most of the time. Daniel says Patricia and Joe and Kate are all weak. Stanley agrees on Kate. Kate herself says in confessional that she is a fighter and ready to go.

On every workstation there is a big pink box with black ribbon, and somewhere there is a tray with what looks like little bottles of perfume and some dishes with things like rose petals. Tim is there. What happened to Heidi and the runway? Was she too busy? Pff. Tim says they are going to work with “a very important client” (oohhhh yes I remember the previews now, fleh) and she has opinions and whatever. So it’s Heidi. They ALWAYS design for Heidi and I’m tired of it. Daniel and Layana fake surprise because I guess they have been living in a hole. It happens every season! Anyway, this season there’s a big ad campaign for her new perfume called “Surprise”. She needs an outfit for the television commercials and for some PR event. Everyone pretends she won’t heavily edit whatever look ends up winning. OK, I guess they’re excited. That’s fine. Each team will make four outfits for the advertisements and two for the PR thing. One winning look for the ads and one for the thing. Inside the boxes are sample packages and bottles of the perfume. Then she claims she doesn’t like it slutty, and I laugh. Short, tight, and shiny! Come on, Heidi. Wow, I’m in a pissy mood today. You’ve been warned, I guess. She wants them to stay within the colors on the packaging, which are gold, black, and a light pink. There is also a storyboard for the ads, which is actually sort of useful because it shows she will be shot from all angles. Also Heidi’s book.

30 minutes to consult and sketch. $1200 for each team, and one day to sew. That’s a lot of money. I wonder if she insisted they get enough money not to have cheap crap. Team KIR teams up (they have more than 6 people) and they seem agreeable about it. Dream Team puts Michelle and Matt on the PR outfits, while everyone else takes the ads. Cindy is making a sheath dress and she says it’s sexier than she normally does. Michelle interviews that they might have an advantage because they have six people and there are six looks, so no one has to pair up and try to work with another person. Layana and Kate both have the same silhouette, but with different colors. Amanda and Joe have wildly different ideas. And different aesthetics, so I’m not sure why they’re paired up. Patricia is making a leather mesh? It seems cool. Cindy is going to use fabrics she’s never used before so let’s hope that turns out well. Matt complains he’s not a dress maker. What? Kate says they’re over budget, but somehow magically they get the money. She implies it’s because Layana is the one asking people for money.

Back from Mood, Joe and Amanda are still sketching. Still? Jeez. Cindy asks for opinions of her fabric, and Ben labels one of them “Madonna Material Girl”. She just agrees with whatever he says, which is a change from last week. Matt is doing a tube dress, and even though he thinks it will bite him in the ass, he is still doing it. Kate tries to talk to Layana but she’s all “Can you say it again? I wasn’t paying attention.” Layana has immunity so she doesn’t seem to care a lot. Amanda and Joe discuss compromising, and Amanda says she doesn’t know how to compromise, and then Joe says if his outfit was on “What Not To Wear” he’d be proud. Sigh. Patricia is cutting tiny squares of pink leather, I think. Stanley has gold sequins, which seems about right, and he tells Tu “Beyonce” and Tu dances which is really cute. Finally Amanda and Joe come up with something.

Tim time! Dream Team is up first. Ben has some straps, and they are all hoping it looks good. He doesn’t have a lot done so Tim can’t help him very much. Tim looks concerned. Tu and Samantha don’t get a lot of screen time, but Matt has like, leather and strapless and a faux collar. Tim says to go “all out, fashion S&M”. Cindy’s sheath dress with leather cap sleeves is “too covered up”. Tim knows Heidi. Michelle is working in leather, and Tim is pleased with her. Team KIR. Amanda says she thought about how Heidi will be standing and sitting at her PR thing. Tim makes Patricia describe her look in under 100 words. Her fabric looks good, but she couldn’t afford the leather to do the whole dress in her cut up fabric, and she doesn’t have time anyway. So she’s in trouble. I just noticed her sketch was a rainbow open-weave thing, and in her confessional one of the mannequins looks like it’s wearing her sketch. Huh? Seriously, the mannequins are in shadow, they show a shot of her sketch, and then the lights slowly come up and it’s wearing the sketch. Weird. Stanley went for the shiniest fabric he could find, and Tim says “Heidi loves the bling”. Daniel may have a synthetic fabric. Kate talks about the corset, and Layana (who is her PARTNER, let’s not forget) starts nervously laughing and saying she’s worried now because the color is not good. Maybe you could have said that at any other time than right now? Isn’t that your own garment? Tim points out the pink is the same color as on the bottle, which is what they were supposed to do. Layana throws Kate under the bus and whines that she wanted to do gold but Kate wanted to do pink so she said OK. Her whole attitude is “poor me, I am such a good team player.” Oh look, I found someone to root against. Kate is just like, OMG go cry in the bathroom, but I already made the corset so deal with it. Nice. I mean, she says it all in confessional, but still. Layana is pretty whiny this episode. Tim says they’re the ones who bought the fabric, so…? They’re putting black over it, and it looks like Layana sort of shuts up.

Three hours to go. Daniel needs to have some contrasting fabric, so he takes it off Patricia’s table. He says he has permission and he’s super thrilled. Model fittings. Cindy’s fabric looks cheap. It’s kind of shiny and sits weirdly on the model. Maybe it’ll turn out. Ben has almost nothing to fit. He interviews about an abusive relationship he just got out of and how he’s building himself back up. He has to stop the interview because he’s overcome. Aww, I want to give him a hug. Kate interviews that she and Layana are working well together because Layana is going with the flow? Huh? What about all that with Tim? I don’t know. Michelle pounds grommets or something and irritates everyone. Patricia is out of time. Layana complains that Patricia overreaches, but she’s also on Layana’s team so she needs her to finish so she (Layana) can win.

Day of the show. Samantha actually talks! I guess she’s safe. Tim comes in to give them two hours. Matt’s garment is way off, fit wise. So is Joe and Amanda’s. Patricia somehow has a garment. Ben seems to be flailing, and even Cindy is noticing. Hot makeup guy Scott. Daniel suddenly has an interview about how badly he wants to win. Ben is still sewing. Cindy tries to cut strips for him, but he seems reluctant to let her. In the end it seems he has nothing, but then backstage before the show, they show him and the rest of his team winding leather straps around the bodice. So I guess at least she’s dressed.

Heidi has a weird floral skirt. Unflattering. Guest judge is Kristin Davis. Team KIR. Daniel: long nude colored dress with a thigh slit and some contrasting dark leather straps along the waist and the deep V. It’s pretty. Wow, Zac is wearing a red velvet jacket with a floppy bow. OK. The dress moves well. Patricia: the leather vest has tiny pink and white squares, all stitched together. It’s attached at the very top, then hangs open over a nude short dress with no shape. Instead of a skirt, there are strings of gold squares, all strung together and hanging from her waist like fringe. Heidi can’t wear that. The nude is sheer, too. The back is lowcut but has no pink. Joe and Amanda: short black sheath dress, with a central panel and shoulders in a nude color with black geometric lines. It’s not bad. The central panel provides some interest. Richard: short striped sequined dress, one shouldered but with a collar too. Over her left buttock is a giant pile of black ruffles. Too many ruffles, dude. And lopsided. The dress without the ruffles seems right up Heidi’s alley, though. Layana and Kate: long black dress, the skirt seems to have several pieces or layers so it moves well, and the bodice is pink with sheer black over the top of it so it’s muted. There’s some black pleating or something along the top of the corset. It’s striking. The back has corset lacing. Stanley: short gold sequined dress, with some sheer black fabric drawn up and over one shoulder. Well he certainly knows Heidi.

Dream Team. Michelle: short black sheath with a contrasting panel at the top, across her shoulders. It’s really short, and the top has some sequins. The bust seems to be pleated weirdly but maybe not? It’s hard to see. Matt: also very short, tight black dress with a sweetheart neckline. The front center panel is slightly lighter than the sides, and she has a leather faux collar (so it looks like lapels) and then a strip of leather down her front to the belt. Weird. Cindy: shiny peach dress, short, with a narrow keyhole in front that goes down to her navel. The back is also low cut but when she turns around you can see how poorly the dress fits. Also the fabric looks cheap. Samantha: long black dress, with a high slit, and a contrasting strip of sheer fabric diagonally across her chest. The back has some sheer fabric too, so it seems more interesting than a lot of these looks. Ben: long pink dress with a bunch of strips of leather around her torso. The bottom has multiple layers, and it almost looks like the model has a little trouble walking. Ben actually says he hopes it doesn’t fall down, because apparently the top is just fabric wrapped around her and then held in place with the straps, which are not sewn to anything. Terrible. It’s riding low, too. Tu: long black dress with a halter neckline. It has a mullet hem, and the front has a ruffle. There are some side cutouts, and an exposed zipper.

Heidi says Team KIR has won again. So when are they going to mix up the teams so this is more even? It’s like a lopsided season of Survivor. They get to leave while Dream Team faces the music. Matt, Cindy, and Ben are on the bottom. Matt talks about the 90’s and bondage, but we all heard him during the runway show saying he hated his dress. Zac says it’s trashy, not sexy. The girls make dominatrix jokes. Kristin points out that Matt himself is dressed creatively. He admits to being intimidated. Cindy tries to talk about the fresh and beautiful colors and how elegant her color is. It kind of is, but not in that fabric. Heidi tells her the keyhole doesn’t make it sexy, it should fit her better. Zac reveals that this cheap looking fabric is actually shantung silk. Nina agrees with me, that it looks cheap, and you can see all the flaws. Heidi wonders why no one stopped her, and Samantha says this one was the best fabric she bought. Kristin is nice and says she saw what she was trying to do. Ben says something about his dress, and the first thing the judges talk about is the top. It looks like her boobs are squashed flat. Ben says his strength is construction, and then Nina says this is “the worst construction I’ve seen”. Really? Worse than Emily’s crap? Which was like, three days ago in real time? Come on, Nina. I’m not saying it’s great, but the worst? Zac tells him to slow down on the excuses.

Time for winners. Back in the Scrap Bin, everyone mopes while Michelle interviews that she thinks she could win, but because the rest of her team sucks she’s never eligible. Heidi tells Stanley and Richard their looks sucked and they’re lucky the rest of their team was good. Patricia has a high score? What? Are you kidding me? Her dress comes out, as well as Layana and Kate’s look, and Daniel’s look. Upon closer inspection, the leather squares are sewn together at the corners, so it’s a mesh. Nina, with a straight face, says it’s interesting, she really likes it, and Heidi should wear it on the red carpet. Heidi says it’s a surprise. Well, that’s true. This is dumb though. Heidi is not going to wear a sheer, shapeless dress with leather squares over it. Come on. Zac says it’s too young, so Heidi has to fake being unhappy, and then she pretends she likes that it’s boxy. Nina says everyone expects her to wear tight clothes, maybe because that’s all she wears ever. Kate talks about the corset and how it’s really her. Heidi likes the hard vs. soft contrast, and how you can still see the boning and work. They like the lace-up back, which maybe is not so elegant but OK. It moves well, which is true. Kristin likes the pink, which is funny because Layana was so whiny about it. Kate cries a little bit and says if this is the winning look, she doesn’t care if she wins immunity because everyone will be proud of her anyway. You know, I know there are two winners, one for the ads and one for the PR event. But I can’t remember which of these is which. Clearly there is one look that’s already won, right? Because there’s only three looks up there, and they can’t all be for the ads. And there are only two PR looks. Daniel talks about his leather contrasting strips along the neckline. They do help. It’s beautiful and fits really well. The judges love it, although Nina says the fabric looks a little cheap and Zac worries about the color.

The judges like Patricia’s dress, which I still think is tacky and not appropriate for wearing anywhere. But I disagree with the judges so much it’s kind of weird when I do agree with them. Layana and Kate’s dress is classic and Nina says it goes with the bottle. It does look good from the back also. Daniel made an elegant dress that maybe is not original but they rave about the leather straps, so I guess that’s something. Matt’s dress was too sexy, and it was simple but still didn’t fit his model right. Cindy used the wrong fabric, and she doesn’t have the skill to work with it. Ben’s dress was a mess, and Zac nails it by saying he’s pretty sure there’s no structure under the straps. So then what did he spend his time on?

Kate is the winner! She’s super thrilled, which is cute. She won by doing what she’s good at, so she promises to do whatever she wants from now on. Layana is in. Daniel is the other winner. He also designed for the ads, but Heidi decided it would look good at the press event. That is bullshit. One winner for the ads, and one for the press event. You can’t go changing the rules because you don’t like the options. Not that I think Patricia should have won anything. But still. Patricia is in. Matt is in. Cindy is out. Aww, she looks so sad! She’s thankful for the experience, and she’s still crying. Tim comes in and says he’s not ready for this, and I think he’s about to cry too. Her dress was cheap looking but she’s such a nice person.

Next time: unconventional materials challenge! We’re out of ideas for these so we’re recycling locations? Flower shop and hardware store. Couldn’t they come up with something new? Also, freaking BETTE MIDLER!