Previously on Project Runway: the designers were
tasked to make androgynous looks which were also avant garde. The twist was
they would be making two looks, one for their regular model and one for a male
model. Everyone kind of freaks out. As is usual on this show, no one’s looks
are particularly avant garde. Some of them are not really androgynous either.
Emilio made two great suits, which were androgynous enough you couldn’t tell
which was the girl and which was the boy, so he won. Josh got bitchy in the
Scrap Bin because he didn’t like how Ivy called him out on being full of
himself. Kayne was sent home, hopefully to make more pageant gowns and things
of that nature.
The designers all travel to the High Line. It’s a reclaimed elevated railroad bridge,
or I guess longer than a bridge, that’s been all planted and made into a park. Very
cool. Various people interview about how they have to bring it. Carolyn greets
them with the founders of the park. The part they’re standing on is not really
landscaped yet, but it is overgrown. They must make a “green” dress, which
means, eco-friendly fabric. This is for the red carpet. Carolyn has a bunch of
swatches, all double-sided, and they will each get one. Although, Emilio picks
first and the fabric he takes doesn’t seem to be double sided. There are prints
too. Anthony Ryan shows us his fabric, and it does seem pretty sheer, but if
you look closely (or at least, in a studio), it does have two distinct sides
and colors. Ivy is inspired by the sun, because a woman should “feel like a
star”. As a science teacher I approve. Althea would have picked a bold color,
but she went last so she’s stuck with pink and purple. They will also have to
recycle their embellishments from previous challenges also. Heh. Then Carolyn
starts talking about the guest judge, which seems weird because normally they
don’t do that this early. Eventually she gives enough hints that Laura gets it.
It’s Diane von Furstenberg. Carolyn pretends she just had the idea to wear the
winning design herself at her next event. Whatever, I saw what happened last
season with Ven and Kenley.
Ivy has lots of draping in her sketch. Uli and
Althea also seem to have good ideas. They head back to the workroom and run to
the lounge because that’s where all the embellishments are. I guess they have
leftover fabric too. Like a yard sale, says Emilio. Anthony Ryan says he’s
going to look at trim, but red carpet gowns don’t always have a ton of trim and
stuff so he’s not worried if there isn’t anything useful. Emilio brags on his
bold colors and interesting silhouettes. Well he has won twice. Laura snobs
that Emilio is a costume designer and it’s not fashion. Whatever, he’s won and
you haven’t. Emilio is making an “undergarment” out of muslin, so the chiffon
doesn’t have to support everything. He talks to Casanova in Spanish about how
he isn’t Uli, who only knows how to make “bedsheet” things. Why are you bagging
on Uli? Also, speaking in another language isn’t suspicious AT ALL. Someone says
they can’t wait to watch the episode and see the subtitles so they know what
those two are saying. Heh. Uli says she makes the challenge fit what she does,
instead of designing for the challenge. I guess you could do it that way. Her fabric
is darker than she thought. Laura says “pant dress” and Josh responds with “romper”.
He tells us in confessional he thinks she’s crazy, only he couches it in vague “I
respect her risk-taking” platitudes. I don’t like her print. From far away it
looks like rainbow leopard print. That’s not what it is, I don’t think, but
that’s what it looks like.
Laura says Diane is her idol. Uli says “It’s time
for Uli Explosion”. Love it. That means, feathers. Anthony Ryan says he feels
stuck, because he doesn’t usually work with chiffon, but he’s going to try because
a long, flowing gown is exactly what the challenge calls for. Ivy reminds us
that she was eliminated because she didn’t finish her red carpet look.
Joanna time! Laura has never met her idol, and
Joanna just says “hopefully you won’t be in the bottom three”. Heh. So her idea
is the pants will be very full so it will look like a skirt. Joanna likes it. Emilio’s
dress and Joanna’s dress are the same shade. Creepy. Anthony Ryan must be aware
of flashing people on the red carpet. Althea’s print is “dreary” so she has to
step up the design. Emilio shit-talks pretty much everyone. Uli has added a
bunch of trim.
Ivy says she’s hot. Casanova responds that he is
smelly. Nice. He is smelling his armpit and telling everyone how bad it smells.
Ivy is still cutting pattern pieces out. Model fitting. Ivy has nothing, and
now she’s freaking out. Josh says Ivy has good ideas but they don’t design for
the same clients. See, now that is how you say “I don’t like her stuff” without
sounding like a total bitch, LAURA. Althea’s print is really ugly. Last minute
running. Ivy continues to freak out.
Back at the hotel no one seems to be done. Or at
least no one will admit to having a full dress sewn. Josh asks if anyone has
dressed any celebrities. Come on, producers. We know you made them do that. Althea
has dressed Kardashians. Good for you. Emilio dressed a Tony winner. That’s it?
That can’t be it.
Next morning. At least everyone is behind. Emilio
is on his hands and knees on the floor. Ivy has decided to make her dress
short, because she doesn’t have time left. Althea has a ton of seams. Anthony Ryan
likens Laura to a squealing pig in the mud. Hot makeup guy Scott. Jesus Christ,
Josh, button your shirt. You are not at a disco in 1975. Anthony Ryan’s model
is having trouble walking because there is so much fabric on the sides. Ivy’s
skirt looks jacked up. It looks shiny like satin, but not pressed or even or
anything. Emilio can’t hem or finish his dress properly either.
Diane looks fab as always. Josh: dark green
fabric, one shouldered, slit up to her hip on the opposite side. There is also
a sparkly wide waistband. Eh. It’s fine, but not earth-shattering or anything. Slit
kind of high though. Uli: short dress with what looks like a bubble hem, in a
purplish-blue print. Over one shoulder is a band with a bunch of feathers and
trim. The dress seems A-line. Althea: short sheath dress. There are short loose
sleeves, I think they are cold shoulder sleeves. Then for some reason over each
hip are big squares of fabric attached at one corner. She’s flipped the fabric
back and forth so there are triangles of different colors in the bodice and the
sleeves. It’s not very good. Casanova: long gown in a red and pink print that
actually isn’t that bad. The reverse is a red, which you can see on the lining
of the skirt at on a fin that seems to be running across her boobs. It’s got a
kind of sweeping skirt which I like. Like Josh’s; it’s not terrible but it’s
not unique either.
Anthony Ryan: a giant caftan in blue. There seems
to be black shoulder straps and possibly a black belt buried in there. But otherwise
she is swimming in fabric and it looks like that dress Michael Costello made a
bunch of times on the last All Stars season. Ivy: short gold dress. The bodice
gathers from one shoulder to the opposite hip, and then there is a big swag of
fabric hanging off her hip. I guess if it was a long skirt there would be a
bunch of that, but instead there is a weird miniskirt that does not look good. Laura:
her print is weirdly 70’s, although it looks less hideous than before. Not that
that says much, because everyone’s fabrics are ugly today. Jumpsuit with very
wide pants and a low V neckline. I think also there is some draping at the
sides. As if she hung big loops of fabric at her shoulders, although it doesn’t
look quite like that. Emilio: long red dress with a strapless neckline. Actually
I think there is a strap on the neckline, but it blends in with the model’s
skin so I can’t really tell.
Josh and Casanova are safe. Why is Josh always safe?
Sigh. Anthony Ryan wanted something comfortable. They like it…? At least Diane
says there is too much fabric somewhere. Isaac says it looks like Anthony Ryan.
I will give him that it is interesting, if apparently so loose you will flash
your panties at everyone. Ivy talks about the rays of the sun, or something. Isaac
tells her this is the worst that fabric has ever looked. Ivy tries to say she
doesn’t do red carpet, and Isaac bitches at her that he doesn’t understand what
that means. It means she doesn’t make formalwear, you moron. I’m not saying
after being on this show twice now that Ivy shouldn’t know how to do a red
carpet look. But come on. It’s heavy and overworked. Emilio liked the color,
and he wanted something sexy. He also adds that he had a hard time working with
the chiffon. They can see the underlayer, and I guess it’s bad? The trim and
strap are useless. I thought they would like it. Uli promises never to use
feathers again. Isaac likes it, which is weird, because really? It’s getting
kind of tacky. They like the trim. Whatevs. This is approaching wack. Althea has
her model turn around and on the back is a diagonal double ruffle. Girl. The back of the skirt is also
jacked up. Too much fabric. They know the fabric is terrible, which it is, but
she should have gone for draping and maybe she could have salvaged it. Laura talks
about a mix of tight and flowy and whatever. Diane goes off on a tangent about
Rome and hot boys and “pajama palazzo”. She loves it. Loves. It. The sleeves or
loops of fabric or whatever are weird, though.
I don’t know if I like any of these gowns. Or prints.
Uli lucked out, and her dress turned out well even though no one expected to
like it. Anthony Ryan had attitude and “goddess” and “effortless” and I didn’t
like Michael Costello’s caftans when he made them either, so I’m not going to
agree. Laura made a wonderful romper. Emilio’s lining was crap, and the judges
think chiffon is actually easy to work with so what is he talking about? Althea
overdesigned her dress and it just didn’t work. Ivy couldn’t handle the fabric,
but they can see the design she was going for.
Anthony Ryan is safe. Laura wins, because the universe
hates me. Also the universe rewards jerkitude. Uli is in. Emilio is in. Althea
is out. Aww. Althea feels she could have won this week, just as easily as she
went home. Well…probably not. She’s not taking it as a slam on her talent,
though, which is good.
Next week: unconventional materials challenge!
Christmas decorations! Kylie Minogue!
4 comments:
How do you get such detailed, thoughtful recaps done so quickly each week? Well done - great to read since I didn't see the show last night.
Thanks for the new word too - jerkitude - love it!
I just read this commentary without even watching the show and I completely feel like I've seen it!! Thanks again, you've saved me so much time! Until next week, Dee
All Stars doesn't really feel like Project Runway without Tim and Heidi. The judges are still wackadoodle and so are some of the "all stars" but it just doesn't have that WOW factor anymore. I'm starting not to care about anyone of the contestants.
I really do appreciate all that you do with these recaps. You nail it perfectly. Sometimes I have to go to work before I can see the end of the show so I wait for your review to see if I want to watch it or not.
Cheers!
-Cass
I had to hunt you down this week!
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