Project Runway All Stars 12/13/12--"An Unconventional Nightmare Before Christmas" summary

Previously on Project Runway: make a red carpet dress but you have to use eco-friendly fabrics. Whatever. Laura won, even though she made a romper, because Diane von Furstenberg was the guest judge and that’s Laura’s idol or something. Althea was sent home, even though she is a good designer. She’s said in interviews that her dress had fallen apart, something had detached, and she had asked to fix it. The producers refused, even though in other similar situations designers were allowed to fix their clothing. So I guess she was not drama enough.

Everyone is out on some docks somewhere. Josh hopes for a pirate theme. No, sweetheart, I don’t think so. Carolyn says this is the location for the next challenge, as if they will somehow magically transport the workroom here. First, though, there is another “special guest” who is a jewelry designer. Fawaz Gruosi. He says something and Carolyn has to translate that winner gets a watch. Casanova is wearing a turban. Ha ha! Unconventional materials challenge! She says it’s the challenge that contestants hate but viewers love. Truth. Emilio lets us flash back to his season and his hot pink macramé washer bikini. Man that was a hot mess. Anthony Ryan reminds us of his birdseed dress, which was awesome and I still think it should have won. Carolyn is sending them to a store, with $350. The twist is that you should not be able to tell they got the stuff from the store. Whatever store. Also Kylie Minogue is here. I hope she is fun. Anthony Ryan thinks she is the biggest judge in Runway history, which I don’t think is true, but we’ll go with it.

Everyone runs to the store, which ends up being a Christmas store. Ha! How are they going to make a non-Christmas outfit out of Christmas materials? This is a pretty good twist. Laura buys sparkly things. Emilio stands in the pink aisle. Casanova says “What I can do? Live piñata”. Awesome. Emilio laughs that “a big fat white man that climbs through your chimney in the middle of the night would get shot in my neighborhood. We call those burglars.”

Casanova tells Ivy she has too much work in her design. Uli jokes to them that they should have come here as one person. Nice. What if one of them goes home? Josh reveals he has worn a tree skirt as a cape. Good for you. He thought he bought a roll of blue material, only to find the blue was just a sleeve to roll up the thing in. He reveals in confessional that he has bought a banner that says Happy Hanukkah and has Velcro candles. Ha! Anthony Ryan laughs at him. Uli has decided to make an entire dress out of embellishments. Judges, see what you have created. Casanova is taking poinsettias apart to cover the dress in leaves. Josh appears to be cutting up metal ornaments to make a bra. Emilio complains. Actually everyone complains about the challenge except Ivy.

Joanna time! Josh doesn’t have a lot of material. He is making a high-waisted short out of glitter ribbon. To go with a sports bra made out of metal ornaments and pieces of a train. Never change, Josh. Casanova is taking something apart, and Joanna says from far away it looked good. He just looks at her and says “You wanna wear this dress?” Of course not. Heh. Emilio and his pink color palette have successfully fooled Joanna. I think he’s making an entire dress from ribbon. Josh passes judgment on it, which, be quiet Metal Bra Boy. Anthony Ryan has a “winter” dress which is good. Lots of mirrors. All of a sudden Ivy is interviewing that Anthony Ryan is a copier and that he’s copying Uli and she’s known for this kind of thing? Is she? I remember Uli making long maxi dresses. Is she known for embellishments? Laura says some shit about stuff. Whatever. She continues in her interview that the prize isn’t about who NEEDS it, it’s who DESERVES it. Can’t you shut up about your money for two seconds? In an interview to people who already know? She made a silver shift dress. Boring. Ivy has gold fabric and twigs.

Casanova is in trouble. With three hours left he’s starting over. Model fitting. Josh’s bra is cone shaped. Most people have their models cut stuff up for them. Casanova is now braiding something. He’s in trouble. Uli thinks everyone is watching her.

At the hotel Laura loves her look, of course. They dis Emilio. Casanova worries that he’s only using fabric. Josh tells him to go around the room and ask people to borrow stuff.

Two hours on the day of the challenge. Emilio is going to have to glue his ribbon on. Casanova goes through with Josh’s idea and borrows things from people. Hot makeup guy Scott. Uli doesn’t think Anthony Ryan is copying her. Ivy hopes not having as much stuff will help her. Emilio destroys all the glue guns somehow.

La La Anthony is here too. Why are there two guest judges? They do that a lot and I’m not sure why. Anthony Ryan: shift dress with a lot of silver things stuck on it. I’m not sure what all is there, but each piece is cut small enough that you can’t tell what went into making it. Ivy: gold short dress. The top has some sheer fabric, still in gold, that makes up the top of the bodice and the long sleeves. The skirt is covered in twigs so it looks like long fringe. It’s not bad. Josh: Jesus. A metal bra that is cone shaped and covered in metal bits. Then there are hot pants in gold and green glitter ribbon. It’s pretty tacky. Uli: very short silver sheath dress, with some stuff on the shoulders so they stand out a little more. You can see some silver fabric here, unlike Anthony Ryan’s which was completely covered with ornaments or whatever. She also used that to make an hourglass shape, curving the stuff in at the waist.

Emilio: purple halter dress with a full skirt. It’s not a bad idea, but the hem in the back seems jacked up and it’s not terribly exciting. Casanova: gold short dress with lots of sparkly fabric. Whatever. At least he sent something. It’s mostly gold with a silver vertical panel in the front. Laura: silver shift dress with sparkly bits. It does look like a real dress. Humph.

Carolyn tells them they did a really good job, and then tells Emilio he is safe. Anthony Ryan wanted to do a stage piece, which is why it’s got so many mirrors. Isaac thinks it looks really expensive. Carolyn loves the length of the skirt. Laura wanted to make a beaded dress, and Kylie loves that it has pockets. But not that all in the center of the dress Laura put bigger mirrored things so they look like an afterthought. The other female judges like it, but then out of nowhere Isaac says the model looks fat. Hmm…yeah, it’s too loose or something. Casanova reveals that this is his third dress, and then Georgina says she likes it more now. Still has problems though. You can’t grade on a curve. The bra part is made of braided pieces and it looks too heavy. The cut of the fabric is also giving the model a belly pooch. Josh says he’s pushing it. Isaac says congrats and also a slap on the wrist. He likes the top (whatever dude) but the shorts are so horrible the model basically flashed everyone. She’s wearing disco ball boobs. The back of the shorts stick out so far it looks like maybe it is supposed to be a skirt. Ivy used a bunch of garland, but her proportions are off, and the keyhole in front looks cheap. Carolyn is not wowed. Uli just kept adding things. Isaac loves her piling on of crap, but says the hem in the back is heavy or something. Piling things on doesn’t always work, you guys. The side panels are sheer, which is nice.

Anthony Ryan made an expensive looking dress in the perfect length. Uli’s dress was nearly perfect, and they love the embellishments. I don’t mind it as much in this challenge, because the unconventional materials challenge has different criteria, I think. But in general? Not a big fan. Laura’s dress is deemed “perfectly OK.” Also it seemed like it was heavy. Ivy’s dress didn’t work and was boring. Actually they argue about if it’s boring. Josh’s outfit was unconventional but the shorts were a travesty. La La wants to give Casanova credit for recovering from his failures, but Isaac doesn’t. Yes, listen to Isaac. No extra points for your sob story.

Laura is in. The winner is Uli. She’s very excited. When they get to the Scrap Bin the guy is right there with her watch. Nice. Josh is in. Ivy is in. Casanova is out. Ivy cries that she wishes she could trade places with Casanova because he’s such a good friend. She walks in all crying, and Laura comforts her, and then they all have to be told Ivy isn’t actually going anywhere, it’s Casanova. Way to make it about yourself. Casanova is touched everyone cried.

Next time: a fashion face-off. I’m not sure, other than that everyone is shit talking each other like they always do.