Thursday, September 6, 2012

Project Runway 9/6/12--"Starving Artists" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Everyone had to make a dress to fit into a Lord & Taylor capsule collection, with previous contestants. Sadly these previous contestants did not appear. In general, the women got very upset and all thought they were going to lose. Everyone was fine, though, except Alicia and Gunnar, who were in the bottom. Then Chris won with his gown which wasn’t that great. Same thing he always does. And THEN the judges pretended everyone was so great this week they couldn’t possibly get rid of anyone, so no one is eliminated. Couldn’t be because too many people quit and they had to get the numbers back to where they are supposed to be. Or because this week’s challenge looks to involve teams of three so they needed the nine designers they had planned on.

 Sonjia is trying to move past the last challenge. Gunnar can’t believe he’s still here, while Chris is bitching that they should have kept everyone last week so Nathan could stay. Because Chris still hates Gunnar, in case you forgot while the producers wanted you to hate Ven. And, I think Alicia’s dress was worse than Gunnar’s last week anyway.
Heidi says they will have to use their creativity and negotiation skills. Everyone claims to be a good negotiator. Alicia has to do something good, she says. Waiting in the workroom is arts and crafts. Glitter and glue and stuff. Elena fake cries. Tim tells them they have no budget, because they will have to do their own fundraising. Everyone has to make “merchandise” to sell to people. There are T-shirts too. Ha! Hilarious. Elena hates that she has to make ugly stuff and then sell it. Tim then says they don’t have to offer merchandise, they should use “all” of their “talents”. Hee. He of course says he means alterations or fashion advice, but no one thought that. Also teams of three! Tim grins because he knows they hate it. No team leaders. Gunnar lets us know he also still hates Chris, who actually has gotten immunity this week. Also Gunnar hates his voice, which is pretty damn rich, GUNNAR. First group is Chris, Sonjia, and Gunnar. OF COURSE. Poor Sonjia. Next team is Dmitry, Elena, and Alicia. ALSO OF COURSE. Last team will be Ven, Melissa, and Fabio. Prediction right now. Ven’s team wins, because they have minimal drama. Sonjia gets shit done, and their team has drama but is fine. Dmitry and Elena are completely dysfunctional but Alicia is sent home. I can see it coming. They have three hours to make things.
People are all using the T-shirts, and there are also tote bags. Actually some of these don’t look that stupid. Sonjia is using scissors and stuff to make stencils with glitter. Gunnar and Chris are giggling together, and Chris claims to not know if he’s sincere. Goes both ways. Elena is using spray paint, and those things are ugly, but I could have told you that. A white T-shirt with a drippy spray painted heart and then you cut the hem to make strings. Seriously. Dmitry tries to embellish the shirts but she says it’s lame. Dmitry calls her “walking depression”. Alicia has confidence in her selling abilities.
They have two hours to sell things. Everyone has made signs, which is hilarious. Some random guy seems slightly offended that they aren’t raising money for charity or something. Elena tells people the shirts are crappy which is not going to help anyone. No one is making money. Elena tries to claim the rest of her team doesn’t talk enough. Fabio’s sign says “Save Fashion” which is hilarious. Sonjia offers up a song to some girl for some money. God. Chris is wearing a sleeveless black leather biker vest with no shirt. Eventually sales are made, and Tim tells them he’ll see them in the morning to explain the challenge.
Ven’s team has $800.48, Sonjia’s team has $684, and Elena’s team ended up with $500. They won’t get any more money, and each team will be making two fall looks. One of them must have outerwear. Sonjia is thrilled because she loves fall and outwear. One winner from the winning team, one loser from the losing team. Melissa says her team is all different in terms of style. Gunnar and Chris are not currently fighting. Elena is being bossy, and thinks they should get different colors and decide later. I don’t think they have the money for that. Sonjia gets kind of snippy about colors. Gunnar has to run and get notions while Sonjia and Chris figure it out. I think they get what they need.
Elena tries to tell Dmitry he has to make two pieces, or something? She doesn’t think one of their looks can just be a dress. Also she doesn’t want him to make fringe. Chris knows if Dmitry and Elena lose, they will both throw Alicia under the bus. Chris thinks Elena ruins every group she’s in. Currently she’s telling Dmitry that SHE doesn’t buy dresses, even though Dmitry thinks most women will. Whatever. He tells her that he’s putting a lot of details into the dress, so don’t cover it up with a jacket or something.
Tim time! Elena’s team sort of grunts at Tim. I think Elena was going to put stripes on the sleeves, but Tim talks her out of it. He also tells Alicia to watch the crotch fit on the pants. Dmitry shows off his dress, and Gunnar whines that Dmitry does “the same dress, in a different color and different silhouette”. What? How is that the same dress? Whatever. For some reason this has “exposed darts” and Tim recoils. No one understands. Fabio’s team has a weird rose color. Also Ven is making a skirt with layers and seaming. You know. Like he always does. Tim doesn’t think the same woman would wear the skirt and the coat. Eventually, as they talk about it, Tim says it’s the skirt that doesn’t go with the rest of the clothes. Ouch. He knows Ven has put a lot of work in the skirt, but you can’t sacrifice the rest of the collection. Actually when Tim says the skirt sticks out, Ven asks “In a good way?” No. Ven interviews that it’s just an opinion. Gunnar says the fabrics spoke to them. Gunnar is making the dresses, to go under the coats that Sonjia and Chris are making: a short draped jacket and a long trench, respectively. Also Sonjia’s coat has leather sleeves. Tim thinks maybe that is too much and overdesigned. Chris’s coat is in cashmere, I think.
 Fabio and Melissa basically tell Ven he should make a new skirt. Elena says something about sports, but I can’t understand her because she finds her joke hilarious. Dmitry calls her a witch. Gunnar is convinced his dresses are so awesome. He bitches to Elena about how Chris has immunity and he needs to step it up. Ven doesn’t like his new skirt, but he doesn’t have time. Alicia’s pants are somehow not tailored enough? I am not sure what Elena means. She tells Alicia she doesn’t like the pants, but Alicia does not care because they’re her pants and are covered up by the jacket anyway. Elena calls her a bitch and says she tried to give her team her input, but they wouldn’t take it because they’re “scared” she’ll take over again. So she takes the attitude of “dig your own grave then”.
Fabio’s coat is all gray, and Elena interviews about how much it sucks. She’s really bitchy in her interviews. Tim gives them two hours. For some reason, Melissa designed some pants but Ven cut and sewed them? And they might not fit? Hot makeup guy. Ven has made another skirt. Elena is still pissed because I guess Dmitry is making a dress and a shawl and so has a whole outfit to himself, while she and Alicia have to “fight” over one outfit. Whatever. You have a coat, covering Alicia’s clothes, so I think you won that one. Also Elena hates the shawl Dmitry is making. She tells Alicia that she doesn’t want the model to unzip the coat at the end of the runway, or unzip it later, because the pants suck. But that would mean Alicia doesn’t get to show off her clothes at all so she’s not having it. Elena complains no one is taking her advice.
Heidi is wearing some zebra print travesty. Also, as Heidi says they’ll have eight designers left after today, I am reminded that it is Fashion Week and the final runway show is tomorrow, so that is eight people showing. Sigh. Guest judge is Anna Sui. She has a cute dress on and also is slightly larger so I want her to rip Ven a new one. Dmitry: a slim black dress with long sleeves and a high neckline with a slashed keyhole. The “exposed darts” mean that there are vertical strips of fabric at her waist, as if her dress is inside out. Over the dress is a giant gray shawl with fringe. Alicia and Elena: big gray coat with black panels. The collar is supposed to stand up, I think, but it’s slouching. And the front hem looks terrible, as if the model did it herself with some scotch tape or something. The pants are pants. There is a shapeless lavender top. Sonjia and Gunnar: Sonjia’s jacket has draping across the front, almost a double breasted blazer effect and a small pointed peplum. The sleeves are ¾ length, and the dress sleeves stick out. You can’t see much of the dress but the skirt, which has vertical side stripes and looks fine. Chris and Gunnar: the coat has no buttons, it’s a wrap coat in camel cashmere with a sash. Is it sleeveless? I think it’s sleeveless. Gunnar’s dress is sleek, in brown tweed with a leather center panel. It’s a weird tea length though. The coat is odd. Sleeveless coat? Fabio, Ven, and Melissa: I’m not sure which pieces belong to who. Ven’s new skirt is just a full gray skirt. There’s a turtlenecked top, and a white jacket that kind of looks like a cropped fleece jacket. The shirt is longer than the jacket. The other look is slim pants, a long top with an asymmetric neckline, and a slouchy gray coat with bracelet length sleeves.
 Sonjia, Chris, and Gunnar are the “clear” winners. Really? I mean, I’m not arguing, that’s just not what I was expecting. Sonjia tells the judges this is the modern New York woman. She also confirms Chris’s coat is sleeveless. Both of Gunnar’s dresses are pretty good. Kors says a camelhair coat is hard to tailor, so this is a lot of thought. Heidi likes Sonjia’s jacket, and the tailoring is Nina’s favorite. Anna is the one who the producers told to ask about how everyone worked together. Everyone got to show their point of view and they actually did get along more than I thought. Chris says Gunnar should be the winner, which shocks me. Gunnar claims to not want to sound “pugnacious”, which no one believes. Just say you think you should win. We all know that’s what you think. Sonjia wants to win.
Dmitry offers to let Elena go first but she shakes her head. He talks about his look, and then Alicia talks about the other outfit. Elena is sulking so Heidi calls her out. She says Dmitry “took over” and didn’t let them split the work evenly. Ha! Dmitry took over. Elena keeps going and says she compromised and only made one piece and she is a total team player. I cannot roll my eyes hard enough. She and Dmitry get into it (see, at least one of my predictions is coming true). Elena says they had to build the collection around Dmitry’s dress because he doesn’t know how to make anything else. Heh, nice. The judges pretend they don’t love every second of drama. Nina says they do always see dresses from Dmitry, even though it’s just fine, but the shawl is too old. The coat is more of Elena’s volume, but it looks terrible open. Nina says, “You complain about how he only does dresses, but you only do oversized coats.” NINA GARCIA! Love it. Elena stammers that she’s the only one on this team that could do the coat. Dmitry says he could have done it, but she insisted and if she felt she didn’t have enough to do, she should have made a nicer coat. Kicking her while she’s down. Also everything looks cheap, especially the coat. Kors nails her because the coat is wonky and Elena has just declared she is a coat expert and knows all. Nina and Kors briefly turn their attention to Alicia, because she just did a random top and pants and they are boring. Heidi asks why no one helped Alicia. She ran out of time. Kors points out a really weird triangle seam on the top. No one worked together, and now the clothes suck. Elena wants to send Dmitry home, he wants to send Elena home, and Alicia agrees with Elena for some reason.
Fabio talks about lightness and so forth. Nina likes Melissa’s white jacket, but the top is too sheer and too tight. Nina demands they swap the jackets for some reason, but that doesn’t look any better. Heidi thinks it looks sad. The tops are kind of sheer, so you can see the pants through the bottom of the tunic. The top of the pants is terrible, really high waisted and insane crotch. Kors has to make at least one comment about a model’s crotch each season. Fabio’s coat hangs poorly and Kors says it’s a grandma coat. Then he turns on Ven to say he didn’t see Ven anywhere. Whatever. Ven throws them under the bus for ditching his skirt, but the skirt he did make was stupid. And the whole thing looks cheap. Ven claims they can’t pick one person to go home. No one will admit who the weak link is, or the weakest garment, but finally Ven says Fabio’s coat. Fabio picks Ven to go home, and Melissa can’t pick. Anna says they were all too nice, and should have challenged each other. But not too much, because then you get Elena’s team and the clothes suck then too. This advice makes no damn sense. Finally Melissa says Fabio’s top is the weakest.
Elena and Dmitry discuss the bus-throwing. Elena claims to regret that, and Dmitry says she wakes up mad, and Elena doesn’t think so, but she kind of does. The judges love Sonjia’s jacket. This team made expensive looking coats. Kors falls over himself praising Chris’s skill in using camelhair, but it is a sleeveless coat and is useless. Both of Gunnar’s dresses were great. Dmitry’s shawl was terrible, Elena’s coat was “sewn with her feet” according to Kors, and Alicia had very boring clothes and “was fighting for nothing”. Ven’s team gets dinged for being too nice, which is lame. One team is in the bottom because they fight too much, and one team is in the bottom because they didn’t fight enough. How convenient. Ven’s skirt is boring, Fabio’s shirts and coat just didn’t work. I guess Melissa’s jacket was good.
Obviously, Chris, Gunnar, and Sonjia are all in, but Sonjia is the winner! Yay! Melissa is in. Ven is in. Elena is in. Dmitry is in. Alicia is out. Told you. She says she had more to give, and has never been under so much stress. True.
 Next time: Mondo! The textile design challenge! Chris hates prints! Tim says “homage to a menstrual cycle”!

1 comment:

DianeP said...

Great recap Toyouke! You almost nailed the results - sorry to see Alicia go home, she was nice, but it was apparently her time.

Sorry we have to see Elena at Fashion Week... oooh, maybe they'll just keep the real winners a secret again and bring out just the top three? Nah... we'll probably see them all. My eye hurt already from those pointy shoulders.