TAR20, Recap Leg 5, 3/18/12

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on Maybe If I Act Like an Asshat I’ll Get On TV, teams raced from Paraguay to Italy. Art and JJ take the Fast Forward, putting them in first yet again. Dave berates Rachel B. because he can, and Rachel R. screeches at Brandon because that’s what she does best. In the end, a lost opportunity by Kentucky puts them in last place but get saved by a non-elimination leg. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Art/JJ, Team Patrulla Fronteriza
2nd – Rachel/Dave , Team Free Ron Again!
3rd – Joey “Fitness”/Danny, The Jersey Meatheads
4th – Vanessa/Ralph, The Dating Divorcees
5th – Nary/Jamie, The Fembots
6th – Brendon/Rachel, Team Sparkles – Rachel: “Where is the Rome?”
7th – Kerri/Stacy, Team Double Bubble
8th – Bopper/Mark, The Kentucky Hillbillies

Piazza Castello, Torino, Italy

8:57 AM Art/JJ (1st)
Clue: Take a train to Ehrwald, Austria and then drive yourselves across the border to Bavaria in Germany! Once there, make your way to Garmisch-Partenkirchen and find the Gasthof zum Rassen to get your next clue.

11:33 AM Rachel/Dave (2nd)
12:11 PM Joey “Fitness”/Danny (3rd)
12:27 PM Vanessa/Ralph (4th) – Vanessa: “We’re both very vocal in our relationship.”
12:56 PM Nary/Jamie (5th)
1:18 PM Brendon/Rachel (6th) – (Toyouke: “I think Rachel needs to spend more brain power on things that are not sparkly outfits. She looks like it's St. Patrick's Day and that is all the green she had.”)
3:58 PM Kerri/Stacy (7th)
5:54 PM Bopper/Mark (8th)

Everyone makes their way to the train station in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Rachel/Dave
3- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
4- Vanessa/Ralph
5- Nary/Jamie
6- Brendon/Rachel
7- Kerri/Stacy
8- Bopper/Mark

Teams then book tickets for the train. Based on travel and arrival times, teams must travel through Innsbruck and then on to Ehrwald. Teams travel arrangements are as follows:

Train 1, arrives first
1) Art/JJ

Train 2, arrives second
1) Rachel/Dave
2) Joey “Fitness”/Danny

Train 3, arrives third
1) Vanessa/Ralph
2) Nary/Jamie
3) Brendon/Rachel

Train 4, arrives third
1) Kerri/Stacy

Train 5, arrives third
1) Bopper/Mark

So as the Amazing Red, Yellow and Blue Lines race towards Ehrwald, we learn that Trains 3, 4, and 5 are all going to merge in Innsbruck. (Toyouke: “Wow, they left on the train without bunching.”) We now make our way to Ehrwald, and the teams arrive and find cars in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3- Rachel/Dave
4- Bopper/Mark
5- Vanessa/Ralph
6- Kerri/Stacy
7- Nary/Jamie
8- Brendon/Rachel

Teams now make their way to Garmisch-Partenkirchen and the Gasthof zum Rassen, which opens at 8:30 am. Only the first three teams are waiting when the restaurant opens. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3- Rachel/Dave
4- Bopper/Mark
5- Vanessa/Ralph
6- Brendon/Rachel
7- Nary/Jamie
8- Kerri/Stacy – who get lost, as is usually the case.

However, once they arrive, Bopper and Mark find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this speed bump, teams must dress in traditional outfits and learn a yodeling routine to the specifications of the instructor in order to receive their next clue.

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Bopper/Mark

After much knot yodeling, they continue with the rest of the teams in getting the clue.

And, when teams pick up the Travelocity Gnome, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Fairy Tale OR Champion Male
*Fairy Tale: Teams make their way to a forest where they must follow a trail of gingerbread to the town of Oberammergau. Once there, teams visit the witch’s house and put together the roof of a gingerbread house. Once complete, the witch will give them their next clue.
*Champion Male: Teams make their way to Unterammergau and participate in extreme beard styling by preparing a contestant of their choice. Once their model matches the provided picture, teams get the approval of the World Champion to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “This Detour is hilarious. "Pick up cookies and make a house, or style a beard." Both are utterly ridiculous.”)

1- Rachel/Dave choose Champion Male – Dave: “Rachel can really use her hair care products!
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny choose Champion Male - Joey “Fitness”: “We use gel!” (Toyouke: “And the meatheads are all over it. That is why it is ridiculous.”)
3- Art/JJ choose Champion Male – JJ: “I can craft a man’s facial hair really nice!”
4- Vanessa/Ralph choose Champion Male
5- Brendon/Rachel choose Fairy Tale – Rachel: “What’s a beard?” (Auburnium0513: “HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A BEARD IS???”)
6- Kerri/Stacy choose Fairy Tale
7- Bopper/Mark choose Fairy Tale
8- Nary/Jamie choose Champion Male

(Toyouke: “I don't get this Detour. Does it say how much gingerbread you need? Is there some poor PA running after Mark and Bopper throwing gingerbread down ahead of the other teams?” Auburnium0513: “Wouldn't it be easier to fit the gingerbread on the roof pieces while they're on the table?”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Rachel/Dave
3- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
4- Vanessa/Ralph
5- Nary/Jamie
6- Kerri/Stacy
7- Bopper/Mark
8- Brendon/Rachel

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to the model for Sleeping Beauty’s castle, otherwise known as Neuschwanstein, in Schwangau, and find their next clue in King Ludwig’s bedroom. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3- Vanessa/Ralph
4- Rachel/Dave - who go on a tour in Hohenschwangau Castle with . . .
5- Nary/Jamie – by mistake. Then they have to go to the right one! (Toyouke: “Sorry, but your princess is in another castle!”)
6- Brendon/Rachel – Rachel: “We have to go to Bolivia?” (Toyouke: “Also, Rachel thinks they're looking for Bolivia. She should go.”)
7- Kerri/Stacy – who go to Hohenschwangau by mistake. (Auburnium0513: “Have these people never seen "Sleeping Beauty"? Or the Disney logo?”)
8- Bopper/Mark – who go to Hohenschwangau by mistake.

Teams then go inside and find the clue in Ludwig’s bedroom. Teams find it in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3- Vanessa/Ralph
4- Rachel/Dave
5- Nary/Jamie
6- Brendon/Rachel
7- Kerri/Stacy
8- Bopper/Mark

Teams are then instructed to drive themselves to Füssen, make their way to the Bundesleistungszentrum für Eishockey und Curling and find Halle 2. They arrive in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3- Vanessa/Ralph
4- Nary/Jamie
5- Brendon/Rachel
6- Rachel/Dave – who get lost.
7- Kerri/Stacy
8- Bopper/Mark

We then get the fifth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who’s ready to put it on ice?

In this roadblock, one team member must curl using their gnomes as the stones and must land any or all of their gnome in the button (center) of the target. Once complete, the judge will give them their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Art
2- Danny
3- Ralph – Vanessa: “It’s shuffleboard with gnomes!”
4- Nary – who throws about 200 times. Jamie: “You’re good with targets!” (Toyouke: “"You're great at targets, Nary! I mean, in your job as a schoolteacher! Targets for a hobby! That's all!")
5- Brendon
6- Rachel B.
7- Kerri
8- Mark

After much curling of gnomes, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Art/JJ
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3- Vanessa/Ralph
4- Rachel/Dave
5- Brendon/Rachel
6- Bopper/Mark
7- Kerri/Stacy
8- Nary/Jamie

Teams find now that they must drive themselves to Landhannes Farm in Schwangau, the PIT STOP of the fifth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Art/JJ – who win a trip for two to Thailand. Phil: “I would like to ask you both to withdraw from the race to give these other teams a chance!”
2- Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3- Vanessa/Ralph
4- Rachel/Dave
5- Brendon/Rachel
6- Bopper/Mark
7- Nary/Jamie
8- Kerri/Stacy

And the cousins are eliminated. Stacy admits that it came down to Kerri’s poor navigating skills.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Art/JJ
2nd – Joey “Fitness”/Danny
3rd – Vanessa/Ralph
4th – Rachel/Dave
5th – Brendon/Rachel
6th – Bopper/Mark
7th – Nary/Jamie

Next week: Azerbaijan! Fire, and water, and oil baths, oh my! Until next time!