TAR14, Recap Leg 9, 4/19/09

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on Let’s Party With Transvestites in Thailand!, teams bounded from Phuket to Bangkok where teams sand karaoke and left their backpacks at tasks from which they were not planning to return. The Stuntmen broke more rules, resulting in more penalties, landing them in last place. And yet, they survive for yet another episode due to a non-elimination leg. This episode, Phil promises us the “most memorable Pit Stop ever”. (Toyouke: “It'd have to be an amazing Pit Stop to knock Danny and Oswald's chasing Phil while covered in coal dust from the title of "Most Memorable Pit Stop Ever". Or Jonathan and Victoria.”) Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
2nd – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerleaders
3rd – Tammy/Victor, Team Asian
4th – Kisha/Jen, The Athletes
5th – Mark/Michael, The Stuntmen

Phya Thai Palace, Bangkok, Thailand

9:36 AM Margie/Luke (1st)
Clue: Fly 1000 miles to Guilin China! Once there, teams must taxi to Qing Xiu Lu and find the hair salon. Teams must connect through Guangzhou China.

Margie tries to call ahead on a cell phone, but can’t seem to get anyone to help her.

10:30 AM Jaime/Cara (2nd) – Cara: “We probably shouldn’t yell so much at our taxi drivers.” You think?
10:40 AM Tammy/Victor (3rd) – Tammy: “Hey, I went there for spring break!” Victor: “And we speak fluent Chinese! Because we’re Chinese!” Oh dear.
12:43 PM Kisha/Jen (4th) – Jen: “We’re competitive. We will knock anyone over in our way!” Foreshadow much? (Toyouke: “Jen just said she was going to knock someone over, remember that.”)
4:08 PM Mark/Michael (5th)

Teams arrive at Bangkok International Airport in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Mark/Michael

Teams grab flights. For the first time this season, teams seem to end up on different flights.

Flight 1: 11:30 AM to Guangzhou, 8:30 PM to Gualin
1) Margie/Luke

Flight 2: 1:15 PM on Kenya Air to Guangzhou, 8:30 PM to Gualin
1) Jaime/Cara
2) Tammy/Victor

Kenya Air? In China? Oooooooookay.

Flight 3: 3:20 PM on Thai Air to Guangzhou, 9:20 PM to Gualin
1) Jen/Kisha

Flight 4: 6:10 PM on China Southern to Guangzhou, on to Gualin
1) Mark/Michael

Once in Guangzhou, the teams on the China Southern 8:30 flight find that they are delayed. And yet, they didn’t try to get on another flight. Bummer.

Teams arrive in Gualin and grab taxis in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Margie/Luke
4- Jaime/Cara
5- Mark/Michael

Teams take their taxis through Gualin to Qing Xiu Lu (Toyouke: “Wait, why is it daytime? Was the drive that long? “) and arrive in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara – whose taxi driver gets her hair done at this particular salon. Who knew?
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Mark/Michael

OK, the first push-and-shove. The Athletes and ASL both miss the cluebox at the hair salon and finds the Speed Bump instead. So, when they both realize where the box is, they both make a run for it. Luke arrives first and throws an elbow to get Jen out of the way. It hits her arm. I’d probably do the same thing. (Toyouke: “I don't know, it looked like Jen ran into Luke and possibly grabbed him, then tried to reach over him, so he threw an elbow, and she called him a bitch. Verdict: everyone shut up.” Auburnium513: “It's a race. Deal with it.”)

However, once they arrive, Mark and Michael find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this, the second of three speed bumps on this race, teams must wash and dry the hair of two customers at the hair salon. Once they are done, they may get their next clue.

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Mark/Michael

So, Mark and Michael wash hair, get their clue, and try to catch up with everyone. (Toyouke: “HA, this is a great Speed Bump.”)

Now, if a team didn’t have to do the Speed Bump, teams then get their next clue to travel to the #24 Bridge on the Li River to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Margie/Luke
5- Mark/Michael

And the second push-and-shove. In this one, Jen actually makes it to the box first, and it looks like Luke can’t actually stop soon enough so he runs into Jen and knocks the box all over the place. (Toyouke: “OK, Luke started it that time. Once he ran into her I think he should have backed off instead of trying to push his way to the clue box again. Not that she wouldn't have still called him names.”)

And teams arrive at the seventh roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
“Who’s ready for some fowl play?”
In this roadblock, one team member must choose a fishing raft and travel to the middle of the river where they use Cormorants (a local bird) to go fishing. The cormorants must catch ten fish for the team member, who then take the fish back to the dock to get their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Tammy – Victor: “When I think of birds and smelly fish, I think of you.”
2- Jaime
3- Jen
4- Luke
5- Michael

Teams finish the roadblock in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Margie/Luke
5- Mark/Michael

Teams are then informed that they should travel to the Ancient South Gate, a 1000 year old structure. They arrive in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Margie/Luke
4- Tammy/Victor
5- Mark/Michael

And teams get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Choreography OR Calligraphy
*Choreography: Teams travel to Central Island and join residents in their morning dance routine. Once they learn the steps and perform them correctly for the judges, the judges will give them their next clue.
*Calligraphy: Teams travel across the twin bridges to find the first of four calligraphy stations where they must copy Chinese characters onto a parchment. Once correct, teams will get a stamp and be sent to the next station. Once they’ve visited all four stations, the final teacher will give them their next clue.

1-Jaime/Cara choose Choreography – and the cheerleaders can’t seem to dance. (Toyouke: “"Is it a problem with the steps or do we have to keep going?" *nods* Hee.”)
2-Kisha/Jen choose Calligraphy – who decide that they can’t read Chinese.
3-Margie/Luke choose Calligraphy – who also decide they can’t read Chinese.
4-Tammy/Victor choose Calligraphy – who can read and speak Chinese and end up getting followed by all the teams who can’t read Chinese. (Toyouke: “I wonder if Victor and Tammy would know Chinese, if they could ask the person the words and just write them, without waiting. Or would that be cheating?”)
5-Mark/Michael choose Choreography

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Margie/Luke
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Jaime/Cara
5- Mark/Michael

Teams are then instructed to race on foot to the view of the Moon and Sun Pagodas on Banyan Lake. This will be the ninth PIT STOP for this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in here MAY be eliminated! (Or probably will be.)

Teams check in at the PIT STOP (Toyouke: “Who are these locals? Why do they get to have lunch?“) in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen – who win a trip for two to Barbados.
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Margie/Luke
4- Jaime/Cara
5- Mark/Michael

Oh, and NOT the most memorable Pit Stop ever. Actually, for me, very yawn worthy. My most memorable is TAR3, Leg 4, Torre de Bélem, Portugal, when Heather and Eve take a taxi to the pit stop instead of walking and incur a 30 minute penalty that moves them from first to last. Awesome. Major fight about being deaf and black and everything else? Not awesome.

However, the Stuntmen have run out of steam and are eliminated. Great.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Kisha/Jen
2nd – Tammy/Victor
3rd – Margie/Luke
4th – Jaime/Cara

Next week: Still in China, teams get a Chinese foot massage. And Jen is afraid of water. (Auburnium513: “Fear of water? WTF?” Toyouke: “Yeah, there have been lots of boats and fishing and whatnot. Where did that come from?”) Until next time!