TAR14, Recap Leg 10, 4/26/09

Welcome to Leg 10! Last time, on Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Running Into Clue Boxes Will Bruise My Ego, Bitch!, teams gallivanted from Bangkok to Guilin China where it was Luke Versus Jen in the battle of the clue boxes! (Toyouke: “BLAH I so don't care about last week's BS.“) At the Pit Stop, three teams raced for the mat for first place, and Margie chewed out Kisha in the most memorable Pit Stop EVER!!! (And yet, I disagree). Mark and Michael finally finished last and were eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Kisha/Jen, The Athletes
2nd – Tammy/Victor, Team Asian
3rd – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
4th – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerleaders

Sun and Moon Pagodas, Banyan Lake, Guilin, China

1:48 PM Kisha/Jen (1st)
Clue: Fly 1000 miles to Beijing China! Once there, teams must taxi to Liangzi Jian Gao Men Foot Massage Spa. Teams have $40 for this leg of the race.

Kisha says that she’s all over the previous leg. I highly doubt that. (Toyouke: “’There's no reason to harp on what happened in the past, we're over it,’ means ‘We will bring it up at every conceivable opportunity.’)

1:49 PM Tammy/Victor (2nd) – Tammy: “Hey, We went there for the Olympics!” Victor: “And we speak fluent Chinese! Because we’re Chinese!” Oh dear. AGAIN.
1:50 PM Margie/Luke (3rd) –(Toyouke: “Ditto to what Luke said.”)
2:12 PM Jaime/Cara (4th) – Jaime: “We’ve never been first.” (Toyouke: “Jaime and Cara are either going to win this leg or come in last, with that foreshadowing.”)

Teams arrive at Guilin Lianjing International Airport in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke – who are the first to get approved for the flight at the airport, but the credit card won’t go through, so they switch lines, but not before . . .
2- Kisha/Jen – (Toyouke: “I must give props to Kisha and Jen for eavesdropping and cutting in line.”) Kisha: “The dumb look is patented in China.” (Toyouke: “So now Kisha is the Ugly American?”)
3- Tammy/Victor – who got their tickets from a travel agent before getting to the airport.
4- Jaime/Cara

Teams grab the 5:10 PM flight on China Southern to Beijing. While waiting, the teams discuss the previous leg, and Jaime is just shocked, SHOCKED I tell you at Jen and Kisha’s behavior.

Teams arrive in Beijing and grab taxis in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Margie/Luke – who once again, run into Kisha and Jen on the way to the taxis.
3- Kisha/Jen – who once again, are not happy about it. (Toyouke: “OH SEE HOW OVER IT I AM!”)
4- Jaime/Cara

Teams take their taxis through Beijing to Liangzi Jian Gao Men and arrive in the following order:
1- Jaime/Cara
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Margie/Luke

And teams arrive at the eighth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
“Who’s feeling manipulative?”
In this roadblock, one team member must get a Chinese curative foot massage. The team member must drink a medicinal herb tea and then endure a ten minute foot massage. Once complete, team members drink another cup of tea to get their next clue.

(Auburnium513: “Is this the new version of the eating challenge?”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Cara
2- Kisha
3- Tammy
4- Luke

Teams finish the roadblock in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Margie/Luke

Teams are then informed that they should travel to the Guangcai Natatorium. They arrive in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Jaime/Cara
4- Margie/Luke

And teams get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Sync OR Swim
*Sync: Teams don swimsuits and complete a synchronized dive with a score of 10 in order to get their next clue.
*Swim: Teams don Speedo speedsuits and swim a 400 meter relay where each team member alternates swimming 100 meters each. Teams complete the full 400 meter swim to get their next clue. Oh, and they will be compared to Michael Phelps the whole time. (Toyouke: “Random Phelps!”)

1-Tammy/Victor choose Sync – Victor: “I’m in skimpy land!” (Kmanpat: “Yes, yes you are Victor. Please stay there.”) But later, after many attempts, they bald snark to Swim.
2-Kisha/Jen choose Sync – and Jen freaks out, so they bald snark to Swim. Kisha swims the first 100 meters and Jen freaks out and they double bald snark back to Sync. After two dives, Jen can’t take it anymore, so Kisha talks her into the rare triple bald snark and they go back to finish Swim.
3-Jaime/Cara choose Swim
4-Margie/Luke choose Swim

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara
2- Margie/Luke
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Kisha/Jen

Teams are then instructed to take a taxi to the North Gate of the Drum Tower to find Phil.
Teams find Phil in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara

Jaime and Cara, you are the first team to arrive. However, you are STILL RACING. Here is your next clue.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jaime/Cara
2nd – Margie/Luke
3rd – Tammy/Victor
4th – Kisha/Jen

Next week: As we continue from the mat, teams “check in” and get a shock. Plus, the prerequisite eating challenge in China, and Jaime and Cara’s big breakdown. Oh, and we narrow ourselves down to the final three. Until next time!
Clicky clicky

set your dvr

"Project Runway" will probably start in late July/early August. Apparently Lifetime is waiting for Bravo's rip off "The Fashion Show", or whatever, to finish up before they start PR. Assuming it begins after "Make Me a Supermodel" ends (Colin FTW!) then that's about the right timeline.

Also! At least some of the leftover unaired episodes of "Pushing Daisies" are supposedly going to air starting on May 30th. They've already aired two in the UK; if you want to watch them, you can find them on YouTube, probably. Clicky clicky

TAR14, Recap Leg 9, 4/19/09

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on Let’s Party With Transvestites in Thailand!, teams bounded from Phuket to Bangkok where teams sand karaoke and left their backpacks at tasks from which they were not planning to return. The Stuntmen broke more rules, resulting in more penalties, landing them in last place. And yet, they survive for yet another episode due to a non-elimination leg. This episode, Phil promises us the “most memorable Pit Stop ever”. (Toyouke: “It'd have to be an amazing Pit Stop to knock Danny and Oswald's chasing Phil while covered in coal dust from the title of "Most Memorable Pit Stop Ever". Or Jonathan and Victoria.”) Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
2nd – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerleaders
3rd – Tammy/Victor, Team Asian
4th – Kisha/Jen, The Athletes
5th – Mark/Michael, The Stuntmen

Phya Thai Palace, Bangkok, Thailand

9:36 AM Margie/Luke (1st)
Clue: Fly 1000 miles to Guilin China! Once there, teams must taxi to Qing Xiu Lu and find the hair salon. Teams must connect through Guangzhou China.

Margie tries to call ahead on a cell phone, but can’t seem to get anyone to help her.

10:30 AM Jaime/Cara (2nd) – Cara: “We probably shouldn’t yell so much at our taxi drivers.” You think?
10:40 AM Tammy/Victor (3rd) – Tammy: “Hey, I went there for spring break!” Victor: “And we speak fluent Chinese! Because we’re Chinese!” Oh dear.
12:43 PM Kisha/Jen (4th) – Jen: “We’re competitive. We will knock anyone over in our way!” Foreshadow much? (Toyouke: “Jen just said she was going to knock someone over, remember that.”)
4:08 PM Mark/Michael (5th)

Teams arrive at Bangkok International Airport in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Mark/Michael

Teams grab flights. For the first time this season, teams seem to end up on different flights.

Flight 1: 11:30 AM to Guangzhou, 8:30 PM to Gualin
1) Margie/Luke

Flight 2: 1:15 PM on Kenya Air to Guangzhou, 8:30 PM to Gualin
1) Jaime/Cara
2) Tammy/Victor

Kenya Air? In China? Oooooooookay.

Flight 3: 3:20 PM on Thai Air to Guangzhou, 9:20 PM to Gualin
1) Jen/Kisha

Flight 4: 6:10 PM on China Southern to Guangzhou, on to Gualin
1) Mark/Michael

Once in Guangzhou, the teams on the China Southern 8:30 flight find that they are delayed. And yet, they didn’t try to get on another flight. Bummer.

Teams arrive in Gualin and grab taxis in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Margie/Luke
4- Jaime/Cara
5- Mark/Michael

Teams take their taxis through Gualin to Qing Xiu Lu (Toyouke: “Wait, why is it daytime? Was the drive that long? “) and arrive in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara – whose taxi driver gets her hair done at this particular salon. Who knew?
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Mark/Michael

OK, the first push-and-shove. The Athletes and ASL both miss the cluebox at the hair salon and finds the Speed Bump instead. So, when they both realize where the box is, they both make a run for it. Luke arrives first and throws an elbow to get Jen out of the way. It hits her arm. I’d probably do the same thing. (Toyouke: “I don't know, it looked like Jen ran into Luke and possibly grabbed him, then tried to reach over him, so he threw an elbow, and she called him a bitch. Verdict: everyone shut up.” Auburnium513: “It's a race. Deal with it.”)

However, once they arrive, Mark and Michael find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this, the second of three speed bumps on this race, teams must wash and dry the hair of two customers at the hair salon. Once they are done, they may get their next clue.

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Mark/Michael

So, Mark and Michael wash hair, get their clue, and try to catch up with everyone. (Toyouke: “HA, this is a great Speed Bump.”)

Now, if a team didn’t have to do the Speed Bump, teams then get their next clue to travel to the #24 Bridge on the Li River to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Margie/Luke
5- Mark/Michael

And the second push-and-shove. In this one, Jen actually makes it to the box first, and it looks like Luke can’t actually stop soon enough so he runs into Jen and knocks the box all over the place. (Toyouke: “OK, Luke started it that time. Once he ran into her I think he should have backed off instead of trying to push his way to the clue box again. Not that she wouldn't have still called him names.”)

And teams arrive at the seventh roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
“Who’s ready for some fowl play?”
In this roadblock, one team member must choose a fishing raft and travel to the middle of the river where they use Cormorants (a local bird) to go fishing. The cormorants must catch ten fish for the team member, who then take the fish back to the dock to get their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Tammy – Victor: “When I think of birds and smelly fish, I think of you.”
2- Jaime
3- Jen
4- Luke
5- Michael

Teams finish the roadblock in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Margie/Luke
5- Mark/Michael

Teams are then informed that they should travel to the Ancient South Gate, a 1000 year old structure. They arrive in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Margie/Luke
4- Tammy/Victor
5- Mark/Michael

And teams get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Choreography OR Calligraphy
*Choreography: Teams travel to Central Island and join residents in their morning dance routine. Once they learn the steps and perform them correctly for the judges, the judges will give them their next clue.
*Calligraphy: Teams travel across the twin bridges to find the first of four calligraphy stations where they must copy Chinese characters onto a parchment. Once correct, teams will get a stamp and be sent to the next station. Once they’ve visited all four stations, the final teacher will give them their next clue.

1-Jaime/Cara choose Choreography – and the cheerleaders can’t seem to dance. (Toyouke: “"Is it a problem with the steps or do we have to keep going?" *nods* Hee.”)
2-Kisha/Jen choose Calligraphy – who decide that they can’t read Chinese.
3-Margie/Luke choose Calligraphy – who also decide they can’t read Chinese.
4-Tammy/Victor choose Calligraphy – who can read and speak Chinese and end up getting followed by all the teams who can’t read Chinese. (Toyouke: “I wonder if Victor and Tammy would know Chinese, if they could ask the person the words and just write them, without waiting. Or would that be cheating?”)
5-Mark/Michael choose Choreography

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Margie/Luke
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Jaime/Cara
5- Mark/Michael

Teams are then instructed to race on foot to the view of the Moon and Sun Pagodas on Banyan Lake. This will be the ninth PIT STOP for this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in here MAY be eliminated! (Or probably will be.)

Teams check in at the PIT STOP (Toyouke: “Who are these locals? Why do they get to have lunch?“) in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen – who win a trip for two to Barbados.
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Margie/Luke
4- Jaime/Cara
5- Mark/Michael

Oh, and NOT the most memorable Pit Stop ever. Actually, for me, very yawn worthy. My most memorable is TAR3, Leg 4, Torre de Bélem, Portugal, when Heather and Eve take a taxi to the pit stop instead of walking and incur a 30 minute penalty that moves them from first to last. Awesome. Major fight about being deaf and black and everything else? Not awesome.

However, the Stuntmen have run out of steam and are eliminated. Great.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Kisha/Jen
2nd – Tammy/Victor
3rd – Margie/Luke
4th – Jaime/Cara

Next week: Still in China, teams get a Chinese foot massage. And Jen is afraid of water. (Auburnium513: “Fear of water? WTF?” Toyouke: “Yeah, there have been lots of boats and fishing and whatnot. Where did that come from?”) Until next time! Clicky clicky

TAR14, Recap Leg 8, 4/12/09

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on If You Can’t Open The Right Medicine Box, Just Phuket, teams raced from Jaipur, India, to Phuket, Thailand where teams had elephants walk all over them. Jaime loses her cool at the Herb Shop, and the Stuntmen racked up two penalties bouncing them from first to third. After Margie passed out at the pit stop, Mel and Mike finished last and were eliminated. Sad times. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Tammy/Victor, Team Asian, arrived at 9:27 AM
2nd – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerleaders, arrived at 12:31 PM
3rd – Mark/Michael, The Stuntmen, arrived at 12:46 PM
4th – Margie/Luke, Team ASL, arrived at 12:53 PM
5th – Kisha/Jen, The Athletes, arrived at 1:05 PM

Wat Thep Nimit, Phuket, Thailand

9:27 PM Tammy/Victor (1st)
Clue: Fly 400 miles to Bangkok, Thailand! Teams should then take a taxi to a boat yard on the outskirts of town to find their next clue.

Now, I KNOW at the end of the last episode that Mark and Michael only had an hour penalty and Tammy and Victor finished within that hour, so this time makes absolutely no sense. I am smarter than you think, CBS.

12:31 AM Jaime/Cara (2nd) – (Toyouke: “Why would you go on the Amazing Race when you are frustrated by the language barrier?”)
12:46 AM Mark/Michael (3rd) – Mark: “We should do fine as long as we don't shoot ourselves in the foot." (Toyouke: “Heh.”)
12:53 AM Margie/Luke (4th)
1:05 AM Kisha/Jen (5th)

Teams arrive at Phuket International Airport in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Mark/Michael
4- Margie/Luke
5- Kisha/Jen

Teams all end up on the same flight from Phuket to Bangkok.

Teams exit the airplane and grab taxis in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Jaime/Cara – and Jaime calls dogs “doogies”. I don’t know why.
4- Tammy/Victor
5- Mark/Michael

Teams take their taxis through traffic to the boat yard in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Mark/Michael
5- Kisha/Jen

And teams arrive at the seventh roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
“Who’s ready to propel their team forward?”
In this roadblock, one team member must join a rod and propeller to a long boat in order to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Interesting Roadblock. It's about time there was a non-physical one.”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Margie
2- Jaime
3- Victor
4- Mark
5- Kisha

Teams finish the roadblock in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Mark/Michael
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Tammy/Victor

Teams are then told to navigate their boats using the provided map through the Bangkok Canals in order to get to Peninsula Pier. Teams navigate and arrive at the pier in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jaime/Cara – who have their bags at this point, because Cara made sure that Jaime went and picked them up. Note that ALL the other teams were around when they did this.
3- Mark/Michael – who leave their bags in their taxi at the pier.
4- Kisha/Jen – who leave their bags, Amazing Fanny Pack AND Kisha’s shoes at the pier.
5- Tammy/Victor

And teams get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Broken Teeth OR Broken Records
*Broken Teeth: Teams travel to what is known as the “Street of Happy Smiles.” Once there, teams must find five pairs of matching dentures in buckets of 50. Once the five people have their correct dentures, the dentist will give teams their next clue.
*Broken Records: Teams travel to Chinatown and find the parking lot with the Party Taxis. Teams then will be driven a 5 mile course with three locals while singing a Thai pop song.

1-Margie/Luke choose Broken Teeth – Margie: “We choose Broken Teeth because I can’t sing, and Luke REALLY can’t sing.”
2-Kisha/Jen choose Broken Records – Jen: “First, are those transvestites? *ding* and second, WHY are they in the car?”
3-Jaime/Cara choose Broken Records
4-Tammy/Victor choose Broken Records – Tammy: “It’s the Mai Tai Trannies!”
5-Mark/Michael choose Broken Records – Michael: “We know how to please the girls.” Um, those aren’t girls. Oh, and they decided to go and get their taxi from the boat yard first so that they could have their stuff. And they gave the taxi driver personal possessions as payment. Um, NOT good.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke – Margie completes the detour herself. (Toyouke: “Margie kicks ass.”)
2- Kisha/Jen – who somehow get a taxi for no money, which is pretty impressive. Way to finagle the taxi driver!
3- Jaime/Cara
4- Tammy/Victor
5- Mark/Michael – Mark: “I give you gifts.” Again?


Teams are then instructed to race to Phya Thai Palace. This will be the eighth PIT STOP for this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in here MAY be eliminated!

Teams check in at the PIT STOP in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke – who win a trip for two to Puerto Rico. Margie: “I’m NOT going to faint today!”
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Tammy/Victor – who actually arrived fourth, but a certain team had to go get their travel documents, since they left them in their Amazing Fanny Packs. Right Kisha and Jen?
4- Kisha/Jen – who get their travel documents and arrive fifth, but are not eliminated because someone screwed up even worse.
5- Mark/Michael – who have a FOUR hour penalty for giving up personal possessions twice to settle a debt.

However, the Stuntmen find out that this is the second non-elimination leg and will have to complete a speed bump in the next leg of the race as well as the remining three hours of their four hour penalty. Why couldn’t the non-elim have been LAST week?

ORDER NOW:
1st – Margie/Luke
2nd – Jaime/Cara
3rd – Tammy/Victor
4th – Kisha/Jen
5th – Mark/Michael

Next week: In China, it’s the clash of the titans! Jen vs. Luke! Luke vs. Jen! And the claws really come out this time. Until next time! Clicky clicky