Monday, February 11, 2008

Shut up, Andy Cohen

Look, I like Bravo reality shows. I wouldn't even have a blog if not for them. But I HATE Andy Cohen. HATE HATE HATE. I hate how he tries so desperately to be cool, I hate how he leads the reunion shows that are stupid to begin with. But for fuck's sake, I'm watching the "20 Most Outrageous Bravo Moments", and he's using props right now. A blouse and a fake syringe. PLUS as much as Probst makes it very clear which Survivors he likes and doesn't like, at least he does it in front of them. Here's Andy, in the sound studio, still insisting that Elia and Ilan shaved their heads after they got Cliff to hold Marcel down. And then implying that Marcel caused Betty to go off on him when she had already shown herself to be a shrieking harpy. Marcel can't defend himself. Laughing at Candice because she didn't know what "mediocrity" meant. I have news for you, Bravo. Continue to force Andy Cohen on us and we'll make ourselves heard. When real TV comes back on I'll have better things to watch than some old queen who doesn't have the balls to say things to people's faces.

P.S. The most outrageous Bravo moment is Andrae crying? Are you fucking kidding me? I loved it and all, but are you telling me that's the best you can do? Come on.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I found this post by searching for "hate Andy Cohen", because I want someone to commiserate with, and perhaps to join forces with, to make this scourge of a Bravo execu-lebrity go away. This man ruins all reunion shows for me, and generally fills me with an irrational rage.

How can he be so smug and so stupid and so smarmy all at once? And for the love of God, why did someone give him a show where he is allowed to opine on things other than reality shows? He has nothing to add to the public discourse, and is a total tool, and should not be allowed to cross his legs at camera level WHILE NOT WEARING SOCKS. Please, let all of us Andy Cohen haters unite and find a way to get rid of him.

Anonymous said...

I'm in - what can we do to get this cross-eyed buffoon off my guilty-pleasures network?

Anonymous said...

Andy Cohen must be STOPPED!

Anonymous said...

I caught my first episode of "Watch What Happens" and could not bear to finish it, as Andy is such a vapid, little TOOL. His attempts at humor and critiques of current events are so shallow and quite frankly, retarded.

I googled "I hate Andy Cohen" and I am so glad others find his personality so grating as well!

Anonymous said...

Try living in NYC where you actually see him about. He's obscene. I love Bravo. I hate Andy Cohen. A few notes to Andy: 1. Button your shirt. 2. Stop smiling so hard between lines that your face looks like a puckered ass. 3. Blot, powder, or something. You're sweating everywhere. 4. YOU ARE CORNY. Stop. Please. Really! PLEASE! 5. Your suit jackets are too long. 6. Whiten your teeth. The color is only have the problem. 7. Sit up in your chair. Nobody thinks you're sexy. Nobody thinks you're the gay Dean Martin. 8. Oh, nevermind, just shut up for good.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I found this site. I thought I was the only one that hates this douche. What he needs to do is stays behind cameras and produce or whatever he does in Bravo and not show his face or speak. Nobody cares what he has to say especially when he looks stupid everytime he talks or is listening to someone talk. Bravo has some good shows except anytime I see that stupid troll it pisses me off and I don't wana watch Bravo. By the way, he is not hot at all and he's stupid for thinking people actually would find him hot or sexy or watever.

Anonymous said...

WHY does NBC Universal indulge this jerk? He won't stop until the Bravo schedule is about him 24/7 (or he moves up to his own NBC show, which is entirely possible considering their bad programming moves). Somebody please put an end to this buffoonery!

Anonymous said...

Okay so I'm watching the housewives of NY reunion..and he's totally pissing me off. His job is to just listen and let each woman have the floor, but he keeps interrupting and calling out ppl on their lies...WTF SHUT UP ANDY! The cat fight is the best part and you can only participate IF YOU ARE A GIRL....SO STOP TRYING TO BE ONE! He's such a smart ass and you can tell that this grown-ass monkey is mean in real life. He talks back to all his guests on the show...I'm sorry I didn't know that Jerry Springer was reinvented in a salt n' pepper, cross-eyed wannabe woman! URGH! I am just so glad that I'm not the only one that can't stand this man/Shim whatever the hell he is!

Anonymous said...

Ugh, could not agree more with everyone here. HATE Andy Cohen. Are he and the douche who tapes voiceovers for upcoming Bravo Programs (Tuesday on Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!) related? Two things that bother me most:

1) His "we used to be poor and crash events back in the 80s" convo with Sarah Jessica Parker. Didn't she have this same fucking convo with Nathan Lane? What the hell?

2) Flirting with Albie Manzo on his show. He's not gay, douche. He doesn't want you. Same goes for Kelly Ripa's husband who you refer to as 'Daddy' on twitter.

NYC is not your playground. Go away.

Jake said...

So glad I'm not alone! I DESPISE ANDY COHEN!! He is ruining Bravo. I can't stand to look at his wonky wrinkled face or hear his queeny little voice. Why some people like him - or worse - find him attractive is completely beyond reason. I keep praying for him to get fired - or better yet, arrested for something so completely humiliating that he will disappear from public life forever.

AJ said...

Is this a petition? Where do I sign?

Anonymous said...

I am sick of the gay agenda being ram down the viewer's throat. We get it already your gay and proud. Let's move on. It also seems like he only wants the gay contestants to win on the Bravo shows? Boo Andy I thought you were better that that!

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! I haaaaateee him sooo much. He's not funny, unprofessional, talks like a blonde teenage girl, and all he talks or cares about is being a gay jew. Just SHUT UP.

Anonymous said...

I love the housewives shows but can't stand Andy Cohen. He does an ok job on the reunion shows but on he's own show he sucks.

kaedo123 said...

I liken Andy Cohen to the Budweiser representatives who sponsor "Bud Day" on Indian reservations. The Budweiser reps aren't responsible for the disproportionately high rate of alcoholism in Native American communities just as Andy Cohen's "Housewives" franchise is not responsible for the internalized patriarchy/misogyny that undermines women. However, both Budweiser and Cohen are guilty of exploiting already victimized communities for financial gain.

Cohen's exploitation, while less obvious, is equally pernicious. His "Housewives" franchise both benefits from and champions some of internalized patriarchy's/misogyny's most destructive elements: the idea that a woman's most valuable asset is her husband, her appearance, or her bank account and the belief that a woman's worst enemy is another woman.

In episode after episode, Cohen's franchise elevates this lack of power to dramatic effect. The women on Cohen's shows, like a majority of the female population, are unaware of the ways in which patriarchy/misogyny has subverted their power. They are like house slaves on a plantation, so subjugated by the institution of slavery they view the field slaves rather than the institution of slavery itself as the enemy.

Anonymous said...

i had a meeting with andy cohen. he is self important,a complete phony, dismissive, unnattractive and generally an asshole. i presented 5 ideas to him for shows that others had seen and loved. after presenting each idea, andy replied "i thought of that" dismissing all 5 concepts as his creative thinking...he is all about being seen with celebrities and trying desperately to be cool and one of them. his friendship with sarah jessica parker is deeply disturbing as i always thought of her as real and unpretentious. how she can be seen with this jerk is a visual assault. in addition i met a guy who interned on top chef las vegas. he was cute. he relayed that the cast and crew hated andy cohen and in additrion the poor guy was hit on by andy who asked if he would like a job at bravo. i thought the casting couch was dead.i have also been at parties wit him where as you are talking to him, he is glaring over your shoulder to see who more important there is for him to inflict himself upon. in conclusion, he is a total creep in person and i wish he would just disappear. i don't hate him...he's too pathetic to waste the energy on.

Anonymous said...

Please, someone, make him disappear. I cannot stand this person. He's not hot, not funny, I hate the way he tilts his head back and grins into the camera (camera also hates him btw)...why is he on my tv? Whenever I see him I change the channel.

Anonymous said...

Sooooo therapeutic seeing this thread.

But no one really mentioned his MOST annoying trait.

To me, it's that he's a painfully shy dork, who IMPOSES his shyness on us all. Like some life coach told him, "if you're naturally really shy and self conscious the BEST way to overcome that is to prove to yourself that you're the OPPOSITE of that, by being that way on TV"

He can't even say his own "Catch phrase" of "Caller what's your name and from where are you calling" without wincing in pain and self doubt.

No wonder he's drunk all the time on the show. Imagine how hideous he'd be sober?

He's like the male equivalent of Guiliana Rancic, a professional hater. Oh loooooooorrrrddddd