Top Chef 12/14/18--"Bourbon, Barrels, and Burgoo" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: 15 chefs went to Kentucky to try to win all the usual prizes from Bravo. The Quickfire at Churchill Downs had teams and not using knives after two minutes. The winners got tickets to the Derby, which is a nice prize actually. The Elimination Challenge made the teams compete against themselves at the usual “make small plates and stand at stations while random people walk around and try to be on TV” event. Brandon was sort of a villain, but compared to the master list of Top Chef villains like Ilan and John Tesar and so forth, he's basically harmless. Natalie won, with a ceviche/Vietnamese flavors mashup. Caitlin tried to make tomato cobbler with a biscuit top, which sounds amazing, but ended up soggy. (click for more)

On Last Chance Kitchen, Brother Luck and Carrie from the Colorado season and Jim from the Charleston season all made biscuits, along with Caitlin. No one really had time to make good biscuits, but Caitlin failed the most and was sent home.

Immediately after elimination everyone heads back to the mansion. Also a video montage recap of the episode we just watched. Well I guess it replaces a “Previously On” segment? Natalie reminds us she hasn't been cooking for 10 months so she's thrilled she's doing so well. Adrienne did not want to make this first impression, which is failed tortellini which lead to crappy pasta.

The next morning everyone wanders the grounds, because this house has an herb garden and plenty of land. The contestants find a note (which I think is from Padma?) telling them they each have their own little vegetable bed to grow things. That's really cool, actually. Although, are they going to have enough time to grow anything? There is a greenhouse with plants, but anything from seed wouldn't be done before they leave. They're only there like six weeks max. Everyone gets excited and starts planting. Eric is from New York City and is not confident about his green thumb. Michelle had a garden, with her grandmother who is a shaman.

After this lovely interlude, everyone goes to the Top Chef kitchen where Padma introduces Nilou Motamed. I just noticed that instead of real doors, the kitchen has half-height barn doors. Sigh. Anyway, Nilou Motamed is the editor of Food and Wine magazine. She tells them that Gail is always raving about Top Chef. Speaking of, here's a video of Gail explaining why she won't be around this season—she's “literally” days away from giving birth. That's too bad, I like Gail.

Quickfire challenge: 30 minutes to make a dish inspired by Gail's pregnancy cravings. Which are: red meat, spicy food, Asian food, Middle Eastern food, pasta. Basically everything? Someone better make some pickles. Padma and Nilou will pick the best two dishes, and then Nilou will take the prepped ingredients for those dishes, fly to Gail's house, and they'll make them so Gail can decide the final winner. Winner will get immunity, but you won't know who that is until tomorrow. Kelsey brags that she's the only woman on the show who has been pregnant and given birth (because Caitlin got eliminated). OK good for you. That doesn't mean you know what Gail wants.

Eric thinks HE has an advantage because his wife is currently pregnant. Listen, I don't think this is the hardest challenge. Gail said what she wanted, just make something that doesn't have raw fish or the other stuff pregnant women can't have. Like for example, someone hollers for wine. Everyone has to talk about not having kids yet. I'm not invested enough in these people yet. Lots of steak. David has a crush on Gail. Natalie is trying to make farro in the short time. See, plenty of the male chefs have kids. It's not like they have zero experience with pregnancy. Sara (I think) asks Eddie how he's doing, and he responds with a description of his dish. Heh. I mean we all know that's why they're all talking to each other, is producer-driven “casual” conversation for exposition. Natalie's farro isn't working. There's a lot of frantic plating.

Adrienne: Moroccan spiced New York strip steak with orange and Fresno chili sauce. Brian: “club cut” NY strip steak with wood roasted potatoes and spinach salad with blueberry yuzu vinaigrette. David: ribeye with corn chermoula and harissa red wine reduction. Chermoula is a Northern African marinade with garlic and cumin. Harissa is a chili paste, but I find it not as hot as expected. Delicious though. Eric: grilled skirt steak with housemade harissa, arugula salad, lime ginger slaw. Brandon: Korean BBQ bulgogi bowl with sushi rice and Brussels sprouts kimchi. Nini: Vietnamese braised pork with arugula grapefruit mint salad.

Pablo: curried beets with chermoula couscous and charred beet greens. Justin: beef tonkatsu with spicy Asian slaw. Tonkatsu just means it's breaded and fried. Eddie: za'atar crusted filet mignon with tomato emulsion and blistered tomatoes. Za'atar (which I had heard of but never really looked up) is hyssop and sumac. Natalie: strip steak marinated in gochujang, miso and sesame oil, with farro salad. Kevin: beef and pork meatball with white curry sauce. Kelsey: country ham with strawberry, ginger, jalapeno sauce, and fried prosciutto. She of course mentions how she just gave birth, and Padma asks how she feels having left her child at home. This makes Kelsey cry, and then Padma apologizes and comes over to give Kelsey a hug. Aww, that's so nice.

Pablo's dish was wet and mushy, and Natalie did undercook her farro. She knows. David cooked his steak perfectly, and Brandon (sigh) had a ton of flavor. So those two are up for immunity. They have to prep their dishes and write instructions, like a Blue Apron situation.

Elimination Challenge. Bourbon time! Field trip to the Maker's Mark distillery. Sara loves bourbon because I like her. Also “classic Kentucky cuisine” which is not explained. Then Padma just says she'll tell them the rest later and bails. Eddie says he watched Top Chef change Nick, but leaves out the part that I'm sure happened when the internet dumped on him for being a jerk. Sara moved back to Kentucky to open a restaurant with her mom. Aww.

Now there's a short commercial for Maker's Mark. Everyone gets a tour and a chance to dip bottles in wax and fail at that and then drink. And then a family-style dinner with just a ton of food. They specifically mention burgoo (stew like gumbo, the guy says it has to have at least 4 meats), fried catfish, sausage and biscuits, mutton BBQ, Benedictine (cucumber cream cheese spread that you make tea sandwiches with), frog legs, banana croquettes (take half a banana, cover it in Miracle Whip, roll it in peanuts) (!), rabbit and dumplings, soup beans, spoon bread, transparent pie (the filling is just eggs and sugar), and hoecakes. Amazing. Sara says it's wonderful to have a bunch of people who love food taste all the things that made you who you are. That's true. As everyone drinks, Brian interviews that he doesn't trust the situation. Brian, I know you're genre savvy and that's a good thing, but please show some kind of emotion.

Obviously Padma and some other guy show up with the knife block. Everyone has to “make [their] own mark” on Kentucky cuisine. Everyone draws knives to be put into two teams. Each chef is responsible for one family-style dish. $1500 per team, for 48 guests. 2.5 hours to prep and cook tomorrow. Also the winner gets $10,000.

The Black team seems to be Brandon, Pablo, Eric, Justin, Kelsey, Natalie, and Eddie. Pablo is going to make an Argentinian version of burgoo with one of his grandmother's recipes. Brandon claims rabbit and dumplings, and then asks Kelsey how to do southern dumplings. Eric mentions the “baked bananas”, except that every article I saw on the internet says banana croquettes aren't actually cooked. He wants maybe to do oranges? Brandon asks if that's too far from the traditional dish, and Kelsey basically says it's African, “which is the South”. I don't know. Eric I think is going for a Ghanaian dish, which is actually baked. Natalie says she can do pie, because she's got pastry experience. Eddie wants lamb, so Eric tries to get everyone to think about the budget. Most of it has to go to Pablo's burgoo and the lamb, because those are where all the proteins are. Eddie is making lamb, potatoes and bananas? Sure.

OK so Red team is Sara, Michelle, Nini, Kevin, Adrienne, David, and Brian. They are also thinking lamb, but David has an ambitious plan for 2.5 hours. He thinks he can do it. Nini also says he's going to suck up all their money. Kevin wants to deep fry the bananas and not have mayo but have peanut butter miso instead. That sounds much better. Michelle (I think, she's said like three sentences this season) wants to do a Spanish style Benedictine, but Sara insists she can do Benedictine “like it's no big deal”. Brian claims sausage and biscuits, and Sara demands he be “100% on your biscuits” because she is 100% on her biscuits. You can't claim everything, Sara. She interviews that she will not lose on the Kentucky challenge, so she's making sure everyone knows what they're doing. Nini can do burgoo, but then Sara interrupts and says she does a vegetarian burgoo, and she does it very well. Dammit, Sara, I liked you but you need to stop. You are making one dish, so shut up and claim one and let everyone else do something. Nini becomes my new favorite because she calls Sara on this, asking if that's what she wants. Sara is like “not really” so Nini insists she pick something, because she can't do everything. I mean if you don't want to make your vegetarian burgoo then don't bring it up. I think Sara ends up with soup beans, and they edit it so it looks like she mentions she does good soup beans, and then Nini immediately said “OK that's what you're making! We're done here.”

Off to New York to see Gail and cook things. The food still looks good. Gail of course likes everything. I am going to miss Gail this season.

Shopping time. Brian's team wisely gave him a list for everyone's protein so there's only one person up at the counter. Meanwhile everyone else runs around and says foreshadow-y things about having enough money. Eddie claims he told his team he'd need $250-$300 and his “half-assed” math tells him he's fine. Even though they didn't have lamb loin so he had to get rack of lamb which is more expensive. His math is truly half-assed because when they get up to the checkout the lamb comes to $540—over a third of the budget. They only have a minute to figure out what to cut or how to get under budget. Natalie is trying to get lemons for her dessert. Brandon asks if she can stretch it, and then when she says she can, immediately says “Well not that far because it has to taste fucking good.” Brandon doesn't think a lot before he speaks, it seems like. Eddie, to his credit, looks like he feels terrible. Red team overhears them and starts trimming their groceries before they even get up there out of panic. There are like two shopping carts full of things. Black team has no vanilla. Someone says they should put all their rejected items back on the shelves, but I'm sure they didn't. Eddie is telling his car he panicked and didn't mean to screw them. He does feel terrible and knows if they lose it's probably his fault.

Cooking time. It is 91 degrees (that's like 33 Celsius) with like 90% humidity and they're all outside. Nini is making spoonbread with shrimp etouffee. Yum. Pablo wasn't able to get any spices or herbs for his burgoo because of Eddie. Eddie, meanwhile, seems to be running around offering to help everyone. So remember how everyone pressured Natalie into giving up lemons? Apparently other people also want to use lemons and she's trying to be a team player. OK that's just dumb. Eric is making a citrus marmalade, FFS. You should have all recognized that multiple people were using lemons and left them in. She's forced to borrow from Kelsey because she can't make pie for 48 people with three lemons. You can't blame that nonsense on Eddie. That's a whole team failure. Adrienne is making Vietnamese cabbage slaw and pepper jelly and catfish to redeem herself from the last challenge. Sara is making soup beans and chow chow, which is a green tomato salsa-type thing. Eric can't find his oranges for his marmalade, and it's not clear if he actually bought them and they're lost, or they got cut and he forgot. He's also complaining that he doesn't have enough (after forcing Natalie to go begging for lemons). It's not clear what happens next, because the camera is following Eric around, but suddenly a shelf falls out of the oven? Off a counter? I don't think Eric knocked it, but it's not clear. Anyway, that's all of Justin's corn for his hoecakes so he's pissed. He's got maybe two cups that didn't fall on the floor, because of course he's roasting it all at once and there's no backup. Why would there be?

Kelsey whines about chaos but then yells at everyone to say how they're doing. Justin is still mad. Brandon is making biscuits but then boiling them so they're dumplings? I've never made dumplings before so I don't know. Brian is half an hour behind. Nini practically begs him to tell her the dumpling recipe so she can make them and help him. Plating starts, so thank God it's family-style. Natalie has to pitch her Chantilly cream because it's too hot outside. Also her curd is melting. Eddie rushes to help her. Guests arrive outside, and they're all in the shade. Well, the important people are in the shade. I know I want to be on this show really badly, but if you told me that in order to do so I'd have to sit outside in 90 degree heat, IN THE SUN, you can go fuck yourself. As time is up, Kelsey gives one final demand to her team that they turn their aprons around because they look like hobos. She's got a point but her bossiness just bugs me. But Nini's doesn't for some reason. I don't know.

Black team is up first. Natalie: cornmeal fried catfish, green goddess dressing, pickled cucumber and chow chow. In the display plate shot, they've put all the pickles in a mason jar for maximum hipsterness. Justin: roasted corn hoecakes with bourbon bacon gastrique and smoked chili butter. Brandon: roasted garlic confit chicken wing, spring vegetables and biscuit dumpling. Pablo: Argentinian locro burgoo with ham hocks, short ribs, seared sausage, chili drizzle. Locro is basically what burgoo is, stew with corn and meats. Eddie: bourbon cured lamb with sweet potato puree, Kentucky-style black BBQ sauce, crispy corn. He says it's a grilled lamb loin, except the whole point of all the drama this episode is that it's NOT loin. Everything I've found says that those are two different cuts. Eric: bruleed bananas Gabon with Meyer lemon and blood orange marmalade. Natalie: Meyer lemon curd pie with mascarpone and bourbon glaze. Oh, Natalie. It looks like flat crepes. They do like Eddie's lamb, because it's the only thing well seasoned. Well, that's what Tom says. Padma argues that she likes the stew, but Tom and some other guy practically roll their eyes and tell her it's terrible. Kelsey's jars are cute but the catfish is dry. Brandon's dumplings are dry and a travesty. The hoecakes are good, as are the bananas. But Natalie's dish doesn't have enough lemon and her crust didn't cook. Or at least, suffered from the heat.

At the absolute last second, Brian grabs something bare-handed off the stove and flings it over his dishes. Brian: chicken and pork boudin blanc with biscuit dough dumplings in brodo. Boudin blanc is a French white sausage. Brodo just means broth. David: Worcestershire sweet and sour glazed lamb with old fashioned Swiss chard. Michelle: ham and cheese tartine with truffled honey. Has Michelle had ANY screen time? Seriously. Sara: burnt cabbage with soup beans and country ham chow chow. Kevin: deep fried banana with candied pecans and peanut butter mayonnaise. Adrienne: cornmeal fried catfish with Vietnamese red cabbage salad and ginger pepper jelly. Nini: spoonbread with shrimp etouffee sauce. The spoonbread is delicious, as is Adrienne's cabbage. Thankfully Sara did a good job, and they all nod when Padma says she's from here. Michelle's tartine is not really a Benedictine. Brian's sausage isn't that great but Tom says the sauce is fine. David's lamb tasted like bourbon? But maybe wasn't cooked as well as Eddie's lamb. Also somehow peanut butter mayo is not terrible?

Later in the Stew Room the two teams compare shopping trips, so that the Black team can learn that the Red team did not screw themselves on their budget. They claim to have gotten everything and no one was missing anything they wanted. Oops. Eddie apologizes again and then everyone calls him “Eddie Money” and laughs.

Judges' Table. First, though, we find out that Gail picked David as the Quickfire winner. Obviously Red team wins. Eddie looks like he might start crying. Nini actually is crying. They loved that she brought her own New Orleans background into the dish. David's lamb was great and umami-loaded, and the flavors worked together. Adrienne's cabbage slaw was delicious, as was Sara's chow chow. Kevin made something weird but delicious, and Tom laughs that Padma is really a carnie at heart. Heh. The winner is Nini! She's thrilled that they understood where she was coming from.

Eddie is OK if he goes home but he also feels like he's to blame no matter who goes home. Black team had serious seasoning issues. So unless they had to buy salt at Whole Foods, that's not something Eddie caused. Brandon tells the judges the hardest part was running overbudget. Eddie speaks up and says it's his fault, and explains about the lamb. The lamb was perfectly done, though, and the judges tell him he might have had the best dish. Tom asks if anyone feels like they got screwed on the budget, and Eric raises his hand. Natalie kind of nods too. Justin pipes up that they all made sacrifices, I think in some kind of noble attempt to make Eddie feel better. Eric wanted more oranges for the marmalade, but the judges explain that it was fine. Justin's dish was “flavor-forward” so he breathes a sigh of relief. Pablo's stew never developed any flavor and was bland. He says he couldn't get the spices he needed. Natalie knows her curd needed more lemons, but she had to share them. She also knows she didn't adjust her crust for the heat and that didn't turn out. Kelsey's presentation with the jar and whatever was “dramatic” but then the dish itself needed more flavor. Brandon's dumplings were raw and dry in the center. Also the chicken wasn't tender enough.

So OK, some of those things are budget issues, but some of them were execution failures. The budget doesn't cause undercooked dumplings. Meanwhile Kelsey is telling everyone in the Stew Room that the things that got left out were crucial to other people's dishes. I don't think your blandness is because of that. The bottom three are Pablo, Brandon, and Natalie. Aww. None of the dishes had enough personality. Pablo couldn't possibly make that stew in two hours to have enough depth. Brandon's dish was a weak link; nothing was made properly. Brandon, of course, is proud of his dish. Natalie's lemon curd didn't taste like lemon and her crust really failed. Brandon is busy telling Natalie her flavor was spot on. I can't get behind him as a villain because he just seems incompetent. Like, he just says whatever pops into his head, whether or not it makes sense or is nice or relevant.

The bottom three just didn't have spirit. Natalie is sent home. Wow. Has anyone won the first Elimination challenge and gone first to worst? I thought she was going to go much farther! She seems in pretty good spirits, but her team seems more upset. She's now gotten the motivation to get back in the kitchen. “When life gives you lemons, ask for more.” Hee.

Next week: fake Christmas time, dirty Santa, Eric Ripert, what looks like a surprise dessert challenge.

Last Chance Kitchen: Natalie knows she made some poor decisions, but also that some of them were out of her control. Tom explains how she needs to beat the vets. And then he tells them that she won the first Elimination challenge. We get a montage about how she didn't have enough lemons. She was too nice. Caitlin helps wheel in a cart with a ton of lemons, and Tom says they have to make a lemon dish but they can only have one lemon each. Of course.

30 minutes. Brother Luck says he's going to treat this like you'd treat a pig, with a nose-to-tail approach. He's making some salmon. Carrie has pork tenderloin and she's going to char her lemon. Jim doesn't want to come in last, so he's got several preparations. Brother Luck is doing a gel, and then we discover Jim also has salmon. Natalie is grilling vegetables. Caitlin hollers that Natalie is a beast, and then says “I'm getting in their head for you Natalie.” I love the peanut gallery.

Tom Time. Natalie is doing basically a side dish, but she explains how she didn't want to hide the lemons under anything. Jim has a million things and he's decided to burn the pith to make it less bitter. Tom says “Burnt Pith” should be his stage name. Ha! Brother Luck is sweating a lot and when Tom asks if he has time to do a gel, he says it's already in the blast chiller because he's not a rookie. Heh. Carrie is grilling half a lemon and making a sauce with the other half.

Halfway through and Tom and Caitlin are chit chatting. Brother Luck puts lemon zest in his tartare. Caitlin asks Tom what he'd be better at, Quickfires or Eliminations. Or this. Tom doesn't know but he does know that he's too old for any of it.

Natalie: grilled asparagus (they were enormous purple asparagus the size of carrots), Brussels sprouts and peas with burnt miso and lemon sauce. There are supremes in there too. Jim: salmon crudo with lemon and Brussels sprouts salad. Some preserves in there too, which he points out for Tom. Brother Luck: salmon tartare with lemon fluid gel and melon salad. Carrie: pork tenderloin with grilled lemon, lemon beurre blanc and arugula salad. That pork looks really rare. I know you can eat pork at a medium, but it looks rare. Tom cuts some pork and then cuts a big piece of the grilled lemon and eats it. Everyone freaks out because she had intended for him to just squeeze the juice out.

Everyone embraced the challenge, but Tom's favorite was Carrie. Also the lemon was delicious. Hee. Now she's going to put grilled lemons on the menu. Second place is Brother Luck. Natalie's dish was fresh, and Jim's salad had a good texture. The one dish he liked least, he felt there was a missed opportunity. Jim loses. Because he also made salmon tartare, and Brother Luck mixed zest into the fish, Tom wishes Jim had done the same. Jim is kind of upset but he at least learned he loves to compete. It's not his day. Natalie made it and took out a veteran so she feels pretty good.