Thursday, March 8, 2018

Project Runway All Stars 3/8/18--"Posen on the Red Carpet" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: everyone must be “inspired” by Isaac and work in color. I actually don't think they were supposed to copy Isaac so much as they wanted to advertise the exhibit he had at the Jewish Museum. Helen made some tricky pants, but was defeated by Stanley and his off the shoulder top and weird hip peplum that he made. I didn't like that peplum thing because even though it was under the skirt and not visible, it made a weird line in the skirt. Merline was finally sent home for making weird folded garments in fabrics that cannot be folded properly. (click for more)

Yet another field trip. This time to visit Zac Posen's showroom. Alyssa is wearing a cool print, but the dress is a trapeze dress and she looks pregnant again. I think Alyssa is just too short to wear loose dresses? I don't know. Today's challenge is to make a “red carpet look” that showcases their signature technique. When everyone sees the design they should know it's yours. One day and they will be judged on the quality of the technique. So make sure it's obvious. Also Anne has better things to do so they'll be mentoring each other! That is some horseshit. You know damn well Anne isn't busy. Either they know she sucks and they told her to get lost this week, or they want everyone to mentor each other because they want someone (my money is on Helen) to be butthurt about their critique and start a fight. Alyssa reminds them all to be constructive. Both Anthony and Ken are like, I'm not giving anyone great advice so they can beat me. The winner will get to be the “leading designer” for the star of a Lifetime movie. Ken thinks this will put you on the map. Oh honey. Only if you want a career dressing stars of Lifetime movies.

The tour of Zac's workroom is actually cool, because it's full of dresses and structural pieces and the fabric he's allowing them to use for their stuff. Probably much more expensive than whatever they could get from Mood. Stanley won last week so he gets first dibs. They're picking out fabric before sketching so it's a little odd. Stanley says his signature technique is tailoring. Isn't that a thing that everyone does? Tailor clothes? Helen's technique is corsetry. She's also doing colorblocking, I guess. Edward does ruffles and wants to do a big rose blossom a la Ven. Y'all remember Ven. Anthony wants to do sculpting. Josh claims his technique is pintucking. I think this is when you make tiny pleats and then sew them? So it makes little ridges? I'm not sure this is Josh's “signature” technique but I AM sure that you can spot Josh's looks from a mile away. He brags that the other designers don't even know what pintucking is.

Back in the workroom Josh claims a sewing machine. Are there few enough of them for each to have their own machine? Ken is also sculpting like Anthony is doing. Fabio is pleating. He says a lot of people here do gowns all the time, but maybe they'll get complacent and fail. Edward decides his fabric wants to drape so he might change his design. Anthony is cutting corners. I don't know if this is bad or not. Ken is spending a lot of time messing with fabric instead of actually doing anything. He needs his fabric to be heavier so he can sculpt it. Anthony gives him a hug.

Josh spends a lot of time sewing his muslin, to make sure things will look good. But it won't transfer so how much time is that wasting. Helen interviews that that's why usually people just buy fabric that is pintucked. No one understands how they are supposed to critique each other, but someone gave the button bag to Josh. Sigh.

Stanley picks Anthony's button, and Anthony shrieks loudly. Then Stanley goes into Tim Gunn mode. Anthony talks about how his dress has only one seam and some shapes to hug the model's curves. Stanley then casually mentions how Anthony was in the bottom last week, and then Anthony fires back with how when that happened he thought about how Stanley was in the bottom that time? And then won? So surely there is nowhere to go but up. Hee. That felt like two friends giving each other shit and not a catty fight. Now Anthony has to critique Josh. He tells us Josh's aesthetic is for his model to be naked and “some level of streetwalker”. Anthony then is actually helpful, pointing out that since the fabric is two-toned Josh can colorblock as well. Anthony is such a smartass that Josh doesn't know whether he should trust him and so in the end feels he's had no critique. Oh, like you'd listen anyway.

Poor Ken is stuck with Josh as mentor. Ken basically ignores Josh, and I don't know what Josh was trying to say away. Ken heads to Fabio, who is so nice and says Ken has a great eye for construction and will be very helpful. Lots of pleats and hand stitching. Ken likes it but then in confessional says it's ugly? Edward gets Fabio's advice to fold some stuff under to have finished edges. Fabio is the best. Edward has to deal with Helen, who interviews that she doesn't want him because she doesn't “get” his aesthetic. Then she has absolutely nothing to show him anyway, so whatever. We all know she wasn't going to listen to anyone anyway. As Helen goes to mentor Stanley, Fabio and Anthony are not even pretending they're not listening. Fabio says that Stanley is an experienced designer so they can't imagine anyone mentoring him. No, I'm sure it's because Helen. Because Helen is telling him maybe don't do the skirt to the floor, maybe show the shoe. Oo, no. Floor length or knee length. Or I guess you could do that stupid midi length. Anthony whispers “nooooo” and he and Ken shake their heads and make faces. Alyssa and Georgina hate seeing the shoe. Helen knows everyone is staring at them, and she interviews that she knows they're all expecting a fight. Then she says “I mean it's a competition, who's to say what I'm telling Stanley is to his advantage?” This is why everyone hates you, Helen.

Model fittings. Ken is redoing some darts on his top because he doesn't have time to make a whole new top. Josh has nothing to try on his model, and brags that he can finish his look in 2.5 hours tomorrow. Well that's a waste of time but whatever. Josh is now saying he has to start the skirt tonight or he won't have time. There is a lot of working and people who have a lot of work to do.

Runway Day. Josh is whining that you can't do an evening wear challenge in ten hours. What happened to “I can finish tomorrow so it's not important I'm not fitting anything.”? He is just constantly whinging about sticking himself. Helen humblebrags that she was going to cut corners but she never cuts corners so now she's suffering because she refuses to cut corners. Hot makeup guy Scott. Josh manages to finish, and Ken describes his dress as “this woman who just divorced her husband and she sneaks into her daughter's room to steal this dress to go to the club and find some man to have sex with.” Hee.

OK now Alyssa is wearing cropped palazzo pants. Someone fire her stylist. Guest judges are Zac and Rosie Perez. Stanley: strapless red gown with two criss-crossing straps over her shoulders. The skirt is fitted to below her hips and then flares out, but it doesn't look too tight or like a mermaid gown. The top does accentuate how flat the model is, though. And I don't think he listened to Helen about the length. Helen: strapless dark red gown with different panels. I can't tell if she reversed the fabric or what, but some panels are shiny and some are matte, but they're both the same color. It seems a little tight, or that could be the fact that the seams are puckered so it looks like the fabric is pulling. Shiny fabric is really unforgiving and it doesn't look as good as Stanley's did. Edward: the gown is not very full, but it's not as tight as Helen's was. The bodice is completely covered in a giant ruffled flower. It actually looks pretty well done and is more 3-D than Ven's weird origami stuff was. It's a good red carpet look. Anthony: strapless gown in a powder blue. I'm not sure if it's draped or poorly fitted, but it looks weirdly loose around her hips and stomach. The top of the bodice is squared off and you can tell it's standing up on it's own. Down the back are two stiff ruffles that stick out from the model like fins on a car. I like them, I am just not sold on the fit on the rest of the dress. It's not far enough to look like it's on purpose, you know?

Josh: the gown is red and hot pink, and the skirt is a mermaid skirt crossed with a mullet hem. It's tight but the bottom quarter of it is a ton of ruffles, and in the front you can see all of her shoes, but it touches the ground in the back. The top looks like two panels of the pintucking, so vertical lines, that are tacked together in one spot. That bodice doesn't fit well at all and then there are wings? Fins? Some pointy parts that stick up over her shoulders. There's no back to it either so he spent all that time on just the front of the bodice. Fabio: loose gown in a dark gray/blue color. He says there's pleating, but I'm not sure where? The skirt, I guess, but it's so loose and flowing it's hard to tell. There's more fabric tacked to the back of the dress like a cape, that sits on her shoulders and drapes over her arms a little bit. It's very regal. Ken: sleeveless red gown with a deep V. There's a bunch of fabric over one hip that I think is supposed to be sculptural, but instead it just looks like a lump of fabric. It's not as bad as Merline's sewn together ruffles or anything, but it is kind of heavy.

Helen is safe. I guess. She should have gotten clocked for those shit seams though. Fabio's dress does have pleats around her shoulders, that look good. Isaac thinks it's what everyone will be wearing in a year or two. It's different, and of course everyone knew it was his. Ken talks about fusing the fabric so he could sculpt with it. The bunch of fabric is pulling at the tailoring, and they point out the neckline is not flat. It's not fitted perfectly. Zac says it doesn't feel finished. Stanley used foam to create a curve on the bottom of the skirt so it looks good walking. It's a good dress, but Georgina complains that it's so simple and this is a design competition. Rosie points out that no one with any chest can wear it. But it does look expensive.

Josh talks about pintucking. Isaac likes the two colors, but the pleated accordion top with the sleek skirt with a burst of ruffles make it look like two different garments. And the mullet hem doesn't help, because mullet hems are dumb. Alyssa doesn't know if she likes it or not, but if they're judging based on the challenge (like they ever do that, good one Alyssa) then the pintucking is great. Don't come up with some nonsense like that to keep Josh's tacky ass in. Sadly there is no more arguing. Anthony loved the fabric he found. Isaac loves the color and the ruffles are lovely and light. Zac says it's not groundbreaking but it's classic. Rosie says a bunch of adjectives and then says her breasts would look GREAT in this dress. Ha! Edward wanted something eyecatching. The skirt on his dress is a brocade with a subtle pattern, and it might have looked better with the same fabric as the rose. Isaac thinks somehow the finishing on the rose makes it look cheap. Alyssa tells him it looks like a throw pillow. I've seen those throw pillows. Plus there's an exposed zipper and this is not a dress that should have one.

In the Scrap Bin, Helen insists on guessing who was the top and bottom. “but no one get offended.” Helen, you need to stop. She guesses right, and then Stanley says he's in good company. Josh takes offense and says “We all worked our asses off!” I swear during the first model fitting he was cocky as shit about how he could finish his dress on Runway Day. Did I imagine that? Stanley says no shade, that's how he feels, and then Helen pipes up that it was a little shady, like, stay in your lane Helen. This is why no one likes you. Stanley was not insulting anyone, and I don't think he was. This will sound terrible, but Stanley is too boring to throw shade at people. He is too boring to start drama. Josh continues to insist this comment was insulting and Stanley abruptly says he's not playing this game and shuts down. See? No one who is throwing shade will actually stop talking when they say “I'm over it.”

The judges discuss how Stanley's dress was lovely but maybe too boring for a design competition. Anthony's dress was so glamorous and well-planned. As in, every drape had a purpose. Fabio's look was very Fabio and stayed true to him. It was so different Isaac wonders if they should reward him for that. Ken's look was just bunched and didn't look like it was on purpose. Zac wonders why you would go for a stretchy jacquard fabric with all the choice you had. Josh has a problem with taste. Alyssa still insists that he did a good job with his technique. Why are you up his ass, Alyssa? Zac points out it's not how hard you work, but what you end up with. Take that, JOSH. Edmond has had a bunch of off weeks. No one liked the giant ruffle rose.

Stanley is in. The winner is Anthony. He shrieks again. He's very thrilled to design for a Lifetime movie which is somehow unsurprising. Fabio is in. Ken is in. Josh is out. OUT. Edmond is in. OMG I just noticed Josh is wearing a leather blazer, a white undershirt, black city shorts, and white high heeled ankle boots. His own outfit would get clocked for how tacky it is. Somehow not surprising. He claims he's tough and can take it. Sure. The other designers give him shit about the boots, and he leaves and gives them advice. No one cares. Anthony says something about chiclet rainbows from the shoes, and then Ken says “ding dong” and Anthony finishes “the witch is dead.” BYE.

Next time: stagewear, which Alyssa is careful to say All-Stars has never done, even though the regular show has done it several times. I'm sure there'll be some dumb nonsense from somewhere.

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