Thursday, August 20, 2015

Project Runway 8/20/15--"Shut Up and Sew" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the unconventional materials challenge happened and it was about greeting cards. Edmond made a dress that looked like anything Leanne would have made for her finale collection (also no one can figure out where he got such big pieces of paper) and he won. Blake was in the top even though he just took a muslin dress and covered it in glitter. But he is full of drama so I'm sure he'll be around for a while. David made a giant hoodie out of fabric and didn't use glitter so he is out. (click for more)

Not even an announcement about the field trip! Weak! Instead everyone just shows up to a cruise ship. Lots of ass kissing about how great this ship is. Whatever. Lisa is the president. They aren't paying me, I'm not kissing up to them. The challenge is that there are seven suitcases with “exotic” locations. They may be exotic but I will reserve judgment. With 14 designers that means pairs. UGH. Amanda whines that the greatest people could go down in flames and there are people she doesn't want to work with. Wah. Each team is responsible for one “high-end, day-to-night” look. The “day-to-night” thing is for days in the location, and nights on board the ship. The button bag appears for “random” selections. Amanda and Gabrielle (they pick South of France); Ashley and Candice (Venice); Lindsey and Jake (Hong Kong); Laurie and Swapnil (India); Kelly and Blake (Greek Isles); Edmond and Hanmiao (the Caribbean); and Joe and Merline (St. Petersburg). The only person to complain about their pairing is Joe, who is pissed. Also Amanda thinks since she and Gabrielle are similar that might be a problem, but then again it might be awesome. Inside each suitcase is fabric, and there is more in the workroom. So that is THREE episodes so far, and they have not yet been to Mood. They are sent to sketch and the cruise ship has provided lunch. They have one day, which means it's unlikely there will be a twist second look.

Ashley and Candice are both excited about their pairing. Ashley says if she was to go all black she'd dress like Candice. Gabrielle doesn't want to panic. Hanmiao knows she and Edmond have totally different styles so I think they're going to both sketch and then discuss. Lindsey seems astonished at all the red and gold she got when she picked Hong Kong, and suggests a kimono jacket. Before I can yell at her, Jake does it for me, pointing out that kimonos are Japanese and not Chinese and becoming my new favorite. Thanks Jake! Lindsey is just like, well a kimono is a style of jacket. Swapnil tries to not be “too” India, although they have something that looks close to a sari.

In the vans back to Parsons Joe tells Merline she's just always moving and singing and she makes him nervous. I think he means it in that “it sounds like I'm joking but I will cut you haha” way. Merline then interviews about how she wants to be with the cool kids? Or she did? But now she's herself? But maybe people are laughing at her? I have no idea what she's talking about but I think the end result is that she doesn't think she should shut up and stop bothering everyone else. Joe tells her she can dance at lunch breaks and so forth but she's not dancing and singing when they're working. Merline is laughing her ass off in the van, and then interviews that she doesn't want to disappoint Joe, so maybe she gets it. It's possible.

Tim tells them they have eight hours and stop whining because there are two of you and as far as he's concerned that means they have 16 hours. Blake takes two bolts of white and says Amanda came “straggling” along asking for fabric. I mean, you're allowed to hog fabric if you were faster than them, but at least own your shit, Mr. “I'm Adorable”. Amanda and Gabrielle decide that if they don't have stretch white fabric, they have to start their design all over. Lindsey complains that Jake is shooting down all her ideas without having other suggestions, and also calling her “darlin” and whatever. I think she's annoyed but she's still talking in kind of a monotone so who knows. Hanmiao is just picking at bolts of fabric and refusing to say anything to Edmond. He is really actually trying to encourage her to contribute, but she's just silent. Actually she asks why you need to design swimwear to go to the Caribbean because you can wear regular garments to the beach. I mean...I guess? Come on though. She demands structure, but that's not very beachy. They argue but compared to fights of the past I think Edmond is being really patient and Hanmiao is refusing to communicate. Well until she tells him to shut up. Sigh...I liked you. Edmond is like, fine, you do the top and I'll do the bottom. That probably won't make two pieces that go together but I'm not sure they can do any better. Ashley and Laurie are both pleased with their partners. Merline says she can't do anything, but at least she seems to respect that. Joe is taking over the pairing and telling Merline what to do. He explains how to drape, and Blake is like “how do you not know how to drape?” but some people don't drape. I don't like you, Blake, so be quiet. Candice points out the challenge was not to tame Merline.

Tim Time! Ashley and Candice are making a capelet. Edmond and Hanmiao downplay their fight, until Tim doesn't like their design because it's not day-to-night. However he DOES like Edmond's idea of a swimsuit and cover-up. Tim tells Hanmiao she looks disturbed, then reminds them Edmond has immunity and they should do what he wants because it's a good idea and they could win. OK so first of all, Tim has given shitty advice to both designers that have been eliminated, and second, even though I think Hanmiao was in the wrong in that argument it was weird that Tim didn't even seem to care about why she was upset. Joe and Merline get “mumsy” but they do have a weird lilac wrinkly fabric they are lining a cape with. Swapnil and Laurie seem to be fine. Kelly and Blake are making a jumpsuit because of course. Amanda and Gabrielle get approval. Lindsey is trying to use all the shiny fabric with gold accents they got stuck with. Jake is not having it because he is desperately trying not to be cliché. Lindsey whines that she doesn't get Jake's aesthetic, which is code for “I hate his style”. Tim encourages them to be cliché though.

Lindsey is telling Jake what to do, and he is taking offense that she is dumping things on him that he is “worthy” to do. Model fittings. Hanmiao is still bitching about the color of fabrics. I get that she should really push because if they are the lowest team she is going home. But I also think she's not giving any alternatives. Ashley is having pants fit problems but it seems like Candice is fixing it. Hanmiao is still asking Edmond to shut up, I guess because her silence is her thinking. He finally loses it and tells Hanmiao to make the swimsuit and defend it herself. But she's making it out of non-stretch cotton so I'm sure that's going to go well. Merline is asking a million questions about a cape so Joe is bitching that he can't make his own thing. Jake is bitching that Lindsey is going so far as to tell him how to cut the fabric and notch things. Is he that bad at sewing? I don't think he's that bad. Joe's look is all lilac and it's not good. Jake's revenge is apparently to be really slow and not be anywhere near done at the end of the day.

Commercial interlude: Laurie's daughter is super cute.

Runway day. Merline is upset in confessional that she can't be herself. I get wanting to design things but your dancing around is annoying to everyone. Jake's excuse for not doing anything or being really slow or whatever is that Lindsey is too exact and he wants things to be done her way so she's happy. She's too demanding so he gave up. I don't know if she was that bossy but it's possible. Ashley's pants don't look that good. Hanmiao's “swimsuit” doesn't look as terrible as I feared. Edmond warns her that if it's not a swimsuit (as she is declaring) then she needs to be able to tell the judges what it actually is. Hanmiao says something about “we” and Edmond is like, the time for “we” was yesterday and we talked about how there is no longer a “we”. Edmond is not speaking to Hanmiao, and he is so worried that she won't finish whatever she's doing he runs into the workroom and busts out a whole other swimsuit. What? How did you have time for that? Anyway, when Hanmiao comes back in she says she feels disrespected and disappointed and leaves. She sews the model into her garment in the bathroom, she says for privacy. When Edmond figures it out, he decides she was hiding from him so by the time he found them she would have sewn the model into the garment and it would be impossible for him to use his swimsuit. Can I just say I kind of have stopped caring? Like usually I would try to decide who was at fault and take a side but I'm kind of over both of them. Just pick an outfit and go to the runway so we can end this episode some day. I don't know why Edmond cares so much since he can't be sent home. Let Hanmiao use her garment even if you think it's terrible because you won't be penalized.

Guest judge is Tracy Ellis Ross. Laurie cries because she had a confessional in the beginning of the show saying how much she loves her. Candice and Ashley: big cape with a waist tie in a floral print that isn't very good. Under that are dark pink bell bottoms and a striped top. The pants are very wide but the crotch looks mostly OK. The top seems very poorly fitted from the front, because the back is a huge draped cowl that hangs down to her butt. It's very dramatic but that floral is not good. Swapnil and Laurie: the model comes out wrapped in a sheer navy fabric with a red print. Under this is a really cool crop top in reds and yellows, vertically striped, and what appear to be drop-waisted pants. Either they have a dropped crotch or she is wearing a diaper. The top and the sheer piece is great but those pants! Lindsey and Jake: OK first of all the model has a bun right on the top of her head and I'm slightly offended. Then there is a long knee-length vest in gold and green, and underneath a gold and red high-necked dress with darker red hot pants. Possibly the dark red is a miniskirt. The red and gold is sheer and has a long skirt and this whole thing is terrible. I know these fabrics are ones they got stuck with but this is ugly. The skirt is cut in such a way that they clearly meant for you to see the hot pants. Joe and Merline: lilac sheath dress, to the knee, with a capelet over one shoulder. The dress is as boring as possible, but the capelet is only over one shoulder, and is in a weird kind of shiny lilac fabric that looks textured. Joe thinks it's modern which is hilarious.

Hanmiao and Edmond: long yellow skirt, flowy, and underneath that a swimsuit in a red and black and yellow abstract print. The bikini is a bandeau top with one strap, and regular bottoms, and then they've wrapped colored straps around her waist for some reason. The colors are very bright but the swimsuit Edmond made last minute was pink and I don't think it would have gone as well with the yellow. Amanda and Gabrielle: black pants with an inset tuxedo stripe of a red, white, and blue print. The top is sleeveless with a scoop neck, and then from her boobs down it's voluminous. The hem goes from almost a crop top on one side, down to her knees on the other side, and is lined with the same print as the pants. It's very interesting and I do like it. The side draping almost looks like they just sewed some fabric to her hip. Blake and Kelly: white jumpsuit with a deep V and wide legs, but then like a cape? A train? Of blue and white fabric. I think the front and a little bit of the sides is white, and then the whole back of the jumpsuit is print. Maybe the print is wider than the white so it looks like a dress? But there are clearly legs? I don't know. It confuses me but not in a good way.

Also I'd like to point out that except for the cliché “Asian” fabric the Hong Kong team got, I'm not sure I could identify where any of these teams were supposed to be going or be inspired by or whatever, and also I have no idea how the day-to-night is supposed to work for any of them. So good job on having meaningful challenge rules.

Kelly and Blake are the only safe people. Candice and Ashley, and Swapnil and Laurie have high scores, but so do Jake and Lindsey. What? That cliched offensive nonsense? DAMMIT. Sigh, fine. High scores first. Candice talks about their outfit and that print still is ugly. Listen without the jacket it's actually nice. Tracy says the pant length is too short for heels but it's still great. I like Ashley so I'm not terribly upset. They refuse to pick a single winner. Laurie talks about the pants and how they worked so well together just like Ashley and Candice. Those pants still look terrible around her hips. But I like the top. Nina says the fabric choice was “effortless”, which is technically true since they had fabric picked out for them. Heidi does bring up the pants so that's good. Laurie admits to designing the pants. Laurie says Swapnil did the top and he should win. Lindsey tells the judges they were designing for a 35-year old who wanted “like the fantasy Hong Kong”. So, cultural appropriation then. I can't believe this shit is in the top. Lindsey then tells the judges she did all the work, and Jake backs up that this look is all Lindsey because she doesn't know how she dismisses ideas and he took a backseat because he was afraid they'd fight so much they wouldn't have anything to present. Lindsey fires back with how demeaning he is with the “sweetheart” and “sweetie” and he's slow. I get that he was annoying with that but you do have to try to tell him he's annoying, without saving it up to throw him under the bus. Not that that shit isn't annoying. Again, someone praises the fabric, which they had nothing to do with particularly. The judges sound terrible trying to praise the fabrics. They just needed three top and three bottoms and didn't want to reward Blake for some reason.

In the Scrap Bin, Lindsey tries to bitch about how little Jake did, but she's the one who volunteered all that about how little he did, so stop whining about it now. Edmond admits he and Hanmiao spent more time arguing than making clothes. It's not flattering. Heidi likes the print and Nina gives her a dirty look. Edmond says he does not support this at all, and Hanmiao fires back that he wasn't supposed to use any accessories. But I don't really see any on her? Nina just says it is HIDEOUS and WHY did it have to be a bathing suit? Because TIM told them to do it! His advice is apparently the kiss of death! And she hates the yellow. The skirt is not finished, and Edmond has to admit he made a second bathing suit without finishing the look they had mostly made. Joe says he sells to “matronly” and mature so that's how it is. Then he says he had to tell Merline how to make everything. The “cape” is like an afterthought. Yeah that thing is pointless. Nina calls it a “side-bib” and then they take the thing off and HOLY TITSCREPANCY. One side of the bodice looks normal and one is really huge and lumpy looking. No wonder they covered up one side with the capelet thing. It fits so poorly she might flash people. When asked who should go home, Merline babbles that they did so much work and they can't decide, and when Zac asks if they should both go she insists he's reading too much into that. Joe has no qualms about saying Merline should go home because his part of the design suffered because he had to help her so much with the cape. Merline swears that's not the story but as far as we saw it was. Gabrielle and Amanda seem bewildered. There are a lot of things going on, and there are stripes underneath her bust and it's asymmetrical and so much. But now we're done talking to them.

As soon as they get back to the Scrap Bin Merline is talking about how the bus ran her over and isn't it hilarious? Sigh. Ashley and Candice's jacket is still ugly but whatever. Watching the judges praise Lindsey's fabrics is so terrible. Swapnil's top is great. So when you see Gabrielle and Amanda's top up close, it looks unfinished. Like they were supposed to sew more of the side part to the back of the garment. So the judges decide there is something there. Tim does not say ONE WORD about how he told Edmond to make a swimsuit. Not one word. He in fact says he blames Edmond for making a shower curtain. OK but Nina specifically complained about making a swimsuit. Zac gets Joe's dress in front of him and he keeps picking at the part that is so poorly fitted.

Candice and Ashley are the winners! That jacket! Ugh, fine. Jake and Lindsey, and Laurie and Swapnil, are in. Gabrielle and Amanda are in. Edmond is in. Joe is in. Hanmiao is out. Merline is in. Hanmiao says she's not mad, just speechless. She knows she failed at working in a team and communication is the way to fix it. Uh huh. Edmond is grinning for some reason, hopefully just because she doesn't seem to hate him.

Next week: I don't even know because they go straight into the sound bites and frantic running around.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jake & Taylor: Nobody in Hong Kong under 70 will wear that kind of fabric. And it looks like waitress in Chinese Restaurant in Chinatown.If they made something in a Japanese style then it's way convincing than this.