TAR23, Recap Leg 1, 9/29/13

Welcome to Leg 1! We’re back to TAR after a hiatus, and it couldn’t come soon enough.  This time, we are traveling through Los Angeles.  For goodness sake, I know that LAX is a hub, but can we PLEASE start in a different city?  We only get to see the United States twice a season, since we (thankfully) do not do Family Edition anymore.  This time, teams are being driven by stagecoach to the Melody Ranch Motion Picture Studio.   (Toyouke: “Is it sad that even though this season is full of famewhores and I already hate this opening after 10 seconds, I'm still excited about this show?”)  The eleven teams are: (click for more)

Chester and Ephraim, AKA NFL Buddies, are former NFL teammates from Houston, Texas.  They were friends before they played next to each other, but their friendship got even stronger then.

Rowan and Shane, AKA The Queens of Bingo, are theatre performers from Charlotte, North Carolina.  They are in a show called The Queens of Bingo.  (Toyouke: “Just a thought guys, but if you're going to pretend to be poker players, maybe don't wear T-shirts that say "I LOVE BINGO".”)

Tim and Marie, AKA Team Pinkhair, formerly dated for five years and are from Morristown, New Jersey.  However, they still hang out.  Marie: “Your opinion is a waste of time. “  (Toyouke: “I dislike PinkHair already.”)

Leo and Jamal, AKA The Afghanimals, are cousins from southern California.  Their parents are originally from Afghanistan.  Jamal: “We’re Afghan, and we’re animals, so we’re calling ourselves the Afghanimals.”  Seriously?  In twenty-three seasons not one team has nicknamed themselves specifically for race purposes.  (Toyouke: “Again, not allowed to make up your own nickname.”)

Ally and Ashley, AKA NHL Ice Girls, are from Long Beach, California and are part of the LA Kings Ice Crew.  Ashley: “We clean ice.”  Ally: “And we’re not looking for love.”  (Toyouke: “My dad didn't believe me that hockey had cheerleaders.”)

Nicole and Travis, AKA Team Emergency, are married ER physicians from Atlanta, Georgia.  And that’s all I’ve got.  That could be a good sign.

Hoskote and Naina, AKA Team Arranged Marriage, are father and daughter team of Indian heritage.  Dad wants to arrange Naina’s marriage.

Tim and Danny, AKA Oklahoma Hicks, are friends and oil plant workers from Cordell, Oklahoma.  They work 70 to 90 hours a week.  Tim’s wife has major medical bills, and Danny has two daughters.

Brandon and Adam, AKA Naked Boys Unicycling, are childhood friends, and they like beards, being naked, and unicycling.  (Toyouke: "Oh NO. The bearded guys are hipsters?! I mean...unicycle!”)

Nicky and Kim, AKA MLB Wives, are wives of baseball players from the Midwest.  They have been friends for four years.  (Toyouke: "Why can't we have an all-female team that doesn't suck and irritate me on sight?”)

Jason and Amy, AKA Einstein YDC, are from New England.  Amy graduated high school at 16 and completed her bachelor’s degree in three years.  Jason is in snow and ice management.

The camera careens to Melody Ranch Motion Picture Studio where the teams run in and where Phil gives his standard speech.  There will be twelve legs, nine countries and 35000 miles.  As per usual, if they win the first leg they get the Express Pass.  But there is a bonus!  They get a second Express Pass to give to whomever they please by the fifth leg!  Oh, and the first team to finish will win ONE MILLION DOLLARS (US$1000000)!  Teams are now expected to go travel to South America.  They will grab their luggage and choose a Ford C-Max and use the Ford Sync system to make a phone call in to get their first clue.  Then oh so sexy Phil does his standard patter: “Ready?  The world is waiting for you.  Good luck, travel safe.  Cue Phil's eyebrow pop.  GO!”  Who will be eliminated . . . tonight?

Melody Ranch Motion Picture Studio, Santa Clarita, California, USA

Clue: Travel to Iquique, Chile!  First drive yourselves to Los Angeles International Airport and find the American Airlines counter to take one of two flights to Chile via Santiago.  One in Iquique, find Javier.

(Toyouke: “Please let Javier be in a crowded mall. Or! Chaotic streets and crowded marketplace!”)

 

Teams grab their bags and choose a vehicle.  Thus, the order of departure for the airport is:

1- Chester/Ephraim
2- Tim/Marie – (Toyouke: “And only 9 minutes before Team Dysfunction started arguing! Fantastic!”)
3- Jason/Amy

4- Rowan/Shane

5- Nicole/Travis

6- Leo/Jamal

7- Nicky/Kim

8- Ally/Ashley – (Auburnium0513: “I just saw another damn sparkle headband.”)

9- Hoskote/Naina

10- Tim/Danny – Danny: “We don’t have this many freeways in Oklahoma.”  (Toyouke: “I believe there ARE freeways in Oklahoma. “)

11- Brandon/Adam

Teams drive themselves to the airport and find the marked parking lot.  They arrive in the following order:

1- Leo/Jamal
2- Chester/Ephraim
3- Rowan/Shane

4- Tim/Marie  

5- Ally/Ashley

6- Nicky/Kim

7- Nicole/Travis

8- Brandon/Adam

9- Jason/Amy

10- Hoskote/Naina

11- Tim/Danny

Once everyone arrives, there’s very little jockeying for position, and the flights shake down like this:

Flight 1, American Airlines:

1) Leo/Jamal  
2) Chester/Ephraim
3) Rowan/Shane

4) Tim/Marie

5) Ally/Ashley

6) Nicky/Kim

7) Nicole/Travis

Flight 2, American Airlines:

1) Brandon/Adam

2) Jason/Amy

3) Hoskote/Naina

4) Tim/Danny

So, teams board their respective flights.  The Amazing Red and Yellow Lines take us to Santiago and on to Iquique, where teams arrive in the following order:

1- Nicole/Travis – who are convinced they need the Express Pass.  (Toyouke: “Why is everyone so obsessed with the Express Pass? Has that ever allowed anyone to win? Not last season, I know.”)
2- Rowan/Shane
3- Chester/Ephraim

4- Ally/Ashley

5- Leo/Jamal – Leo: "My wife is pregnant!”

6- Nicky/Kim

7- Tim/Marie

8- Brandon/Adam

9- Jason/Amy

10- Tim/Danny

11- Hoskote/Naina

Teams are now instructed to travel to Alto Hospicio to find Javier.

Teams arrive at Alto Hospicio in the following order:

1- Nicole/Travis
2- Chester/Ephraim
3- Ally/Ashley 

4- Leo/Jamal

5- Nicky/Kim

6- Rowan/Shane – Rowan: “Sally Field as the Flying Nun has nothing on me!”)

7- Tim/Marie

8- Brandon/Adam

9- Jason/Amy

10- Hoskote/Naina

11- Tim/Danny

Once they arrive, teams get the first roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who's good at following the leader?

In this roadblock, one team member must get in their taxi and follow their teammate, who will be paragliding to a beach.  Once the team members are reunited, they will get their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Nicole
2- Ephraim
3- Ashley

4- Leo

5- Nicky

6- Shane

7- Marie

8- Adam

9- Amy

10- Naina

11- Danny

After much hang gliding and following. teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Rowan/Shane
2- Nicole/Travis
3- Chester/Ephraim 

4- Tim/Marie

5- Leo/Jamal

6- Nicky/Kim

7- Ally/Ashley

8- Jason/Amy

9- Tim/Danny

10- Brandon/Adam

11- Hoskote/Naina

Teams are now instructed to make their way to Muelle Prat.

Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Nicole/Travis
2- Leo/Jamal
3- Rowan/Shane 

4- Tim/Marie

5- Chester/Ephraim

6- Nicky/Kim

7- Ally/Ashley

8- Tim/Danny

9- Brandon/Adam

10- Jason/Amy

11- Hoskote/Naina

Once they arrive, teams get the second roadblock clue. 

ROADBLOCK:

Who’s got both oars in the water?

In this roadblock, one team member must choose a rowboat and search the harbor for one of three boats (Dona Hilda, Scarlet, San Francisco) and collect five fish.  If a boat runs out of fish, you must find another boat to complete the fish collection.  Once the fish are collected, teams take their fish to the fishmonger and get their next clue.  Whoever did not take the first Roadblock (which is the person who paraglided) must take this one!

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Travis
2- Leo – who only realizes he needs to take it  after Jamal starts the Roadblock.  Oh and Jamal tries to talk to a sea lion.  (Toyouke: "You dumbass. Sea lions have teeth like dogs. I wish he'd bit you just on principle.”)
3- Rowan

4- Tim M.

5- Chester

6- Kim

7- Ally

8- Tim D.

9- Brandon

10- Jason

11- Hoskote – who takes it after Naina realizes she shouldn’t be doing it.

After much rowing, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Nicole/Travis
2- Tim/Marie
3- Rowan/Shane 

4- Chester/Ephraim

5- Nicky/Kim

6- Ally/Ashley

7- Leo/Jamal

8- Jason/Amy

9- Tim/Danny

10- Brandon/Adam

11- Hoskote/Naina

Teams must now make their way to the PIT STOP by foot, Teatro Municipal de Iquique.  This is the first pit stop in a racearoundtheworld.  The last team to arrive WILL be eliminated!

1- Tim/Marie – who win TWO Express Passes.  Remember, they must give away the second one by the end of the fifth leg, and may not use it themselves. 
2- Nicole/Travis – who should have been in first, but pulled a Heave, and rode in a taxi, causing them to get a 30 minute penalty.  (Auburnium0513: “Did we just have another "on foot" debacle?”  Toyouke: “YES. Fail Clang and all.”)
3- Rowan/Shane

4- Chester/Ephraim

5- Nicky/Kim

6- Ally/Ashley

7- Leo/Jamal

8- Jason/Amy

9- Tim/Danny

10- Brandon/Adam

11- Hoskote/Naina

And Hoskote and Naina are the first team out of the Amazing Race.  Naina: “It ended way too soon!”)

ORDER NOW:
1^st – Tim/Marie  
2^nd – Nicole/Travis
3^rd – Rowan/Shane
4^th – Chester/Ephraim
5^th – Nicky/Kim
6^th – Ally/Ashley

7^th – Leo/Jamal

8^th – Jason/Amy

9^th – Tim/Danny

10^th – Brandon/Adam

Next week: More Chile!  Rock busting!  And bathing in salt water!  (Toyouke: “Apparently nothing happens but eye candy.”)  Until next time!