Thursday, September 12, 2013

Project Runway 9/12/13--"Let's Do Brunch" summary

Previously on Project Runway: it was time to design for Heidi’s activewear collection. Woo. Of course this involves making everyone do physical activity. Helen tried to ask Tim a question sneakily, only everyone saw her do it, and then Ken tried to ask her about it. So she told him, but with attitude, so he got bitchy and then Helen got bitchy and because no one would shut up, it ended with her calling him Sandro part 2 and him threatening her. Magically he felt bad and apologized and is now cheerful. Whatever. Helen then won the challenge, because her jacket was long? Had tails? Something. Then Karen was out, because clearly she is more boring than Ken. Also she made baggy sweats and that was against the secret requirements or something. (click for more)

The boys talk vaguely about doing better. Ken says he’s been in the bottom more than the top. This causes him to watch who he speaks with and what he says? Huh? Why does that matter? The judges aren’t living with you. Do a better job sewing.

Heidi claims that they are giving the designers the morning off. Right. Southern brunch for all, to “unwind” and “have some fun”. I don’t buy it for one hot minute. Kate knows it’s too good to be true. It looks like no one buys it. Good, that means no one is dumb.

The brunch does look good, but everyone is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. There is small talk and everyone pretends to like each other. Helen talks about her last win for the athleticwear thing and Jeremy shares with us he hated her top. Everyone talks about how they know there’s a challenge coming and they look around the room to try to see what they are going to have to do. Tear up the tablecloths or what. Tim appears and everyone knows the party’s over. Tim hopes they had a civilized, relaxed brunch. They will be designing for “the modern, Southern woman”. Specifically, a woman who buys things from Belk, the provider of the accessory wall. People cheer like that’s exciting. Wait, does that mean if I’m not a modern Southern woman I can’t buy Belk things? Ken declares that he is “a resident of the South” and he sees this woman all day long so he’s got this in the bag. This woman dresses “vibrantly and expressively” and she is put together and can use accessories (obviously). Also lots of color and “feminine details”. Helen is worried. This can be day or evening. One day for the challenge. They’re going to sketch at the restaurant for some reason. $200 suggested budget. I only note that because maybe someone will run out of money later.

Ken is making a maxi dress. Alexander tells us he dresses like a “modern 80’s woman” so he doesn’t quite know what to do. Dom is thinking New Orleans. There are a lot of dresses, except Jeremy is doing a suit. Bradon tries to ask Ken about “the Southern woman” but he won’t say anything. Oh, so you can be close-mouthed about things but Helen can’t. Ass. There’s more posturing about how some of these people probably have never been to the South, and whatever. Mood is Mood. Bradon is buying plaid. Or at least looking for plaid. Ken refuses to do his first idea because everyone else is buying silk prints. Alexander has plaid too. I…guess I don’t know the South. Or maybe they’re just doing whatever they want. Bradon worries Alexander’s plaid is too much like his.

Tim brings in John Thomas from Belk so he can tell them the winner will have their stuff sold. But you probably could have guessed that. That’s what they always do with the winner of the accessory wall challenge. Alexandria is worried because this is not her style. Alexander and Bradon have a conversation about how Alexander is making a straitjacket and Bradon would like him to make two so he can have one. Dom and Ken eat and smack talk about how everyone’s plaid sucks. Dom would like not to be safe, again, and Ken of course thinks he’s better than everyone because they’re all morons.

Tim Time! Alexander is using his plaid in a day dress, “like a picnic dress, or go to…the forest…or whatever”. He has no idea what Southern women do. It’s a cocktail dress, which is within the bounds of the challenge so don’t pretend it’s something weird. Tim loves Bradon’s plaid, which actually I like better than Alexander’s. It’s not as bright but still colorful. Bradon is worried the judges will say it’s too 50’s again, and Tim leans in and says they don’t know what the judges will say. It’s true. Who knows what kind of crack they’ll spout today? Justin has three pieces, but Tim thinks it’s too Halloween. I don’t know. Any kind of orange and black, sure. Justin has a coral, which is really pretty, but with the black and other things it’s more orange. However Justin only has two yards of the coral. Kate has a lot of orange and some reds, and she’s cut the print to make swoops and loops. A good review, I guess. Tim loves Ken’s color, which is a dark purple. He has nothing else to say to Ken. Jeremy now has a dress, I think. Still a jacket though? Tim warns him against the shoes he’s picked out because they match the print exactly. Helen claims to not know what they drink in the South and if they drink champagne. We don’t see what Tim says but that thing is yellow. Dom overdesigned her activewear, but she maybe under designed this maxi dress. Alexandria has a bohemian outfit, which is not what she was aiming for. It’s the print or the drape or something. She suggests some weird stretchy belt that looks like smocking, and Tim says she’s going “crazy quilt”. Then he flat out tells her it’s hideous. Ouch. Somehow he convinces her to use some other print.

Model fittings. Alexandria is frantically making something new. All Jeremy has is half a jacket. Justin has only two pattern pieces for his dress. I don’t sew, so I don’t know why that is weird or different or whatever. Ken claims this challenge makes him think of home so he calls his mom, who straight up asks him if “that other side” has come out. Yup. He claims this is normal, and I would buy that. That he’s like that in real life. He claims to be working on it, but the only time I saw him apologize was when he got in trouble for threatening people, so…I guess he could be working on it. Bradon has his dress form in the sewing room, because he’s pinning and then sewing immediately and then futzing. Ken says bitchy things about it. Alexander hasn’t even stitched the skirt yet.

Runway day. Most people have a ton of work to do. Hot makeup guy Scott, faking a Southern accent and laughing at everyone. Lots of shots of accessories. Alexander loves his dress. Dom works up to the last possible minute.

Heidi’s dress print is weird. Guest judges are Stacy Keibler and John Thomas. Ken: maxi dress in dark purple. The skirt is full and hits just above her ankles in front, and the floor in back. A little mullet hem. Sleeveless V-neck with a racerback-style back. Helen: long yellow gown covered in white flowers. I think it’s like a lace or some kind of weave over the yellow. High neckline, no sleeves, and it’s a slim column. It’s really retro and kind of old lady or something. I don’t like the white over yellow thing happening. The skirt is really narrow. Justin: short coral dress, with a boatneck. The skirt seems to have weird panels or something. It’s not full, but on the sides it looks like flaps or ruffles. The top fits weirdly, like there’s a seam across the top of her boobs. I don’t know. The back is open and doesn’t fit, and there’s an inverted V in the back of the skirt. Weird. Alexander: short strapless dress with a handkerchief hem, in a bold blue and white plaid.

Alexandria: sleeveless dress with a handkerchief hem, knee-length, and somehow sheer so you can see her black granny panties. The top looks rough, like it’s not finished properly. The fabric is also a blue and white plaid, but with smaller squares so it blends together at a distance. Bradon: more plaid, but not as bright, in a halter neckline and a mullet skirt. The front is draped like an apron to her knee, and then it brushes the floor in back. It’s not bad, but maybe the mullet is off center? Dom: silk maxi dress in a periwinkle skirt with a slit. The top is an emerald green and has cap sleeves/wings over her shoulders. It’s gorgeous and simple. Jeremy: red jacket, which is tailored nicely, and a knee-length sheath dress in a great print. It’s not changing the world but I would try it on if I found it in a store. The print is red and white abstract. Kate: short orange dress with red cap sleeves and shoulders. The print is rings of circles, like draped necklaces, and she’s cut it in such a way that the circles make panels. She did a good job on lining those things up.

Helen, Alexandria, and Justin are safe. They’re not going to say anything about Helen’s yellow thing? OK. Helen is pissed. You’re lucky. That thing was not sellable. Bradon claims this is a day dress, but I think the hemline is not day. The mullet hem is off center, so as you look at his model the hem slants diagonally and I think it’s too dramatic for day. Heidi and Zac like it. Ken shoots daggers out of his eyes. Heh. Zac SPECIFICALLY says it could have ended up a tablecloth, which is what Ken and everyone else called it. I’m not saying I love it or it should win, I’m just celebrating sticking it to Ken. It makes everyone happy and etc. Dom looks pissed too. Jeremy’s jacket doesn’t have lapels, but I guess that’s a style. It’s not modern. Zac and Heidi make some reference to something I don’t catch and Jeremy doesn’t know what they are talking about. Heidi says it’s not sexy, but they didn’t say sexy. Jeremy was going for “lady” so that critique is dumb. It’s too simple and apparently they’re bored. Nina disagrees about the jacket but she does hate the print. Does it really suck that bad? I mean, it’s not great but it’s not that horrible. Ken talks about the vibrant color, but the judges are bored. Ken gets a little bitchy to Heidi, who thinks she couldn’t wear this to a wedding, which is dumb. She could. Heidi says it’s unflattering, and Ken gives her the stinkeye, so she calls him on it. Then he just stares at them all creepily instead of admitting it or denying it. Nina thinks it’s safe. Ken tries to argue but they don’t want to hear it. Everyone is bored. Heidi pokes the crazy and asks how he’s feeling, and he claims how that’s not important, but since they asked, plaid is “not what I see at home”.

Kate loved the colors of the print. Nina and Stacy like it, but Heidi says the skirt is cut too full and she looks pregnant. Heidi seems to be in the minority. It has hanger appeal. Dom loves her dress. It’s very minimal, and Nina hates the color, and this is too safe also. Blah blah. “Too safe”. You told them to design for a department store. Alexander liked his plaid, and his dress is well made and of course it’s sexy so Heidi likes it. Not everyone has to be sexy, Heidi, just because you like your short, tight, and shiny. They do all like this dress.

Back in the Scrap Bin Dom is shaking her fists at how she decided not to use her print. Tim tells the judges everyone struggled with who exactly the customer is. It’s true. Heidi thinks no one was really modern. They think Dom choked, which is dumb and how Nina could think this is pageant, I don’t know. Crack smoking. Jeremy’s jacket is not so horrifying. It’s a department store dress. Ken’s dress blends in. Heidi thinks Kate’s dress is unflattering but everyone else loves it. Alexander’s dress is well-made, as is Bradon’s.

No one understood the challenge, and Heidi says maybe they should take the time to make them change whatever is wrong with their garments. There’s nothing wrong with their garments, but whatever. Maybe you shouldn’t give them such stupid vague instructions. Bradon is the exception, because I guess you must make things sexy for Heidi. Or that’s what the producers decided to say today because they love Bradon. He is the “clear” winner. I looked at Belk’s website, and let me tell you, there was NOTHING that looked even close to what Bradon made. But fine. Alexander is in. Kate is in. When Kate gets back to the Scrap Bin, Helen announces that they have a theory about the bottom three, that they might all be eliminated. Probably not. Heidi tells the bottom three that the judges believe they didn’t understand the challenge, so they’re sending them back to the workroom. I don’t think this is the first time this ever happened. Didn’t they have the bottom two cut up their dresses on the runway before? I can’t even remember who was involved. They will have one hour to fix their dress, with whatever they find in the workroom and one other designer to help them.

One hour. Dom grabs Helen, Jeremy takes Alexander and Ken takes Kate. Ken is remaking what he has, while Dom is going to try to make a whole new dress with the print she originally bought. Jeremy is starting over too. Lots of running around and frantic sewing. Ken’s skirt ends up really short.

Ken: really short. So basically he took his dress, chopped off the bottom and made it tight, and then sewed one big sleeve to throw over one shoulder. It’s fine, but not modern. Dom: this dress is in the black and white linear print she bought. It looks like birch bark. The top is sleeveless, and the neckline is off-center but I think that was an accident and she ran out of time. The skirt is a loose mullet hem. The back has a weird draped flap but it’s cute. Jeremy: very simple sundress with an asymmetrical hem. The top part is light beige and there’s a print along the bottom, cut so it makes a wide border at the hem.

So I loved Dom’s before, and her dress now is still good. Jeremy did much better, and Ken did worse. But I feel like they all copied the people in the top. Heidi complained about how nothing was sexy, so Ken made a really short skirt. Jeremy’s was old so he made an asymmetrical hem like Bradon did. Whatever. Heidi is really condescending about how much better these are. “Oh, see what you can do in an hour?” They like Jeremy’s now, with the prints. Heidi can’t stop talking about how she loves Dom’s dress. Zac claims she would have been in the top. Uh huh. Seriously they cannot say enough good things. Ken’s hem has a weird flap right in front. He claims he sketched this at first. They talk about how much better it is, and somehow it’s more modern but I am not sure about that. HEIDI says it’s too short. So you know it’s too short.

They love Dom a lot. Jeremy’s is simpler than Ken’s, but Nina says Jeremy has a better attitude. Everyone pretends to like Ken’s dress better, as if it’s his dress and not his potential for drama that they like. But we all know what is really going on.

Dom did a great job and so they’re going to sell her dress too. Nice! I love her. She is in. Oh you know Jeremy is out and Ken is in. Like they’d get rid of Ken. He might actually get in a fight with someone. See, I’m right. Ken says in confessional that Jeremy was the right person to go home. Shut up, Ken. He’s eliminated so you could stick around and be an ass. Maybe don’t rub it in. Jeremy’s not sad, he gets to drink tonight. Hee. I wonder if Tim’s regretted using his Tim Save already.

Next week: real woman challenge! Superfans! Ha! Alexander knocks a bunch of stuff over and Ken starts yelling again. They have a big fight and production gets involved? Maybe? But I know there were only eight collections shown last week and I know who doesn’t show. So we’ll see. There does appear to be shots of both Alexander and Ken on the runway, but I didn’t compare clothes to see if they were recycled.

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