Thursday, January 19, 2012

Project Runway All Stars 1/19/12--"Patterning for Piggy" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone had to make ball gowns for a night at the opera. Austin wisely pointed out that an opera gown is not the same thing as a red carpet gown. He was the favorite, and he ended up winning, naturally. His dress was actually very good. Michael managed to make a dramatic gown but did not win. Sweet P made a weird empire waist gown that I saw compared to a traditional Korean gown but the print was ugly and the top looked like a swimsuit so she went home. (click for more)

Andrea tells everyone they must create “a flamboyant cocktail dress” for a celebrity, blah blah, we already know who it is because you spoiled it last week. Also having a flat screen with Miss Piggy on it is weak sauce. I demand scrim shadows. Everyone laughs without thinking about the logistics of this. Anthony says “I’m going to get to design a dress for a Muppet” and I can’t tell if he’s thrilled or irritated. The winner will have the dress modified “for Miss Piggy’s figure”. I mean, obviously they will have to make a smaller version. But do they have to design for a plus sized person? Also she will be there to judge. Why couldn’t she be there now then? They have the rest of the day.

Sketching begins, and for some reason I’m irritated they are pretending this is a serious challenge. Mila is going “classic”. At least some people discuss their kids/nieces/nephews being thrilled. Austin is going with a “pink bow concept”. Gordana is also going pink and is noticing others are going black. Seriously, you need to make up some crazy shit for this.

Gordana thinks everyone is going for structure, but she is staying true to herself and going for youthful and “the family side”. Whatever that means. Everyone seems very serious. Rami is picking out accessories for some reason, now, and Mondo claims the pink satin gloves from his workstation. He and Kara fight about it. Well, Mondo shouts “I want the pink gloves, don’t take them” and Kara says “can I take the pink gloves” and Mondo says “whatever, I don’t want to fight about it, take the damn gloves”.

I don’t know why this challenge is irritating me. I mean, obviously there is a person or persons who are responsible for Miss Piggy’s “style”. I don’t know. Rami has polka dots. Anthony talks about being a lady. April is focused so she won’t be in the bottom two anymore. I am sure you will be shocked to know Kenly is doing retro. Mila interviews that SOME people are DESPERATE for other people’s approval, but SHE is not like that.

Joanna time! OK…that doesn’t sound half bad. Gordana has a short dress but the top is floaty and has ruffles or rosettes along the neckline. Joanna is feeling nightgown which is bad. Gordana is going for comfort, and Joanna basically says that celebrities will do anything, up to and including a saran wrap corset, to look good. Comfort is not important here. Mila is making a headband, and Joanna reminds her she is designing for a pig and ears are involved. See this is what I’m talking about. YOU ARE DESIGNING FOR A MUPPET. I think Kenley has pink cow print and a turquoise shawl thing. Austin feels a kindred spirit with Miss Piggy, with the random French phrases and the fashion. True. He is making a giant ass bow. I bet it won’t matter. Who else are you going to make a giant ass bow for? Mondo has a fabulous print, as he usually does, and is going 60’s. Joanna tells him to keep focused.

Models show up with one hour left. Mila’s fitting a muslin sleeve, but the rest of the dress is off and this is not good. Gordana’s dress is very loose and shapeless, but maybe she’ll make it work. Mondo doesn’t like the way his dress is going, but he’s almost out of time. Kenley is still yelling to Kara about her top. Mila thinks they are co-dependent. Yeah, maybe they are. But I think it’s early enough it might be OK. Also what do you care?

Apartment time seems to be slap-happy. Anthony quotes Oprah. Actually they all seem to be getting along which is a nice thing to see.

The day of the show, everyone is frantically working. Some things never change. Anthony says he was going to eat some bacon this morning but felt conflicted. Hee. Austin is horrified and says Anthony had better not admit to it on the runway. 2 hours for hair and makeup. Kara apparently stacked up accessories somewhere and didn’t label them. I’m not sure how that happened, but Austin has them now. He gives them back with a huge sigh and says this is the second time she’s stolen his accessories. Kenley thinks she will win. They let Austin quote the Muppet Show opening.

Isaac isn’t here, but Eric Daman is here. He designs for Gossip Girl. And Miss Piggy. Michael: a very short sheath dress, strapless, with big stiff loops down one side. And giant loops on her head. It’s shiny. Exposed zipper GAH. April: short flouncy black dress with an inverted skirt (like a big peplum and then it gets narrower). The top has a deep V with an inset panel in a contrasting print. Feathers along the armholes. It’s cute. Jerell: short pink dress with a mullet hem and a ruffle on the hem. The top has illusion netting and jewels and fuzzy shoulders. But it doesn’t fit right, it’s all baggy around her waist. Kara: short tight black dress with a cutout. Like, it’s a bikini top and then a high-waisted skirt with hot pink piping on the seams. The hot pink gloves…I guess they go. Eh. Kenley: a full circle skirt and a strapless top, with a weird deep cleft in the middle. As though she has ears on her boobs. It’s a pink giraffe print and there are petticoats and a white belt and a giant huge piece of netting on her head. Thank God she got rid of the turquoise shawl. The skirt is good but I hate the top. Anthony: black dress with a boat neck and no sleeves, and a mullet hem. The top is sheer over her shoulders, and there is a bunch of flowers or something going on on her chest but it’s all dark so I can’t tell what it is. The sheer has stripes in it.

Rami: a short flamenco dress in pink polka dots. There’s a ruffle along her shoulders and the neckline, and a flower, and then it’s fitted until just above her knees where there’s another ruffle. It really does look like a flamenco dress, just not floor length. You know what this would have been good for? A Barbie challenge. Mila: short black and white mod dress. She’s back to the color blocking, but all in black and white, with stripes on the sleeves and random white rectangles. Blah. Gordana: short dusty rose dress with a lot of rosettes along the neckline and shoulders. There is a slight mullet hem, and the hem is sewn strangely so it sits weird. It’s pretty shapeless. Austin: very fitted sheath dress, in gray with a dark pink panel down the front. There are big bows over each hip, and the bodice is gray with pink bra cups. I would not have though it was Austin’s dress, and it certainly doesn’t looks like anyone else’s. Mondo: very shiny pink dress, with a miniskirt and a high crew neck and little cap sleeves. I think there are two tiers to the skirt? As if she wore a tunic over a miniskirt.

Austin for some reason is dressed like a male flamenco dancer, with the wide flat hat and ruffled shirt and thin bow at the neck and jacket. Austin, Rami, Gordana, Kenley, Mila, and Michael are the top and bottom. Austin’s dress is well made, but his pink is too dark. It’s not happy. Eric starts talking about how on a real woman, hip bows are a bad thing, but seriously this man is wearing his shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest and then a necktie tied normally inside the shirt. I cannot take anything he says seriously. Miss Piggy asks if you could hula hoop in the dress. Sigh. Rami wanted a festive print and something that would move a lot. Angela wonders if the “average” woman could wear this dress successfully, but Georgina likes that he went for it. Eric makes a dumb comment about “Parisian hog couture”. Shut up. Miss Piggy loves it, although it is garish and outlandish. Gordana wanted to bring happiness, but this dress might be too understated. It’s a nice dress, but maybe not for Miss Piggy. Michael kisses everyone’s ass but Georgina likes his dress and the exposed zipper. Sigh. But it’s very dark, and maybe he could use some pink accessories. Miss Piggy thinks it looks like a present. Mila’s dress really needs some color. It’s graphic, but this was a challenge where she pretty much was required to use color. Kenley wanted her dress to say “This movie is fun, I’m in it….I’m fabulous…” Yeah. The color is great, but the top causes concern. Kenley says it has boning and then reveals that it is upholstery fabric. Who wants to wear upholstery fabric? Georgina says it looks like she’s about to fall out of it. There is a stupid conversation between Miss Piggy and shirtless loser about her ears and hats.

Austin’s dress was flamboyant but not classy. Plus shiny satin is not flattering. I am noticing that in the shots of all four judges, Miss Piggy is not moving at all. The only shots of her moving and talking are solitary shots. Mila’s dress is retro but Goth which is not Miss Piggy. Georgina thinks she made something from a collection of hers but she didn’t meet the challenge. They didn’t like Gordana’s shade of pink. Kenley’s bust construction looks like it will fall down any second. Rami’s dress is fun and attention-getting, which is not a bad thing here. Oh, now she’s moving in the full shot. He made a dress that probably would not work for any other challenge. Michael let himself down in the styling, although his dress was great. And he made a top hat, which is weird. Eric makes a dumb comment and gets smacked. The girls laugh, because the man just got shown by a Muppet.

Kenley is safe. Miss Piggy makes a big deal about the dramatic pause, and then declares Michael the winner. Eh. He’s super thrilled though. Rami is in. Austin is in. Gordana’s dress didn’t stand out enough. Mila’s dress didn’t fit the client. Mila is safe. Gordana is looking forward to going back home and being more creative. She says she would love to tell everyone it’s never too late to follow your own dreams.

Next week: Diane von Furstenberg! They have 6 hours to make something. I guess just any dress? The time is the important thing. Well some of them have made dresses in less time, I’m sure. You know, when people freak out and start over at the end of a challenge. They should have no problem.


Duabe said...

Ha ha ha ha! Shirtless loser - love it! Perfect description for the "stylist" last night!

Agree with your description of something not-quite-right about the episode. Forced hilarity = fake all the way.

Anonymous said...

OH, Rami's dress is a BARBIE dress. No wonder I wanted to throw up at the sight of it. So glad he didn't win. I really want Michael almost win. But Mondo must win.