Project Runway 8/20/09--"Welcome to L.A.!" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: oh, you remember. Giant fight. Huge giant delay for our show. So much so that the finalists got to show their collections, but without their names, which kind of sucks. But no one had to pay for decoy collections, so that’s something. I guess. Anyways, let’s forget about all that. (click for more)

Our first contestant is Ra’Mon Lawrence, 31, from Chicago. OK are they seriously living in the “Title Guarantee Building Lofts”? That is pretty lame. Anyways, Ra’Mon dropped out of med school (neurosurgery!!) to pursue designing. Logan Neitzel, 26, Seattle, is much better looking on camera than in still shots. Although he has the sleazestache going. (Kmanpat: “Still cute!”) Johnny Sakalis, 30, West Hollywood, apparently had tried out before, but he was on crystal meth at the time so he didn’t really make it. He’s glad to have broken that. Gordana Gehlhausen, 45, originally from Yugoslavia. She has her own store already. I like her accent. Malvin Vien, 24, New York, has some serious Marcel hair. It’s like, short on the sides but curly and piled high on top. Carol Whitfield, 24, Charleston. We don’t find out anything about her. And Qrystil Frazier, 42, New York but originally from Saint Louis so the paper did an article on her like two days ago. But seriously, Qrystil, that name is going to kill me. But she makes plus sized clothes so that is exciting. Shirin Askari, 24, Texas, says her name means “sweet” in Farsi. She appears to have convertible clothes. Nicolas Putvinski, 27, says he is known in New York as “The Feather Prince”. Oh, honey. He is so flamey. Lots of sparkles. (Kmanpat: “I like sparkles. And princes.“) Mitchell Hall, 26, Savannah. He looks so much better when he smiles! He says he’s been working in the business side of things. Epperson, 50, New York, and Christopher Straub, 30, Minnesota, come in next. Chris looks much better than his photo. Ari Fish, 26, Kansas City, also has “transformative” clothing. Althea Harper, 24, Dayton. She gets no intro. Irina Shabayeva, 27, New York, says her dog inspires everything she does. As long as she doesn’t dress the dog. Louise Black, 32, Dallas, comes in on her heels and doesn’t get to say anything.

OK, I think everyone has met everyone, so now we fill in stuff. Carol tells Gordana that she sold Gordana some dresses, a while ago. Carol then claims that her dresses are “pixie meets cocktail party”. She tries to say people will underestimate her because she’s blonde, but that fails when she trails off in the middle of the sentence. Sigh. Epperson learns that he’s much older than everyone, and says he’s been dressing windows. Everyone finds notes from Heidi telling them to come to the roof. They like to party on the roof.

Heidi praises the weather and then says they won’t be seeing it again because of all the work. Ha! Then Tim welcomes everyone and tells them they’ll be working in FIDM. Now they start drinking. Louise is a vintage person. Malvin saves us from the comment and says that he is androgynous and works that. Althea has interned at Alexander McQueen and Vivienne Westwood, already, at 24. Chris flirts with Heidi and seems interesting. Tim puts everyone to bed and says tomorrow is a field trip!

Some of these people have crazy clothing. The field trip is to the red carpet at the Emmys. Damn. For their first challenge they have to make a red carpet work, with innovation and their own point of view. Tim then reminds them that there are many many awards shows, with lots of different styles, so no one has to limit themselves. That’s a really good point; someone might not be able to design a good dress for the Oscars but their style is perfect for MTV.

The new workroom at FIDM is really big but it seems more crowded with tables. 30 minutes to sketch, and then 30 minutes and $200 to shop at…Mood? Ari is wearing some kind of skintight loud patterned body suit. They have two days, and winner gets immunity. Ari yells that she doesn’t sketch, and people look disgusted. She’s in the corner doing a handstand. Over her body suit are blue shorts. Well at least she’ll be entertaining.

Oo, it IS Mood! Yay! Ari mentions tessellations. (Kmanpat: “Woo! Math!”) Tim calls 5 minutes and Qrystil is freaking out because there is only one person cutting fabric. That seems like someone at Mood didn’t plan very well. Somehow it’s agreed that Qrystil can cut her own fabric if she pays for the scissors, I think so they’re her own. Good for her to come up for that solution.

Tim reminds everyone innovation is important and then he leaves them with 8 more hours today. Ra’Mon gets choked up thinking about someone wearing his gown on the red carpet. Johnny is already rethinking. Mitchell is explaining to Chris about how he’s smocking, and Chris doesn’t know what that means. Johnny’s still rethinking. I think he’s freaking out. He actually leaves the room to go calm down. He already is thinking about quitting.

GLEE COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I am super excited. (Kmanpat: “YAY!”)

Everyone is working but Johnny is sitting alone in the lounge waiting for Tim. He loses it and says he doesn’t want to fail again. Normally I would say he should man up and go back to work, but I’m not going to make fun of anyone’s drug addiction. Tim is so perfectly supportive and awesome. I love Tim. Johnny says it’s so great to have Tim Gunn talk you through something. Tim sends him off with a “Make it work!” and he tells the workroom Tim is a god. Hee.

Malvin says there is no vocab for his garments. Ari is stacking fabric pieces. Everyone goes home to sleep, probably.

Johnny is in a much better mood. There is no eye candy getting dressed shots of half naked boys. That part is sad. Chris tells the entire workroom that he has no formal training and doesn’t know what they’re talking about sometimes. Do you really want to tell your competition that, though?

Tim time! Chris has what looks like garbage bags, although I’m sure that’s not what they are. Tim warns him that improper styling will result in “cruise line cocktail waitress”. Ari is sewing together hexagons. With some kind of puffy diaper thing. Tim is concerned. Ra’Mon is making a big butt. Mitchell tries to call him “Mr. Gunn” which is so adorable. His dress has a high collar and long sleeves, and shades from ivory to dark blue. It’s really interesting. And it’s going to be smocked from waist to knee. Qrystil wants drama. She asks if it’s drama in a good way, and as Tim gazes on the purple with lace up patterned insert, she says “OK, you’re pausing too long!” Hee.

Model fitting. Mitchell says his card measurements were totally wrong. After fitting, they have 4 hours and “mere nanoseconds” tomorrow. Ari’s dress is so puffy and weird. I think Mitchell took his whole dress apart to redo it. He says it’s off by 5 inches, but…doesn’t smocking stretch?

Ari today is wearing a very loud jumper with shorts. Everyone works hard and Mitchell has nothing. He has a neck and fabric. Tim gives them 2 hours and the Macy’s accessory wall. Mitchell is sewing his model into the dress. Everyone watches him. Nicolas says his model will be nude and that this is a first. Let me direct your attention to Wendy Pepper and her “candy bikini” that she sent out the first episode of the first season. Nude has been done. He asks Chris if it’s a good plan, and Chris is like, it’s a plan all right. Ari jacks up her model’s hair. Mitchell is pretty screwed.

Heidi introduces Kors and Nina, and the guest judge who is Lindsay Lohan. WTF is that? She cleaned up for the event, and Heidi claims Lohan is a singer. Whatever.

Althea (model Tanisha): long dress in a gray blue, with a halter neckline and the bodice is puffy and white. It’s pretty but not super exciting. I think the white is tacked on other fabric. Gordana (model Tara): short dress in soft teal, with a pencil skirt and a strapless bodice made out of loose material. The bodice is gathered and pointy and it looks pretty cool. Malvin (model Valerie): V-neck short dress in a non-color. Blah. You have to get pretty close to see that the back is pleated, and over her boobs, but it’s like this weird color that’s not white but it’s not quite tan and not quite gray. Mitchell (model Yosuzi): he managed to save the high smocked neck, and the rest of the dress is like a tent that he just sewed to the neck. It’s floor length ivory with bell sleeves. I’m only impressed because he made that dress in 2 hours. They keep saying how she’s naked think because the fabric is sheer and he didn’t have time to line it, obviously. Louise (model Lisa): a loose dress in two colors of satin, a putty and a darker gray. Over one shoulder it’s very gathered to make a big knot of ruffles, and the sash is sewn so over the putty side it’s gray and vice versa. The bottom of the skirt is gathered so it’s almost a bubble hem and almost a handkerchief hem but not quite either. I really like it, actually. The two colors are close enough that at first it looks like they’re the same, and the light is just hitting it weird. Although she says that’s not what she was going for. Chris (model Katie): short strapless dress with a lot of volume. The top is gathered black fabric, all ruffles and puffy, then it’s belted, and the bottom is tiered pink. If only the black didn’t look like trash bags. Ra’Mon (model Vanessa): long dress in dark blue. It’s one shouldered, with a very wide strap that’s almost like a cap sleeve. There’s pleating over her stomach, all the way down over her hips. It’s not bad. Shirin (model Ebony): OK so first of all, she has her model pose with hand to forehead behind the scrim. It’s a short off white satin dress, or maybe it’s that putty non-color, with a sparkly charcoal capelet. The neckline is folded and cool looking, and the sparkles are on the back of the skirt, but there is a butt bow.

I’d forgotten how many dresses there are in the first episode. Epperson (model Erica M): long black dress with a big puffy collar, a la Christian. It also ends like 6 inches from the floor, and has more tulle in a ruffle on the bottom of the skirt. Irina (model Celine): gorgeous long satiny skirt with a bodice that looks like it has a pattern, only it’s hard to make out, with a thin black belt. The skirt moves beautifully as she walks. There are panels of non-shiny fabric in the skirt, which is kind of odd, but it’s really good. Ari (model Erika Macke): Jesus. Very short silver halter dress, the halter style where there’s like a collar. The hexagons don’t show up well, it just looks puffy. And her hair looks like shit. There’s some dark yellow trim thrown in for fun. And possibly blue shorts? Who knows? And tall black boots! Actually, they’re not shorts, but bloomers, puffy silhouette and all. I am getting tired of dresses, people. Johnny (model Emarie): red dress with a V-neck. It looks shapeless, and I don’t know if that’s on purpose. There’s some black sparkly trim on the hem and I think on the back of the neck, where it ties. Carol (model Kojii): long dress in multiple layers of tans and wheat and so forth. The bodice is gathered and fitted down past her hips, there’s some detailing that winds around her boobs and down the front. It’s busy. Qrystil (model Kalyn): one side of the dress is purple satin and the other one is also satin but is a flowery print. They coordinate, but it’s like, the print is pleated down the center of the dress, looking all tacked on, and then she turned around and the back is draped nicely but no one looked at it because they were all writing down notes about the print. Logan (model Fatma): long silver dress that’s cut diagonally down the bodice, so one half of the bodice is black. It’s cool, but I don’t like how he told his model to stalk down the runway. Nicolas (model Matar): very short black dress with a woven bodice that has a lighter gray woven in. it’s interesting but I don’t know if it’s interesting enough. Maybe it’s not woven but just sewn nicely. THANK GOD WE’RE DONE.

Heidi says Shirin, Epperson, Gordana, Carol Hannah, Logan, Althea, Nicolas, Irina, Malvin, and Louise are safe. Qrystil says she’s going to the Emmys with her loud print. Heh. And that she imagined someone young wearing her dress, like Miley Cyrus or Lohan. Lohan looks disgusted. The back is draped well, to her credit. It’s just the weird print thing. Heidi says it’s a mess and it’s crooked. Kors says it’s like she glued two dresses together and whoever wears it will get killed by the press. Yeah, probably. Chris is thinking MTV with his poofiness, even though the bottom ruffles are sort of dingy looking. It’s just the color. Closer up the black looks like a very cool texture and not plastic. Ra’Mon is headed for Oscars, everything is well made and elegant but Kors wants more. I think Kors is bored. Lohan says it’s safe but it looks like more than $200. Ari…oh Ari. She says this is for the VMA’s in 2080. Or for a Nobel Peace Prize. Kors labels it “disco soccer ball”. Yeah. It’s interesting that when Elisa was on the show she was obviously not from this planet but her dress was so much better than this. Lohan points out that someone has to buy her clothes, in the end. Nina is nice and says she appreciates her conceptual process. Why is she being so nice? Johnny aimed for “movie premiere” and Nina praises how easy and sexy it is. Actually they like it. And then they show a full body shot, with her standing still so you can see clearly. The front is a knee-length bubble hem and then there is a tail. Like, it’s very low in the back and at the base of her spine is a tail of fabric that is almost to the floor. And there’s no shape to it. Kors says it would be better in black because it’s already interesting and doesn’t need a loud color. Maybe it’s just me but I think it’s weird and not pleasing. Mitchell blames his model’s bad measurements for his lack of a dress. Nina knows that it’s sheer and unwearable, but she can see the idea and concept and it interests her. Kors thinks she should be in her house by the fireplace with some brandy.

Good: Ra’Mon (kind of boring but excellent pretty dress), Johnny (cool shape but should have been in black), Chris (youthful and elegant, but still edgy). Bad: Qrystil (Kors busts out the “taste level” comment), Ari (Nina throws up her hands and says it’s like speaking to someone from another world, but Kors thinks maybe he’s not smart enough to get it), and Mitchell (unwearable).

Johnny is in. Chris is the winner. When he’s glad he puts hands to mouth like a pageant queen. Hee. He talks about not having education again. (Kmanpat: “Also, never wear hats.”) Ra’Mon is in. Qrystil is in. Ari and Mitchell are the last two. We know what they did. Although Heidi tells Ari that it’s one thing to aim outside of the box, and another to completely miss the box. Ari is out. She talks about taking risks responsibly and learning from the experience.

Next week: looks for a real celebrity, but who knows which one. Cursing ensues.