TAR14, Recap Leg 4, 3/8/09

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Let Me Give You a Topic: Markers Are Neither the Right Colors or Arrows; Discuss, Ignore, Repeat, teams raced from Salzburg Austria to Bran Romania. Brad and Victoria flew to Amsterdam instead and missed their connection, opening the way for Tammy and Victor who can’t seem to navigate their way out of a paper bag. Kris left the fanny pack at the detour, allowing Mel and Mike to win their first leg. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Mel/Mike, Team Rainbow, arrived at 10:49 AM
2nd – Amanda/Kris, Team YDC, arrived at 10:53 AM
3rd – Kisha/Jen, The Athletes, arrived at 10:55 AM
4th – Margie/Luke, Team ASL, arrived at 11:06 AM
5th – Mark/Michael, The Stuntmen, arrived at 11:07 AM
6th – Christie/Jodi, The Flight Attendants, arrived at 11:08 AM
7th – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerleaders, arrived at 11:29 AM
8th – Tammy/Victor, Team Asian, arrived at 1:30 PM

Vila Panoramic, Bran, Romania

10:49 PM Mel/Mike (1st)
Clue: Fly to Siberia! Teams should choose a flight through Moscow to Krasnoyarsk. Once there, travel by taxi to the object pictured on the 10 ruble note (Toyouke: “Yay! Real Clue!”), which is the Soviet Era Hydroelectric Dam.

Mike: “My father is part Woody Allen, part Billy Graham, and a splash of Judy Garland.” We’ll see the splash a little later.

10:53 PM Amanda/Kris (2nd)
10:55 PM Kisha/Jen (3rd)
11:06 PM Margie/Luke (4th)
11:07 PM Mark/Michael (5th) – who try to call ahead. (Auburnium513: “What the hell? You try to call Lufthansa and call another cab? And why did the cab driver hand the phone to the cheerleaders?”)

11:08 PM Christie/Jodi (6th) – who find an internet café to do some research.

11:29 PM Jaime/Cara (7th) – Cara: “Some pretty powerful beavers must have made that dam. . . they must be female.”

1:30 AM Tammy/Victor (8th)

Teams arrive at the Bucharest International Airport in the following order:

1-Mel/Mike
2-Amanda/Kris
3-Kisha/Jen
4-Mark/Michael
5- Margie/Luke
6- Jaime/Cara
7- Tammy/Victor
8- Christie/Jodi

Teams choose flights to Krasnoyarsk. We watch the Amazing Red, Blue, Orange and Purple lines travel to Moscow, where only one continues on, carrying only three teams, since the other five missed the flight.

So, teams arrive in Krasnoyarsk in the following order:

1- Mark/Michael
2- Christie/Jodi
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Margie/Luke
5- Amanda/Kris
6- Mel/Mike
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Tammy/Victor

Teams now take taxis to the Hydroelectric Dam. They arrive in the following order:

1- Mark/Michael
2- Christie/Jodi
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Margie/Luke
5- Amanda/Kris
6- Mel/Mike
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Tammy/Victor

The first three teams arrive to find that the dam doesn’t open until 8:30 AM. So teams wait and get the clue to travel to the Church of Saint Innokenty to get their next clue.

Teams arrive at the church in the following order:

1- Mark/Michael
2- Christie/Jodi
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Amanda/Kris
5- Mel/Mike
6- Margie/Luke
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Tammy/Victor

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Stack OR Construct
*Stack: Teams must walk to the river bank and stack firewood in a traditional method to get their next clue. Teams must rebuild any stacks that they knock over in the process.
*Construct: Teams must travel on foot to a nearby shed where they must build and assemble a pair of shutters and deliver them to the house that is under repair. Once the shutters are hung at the correct house, the owner will give them their next clue.

(Toyouke: "If you can't see that the stacks are taller than you, and that the shutters are tongue-and-groove and have minimal nailing, does the wood stacking look like a better detour choice? I mean...we can see those things and they just have a written description.”)

1-Christie/Jodi choose Stack – (Toyouke: “I like the fake Tetris music + locals + accordion = awesome. Oh and that woman is already drunk.”)
2-Kisha/Jen choose Stack – Jen: “It’s like Jenga!”
3-Mark/Michael choose Stack – and eventually knock over BOTH their stack and the example stack. They then do the first Bald Snark of the season and take CONSTRUCT. And then they promptly get lost finding the house for construction.
4-Amanda/Kris choose Stack - and eventually knock over their stack. They then bald snark to CONSTRUCT.
5-Mel/Mike choose Stack- and eventually knock over their stack. They then bald snark to CONSTRUCT.
6-Tammy/Victor choose Stack
7-Margie/Luke choose Stack
8-Jaime/Cara choose Stack- and eventually knock over their stack.

In the hilarity that ensues, the three teams that end up taking Construct are still unable to find the house under repair. Michael: “We’re the caravan of idiots.” Mel: “How can four smart guys and the rest of us not figure this out?” As he says this, the Amazing Editor pans to the house they need to find 50 FEET AWAY. (Toyouke: “Caravan of idiots + Amazing Editors = AWESOME!” Auburnium513: *ROTFL!*) So, they turn around to leave. *sigh*

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Christie/Jodi
3- Margie/Luke
4- Tammy/Victor – Victor: “That’s Asian engineering for you!” (Kmanpat: “Because Asian people are smart.” Toyouke: “That’s JAPAN people! Get your own stupid quote right!”)
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Mel/Mike
7- Mark/Michael
8- Amanda/Kris

Teams are then instructed to travel to the museum of the novel “The Last Bow”.

CAUTION: U-TURN AHEAD

This is the first of two U-Turns of the race. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. In this season, however, the U-Turn is blind, so a team does not have to reveal themselves as the culprits. (Toyouke: “THAT'S a blind u-turn?!?! That is the stupidest shit ever. My ideas were WAY better.”)

En route to the museum, teams arrive at the U-Turn and then get their next clue in the following order:

1-Kisha/Jen choose to U-Turn no one
2-Christie/Jodi choose to U-Turn no one
3-Margie/Luke choose to U-Turn Amanda/Kris – because they are a strong team.
4-Tammy/Victor cannot U-Turn
5-Jaime/Cara cannot U-Turn
6-Mel/Mike cannot U-Turn
7-Mark/Michael cannot U-Turn
8-Amanda/Kris have been U-Turned

Teams find the museum in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Christie/Jodi
3- Margie/Luke
4- Tammy/Victor
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Mel/Mike
7- Mark/Michael
8- Amanda/Kris

Teams are then instructed to take a taxi to Bobrovy Log Park and search for the next clue. They arrive in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Christie/Jodi
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Margie/Luke
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Mark/Michael
7- Mel/Mike
8- Amanda/Kris

And teams come to the fourth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready to speed read?
In this roadblock, one team member must travel at 55 miles per hour on a dry bobsled track for 3 miles. They must complete the track in 4 minutes, and search for seven letters while traveling. If the team member does not get all the letters or complete the track in more than four minutes, they must travel again. Then, the team member must take the seven letters and rearrange them to form the name of a famous Russian playwright (Chekhov) to get their next clue. (Kmanpat: “That looks a lot like the fruit clue on the Mole.”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Kisha – misses a letter on the first run.
2- Christie
3- Victor
4- Luke – who breaks down when he can’t spell Chekhov because he has enough of a problem with American Literature. (Kmanpat: “Luke’s dancing in the bobsled!” Toyouke: “Hee.”)
5- Jaime
6- Michael – misses a letter on the first run.
7- Mel
8- Kris

After bobsledding, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Christie/Jodi
3- Tammy/Victor – (Auburnium513: “Kmanpat, I don't care if you don't want him, Victor is yours! the giddy jumping and clapping? The frolicking after the bobsled? He's yours!”)
4- Margie/Luke
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Mel/Mike
7- Mark/Michael
8- Amanda/Kris

Teams find out they are to take a taxi to the Krasnoyarsk Theater of Musical Comedy, the PIT STOP of the fourth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Christie/Jodi (!) – who win a motorcycle each!
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Margie/Luke
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Mel/Mike
7- Mark/Michael – who are having a hard time paying the cab driver. (Toyouke: “How are you out of money? What happened to the $585 from the other leg? Jesus.”)
8- Amanda/Kris

And Amanda and Kris are eliminated. But they think that they were screwed by either Christie/Jodi or Kisha/Jen and that Margie and Luke would have been upset by their U-Turn. Oh, how wrong you are. . .

ORDER NOW:
1st – Christie/Jodi
2nd – Kisha/Jen
3rd – Tammy/Victor
4th – Margie/Luke
5th – Jaime/Cara
6th – Mel/Mike
7th – Mark/Michael

Next week: Luke gets a bad rap as the “sinister deaf kid.” And there’s naked running in Siberia (Toyouke: “HAHAHA I GET TO RECAP LUKE IN HIS UNDERWEAR!”) Oh yeah, I’ll be in Germany, so Toyouke has the next one. CURSES! Until next time!