Previously
on “Top Chef”: there was a bunch of product placement for a
Quickfire. Colors. Whatever. Gregory won, which was nice mostly
because Karen lost again. The Elimination challenge involved two
teams, and shopping at the farmer's market. Everyone had to make
vegetarian tasting menus. There was some minor drama with Lee Anne
and Malarkey, because Lee Anne once again did poorly. Melissa won,
with another soup. She's doing very well. Lisa was sent home for a
weird lukewarm undercooked Brussels sprouts dish. (click for more)
On Last
Chance Kitchen, Hipster Joe and Lisa had to fry things. Lisa
immediately became very cocky and obnoxious, but sadly she won so we
have to deal with her again.
Bryan tells
everyone they should have communicated more. Lee Anne and Malarkey
make up, I guess. In the morning, she and Jen talk about it, and Lee
Anne says she takes responsibility for her dish. I mean, Malarkey was
a jerk about it, but he did have a point. If the hummus is
unseasoned, then you can't blame all of the seasoning on the person
finishing the dish. Also, why did Malarkey get a bunch of shit for
making something boring that everyone has seen before, and Lee Anne
made hummus and veggies and they didn't show one single comment about
that? Jen tells her she's in her head. Then Jen gets an interview
talking about all the balls she's juggling and how she's here to try
to make her life better.
When
everyone walks in for the Quickfire, there is nothing. Everything is
cleared away, except for labeled workstations and a phone at each
station. Padma isn't even here. People eventually decide to check the
phones, putting in earbuds and hitting “call” because that's
what's on the phone. Eric gets connected first, and when someone
answers and says how are you, he says “I'm fine, this sounds like
my wife, how are you?” It's really his wife. So then everyone
figures it out, because they were all standing around to see what
would happen with Eric. Nini's mom calls, but she doesn't recognize
her voice. Hee. Eventually everyone answers their phones, and Bryan
jokes that no one loves him because no one is calling him. Everyone
wanders aimlessly around the kitchen for a second, on the phone,
until Padma finally appears and says they'll have to call back.
The
Quickfire involves the loved ones. They're all here in LA at a
restaurant. They'll be served one of three dishes from the
restaurant, and then the chefs will have to recreate it. Interesting.
It must taste and look the same, and they cannot get a photo. Winner
gets immunity and $10,000.
30 minutes
to cook. It's loud, and some people have a distinct advantage. For
example, Kevin's wife can immediately tell her pork chop is a ribeye
and not a T-bone, and she knows it's pork without eating it.
Malarkey's wife is not a chef, but she seems to be doing OK. They
have the same dish, which is pork chop with prosciutto braised beans,
charred radicchio and fennel fronds. Bryan's sister has called, and
while she is a pastry chef, she doesn't eat fish, which is what she
has. Yellowtail collar with fingerling potatoes, calabrian chilies,
and cilantro salsa verde. She gets the wrong fish, although I don't
know I could tell different species of fish apart. Jen eventually
gets it because there are fins, and it's the collar. Lee Anne's mom
is a good home cook, so she's got some knowledge. She's able to tell
Lee Anne that the steak doesn't have a lot of marbling, which is
actually helpful. Hangar steak marinated in balsamic vinegar with
arugula salad, parmigiano reggiano. Nini is cheating off Geoffrey,
because her mom is telling her the arugula salad isn't peppery.
Melissa's friend thinks she is being helpful but they just decided on
chimichurri which is wrong. Kevin's wife is very specific about
everything. Karen's sister is actually describing the leaf structure
of the cilantro, which is hilarious, but she's wrong about it. I
think Lee Anne grabbed soy sauce, and she doesn't think it's right
because everything else is Italian, but she gets it anyway. When she
tries to plate, her mom is too busy eating and just ignores her. This
is the sound clip where they tried to make it look like her mom
passed out and she was trying to get her attention. Low, putting that
here. Bryan is noticing he is not making the same fish as anyone
else.
Once Padma
calls time, they all get a picture of their dish. Everyone laughs or
celebrates as appropriate. Padma brings in Nancy Silverton and
confirms they were at her Italian restaurant. Bryan has the wrong
fish entirely. So everyone is still getting a chyron for what they
made, but they're all going to be the same. Or at least very similar.
So I'm going to skip them for this in the interest of time. At least
Bryan's dish tastes good. Melissa I think has the wrong chilies but
it's very close. Karen doesn't have salsa verde, or at least she
didn't use much. Jen's loved one told her she had chicken. Jen didn't
listen, thankfully. Geoffrey's dish looks very close, but there is no
balsamic vinegar. Nini is also missing balsamic, as is Lee Anne.
Malarkey's dish looks pretty close. I think there is a problem with
his beans? Nancy tells Stephanie the radicchio is marinated in
balsamic vinegar and rosemary. Eric's looks good. Kevin's wife
actually tasted the rosemary, and the prosciutto in the beans.
Bottom:
Bryan's dish was at least tasty? Melissa had the closest fish,
somehow Lee Anne got close even though she had soy sauce (they said
she got the umami flavor correct). Kevin's wife picked up a lot of
flavors. See, but if you don't eat fish, then you're at a
disadvantage. Plus I think that was the hardest dish. Anyway Kevin
wins, and he gets to call his wife back and tell her that he won.
Time for
the Elimination Challenge. Padma says something about how most chefs
are entrepreneurs. Are they? Sure. Nancy started La Brea Bread, and
she has now started a gelato company. So now everyone has to make
their own signature product. Tomorrow they'll be at the mall, where
they'll be serving a dish showcasing their product. Each diner gets
one ticket, which they will use to select one product to take home.
Whoever sells the most product will be safe from elimination. $600 to
shop. And their loved ones will join them to help! That could be good
or bad.
Shopping
time. Jen has done this before, but not in 24 hours. She's thinking
lemon ginger sauce, in some kind of pho. Kevin is making hot salt, to
make Nashville hot chicken and waffles. Delicious. Nini wants to make
nuoc mam, which is a Vietnamese dipping sauce. It's kind of like
curry, or chili, where everyone has their own recipe. Put on ribs,
which I think is a good idea. She and Kevin commiserate that they're
going to make their loved ones pack the product in jars. Someone
drops a bottle in the checkout line.
I'm not
sure how much cooking is supposed to happen today. First off is
everyone greeting their loved ones. Eric gives his wife flowers that
he bought at Whole Foods. Damn. He's going to make calypso sauce,
which is a Caribbean hot sauce, put on fried dough. Lots of sauces
happening, and so far no one's loved one is completely useless at
chopping or peeling things or whatever. Bryan I think is making
marinara sauce, and I think it's his mom's recipe which should be a
help to his sister. She gives him shit for shaking the table and says
she's being exact since she's a baker. That's why she's making the
pasta. Geoffrey is making pickles to go on chicken in creole sauce.
Lee Anne wants to make mapo sauce. Like mapo tofu. And dumplings. I
think Malarkey bought his wife flowers too. He is making some kind of
relish. He also has too many puns. Melissa is making kimchi peach
vinaigrette. Lee Anne's mom is cleaning shrimp, I think, and then she
just stops. She says she needs to sit down, and almost collapses.
After
commercials, she's sitting down, and everyone is around her, like all
contestants stopped to help out which is nice. Medical has to take
her off set so she can lie down. Just as Lee Anne is saying she'll
have to do this work herself, Stephanie tells her husband she's got
this and he should go help Lee Anne roll out dumpling wrappers. Aww.
I think everyone is coming by to offer to help. But you know, I don't
think there are really any jerks here. This is very much a group that
wants to “beat the best” so they want everyone to do their best.
You know? Jen is having too much fun. Malarkey is freaking out about
filling his jars. Near the end of the day Nini is pouring people
wine. Stephanie is anxious about doing well, as she usually is. Lee
Anne's mom is better, and she just tells her to get some rest.
In the
morning, Malarkey is ranking all of his competitors in his notebook.
Why. What does this have to do with anything, in a competition where
you don't have any control over anyone else? Also he's put himself at
the top, so that's how that marking is. I mean, yeah, Kevin and Bryan
and Melissa are strong competitors. But how does ranking them help
you cook better?
Lee Anne's
mom is back, which is great. Lots of putting stickers on things. This
segment doesn't have a lot happening.
Melissa:
Mel's kimchi-peach vinaigrette, on Korean fried chicken wings. Could
be a little spicier. Lee Anne: Mama Wong's mapo sauce, on shrimp tofu
shiitake dumplings. I think they like the idea that you would save
time by not making sauce from scratch. Kevin: “Hotlanta” hot
salt, on chicken and waffles with peanuts fried in butter. So Kevin
says it's great for making something hot if you don't want to make it
soggy. But then the chicken and waffles is covered in syrup and
butter. I mean that's the way to eat it but...it's soggy. It's a
great dish. Eric: Mighty Calypso pepper sauce, on “doubles”
topped with fried chickpeas and pancetta. A double is a flatbread
sandwich filled with chickpeas, a pretty common street food.
Delicious.
Geoffrey:
GG's Party Pikliz, the spicy Haitian pickle, served with Haitian
Creole chicken, marinated in black pepper, thyme, and clove. The
judges love it, it was homey and showcased the pickles well. Nini:
Nini's Roasted Nuoc Mam Glaze, on braised pork ribs. It's very
pungent but the judges seem to really like it. Karen: E & O
Romesco, on pork belly, almonds, cinnamon romesco and crispy
potatoes. Nancy likes her romesco to be chunkier, and Gail says it's
not as bold as she would like. Malarkey: “S'MILES” citrus fennel
chili tomato relish, on Pacific swordfish with charred lemon and
radicchio slaw. The fish is kind of oily, and he said he wanted it to
be fresh. It's not fresh.
Stephanie:
S & D's vegetarian chili base, in a two bean chili with homemade
cracker, beet and lime pickled onion, cilantro, and scallion. So it
seems like it's not fancy enough? It's basically tomato sauce, no
beans, no meat, so you could use anything, says Tom. Bryan:
Voltaggio's Own Calamari Bolognese, on kale and nori spaghetti. It's
good, but a hard sell. Most people don't buy sauce with the fish
already in it. Jen: Sunny Lemon-Ginger Love, on “Sunny Style”
skirt steak, yogurt, and grilled kale. The texture is terrible,
because ginger doesn't puree smoothly. Tom thinks overall this
challenge is really great. There's a montage of people getting
tickets, and people like Stephanie and Kevin being sad they're not
selling. Everyone says goodbye (aww).
Judges'
Table. Melissa sold the most, and everyone already knows because they
could see people coming to her booth. The top is Gregory, Nini, and
Eric. But Melissa is safe. Padma for some reason tells her they loved
her sauce, but Kevin had better fried chicken. Ouch. Geoffrey has
worked with his mom before. The pickles were delicious, and it paired
really well with the chicken to cut the chicken's richness. Nini's
ribs were cooked really well. She jokes that her mom taught her how
to cook,but now calls her to ask for things. Eric made a new food
that probably no one here has ever had, but it's cravable and
delicious. The winner is Gregory. He's very excited to tell his mom.
Stephanie,
Jen, and Malarkey are the bottom. Malarkey is immediately shocked
because his product sold so well and it tasted better than everyone
else. Stephanie had a decent product, but it wasn't convenient. If
you have to cook the beans, or brown meat, then that's most of the
work of chili. Gail says there was nothing to distinguish it from any
other tomato sauce. Malarkey of course thinks he did great and made
something healthy. Padma thought it was oily. Actually she says “it
ate oily” and I hate that phrasing so I'm not using it. Nancy
thought it was muddled and didn't taste bright and fresh. It's sort
of fresh but there were cooked components in the sauce. Jen loves
ginger and lemon, but you can't puree ginger well and it was a bad
texture. Mixing it with yogurt diluted the flavor.
Tom is
impressed because he's made steak sauce and it took a dozen tries to
get it right, and mostly everyone nailed it today. Stephanie's tomato
sauce was tasteless and watery, but the chili was a nice chili. But
it's not memorable. Tom says that Jen's sauce was bitter, and her
biggest mistake was mixing it with the yogurt. Malarkey cooked his
fish well, but a salsa or relish like that is supposed to “enlighten”
the protein, and this brought it down.
Tom talks
about standing out and “the complete package” and then Jen is
sent home. She says Top Chef has done a lot of good for her. Sure,
she's been on a million times. Plus she got to cook with her sister.
Next time:
the LA Philharmonic, pairs, double elimination, Malarkey is Malarkey.
Last Chance
Kitchen: Jen says she's tough and she's like Rocky. She also is
familiar with the peanut gallery, I think. She did not agree with the
judges, I think because she likes ginger chunks. Also now suddenly
her steak was overcooked. Tom says they can both make sauces, so now
they will see who is better. And so they can focus on sauces, Tom
will cook the proteins. Heh. There is no time on the clock, because
the sauce will need to be ready when Tom is done cooking the protein.
Jen clarifies that he's not making tartare, and he says he's not that
mean. But he WILL go through the fridge and give them shit about thin
cuts. In the end he is nice and picks out a huge tomahawk steak.
Jen thinks
they will have about 20 minutes. Tom is being pretty leisurely. Lisa
wants to be done in half of that time. Some kind of chimichurri with
umami. Jen has a bunch of meat and ginger and a gang of stuff. She
also gets the peanut gallery to find dates for her in the pantry, and
then jokes that she should have turned the stove off when Tom left
the steak unattended. Lisa keeps spying on Tom and loudly asking him
what he's doing. She is claiming she is just tasting her sauce and
putting random things in it. Tom heads for the wood oven, and Jen
freaks out because it's gonna be fast. Lisa almost has too much time,
because she keeps fucking around with her sauce. The steak is out of
the oven and resting, which means not much time left. Jen's trying to
reduce something but it's not doing much. Tom gives them one minute.
I think they both get something done.
Lisa: maggi
chimichurri sauce. Maggi is a brand of sauce that's like soy sauce.
Jen: beef sauce with harissa, lemon, ginger, garlic, and date au jus.
Lisa had a good idea, because maggi is umami. Jen's sauce had good
flavor too, and the dates were good. But Jen's sauce was maybe too
thin, and Lisa's too thick. The winner is Lisa. Boo. Jen knows her
sauce wasn't thick enough. Next week, Lisa will battle someone and
the winner will reenter the competition. So that's how the double
elimination is going to go down.
On What
Would Tom Do? they made
him do the telephone Quickfire game with the host. She is actually
very helpful, with the sizes of lentils and that there are carrots in
there so maybe a mirepoux. And she can tell the difference between
salmon skin and sea trout skin. I mean, to me it looks like salmon,
but it's not maybe? I don't know if I could tell the difference. Tom
is adding a bunch of stuff, like bay leaf and thyme and butter, that
I don't know is in the dish. When she sends the photo Tom says his
looks better. I thought this was going to be annoying and she would
be useless but this was actually competent.
1 comment:
Neither of the LCK sauces looked very well-prepared or appetizing; Lisa (boo) won mainly because she managed to pick a type of sauce which better-suited steak.
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