Project Runway 5/2/13--Reunion summary

Previously on Project Runway: The teams season was supposedly a success, even though clearly it was manufactured drama. Michelle won the season, and now it’s all over but the reunion show and THAT manufactured drama. (click for more)

Zanna gets to host instead of Heidi, I guess. She welcomes everyone, congratulates Michelle, and then points out how Daniel is clean-shaven and his hair is slicked down. He says he is almost 50 so he wanted a change. He seems kind of pissy about it, like he is mad she asked. Who knows.

Clip of when Heidi told all of them it was all teams, all the time. They were not happy, but we knew that. Zanna makes sure we all know how great the team thing is, because heaven forbid we do anything but talk about how genius the producers are. She says it’s great because it’s “real world” and they can all critique each other before the judges. Ben (omg, I had to look up his name is how long this stupid season has been) tells them he might not have auditioned if he’d known it was teams. True. It’s a good point. Samantha and Amanda liked it. Now there is a “Teams from Hell” montage. Ben and Cindy. Oh yeah…Ben micromanaged her a lot. Richard and Patricia, we all remember that one. That was bad, I’ll agree. Michelle and Patricia (and Layana) from when Patricia’s look sucked so bad they couldn’t win. Zanna asks Michelle about why she hated on Patricia for so many weeks. Michelle says that since Patricia is such an artist, it’s hard for her communicate what her final vision is. But now they’re totes BFFs! Patricia claims she never knew that Michelle was saying all that stuff about her.

Amanda brings up a good point from that, which is that there would be people she thought she was fine with, and then watching the show you were surprised at what they said. Clip of Kate saying how Amanda is the weak link. Kate defends herself by saying she’s always the underdog and this made her the outcast? Having to work with sucky Amanda? I’m not sure what she’s trying to say, but Amanda’s bitchface is perfect. They are a giant dysfunctional family. When asked her opinion Amanda just shrugs and says she always thought they were cool, and then says after watching the show, she feels bad for Kate and how she went out. Amanda does say she doesn’t mean that in a condescending way. Clip of Kate’s team telling her what to do, mostly Layana and then Kate interviewing she should go cry in the bathroom if she’s worried. Zanna thinks maybe it’s because Kate’s “the youngest of the group, I don’t want to say ‘immature’ but I just did, so…?” Heh. Stanley says he protected himself by being “a chocolate covered razor blade”. That is a great quote. He also acknowledges how he was a jerk to Tu. Richard and Layana. Oh yes, when she was so bratty and threw him under the bus on the runway. Richard claims that he thought they were cool, and Layana makes a face like he’s a moron. Clip of her argument. She tries to answer by pointing out that he told her she got whatever she wanted because she was pretty. But she did! Richard imitates her doing exactly that, and all she can do is argue that he did what she wanted, so I guess it’s his fault? But there are clips of everyone saying pretty much exactly that, that Layana always gets what she wants. Everyone laughs and no one holds her accountable.

Ben says because of his experience he slips into old roles, not micromanaging like Zanna suggests though. He does tell Cindy that he didn’t realize he was doing it, and once she said something he stopped. I think he did, I don’t remember. No, I think he did. Cindy says she doesn’t buy his bullshit, because while on the runway he told the judges he tried so hard to organize the team and couldn’t do it. That’s what he was trying to do, though, and he says that’s what I tried to do but between the two of us it just didn’t go well. Cindy says that’s how it was for her (not in a bitchy way) and then says she’s more bitter than she thought she was. Is this all the drama that is going to happen? Because that was actually pretty mature, even though it sounds like it might have been exciting.

Zanna claims the team format was designed to make everyone better managers and communicators, and Daniel says sometimes you listen too much to other people. Clip of him helping Layana, and then back to Daniel telling Zanna he’s too nice sometimes. I have really turned against Daniel. Something about that was just annoying, and as much as I am sure the fight between him and Michelle was partially caused by Michelle, I really don’t like when people are all “I am going to be mature and get over this issue, even though no one brought it up. But I brought it up so I can talk about how awesome I am because I am over it.” Who benefitted from having teams? Michelle tries to say something and Richard is like “Pff, she won”. But Michelle was going to say she did not benefit because her team always lost. Ben thinks maybe no one person benefited all the time, but there were several instances where people got carried through by good teammates, even though their own clothes sucked. Daniel’s weird pink dress for Lord & Taylor. That’s true. Amanda admits she floated through sometimes. Stanley says you were supposed to help everyone. Emily said some mean things about Cindy but changed her mind later when Cindy really helped her out. Otherwise she would have sent out a naked model. That’s true, it was nice. Mat (I think he was the first out? Whatever) says maybe a naked model would have been interesting. Oh, now that is true.

Zanna tells everyone how she was so fascinated with how everyone was so nice to each other in the workroom and then shittalk each other in confessional. Montage of this happening, and of course putting clips of the workroom and then interviews right next to each other. Literally like every other clip is Michelle. Richard says he can sew, and Amanda was confused because Kate said she and Michelle and Layana were bitches. Kate admits she just kind of clumped Amanda in with the other two even though Amanda never really did anything. Kate apologizes to Amanda. Layana tries to say what about me? But Kate is like, let’s be real, you’re both bitches. Oh, but Layana is a “nice bitch”. Whatever. Michelle declares herself the queen of one-liners and it’s not “out of malice”. Uh huh. She’s trying to be funny. I mean, yeah, but it wasn’t that funny. Montage of people trying to hug Michelle and her rejecting that. OK, I know that is a controversial thing, but I still think if she doesn’t want you to touch her, then don’t touch her. It doesn’t make her more of a bitch and I don’t recall her hugging anyone when she was happy, certainly not other contestants. So I will defend Michelle in this thing. Kate tells Zanna you have to have claws in this business because no one is a Disney princess. Says Kate as she is wearing a sparkly tiara headband. Just saying. But she does say she regrets what she said about Amanda. No mention of the other two.

Amanda was really shocked when her whole team threw her under the bus that time she flailed last minute with the moss dress, because suddenly she was so terrible and it was such a struggle and whatever. She didn’t think she was such a burden and her interview says she thinks they’re all lying. She wishes she’d stood up for herself. Stanley says she is the sweetest person.

Zanna says she has to bring up the male strippers. Sigh. Yeah, those clothes were terrible. Everyone says their bodies are not model bodies and you’ll notice that every person is complaining about dressing “real” people and yet not one person is offended because it’s men. Patricia complains that Stanley told her to do the woven shirt thing and that’s why her look was terrible, it wasn’t her idea. She also says she told him no, but he wouldn’t listen or something. Patricia goes on to say it was “one of those controlling moments” and Stanley unleashes an epic eyeroll. She could have said no, presented her design, and gone from there. Also a clip of Layana flirting with one of the strippers and her denying it at the reunion. She says she was just trying to make conversation, and then she got pregnant and everyone assumed that she slept with the stripper. Ha.

Everyone agrees that this was harder than they expected. The days are really long, but you spend a lot of time in interviews so you don’t actually have a lot of time. Most of them say this is the hardest thing they’ve done as designers. Kate tried to cry in the shower so she wouldn’t cry in the workroom or on camera. Aww.

Epic meltdowns! That stupid fight between Michelle and Daniel, where she hated his pink fabric but he fixated on the idea that she said 21 year olds wouldn’t buy his clothes, so he decided she said he has to design for 21 year olds and got really bitchy when she wouldn’t admit she said that. Because she didn’t. I guess Richard got shut down and he cried about it? I barely remember that. The season’s been too long. When Layana started crying but it looked super fake and Tim hugged her and I yelled at my TV. Sorry, but I felt she was trying to get sympathy. Zanna asks her what happened, and she just gives a vague answer about how she was insecure and whatever. Daniel told himself he was supposed to go through that to make him a better person. Right. They let Michelle talk about how she didn’t say that, and she was frustrated because he wouldn’t listen, and she’s still mad about it. Oh, they do show how she told him she wanted him to make something beautiful that he wants to make, and then she gives him a hug (so…I guess just don’t touch her when she’s upset? Still behind her on this). Daniel calls her out and says after that, when they were leaving the workroom she said she was still pissed, and I guess he doesn’t think she should have hugged him on camera if she wasn’t 100% over it. Michelle points out that anger doesn’t magically disappear instantly, and she doesn’t even know when the cameras are around anyway. See, I know everyone hates Michelle, but I do know it’s possible to be mad at Daniel’s stupid rant about something you did not actually say, but also to want him to make what he wants to make. I mean, she’s mad about being misquoted, not about him disagreeing with her. Ben and Amanda both insist that Michelle is not fake, which is where this runs right off the rails. Not fake? When she tells Daniel she is not a pink person but she does like his pink and then in confessional says “I hate that pink”? Please. Daniel is like, it’s OK, just like he did when he came back from making his collection and the first thing he did was bring up this same dumbass fight, but then said “oh I’m over it”. Michelle calls him on it and says he always says that, but clearly it is not OK. She is kind of nice about it, and Daniel claims he’s had “a lot of downs” in his life and so he always looks at the positive. Does that include when you are still bitter about things that happened months ago? I mean, not like I never held a grudge for that long, but I didn’t tell everyone I was over it and I’m being positive. He says everyone thanks him for being so open about his problems and he won that way. Fine. Just, his attitude and everything he says right here feels like he’s saying “Everyone look at how great I am”. Michelle was still a bitch to most people though.

Now we congratulate Michelle and have a montage of her looks. OK, her looks where she won, and then when they saved her, even though I didn’t think her look was so bad they’d have to send her home on that. Michelle says after that episode, when she was left in New York while everyone else went to Europe, she almost quit. But she didn’t want to be a loser. In the future she wants to do some collaborations, like with Stanley and how she already worked with Joe to make her sweaters. Then Zanna is like “Patricia! You got second so good for you!” She never won a challenge. Then we talk to Stanley about how he was so unprepared. He’d finished a lot, but then the judges wanted him to change everything so much he just couldn’t catch up. Daniel watches the clip of his elimination and he cries again. Zanna says he’s lovable.

Montage of judges’ comments, which are the lesser for not including Kors. Samantha thinks Zac understood her and was rooting for her. Especially since she was eliminated on an episode when he was gone. Someone says Christian was a good judge. Stanley thinks Nina was rooting for him. Michelle doesn’t think anyone liked her. Tim liked her, but he wasn’t a judge. But she won, so clearly they thought she was good. Heidi constantly stood up for Patricia, which I always thought was kind of crazy but it’s Heidi. Everyone loved when Bette Midler was on.

Tim time montage! Titled “Gunn Control” which is kind of lame. But it’s about Tim so it’s fun vocab time. They all know he cares about them. He knows everyone’s aesthetic. Zanna reveals that the official story is that Tim is the one who convinced the judges to save Michelle that time. Huh. I still don’t know if I agree with that, but I’m not that upset about it.

Anything you would have done differently? Cindy says she would have worked on her own stuff more, instead of helping everyone else on the team. She was trying to bring them up, but clearly that didn’t work because they kept losing. Stanley would have spent more time on his collection (obvs). Tu would speak up more.

How has the show changed your life? Stanley gets hit on at the gym. Hee. Mat is all, I get picked up less. Amanda says she was out with her (famous) brother and some random girls came up to them, and she expected they wanted a picture with him but they were her fans instead. Aww, that was cute. Tu gets recognized, and then Zanna points out the crazy heels he has on. The kind where they’re like, platforms, and they don’t actually have heels on them? You know.

Advice for next season? Because there is one, of course? Don’t compromise, follow your heart, check your ego at the door (from Daniel of all people), bring your knives. And we’re done! Finally! It’s over!!

Well…that wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. Daniel notwithstanding. But who cares! It’s done. Thanks to everyone for reading. I hope you are as ready for a break as I am.