Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Top Chef 11/30/11--"Don't Be Tardy for the Dinner Party" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: a Quickfire with chilies rewarded people with guts, as Paul used ghost chilies in a soup, to earn $20,000 and immunity. Then the chefs went through a chili cook-off. They had all night to cook, which was nice, but they had to be in groups, which was minorly irritating. Richie, Nyesha, and Beverly had the idea to make mole chili, which did not turn out well. As a result, they had to reuse their chili to make another dish. Beverly did this well, while Nyesha and Richie did not. In the end, Richie was sent home, and was very upset about it. (click for more)

And then after he was sent home, he went to Last Chance Kitchen and was soundly defeated by Keith. He unfortunately suffers from a common problem with molecular gastronomists, which is making things that are all flash with nothing to back it up. And Tom is not impressed by that.

Everyone sits around after the rodeo, and Padma comes to see them. They all kind of freak out, but Padma is just telling them that tomorrow they’ll be moving to Dallas. I don’t know why they didn’t just stay in one spot, but whatever.

Everyone packs and seems to get along with each other. MotoChris is called “Ugly Chris” for some reason, but he just kind of laughs.

Are they driving themselves? Guess so. The car ride involves getting to know each other. Ed talks about his wife, and Ty-Lor talks about his boyfriend. He has a 70’s mustache and matching sunglasses. Beverly has a ton of ink all up her arm. Weird. I would not have thought she would have tattoos. Chris has lost 70 pounds. I don’t think he looked that bad before, but apparently everyone gave him shit when he was in a magazine, so he was shamed into losing the weight.

So now everyone is magically on some side road, in the middle of nowhere, with no other traffic. Because they just “happened” to get off the highway and this is totally the way to Dallas, I guess we’re supposed to believe. Bravo got a cop to block off the road and stand there waiting for them in a vaguely menacing fashion. Dakota reveals that she has an unpaid speeding ticket in Texas. Why did you decide to come to Texas if you thought you had a warrant? They all pull over, supposedly because they don’t have insurance or driver’s licenses. This is stupid. Just give them directions to drive to the middle of nowhere. Of course when the cop says to pull over Heather decides to pull off the road into a field. Padma and John Besh wait for them by some picnic tables. Chris C. talks about how John Besh is hot. I know, right? Anyway, the Quickfire is to cook in the middle of this field with military survival kits. Winner gets $5000 and immunity.

30 minutes to cook. MotoChris runs straight across the empty field to the corn field to take some corn. Ed feels this is ridiculous. That is how Quickfires work. Also it’s windy so the camp stoves are not working as well as they could be. People trade up cans for things they want. Whitney whines that she would never cook with this food ever. There’s always one. Lindsay is using canned sausages in honor of her dad. Ed, in addition to being irritated, is offended by everyone making “camp food”. Then he says he threw out his back. MotoChris has dry corn.

MotoChris: fried chicken on lemongrass noodle. Chuy: he says it’s “Chuy’s Dirty Mouth, Dirty Rice”. Padma asks if she wants to eat that, and he says in all seriousness “You do. You do.” Basmati rice, black eyed peas, with smoked trout. Grayson: pickled herring with hearts of palm, dates, and herring juice. Mmm, herring juice. Lindsay: triple club with tuna and sardines in French onion soup with Vienna sausage. The “triple club” is made with saltines instead of bread. Ty-Lor: black pepper chicken stew with garbanzo beans and rice. Sarah: dried beef and pineapple rice, applesauce, and hearts of palm. Chris C.: spicy garbanzo beans with tofu and crab. I want to know what was originally in these kits. Whitney: beer and peach glazed chicken with green bean casserole. Ed: Thai peanut soup with salmon, tofu, and fried shrimp. Paul: pork and beans with coffee and basmati rice. Dakota: sweet and spicy noodles with crab meat and pineapple juice.

Whitney’s chicken and green beans were straight out of the can. Dakota’s dish was too sweet. Chris C. somehow managed to have raw tofu and crab. Ed’s detail was perfect, Lindsay’s dish looked scary but was delicious, Chuy used canned smoked trout which was also delicious. The winner is Lindsay. Ed looks pissed and says that her sandwich looked dry. Ed, I’ll give you that you’re in pain, but seriously. You aren’t making yourself look good.

For the Elimination challenge, they’re going to Highland Park. They will have to make all the food for a progressive dinner party that three neighbors are having. A progressive dinner is where you start in one location, and have maybe appetizers and salad, then you go to the next place and have the main course, and then to another place for dessert. Generally the work gets split between the hosts. Ty-Lor name drops some people and tells us he knows how rich people think. Padma divides them into teams based on where they’re standing; five people for appetizers, five for entrée, and four for dessert. Dakota bitches that she’s stuck with dessert again. Then for some reason Padma emphasizes that this is an individual elimination challenge. So I guess they’re not really “teams”.

They’re staying in a hotel in Dallas, and I’m not sure if this is permanent or just for today. It’s a sweet hotel, though.

Kim and Justin Whitman own the “appetizer house”. This team seems to be MotoChris, Whitney, Paul, Lindsay, and Sarah. Whitney talks about how poor she used to be. Of course, the wife writes party planning books. Sarah asks if there’s a theme, and Kim says they thought about having them make all pink food. The boys look horrified for about 5 seconds before she says they don’t have to make pink food. Then she lists the things she doesn’t like: bell peppers, cilantro, stinky food, food that gets stuck in your teeth, things that are hard to eat. Also she is not adventurous.

The “entrée house” belongs to Kari and Troy Kloewer. Ty-Lor, Chuy, Nyesha, Heather, and Beverly. Troy likes spicy, Kari does not. She also does not like cilantro or raspberries. Troy loves beef, but Kari is a vegetarian. It’s wacky! But at least she told them now that she doesn’t eat meat. Spoiler: this is never mentioned again. Chuy says this kind of thing is why he doesn’t cater. He’d rather the people come to his restaurant where he can kick them out.

Dessert, Kameron and Court Westcott. Jesus. This group is Ed, Grayson, Chris C., and Dakota. They ask for fudge and bananas, and something that is worth every calorie. Court (or maybe Kameron, because holy crap these names), the boy anyway, says that he has a gummi bear addiction. Ed can’t believe that rich people would like something so low-brow. Anyway, at least these two don’t have any restrictions.

30 minutes to shop, $250. Ty-Lor is glad to be on his own. Paul claims that from his experience with high-end clients, you can’t give them what you want. Sounds like he’s going to give them what they want and get in trouble. Chris C. has an untested cupcake recipe.

Two hours to cook, possibly for everyone? For sure for appetizers. Chris C. reminds us that baking is precise and scientific. MotoChris wants to make a dish that looks like a cigar. Paul says you have to impress the lady, because the husband just kind of goes along with things. Beverly is hogging the sink, according to Heather, who asks her if she can take a colander out of the sink. In the same sentence she moves from “Beverly is using the whole sink” to “Beverly has taken over the entire kitchen and isn’t that rude”. Nyesha gets in on it too, as Beverly has moved a pot and a strainer. On the one hand, it’s a big pot that is just full of water and nothing’s happening. On the other hand, I’m sure a pot that size will take some time to get to temperature. On the third hand, don’t move other people’s things without asking, Beverly. Ed is very cranky and superior today, because he says he refuses to base his dessert for 12 on the likes of two people. Who like fudge! So pedestrian! Whatever, dude, fudge is delicious. He admits to the other people in his kitchen that when the couple was talking about bananas and fudge he flat out stopped listening. Lindsay is putting roasted and raw items together in a salad for balance. Paul and MotoChris are worried.

Appetizers are served. MotoChris: roasted chicken cigar with sweet corn, collard greens, and cumin “ash”. It does actually look like a green cigar, I suppose. Or dolmades, if you squint. Sarah: grilled Roman-style artichokes with date puree, pecans, and mint. Lindsay: roasted and raw beet salad with chickpeas and Greek vinaigrette. Whitney: seared scallop over sweet corn puree, succotash, and zucchini. Paul: fried Brussels sprouts with prosciutto and Madras-spiced crème fraiche. Everyone comes up to the table to serve themselves. There is a weird spate of small talk where someone just got married and had 900 people there, and Gail had joked about 700. Or something. MotoChris’s dish had good flavors but dry. And you don’t eat cigars. The artichokes are delicious, as are Lindsay’s beets (but not Lindsay’s other components). The Brussels sprouts turned out very well too. Whitney’s scallop is boring. Justin says some of the dishes were great, but some needed work, and then Tom busts out “So, close but no cigar?” and you know he’s been working on that line ever since MotoChris said he was serving a cigar. Can’t blame him though.

Chuy thinks he’s overcooked the salmon. Ty-Lor says he and Heather are friends and it’s so nice to have her around. So one of them should be leaving soon. He tries to get his presentation to look better. Everyone serves family-style which is nice. Heather: garlic and rosemary grilled lamb chops with garbanzo beans and mint chimichurri. Chuy: sockeye salmon fillet stuffed with goat cheese cream and avocado. Each fillet is in a corn husk boat. Beverly: pan seared scallop with creamy polenta and crispy garlic. Ty-Lor: grilled pork tenderloin with summer slaw. Nyesha: roasted fillet of beef with vegetable mélange and red wine sauce. Chuy’s salmon was mild, but one of the guests likes it. Beverly’s dish goes over very well. Ty-Lor’s dish is sloppy and a little dry. Heather overcooked her lamb chops. Nyesha’s red wine sauce looks too much like blood. I don’t think anyone is excited.

Dakota is making a milkshake, but for some reason doesn’t have anything to serve it in? So she’s making cups out of dates? OK. Chris C. has too many things. Dakota: banana bread pudding with peanut butter cups, banana mousse, and a date banana milkshake in a date cup. Chris C.: strawberry cupcake with banana custard and chocolate icing. And mint chocolate chip ice cream. Ed: cardamom-scented panna cotta, cantaloupe consommé, and raspberries stuffed with basil pudding. Grayson: chocolate sponge cake, caramelized bananas, and crushed chocolate-covered pretzels, and semifreddo of some kind. Ed’s presentation is compared to Elmo and is also called “jiggly”. Grayson’s dish is declared rich, although Tom gets a dig in about being too rich in Dallas and how that’s impossible. They love Chris C.’s cupcake, but Tom busts out the line of “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything”. Dakota’s dessert is worth the calories.

Commercial interlude: Chuy tells many stories about his dad and they seem to tend to outlandish. Everyone else makes fun of him.

Padma collects Sarah, Grayson, Paul, and Dakota. These are the top four. Everyone freaks out so much that I wonder how much self doubt had to be floating around. Grayson’s pretzels worked really well with her dessert. Sarah’s flavors all worked together. Dakota’s bread pudding was nostalgic and comforting. Paul’s dish had lots of texture. The winner is Paul, who listened to what the clients wanted. Huh. Usually the person who listens is in trouble. Think of all those Project Runway challenges. Good for him, though.

The bottom four are MotoChris, Ty-Lor, Chris C., and Chuy. Chris C.’s cupcake had way too much going on, and he says he was trying to listen to what the clients wanted, and here is the “I listened to everything the client said and gave them all of it” person. John Besh says to listen, but then edit. Ty-Lor admits he was not satisfied with his dish, because it was not clean. They nail him on proportions and knife skills. Chuy says he’s made his dish before, and Gail tells him that the salmon was overcooked and the goat cheese turned mealy. He says that he had to cook the salmon to well-done so that the cheese would get hot in the center, and Tom immediately says if he has to overcook the salmon to get the cheese to where he wants it, why is that a good dish? No response. MotoChris talks about taking a risk and going for it. Tom feels that this was not the best thing for the ingredients. MotoChris was too caught up in the gimmick and so didn’t think about things like, in order to wrap the cigars he had to leave the stringy parts of the collard greens.

Tom thinks Chuy should have been able to adjust his dish so that everything was cooked properly. There wasn’t much redeeming value in that dish. The cigar was apparently too big and greasy and not elegant, according to Gail. He couldn’t make it work. Chris C.’s dish didn’t make any sense and nothing went together. Ty-Lor also seemed to throw a ton of things together with no thought.

Tom explains how all these dishes sucked, and then Padma sends Chuy home. Wait, what? Really? Well that was out of left field. John Besh, in a random clip, says it was overcooked salmon in a non-thought-out dish. Chuy says he was the youngest, but went pretty far and he seems in fair spirits.

Next week: a ranch, steaks, Ty-Lor cuts himself and goes to the hospital which I’m sure will result in weeks of people bitching about what a wuss he is, Sarah bitches about Beverly being slow.

Last Chance Kitchen: Chuy and Keith travel to a butcher to pick up some beef. They each get some ribs, and Tom tells them they must cut 5 bone-in ribeyes, and then cook one perfect medium-rare steak. They have 45 minutes to do this. There is an example for butchering. Keith has made a small mistake in butchering, with slightly uneven cooking. Chuy took the fat cap off the rack, but his bones are cleaner and the seasoning is good. Tom says that they are pretty much equal, but one tiny thing, because Keith seared the steak a little too much on one side, he is out. Chuy gets to stay. Boo. I like Keith.
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Monday, November 28, 2011

TAR19, Recap Leg 10, 11/27/11

Welcome to Leg 10! Last time, on Are You Copenhanging In There?, teams raced from Denmark to Germany to Belgium. Tommy got mad, Sandy got sick, and there was much body building. Amani and Marcus finished first, and were surprised to start the next leg. . . immediately! Who will be eliminated . . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Amani/Marcus, Team Football
2nd – Ernie/Cindy, Team Chinatown
3rd – Jeremy/Sandy, Team Tryout
4th – Andy/Tommy, The Snowboarders
5th – Bill/Cathi, The Grandparents

Parc Elisabeth, Brussels, Belgium

(And for those of you regular readers (or do I just type this for my own enjoyment?) my prediction of the body building finishes were correct, so I’d put them here, but they’d just be redundant.)

Amani/Marcus (1st)

Clue: Teams drive themselves to the Ford Proving Grounds in Lommel, Belgium.

(Toyouke: “Why does Ford have proving grounds in Belgium?” Kmanpat: “Why not? It’s good for product placement.” Auburnium0513: “So maybe THIS leg has the car as the prize? It will be a Mustang?”)

Ernie/Cindy (2nd)
Jeremy/Sandy (3rd) – and Sandy says “prah-ving”. (Toyouke: “Are they all mispronouncing "proving"?”)
Andy/Tommy (4th)
Bill/Cathi (5th)

Teams arrive at the Proving Grounds in the following order:

1- Amani/Marcus
2- Ernie/Cindy
3- Jeremy/Sandy
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Bill/Cathi

And once they arrive, teams get the eleventh roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

“Who wants to play with the Ponies?”

In this roadblock, one team member must don racer apparel and drive a Ford Mustang through three challenges: a speed task in order to get their car to 100 mph and bring to a full stop, a slalom test that must be completed perfectly in 16 seconds, and two victory donuts. Once complete, the professional will hand them their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Ernie – who can’t seem to stop properly. (Toyouke: “Ernie keeps hitting the balloon. How often does he rear-end people in real life?”)
2- Jeremy
3- Marcus
4- Tommy – who made Andy ridiculously jealous by doing this task. (Toyouke: “Don't use your jealousy to talk about how awesome you are because you're Christian, Andy.”)
5- Bill

After much car racing, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Jeremy/Sandy
3- Amani/Marcus
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Bill/Cathi

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to Gent, Belgium and find the Hoofdbrug on Burgstraat to get their next clue

Teams arrive at Hoofdbrug in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Jeremy/Sandy
3- Amani/Marcus
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Bill/Cathi

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Water OR Waffles
*Water: Teams use the provided materials to construct a raft and travel the waterways of Gent to pick up two halves of their next clue.
*Waffles: Teams build a waffle stand and then bake 18 waffles to the approval of the waffle manager to get their next clue.

(Auburnium0513: “Waffles all the way!” Toyouke: “I have to agree, waffles are delicious.” Kmanpat: “But the rafting looks like the less challenging task. You know, aside from making a floating object.”)


1- Ernie/Cindy choose Waffles
2- Jeremy/Sandy choose Waffles
3- Amani/Marcus choose Water – after walking past Waffles and deciding that it’s probably too difficult. Marcus: “Too bad Laurence isn’t here to show us how it’s done.” (Toyouke: “Oh, Marcus. I'm sure Laurence would have screwed this up.”)
4- Andy/Tommy choose Water
5- Bill/Cathi choose Water – after walking past Waffles and deciding that it’s probably too difficult.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Amani/Marcus
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Bill/Cathi

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to De Muur Van Geraardsbergen to get their next clue.

Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Amani/Marcus
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Bill/Cathi

Teams now have to work with a pigeon trainer to release homing pigeons. The teams are then given an address to drive to in order to meet up with their pigeons and get their Pit Stop Clue. Teams arrive at their addresses in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy (Stoofstraat 52 Beersel)
2- Jeremy/Sandy (Stoofstraat 52 Beersel)
3- Ernie/Cindy (Steenweg op Ukkel 75 Beersel)
4- Amani/Marcus (Steenweg op Ukkel 75 Beersel)
5- Bill/Cathi (Not Shown)

Teams are now given a picture of the Atomium in Brussels, the PIT STOP of the tenth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

(Toyouke and Auburnium0513: “We love the little tiny clue!!!” Kmanpat: “They had me at ATOMIUM!!!”)

1- Andy/Tommy – who win 2 customizable Ford Mustangs.
2- Jeremy/Sandy
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Bill/Cathi

And Bill and Cathi are sadly eliminated, which is the first time in a long time that an older team has made it this far. (TAR history note: last time was Fran and Barry in TAR9).

ORDER NOW:
1st – Andy/Tommy
2nd – Jeremy/Sandy
3rd – Ernie/Cindy
4th – Amani/Marcus

Next week: Pandemonium in Panama! And there are clues on dresses! (Toyouke: “Writing clues on the skirts of dancers is too advanced for this group.”) Until next time!
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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Top Chef 11/23/11--"Red Hot Chili Cookoff" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the chefs divided into two teams, to cook for some poor girl’s quincianera. Although, she seemed to enjoy the food so maybe this is like a dream come true for her? I know if Top Chef contacted me and said “Hey, can we come film you and cook for your birthday?” I wouldn’t hesitate to agree. Keith bought pre-cooked shrimp, and then made enchiladas with flour tortillas. I always get flour tortillas with my enchiladas, but then again, I’m not eating at any fine dining establishments when I do. Sarah and Lindsay tried to run the show, and they tried to throw Keith under the bus (as they knew he shouldn’t do that but let him anyway) but the shrimp thing proves too much for him to overcome and he is eliminated. (click for more)

But Keith won his Last Chance Kitchen challenge so hopefully he’ll last a while.

Everyone relaxes on the patio while Sarah and Lindsay try to defend themselves. Not that people are really going after them, but they are adamant that they did not turn on Keith. Sarah especially says Keith didn’t go home for the shrimp, which is maybe not the best defense since she got in more trouble for not telling him not to use flour tortillas. Well, maybe not “trouble” per se. Sarah says in confessional that in group challenges she’s looking out for herself. Wonderful. Ty-Lor says something to the effect of “put something good on the plate or shut the fuck up” which is hysterical since he almost went home just now for not putting anything good on the plate.

For the Quickfire, all are greeted by baskets of chilies and thermometers. I would assume the thermometers are there to determine hotness, but there are also dollar amounts for some reason. Hotter chilies have higher dollar amounts. Padma introduces the guest judges: Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger. Nice. Padma tells them risk will be rewarded. Damn, there are ghost chilies on that table. You must create a dish highlighting one chili pepper. The pepper you choose determines how much money you can win. Obviously a milder chili is easier to work with, but then if you win, you get less prize money.

30 minutes to cook. Beverly is just picking up chilies and eating them raw. She’s going for a mild chili because that will make the best tasting dish. Richie is not going much past jalapeno. MotoChris (I don’t remember his last name and that’s how I tell the two Chris’s apart anyway) looks like he’s going for manzano chilies, which I’ve never heard of but they look like Scotch Bonnets. Heather takes Thai chilies to pickle. Chuy only goes for habaneros, but he makes them all the time. Actually, I think several people are working with them. Paul wants to impress the judges, so he takes the ghost chili. Good luck with that, dude. Beverly actually has not cooked her chilies.

Beverly: Anaheim chili crudite with ssamjiang paste. Ssamjiang is a spicy Korean paste. Sarah: salmon belly seared with Fresno chili relish. Richie: Fresno slaw with pineapple curd and seared bay scallops. MotoChris: seared chicken with manzano vinaigrette. Chris C: coconut soup with Thai chili. Heather: date and pistachio cous cous, pickled cucumbers, red onions, and Thai chilies. Chuy: sautéed scallop with achiote and habaneros. Grayson: habanero popper with cheddar cheese and cream cheese lime sauce. Nyesha: baby fennel and rock shrimp with orange and habanero vinaigrette. Paul: chilled coconut soup with kaffir lime, and ghost pepper relish.

Beverly didn’t do enough with her chilies. Richie had great presentation but everything was sweet and not hot enough. Chuy had a dish that spoke to the two women but he used canned tomato and it overpowered the chilies. Good dishes were Heather, who had good punch with the Thai chilies; Grayson, who made poppers and so obviously showcased the pepper; and finally Paul, the risk taker. Paul ends up as the winner, with $20,000 and immunity.

For the Elimination challenge, we are having a chili cook-off. Interesting. Everyone gets a pot, because of course there are teams. WHY?!?! I don’t want to have team challenges all the damn time. I mean, none would be boring, and I won’t pretend I don’t like the drama, but if you’re going to have a team challenge every week then it’s obvious you’re only doing it in hopes of a fight. And it does get really boring. There are teams of three, but at least they aren’t restricted in what kind of chili they have to make. Like, beans, no beans, whatever. Chris C. is worried to be on Sarah’s team, because even though he was the first one to throw Keith under the bus, which he did when Sarah asked him about things, he is nervous she might do the same to him. Also a good thing for them, they have all night to cook. At the Top Chef house. Service is at 7pm tomorrow at the Tejas Rodeo. They have to serve 200 cowboys, and they will pick the winner. Interesting.

Everyone runs to Whole Foods to buy brisket. Somehow Paul and Dakota get out shouted and Dakota (uh…possibly it’s Whitney) complains that she was the first one up there. It’s hard to tell, but possible. She has to buy short ribs. Sarah buys a bunch of stuff and tells Chris C. it’s for cornbread. He tells her they haven’t bought all the things for the chili (and it seems they’ve overspent) and she gets bitchy and says she’s just putting it on the conveyor belt. Sarah, that’s where you put things you want to buy. You can’t buy any of your cornbread stuff. She completely ignores him and says she wants to see what it costs. Edward worries they might not have enough food.

It’s just before 4pm. Everyone rushes the kitchen. Nyesha’s team has a plan: Richie grabs pots, Beverly takes produce, and Nyesha, clever girl, takes all the beer. MotoChris sets up in the fireplace outside, and Ed claims space there too. Negotiations begin for fireplace space, equipment, whatever people want. Sarah, Chris C., and Chuy are the Green Team. She says they are making chili con carne with roasted corn. So I guess she didn’t get her cornbread. Red Team (Whitney, MotoChris, Dakota) are braising brisket and short ribs. Nyesha, Richie, and Beverly (Black Team) are making mole chili with cornbread. Oh, man, if I saw that on a menu I would order it in a heartbeat. Don’t disappoint me, you guys. Blue Team (Ed, Heather, Paul) celebrates because they got the grill to close.

Everyone is working away when Tom appears out of nowhere. Nyesha says she has “minimal” experience with chili, even though earlier she was complaining about carrying her team. Ty-Lor, Grayson, and Lindsay (White Team) also have short ribs and brisket, which they are grilling in the fireplace. Heather knows that even though cowboys will be choosing the winner, it’s the judges who will be choosing the loser. For some reason she is pickling peaches. Tom is skeptical.

Round about 11pm everyone is just watching pots, so there is a fair amount of horsing around. Also dazed working. Ed opens a bottle of wine by slamming the base of the wine bottle on a pillar until the cork flies out. Interesting. Chuy is drinking beer and babbling. At 1am people are still working, transferring mixtures into different pots, and whatnot. If I have to simmer things longer than 10 minutes I get bored and don’t cook that recipe anymore so this is foreign to me. At 3am Nyesha declares the Black Team finished. Sarah gives up at 5 and goes to shower and get some sleep.

Everyone is dragging in the morning. However when they get ready to go there is a lot of fake hooting and hollering. They seem to pile into cars, so is this rodeo far out of town? I’m not sure what the schedule for today is. The conversation in the cars involves both screaming cowboys and Armor-all on steers.

Everyone gets a cowboy hat! They’ve only got one hour to prep, but they can still heat the chili slowly so it doesn’t burn. Someone also has to stir it. Ty-Lor says he loves people. There is a ton of last minute tasting and adjusting of flavors and secret sauces being poured into pots and so forth.

As people line up, there is a shot of a very small child, all dressed up in his cowboy hat and jeans, with a competitor number pinned to his shirt. And he is running up the hill to get in line. So cute! There are some serious people, and then there’s the girl in the shiny dress with the colors. Honey, that is not your dress. Everyone schmoozes and tries to get votes. Chuy is pleased to be able to promise everyone they did not put beans in their chili so it’s proper Texas chili.

Gail is here today. I like Gail. She asks Tom to open her beer (due to a loss of feeling in her finger caused by a bagel accident) but Tom fails. However Padma succeeds which should surprise no one. Green Team: chili con carne, no beans, and roasted corn, onion, and avocado garnish. Tom says it grows on you the more you eat it. Gail wishes it was thicker, and Mary Sue thinks there should have been tortillas or chips. Or possibly cornbread? Damn Sarah for being right. Red Team: braised brisket and short rib chili. It appears to have cheddar cheese. It’s smoky and spicy, but a little stringy.

Blue Team: smoked brisket chili with summer pickles (peaches, radishes, haricot vert). And pork rinds. Gail raves about the peaches, but Tom thinks the chili itself isn’t that great. Black Team: “chili mole” with cornbread. They have fantastic cornbread, and maybe the chili didn’t get to where it could have been, but it reminds everyone of mole. White Team: three bean and beef chili, with poblano cornbread. They put pickled vegetables in the chili, and the judges are torn.
Tom says it would be hard to choose a winner, but they still have to choose a loser. Tom picks Black Team, because mole is not chili. The Red Team also had stringy meat, however their flavor was better than the White Team.

Everyone gets to stay and watch some of the rodeo which is cool. In the middle of the whole thing Beverly loses it because she misses her husband so much. Nyesha tries for “I feel for her but man up” and mostly succeeds. Padma gets to ride a horse, which she does fairly well. Chris C. likens her to Fabio for some reason. Because she is “pure beauty”. The winner is the Green Team. Padma then calls out the Black Team as the worst. Oo, harsh. Then she says they’re going to get one last chance to prove they belong, which is to transform the losing chili into a winning dish, in 30 minutes. The three of them bust out of the stands to cook.

Everyone is tired and I think they’re all really worried. This is an interesting twist. I think all of them are using the sauce/broth from the chili to coat something else. Beverly: seared tuna with habanero creamed corn. Nyesha: Frito-encrusted black tiger shrimp with roasted corn salsa. Richie: Frito-encrusted pork tenderloin, potato hash, ricotta cheese chili puree. Everyone used the chili as a sauce.

Richie’s dish lacked seasoning and brightness. Nyesha did a great job, but didn’t put enough sauce on the plate. Beverly used the mole really well, and they think the other two were embarrassed by the sauce.

Commercial interlude: Gail says they’re assholes for making the losing team cook again. Tom agrees. That was cute.

Beverly fixed the flaws in the chili, while at the same time making a new dish, so she is safe. Nyesha’s dish didn’t go far enough, while Richie’s dish never came together. Richie is out. Aww. By the time they get back to the other chefs he’s in tears. He apologizes to MotoChris because he feels he failed Moto. MotoChris is super supportive and it’s so sad.

Next week: everyone goes to Dallas, where John Besh greets them in a field and Chris C. talks about how John Besh is hot.

Last Chance Kitchen: Richie and Keith must make a dish from Thanksgiving leftovers. Nice. They have to use at least three dishes that are currently on the table. Richie freaks out a little bit, since he just got sent home on a “repurposing” challenge. Keith serves turkey and sweet corn hash, ham fritter with stuffing and blue cheese, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie smear. Richie: turkey, green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese fritter, and cornbread puree. Something…is pink. There is a pink puree that is an unfortunate Pepto Bismol color. It seems to be cranberry mousse frozen in liquid nitrogen. In the end, Richie’s dish looks out there, but is actually not that inventive. So Keith remains to battle again.
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Monday, November 21, 2011

TAR19, Recap Leg 9, 11/20/11

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on The Rabbit Of Caerbannog Has Sharp Pointy Teeth!, teams raced from Malawi to Denmark. Amani and Marcus used their intelligence to surmise that no one in their right mind would take any flight but the one provided by the producers, but have mad rabbit racing skills, and therefore beat Zac, who cannot dance but looks hot in fifteenth century clothing, and his father, who can’t navigate Denmark. And the father-son were eliminated. Who will be eliminated . . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Ernie/Cindy, Team Chinatown
2nd – Bill/Cathi, The Grandparents
3rd – Andy/Tommy, The Snowboarders
4th – Amani/Marcus, Team Football
5th – Jeremy/Sandy, Team Tryout

Havet Ship, Copenhagen, Denmark

9:01 AM Ernie/Cindy (1st)

Cindy wonders if her parents have a problem with Ernie because she is first generation Chinese American and Ernie is not Chinese. (Toyouke: “Uh oh. Cindy's talking about her life.“)

Clue: Teams drive themselves to the Hans Christian Anderson Statue to get their next clue. You have $350 for this leg of the race.

10:34 AM Bill/Cathi (2nd)
10:39 AM Andy/Tommy (3rd) – Tommy: “Are You Copen-hanging in there?” Andy: “I’m copin’ and hangin’.”
11:43 AM Amani/Marcus (4th)
12:08 PM Jeremy/Sandy (5th) – Jeremy has a 6 year old at home.

Teams arrive at the statue in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Jeremy/Sandy

And once they arrive, teams get the tenth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

“Who’s ready to take a fairy tale ride?”

In this roadblock, one team member must memorize the poem on the base of the statue. Then, the roadblocker picks a bike with a map on it and travels to Teatermuseet I Hofteatret. Teams then perform the poem for a period critic in order to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Ooo. Another "memorize this statement" task. And having the map on the bike wheel? That is pretty evil.” Kmanpat: “You know, that’s an Amazing Plaque. The quote is not always on the statue.”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Cindy
2- Cathi – (Toyouke: “English teacher FTW! How hilarious would it have been if Cathi had already memorized the poem during her teaching career?”)
3- Tommy
4- Amani – who proceeds to get distracted by Marcus while memorizing. (Toyouke: “How is distracting your teammate now a good strategy?”)
5- Sandy

After much performing, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Amani/Marcus
3- Bill/Cathi
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Jeremy/Sandy

Teams are no instructed to drive themselves to Billund, Denmark to get their next clue in Legoland!

Teams arrive at Legoland in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Amani/Marcus
3- Bill/Cathi
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Amani/Marcus

Teams make their way to the Pirate Carousel, where they pick up a puzzle to put together. They must only assemble the puzzle on the ride while the ride is in motion. Once the puzzle is assembled correctly, teams will have their next destination displayed, Hamburg Hauptbahnhof.

Teams complete their puzzles in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Amani/Marcus
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Jeremy/Sandy – who lose pieces and have to get a new puzzle.
5- Bill/Cathi

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to Hamburg Hauptbahnhof to get their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Andy/Tommy – Tommy: “You know what they say about big maps – lots of places to go.”
3- Amani/Marcus
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Bill/Cathi

Teams are now instructed to take the train to Brussels, Belgium and make their way to the European Parliament Building to get their next clue. Ernie and Cindy find out that the only train available goes through Cologne and leaves at 12:30 am. So they get tickets, and promptly lose them. They get on the train anyway, and somehow avoid getting arrested by both the Germans and the Belgians. (Toyouke: “No one checked for tickets. I call bullshit. That is just like Anya losing her money and suddenly they throw money at the contestants for no reason.” Auburnium0513: “At least they did pay for tickets.”)

Teams arrive in Brussels in the following order:

1- Bill/Cathi
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Jeremy/Sandy

Teams take taxis to the Parliament Building and arrive in the following order:

1- Bill/Cathi
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Jeremy/Sandy

Teams are now instructed to travel to Concert Noble and don speedos and tanning oil to compete in a body building competition. Teams need to learn a series of moves and score 12 points from a panel of 3 judges in order to get their next clue.

Teams arrive and get their clue in the following order:

1- Bill/Cathi – (Toyouke: “Cathi looks pretty good. Actually so does Bill.”)
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Ernie/Cindy – (Toyouke: “Ernie, no one in the audience is intimidated by your muscles or your bikini.” Kmanpat: “I’ll take one, please.”)
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Amani/Marcus

Teams complete the task in speedos in the following order:

1- Amani/Marcus
2- Ernie/Cindy
3- Jeremy/Sandy

Teams are now instructed to travel to Parc Elisabeth and find the gazebo, the PIT STOP of the ninth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Amani/Marcus – who win a trip for two to Panama.

And the leg is over . . . but leg 10 is beginning!

ORDER NOW:
1st – Amani/Marcus
2nd – Ernie/Cindy
3rd – Jeremy/Sandy
4th – Andy/Tommy
5th – Bill/Cathi

Next week: More racing in Belgium! There’s boating and test tracks. And trash talking. (Toyouke: “I do enjoy some good trash talking.”) And the Atomium!!!! Until next time!
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Top Chef 11/16/11--"Quincianera" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: Finally everyone is in, two people from the bubble group got in, and we have our 16. Now we can get down to business. (click for more)

So I guess they’re not going to talk about the “Last Chance Kitchen” thing. Janine and Andrew competed to make pizza in 30 minutes. The winner of each week will survive, and compete against whoever gets eliminated the next week, up until the finale. Then they’ll get back into the competition. It also sounds like they won’t be telling any of the contestants that this is a thing. Tom is the lone judge and decision maker. Andrew made pizza without cheese, but with calamari and arugula, so he is the first winner.

Beverly has printed out a sheet declaring her victory, so she can look at it every day. All the chefs in the house seem to be in very good moods and very friendly. Chris Jones reminds us that he works with Richie at Moto.

For the Quickfire there is a big terrarium with snakes in it. Or maybe one snake? Anyway, there are smaller boxes around too. Padma claims to be testing their nerves of steel: cook a dish with rattlesnake. Guest judge is Johnny Hernandez, who owns some restaurants nearby and cooks wild game. He says that snake meat is delicate. Padma gives them one hour, and tells them their ingredients are in the boxes in front of them. You can see everyone decide that there are live snakes in the boxes. Winner gets immunity and $5,000. And then Padma says “When time is up, I’d better see some motherfucking snakes on some motherfucking plates”, which is awesome. She didn’t hesitate at all. Best reuse of that line I’ve seen.

Some brave people just open the boxes to discover the snakes are dead and skinned. Richie says they’re not a lot of meat on these snakes. Sarah wants to keep it simple. Dakota says she cooks weird stuff, but never snake before. Paul claims his pride is on the line because he’s from Texas, as if all these other people from Chicago or wherever don’t have pride.

Sarah: flash fried rattlesnake in a brown butter sauce. Beverly: rattlesnake nigiri with Thai basil aioli. Does that mean it’s raw? Chris C: rattlesnake nicoise with olive oil pudding and olive panko. Chris J: cumin breaded rattlesnake with bacon. Paul: BBQ rattlesnake with peaches, fried peanuts, and Southeast Asian spices. Dakota: beer-battered tempura rattlesnake. And zucchini almond gazpacho. Keith: sweet corn rattlesnake griddle cake with ancho mascarpone, and beer-battered rattlesnake crudite with tequila poblano queso fondue. Nyesha: rattlesnake braised with tequila, citrus, and jalapeno. Chuy: adobo seasoned rattlesnake with pasilla balsamic BBQ sauce. Richie: grilled jerk-seasoned rattlesnake with roasted corn.

Johnny says that Paul’s dish lost the rattlesnake, and so did Richie’s dish. Too overpowering. Nyesha overcooked her snake. Beverly did cook her snake, apparently, and did an excellent job. Dakota’s fried snake was “a good nod to Texas”. Sarah’s seasoning showcased the snake. The winner is Dakota. She’s very thrilled.

Everyone has to draw knives. There is a Team Pink and a Team Green. Tomorrow there is a “very important event” they must cook for, and someone from the losing team will be going home. Their client is Blanca Flores, who is having her quincianera tomorrow. Oo. That is a big party for 15 year old girls in Hispanic culture. Like a Sweet 16. So they’ll have to feed the party and make a cake too. I’m not sure why there are two teams. But we’ll go with it.

30 minutes to plan menus. Blanca doesn’t eat spicy food, but she likes the flavors. As they are asking her what she likes, someone throws in “Do you like boys?” Heh. Heather reveals she has pastry chef experience. She tried to do it for a while but she was bored. Chuy brags that he can cook goat, which is good because Blanca seems to like it. Lindsay used to live in Mexico, so she’s thrilled.

Ah…of course there is a Whole Foods. However they also send people to a Mexican market. Beverly tells the Whole Foods contingent to get her jars of kim chee, “the brand with the Korean lady on the front”. As she is telling them this over the phone, she is gesturing to her face as if they can see her. I’d make fun of her but I have totally waved my hands around while on the phone before. Neither team seems to have a big plan. Keith says he is buying pre-cooked shrimp, so you know that’s going to turn out poorly. Dakota is following a recipe on a box to make the cake. Beverly is at the Mexican store yelling to the whole store that it is very important she get a butcher, right now, and sorry if you had something to do, but she is important. Sigh. I think Ty-Lor is buying pre-made tortillas. Like, shelf stable.

3 hours to prep today. The Pink team menu: pork tenderloin huarache (Keith and Lindsay), ceviche (Nyesha), choclo con chile (Chris C.), carne asada (Ty-Lor), green chile pozole (Whitney), enchilada en salsa verde (Keith), cochinita pibil (Lindsay and Sarah), hibiscus-yogurt pound cake (Dakota). Really computer? You don’t recognize chile but you recognize huarache? Whatever. A huarache is like an open-faced tamale. Choclo is a type of corn, and pozole is stew with hominy. Cochinita pibil is slow-roasted pork marinated in citrus and then roasted in a banana leaf. It sounds fantastic. Lindsay goes to make court bouillon from the shrimp, only you can’t do that if the shrimp are already cooked. Chris C. throws Keith under the bus and Lindsay freaks out. Sarah freaks out too. The two girls (or maybe just Lindsay) decide not to make shrimp at all, and Keith recalls that he told everyone at the counter that he was getting cooked shrimp, and we have a flashback to the footage of Chris C. saying “yeah, whatever” in response. Ass. Don’t approve of things and then later pretend like you don’t have any blame. Lindsay bitches that now she doesn’t have a dish, which makes no sense to me because her two dishes are pork?

Green team menu: shrimp yuzu ceviche (Paul), pork chicarron (Richie), chicken mole (Grayson), tomatillo gazpacho (Edward), green chile empanadas (Chris J.), beef short rib asada (?) with kim chee (?) (Beverly), braised goat birria (Chuy), vanilla tres leches cake (Heather). Chicarron is pork skin, or pork rinds, mole is delicious enough that I will put up with horrible service at this one restaurant because they have the best mole, birria is meat stew. Chuy, as a Mexican, has declared himself the expert, and says everyone is coming to him to double check all the dishes because he knows how it should all taste. Heather is kind of freaking out about her cake, because she thinks she’ll go home if she screws up.

At the house, the teams discuss plans and plating. Keith is trying to talk about his plating? And all of a sudden decides that they should be a team and not have one person make all the decisions, and he says he’s just trying to get feedback. I’m not sure where all of that came from. I mean, he was asking for opinions, so maybe he thought Sarah was telling him what to do.

2.5 hours to finish everything today before the party. Chuy declares his victory. Nyesha fills us in on her group’s dynamics. Lindsay will ask Keith something, he’ll respond, and she’ll then go running to Sarah to tell her, as if Sarah is the boss. Nyesha says there is tension between all three of them, and that the girls are trying to run everything in their group. Heather’s cake is leaning because it’s too hot in the kitchen. Why isn’t she out in the dining room? It really is leaning. Chris J. jumps in to help Richie plate. Dakota leaves the kitchen with her cake, which is three square layers in neon colors. Chuy tells us that HE has everything on his team’s line all set up. Not “we are set”. Instead, “I have everything set”. Sigh.

When Blanca gets there, Padma is very sweet and introduces her to all the other judges and greets her parents. I know it’s not anything bizarre, it’s just very cute, and she’s at ease, like there aren’t cameras everywhere and like she actually knows this girl.

Pass around appetizers. Ty-Lor: fire roasted “summer fritter” with avocado mousse. Fritters should not be served in Chinese soup spoons. It’s dry and the avocado is just kind of there. Richie’s chicarron has tapioca and pork carnitas. The pork has made the chicarron soggy. But some guest likes it. The huarache from Keith and Lindsay is too big of a bite for one mouthful, but it doesn’t bite cleanly. Paul’s ceviche was clean.

I notice Blanca is walking around holding up her skirt and I feel for her. Nyesha’s ceviche is made of tilapia and has spiced popcorn? OK. Chris C. flirts a little bit, which I would do if I was as cute as he was. Keith’s enchiladas have chicken, mushrooms, and spinach. This team is also the team that did not make their own tortillas. The girls seem to remove Keith from the line and make him go do sous chef stuff in the back. The ceviche is mealy, the enchiladas should have corn tortillas but taste OK, the cochinita falls apart and everyone complains about the store-bought tortillas. Ty-Lor did well, as did Chris C. So the corn salsa and carne asada were about the only things that turned out well.

Green team is up. The birria includes steamed cabbage, because Blanca said she enjoyed steamed cabbage. Beverly’s short ribs do include some Mexican flavors. She says it’s Korean-Mexican fusion, and Tom says it sounds like a food truck. HA! St. Louis HAS a Korean-Mexican fusion food truck. Called Seoul Taco. Their food looks good. This team didn’t make their own tortillas either so I guess everyone gets out of trouble for that. They like most of the dishes, except the cabbage, and Hugh whines about the chicarron that came with the gazpacho. However this team grilled their tortillas so it’s nice. Grayson screwed up her mole with too much cinnamon and mushy chicken.

Cake time. Dakota’s cake is pretty garish, but she says Blanca asked for these colors, and for the flavors inside. The bright pink and blue and green are accented by purple calla lilies and tall colored candles. Heather’s cake…oh, Heather. They covered it completely with white flowers, so all you can see is flowers. But it’s melted, so it’s just a lopsided blob. A lopsided blob of flowers with two sad, straggly strands of ivy. It is a Cake Wreck. Dakota’s cake has too much frosting but the inside is good. Surprisingly the tres leches is really good, less sweet and there are some strawberries from somewhere. Blanca has her dance with her dad, and Beverly gets choked up because she makes it sound like her dad thinks less of her because she’s a girl. Tom calls everyone over and tells them that the Green team wins. Obviously.

Commercial interlude: the Stew Room is very full. Sarah is trying to ask her team if they thought anyone didn’t pull their weight. Keith shuts her down and says they all agreed on who was going to do what and everyone did their tasks. Sarah is worried because since she “took a leadership role” and knows she should go down with the ship.

Padma only calls out Ty-Lor, Sarah, Lindsay, and Keith. Weird, they said Ty-Lor did well. Tom says overall they did a good job, but the other team just did better, including the cake, but Dakota had immunity so she’s not there. Sarah blames their problems on not using their menu planning time wisely, and Lindsay cuts in to say they should have picked a leader then. Hugh rolls his eyes, basically, and says they can all lead. Sarah says there wasn’t a menu, but then starts listing off dishes and who was going to make what, which sounds suspiciously like a menu. She forgets to leave the shrimp out of her list, so of course the judges are like “we didn’t have shrimp” and Keith owns up to his purchase. He says he was thinking about price and labor and he was thinking under pressure. Tom asks if he was alone, and he says no, the team was there. Hugh tells Keith that if he was on that team, he’d bitch at Keith too. The “summer fritter” was in place of the shrimp, but it wasn’t very good. Ty-Lor says they gave him half an hour to come up with an appetizer. Half an hour? Why so short? Didn’t they discover the shrimp early on in the first day? Tom says that wouldn’t cause the fritter to be dry, and Ty-Lor agrees that was a cooking failure. You guys, I know why Ty-Lor’s here. He’s going home. Think about it; all the drama has been with the other three, and then suddenly Ty-Lor’s screwed up so badly he’s in the bottom? The cochinita, a Lindsay-Sarah joint venture, had crappy tortillas. Keith says he always has flour tortillas in his enchiladas where he’s from, and Johnny explains how the flour tortilla soaks up the sauce and gets doughy. All of a sudden Sarah is saying she’s from Texas and she would never make enchiladas with flour tortillas. Padma asks if she told Keith that, and she admits she didn’t, because she’s not here to boss everyone around. Please. Keith basically tells her she LOVES to boss people around and if she had an opinion, she should have said it. “You love driving the bus, hitting people”. Nice. Keith then reveals that they had a whole giant pile of corn tortillas he could have used, but no one said a word to him about it. He then reminds the girls they were supposed to be a team. Sarah tries to blame him and say he didn’t talk to anyone during prep, which makes no sense at all. I watched Sarah and Lindsay tell Keith what to do numerous times, or at least listen to him and agree. Keith tells Tom he would have used corn tortillas if they had told him, and they kick everyone out to make their decision.

Lindsay tells Dakota she would have been there if she wasn’t immune. Padma thinks everyone should go home for one reason or another. Tom lists the contestants’ credentials, although I‘m not sure why since they‘re supposed to only judge this one challenge. Hugh wanted a leader, and they all wasted time the team could have used to make things better. The enchiladas weren’t refined, and while Padma tries to defend Keith’s tortillas, Hugh says that if he needs to be told not to buy frozen pre-cooked shrimp there’s a problem. Sarah and Lindsay’s pork didn’t work out at all. The spices were lacking, and Lindsay lived in Mexico and should know better. They bitch about the fritter, and I still would like an explanation of why he only had half an hour to come up with something when even if they discovered the shrimp at the very end of the first day, Ty-Lor would still have 2.5 hours on the second day to come up with something.

Tom says that there was no leadership, Sarah should have said something about the tortillas and the cochinita was poor, Lindsay should know better, Ty-Lor had a dry fritter, Keith’s enchilada was still not good. Keith is sent home. Or to “Last Chance Kitchen”, I guess. He says to remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. Chris J. is sad to see him go, while Lindsay pretends to be sorry he’s gone. Keith says dreams do come true.

Next week: chili cook-off of some kind. I’ll be out of town, so I’ll get it posted when I can. Sorry.

Last Chance Kitchen: Keith goes to pack up his stuff, and finds a letter in his luggage explaining what is going on. It’s the mise en place relay race! 10 minutes to prep as many of the 6 ingredients as you can, and then make a dish. I think that 10 minutes was to both prep and cook. There are onions, lemons, clams, peppers. I’m not sure what else. They both steamed clams, Andrew with pepperonata, and Keith with lemon and sofrito and with ceviche too. Keith made the best clams so he will continue on.
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Monday, November 14, 2011

TAR19, Recap Leg 8, 11/13/11

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on Malawi Makes Me Want to Scream, teams raced across the little country. Amani and Marcus completed a speed bump, Justin and Jennifer stumbled out a t a roadblock, and Ernie and Cindy intelligently use the Express Pass to finish first, but idiotically don’t use the U-Turn, which causes Andy and Tommy to finish first. AGAIN. And Justin and Jennifer are eliminated. Who will be eliminated . . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Andy/Tommy, The Snowboarders
2nd – Ernie/Cindy, Team Chinatown
3rd – Bill/Cathi, The Grandparents
4th – Amani/Marcus, Team Football
5th – Laurence/Zac, The Adventurers
6th – Jeremy/Sandy, Team Tryout

Sunbird Livingstonia Beach, Senga Bay, Salima, Malawi

3:12 PM Andy/Tommy (1st)

Clue: In an Amazing Race first, fly 5000 miles to Copenhagen, Denmark! Once there, choose a Ford Focus and drive selves to the Vor Frelsirs Kirke and climb to the top to get your next clue. You may use the provided flight to Copenhagen, or you may search for a better option. CAUTION: Double U-Turn Ahead!

(Toyouke: “Really? They haven't been to Copenhagen yet?” Auburnium0513: “Gee, I wonder what the prizes are going to be for this leg of the race...could it be Ford Focuses?” Kmanpat: “I think the plural is Ford Foci. . .”)

3:13 PM Ernie/Cindy (2nd)
3:26 PM Bill/Cathi (3rd)
3:34 PM Amani/Marcus (4th)
3:36 PM Laurence/Zac (5th) – and Zac mispronounces the name of the city they are flying to. (Toyouke: “Zac. Seriously. Copenhagen.”)
3:42 PM Jeremy/Sandy (6th)

Teams arrive at Lilongwe Airport in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Ernie/Cindy
3- Bill/Cathi
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Jeremy/Sandy

So, at the airport, Laurence and Zac find a flight to London and think they can get to Copenhagen quicker from there. Of course, Laurence is all shady and mysterious when Ernie and Cindy ask them what they are doing. And Cindy gets irritated. (Toyouke: “I'm not sure what is happening here. Did Laurence and Zac only book to London? Why won't Cindy just stick around and do her own research? Of COURSE they're getting a better flight. Or you could at least double check that! Don't whine that they're shady.”) Everyone else flies to Amsterdam and vies for flights there. When it all shakes down, this is what ends up happening:

Flight 1: Lilongwe to Nairobi to London to Copenhagen via Virgin Atlantic
1) Laurence/ Zac

Flight 2: Lilongwe to Nairobi to Amsterdam to Copenhagen via Cimber Air
1) Andy/Tommy
2) Jeremy/Sandy

Flight 3: Lilongwe to Nairobi to Amsterdam to Copenhagen via Norwegian Air
1) Ernie/Cindy
2) Bill/Cathi

Flight 4: Lilongwe to Nairobi to Amsterdam to Copenhagen via SAS
1) Amani/Marcus – who are the only lazy folk that take the flight handed to them by the producers. (Toyouke: “You assumed everyone would just take the flight they were given? Do you WATCH this show?”)

Teams arrive in Copenhagen in the following order:

1- Laurence/Zac
2- Jeremy/Sandy
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Ernie/Cindy
5- Bill/Cathi
6- Amani/Marcus


Teams then travel in their Ford Foci and arrive at the Vor Frelsirs Kirke in the following order:

1- Laurence/Zac
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Bill/Cathi
6- Amani/Marcus

However, teams arrive and hit Hours of Operation. So, when the bell tower opens at 7:30 AM, teams rush to the top. In order to get their next clue, teams must find two flags, the one on the tower that reads “Borg Slot” and the one on a nearby building that reads “Frederiks” to put together their next destination, Frederiksborg Slot. (Toyouke: “Haha, "Borg Slot". I'm a nerd.” Auburnium0513: ”I didn't realize that the Borg played slot machines!”)

Teams get the clue in the following order:

1- Bill/Cathi
2- Laurence/Zac
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Jeremy/Sandy – who actually screw up the clue and have to go back to the top.
6- Amani/Marcus – (Toyouke: “Hmm. So...if you waited for the flight the producers gave you, you get there after the place opens.”)

Teams drive in their Ford Foci to the castle and arrive in the following order:

1- Laurence/Zac
2- Ernie/Cindy
3- Bill/Cathi
4- Andy/Tommy
5- Jeremy/Sandy
6- Amani/Marcus

And once they arrive, teams get the ninth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

“Who’s ready to take a few steps back in time?”

In this roadblock, one team member must don period clothing and learn a three part dance routine. Once it is performed perfectly, the duchess will give them their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Phil! The least you could do is dress in period costume!”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Ernie – (Kmanpat: “He’s hot, I want one.”)
2- Zac – Laurence: “He’s a 19 year old boy, he doesn’t know how to dance.” (Kmanpat: “Oh, honey, he’s just not my kind of 19 year old.” Auburnium0513: “It's hard for him to learn because he doesn't WANT to learn.”)
3- Cathi – (Auburnium0513: “Cathi looks so in place in that garb!”)
4- Andy
5- Sandy
6- Amani

After much dancing, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Jeremy/Sandy
6- Amani/Marcus

(Auburnium0513: “See, the problem I'd have is I'd want to keep the costume.” Kmanpat: “And I wanted them to get the other teammate dressed up and have to complete the rest of the leg in costume.”)

Teams must now drive themselves to the Freelandmuseet and scour the grounds to get their next clue. (Toyouke: “They have to search the grounds for a postbox? That sounds pretty hard. You know what would make that easier? A PROPER CLUE BOX.”)

Teams arrive and get their clue in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus – who got lost again heading to the next clue. (Toyouke: “OK, pulling over on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, to hope someone will stop and give you directions, is pretty stupid. Although I guess you already assumed everyone else would just waste the whole evening without looking for a better flight. So maybe that's not the stupidest thing you've done today.”)
6- Jeremy/Sandy – who also get lost due to Sandy’s bad directions. (Toyouke: “Yes, why didn't Sandy know what direction to go? And why isn't she explaining herself? As much as I hate stupid fights and pointless drama, I kind of think Jeremy and Sandy should scream at each other instead of Jeremy seething in the front seat and Sandy being (acting) oblivious.”)


And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
All Hopped Up OR All Churned Out
*All Hopped Up: Teams are required to lay out a proper rabbit steeplechase (Kaninhop in Danish) course, then both team members had to pick a rabbit and each run it through the course. Once complete, the animal handler would give them their next clue.
*All Churned Out: Teams use a traditional butter churn to churn cream into butter and use a press to create six sticks of butter. Once approved by the milkmaid, teams will get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “OK, OK, Phil with the bunny does make up for him not wearing tights before. Mostly.”)

1- Ernie/Cindy choose All Churned Out
2- Bill/Cathi choose All Churned Out
3- Andy/Tommy choose All Churned Out
4- Laurence/Zac choose All Churned Out
5- Amani/Marcus choose All Hopped Up – Marcus: “Go bunny! You can do it!” (Toyouke: “Marcus cheering on the rabbit is probably the funniest thing today.”)
6- Jeremy/Sandy choose All Churned Out

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Jeremy/Sandy

Teams are now instructed to travel on foot to Karlstrup Windmill.

CAUTION: DOUBLE U-TURN AHEAD

This is a Double U-Turn. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is doubled, meaning two teams may U-Turn two other teams. This is the second double U-Turn of the Race.

1-Ernie/Cindy choose to U-Turn Bill/Cathi
2-Bill/Cathi have been U-Turned and choose to U-Turn Laurence/Zac – (Toyouke: “Interesting. "We've been U-Turned so let's make sure someone behind us is also screwed because then we'll have an advantage compared to SOMEONE.")
3-Andy/Tommy cannot U-Turn
4-Laurence/Zac have been U-Turned – and Laurence is upset about it. (Toyouke: “Oh, whatever, Laurence. You tried to U-Turn people yesterday.”)
5- Amani/Marcus cannot U-Turn
6- Jeremy/Sandy cannot U-Turn

So, teams continue through the U-Turn as necessary, and complete additional tasks, which causes teams to leave the U-Turn officially in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy – Cindy: “I had to U-turn someone to win the million dollars!” (Toyouke: “But you're not going to win a million dollars on THIS leg, CINDY. See, if Ernie and Cindy had U-Turned the snowboarders last episode, they could have won and not completely wasted the Express Pass.”)
2- Bill/Cathi
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Laurence/Zac
6- Jeremy/Sandy

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves back to Copenhagen and find Havet Ship, the PIT STOP of the eighth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Ernie/Cindy – who win a trip for two to Fiji. (Toyouke: “I kind of wish Ernie and Cindy ended up in second place. But I'm kind of a bitch like that.”)
2- Bill/Cathi – (Toyouke: “So...how did Bill and Cathi beat the boys in to the mat? Or did they let them win when they wouldn't let Ernie and Cindy beat them? Who knows?”)
3- Andy/Tommy
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Jeremy/Sandy
6- Laurence/Zac

And Laurence and Zac are eliminated. Finally. Hot boy is nice, the ridiculous stupidity is not. And Laurence was starting to grate on me. However, they say it was a good experience. (Toyouke: “Oh, don't try to spin your loss with your dumb statements of "I don't need money to be happy." You're both idiots and with the number of dumbass mistakes you've made you should have been out 5 legs ago.”)

ORDER NOW:
1st – Ernie/Cindy
2nd – Bill/Cathi
3rd – Andy/Tommy
4th – Amani/Marcus
5th –Jeremy/Sandy

Next week: Away to Belgium! There’s acting! And Disney World-style teacups. And. . . bodybuilding?!?!? Until next time!
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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Top Chef 11/9/11--"The Heat Is On" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: While it seemed the show had become some weird amalgam of “Masterchef” and “Top Chef: Masters”, in reality this was not the case. Having small groups compete means that Tom can do things like kick people out before they’ve even had the chance to make any food. Just because they can’t butcher! Fail to clean your plates? Out! Forget the main ingredient? Out! It was pretty awesome. Sadly, we picked out 11 of the 16 finalists, leaving just 5 spots both for the final group of 10 and the 4 people in the “bubble” group. (click for more)

The bubble group discusses what they might have to do to get onto the show. Grayson (poor tenderloin girl from last week) and Edward (Asian) get to talk to us.

Group Three is greeted by Hugh Acheson. Sigh. I just don’t see how he’s qualified to do anything, aside from having been on the show before and being able to be a jerk. At least Tony Bourdain was funny while being a jerk. Chaz tells us he’s had a crush on Padma since middle school. Introduction time. Everyone brags on themselves, except for Chaz says he was nominated by his mom as one of her two favorite sons. Hee. Beverly says she is the breadwinner at home so she’s not wasting this opportunity. We’ll see.

This team gets a weird combination of the previous challenges, with a twist. There are ten different ingredients on the table, and each chef will pick one to cook with. The ingredients are things like octopus, Brussels sprouts, risotto, mushrooms…I‘m not sure of the theme. There is also a dome on each tray, and Padma says that when they get their tray, don’t touch anything. Paul says he knows that probably means they’ll be trading. Eventually they divvy everything up. Under each dome is a timer. Some people get a whole hour, while some get twenty minutes. They don’t show who gets what, though, so I’m not sure if they screwed people over on purpose. But I’m pretty sure you can cook risotto in 40 minutes, CHAZ.

Paul is making grilled trout with his 20 minutes. He owns trailers that serve as food trucks, which I approve of. Andrew tries to clean mushrooms and roast them but he’s really short on time. Ashley has an hour to make oxtail. So it looks like they did plan the times, in that the longer times were given to things like oxtail that take longer. But at the same time, one hour is not really enough time to slow cook things. Laurent, the lone Frenchman, is making duck with yuzu lemon curd. Beverly serves octopus regularly but it comes into her restaurant already cooked. One girl is avoiding Tom because she doesn’t have time to talk to him. Flailing ensues.

20 minute group up first. Kim: pan seared lamb chop with kalamata olives and arugula. Andrew: roasted mushrooms with brown butter vinaigrette, crispy spinach, and poached egg. Paul: grilled trout with Southeast Asian tomato salad. Paul is through because his dish was the best of the three, well seasoned and precise. Kim’s lamb was greasy and overcooked so she is out. Andrew knows that he could do better, and they seem to agree. His dish was messy but the mushrooms were well roasted so they put him on the bubble. He’s glad for a second chance, but he’s not terribly pleased to find four people already in the Stew Room.

Chaz is still freaking out about the risotto and is begging it to cook. Jonathan (who I hope sticks around purely for shallow reasons) is not used to the time limit. Laurent says the oven wasn’t hot enough for his duck. Chaz tries to wait as long as possible before plating, but this backfires as he barely gets over to his station with the pan of risotto when the timer goes off.

To his credit, Chaz knows he is the only one to blame, so he quietly accepts his dismissal. But he drags it out with a weird discussion about Padma breaking up with him. Bernice: Asian style short rib with cabbage slaw. Laurent: duck with lemon yuzu curd and arugula. Jonathan: Brussels sprouts with tomato sofrito and hazelnut gremolata. Sadly Jonathan did not cook his sprouts properly and we won‘t be seeing him anymore. Aww. He was good eye candy. Laurent’s plate didn’t make sense and had too many things. Hugh wants to put him on the bubble, but Tom wants to kick him out. Padma thinks he has potential, so Laurent makes the bubble group. Bernice’s short ribs are not good enough for a spot (even though Tom says he knows her work and who she cooks for, but he can only judge her on this dish).

So did they seed the teams? Put all the good people on the first couple of teams? Because they’re being much harsher with this group. Ashley can’t get the lid off her pressure cooker to check her oxtails. That would be because it’s hissing steam because it’s still under pressure. It’s probably a failsafe. Lindsay helps her with the pressure cooker, because she trusts the quality of her food. After all that, the oxtail is not tender enough.

Ashley: braised oxtail “kare-kare”, which is a Filipino dish. Lindsay: braised veal, creamy polenta and warm salad. Beverly: Korean style octopus ”nakji bokum”. Lindsay’s veal is delicious and has a lot going on, so she’s in. Ashley didn’t cook her oxtail properly, so even though Padma wants to put her on the bubble, the boys want her to go. Beverly isn’t really familiar with cooking octopus, but her crazy risk paid off and she is in.

Everyone who is in goes to the house and meets everyone. Lindsay recognizes people and is intimidated. The Stew Room is bored and Edward is kind of a jerk to Molly because she cooks on a cruise ship. He also tells them there’s probably only one spot for the six of them. He tells us in confessional that if they leave him there long enough, he’ll kill the other five people. It’s a voiceover over a shot of him sitting with his arms crossed looking intimidating and slightly crazy.

Padma finally comes to get everyone out of the Stew Room. I’m not sure where Gail is, but everyone else is here. Padma reminds those of us who have lost count (like me) that two spots are left. This challenge is simple: use anything in the kitchen to make a dish that proves to us you should be here. You have 45 minutes.

It looks like everyone listened to what the judges said and they are prepared to address it. Grayson has been working in restaurants since she was 15. Janine tells us she’s newly single, as her girlfriend waited for a month after their commitment ceremony to tell Janine she didn’t like her vows. Then she broke up over the phone after 9 years of being together. That is horrible.

You guys, I watched a special with the Voltaggio brothers making Thanksgiving. It was like, non-stop hot boys and delicious food for a whole hour. Of course, Michael had to sous vide his turkey for some reason, but then he made sticky toffee pudding with braised pineapple so who cares about the turkey anyway.

Commercial interlude: everyone picks out their beds. For some reason Keith (the large gentleman from last week) is stuck in the room that only has bunk beds. I’m not sure why that happened.

All of a sudden Edward is slicing something and he cuts open his finger pretty badly. It‘s hard to see what he did exactly, but he is like, pumping blood. He was just going to put a glove on, but he’s bleeding so badly the medic has to bandage him up. Edward goes through a litany of the things he would cut off in order to be on this show. Everyone frantically works and talks about how badly they want one of those two spots. Molly kind of forgets about her shrimp, and while she does get them on the plate, she’s afraid they’re overcooked.

Edward: duck with BBQ sauce and sweet Asian custard. Molly: jumbo stuffed prawn, mousseline of shrimp with soy glazed watermelon and rice. Janine: seared scallop with baby clams, bacon, corn and watermelon garnish. Grayson: creamy polenta with bacon wrapped shrimp and port wine fig sauce. Laurent: scallop two ways, tartare and seared on a bed of fennel with saffron. Andrew: mussels with sherry, fregula, charred corn panna cotta and shrimp. Fregula is a type of pasta. Janine says she simplified, but Hugh wanted more watermelon. Emeril likes how it turned out. Molly’s shrimp was overcooked, and she seems to have fallen short. Edward’s dish gains praise for presentation and flavor. Grayson can’t explain why she wrapped her shrimp in bacon, so Tom gives her some crap before saying it turned out well. Andrew’s charred corn panna cotta is weird and maybe he should have stopped before making that part. For real, dude, panna cotta is the kiss of death on this show. Laurent’s tartare is gray. Ew. Good concept though.

Molly’s dish was bland in addition to having overcooked shrimp. Laurent’s tartare was not great, plus when you put a cold dish and a hot dish on the same plate, the plate temperature is wrong for one of them. Edward had a great dish but overcooked the duck a little bit. Andrew should have stopped with the mussels. Grayson’s dish was pretty good, as was Janine. But they both had slight problems.

Molly is out. Laurent is out. Edward is in. He’s pretty psyched. The last three get commentary as a group, with their pluses and minuses. Andrew is out. Grayson is in. I wondered if they’d give her another chance after stupid Tyler.

Grayson and Edward finally get to go to the house and greet everyone. They both talk about feeling like the underdogs.

This season: Pee Wee Herman, Padma says “I better see some motherfucking snakes on some motherfucking plates” (awesome!), people cooking in a field, drama. And then Tom comes in to the Stew Room and says it’s not over because apparently Top Chef has decided to copy SURVIVOR and have a fucking REDEMPTION ISLAND. Eliminated chefs can compete and maybe get back into the competition. The only good thing is that these clips are only online, so I don’t have to watch them. But seriously people. When you’re out, you’re out. Done.
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Monday, November 7, 2011

TAR19, Recap Leg 7, 11/6/11

Welcome to Leg 7! Last time, on Take Lilongwe Home, teams raced from Thailand to Malawi. Marcus struggled moving tobacco, and in a race to the pit stop, Justin and Jennifer forget to pay their driver which causes the snowboarders to once again win by default. Amani and Marcus, however, are not eliminated. Who will be eliminated . . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Andy/Tommy, The Snowboarders
2nd – Justin/Jennifer, Team Patience
3rd – Jeremy/Sandy, Team Tryout
4th – Laurence/Zac, The Adventurers
5th – Ernie/Cindy, Team Chinatown
6th – Bill/Cathi, The Grandparents
7th – Amani/Marcus, Team Football

Kumbali Village, Malawi

As the teams check in, they find that they each have huts to put the beds in, and can shack up for the night with mattresses and mosquito netting.

5:28 AM Andy/Tommy (1st) – Tommy: “We keep getting Phil’s classic, ‘However. . .’” (Toyouke: “It is not the "Classic However..." It's just that everyone else is stupid.”)

Clue: Travel by bus to Salima, Malawi. Once there, find the next clue from someone at the bud terminal. You have $1 for this leg of the race. CAUTION: Double U-Turn Ahead!

(Toyouke: “Stupid Double U-Turn. But ha ha! $1 leg!”)

5:39 AM Justin/Jennifer (2nd) – and Justin discusses how he came out to his sister. Well, that was unexpected. (Toyouke: “Justin is gay. Who knew?”)
5:40 AM Jeremy/Sandy (3rd)
5:41 AM Laurence/Zac (4th)
5:44 AM Ernie/Cindy (5th) – who talk about their need to use the express pass, as it expires at the end of the next leg. And are annoyed with their lodging. (Auburnium0513: "Go on, bitch some more, see what happens!")
5:47 AM Bill/Cathi (6th)
6:07 AM Amani/Marcus (7th)

Teams arrive at Lilongwe Bus Terminal in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Justin/Jennifer
3- Laurence/Zac
4- Jeremy/Sandy
5- Ernie/Cindy
6- Bill/Cathi
7- Amani/Marcus

Amani and Marcus arrive for the 7 am bus only to have to finagle their way on. (Toyouke: “Did Amani and Marcus just cut in front of all those people to get on the bus? That's not OK.”) They make it, and everyone takes the bus to Salima.

Once there, teams depart in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Laurence/Zac
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Justin/Jennifer
5- Bill/Cathi
6- Jeremy/Sandy
7- Amani/Marcus

However, once they arrive, Amani and Marcus find the Speed Bump. (Toyouke: “They gave the Speed Bump sign to some guy to carry around. Genius.”)

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this speed bump, teams must solve a slider puzzle that reveals the design of the new Malawian flag. Once complete, teams can move on to the next task.

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Amani/Marcus

After much sliding, they continue with the rest of the teams to the next task in the following order:

1- Andy/Tommy
2- Laurence/Zac
3- Ernie/Cindy
4- Justin/Jennifer
5- Bill/Cathi
6- Jeremy/Sandy
7- Amani/Marcus

And once they arrive, teams get the eighth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

*No Question Given*

In this roadblock, one team member must drive a kibaza, or bicycle taxi, and a customer to deliver fish to one of there addresses in Salima. Once they receive 100 Kwasha for their fish, Roadblockers return to the start and give their money to the dispatcher to get their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Andy – whose bike pedal falls off, and he proceeds to fix it. (Toyouke: “Andy seems pretty resourceful and cool under pressure.”)
2- Laurence – “This is like finding a hair on an elephant’s butt.” (Toyouke: “I believe that's a new one.”)
3- Cindy – who complains that English is Malawi’s official language, but no one speaks it. (Toyouke: “Cindy, you are approaching Ugly American. Best be quiet.”)
4- Jennifer – who leaves her clue with her brother. And then proceeds to hang out in rural Malawi. Oops. (Auburnium0513: “DO SOMETHING!! I don't know what to do, so I'm going to do nothing!”)
5- Cathi
6- Sandy
7- Marcus – “I’m zooming!” (Auburnium0513: “Just don't break your bike like the other guy.”)

After much fish delivering, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Bill/Cathi
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Jeremy/Sandy
6- Amani/Marcus
7- Justin/Jennifer

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Dugout OR Lugout
*Dugout: Teams travel to Chingumukile Village on Lake Malawi and participate in the Malawi Dugout Canoe Race. Teams paddle a canoe out to a boat full of drummers and back in order to get their next clue.
*Lugout: Teams travel to Chingumukile Village on Lake Malawi and choose a ferry to unload, including two boxes of cabbage, two bundles of sugar cane, two bundles of brooms, a chair, a fan, and eight passengers who would prefer not to get wet. Once done, teams will get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “This Detour seemed really really evil, and then I remembered that two teams will have to do both evil options. They did that on purpose.” Auburnium0513: “I want to see someone capsize in the canoes.”)

1- Ernie/Cindy choose Dugout – and then decide it’s too hard and that they could beat Andy and Tommy by using the Express Pass. (Toyouke: “I think they're doing it to keep the lead, so no one will U-Turn them, which is just as good of a reason as "staying out of last".”)
2- Andy/Tommy choose Dugout
3- Bill/Cathy choose Dugout
4- Jeremy/Sandy choose Dugout
5- Laurence/Zac choose Dugout
6- Amani/Marcus choose Lugout – and do it the way I would expect: Amani carries stuff, Marcus carries people. (Auburnium0513: “That's smart, having him do the people and her doing the stuff.”)
7- Justin/Jennifer choose Dugout

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Ernie/Cindy
2- Andy/Tommy
3- Bill/Cathi
4- Laurence/Zac
5- Amani/Marcus
6- Jeremy/Sandy
7- Justin/Jennifer

(Toyouke: “So...the snowboarders and Bill and Cathi have no trouble with the boats, but the dating couples find it impossible. And Laurence and Zac have trouble too. Weird.”)

Teams are now instructed to find Jamaica Shop in Chingumukile Village.

CAUTION: DOUBLE U-TURN AHEAD

This is a Double U-Turn. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is doubled, meaning two teams may U-Turn two other teams. This is the first double U-Turn of the Race.

(Toyouke: “Oh, is that why you don't have clue boxes? Because you wasted all your damn money on touchscreens for the stupid Double U-Turn sign? GAAHHH *fistshaking*”)

1-Ernie/Cindy choose not to U-Turn – which, in my opinion, is stupid considering Andy and Tommy are RIGHT BEHIND THEM. (Auburnium0513: “I also think Ernie and Cindy should have U-Turned the snowboarders.”)
2-Andy/Tommy choose not to U-Turn
3-Bill/Cathi choose not to U-Turn
4-Amani/Marcus choose not to U-Turn
5- Laurence/Zac choose to U-Turn Amani/Marcus – which is pointless, like all their other stupid moves, because Amani and Marcus got ahead of them. (Toyouke: “Didn't Amani and Marcus just leave? Didn't you just WALK PAST THEM? I don't understand how people can be this ignorant of racing.”)
6- Jeremy/Sandy choose not to U-Turn
7- Justin/Jennifer Bill/Cathi choose not to U-Turn

Teams are now instructed to travel by foot to Sunbird Livingstonia Beach, the PIT STOP of the seventh leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Andy/Tommy – who win $15000 in Discover gift cards. This is because they won a foot race against . . .
2- Ernie/Cindy – (Toyouke: “True, if you would read the clues and make good decisions, you could be first. For example, if you had made the decision to U-Turn the snowboarders.”)
3- Bill/Cathi
4- Amani/Marcus
5- Laurence/Zac – (Auburnium0513: “team number 5 AFTER the team you tried to U-Turn.”)
6- Jeremy/Sandy
7- Justin/Jennifer

And Justin and Jennifer are eliminated. Jennifer admits her mistake. I started liking them.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Andy/Tommy
2nd – Ernie/Cindy
3rd – Bill/Cathi
4th – Amani/Marcus
5th – Laurence/Zac
6th – Jeremy/Sandy

Next week: To Denmark we go! We have Rabbit Steeple Chasing. And another Double U-Turn! (Toyouke: “ANOTHER FUCKING U-TURN. I was so entertained by rabbits running an obstacle course and now I am agitated.” Auburnium0513: “I am looking forward to next week now! Trained rabbits and period costumes? That would so be for me!!”) Until next time!
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