Project Runway 7/28/11--"Come As You Are" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Jeez, it was a long time ago. But I do think I remember being dissatisfied with the winner. Did you know there are going to be 20 contestants when we start? TWENTY. Too many. (click for more)

Oh, yes, “Road to the Runway” or whatever. DVR info, please do not force shit like “behind the seams” on me. Tim pretends we don’t know the process of casting, and have never seen the other “Road to the Runway” specials. There are crazy people with jacked-up clothes, or no clothes, or whatever nonsense. Also people who do menswear, and bring menswear to their audition. Even though there have been a grand total of 3 menswear challenges (the outfit for Tiki Barber, and the two “makeover your fellow designers” challenges). It looks like Seth Aaron, Leanne, Nick, Mondo, Laura Bennet, and Daniel Franco (!) got to interview people. Some girl who only wears clothes she makes and hates everything everyone else does. The producer pretends they didn’t cast her for drama. Very young girl. Snowboarder. I mean…they set up interviews where each designer could talk about how awesome they were and how they wouldn’t get along with certain people, which people were promptly shown onscreen. It’s just asking for drama, and when you spend as much time letting people brag or talk about their sob stories as you do showing their clothes, that makes me nervous. These are the producers/network people who thought advertisements with a naked Heidi Klum would be the best way to reach their target audience. It also makes for a long recap and you’ll meet these people later. And they’re getting rid of four people the first episode so why waste time on them now? Also why are some people getting a “Yes” and some people “a strong Maybe”? Is that a spoiler? Whatever, I’m not rewinding.

Jesus. This show has been on for ten years. TEN. I know because Serena auditioned ten years ago and was turned down. I suppose this is season 9 after all.

For some reason we’re to believe the top 20 designers were forced to hoof it through New York, carrying their clothes and wandering about. These 20 will have to present to Tim, Heidi, Kors, and Nina. When everyone gets to…wherever they are, they unpack their clothes and pretend they aren’t checking everyone else out. Kimberly is up first. She says she works out in a sequined tank top. I see. Bryce, who is a gay Mormon like Keith was, has a feathered cape. Which Heidi tries on. Anya was Miss Trinidad. She says she didn’t learn how to sew until she applied to be on the show. Huh? The judges don’t buy it. They scrutinize her clothes, because they certainly don’t look like the work of a person who just learned how to sew. She does admit she had a lot of help, and everyone but Heidi wants to get rid of her. Kors points out that they’ll know if she can cut it after the first challenge. Becky feels old (she is 38). Her clothes have bright linings. Olivier is told by Heidi that he could model his clothes. Then she wants to wave him through because he’s cute and has an English accent. Who let her do this? She seems extra flighty. Josh C., who is another Mormon, would rather be broke than work in banking. Laura is from St. Louis, so I guess I should be like “what what!” but she explained in her audition video that they should cast her because they need a “spoiled city girl”, so I don’t like her. Kors makes a heinous comment about Midwesterners not liking color. Honey I have plenty of color. Nina says something disparaging and Laura’s response is just shy of an argument, but they move on so I guess it doesn’t matter.

David is nervous, and Nina thinks he is one-note. Viktor has a white top. That is all we see of Viktor. Julie, who is a snowboarder, seems to have only outerwear that is made of blankets and those multi-colored striped Mexican serapes. Amanda’s favorite piece is a romper/skort thing. Apparently she hates rompers, but is making a collection and rompers are popular, so she made one and then the bottom is a skort. Fallene has a dress of feathers, but is more into menswear-for-women. Gunnar…OK, his name is Gunnar Deatherage. But then when he talks he sounds like Christian, only higher pitched. Yeah. Danielle has made a whole line of sheer clothing. Josh M. says he has menswear but it will totally translate, mainly because it seems to be club wear. Cecilia is the woman who made it clear she will bring drama. Heidi calls her on it and says she’s showing more of her story than her fashion. Rafael has interesting lines, and thinks Nina is giving him the eye. No. Serena has a romper too. I know those were in, but seriously. Bert is 57, but introduces himself as being 102. And the chyron first lists 102 as his age. He’s designed for some big names, too. Anthony is wearing a tank top and a scarf. That Heidi wants. Also I would like to give MAD props to TLo for predicting this season’s Crier. Just to add another level of difficulty, Anthony is colorblind.

The judges deliberate but we don’t hear any names in the soundbites of their comments. Lots of interviews with designers about how nervous they are. Heidi and Tim come in and start making cuts. Fallene, Danielle, Rafael, and Kimberly are in. Viktor, Bryce, Becky, Olivier, Laura (see now I‘m not listening because obviously these people are in), Anthony, and Julie are also in. Josh M. is in. David is out. He seems pretty dazed, and talks about his elimination as if there’s no way he can become a designer except be on this show. You can be a designer without being on reality TV. Gunnar is out too. He is much calmer about it, maybe because he‘s only 21. Josh C. is in. Amanda is out. She is tearfully optimistic about her future. Anya is in. Bert is in. Serena is out, which means Cecilia is in. Oh, when it was down to those two you know Cecilia was in. They made too much of a stink about her drama. Serena is upset because she postponed her wedding to come here.

Now Heidi invites them all to toast, and for once she is not pregnant so I assume she has some champagne. They are back at Atlas! Yay! Tim tells them to unpack and settle in, because “you never know what’s waiting for you on Project Runway”. Sorry, foreshadowing.

Everyone moves in and gets settled. Laura pretends to be upset that everyone thinks she’s Barbie. Look, I know I’m being hard on her, but you can’t go to your audition and say “You should cast me because you need a spoiled pretty city girl” and then get upset when people think you’re Barbie. “Oh I’ve got a bite! I‘m not sweet!” Whatever. Everyone goes to bed, eventually.

At 5am Tim lets himself into the apartments to wake everyone up. Hee. He’s super nice about it, unlike on “Hell’s Kitchen” where they make as much noise as possible. He says to wake up right now for the “Project Runway Come As You Are Party”. Everyone has to grab one sheet from their bed (LAME, you’ll see) and come downstairs. They are not allowed to put on bras. Yeah…that would not be OK for me. Tim makes them walk the streets in pajamas and sheets. Nice. On the tour are Bryant Park, Red Lobster (Andre! Hee!), Times Square, and finally Parsons. Their first challenge: use your pajamas and the sheet from your bed to make an outfit. See? I was hoping for someone to sleep naked, and then be totally screwed. Plus, what if you were a girl and you slept in shorts and a camisole? What are you going to make from that? But if you have a sheet, then you can make anything. That’s why it’s kind of lame. On the other hand, I suppose you can’t have a bunch of mostly naked models. I know I saw someone wake up with no shirt, but I can’t see who that is now. Guess they threw on a shirt. In the lounge are notions and also fabric dye. They have until 10pm (so…over 12 hours). Tim throws a “Make it work!” over his shoulder as he leaves.

Josh C. points out that he’s not wearing anything classy but he does have a lot of it as he is bigger than the average model. Fallene is wearing a T-shirt with a graphic of a clown puking a rainbow. She is convinced she must use this graphic. Laura of course is wearing pink satin pajamas. Bert is using his boxers. Heh. Cecilia is dyeing things and kind of freaking out. Actually, a lot of people are dyeing and not doing well. Anya doesn’t get the color she wants, I don’t think. Then there is a shot of her threading the sewing machine, complete with ominous music. She pretty much admits she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Now you can see why Nina and Tim were so hesitant to send her through. Julie has bright pink pants with candy and bows on them. Not great. Anya, on top of not being that great at working the sewing machine, is making pants. She’s never made pants before. First of all, pants are something you should know how to make before you come here. It’s like going on Survivor and not knowing how to start a fire. Second, why would you do something like that? Make something you know!

Tim time! Anthony wants to have a “cluster” of feathers on his model’s crotch. Yeah. Tim seems to talk him out of it, and then he calls Tim “Mr. Gunn” which is cute. Fallene had yoga pants and her T-shirt with the puking clown. You know Tim is disturbed. Rafael cuts her some slack: “You know some people can’t help what they sleep in.” Josh C. has three pieces, including some shorts that will hopefully fit. Julie has a lot of work but much confidence. Bert has a titscrepancy going on. Kimberly gets a horrified “Aah!” Josh M. is asked to lower the skirt, which means exposed belly, and says she’ll look like “a 50 cent hooker”. Tim agrees. Anya is very ambitious. Rafael is “waiting” to finish his top until he sees it on the model. Then he’ll figure out what he wants it to look like. Tim points out that his do-rag is his most interesting textile, and he’s kept that firmly on his head. He interviews that he doesn’t want to take it off now because his hair is a hot mess and he doesn’t want to look homeless. Tim levels with him: Rafael was almost sent home yesterday so he better not make the judges second-guess themselves. Tim says he felt Rafael needed a dose of “Tim Gunn medicine”. Oh, I think there are plenty of people who would like a dose of Tim Gunn Medicine. (Kmanpat: “Yes please!”) All of Tim’s discussions with people are cut with shots of other designers looking around. First of all, I doubt they’re all eavesdropping all the time. Second, they can’t possibly all hear every consultation. I’m not fooled, Lifetime.

With two and a half hours left, the models come in. Josh says his model’s measurements were wrong so things are tight. Olivier discovers his model is Italian, and since he spent some time in Italy they chat for a minute in Italian. Laura interrupts to ask if they are “speaking foreign”. Are you fucking kidding me? I’m ashamed she’s from where I am from. Anya is very far behind.

In the morning there is frantic working. Tim has a lovely gray pinstripe suit, with a checkered shirt in a light orange and a grayish blue tie. He looks very dapper, is all. They have 2 hours to finish. Rafael still has to figure out his do-rag. At least he doesn’t do like Kristin and refuse to cut it up. That hot makeup guy with the mustache is back.

Heidi says they will eliminate one person today. She pretends only 3 people will show at Fashion Week, but we all know that never happens, plus they either just finished filming this week or are still filming. Plus I can count, so if Fashion Week is in September, and it’s the end of July now, that equals too damn many decoys. Guest judge today is Cristina Ricci. Josh M.: black dress with a short skirt and white vest. I think she has a belt maybe? The back of the vest is a deep V, and from here it looks like he just pinned the bottom parts together. Laura: wide legged pants in a mottled gray and white, and a purple camisole and vest. So I guess the pants were from her bathrobe, but where are the peach silk pants she was wearing? It’s cute, I guess. Danielle: aqua shorts and a two-toned long sleeved brown shirt. It looks pretty good. Laura comments that she wants to steal the model, and I’m not sure if she meant for Danielle to hear her, but Danielle just says “We’ll see”. Nice. Viktor: a white shirtdress with black side panels and shoulder panels. It looks very good. Becky: one shouldered sheath dress with a slight A-line in the skirt. The fabric is aqua (Becky says she wanted it darker) with a dark gray strip down the front from her yoga pants. Bryce: black miniskirt and an off-the-shoulder top with bell sleeves, in a grayish-purple color. That skirt is pretty short. Anya: wide legged pants and a cropped top with a V neckline. The top has the print from her pajamas, and the pants are weirdly bunching at her crotch. Julie: loose pants in gray, and a one-shouldered top. The pants are from the sheet, and the top is two parts: top is the yellow shirt, and bottom is the pink pajama pants with the candy and bows. At least the dividing line is on the diagonal.

Olivier: brown skirt and a gray long sleeved top. It looks like he just sort of pinned the top together instead of using buttons, or a zipper, or something. If he sewed it, it’s crooked. It’s almost a suit jacket, but not really. Kimberly: white pants that are mostly OK, a band of light green from her nightie, and a top that is basically a giant bib. It really is, like two wings over her boobs. It’s stiff and it looks terrible. Anthony: very short green skirt, where the sides are green but the center in the front and in the back is black lace, and a black and white striped tank top. The top is nice but man, is that skirt short. Rafael: gray leggings, a white vest with a little triangle of stomach showing and a cutout on the back, and a necklace-looking collar made from his do-rag. Actually I like the necklace. Fallene: black and white striped dress with a halter top. The stripes are irregular, and there is a yellow belt. And of course, the puking clown. Bert: very short dress, mostly in a sort of putty non-color, with one side of the bodice in light checks that used to be boxers. The skirt is asymmetrical also, but not enough to be able to tell if it was done on purpose. Josh C.: white shorts that have a weird balloon around her waist, an orange sleeveless top, and a white sleeveless bolero with a hood. Cecilia: orange bubble skirt with a banded hem, pink vest, and a strapless top. When the model turns around her skirt is about to ride all the way up her ass.

Heidi calls out Anthony Ryan, Rafael, Josh C., Anya, Bert, and Julie as the top and the bottom. Kimberly is safe? Pff. Danielle bitches that “safe” is “not good enough”. Anthony Ryan (Heidi keeps saying both names so I guess that’s how he wants it?) started with a tank and shorts, and Heidi likes the final transformation. Kors likes the way the colors go together, which would be impressive for someone who is colorblind…except his outfit is green, black, and gray. They liked his use of the notions. Rafael’s leggings have some pleating, which only looks so-so. But the back of his vest has curvy pleats, like fish scales. Heidi doesn’t hesitate and calls the necklace a “bib”, which, it’s not that big. Kors says “Flintstone disco pouch” and Nina says it looks tight and dated. Cristina is nice and says the top is interesting. Julie wanted her pants to look like snow pants. Heidi says she loved all of Julie’s clothes at casting, but this is just bad. Cristina says the shirt is “charming” but she wouldn’t wear it. And there is elastic on the sides of the pants. There’s also a zippered pocket on the front of the pants, instead of on the side, and Kors calls it “an ‘I-like-myself’ kind of pocket.” Hee. Anya’s pants are deemed good, even though they bunch weird, and everyone likes her outfit. Weird. Yeah, the pants make her butt look great, but the front! Bert was trying to make his clothes more interesting, per the comments from the judges before. Heidi loves it. Huh? I…OK. Kors says he hates the styling, though. Josh C. also has a crazy pant issue going on. Between the waistband and the crotch, the fabric bunches out like the model has a tummy pooch. Anya’s pants had it too. Josh’s top has a weird panel in the front, and he admits this is where he had to put the extra fabric because he made the top too small. They seem to hate the top. He says he wishes someone had told him his outfit sucked, and Kors says it’s not up to them to tell him anything. Nina says this is a design competition, and he’s shown them white shorts and a tank top.

Back in the Scrap Bin Josh C. immediately falls into Bryce’s arms for comforting. Mormons stick together, I guess. He seriously is shaken to the core about his criticism. Kors claims their sheets are made from crappy fabric that will never dye and never sew properly. Kors. It is a white bed sheet. It’s pretty much the best fabric they will get aside from muslin. Josh C. put the seams and panels in the worst possible place. However, Rafael’s outfit was just as bad. Cristina tries to save him, but it doesn’t seem to work, and Nina says he doesn’t understand he had a problem. Julie’s print is a problem, and Cristina tries to say she should have dyed it. Nina is more concerned with the pants. Anya’s pants are still praised, even though I CAN CLEARLY SEE THE BUNCHING. I know they didn’t mention the bunching on Josh’s shorts either, but seriously. Kors admits Anya had skills. Nina loves Anthony Ryan’s shirt. Bert’s dress was so great Cristina never noticed the dated styling.

Bert is the winner. Maybe I’m not getting it. He will get immunity. Bryce admits he underestimated Bert based on age. Anya is in. Anthony Ryan is in. Julie is in. Josh C. is in. That means Rafael is out. He’s going to fight for himself and keep going.

This season: shopping at a discount pet store, Nina in the workroom, outdoor runway, Tim jogging (!), models with exposed buttcheeks, glue, fights, lots of crying, Tim is concerned, medical attention. Anthony Ryan says “I haven’t been this pissed since I had cancer” which I think is a low card to play. It’s the usual.