Tuesday, March 1, 2011

TAR18, Recap Leg 1, 2/20/11

Welcome to Leg 1! We’re back to TAR after a hiatus, but this time it was pleasantly short. This time, Phil comes to us from Palm Springs California, the Wind capital of the world, and introduces us to teams that we already know in HD! From the jeeps, the eleven teams are: (click for more)

Jet and Cord, AKA The Cowboy Brothers are from Oklahoma, and have both won five world rodeo championships each. They are here because apparently they lost TAR16 when Dan and Jordan cut in front of them at the airport. Which? Not a game changer. They ended up on the same flight anyway. But? COWBOYS! *insert TAR Cowboy music here* (Toyouke: “Woo! Cowboys!”)

Margie and Luke, AKA Team Hearing Aid, are a mother and son, where the son is deaf, can’t read lips and can’t speak fluent English. Mom translates, quite well I may add. They lost in TAR14 when Luke couldn’t finish the final task. That means more fun from Luke. NOT complaining.

Amanda and Kris, AKA The YDC, are now engaged from San Diego. Kris: “I am 110% with this girl.” Well, that’s good. They lost when Margie and Luke U-Turned them in Siberia in TAR14. Not that that was a bad thing.

Flight Time and Big Easy, AKA The Globetrotters, are Harlem Globetrotters. Enough said. (Toyouke: “OMG I LOVE THE GLOBETROTTER MUSIC! I love that they cut that in.”) They lost in TAR15 when Big Easy couldn’t figure out a clue about Kafka. So intelligent clues are their downfall.

Mel and Mike, AKA Gay Family, are father and son. Dad is Mel White. Yes, THAT Mel White who used to write speeches for Jerry Falwell. Yes, THAT Jerry Falwell. The son wrote School of Rock. And they’re both gay. Oh, this is going to be fun. . . AGAIN! And now Mel is 70 and one of the oldest racers ever. They lost TAR14 when they broke away from the pack in Thailand.

Kent and Vyxsin, AKA Team Goth, are a dating goth couple from Louisville KY. Oh THIS will be fun. Kent describes themselves as “living cartoon characters.” I agree. (Toyouke: “They could fall on their rears or do really well.”) And do well they did, only falling apart at their second yield of TAR12 in Italy. Kent: “The Pink and Black attack is back!”

Gary and Mallory, AKA The Hillbillies, are father-daughter from Kentucky. Mallory is the former Miss Kentucky and fourth runner up at Miss America 2010. And dad still wishes she were a boy. They lost TAR17 in Oman when Mallory prayed to Mary instead of Allah. Oh, and they went the wrong way. Mallory: “TAR is more exciting than Miss America!”

Kisha and Jen, AKA Team Bathroom Break, are former college athletes. They want to learn how to deal with each other. And they lost TAR14 in China when Jen needed to use the restroom. Oops.

Zev and Justin, AKA Team Aspergers, are best friends from LA. Justin: “Zev isn’t afraid to speak his mind.” Zev: “Aw, That’s nice. *tear!*” Hee. Sound bite whore? Oh yes. They lost in TAR15 when Justin misplaced the passports. Well, that’s disaster right there.

Ron and Christina, AKA Team Asian, are from Tacoma WA and are the father-daughter team. Dad Ron says that he hasn’t been around for Christina and he hopes to build that trust. They lost their lead in TAR12 in Alaska, and Christina still wants to be the first parent-child team to win.

Jaime and Cara, AKA The Cheerios, are former NFL cheerleaders and are assertive young women. Apparently, that is to be read as “bitchy.” And they are both redheads now, as if they weren’t hard enough to tell apart before. They lost their way to the pit stop in TAR14.

The camera careens to a wind farm where the teams are standing where Phil gives his standard speech. There will be twelve legs where each team will get a “small amount of cash”. Phil tells them that their first clue is NOT on their bags. Instead teams run past their bags to a small field and solve a clue: Queensland and Northern Territories Aerial Service. The first EIGHT (8) teams to bring him what he wants will get tickets on the first flight out. The last three teams will get tickets on the second flight, ninety minutes later. AND the first team to check in on Leg 1 will get a special prize: an Express Pass, which will allow them to skip any one task on a leg that they choose, either before they start it or during. AND the last team to get their tickets will receive an automatic U-Turn when they encounter the first detour. (Toyouke: “Oo, I think I might like the automatic U-Turn better than a real U-Turn, or the "hurry up or you're eliminated in America" facet of things.”) Oh, and the first team to finish will win ONE MILLION DOLLARS (US$1000000)! Then oh so sexy Phil does his standard patter: “Ready? The world is waiting for you. Good luck, travel safe. (Toyouke: “Lack of eyebrow pop AGAIN!”) GO!” Who will be eliminated . . . tonight?

San Gorgonio Pass Wind Farm, Palm Springs, California, USA

Clue: Travel to Sydney, Australia! Once in Sydney, take the train to Sydney Harbour and take the ferry to Ocean World in Manly to get your next clue.

Since teams have to find their clues in order to leave, the departure order follows naturally. If the teams solve the clue, they know they want to find a paper airplane that says Qantas. Thus, the order of departure for the airport is:

1- Mel/Mike
2- Zev/Justin
– (Toyouke: “Hee, Zev and Justin have Globetrotter T-shirts.)
3- Jet/Cord
4- Kent/Vyxsin
5- Ron/Christina
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Margie/Luke
8- Jaime/Cara
9- Kisha/Jen
10- Gary/Mallory
– Mallory: “Oh, St. Anthony, help us.”
11- Kris/Amanda – who get the U-Turn penalty. Well, that’s déjà vu all over again.

Teams drive themselves to the airport and find the marked parking lot.

Once everyone arrives, there’s no jockeying for position, and the flights shake down like this:

Flight 1:
1) Mel/Mike
2) Zev/Justin
3) Jet/Cord
4) Kent/Vyxsin
5) Ron/Christina
6) Flight Time/Big Easy
7) Margie/Luke
8) Jaime/Cara

Flight 2:
1) Kisha/Jen
2) Gary/Mallory
3) Kris/Amanda

So, teams board their respective flights. We follow the Amazing Red and Green Lines across the Pacific to . . .Hawaii? The Amazing Red Line has a medical emergency, and lands in Hawaii to evacuate a heart attack victim. And thus, the first flight becomes the second flight.

SYDNEY! Opera House! Teams leave Sydney Airport for Manly in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen – who make the first train with . . .
2- Gary/Mallory – and . . .
3- Kris/Amanda
4- Flight Time/Big Easy
– who make the second train with . . .
5- Zev/Justin – and . . .
6- Margie/Luke – and . . .
7- Kent/Vyxsin – and . . .
8- Jaime/Cara
9- Ron/Christina
– who just miss the second train and make the third train with . . .
10- Mel/Mike – and . . .
11- Jet/Cord

Teams arrive at the Manly Ferry in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen – who make the first ferry with . . .
2- Gary/Mallory – and . . . (Toyouke: “Aw, I missed Mallory's cute self.”)
3- Kris/Amanda
4- Flight Time/Big Easy
– who make the second ferry with . . .
5- Zev/Justin – and . . .
6- Margie/Luke – and . . .
7- Kent/Vyxsin – and . . .
8- Jaime/Cara
9- Ron/Christina
– who make the third ferry with . . .
10- Mel/Mike
11- Jet/Cord
– who somehow manage to miss the third ferry. Why, cowboys, WHY?

Teams disembark the Manly Ferry and find the clue in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Kris/Amanda
4- Margie/Luke
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Zev/Justin
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Kent/Vyxsin
9- Ron/Christina
10- Mel/Mike
11- Jet/Cord

Once they arrive, teams get the first roadblock clue.


Who’s ready to get tanked?

In this roadblock, one team member must go diving in a shark tank to find a compass marked with semaphore flags. Roadblockers then find the hanging flags and use the compass to decode the puzzle which gives them their next destination: “Manly 16 ft Skiff Sailing Club. Find the Commodore. I am between the devil and the deep blue sea.” Teams then find the commodore and give him the password to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “This is like, the longest Roadblock. Why is it so long?”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Mallory
2- Kisha
3- Amanda
4- Flight Time
5- Margie
6- Justin
7- Cara
8- Vyxsin
– who has a hard time in the shark tank. Her focus ends up being family, since Kent lost his father suddenly a few years back.
9- Christina
10- Mel
11- Jet
– who gets hopelessly stuck. (Toyouke: “How can you not get the flags? It's just a substitution code! You and I would be all over it.”)

After much shark swimming and clue decoding, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Amanda/Kris
4- Zev/Justin
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Ron/Christina
7- Mel/Mike
8- Jaime/Cara
9- Margie/Luke
10- Kent/Vyxsin
11- Jet/Cord

Teams are now instructed to sail a 16 foot skiff and race along a water course to one of three buoys, all of which contain copies of their next clue. But, they can’t swim to the clue. Teams get their next clue in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Amanda/Kris
3- Kisha/Jen
– Jen: “No swimming? Darn.”
4- Zev/Justin – Zev: “I go sailing every Thursday at 6 pm.”
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Jaime/Cara
7- Ron/Christina
8- Margie/Luke
– (Toyouke: “Aw, I know you are busy ogling Luke.”)
9- Mel/Mike
10- Kent/Vyxsin
11- Jet/Cord

Teams must now get themselves on foot to the PIT STOP, Shelly Beach. This is the first pit stop in a racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Gary/Mallory – who win the Express Pass. (Toyouke: “Ohhhhh the greeter!”)
2- Amanda/Kris – who are reminded about their U-Turn on the first detour.
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Zev/Justin
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Jaime/Cara
7- Margie/Luke
8- Ron/Christina
9- Mel/Mike
10- Kent/Vyxsin
11- Jet/Cord

And Jet and Cord FINALLY make it to the mat. But? This is a non-elimination leg! Why? Because Phil informs the teams that while this is a Pit Stop, it is a no-rest Pit Stop, so they are to keep racing! And this, my friends? To be continued. . .

1st – Gary/Mallory
2nd – Amanda/Kris
3rd – Kisha/Jen
4th – Zev/Justin
5th – Flight Time/Big Easy
6th – Jaime/Cara
7th – Margie/Luke
8th – Ron/Christina
9th – Mel/Mike
10th – Kent/Vyxsin
11th – Jet/Cord

Next week: The teams are in suspense as Ron resumes his old habits, and Mel can’t seem to hold his health together. Until next time!

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