Top Chef:All Stars 2/9/11--"Feeding Fallon" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: All Stars”: apparently when you want the contestants to make pretty things, the best way to do that is to tell them no one is going to eat them. Richard won that Quickfire, by making weird black ice cream nuggets. Then everyone made Italian food, and there was a minimum of stupid mob jokes, which was good. However, all the pasta dishes were terrible. Antonia won, by making mussels that were simple but delicious. Several people were jealous. Mike failed at cooking fresh pasta correctly, but Tre’s thick risotto with too many vegetables was deemed the worst and he was sent home. (click for more)

Everyone goes to that random bar and drinks, but I did notice some people are drinking coffee, or at least drinks out of coffee cups. Fabio complains again about how he thinks Antonia’s dish was French, and Mike joins in for no other reason but because he’s a sore loser. At least he admits it.

It looks like fondue pots. Oo, fondue is fun. However, it makes Richard think of being naked for some reason. No, really. He is convinced his parents once went to a nude fondue party. That sounds dangerous. Padma demands creativity. Then she asks if they want to meet the guest judge, so she says to look around. Hilariously, Fabio looks up at the ceiling, like someone might drop from a skylight. No, they’re judging each other. This should be loud and bitchy. They must vote for their favorite and least favorite. No voting for yourself, no immunity, the winner will get a 3 day trip to Napa. Antonia says she hasn’t won anything yet.

30 minutes. Mike says that since he was born in the 70’s, he doesn’t know too many people who’ve gone to “these gay fondue parties”. Asshole. Antonia is making smoked salmon? Who knows? Richard decides that listening to Padma is stupid, and goes to make chocolate fondue with bananas, which she specifically mentioned as something not to make. I think Fabio is making blinis. Dale is making pho, which I think is going to turn out like shabu-shabu. Angelo is deconstructing something…who knows what he does anymore. I think he doesn’t finish.

Everyone gets wine to drink and they gather ‘round the fondue pots. Richard: bananas with amaretto, ras el hanout, chili chocolate, liquid nitrogen. You dip the banana in chocolate and then in the nitrogen to freeze it. That’s not a bad spin, actually. Except Padma says her tongue stuck to the banana a little bit. Tiffany is sad she can’t just eat and have fun. Tiffany: apple fritter with hazelnut chocolate. Delicious. Richard calls it “pedestrian”. Angelo: walnuts, endive with goat cheese fondue, beet juice shooter. Oh, it’s a deconstructed beet and goat cheese salad. Still, beet juice shooters are weird. Carla: beef tenderloin and shrimp with coconut curry lime sauce. Oo. Dale: pho with beef, bread, charred ginger, lime, sriracha, and broth. Mike: spiced limb kabobs with mint and chili, goat cheese fondue. Interesting. Antonia: smoked salmon on toast, fromage blanc and crème fraiche fondue. Fabio: blini (billini?) with caviar, crème fraiche, fromage blanc, and bourdain wine.

Richard complains that his competitors are intimidated by him, and that he would win if there was a guest judge. Fabio, Tiffany, and Mike end up in the bottom. Then Padma calls Dale out because he put Mike on the bottom. He didn’t like the spice and the cheese together. Tiffany thinks there were dishes worse than hers. Isn’t anyone else going to get called out? Fine. Top 3 are Antonia, Dale, and Angelo, who claims surprise. Richard complains again. The winner is Dale. Nice.

Now Padma tells them to go to Rockefeller Center to learn about the Elimination challenge. Field trip! When they get there, they manage to direct them around without anyone figuring out what’s going on. Until they get to the set of the Jimmy Fallon show. Fabio freaks out, as does Carla. Antonia looks around for pots and pans. They have to play some game called “Cellphone Shootout” which involves taking pictures of random things with their phones. Whatever you take a picture of, that’s what you have to make. Is this a thing? I don’t watch Jimmy Fallon. They’ll cook for his birthday lunch. Antonia and Fabio are up first. I think…it looks like there’s a screen, and the images flash quickly, and when Jimmy says “shoot” then you take a picture and hope it’s something good. So it’s not something you have control over. Antonia ends up taking a picture of beef tongue, and Fabio gets a burger and fries. Fabio can’t even pronounce “burger”. Angelo gets pulled pork, Richard has to make instant ramen (you know he’ll do some weird thing), Dale shoots Philly cheesesteak, Tiffany is making chicken and dumplings, Mike gets sausage and pepper sandwiches, Carla jumps up and down for chicken pot pie (which she said she wanted). They will have 2 hours to cook tomorrow. Jimmy hates mushrooms, mayonnaise, and eggplant.

45 minutes to shop. Carla very much wants to win. Dale worries he won’t make authentic enough cheesesteaks, but he finds pretzel bread which probably will be delicious. Fabio is going to treat his burger like a meatball. Tasty.

Back home, apparently chefs are willing to eat frozen Butoni ravioli. Damn product placement. However I don’t see jarred sauce so that’s something. Richard talks, again, about how he has to win. This really isn’t looking good for him.

In the morning Dale says Angelo is pretty and discusses his tight pants. He does look excellent in his tight pants and no shirt.

Angelo says his strength is flavor. How’s he going to make pulled pork in two hours? Antonia is freaking out because normally tongue takes 4-5 hours to cook. Richard explains to her how to work the pressure cooker, and Mike thinks he shares too much. Whatever. However, Mike doesn’t hesitate to ask Angelo’s opinion of his food. Dale’s never made cheesesteaks before. Tiffany feels she’s “a good mess”, on the top and the bottom and everywhere. Carla is starting to feel the pressure, because while she was overexcited about the pot pie, she’s never made it in 2 hours. She shrieks a lot.

Gail is here today, which should be good. Jimmy seems to be a fan of the show. Fabio has short rib meat in his burger, and melted cheese sauce on the side. Mike sneers at it, and while I’ve never seen melted cheese sauce either, 1. it’s probably delicious, and 2. I’m still pissed about the gay comment, so Mike can cram it with walnuts. Antonia’s tongue tastes good. Heh.

Antonia: beef tongue, pumpernickel rye, caramelized onions, dill slaw. Fabio: hamburger (chuck, brisket, and short ribs meat), melted cheese sauce, fries. The burger is almost like a meatloaf. Sadly Tom is grossed out by the cheese. The tongue surprisingly goes over very well. Richard: ramen noodles with seared pork belly, duck legs, and a duck leg. Oo, proper ramen noodles, which I am ashamed to admit I’ve never had. Must remedy that. Tiffany: chicken, dumplings with poblano chilies, red peppers, cilantro and lime. Jimmy expected crazy time from Richard. I think it was good. Tiffany’s food is spicy, and I think they are indifferent about it. Carla: chicken pot pie with carrots, celery, pea salt and herbs. Dale: Philly cheesesteak on a pretzel roll, hot sauce, onions and cheddar cheese sauce. That sounds so good. However it’s too salty. Carla’s pot pie is so delicious Tom can’t be interrupted to voice an opinion. Angelo: pulled pork with coffee, dill, allspice, and chipotle rub, and coleslaw. Mike: sausage, peppers, onions, garlic, fennel, and paprika. Mike stuffed his own sausage. *snort* Angelo’s pork goes over very well, as does Mike’s. in the end everyone comes out with a cake. Jimmy says the winner of the challenge will get to have a cooking segment on his show.

Commercial interlude: Jimmy tells a story about how Food and Wine magazine asked him for a recipe, and he gave them one from his mom, which she originally got from…Food and Wine magazine. Eh…that was like, mildly amusing at best.

Everyone laughs at Carla’s freaking out, including Carla. Padma calls Carla, Angelo, and Antonia. These are the winners. Angelo put coffee, dill, cilantro, all together, and magically it worked. Jimmy and Carla have a nearly incoherent conversation about making sure the pot pie has a crust on the bottom as well as the top. Antonia did really well with her curveball. Then she reveals there is a song about the beef tongue, which they demand the three chefs sing. It’s weird. Anyway, the winner is Carla! Not only does she get to be on Jimmy’s show, but she gets a 6 night trip to Tokyo and $5000. She’s won three trips. She’s won three trips? Wow.

Tiffany, Fabio, and Dale. Oo, I really thought Richard was getting the loser edit. However, he does get to complain that you don’t have to win until the end. He and Mike say they’ll take not being in the bottom. Tiffany’s dumplings were too thin, so it wasn’t as comforting and it wasn’t the same. Padma knows Fabio was making meatballs and not burgers. It was too much like meatloaf and the cheese got grainy. Dale thinks maybe he was spooked from the last challenge, where they said he had bland food. Too salty.

Dale forgot that pretzel bread has salt on it. Everyone seems to accept the mistakes. Tiffany masked the chicken with all the other stuff, and moved too far from most people’s idea of “chicken and dumplings”. Fabio had the same problem, in that he didn’t make a burger. Dale didn’t taste his food, or realize how all the components would taste together.

We didn’t spend very much time berating people today, did we? I kind of like it. But then Padma sends Fabio home. No! I love Fabio. Suck. Fabio says one day he’ll cook Jimmy a burger “and you will go on your knee and beg for forgiveness”. Hee. He says you should go for what you want, if he can make it in America anyone can.

Next week: holy shit it’s Muppets. OK, OK…Elmo, Cookie Monster, and…I don’t know who the other one is. Crazy running through Target. I think they’re cooking in Target. Ming Tsai! Tony says Dale (I’m pretty sure that’s who he’s talking about) is always making good stoner food and has Tom given him a urine test? Hee.