TAR17, Recap Leg 10, 11/28/10

Welcome to Leg 10! Last time, on Coming Out of the Dhaka, teams raced from Oman to Dhaka, Bangladesh. Team Who grabbed an awesome flight to Dhaka and landed squarely in first place. The introduction of a double U-Turn places Neverland versus Infomercial for last place, and it was Brook and Claire who pulled it out. Neverland goes home, not a moment too soon. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jill/Thomas, Team Who?
2nd – Nick/Vicki, The Geniuses
3rd – Nat/Kat, Team ER
4th – Brook/Claire, Team Infomercial

Lalbagh Fort, Dhaka, Bangladesh

8:25 AM Jill/Thomas (1st)
Clue: Fly 3500 miles to Hong Kong, China! Once there, make your way by bus to the central ferry terminals, and then board a ferry to Cheung Chau. Once on Cheung Chau, find the Cheung Po Tsai Cave.

(Toyouke: “GREAT now I have to listen to you talk about all the stuff you went to.” Kmanpat: “Oh, you say that as if you didn’t want to hear me talk about it. . .”)

1:59 PM Nick/Vicki (2nd) – (Toyouke: “Wow...that is some lead.”)
4:05 PM Nat/Kat (3rd)
5:15 PM Brook/Claire (4th) – Brook exclaims that they are the only team who has ever been U-Turned that has survived the U-Turning. (Toyouke: “Really? No one else who's been U-Turned has survived? I feel like that is false.” Kmanpat: “Yeah, I checked it. Since the introduction of the U-Turn in TAR12, no team that the U-Turn affected continued past that leg.”)

Teams leave the Pit Stop and head towards the Airport. They arrive in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Brook/Claire
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Jill/Thomas – who actually stop by a travel agent first to find that the earliest flight is 11:55 PM on Singapore Airlines. Thus, everyone gets on the flight.

So, the Amazing Red Line takes us to Hong Kong. All teams arrive in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Brook/Claire
3- Nat/Kat
4- Nick/Vicki

Teams then get their busses:

Bus 1
1) Jill/Thomas

Bus 2
1) Brook/Claire
2) Nat/Kat
3) Nick/Vicki

Teams arrive at the Central Ferry Terminal in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nat/Kat
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki – who don’t make the first ferry due to Vicki’s asthma. (Auburnium0513: “Wow, we get rid of obnoxious Chad, and now Nick starts acting even more like an asshat.”)

Teams now make their way to Cheung Chau via ferry. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nat/Kat
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

Teams then make their way on foot to the Cheung Po Tsai Cave. They arrive and get their next clue in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

Teams are now instructed to go back to the ferry terminal and take the ferry to Kowloon. Once there, they are to find the Majesty Chinese Restaurant to get their next clue.

So, everyone heads back to the ferry and arrives in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nat/Kat
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

And then teams arrive at the Kowloon Ferry Terminal in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

Teams then taxi to the Majesty Chinese Restaurant. They arrive in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

And teams come to the tenth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
“Who’s feeling peckish?”

In this roadblock, one team member must use chopsticks to attack a buffet of Chinese delights and find one of only five fake food items on the table. Once discovered, they hand it to the chef, who will give them their next clue. However, if they pick up a piece of real food by accident, they must eat it.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Nat
2- Thomas
3- Claire
4- Vicki – Nick: "This isn't fun." (Toyouke: “YOU aren't throwing up in the bathroom, so shut it.”)

After much eating (and throwing up), teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

Teams are now instructed to “Enter the Dragon” and find the statue of Bruce Lee on the Avenue of the Stars on the Kowloon riverfront to get their next clue.

Teams arrive at Bruce Lee in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Ding Ding OR Sampan
*Ding Ding: Teams board the tram on Hong Kong Island and ride it over a specific distance to locate three distinct red and yellow signs that say “Pit Stop”, “Statue” and “Square”. If the teams get to the end of the tram and have not seen all of the signs, they must get back on until they know the location of the Pit Stop.
*Sampan: Teams travel to Jumbo Kingdom dock and pick up a cage of parakeets and a sampan. Teams ride the sampan in Aberdeen Harbour to find the boat with the registration number on the parakeet cage. Once they find the right boat, they will trade their parakeets for the pit stop location.

(Toyouke: “Hmm...as it's getting dark I would pick the neon signs over boats.”)

1-Nat/Kat choose Sampan
2-Jill/Thomas choose Ding Ding – but are unobservant. So, they Bald Snark to Sampan.
3-Brook/Claire choose Sampan – (Toyouke: “If I was Brooke's bird, I would probably also try to drown myself.”)
4-Nick/Vicki choose Sampan – and get grumpy. (Toyouke: “Seriously? This morning you yelled at your girlfriend for holding you back and now you're giving up and sleeping in the boat.”) So rather than complete the whole task, they quit and take a six hour penalty.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas – who have taxi problems. (Toyouke: “I feel like they're going to win on a combination of other people failing and dumb fucking luck.”)
2- Nat/Kat
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

Teams get their clue and find that they must now find Statue Square, the PIT STOP of the tenth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Nat/Kat – who win a trip for two to Rio De Janeiro. (Auburnium0513: “I really hope Nat and Kat become the first all-female team to win.”)
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki

And Nick and Vicki . . . are safe with the third non-elimination leg. However, they have a lot of time to make up, a 6 hour penalty, and a speed bump on the next leg. And probably some bunching. (Toyouke: “I like the second chance for Vicki, but not for Nick. Sadly. But I like that she kind of didn't accept his apology.”)

ORDER NOW:
1st – Nat/Kat
2nd – Jill/Thomas
3rd – Brook/Claire
4th – Nick/Vicki

Next week: Korea! Brook: “North Korea should put all of the other teams in a time out.” (Toyouke: “Oo, can we trade Brooke to North Korea? “) And there’s speed skating! White water rafting! Military pursuits! The penultimate leg! Until next time! Clicky clicky

TAR17, Recap Leg 8, 11/21/10

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on Hail Mary, Full of Grace, Oman, teams raced from St. Petersburg to Muscat, Oman. Neverland overslept, and then showed up in Oman just in time for Chad to propose. But it was Gary and Mallory who made a navigational error that caused their elimination. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Chad/Stephanie, Team Neverland
2nd – Jill/Thomas, Team Who?
3rd – Nick/Vicki, The Geniuses
4th – Brook/Claire, Team Infomercial
5th – Nat/Kat, Team ER

Al Alam Palace, Muscat, Oman

11:10 AM Chad/Stephanie (1st)
Clue: Fly 2000 miles to Dhaka, Bangladesh! Once there, find Sundarban Square Supermarket and find the sugar cane press. Teams then fill mug with the juice, and one team member must drink the whole glass to get their next clue. There is a Double U-Turn on this leg.

(Toyouke: “STUPID DOUBLE U-TURN even worse than a regular one. I don't even know how it's "double" and I don't care.”)

Chad: “I don't want to lose to a pair of girls.” (Auburnium0513: ”Really? And she agreed to marry him?")

11:27 AM Jill/Thomas (2nd)
12:57 PM Nick/Vicki (3rd)

1:36 PM Brook/Claire (4th)
3:37 PM Nat/Kat (5th)

Teams leave the Pit Stop and head towards Muscat International Airport. They arrive in the following order:

1- Chad/Stephanie
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nat/Kat

Teams then get tickets on their flights. Chad and Stephanie find the first flight out of Muscat that takes them through Mumbai and Dehli and gets them to Dhaka the next day at noon. Team Who, The Geniuses and Infomercial also snag those flights. However, Jill and Thomas keep looking and find a Qatar Air flight that is scheduled to arrive in Dhaka at 5 am. So, they take the flight. Nick and Vicki, meanwhile, work at one ticket counter with Brook and Claire at the other over a pair of tickets that get them an 8:40 am arrival. Nick and Vicki win out. Nat and Kat catch the first flight to Dubai, and then manage to catch up with the 12 pm arrivals in Mumbai. Chad and Stephanie eat Dairy Queen. (Toyouke: “Oman has a Dairy Queen, apparently. I love that the camera is like, spying on Chad and Stephanie, like if they saw it they'd know they should go back to the ticket counter.”)

So, the flight patterns look like this:

Flight 1, arrive 5:00 AM
1) Jill/Thomas – (Toyouke: “7 hour lead. Not bad. Good job.”)

Flight 2, arrive 8:40 AM
1) Nick/Vicki – (Toyouke: “How did they get seats when there was only one seat left?”)

Flight 3, arrive 12:00 PM
1) Chad/Stephanie
2) Brook/Claire
3) Nat/Kat

All teams arrive in Dhaka in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Chad/Stephanie
4- Nat/Kat
5- Brook/Claire

Teams then take a taxi to Sundarban Square Supermarket, and arrive in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Chad/Stephanie
4- Nat/Kat
5- Brook/Claire

Teams then pressed their sugar cane and poured it into their mugs. Team members drank the pressed sugar in the following order:

1- Thomas
2- Nick
3- Chad
4- Kat
5- Brook

Teams finished the task in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Chad/Stephanie
4- Nat/Kat
5- Brook/Claire

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Balanced Meal OR Balanced Bricks
*Balanced Meal: Teams take a bicycle rickshaw to Shah Jahan’s food market, where they pick up 30 tiffins of food. Teams then get into a rowboat and travel across the harbor to a ship and deliver the 30 meals. Teams return to shore with 10 empty tiffins to get their next clue.
*Balanced Bricks: Teams take a bicycle rickshaw to brick barge, where they collect bricks and deliver them nearby via their heads. Once 100 unbroken bricks are delivered, teams get their next clue.

1-Jill/Thomas choose Balanced Bricks
2-Nick/Vicki choose Balanced Meal – and it spills on them, causing the two of them to complain. (Toyouke: “I bet it's good food in there, VICKI.”)
3-Nat/Kat choose Balanced Meal
4-Brook/Claire choose Balanced Meal
5-Chad/Stephanie choose Balanced Meal

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Nat/Kat
4- Brook/Claire
5- Chad/Stephanie

Teams are now instructed to travel on foot to the Dhaka River Port.

CAUTION: DOUBLE U-TURN AHEAD

This is a Double U-Turn. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is doubled, meaning two teams may U-Turn two other teams. Phil, during his explanation, does not say how many U-Turns there will be on this race.

(Toyouke: “So the question is, if someone U-Turns me, can I still U-Turn someone else?”)

1-Jill/Thomas choose to U-Turn Brook/Claire – (Toyouke: “I'm OK with Brooke and Claire. Can't get rid of them any other way.”)
2-Nick/Vicki choose not to U-Turn – although they do debate it for a bit, Vicki says they know at least one team is U-turned behind them, so why waste it? (Toyouke: “Hmm, I would argue that Nat and Kat are stronger than Chad and Stephanie. But I can also see that you know 3 teams are behind you and one already was U-Turned, so what's the point now?”)
3-Nat/Kat choose to U-Turn Chad/Stephanie – (Toyouke: “Nat and Kat used that well.”) 4-Brook/Claire have been U-Turned – so they go back and do Balanced Bricks.
5-Chad/Stephanie have been U-Turned – so they go back and do Balanced Bricks. (Toyouke: “Oh Chad. I smell Killer Fatigue.” Auburnium0513: "Stephanie, are you SURE you want to marry this guy?")

Once all this u-turn nonsense is taken care of, teams find their next clue, which tells them to take a bicycle rickshaw to Nazira Bazaar and find Tekka Mistiri Rickshaw Garage to get their next clue.

Teams arrive at the garage in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Nat/Kat
4- Brook/Claire
5- Chad/Stephanie

And teams come to the ninth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
*Question Not Visible*

In this roadblock, one team member must enter the mechanic’s shop and assemble a rickshaw bicycle from scratch, being certain to put on the wheels, seat, canopy, bell, tassels, pedals, back seat and chain. Once complete, the owner will give them their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Jill – “Nuts. And bullets.”
2- Nick
3- Nat
4- Brook – “I’m going to charge like a spider monkey!”
5- Stephanie

After much rickshaw building, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Nat/Kat
4- Brook/Claire
5- Chad/Stephanie

Teams get their clue and find that they must now find Lalbagh Fort, the PIT STOP of the ninth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Jill/Thomas – who win a $15000 Discover Gift Card. (Toyouke: “Jesus, that is a ridiculous prize.”)
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Nat/Kat
4- Brook/Claire
5- Chad/Stephanie


And Chad and Stephanie are eliminated. Good riddance, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. (Toyouke: “So...Chad says nice things about Stephanie but she does not respond with "I'm so glad I'm spending forever with Chad.")

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jill/Thomas
2nd – Nick/Vicki
3rd – Nat/Kat
4th – Brook/Claire

Next week: Hong Kong! Brook does her Dim Sum Dance. And Nick . . . doesn’t. Until next time! Clicky clicky

Top Chef:Just Desserts 11/17/10--"Finale" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: Godiva finally called in their sponsorship and everyone had to make chocolates relating to their lives, which Godiva can steal and sell later. I never go to Godiva to buy chocolates as I go to the little shop near my house that sells things like ginger caramels and chai truffles. So I don’t know if it’s any good or not. Then everyone had to make anniversary cakes for Sylvia Weinstock and her husband, which caused them to freak out. Danielle wins, because although her cake was gray on purpose it tasted delicious. Zac made a Cake Wreck so he was sent home. (click for more)

But first a montage of the season and all the crazy pants. While Yigit has very high highs, his lows are pretty low. The same goes for Danielle. Morgan has been more consistent, but if Yigit has a good day, he’ll probably take it. If.

Yigit sort of freaks out about the finale. Morgan is glad that Zac is gone and calls him an annoying little fairy. Mostly because he’s pissed Zac tried to throw him under the bus by saying he didn’t care about winning anything. Danielle is working off the boost she got from winning the last challenge. She wants to win to boost her business.

Gail waits alone to greet everyone. Yigit says her dress is “fierce” but while she does look good, it’s just a little black dress and black pumps. They get congratulations, and then she gives them their final challenge: they must create a “progressive” four course dessert tasting for 12 people. Morgan is like, uh…I can make whatever I want? There must be a catch. Gail tells them to go back to the loft and change because there is a “special surprise” waiting. Danielle watches “Top Chef” and is hoping for her mom.

They go out to a bar (which is absolutely empty) and they find Johnny just chilling and drinking a cocktail. Heh. They all just hang out with Johnny and have drinks, and he says he ordered them some desserts. They look good. Yigit thinks they are “snazzy” for a cocktail bar, and I am also suspicious. Johnny is like, hey! Let’s meet the chefs who made them! Yigit assumes it’s someone who’s been eliminated, who took a long time to cook. Oh, certainly not. It’s Elizabeth Faulkner, Sherry Yard, and Claudia Fleming. We’re going the “celebrity sous chefs” route, as opposed to the “eliminated contestants” route. Everyone freaks out. Man, having a sous chef with skills has to be even more important to a pastry chef. They draw to get matched up: Yigit with Sherry, Danielle with Elizabeth, and Morgan with Claudia. Morgan tries to pretend his cookie says “Johnny” which is actually kind of funny.

In the morning, Morgan worries that Claudia will think he’s “some ass clown who doesn’t belong here.” First of all, she’s not judging, and secondly, if that concerns you then maybe don’t act like an ass clown. Yigit whines that Morgan kept the AC on all night, and the vent is over his bed, and Morgan knew he had a cold, and whatever. You could have slept on the couch. Or, if Morgan is so hot when he sleeps, you can move the beds around. He’s not doing it on purpose to make you sick, he’s just an ass clown. Yigit says he won’t let it get to him, as he trips on the stairs. I hate when people are like, “Let me make a point to complain about this person, but you know, I’m so awesome I can forgive them.” Own your annoyance.

Shopping time. 45 minutes, $400. Danielle knows no one expected her to be here. Yigit says he would be sad to lose, especially to Morgan. Oh, I thought you were over him?! That’s why those people bug me.

7 hours to cook. Yigit notices that Morgan is a dick but Claudia is perfect so she’s got a challenge. Danielle is intimidated by Elizabeth. So she makes her shell pistachios. Really? That…seems like a waste. Sherry and Yigit dance around as he explains he wants his food to be like taking the judges on a date. His first course is a take on a gimlet. Morgan is doing primary colors for his theme. He’s making some German cake…there are circles…all I know is that the cake has individual layers that are baked separately. Danielle has no theme. She feels themes are stupid, so she’s just making a menu she wants.

Johnny has his chef jacket on today, I guess to impress the sous chefs. Danielle promises him he will love her dishes, even though they might be too far into her comfort zone. Yigit brags about how clever his menu is. He says he’s listening to what the judges said. Morgan’s theme might set him apart, possibly. That was useful.

Morgan tastes something with black pepper, and he and Claudia argue over if there is too much pepper. He starts to explain something to her, I think making “caviar” out of stuff, and Claudia just has a blank stare. She doesn’t need to know, she says. True, she just needs to keep track of containers. Sherry announces the one hour mark while she brandishes a lit blowtorch. Everyone says goodbye to the sous chefs and Yigit mentions he thinks Sherry will be a big help tomorrow so I assume the sous chefs won’t be around then.

Morgan calls home to talk to his son. He wants to spend more time with his son. OK, he’s getting choked up which is sweet. In the morning, Yigit says not winning will crush him. He was going to business school and his dad told him to do what he wanted. Then he died, so now Yigit says his chef’s jacket weighs heavily on him.

When they get to the kitchen, all the eliminated contestants are there to greet them. See, they had too many clips of Yigit being excited to work with Sherry again. Gail says that their celebrity sous chefs are actually diners. Oo. Everyone gets one eliminated contestant to work with. Ew, that means that a whole bunch of them had to show up for no reason. Actually…if Seth hadn’t gone mental, there would be 9 eliminated contestants--three per finalist. So I wonder if they were supposed to get a whole team, but since there are only 8 of them now (Seth isn’t there), they changed it so they only get one each? Morgan immediately declares he will walk out if he is stuck with Zac. Yigit draws Tim’s name, Danielle gets Tania (the first person out), and Morgan draws Heather H. Morgan says he doesn’t trust her, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t trust anyone. The remaining 5 get to eat. Heh. So surprise! You’re serving 17 people instead of 12! That is so pointless. It’s the finale. This twist is unnecessary.

3 hours to finish. Heather hates Morgan too, so this should be fun. She hopes Morgan doesn’t win. But will she sabotage him? Yigit knows he has a problem finishing his dishes. Morgan is making soufflés. For some reason he’s making them in ring molds, and Heather is actually being helpful by sugaring the molds (as you would do in a normal soufflé) but of course Morgan is making special magic soufflé that you can’t sugar, or whatever, so he says he wants her to sit in the corner and not sabotage his food. Did you tell her it was special soufflé? No? Then be quiet. Danielle’s first dish is a cheese course. Good for her. Yigit is making yogurt caviar. Yigit says you have to be careful with it and know what you’re doing, but Morgan is trying to do the same thing and failing. His base is too thick? Or he’s left it in the solution too long? Whatever the case, it’s not turning out right and Yigit wonders why he doesn’t ask Heather for help. Oh, like THAT’S going to happen. Yigit says AGAIN how he would be upset if he lost, so I guess the editors want to make absolutely sure we know how important it is to him. We get it. You can stop now.

There are a lot of big names in the dining room. Claudia complains to James Oseland that she has “Morgan rage”. Heh. First course time. Yigit says something about “a dance we’re going to have through my palate”. Cucumber and lime sorbet with Straus yogurt caviar pearls. That sounds good. Morgan: passion fruit cannolli with mango carpaccio, fluid gel, and tarragon jelly. Danielle: hazelnut cake with Spanish goat cheese and fig jam. Yum. Morgan’s dish is pretty to look at. They like the tarragon jelly. They love Yigit’s sorbet, and they find Danielle’s dish very good and they’re impressed with how much work she put into it.

Morgan’s second dish is technically “blue” but is not really blue. Yigit wonders about it. Also Morgan’s caviar didn’t set up, so it’s just mush right now. Second course. Yigit: strawberry sorbet and lemongrass ginger ice cream with berry meringue and consommé. Morgan: blueberry pavlova with lemon cream in citrus chamomile broth and chamomile pearls. I think the “pearls” are what didn’t set up. Maybe the broth is the remnants of that too. Danielle: a “palate cleanser” of Mayer lemon parfait, pomelo and tangerine sorbet, and muscato granita. The judges praise Yigit’s dish for its restraint. Danielle’s plating kind of fails, but it tastes good. Morgan’s point of view is good but didn’t go far enough. Yeah…it’s not really “blue”. I’m not seeing his color story or whatever.

Morgan tries to unmold his soufflés which did not bake evenly and are falling down. Morgan admits Heather is keeping him together, but does not apologize for accusing her of sabotaging him on purpose. They try to give the best soufflés to the judges but that doesn’t exactly work out. Third course. Yigit: muscovado braised pineapple and coconut cake, coconut lime soup with tapioca pearls. Morgan: manjari chocolate soufflé cake with raspberry sorbet and cocoa nib paper. Danielle: baked Alaska, strawberry sundae, and a root beer float. Yigit did very well, while Morgan’s soufflés have collapsed. But not everyone’s. Danielle’s baked Alaska is wonderful, and she used strawberry chips to add texture and extra flavor.

Morgan notices that Yigit is serving a lot of sorbet. Yeah…he kind of is. Final course. Finally. Yigit: hazelnut dacquoise, milk jam, and salted caramel ice cream. Dacquoise is a cake layered with meringue or cream. Morgan: white pepper crème brulee, black pepper baumkuchen, and blackberry anise macaron. Baumkuchen is the layer cake he had talked about before. Danielle: chocolate pudding cake with pistachio ice cream. They love Yigit’s milk jam candy. Someone thinks his ice cream doesn’t have enough caramel. Danielle’s dish lacks salt. Morgan has like, 20 layers in his baumkuchen. Everyone toasts themselves, and Morgan says Danielle and Yigit both had boring food so he’s going to win. Yeah…I think I was right.

Commercial interlude: everyone talks about how great this experience was. Jeez, couldn’t you find something more entertaining?

Gail reminds the three finalists of what they’re playing for. Morgan says this is some of the best food he’s made ever, Yigit feels the judges know him so well it’s like they went on a date, and Danielle wanted to show them something new. She describes her ice cream sampler, and Johnny says he loved how nostalgic it was. They also loved her homemade root beer. Gail wants to follow her around and make Danielle make her honey candy. Hee. She also knows her chocolate pudding makes you want to stop eating, but Johnny tells her the pulled sugar was pointless. Like sprigs of mint in the 80’s. Honey, people still do that. Danielle winces. But the pistachio ice cream was good. Yigit’s date metaphor worked for his dishes. His second course had consommé, which the waiters poured tableside. Sadly Johnny’s waiter did it wrong, and soaked his meringue in consommé so it got soggy. Also I was wrong, Yigit’s third course was warm, which made it a good contrast to all his ice cream and sorbet. Morgan says his top tray of soufflés didn’t cook enough. Plus, even though they tell the waiters things like “take these ones to the judges” the waiters NEVER do that so ¾ of the judges got soufflés that collapsed. I think the producers must wait outside the kitchen and give the waiters alternate instructions. Morgan swore he’d never make a macaron again, but it was delicious.

Everyone did a good job. Yigit’s progression was wonderful and he pushed himself. Danielle was the underdog, and Johnny felt she did the best job of planning her tasting. Gail will remember her baked Alaska. Morgan went all out. He’s technically perfect, except for the soufflé. Johnny points out that he’s won the most eliminations. Gail thinks it will come down to the details and mistakes.

The judges are proud of everyone, good job, etc. The winner is Yigit! Don’t doubt my reading of the editing, people. At least Morgan didn’t win. Morgan and Danielle talk about how great he is, but they seem pretty OK with it. Oh, and he wins a car, that he can try to park in San Francisco, where there are more registered drivers than there parking spaces. Have fun with that!

In two weeks: “Top Chef All Stars”! Clicky clicky

TAR17, Recap Leg 8, 11/14/10

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on To Russia, With Love, Team Jumba, teams raced through St. Petersburg, and played in the circus and on the court. Team Jumba made two critical taxi mistakes, while Neverland made one, and that was the difference in being eliminated. So Jumba is out. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nat/Kat, Team ER
2nd – Brook/Claire, Team Infomercial
3rd – Nick/Vicki, The Geniuses
4th – Gary/Mallory, The Hillbillies
5th – Jill/Thomas, Team Who?
6th – Chad/Stephanie, Team Neverland

Naryshikin Bastion, Peter and Paul Fortress, Saint Petersburg, Russia

1:06 AM Nat/Kat (1st)
Clue: Fly 4000 miles to Muscat, Oman! Once there, make your way to the Burj al Mabkhurah and find the man at the base of the tower to get an ingot with your entrance time to get next clue.

(Toyouke: “Random guy? Inscribed ingots? That seems needlessly complicated.”)

1:28 AM Brook/Claire (2nd) – (Toyouke: “Why is Brooke wearing enough makeup to pass as a streetwalker?”)
1:29 AM Nick/Vicki (3rd)
1:46 AM Gary/Mallory (4th)
1:53 AM Jill/Thomas (5th)
2:45 AM Chad/Stephanie (6th) – who are sleeping. It’s been a few seasons since a team has overslept their departure time, but Chad and Stephanie finally depart at 4:45 AM. (Toyouke: “Ooo...how long has it been since someone overslept their Pit Stop departure? Wow.” Kmanpat: “TAR3, Andre and Damon, Leg 6.”)

Teams leave the Pit Stop and head towards a travel agency to get tickets for flights. (Toyouke: “I'm impressed there is an English-speaking travel agent open at 1am.”) They arrive in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Brook/Claire
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Gary/Mallory
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Chad/Stephanie

Teams then get tickets on their flights. Nat and Kat find a flight through Amsterdam that gets them in at 8:55 PM. Once that fills, Nick and Vicki find the 10:35 PM arrival, also through Amsterdam. But when Chad and Stephanie arrive, all the flights through Amsterdam are gone, so they get a 10:45 PM arrival through another city. (Toyouke: “I know there's bunching coming up, but it would have been hilarious had they lost an entire day.”)

So, the Amazing Green, Red, and Yellow Lines look like this:

Flight 1 via Amsterdam, arrive 8:55 PM
1) Nat/Kat
2) Brook/Claire

Flight 2 via Amsterdam, arrive 10:35 PM
1) Nick/Vicki
2) Gary/Mallory
3) Jill/Thomas

Flight 3, arrive 10:45 PM
1) Chad/Stephanie

All teams arrive in Muscat in the following order:

1- Brooke/Claire
2- Nat/Kat
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Gary/Mallory
5- Nick/Vicki
6- Chad/Stephanie

Teams then drive themselves to the Burj Al Mubkharah, and arrive in the following order:

1- Brooke/Claire
2- Nat/Kat
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Chad/Stephanie
5- Gary/Mallory
6- Nick/Vicki

Teams collected their ingot times in the following order:

7:30 AM Climb
1) Brooke/Claire
2) Nat/Kat

7:45 AM Climb
1) Jill/Thomas
2) Chad/Stephanie

8:00 AM Climb
1) Gary/Mallory
2) Nick/Vicki

So teams sleep at the base of the tower. When teams get up at 6 am, Chad proposes to Stephanie (Auburnium0513: “I’m hoping she says no, since he's been such an ass.” Toyouke: “I would agree. He's an ass! Say no! You need to work on his being an ass before you agree to marry him. That's what I would do.”), and the graphic at the bottom magically changes from “Newly Dating” to “Engaged”. Woo. Now they can harass each other for the rest of their lives. (Toyouke: “Wrong answer. Correct answer: "We have some things to talk about like, how you blame me for all our problems. And I don't feel comfortable agreeing to spend my life with you if that's what I have to look forward to.")

Teams arrive at the top of the tower in the following order:

1- Brooke/Claire
2- Nat/Kat
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Chad/Stephanie
5- Nick/Vicki
6- Gary/Mallory

Teams are now instructed to drive to Jebel Shems, the tallest mountain in Oman. Once at the base, a safety driver will take over the drive to the summit to get the next clue. (Toyouke: “Aww, they don't have to drive on the dangerous road?”) Teams arrive at the base in the following order:

1- Chad/Stephanie
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

Teams then switch to the safety driver and arrive at the summit in the following order:

1- Chad/Stephanie
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

And teams come to the eighth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who wants to add a little magic to their life?

In this roadblock, one team member must rappel 500 feet into the canyon, and search the plateau for one of the genie lamps that contains Aladdin’s ring. Once they find the ring, they deliver it to the sheik for their next clue?

(Toyouke: “This is an interesting Roadblock. Although the question is misleading. It implies there is some magic happening. Possibly with the goats.”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Chad
2- Jill
3- Vicki
4- Claire
5- Kat
6- Mallory

After much rappelling and lamp searching, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Chad/Stephanie
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Nick/Vicki – who discover a flat tire upon completion. (Toyouke: “Uh, that's not just a flat tire, that looks like a broken wheel or axle.”)
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to the town of Nizwa and find the roundabout with the giant stack of books. Teams find the location in the following order:

1- Chad/Stephanie
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Water Table OR Wedding Table
*Water Table: Teams drive themselves to an ancient well and fill a water truck. Then, using an address and a drive, teams take the truck to Aswad al Eid and find the address, deliver the water, and get their next clue from the driver.
*Wedding Table: Teams go to a nearby market, buy 25 frozen chickens and other ingredients for maqbous, a traditional wedding soup, and present it to the bride and groom to get the next clue.

1-Chad/Stephanie choose Water Table – (Auburnium0513: “Wow, the newly engaged couple didn't take the wedding option?”)
2-Jill/Thomas choose Water Table – (Auburnium0513: “Ooo...first Fern of the season.”)
3-Nick/Vicki choose Water Table
4-Brook/Claire choose Water Table
5-Nat/Kat choose Water Table
6- Gary/Mallory choose Water Table

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Chad/Stephanie
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to Muttrah Souq and find Ghalib Bahkeet Salem Bait Kalshat al-Maha Store, which sells frankincense. Once there, teams take the incense and find Ali Baba in another store. (Toyouke: “"How are they supposed to identify Ali Baba?" Auburnium0513: "I don't know, I'm just waiting for the 40 thieves joke." Toyouke: "That would imply someone left in this group is smart enough to make it.") Teams arrive at the Muttrah Souq in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Chad/Stephanie
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Brook/Claire – who get caught by the cops going the wrong way on a one way street.
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

Teams get their incense and find Ali Baba in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Chad/Stephanie
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

Teams get their clue and find that they must now find Al Alam Palace, the PIT STOP of the eighth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Chad/Stephanie – who win a trip for 2 to Belize.
2- Jill/Thomas – who should have been first, but apparently there is a rule where you can’t pay taxis to lead you, so they got a 30 minute penalty.
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory

And Gary and Mallory are eliminated. I’m going to miss them and Mallory’s excitement about EVERYTHING.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Chad/Stephanie
2nd – Jill/Thomas
3rd – Nick/Vicki
4th – Brook/Claire
5th – Nat/Kat

Next week: Bangladesh! This probably means train travel. :) And a Double U-Turn! Until next time! Clicky clicky

Top Chef:Just Desserts 11/10/10--"Ben and Sylvia's 61st"

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: everyone had to make sugar/chocolate flowers, for some reason, and then they had to make desserts for a tea party. That part was lame, especially since they decided no one could use chocolate. Zac won, as he had not planned on using chocolate anyway. Eric finally went home, although he’s pretty proud of himself for getting this far. (click for more)

Yigit claims to be physically and emotionally battered from yesterday, and he wants to be the first San Franciscan/gay winner, and whatever, dude. Morgan misses his son, and also apparently Danielle has joined Zac and Yigit in plotting against him, and whatever, dude.

Giant pile of Godiva chocolate boxes. And Gail, and Francois Payard. Francois, in addition to being tough and famous, also used to be Morgan’s boss. Today they have to tell their “life story” through Godiva chocolates. Make 4 chocolates that represent 4 milestones, including a moment you cherish above all others, or “your golden moment”. Winner will have a piece “inspired” by them produced for Godiva so they can sell it. Gee, I wonder if it will be called “Golden Moments”.

Zac claims it’s not all about him. He and Yigit also school us on how to make chocolates. Morgan talks about moving to Brazil and marrying a Brazilian woman, which didn’t work out. Danielle is making shapes. Yigit talks about his boyfriend, who looks exactly like him. Morgan talks about his son. Zac is making dark chocolate and pretzels for his parents. Danielle appears to be making marshmallows. Zac is like, offended by Danielle‘s truffles, except really old-school truffles are lumpy so what is the problem? Morgan can’t find piping bags, and when he asks for them, no one responds immediately. So he goes on a profanity-laden tirade in confessional because he thinks Zac is hiding them. Yigit cracks all his truffles so he has to make more last minute. Zac is also having problems. In the end, Yigit only has three truffles.

Zac: his four chocolates are one gold square (dark chocolate with pretzel and feuilletine for his parents), one chocolate square with a G on it (milk chocolate with peanut butter and wild blueberry for his childhood), a white chocolate cylinder (lemongrass, lime, and ginger, for his best friend), and a round truffle (green tea and lemon for another best friend). Francois says his white chocolate is flat. Feuilletine is a crispy pancake thing. Danielle: coconut ganache with pineapple jam (for family vacations), milk chocolate with roasted banana filling and a heart (for her niece), milk chocolate with caramel corn and peanuts, shaped like a baseball (for her dad), and almond and marshmallow with milk chocolate nougat (representing the start of her business). They are all old fashioned truffles, so they‘re all lumpy except for the baseball one, which the judges like. Morgan: round molded yellow truffle with passion fruit and milk chocolate (for pastry school), flat square with acai rose water jelly on top of bittersweet ganache (for his marriage), a sandwich looking one which is a mendiant with rocher filling (for Top Chef crushing his soul), and a bright green green tea and white chocolate ganache truffle (for his son). Yigit: a square truffle with a yellow square on top, with dark and milk chocolate ganache with apricot pate de fruit (for his move from Turkey), a round bonbon with coconut milk and chai tea (for a pastry chef who introduced him to Buddhism), and almond praline and caramelized honey ganache (for his boyfriend). Francois likes the praline but thinks the bonbon is sweet.

Yigit is told he can’t be judged because he didn’t finish. Zac’s chocolates are too sweet and the flavors aren’t bold enough. Danielle has good interesting flavors, and Morgan’s chocolates are pretty but the green tea one was too sweet. But Morgan still wins. Danielle is annoyed that Morgan has won several times and has a giant pile of money, but still tells the judges that Top Chef is crushing his soul. His Top Chef truffle, with the rocher filling, will be produced by Godiva.

Elimination challenge: in walks Ben. He says that he and his wife are celebrating their 61st anniversary. Awesome! He tells the story about how they met on the beach and he is super cute. The chefs must make them an anniversary cake. Winner gets $15,000. Jeez, they’re just throwing money around like it grows on trees or something. They’ll be judged on appearance as well as taste.

Shopping appears to not be at Albertson’s but at a restaurant supply store possibly? There are steel shelves and professional looking equipment. They have $200. Danielle continues to complain about Morgan and then declares herself the underdog. So I’m sure that will turn out well for her.

They have 10 hours to prep, and 2 hours tomorrow. Zac is very nervous. Gail shows up and says she wants them to spend time with Ben and his wife…who is Sylvia Weinstock. Everyone claps and pretends to be glad but secretly wets their pants. I mean…would you want to make a cake for Sylvia Weinstock? Jeez. She tells them she likes lemon but her husband likes chocolate, and for her wedding she wore a gray dress and carried pink roses. She mentions how sex is a wonderful thing and everyone is embarrassed. There is a story about “smooching under the piano”. They are so cute. Cute old people!

Morgan interviews that he would love to be rid of Zac because Zac will sabotage your stuff and turn your oven off when you‘re not looking. Meanwhile Morgan is hogging one of the mixers for no reason. Zac wants to make two cakes with passion fruit ice cream. Danielle whispers to us that he keeps asking Yigit’s opinion about everything.

Johnny tries to look professional today in a chef’s jacket. Zac is trying to be professional with no glitter. Morgan is trying to learn from the last time he made a cake for Sylvia. Yigit is trying to go classic and simple, sort of. As simple as Yigit can get. Danielle is only making one cake.

Zac has a base done, but it looks bad and he doesn’t have time to do it over. It’s a weird blue. Morgan is hording the piping bags, because of yesterday. Danielle pretends no one else hordes stuff, which we all know is not true, and anyway they all know he has them so who cares? Danielle rolls her eyes. Yigit bubble wraps his cake, and says he has plenty of time to assemble it tomorrow. He’s concerned about his texture, because his cake is already baked. Isn’t everyone’s cake already baked? Most wedding cakes are baked several days in advance. I think it will be fine.

In the morning they end up at the house where the party is and everyone sets up. Morgan takes 30 minutes of his 2 hours and then sits around. Yigit snobs that Morgan’s cake is “too simple for me”. Zac giggles maniacally about his blue cake. He has added glitter.

The guests show up and I guess hang around and ask the chefs about the meanings behind the cakes. Morgan: three tiered cake in white buttercream, with a white shell border between the tiers and little polka dots. On top there is a piano filled with pink roses. It’s very simple but fairly elegant. Top tier: lemon sponge and raspberry panna cotta. Bottom tier: dark chocolate sponge with ganache. No word on what the middle tier is. Also on the piano there is a yellow bikini which refers back to when they met. I like the details. The judges like the textures of the cake also.

Danielle: three tiered round cake, in a dark gray. It’s not quite charcoal yet, more like a slate. There are pink roses here and there, and black and white rectangles in a spiral up around the cake for piano keys. She also made a monogram in gold. I don’t know if I like the piano keys, and the color might be too dark. Chocolate cake with sour cherry compote and Greek yogurt ice cream. The number of roses corresponds to the number of kids and grandkids. It’s very moist and delicious, but maybe battleship gray is not the best color. Johnny tries to make some joke but ends up implying Sylvia is a battleship.

Zac: another three tiered round cake, but that is where the similarities end. It is bright blue, for the ocean, with “sand” and glitter and brittle around the bottom, and white chocolate shards that I guess are coral. It’s very Zac and not very Sylvia. Around the middle tier there is a row of black and white coins. Top tier: dark chocolate and fresh raspberry. Bottom tier: lemon sponge and raspberry jam, with passion fruit ice cream to tie the tiers together. Zac knows his presentation is not that great. Sylvia wants it to be more elegant. But it would make a great bar mitzvah cake! Hee. His chocolate cake tastes almost burnt.

Yigit: I think Yigit has 5 tiers. It’s all in a light yellow, and the 2nd and 4th tiers have black and white rectangles for piano keys. On the top of the cake are pink flower petals (more like pink shards but it works). It’s very cheerful. Top tier: almond cake with chocolate mousse. Bottom tier: sponge cake with lemon cream. He has some trouble cutting into his cake. It kind of falls apart. Uh oh. There is also crème fraiche sorbet. There are too many layers and it doesn’t work. Danielle thinks the judges will only take today’s food into consideration. Right. Zac is bored by Morgan.

Commercial interlude: Morgan makes sure to be the last person out of the loft in the morning, I guess because he’s superstitious.

In the Stew Room Morgan rambles about the competitions. Everyone gets to see the judges. Danielle’s cake was imaginative with the piano keys, and moist. However, gray is not terribly appetizing. Yigit over thought his cake, but he did flavor his buttercream which was nice. His cake looked very elegant, but the pate de fruit in his bottom layer didn’t work at all. That’s why it fell apart. Morgan went simple, but the panna cotta needed acidity. The chocolate cake was dry too. The shell border was uneven and you could see the edges of the tiers between the shells. Ouch. Zac flailed and he knows it. However his cake was moist. Johnny wishes it was more mature in terms of décor. Zac tries to defend himself by saying he gets excited about being here and some people play it safe and that upsets him. However, to his credit, he does actually name Morgan instead of just saying “Well, I don’t want to get into it”. It bothers him that Morgan doesn’t seem to care about winning anything. Morgan says it’s not his character to “jump up and down and flail and sing show tunes”. Then he says that he would rather remain composed instead of “freaking out like a little girl”. Morgan, you aren’t helping your case any.

Back in the Stew Room Zac says something like “it’s personality, it’s not personal”. WTF does that even mean? Personality IS personal. Anyway. Judging. Zac executed the best he could, but it tasted good. Morgan kept it simple, but when you go that simple it has to be perfect. Morgan was not simple. They harp on Danielle’s color again. Hubert says that Yigit made his cake outside, with Zac’s cake inside. It’s too muddled and had problems.

Johnny says they’re all proud of everyone. The winner is Danielle! Well played, editors. I thought she was going to fail. Morgan played it safe, Zac put too much Zac into his cake, and Yigit needs restraint. Zac is eliminated. He says he’s not surprised to be eliminated as he made a Cake Wreck. Hee! He still whines that the judges didn’t bring up Morgan’s rubbery cake. He claims to have loved all the twists and to be invigorated and whatever.

Next week: finale time, some messes, something is incredible, a lot of yelling. Clicky clicky

TAR17, Recap Leg 7, 11/8/10

Welcome to Leg 7! Last time, on Slow Down, I’m Russian to Catch Up, teams raced continually east and were hit with lots of bunching, which places them smack dab in St. Petersburg nearly simultaneously. There’s music that drives everyone batty, and Jill and Thomas end up in first again, while Nick and Vicki find themselves in last place on the second non-elimination leg, in line for an upcoming speed bump. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jill/Thomas, Team Who?
2nd – Brook/Claire, Team Infomercial
3rd – Michael/Kevin, Team Internet
4th – Nat/Kat, Team ER
5th – Chad/Stephanie, Team Neverland
6th – Gary/Mallory, The Hillbillies
7th – Nick/Vicki, The Geniuses

Saint Isaac’s Cathedral, Saint Petersburg, Russia

8:30 AM Jill/Thomas (1st)
Clue: Join the Circus! Travel by taxi to Avtovo Circus to get your next clue.

(Auburnium0513: “I hate the lack of 12 hour pit stops.”)

Once they arrive, Jill and Thomas notice that the gate is closed, and that teams will probably bunch waiting for the opening.

8:35 AM Brook/Claire (2nd) – Brook: “I hope I get to wear a leotard!”
8:40 AM Michael/Kevin (3rd)

Nat/Kat (4th)
Chad/Stephanie (5th)
Gary/Mallory (6th)
Nick/Vicki (7th)

Teams arrive at Avtovo Circus and wait for it to open. Oh look, there’s the fake bear! It followed us from Sweden! When it does, they get their clues in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Michael/Kevin
3- Brook/Claire
4- Nat/Kat
5- Chad/Stephanie
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Nick/Vicki

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Circus Band OR Circus Clown
*Circus Band: Teams choose an accordion player and both team members perform a traditional Russian folk song. Once they perform the song with the band correctly, the band leader will give them their next clue.
*Circus Clown: Teams go into the big top tent and learn a plate spinning routine from the clowns that requires ten plates to spin for 10 seconds. Once the plates stay in the air, the clown will give them their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Learn to play the accordion" or "learn to spin plates". Both of those choices suck.”)

1-Jill/Thomas choose Circus Clown – after struggling for a bit, since the other Detour choice is so close, they Bald Snark to Circus Band. But when the music gets too long, Thomas decides they need to Double Bald Snark back to Circus Clown.
2-Michael/Kevin choose Circus Clown
3-Brook/Claire choose Circus Clown
4-Chad/Stephanie choose Circus Clown – however, after spinning plates and Chad knocking them onto the ground, they Bald Snark to Circus Band.
5-Nick/Vicki choose Circus Clown
6-Nat/Kat choose Circus Band
7-Gary/Mallory choose Circus Band

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Brook/Claire
2- Nat/Kat – whose numbering system help them complete the task.
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Gary/Mallory
5- Michael/Kevin
6- Chad/Stephanie
7- Jill/Thomas

At the end of the detour, teams are sent to solve a Russian mystery: “Find the canal bridge guarded by four creatures with golden wings.” This sends teams to Bank Bridge. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Brook/Claire
2- Nat/Kat
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Gary/Mallory
6- Jill/Thomas
7- Chad/Stephanie

Teams continue on their tour of Saint Petersburg, as they are now instructed to travel ON FOOT to 1 Vladimirskiy Prospekt Tower. In order to get there, teams are allowed to ask locals, but NOT have their taxi driver guide them. Once at the tower, only two team members may go up the tower at a time to find a small figurine which represents their next destination: The Church of the Savior on Blood. Teams arrive at Prospekt Tower in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Michael/Kevin – Michael: “Make sure to read the clue.” Kevin: “Don’t worry, dad. Hey, let’s get our taxi to lead us there.”
4- Brook/Claire
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Chad/Stephanie

Teams send the following team members up Prospekt Tower:

1- Kat & Nick (Toyouke: “Hee, reading the graffiti.”)
2- Kevin & Claire
3- Thomas & Mallory
4- Stephanie – who then sends Chad up when she fails.

Teams spot the church. Kevin convinces team HSN to take a cab with them to the church, which they do. When they realize the error, they head back to the tower and walk. However, Team Jumba and Team Neverland never get the hint, and both take a taxi to the church. (Toyouke: “Oh yes, take a taxi, Chad and Stephanie. You do that.”)

At any rate, teams arrive at The Church of the Savior on Blood in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Michael/Kevin – Kevin is horribly concerned with Nick misleading him at the Tower task. (Toyouke: “I would worry less about the lying and more about how you DIDN'T READ THE CLUE.”)
4- Brook/Claire
5- Gary/Mallory – (Toyouke: “I hear fake Tetris music. Right when Gary and Mallory get their clue at the church.“)
6- Jill/Thomas
7- Chad/Stephanie

At the church, teams are given one last mystery clue: “Where am I? Peter the Great is buried here.” This is Peter and Paul Fortress. Once teams find the fortress, they should go to the Gorodki Court to find their next clue.

Teams arrive at the fortress in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat – after having to go back to Bank Bridge and get their taxi with their bags.
2- Michael/Kevin
3- Brooke/Claire
4- Nick/Vicki – (Toyouke: “Hm...I wonder if Nick and Vicki were actually the only smart ones the entire leg who took their stuff with them. Nat and Kat have to go all the way back to the bridge.”)
5- Chad/Stephanie
6- Jill/Thomas – after having to go back to Bank Bridge and get their taxi with their bags.
7- Gary/Mallory – after having to go back to Bank Bridge and get their taxi with their bags.

And teams come to the seventh roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Between the two of you, who’s the real player?

In this roadblock, one team member must play the Russian game of Gorodki. Roadblockers need to clear three pin formations, each with two throws of the stick. Once complete, teams get their next clue from the gorodki coach.

Why is Phil standing on that board? He could get hurt. (Auburnium0513: “Watching Phil go down was hysterical.”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Kat
2- Michael
3- Brook
4- Nick
5- Stephanie
6- Thomas
7- Gary

After much stick throwing, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Brook/Claire
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Jill/Thomas
5- Gary/Mallory
6- Michael/Kevin
7- Chad/Stephanie

Teams get their clue and find that they must go pay their cab drivers and tehn search Peter and Paul Fortress for Naryshkin Bastion, the PIT STOP of the seventh leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Nat/Kat – who win $5000 each.
2- Brook/Claire
3- Nick/Vicki
4- Gary/Mallory
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Chad/Stephanie – who arrive sixth, but find out from Phil that they need to get their bags. When they return, they are seventh, but they are penalized 30 minutes for taking the cab to the church.
7- Michael/Kevin – who arrive after Team Neverland, but find out that they improperly used a cab on two occasions, giving them two 30 minute penalties. (Toyouke: “The Asian team lost because they DID NOT READ. EMBARRASSING.”)

And Michael and Kevin are last, thanks to failing on reading clues correctly.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Nat/Kat
2nd – Brook/Claire
3rd – Nick/Vicki
4th – Gary/Mallory
5th – Jill/Thomas
6th – Chad/Stephanie

Next week: Chad and Stephanie are MIA. . .do they miss their departure time? (Toyouke: “It's been quite a while since anyone slept through their Pit Stop time.” Kmanpat: “Yeah, TAR3.”) And Mallory is overwhelmed in Oman. “Hail Mary, full of grace. . . “ Um, honey, they’re Muslim . . . Until next time! Clicky clicky

Top Chef:Just Desserts 11/3/10--"Celebritea Party"

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: we recycled challenges from regular “Top Chef”. Someone somewhere called it “Top Chef: Savory” and I wish I remembered where I saw it, because I think it’s really cool. Anyway, mise en place relay race time. Magically, Team Diva is all on the same team, and they win, which is sad, but then it’s time for Restaurant Wars, and we all know the “stronger” team has a very hard time winning Restaurant Wars. This does not change, and Team Positive wins, due to Morgan and Eric and Danielle making good food (Morgan especially) and not making thick pastry crust, as Heather did. So Heather is sent home, and Yigit and Zac cried like she was headed to the gallows. (click for more)

Danielle gloats that Team Diva has been reduced. She’s the last girl left. Yigit continues to complain that Heather went home, but I think mostly it’s about how he was in the bottom 3.

Guest judge today is Shinmin Li, who is a cake decorator. Today they will be making an edible bouquet. Eric frowns. It sounds like a showpiece. They will get 3 hours to work, which is kind of a long time. Since they can’t win immunity anymore, they CAN win $5000.

Zac is going to use chocolate instead of sugar. Danielle is trying to go for natural, because she usually uses real flowers. Eric is making a small vanilla cake with sugar flowers. Yigit is going to make his own pulled sugar vase. Morgan is using chocolate too, and is excited about pulling sugar. Yigit is doing this cool thing where he dips ring molds in liquid sugar, and then pulls them up slowly to stretch the sugar up to make a very thin vase. He leaves them to cool, but Morgan puts his elbow through one. Why are they so close to the box thing that other people are using? To his credit, Morgan seems really sorry, even though Yigit in confessional thinks he did it on purpose. But since he can’t prove it, of course, he pretends he’s just a big person. Yigit breaks the other one himself. Zac doesn’t know what he’s doing. When it’s all over Yigit looks around and decides everyone else did worse than he did.

Morgan: he has chocolate flowers and some pulled sugar in a bow, plus some red and orange flowers. But the vase and most of the flowers are uncolored chocolate. It is well formed but brown. Danielle: candied orange zest roses, sugar cookies, and marshmallow hydrangeas. They look pretty cool, except that it’s shown in a low box, and when you turn it around, you can see where she attached the cookies to stems. I like it though. It’s colorful. Yigit: a low glass box with glass rocks, pink flowers, and blue jagged pieces. The blue pieces sort of look like cactus leaves in shape, with weird chocolate paint that looks a little too much like blood. Yigit tells the judges he failed at the vases, while bragging that he was doing something awesome, and that he doesn’t give up. Whatever. Zac: chocolate disco flowers and leaves. Big shocker. It’s a set of mirrored tall rectangles, with chocolate flowers attached, and a pile of leaves. Shiny, I guess. Eric: giant cupcake with gum paste and buttercream flowers. It looks like a wooden flowerbox, with a cake about 4 times the size of a regular cupcake, covered in white and yellow flowers. He admits he is much more comfortable with piping flowers, instead of making pulled sugar.

Shinmin says a lot of people were overly ambitious. Zac was messy, Eric needed more height and his piping is messy (Eric thinks she’s rude), and Danielle has a back view that is not flattering and she tried too hard for contrasting textures. In the top, Morgan should have tried for a unique finish, but his is the most professional presentation, and Yigit’s final presentation is well balanced. Morgan wins. Yigit pretends to congratulate him but complains that if Morgan hadn’t broken one of his vases he would have won instead. Hey, you broke your other vase all by yourself. Morgan tells us that so far he’s won $36,000.

Elimination challenge: cater a tea party for Dana Cowin and her friends. The theme is “celebritea” which is pretty much exactly the kind of vague stupid “theme” I expect from a magazine editor. The contestants have to make a dessert inspired by a celebrity couple. Ugh. Morgan claims to know nothing about celebrities. Oh please. That’s like when people brag that they don’t watch TV. They will make 100 portions of two small “tea party” desserts. Gail also says that Dana is her mentor so don’t fuck it up and embarrass her. Heh.

Shopping. $300 and 30 minutes. Danielle’s celebrity “duo” is Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter. Hee. Zac, of course, loves musicals and celebrities and has selected Julie Andrews and her husband Blake Edwards. Blake Edwards has done some acting but is mostly a director, the Pink Panther movies especially. Sigh…he wants to put a spoonful of sugar on something. Morgan has to pick up a magazine for inspiration, and has decided on Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian. Uh…OK then. But he has an idea. Yigit’s couple is Madonna and Guy Richie. He is drawing parallels to their rocky relationship and the fact that Morgan has started kicking his ass in challenges. Eric’s couple is Oprah and Stedman. He says they’re “larger than life”, except that while I would agree that Oprah is an iconic figure, Stedman really isn’t. Ominously Eric says to save time he’ll just get chocolate from the pantry back at the kitchens.

Back at the kitchen with 3 hours to prep. Morgan wheels his cooler through the pantry and looks at the shelves. Which are empty with a sign that says “Temporarily out of stock”. There is no chocolate. At all. Johnny busts in, trying to be badass with his black T-shirt and wallet chain, and says since it’s the final 5, they need to bring it, plus no one has chocolate at tea parties? Or something? Zac laughs and laughs because after the Quickfire he decided not to use chocolate at all in his dessert. Morgan calls him a little girl which would probably hold more weight if Zac wasn’t like a little girl at times with the glitter and rainbows. Morgan pretends to walk out. Everyone (except Zac) is scrambling and freaking out. Eric had been planning a brownie for Oprah, but now he is doing sweet and savory shortbreads. Morgan is changing his cake recipe. Danielle, like Zac, wasn’t planning on chocolate anyway, but she’s not as loud about it as Zac was. She is making cake with jalapenos for Conan. Creative. Zac uses a lot of butter. Yigit is making his usual fancy stuff with interesting combinations but his heart’s not in it because it’s not what he wanted. Cooking ends and Yigit is still talking about how he’s not confident.

One hour to prep, at a “design studio” that they’ve made up to look like a little cozy country tea house. Yigit says it’s extremely hot, which is a problem. Serving will be staggered, and Eric is first. He doesn’t like his dish, because he had planned on chocolate, and all he’s hoping for now is to make it to the next challenge. He’s freaking out a lot, and seems to really dislike his food.

Eric: rosemary shortbread with apricot compote, and pecan shortbread with caramel. The savory shortbread is square, and I giggle at the “Stedman is square” comment. They’re messy, and Johnny complains they are too big, but they taste delicious and the shortbread is done properly. A random guest complains the display is too average. He had one of those stands with three plates on it, and a handle to carry with, and then the cookies were just put on the plates. I like that they’re both shortbread, like Stedman cannot be defined except as a variation on Oprah.

Morgan moves Zac’s stuff around, and Zac complains and tells him not to touch anything because he shakes the table. I think everyone is using the same plate stands. Zac: mascarpone cheesecake with Cap’n Crunch and tarragon sugar, and pink pavlova with grapefruit curd and meringue. It sounds good and I like how he referenced the couple. Zac says you can stack them on top of each other and eat them together. The judges love it.

Danielle is running around because she’s trying to pipe her cookies. Morgan is in her way and she bitches at him. She doesn’t think she’ll get done, and it’s not clear if she did or not. Strawberry jalapeno cake, and oatmeal cookie with buttercream and orange blossom water. The cake is very spicy, and is weirdly dense. They also don’t like the frosting on the cookie, but Johnny likes the range of flavors in her dishes.

Morgan mutters about chocolate. He tells the judges he picked out a dessert, then worked backwards to find a celebrity couple that would fit it. Eeehhhhhh…I might have docked him points for that. Almond sponge with apricot coulis and citrus buttercream. That is Reggie Bush. Kim Kardashian is a bittersweet citrus macaron. The macarons are really big, and taste good, except that the filling is oozing out when you bite into it. The sponge is great, but is much easier to eat with a spoon than with your fingers. Johnny claims the challenge was to make “finger food” which it was not. But you go ahead thinking that.

Yigit is stressed. He is piping teeny tiny cookies or something. Citrus yogurt cake with baked honey flan for Madonna, and brown butter sable with dulce de leche and calvados gelee. Calvados is a brandy, sables are cookies. Sadly when he was cooking I saw Guinness in his shopping bag but that is not here. The cake is bland and they don’t think it represents Madonna. They think she would be a more powerful flavor. And certainly not bland. At least the sable is masculine, if sweet. Shinmin thinks that his desserts wouldn’t last if they had to sit out. Back in the kitchen, it turns out Yigit didn’t plate all his desserts, and Eric says he might still have a chance to make it to the next challenge, and Morgan gloats that Yigit didn‘t do well. Suddenly the editing becomes crystal clear. And I don’t like it.

Commercial interlude: even though the contestants are living in a house that used to hold 12, somehow it is a problem that Danielle takes long showers, as I guess there is only one bathroom for all the poor boys to share with her.

Morgan, Zac, and Danielle get called first. No surprise there. Morgan admits his sponge wasn’t what he wanted, because he had to change his plan to not use chocolate. Shinmin says that even though you couldn’t really pick it up with your fingers, she was prepared to lick it off the plate. Zac wanted classy, which told him Julie Andrews, and he wants to be Julie Andrews. They absolutely loved both his desserts. Danielle’s desserts were funny, in a good way. Johnny says she planned a dessert, and executed the dessert she planned, finally. The winner is Zac. He claims Julie Andrews for his secret weapon.

Yigit and Eric face the music. Eric had a problem pushing through his problems. He didn’t tie his dishes to the challenge, or something, but I think he did that OK. The shortbread was uneven, though, and Johnny hates his lack of creativity in serving two shortbreads. He says he stalled and then all of a sudden is like “WTF did I just do?” Yigit was going to make two chocolate desserts, and he couldn’t bounce back. Madonna’s dessert didn’t match her personality, as it was mushy and bland. Johnny says it’s like a frozen petit four. Oo. He was angry Yigit allowed it to go out. Yigit says he came “completely undone” when Heather went home. Really? She affected you that much? Get it together.

Yigit embraced the celebrity challenge better than Eric. Eric’s flavor was OK (they said it was better than OK at the table, but whatever) but they are super insulted he served two shortbreads. Yigit had clear ideas about the challenge, it just didn’t work out. See? Editing. Suddenly Yigit did a lot better than Eric, and they can‘t find anything nice to say about Eric. Sigh.

Johnny bitches at Yigit and Eric for a while and then Eric is sent home. Like they’d get rid of Yigit over Eric. They should have, though. Eric has an affirmation that he is a chef. He thinks he became a chef here.

Next week: flailing, truffles, shocking twist. Probably former contestants. Clicky clicky

TAR17, Recap Leg 6, 10/31/10

Welcome to Leg 6! Last time, on Norway Am I Going to the Top of the Mountain!, teams hopped across the Sweden-Norway Border. The doctors conquered their fears of heights and eating meat and ended up in first place. The Volleyball players needed bunching, didn’t get it, and were eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nat/Kat, Team ER
2nd – Gary/Mallory, The Hillbillies
3rd – Jill/Thomas, Team Who?
4th – Michael/Kevin, Team Internet
5th – Brook/Claire, Team Infomercial
6th – Nick/Vicki, The Geniuses
7th – Chad/Stephanie, Team Neverland

Ankenes Marina, Narvik, Norway

8:26 PM Nat/Kat (1st)
Clue: Drive yourselves to Narvik Train Station. Take the train back to Stockholm, Sweden, and then catch a flight to St. Petersburg Russia! After travelling the 1200 miles, take a taxi to Vasilevsky Island and find the Rostral Columns to get your next clue.

Nat comments that they are competing against men all of the time in their jobs.

Gary/Mallory (2nd) – Mallory is grateful for the time with her father.
Jill/Thomas (3rd)
Michael/Kevin (4th)
Brook/Claire (5th)
Nick/Vicki (6th)
Chad/Stephanie (7th)

When Nat and Kat arrive at Narvik Station, they find that the train does not leave until 10:36 AM. (Toyouke: “Oo, the bunching that would have saved the volleyball players.” Auburnium0513: “That defeats the purpose of the Fast Forward last episode!”) So all of the teams find themselves on the same train to Stockholm. Aboard, the doctors and the HSN girls share a room and discuss how stinky they all are.

Teams arrive at Stockholm Central Station and get cabs to the airport in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Nick/Vicki
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Brook/Claire
5- Michael/Kevin
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Chad/Stephanie – (Toyouke: “I would expect more taxis near the train station.”)

Teams arrive at Stockholm-Arlanda Airport, only to find that everyone will be able to catch the Amazing Red Line flight to St. Petersburg. So, teams fly to Russia and arrive at Pulkovo Airport in the following order:

1- Brook/Claire
2- Michael/Kevin
3- Chad/Stephanie
4- Gary/Mallory
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Nick/Vicki
7- Nat/Kat

Teams get in their cabs and take them to Vasilevsky Island and the Rostral Columns and arrive in the following order:

1- Brook/Claire – Claire: “We’re rushing through Russia!” (Auburnium0513: “HSN team, please stop.”)
2- Michael/Kevin – Michael: “Kevin, pay attention, this is historic.” Kevin: “I don’t care dad.” (Toyouke: “Michael in Dad Mode is hilarious.”)
3- Chad/Stephanie
4- Gary/Mallory
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Nick/Vicki – Nick: “I like how they keep buildings and don’t blow them up.”
7- Nat/Kat – Nat: “Just call us Natalia and Katja.”

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Classical Music OR Classic Cinema
*Classical Music: Teams travel by taxi to Beloselsky-Belozersky Palace. Once there, teams find three gramophones and listen to three different compositions: Mussorgsky's “Pictures at an Exhibition”, Rimsky-Korsakov's “Scheherazade”, and Tchaikovsky's “Troika”. Then teams make their way into a music hall full of pianists playing different compositions. Teams determine which pianists are playing the correct compositions and take a copy of the sheet music from the pianists playing each of them. Once teams find the compositions and put them in the right order, then they would receive their next clue from the maestro.
*Classic Cinema: Teams make their way to Lenfilm Studios. Once there, teams find sound stage four and search through a pile of film clips to find one that matches Sergei Eisenstein’s October, which was playing for reference. Once the correct clip was found, teams would show it to the director to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Classical Music FTW! We would be all over that. Plus you can use the sheet music as a check.”)

1-Michael/Kevin choose Classic Cinema
2-Jill/Thomas choose Classic Cinema
3-Chad/Stephanie choose Classical Music – and, as the only team to complete the task, Chad admitted that he had to shut up and let Stephanie lead. Only after he was an asshat. (Toyouke: “Chad, you are not helpful. The answer to "What do you want to do?" is not "I feel like we should have left a long time ago."”)
4-Gary/Mallory choose Classical Music – but Bald Snark to Classic Cinema after having issues. Mallory: “Dear God, please help.” God: “Eh, classic cinema isn’t my thing. Besides, I’m in the tub.”
5-Nick/Vicki choose Classical Music – but Bald Snark to Classic Cinema after having issues. (Toyouke: “Oh, the Bald Snark may not be a good idea.”) And then after everyone else finds film clips, they double Bald Snark back to Classical Music, and have a much easier time. (Toyouke: “Unless you Bald Snark AFTER other teams, then it is an even worse idea.”)
6-Nat/Kat choose Classical Music – but Bald Snark to Classic Cinema after having issues.
7-Brook/Claire choose Classic Cinema

(Toyouke: “Auburnium0513 points out that once you guess, you have sheet music with you by the gramaphones to double check. If you know sheet music.” Kmanpat: “And clearly, these people don’t.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Brook/Claire
3- Michael/Kevin
4- Chad/Stephanie
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Nick/Vicki

At the end of the detour, teams are handed either a film canister or a record with the image of their next cluebox location on it: Palace Square. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Brook/Claire
3- Michael/Kevin
4- Chad/Stephanie
5- Nat/Kat
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Nick/Vicki

Teams are then directed to take their taxis to the town of Alexandrovskaya and find the neighbor hood store. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Brook/Claire
2- Michael/Kevin
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Nat/Kat
5- Chad/Stephanie
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Nick/Vicki

And teams come to the sixth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready for a Russian Drag Race?

In this roadblock, one team member must get into babushka garb, find 50 potatoes, a wheelbarrow and fill it with cow manure. Then, the roadblocker finds the field to plant the 50 potatoes as instructed by the babushka matron. Once complete, teams get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Why isn't PHIL dressed up?”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Brook
2- Kevin – (Toyouke: “I want one of the babushkas to comment on how cute Kevin is.“) Babushka # 1: “I like him. He’s a hard worker.” Babushka # 2: “We should keep him. They don’t work that hard around here.” Kevin: “I’ve got your poop and potatoes here!”
3- Jill
4- Nat
5- Stephanie – who throws the shovel in the manure and then laughs at Mallory’s misfortune. (Toyouke: “Stephanie, Stephanie...You can't be mean to Mallory. It's like kicking a dog.”)
6- Mallory
7- Nick – Nick: “But I thought this was going to be drag racing. You know, less drag, more race.”

After much potato planting, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin
2- Brook/Claire
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Nat/Kat
5- Chad/Stephanie
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Nick/Vicki

Teams get their clue and find that they must take a taxi back to St. Petersburg and find St. Isaac’s Cathedral, the PIT STOP of the sixth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Jill/Thomas – who win a trip for two to São Paulo, Brazil.
2- Brook/Claire
3- Michael/Kevin – who should have been first, if Kevin wasn’t so stubborn.
4- Nat/Kat
5- Chad/Stephanie
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Nick/Vicki

And Nick and Vicki are last. But this is the second of three non-elimination legs and they are still in the race! At least Nick has vowed not to break down again like he did in Ghana.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jill/Thomas
2nd – Brook/Claire
3rd – Michael/Kevin
4th – Nat/Kat
5th – Chad/Stephanie
6th – Gary/Mallory
7th – Nick/Vicki

Next week: Clowns! Circus! Spinning Plates! And Michael breaking down at his inability to play children’s games again. (Toyouke: “Well...I guess the fact that Michael and Kevin are in the previews means nothing big happens.”) Until next time! Clicky clicky